


Just One, I'm A Few

by vinegar-and-glitter (vinegarandglitter)



Series: One of a Kind [12]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Clones, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Clones, Connor Murphy LIVES, F/F, Gen, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-08-14 16:00:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 62
Words: 172,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16495796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinegarandglitter/pseuds/vinegar-and-glitter
Summary: Connor Murphy is just trying to live as normal a life as he can after finding out he's part of an illegal human cloning experiment and faking his own death. It's been six years since the organization who created the clones was taken down, but DYAD might not quite be done with them yet.Sequel to One of a Kind.A Dear Evan Hansen/Orphan Black AU.





	1. PROLOGUE

June 27, 2027

Report on Phanes Project - Subjects of Interest

 

**Subject 719F14: Reed Albrecht**

 

Date of Birth: 2/19/2000

Location: Boston, Massachusetts

Profession: Research Lead, Boston ERAS Centre

Significant Others: Chiv Yu, Head of Security at Boston ERAS Centre, Rita Lopez-Hill, Early Childhood Educator - partners

 

Current update: 719F14 continues to run a small team at ERAS working on genetic research. They and their partners live in central Boston. 

 

**Subject 90K7H3: Lucas Freeman**

 

Date of Birth: 2/3/2000

Location: Hartford, Connecticut

Profession: Financial Advisor, Dovetail Insurance

Significant Other: Donna Freeman (nee Winterbottom), Performer and Vocal Coach - wife (married 9/16/2023)

 

Current update: 90K7H3 is currently discussing a change of employment with his wife. There are also discussions of starting a family, which is of particular interest to the organization. 

 

**Subject PP9652: Marvin Adams (aka Torpedo)**

 

Date of Birth: 2/29/2000

Location: Paterson, New Jersey

Profession: Freelance Game Developer

Significant Other: N/A

 

Current update: PP9652’s work is highly recognized in his field. Caution is required when monitoring PP9652, due to his background in development and hacking. 

 

**Subject 2Y633D: Charles Booth (aka Beanpole)**

 

Date of Birth: 2/28/2000

Location: Boston, Massachusetts, about to relocate to Cambridge, England

Profession: Director, Boston ERAS Centre, Board Member ERAS International

Significant Other: Tina Booth (nee Cameron), Personal Assistant to the Director, Boston ERAS Centre  - wife (married 12/22/2024)

 

Current update: 2Y633D is stepping down as Director for the Boston ERAS Centre to return to the United Kingdom to complete his doctorate. This presents a unique opportunity for our organization (see observations). 

 

**Subject 887R95-A: Connor Murphy (aka Ben Childs, aka Dorian Sadler)**

 

Date of Birth: 2/15/2000

Location: Boston, Massachusetts

Profession: Freelance Copywriter and Novelist

Significant Other: Evan Hansen, Head of Research and Education, Boston ERAS Centre - fiance (engaged 7/22/2026)

 

Current update: 887R95-A continues to be difficult to keep track of, due to his many aliases. A current New York Times bestselling author under the pen name ‘Dorian Sadler’. 

 

**Subject 887R95-B: August Sadler (aka Gus)**

 

Date of Birth: 2/15/2000

Location: Boston, Massachusetts

Profession: Small Business Owner - Woofles Dog Grooming, Training and Daycare

Significant Other: N/A

 

Current update: Despite 887R95-B’s violent past, the organization has determined that while he should not be underestimated, subject should no longer be considered a threat. 

 

Observations:

 

All six key subjects continue to keep in contact and nurture their familial bond. It would be prudent to keep a close eye on Subject 90K7H3 and his attempts to procreate. As of yet, none of the Phanes clones have successfully reproduced. Though the genetic illness has been cured, there is still much unknown about the unique biology of the Phanes clones. 

 

Of particular interest is Subject 2Y633D, instrumental in creating the ERAS Centre and bringing down DYAD from the inside in 2021. 2Y633D, originally from England, has announced his return to the United Kingdom to finish his graduate studies at Cambridge University. 

 

A change in leadership at ERAS is imminent, with POI Evan Hansen taking over as interim director. Hansen is currently engaged to Subject 887R95-A and has proven loyalty to the Phanes subjects, but sources inside ERAS claim he lacks the drive of subject 2Y633D. The instability caused by the change in leadership is an opportunity for our organization that should not be squandered. 

 


	2. ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sparring and Starbucks.

As a child, there were many times where Gus was alone with his thoughts. Alone for long periods of time, with only what was in his head to focus on. There have always been many thoughts, many things to remember and hold on to. 

 

Not all of these thoughts have been good thoughts. 

 

There were also times as a child where Gus learned how to fight, how to hunt, how to kill. At first, these were things that frightened him, but he learned very young to turn off the parts of his brain that are afraid, to focus on what is in front of him. 

 

As a child, Gus relied on instinct. 

 

As an adult, there are still moments where instinct prevails. 

 

He is not proud of this. 

 

But he knows that his instinct to kill, to hurt, to hunt - it is taught. 

 

Not innate. 

 

Not a part of who he is. 

 

Who he is wanting to be. 

 

It is a balance, he has decided now that he is older. A balance between thoughts and action. These days, he has ways to cope with the dark thoughts, ways to calm the storms in his mind, but he still worries that his instinct is to kill, to hurt, to hunt. 

 

That when he is in a situation where he must act quickly, the killer will return. 

 

This is not always bad. He remembers almost escaping from DYAD, breaking his own arm to get out of the restraints, stabbing the dead-eyed clone in the shoulder and almost getting away. 

 

He remembers that he did not kill that clone. 

 

Even though he wanted to. 

 

He thinks that before, his instincts would have been to kill without thought, without remorse. 

 

Gus does not want to be someone who lets his instincts take control. 

 

That is why he is here. 

 

Here to learn a new type of instinct. 

 

The gym is not a place that smells good. There are smells of feet and sweat and it is not nice, but it is something Gus can deal with because he is here with a purpose. 

 

Even though it is different, there is a sense of the familiar as he begins. 

 

He looks at his opponent and prepares to strike. 

 

When he is August and not Gus, he would lose himself to his instincts. To the bloodlust, to the desire to kill, to hurt, to hunt. 

 

But this is not an opponent he wishes to harm. 

 

He focuses on the movements, focuses on how his body reacts. 

 

Strike. 

 

Punch. 

 

Kick. 

 

Block. 

 

He focuses on his muscles, on how to make the moves safe for his body. He focuses on points of weakness in his opponents, on how to disarm. 

 

Not to kill. 

 

Not to hurt. 

 

Not to hunt. 

 

To disarm. To disable. 

 

To best his opponent. 

 

The fight is not easy. His opponent has skill. Knows where to hit, where to kick, where to punch. 

 

Gus has been doing this much longer than his opponent, but that does not mean the fight is not fair. 

 

His opponent has a different background. Not trained as a killer, but a person with much rage. Rage to be channeled. Rage that needs to be focused and honed. 

 

His opponent is wild and unpredictable. 

 

He likes to watch them fight. 

 

He likes to fight with this opponent. 

 

A kick to his side pushes him off balance, just a little. The next kick he anticipates, and he grabs his opponent’s leg and throws them to the ground. 

 

They are not on the ground for long. Soon they are on their feet, fire in their eyes and a grin on their face. 

 

Punch. 

 

Kick. 

 

Strike. 

 

He makes his move. 

 

There is a struggle, but soon he has his opponent pinned to the floor. 

 

A knee on their chest. 

 

He remembers for a moment how he held down Tatiana, how he would have killed her for killing Jerome, for torturing him, for making him a killer. 

 

Just like this. 

 

A knee on her chest. 

 

Gus did not kill Tatiana. 

 

A part of him still wishes that he had. 

 

He locks eyes with his opponent, and he does not see hatred. Instead, he sees concern. 

 

His opponent taps out. 

 

Gus scrambles to his feet, then extends his hand to help his opponent up. 

 

They stand and look at each other for a moment. 

 

Then his sister pulls him into a hug, and they are no longer opponents. 

 

“You’re okay,” says Zoe gently. She lets go and she smiles. “Beat me fair and square. Guess that means Starbucks is on me, right?” 

 

Gus laughs, and lets the past fade away. “You are always changing your logic, sestra,” he says teasingly. “Tuesday you are winning, so you say it is the winner’s privilege to buy the Starbucks. Today you lose, so you say the loser must buy. It is hard to keep up.”

 

Zoe throws her arm around Gus’s waist and leans her head on his shoulder as they head to the locker rooms. She is sweaty and does not smell good, but Gus does not care. “You just have to accept that I’m always going to pay for Starbucks.”

 

Gus wrinkles his nose. “This is not fair. I think when we arrive, I will pay today.”

 

Zoe laughs. “You think you can beat me to paying at Starbucks?”

 

“I am very fast.”

 

“I know you are,” says Zoe, “but cute barista likes me better.”

 

It is Gus’s turn to laugh. “Do you want that I tell Hannah you flirt with the barista? This is something I could do.”

 

“Eh, Hannah’s met her. She understands.”

 

They separate to shower and change. Gus has shower gel that smells like strawberries, which he is liking very much. He lets the hot water soothe his tired muscles, which have worked hard to learn and fight. 

 

It is five years now that he and Zoe learn to fight. They take the mixed martial arts classes together because Zoe is wanting to learn to protect herself, and Gus is wanting to learn a way to channel his instincts. To learn ways to be safe, to have control. When he is August, he lacks control, like a wild animal kicking and clawing and hissing, only caring that he does damage. Not caring for his own safety. Just caring that he kills, he hurts, he hunts. 

 

He is not August anymore. 

 

But he still wants to know how to protect those he loves. 

 

For Zoe, it is a way to feel safe. She was thrown into a world of uncertainty very suddenly, without any warning. Gus imagines it is like an earthquake for her. An unexpected earthquake. You think that the ground will hold you, then all of a sudden it does not, and you are unprepared. 

 

It is different for Zoe. Things were steady, normal, safe - until they were not. 

 

For Gus, it took a long time to get to steady, normal and safe. 

 

But they both know what it is like to not have this. 

 

Sometimes Gus feels selfish. Zoe is only in his life because of events that brought her much pain, and sometimes he feels bad to be grateful for this. They are family, and this is good, but perhaps her life would be more easy if she had not been involved with the clones. 

 

He talks to his therapist of this. She says that to think of the ‘what if’ is a good way for thoughts to spiral, and this is not good for him, so he tries not to dwell on this. 

 

Instead, he focuses on the good things. 

 

He has a family who he loves very much. 

 

He is strong and healthy, and has a good business. 

 

Later today, there will be Starbucks. 

 

When Gus has finished his shower and gotten changed, he goes back to the lobby of the gym, where Pampushka is sitting next to Maggie at the desk. Pampushka gets up and runs over to him to give him kisses, and Gus smiles and gives kisses back. 

 

It is always good to see Pampushka. 

 

She is the best dog. 

 

“Thank you for watching her,” he says to Maggie. “It is very good that I do not leave her in the van. She likes it better.”

 

“She’s a very good girl,” says Maggie fondly. “I always like seeing her. She can hang out with me anytime.”

 

Gus sits on one of the plastic seats and pets Pampushka. Zoe usually takes longer in the shower, so there is time to kill. Gus takes his phone from his bag and sees there is a text from Connor. 

 

**From**

**Connor:**

_ We still on for tonight? I’ll bring Chinese.  _

 

Gus smiles, and goes to reply. 

 

**To**

**Connor:**

_ Yes wontons please _

 

The reply is almost instant. 

 

**From**

**Connor:**

_ LOL like I’d forget wontons _

_ You finish sparring?  _

_ Who won? _

 

**To**

**Connor:**

_ I did _

_ This time _

 

**From**

**Connor:**

_ Winner buys Starbucks? _

 

Gus sighs. 

 

**To**

**Connor:**

_ Zoe is changing rules _

_ Again _

_ She says she will buy _

 

**From**

**Connor:**

_ Well _

_ I mean _

_ She’s an actual millionaire _

_ She can afford a raspberry mocha _

 

**To**

**Connor:**

_ Its not the point _

_ Is principle _

 

**From**

**Connor:**

_ Well _

_ Good luck with that _

_ I gotta go write _

_ Or maybe clean the fridge _

_ I should probably clean the fridge _

 

**To**

**Connor:**

_ Go _

_ Do the writing _

_ Fridge is okay _

 

**From**

**Connor:**

_ No I definitely think I need to clean the fridge _

 

**To**

**Connor:**

_ Connor _

_ Write _

_ Go write  _

 

**From**

**Connor:**

_ But _

_ The fridge _

 

**To**

**Connor:**

_ WRITE. _

 

**From**

**Connor:**

_ Fiiiiiiine. _

 

“Ready to go?”

 

Gus looks up to see Zoe standing over him. Pampushka sits up and rubs her head against Zoe’s hand, and Zoe smiles. Her hair is wet and in a ponytail and she looks calm and happy, like she always does after sparring. 

 

Gus thinks the mixed martial arts are very good for Zoe. She competes sometimes, and has won many matches. It is a good way for her to channel her energy, Gus thinks, and is also good that she can defend herself. 

 

He thinks that if anyone decided to attack Zoe, he would almost feel sorry for them. 

 

His sister is very fierce and very strong. 

 

“I will pay for the Starbucks,” says Gus firmly as they head out to the parking lot. “You are the winner. Loser must pay for coffee.”

 

“We’ll see,” says Zoe, her eyes sparkling. They get into Gus’s van and Zoe plugs in her phone to charge and make music. Today is a day for David Bowie, and they sing along as Gus drives toward the Starbucks. 

 

As they arrive, Zoe’s phone buzzes, and she goes to check. Her face lights up and becomes soft, and Gus knows who is texting her. 

 

“Say hello to Hannah for me,” he says before Zoe can say anything.

 

Zoe smiles even wider. “She’s going to meet us here in like ten minutes, is that okay? She’s been working all morning and needs a break.” 

 

Gus nods. “It will be good to see Hannah.” 

 

While Zoe is texting Hannah back, Gus rushes to the counter to order a raspberry mocha for himself and a caramel macchiato for Zoe. By the time she is finished, Gus has successfully paid for the coffee and is feeling very good about things. Zoe comes over, frowns a little, then orders and pays for two cinnamon rolls, and Gus sighs in frustration. 

 

“You’ll never win,” says Zoe cheekily as she pays, winking at the barista who blushes a little bit. 

 

They find a table with comfortable chairs near the window and Pampushka curls up at Gus’s feet. Hannah arrives at the same time as their drinks are ready and joins them at the table. She looks tired but she is happy to see them, and Zoe insists on ordering her a drink so she can sit down and rest for a bit. 

 

“How is your study?” Gus asks. He does not really understand what Hannah is doing for her Ph.D. but he knows that she is brilliant. Genius. 

 

She is the one to find the key to curing the clones when she is only just 20 years old. Gus knows she will do incredible things in future. 

 

“Tiring,” Hannah admits, sinking into the chair. Pampushka goes over to her and nuzzles at her leg, and Hannah reaches down to pet her. “It’s been… yeah, it’s tiring. It’s good, though.” 

 

“I do not know much about the science,” Gus admits, “so is hard for me to ask questions. I am sorry you are tired, but I am glad that study is good. Maybe you can have vacation sometime soon? You and Zoe?” 

 

“We were thinking about it,” Hannah says, smiling at Zoe as she returns with an iced tea for Hannah. “After the Family Fun Day at Woofles is all done.”

 

“Family Fun Day is very busy time,” Gus agrees. “But if you are needing to have break, Zoe, I am sure we can manage without you.” 

 

Zoe rolls her eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of missing Family Fun Day. A whole day of hanging out with cute kids and cute dogs? It’s basically the dream.” 

 

“I’m looking forward to it,” Hannah says with a smile. “I get to run the cotton candy machine again, right?” 

 

“No one can get as much cotton candy on a stick as you can, babe,” says Zoe, leaning in and kissing Hannah on the cheek. 

 

Hannah blushes. “I mean, it’s physics.”

 

“You’re such a fucking nerd. It’s so cute I can’t stand it.”

 

Hannah and Zoe are very cute together, Gus thinks. It is clear they love each other very much. Gus will not be surprised if they decide to get married, but he thinks it will be after Hannah is finished with her Ph.D. He knows they are very serious about each other, and have been together for many years now. 

 

Gus thinks he would like that. 

 

To have someone special in his life, like Zoe has Hannah and Connor has Evan. 

 

It is now nearly two years since Joe goes to England, and Gus misses him sometimes, but that missing has become less as time is passing. He knows that he loved Joe. Joe was his first love in many ways, and it is always hard to lose this, he knows. 

 

Joe was patient and kind, and Gus is glad that he was his first real boyfriend. He still talks to Joe sometimes, and Joe is doing very well. Gus is glad that Joe has a job he loves in England, and is happy and successful. 

 

Gus is also glad that when Joe asked if he wanted to come to England with him, Gus is saying no. 

 

His life is here. 

 

His family is here, his business is here. 

 

He is happy with his family and his business. 

 

After Joe, he dated a man named Tim for a while, and it did not go so well. Tim was not very nice, and Zoe and Connor did not like him very much. Zoe even wrote a song about how much she did not like him. It was called “Motherfucking Asshole Tim” and even though Gus does not like to talk badly of people, it was a very catchy song. 

 

For now, Gus is okay to have his family and his dog. He does not feel lonely or alone, but he misses having someone special to hold and kiss and be with. Still, he does not think he is just wanting anyone - he is wanting someone who is right. Someone who is patient and kind and understands that sometimes Gus is strange, that there are strange things in his past and it is not always easy to be with him. 

 

Sometimes Gus thinks that the right person for him must be very hard to find, because there are so many things about him that are strange and unknown. But in his heart, he is romantic, and he still likes to have hope. 

 

Hope there is someone nice out there for him.

 

But for now, it is not something he will worry about. There is delicious coffee and he is with his sister and his friend and his dog. The sun shines through the window and warms him through, and the seat where he is sitting is very comfortable. 

 

It is all very good, and Gus is content. 


	3. TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beanpole's Last Day.

“For the last time, Charles - I don’t need you to empty the  _ entire _ office.” 

 

Charles looks up from where he’s packing books into a box to see Evan in the doorway, looking more amused than annoyed. He smiles sheepishly, but keeps packing. 

 

“I wanted you to have a clean slate,” says Charles. Again. They’ve been having this argument ever since Charles announced he was going back to Cambridge to do his Ph.D. and Evan would be taking over as the Director of the Boston branch of ERAS. 

 

Evan walks over and starts putting textbooks back onto the shelves. “Honestly, I really don’t mind storing them,” he says firmly. “You’re just going to be putting them in a storage unit if you don’t leave them here, and honestly it looks good to have the Director’s office full of books. Makes people think I’ve actually read them.”

 

Charles takes a book off the shelf and puts it in the box. “You should make the space your own,” he replies, equally firmly. “It’s a new era for ERAS, after all.”

 

Evan groans, then takes the book out of the box and puts it on the shelf. 

 

Charles puts the book back in a box. 

 

Evan crosses his arms across his chest and looks at him. “Charles Booth. I’m serious. It’s one bookshelf. It’s not like I’ve got a big enough collection to fill it with my own books.”

 

“I can just put the bookshelf into storage, too.” 

 

“Like I’m going to do anything with the extra space.”

 

“You could put a futon in here. In case you want to spend the night.”

 

Evan rolls his eyes. “Please. The day I spend the night at ERAS when I’ve got a perfectly comfortable bed and handsome fiance a five-minute drive away is the day I know I’ve completely lost my mind.”

 

Evan starts filling the bookshelf back up, and Charles realizes he’s not going to win this one. “Fine,” he says. “At least let me order you a new desk.”

 

“Nope,” Evan says cheerfully. “No need. Besides, I like this desk. It’s a good desk. The only reason I took the job is because of how much I like the desk.”

 

Charles relents, and helps Evan put the books back on the shelf, then folds up the cardboard box. He looks around the office for a long moment. 

 

He’s going to miss this. 

 

It’s changed over the years. He remembers when he first set it up, how it barely had anything except a desk and a couple of chairs and a bookshelf. Since then it has definitely been spruced up, which is a hundred percent Tina’s influence. 

 

Now it’s mostly empty, bar the desk and the bookshelf. Evan’s new PA is ordering in new chairs because the old ones were getting a bit worn out, and there’s talk of getting a new rug. 

 

Evan’s brought in some plants already, but Charles won’t be surprised if the office ends up looking more like a greenhouse by the time he’s finished. 

 

It is nice that the bookshelf is staying, though.

 

Just a little bit. 

 

“You’ll be back,” says Evan quietly, interrupting his thoughts. “Can’t leave me unchecked forever. I’m likely to go mad with power.”

 

Charles laughs. “Yes, that is indeed what I’m concerned about. Evan Hansen going mad with power.” He looks over at Evan and smiles. “You’re going to do amazing things. I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have looking after ERAS while I’m gone.”

 

Evan smiles, a little bashfully. “Just a reminder that I’m terrified.”

 

“That’s when you know you’re doing the right thing.”

 

There’s a knock on the open door, and Charles looks to see Reed standing in the doorway. They’re in some kind of caftan thing which looks ridiculous but admittedly rather comfortable. 

 

“There’s beer and snacks in the conference room,” Reed announces. “And since you’re the guest of honor, you’d better get your butt down there, Beanpole.” Reed then looks at Evan. “You too, Mr. Interim Director.” 

 

Evan goes a little pink and Charles is hit with a sudden rush of affection for his friend. Evan’s been with ERAS since the beginning, helped shape the organization into what it is today, even when things were hard for him. These days he just seems so much more confident and calm and Charles couldn’t be prouder. 

 

They follow Reed down to the conference room, and as they enter the room there’s a huge round of applause. All of the employees are there and there’s a huge cake on the table with the words ‘Bon Voyage Beanpole’ written on it. 

 

It’s incredibly embarrassing but Charles can feel himself tearing up. 

 

“Thank you all so much,” he says when the noise dies down. “I couldn’t have asked for better people to work with for the last few years, and I am genuinely going to miss all of you. But I know I’m leaving you all in the most capable hands and I’m very excited to see what you’re going to accomplish with Evan at the helm.” One of the research assistants hands him a bottle of beer, and he raises it, a little awkwardly. “Cheers, everyone. Enjoy the drinks.”

 

“Nicely done.”

 

Charles relaxes instantly at the familiar voice. Tina puts her arm around his waist and he leans down to kiss her gently. 

 

He still has absolutely no idea why this gorgeous creature agreed to marry him. 

 

“I’m not one for speeches,” he reminds her quietly, putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer to him. “Though I am going to miss it here.”

 

“We’ve made some good memories here,” says Tina, her tone a little teasing. “For example: remember how it took you two years to ask me out?”

 

Charles can feel himself blushing. “Yes, well, I can be rather daft when it comes to that sort of thing. As you well know.” 

 

“Oh, I know.”

 

There’s a good spread of snacks on the table, which Charles is 90% his wife was responsible for, especially when he sees there are salt and vinegar crisps which are his favorite. He finds himself a seat where the crisps are easily accessible and starts a conversation with Derek, one of the junior researchers, who seems a little nervous to be talking to the director (well, former director) but has some interesting things to say about his work. Every now and then, someone stops by to announce they’re leaving and to wish Charles the best, which he thinks is nice. 

 

Charles and Derek are in the middle of a discussion about neuroscience and robotics when Reed sits down across the table, hands Charles a beer and joins in the conversation. Moments later, Evan’s joined them, and Tina’s taken the seat next to Charles and Chiv’s sitting next to Reed and the conversation eventually drifts to what Charles and Tina are doing in the week before they leave the country. 

 

“Packing, mostly,” says Tina with a dramatic sigh, leaning her head against Charles’ shoulder. She’s had a couple of glasses of wine by now and has always been a cuddly drunk, so Charles puts his arm around her and kisses her on the forehead. 

 

“We’re mostly packed,” Charles assures the group. “We have to be out of the apartment by Sunday, and most of our things are already in storage, and we’ll be heading to New York to visit the office there and do a bit of a sightseeing before flying to the UK.”

 

“You won’t be starting your study until September though, right?” Evan asks. 

 

Charles shakes his head. “No, not until then. But we’re going to spend some time with my parents, and do a little bit of traveling while we’re at it.”

 

“Charles is taking me to Nice,” says Tina with a grin. 

 

Chiv grins. “I’ve heard that Nice is nice.” Reed groans and gently punches Chiv’s shoulder. Chiv looks utterly unrepentant at the comment. 

 

“We’re also going to Switzerland for a bit,” says Charles. “Tina speaks French and German, so that will be helpful.”

 

“You speak German?” Evan asks Tina. “Wow. I knew you spoke French and Japanese but I didn’t realize you spoke German as well. How many languages do you speak?”

 

Tina laughs. “English, Japanese, French, Russian, Mandarin, Afrikaans, German and Finnish.” Everyone kind of stares at her for a moment, clearly a little taken aback, and Charles can’t help but smile because his wife is so intelligent and beautiful and he’s just so lucky to have her. 

 

He may have also had quite a lot of beer, but the sentiment holds up. 

 

“How on earth did you learn to speak Finnish?” Reed asks. “It’s cool that you do, but it’s not exactly commonly spoken.”

 

“I dated a girl from Finland,” she explains with a roll of her eyes. “She was a little passive-aggressive and if I annoyed her, she’d just start speaking Finnish instead of English. So I learned Finnish. Mostly to piss her off, to be honest.”

 

Evan snorts. “Connor told me that when he and Gus were 19, Gus spent an entire month only speaking to Connor in Ukrainian because he was pissed at him.” 

 

Reed cracks up laughing. “Oh my god, I remember Connor telling us about that.” They grin. “Part of me feels like Gus is way too nice to pull something like that, but then I remember how much of a little shit your fiance can be.”

 

Charles looks at Evan, who looks like he’s trying not to laugh. 

 

Derek the junior researcher stands up and announces he’s heading home. Charles looks around the room to realize that they’re the only ones still here, then checks his phone and sees they’ve been talking and drinking for nearly two hours. 

 

“It’s seven,” says Tina, looking over Charles’ shoulder. “We don’t really have any plans for this evening if you wanted to order some pizza?” 

 

Evan’s got his phone out. He nods. “Is it okay if Connor joins us?” 

 

“Sounds good to me,” says Charles with a nod. He looks at Chiv and Reed. “Do you want to call Rita as well?”

 

There’s a sense of familiarity in getting this particular group of people together. Tina and Charles have spent plenty of time with Evan and Connor and Chiv, Reed and Rita over the years, and Charles realizes at that moment that these are the people he wants to spend one of his last nights in town with. 

 

“Connor said he’d pick up the pizza if we order it,” Evan volunteers, and Chiv says something about Rita bringing ice cream, and there’s a ton of alcohol still leftover from staff drinks, and they all decide unanimously to move into the staffroom which has comfortable couches and table tennis. 

 

Soon Connor’s arrived with pizzas and Rita’s arrived with ice cream and they all dig into greasy, cheesy goodness that Charles is definitely going to miss when he’s back in the UK - pizza’s just not quite the same in England. He is looking forward to fish and chips, though. 

 

“How’d your last day go?” says Connor as he flops down on the couch next to Evan. Tina and Rita are playing a spirited game of doubles against Chiv and Reed, and the three of them kind of half watch as they chat. 

 

“Good,” Charles says with a nod. “Evan wouldn’t let me pack up my books, though.”

 

“He likes the books,” Connors says mildly. “Books in an office make you look important. I should know. I write books. I’m a book guy.”

 

“And how is your new novel coming along?” Charles asks, injecting as much faux-innocence into his voice as he can manage. Evan starts laughing and Connor scowls. 

 

“He’s getting there,” says Evan fondly. “There’s just a lot of complaining happening. And a lot of procrastination.”

 

“I don’t procrastinate that much.”

 

“The only time you ever deep clean is when you’re supposed to be writing,” Evan points out. 

 

A ping-pong ball comes flying at Connor before he can answer and Rita lets out a yelp and starts apologizing profusely. Tina seems to take that as her cue to finish playing, walks over and sits on Charles’s lap. Charles pulls her closer and kisses her and she tastes like cheese and white wine and he thinks for a moment that it doesn’t matter where in the world he is, as long as he’s got Tina with him it’s going to feel like home. 

 

“Did you ask Evan about the thing?” 

 

Charles blinks for a moment, then remembers. “Oh.”

 

“What thing?” asks Evan, frowning a little. 

 

Charles feels a little silly bringing this up while he’s a little bit tipsy and has a lap full of his beautiful wife, but he’s been putting off the conversation for weeks now and he promised Tina he would. She tightens her grip around him, kisses him on the forehead and takes his hand. 

 

“It’s, uh, a little bit out of the blue, I realize,” Charles begins, his voice hesitant, “but I was wondering if you’d be able to talk to Lucas and Donna about their plans for having a family.”

 

Connor looks a little confused but Evan seems to click immediately. “You want me to get Lucas to agree to some testing,” he says. “To see if the clones are actually able to procreate.”

 

Connor’s eyes widen. “Whoa. Okay. I’d… actually never thought about that.” 

 

“ERAS has been keeping tabs on all the clones worldwide,” Charles explains, “and so far there’s no record of any clones having successfully impregnated someone. Considering that we’re twenty-seven, it’s… a little unusual.”

 

“Doesn’t mean the clones can’t,” Evan points out. “But it could be something that needs some kind of intervention. IVF or something like it.” He frowns. “I can talk to Lucas, but I can’t guarantee he’ll be cool with being a lab rat for this. He’s always been… wary of what we do here.”

 

“There’s another thing to consider,” Charles says, his tone cautious. He’s not sure how to phrase this without it sounding… weird. “And that’s… Gus and Connor. We know they’re different from the rest of us because of the regeneration factor and the immunity to the clone illness, but we don’t know how that affects… other things.”

 

Connor’s eyes widen even further. “Are you trying to say I’ve got some kind of weird super sperm?”

 

Tina snorts, and Evan looks thoughtful. “I mean, we could do some tests?” he suggests, looking at his fiance. 

 

Connor sighs. “I guess? I mean, it’s kind of moot, right? It’s not like either Gus or I are going to get anyone pregnant.”

 

“Not necessarily true,” Evan points out. “Gus is single at the moment, but some men do have the parts required. He might meet one and decide to give it a go.”

 

“That’s true,” Connor says, a little sheepishly. “I guess we’d better find out what’s going on in that department.” A thought seems to occur to him. “Oh god, what if we’re the only ones who  _ can _ have kids? Does that mean I have to, like, spend hours whacking off so I can donate my sperm to a bunch of clones who want babies?” 

 

“If it’s taking you  _ hours _ to whack off, you’re doing it wrong,” says Tina. 

 

Connor throws a rogue ping pong ball at her. 

 

Charles takes the ping pong ball off Tina before they can start an all-out war. 

 

“I mean, we all have identical DNA,” Charles points out. “If it turns out that you and Gus can father children and the rest of us can’t, there could be a discussion. But we wouldn’t force you to do anything. We’re not going to lock you in a room with a filthy magazine and refuse to let you out until you’ve jizzed in a cup.” 

 

Evan’s eyes widen comically. 

 

Tina bursts into giggles. 

 

Connor looks like he’d rather be absolutely anywhere else. He turns to Evan. “You’re responsible for telling Gus all of this,” he says firmly. 

 

Evan shakes his head. “Absolutely not.” He grins. “I bet Zoe would do it.”

 

Connor groans and buries his face in his hands. 

 

“This is all speculation,” Charles feels compelled to point out. “At the moment, we just don’t know.”

 

Evan looks at him, then his eyes light up. “You don’t just want to know for Lucas’s sake, do you?” He looks at Tina, then at Charles and smiles. “You guys want to start a family of your own and want to know what your options are.”

 

Tina looks at Charles and her face softens. “Yeah,” she says quietly. “We do. Want a family, that is. Not now, obviously. Not until Charles has finished his PhD. But… we do want a family. Or at the very least, we want to know if we can. If it’s on the table at all.”

 

Connor looks at Charles for a long moment, all traces of embarrassment melting from his face. “If it all… if your theory about me and Gus is right. When you and Tina are ready for kids… you just have to ask. I’ll help. Of course I’ll help.” 

 

Charles feels something in his heart clench. 

 

It occurs to him, not for the first time, that even though he’s technically going home to England, he’s leaving his family here. 

 

Clone Club, as they affectionately dub themselves, is family. 

 

And Charles is going to miss them terribly. 


	4. THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Margaritas and familiar faces.

Connor has a weird relationship with New York City. 

 

When he was a kid, he visited a couple of times and thought it was incredibly cool. He has vague memories of the Empire State Building and an I Heart New York t-shirt and buying a plastic keyring with a picture of the Statue of Liberty in it for his dad with his allowance. It was a cheap, kind of tacky thing but Connor remembers his dad putting it on his keys straight away. 

 

Connor doesn’t remember seeing his dad ever remove that keyring. 

 

He’s pretty sure he still had that keyring on his keys in all its faded, tacky glory right up until Connor…

 

Right up until he died. 

 

Living in New York City as Ben Childs was completely different to those trips as a kid, for obvious reasons. Not only was he trying to be a whole other person, it was also a completely different world living in the heart of the city. 

 

He has good memories from his time in New York, sure. 

 

But there are also things he’d rather forget. 

 

Once he finished his degree, Connor had moved to Boston and he and Evan had found a place together close to the ERAS office. Connor likes Boston a hell of a lot more than New York - there are fewer people, it’s quieter, it’s slower paced. And of course, he’s got his family close by. 

 

Connor has been back to New York relatively regularly since his book was published, but every time it still feels kind of weird. 

 

Familiar, but not. 

 

At the end of the day, New York is New York and it’ll keep on keeping on the way it always does, regardless of whether he’s living there, but it always feels kind of weird. Like a sweater you wore too many times that’s stretched out so much you can’t wear it like you used to but still has that smell that sends you back in time. 

 

It’s been three weeks since Evan took over as interim director of the Boston branch of ERAS, and he’d organized a meeting at the New York branch to do… some kind of scientific discussion that Connor doesn’t really understand. When Evan asked if Connor wanted to come with him, he’d agreed immediately. The plan was to make a long weekend of it. 

 

Connor booked them a fancier-than-strictly-necessary hotel which turned out to be not too far from his old apartment. While Evan’s in meetings all day Thursday and Friday, Connor takes the opportunity to visit some of his old stomping grounds and actually manages to get some writing done in a cafe he used to spend ridiculous amounts of time in during his undergrad. 

 

On Friday afternoon, Connor’s sitting writing in the cafe when a woman with dark hair walks past. For a moment, he’s convinced it’s Pippa and goes to say hi. 

 

It’s not Pippa. 

 

But it does remind him that Pippa’s working as a lawyer in New York.

 

He still has her number. 

 

They hadn’t exactly stayed in touch during college. Pippa had gone to Princeton and Connor had gone to NYU and they’d emailed a little bit in freshman year, until they didn’t. Pippa was busy, Connor was busy and they just fell out of touch. 

 

In some ways, Connor hadn’t minded too much. In the end, Pippa had turned out to be a good friend, despite the initial weirdness of her being Ben’s girlfriend and DYAD monitor, but Pippa was part of Ben’s life, and Connor was trying to find a balance between Ben Childs and Connor Murphy, and the less he had to do with Ben’s life the better. 

 

That all changed when ERAS took down DYAD and exposed human cloning to the world.

 

Pippa had called him a few days after Zoe and Hannah had gone back to Vermont after DYAD went down and Evan nearly got himself killed rescuing Gus. 

 

Connor remembers the conversation pretty vividly, despite being in pretty bad shape at the time. Growing back an eye. Recovering from torture. Sick with the knowledge that the man he loved had betrayed him and wanted to die. 

 

“Human cloning,” Pippa had said, genuine wonder in her voice. “Did you know?”

 

Connor had taken a moment to respond, but eventually gave in. “I found out in high school, yeah.”

 

Pippa had been quiet for a moment. “The study I did… reporting back about you. It wasn’t because you were an IVF baby, it was because you were a clone.” She’d chuckled weakly. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

 

“No, you’re not,” Connor had replied honestly, because Pippa is many things but an idiot isn’t one of them. “You weren’t… you couldn’t have known.”

 

“Ben…” Pippa had trailed off, then cleared her throat, and Connor realized that she was trying not to cry. 

 

“I don’t blame you for the study,” Connor rushed to assure her. “I don’t… you didn’t know. You couldn’t have known. It’s all… shady as hell, I know, but you were just a kid.”

 

“So were you.”

 

“I don’t blame you,” Connor said again. 

 

Connor could hear Pippa sniffing, then swearing softly in Spanish, then taking a deep breath. “Do you know others?” she’d asked, her tone determined. “Other clones.”

 

“Yeah,” Connor admitted. “Yeah, I do.” 

 

Pippa was deadly quiet for a moment. “Did I meet others?” 

 

Something cold gripped Connor’s stomach. “What do you mean?” 

 

“There was… a party. And you were acting kind of weird and sounded… it wasn’t you, was it? It wasn’t you at that party. You sounded  _ French _ .” 

 

The cold had spread throughout his body then. He hadn’t known what to say. Hadn’t known how to explain it. 

 

He’d stayed quiet for too long, and Pippa had sighed. “It wasn’t you, was it. It was another one. You… I didn’t know, I thought it was you, and I… and we…”

 

“I’m sorry,” Connor blurted out. “That wasn’t… he was… his name was Guy, and he was here with information about DYAD, and we… me and the other clones… I had to go to New Jersey to get the information decrypted and I didn’t want you to suspect anything so I… I’m sorry.”

 

Pippa had been quiet for so long that Connor had started to suspect she’d hung up on him. When she finally spoke, she sounded sad. “You were… you were so different, Ben. Senior year, you were just… so different. Are… are you Ben? Are you really Ben?” 

 

Connor still doesn’t know if he made the right call. 

 

He’d taken a deep breath, clenched his fists, and lied through his teeth. 

 

“I’m Ben,” he’d said quietly. “I mean… I kind of go by Connor these days? My parents… we don’t really talk, and I’m kind of trying to… distance myself from that part of my life. Things were… things were bad. But I’m still… I’m still the Ben you knew. I’m still him.”

 

Another silence. “What would you like me to call you?” Pippa had asked finally. 

 

“You can call me Ben if you want.”

 

“I asked what you wanted.”

 

He’d taken a while to respond, but finally, he’d gotten there. “Connor. I’d… I’d like it if you called me Connor.”

 

Connor stares at his phone for a moment, then picks up his coffee cup and takes a sip. Then puts the coffee cup down. Then picks it back up. Then picks up his phone, and scrolls down to a contact he’s never managed to bring himself to delete. 

 

Pippa answers almost immediately. 

 

“Connor?”

 

“Hey. Evan and I are in New York for the weekend. Did you want to get a drink?”

 

Evan doesn’t take too much convincing to agree to go out for a drink on Saturday night with Pippa. Pippa’s suggested some hipster-y place that’s in a different part of town to where Connor used to live and he’s kind of looking forward to it. They get an Uber from the hotel and Connor takes a moment to admire Evan’s butt in his jeans as they get in, earning an eye roll and a kiss from his fiance. 

 

Pippa and Evan first met in early 2024, and get along better than Connor would expect. Turns out that Pippa has had dealings with ERAS in her law career and the two of them have a lot to talk about. Pippa’s a lot less highly strung than she was in high school, despite the demanding, high powered career. She did her undergrad at Princeton and her law degree at Harvard and seems to have a pretty promising career. 

 

She’s also a big fan of Dorian Sadler’s work, despite teasing Connor mercilessly about how many names he seems to be going by these days. 

 

Connor thinks that there’s a part of Pippa that suspects that he’s not really Ben Childs. 

 

But he also thinks that it’s not a can of worms she wants to open. 

 

It’s certainly not one he’s about to dive into. 

 

Pippa’s ordered them a pitcher of margaritas and found them a spot near a stage, which has Connor feeling… a little nervous. “Is there some kind of show going on?” he asks. 

 

Pippa nods. “There’s a stand-up comedian performing who’s really good,” she says. “Her name is Diane, I’ve seen her a few times locally and I really enjoy her work.”

 

“Wouldn’t have taken you for a stand-up comedy fan,” says Connor, pouring himself another glass of margarita. 

 

Pippa grins. “I have hidden depths.” She flips her hair over her shoulder. “Plus, I’m all for supporting women in male-dominated fields.”

 

“Hear hear,” says Evan, raising his glass in Pippa’s direction. She grins and taps her glass to his. 

 

An hour later and more than a couple of pitchers of margaritas in, someone finally takes the stage. Connor recognizes them as one of the bartenders. 

 

“Hey everyone, unfortunately Diane Chow won’t be able to join us tonight, but we’ve got a replacement for you! Let’s give a warm welcome to Dylan Fitzpatrick!”

 

The room bursts into polite applause and a tall guy with messy hair walks up to the microphone. 

 

Pippa audibly gasps. 

 

Evan looks at Connor and cracks up laughing. 

 

Connor tries not to roll his eyes. 

 

Of course. 

 

Of  _ course _ he’s watching one of his clones do standup comedy in a bar in New York.

 

“Uh, hey,” says the clone, kind of shuffling toward the mic. He’s wearing shorts and flip-flops and has his hands in his pockets and has an accent Connor can’t quite place. “So, uh, I’m Dylan, and I’m here to tell you some jokes.”

 

Pippa downs her entire glass of margarita and pours another herself another glass. 

 

Connor’s got the sneaking suspicion that this is not going to be good. 

 

The guy launches into a story about lawn-mowing that makes absolutely no sense, and is hard to understand because of his accent, which Connor thinks might be Australian but isn’t a hundred percent sure on. He feels a buzzing from his pocket and realizes he’s getting messages on his phone. 

 

**Clone Club Group Chat**

_ Reed Albrecht, Torpedo Adams, Charles Booth, Gus Sadler, Evan Hansen + 8 Others _

 

**Evan:**

Guys

We’re at a comedy gig in New York

And there’s a CLONE

Doing STAND UP

And it’s SO BAD

 

**Zoe:**

OMG

 

**Hannah:**

Stand up comedy clone

We’ve seen it all

 

**Torpedo:**

Name?

 

**Evan:**

Dylan Fitzpatrick

He’s got a pretty strong accent

I think he’s Australian

But not quite

 

**Reed:**

Maybe New Zealand?

 

**Zoe:**

New Zealand isn’t real

And if he’s a clone

He’s too tall to be a hobbit

 

_ [Hannah Weiss likes this] _

 

**Hannah:**

Maybe he’s an elf

 

_ [Zoe Murphy likes this] _

 

“... so he takes off his pants, and rubs them on the door of the car, and the car door springs open! And she’s like ‘whoa, that’s amazing - how did you do that?’ And he goes ‘not a problem, ma’am - these are my car key trousers.”

 

The clone looks at the audience expectantly, like he’s anticipating a laugh, but everyone mostly looks confused. 

 

“Get it? Car key? Like the pants?” He scratches his head. “Wow. Tough crowd. Uh…” He looks at the bartender, who’s making frantic gestures, then puts the microphone back on the stand. “Um… I’ve been Dylan Fitzpatrick, and… thank you and goodnight!”

 

There’s a smattering of confused applause. Evan looks at Connor, and he’s clearly a little bit tipsy because the next words out of his mouth are: “You should go and introduce yourself.”

 

Connor shakes his head. “No. Absolutely not.”

 

“Come on,” Evan insists, looking over to where the clone is sitting in a corner, a look of disappointment on his face. “He looks so sad. I’ll come with you.”

 

Evan takes Connor’s hand, and Connor finds himself being dragged over to where Dylan Fitzpatrick is sitting. The clone’s eyes widen when he sees him, but he doesn’t look like he’s completely terrified. 

 

Connor guesses that’s one of the benefits of human cloning being more or less public knowledge. 

 

“Hey,” says Evan cheerfully. “I’m Evan, this is my fiance Connor. You’ll notice you have the same face.”

 

“Hey man,” says Connor awkwardly, extending a hand, which Dylan takes, still a little shocked. “Uh, good show.”

 

Dylan smiles a little ruefully. “You don’t have to lie. I know it was rubbish. I wasn’t really prepared? I’ve been hounding these guys for weeks to let me do a set and they only gave me like five minutes notice and… I kind of crashed and burned, actually.” He sighs. “Guess they won’t be letting me onstage again.”

 

“Where are you from?” Evan asks. “I can’t quite place your accent.”

 

“New Zealand,” he says, relaxing a little bit. “I’m kind of just… traveling at the moment. I did some comedy back home, but they always say that New York’s the place to go, so here I am.” He shrugs and puts his hands in his pocket. “Honestly I have no fucking clue what I’m doing, really.” 

 

“Come have a drink with us,” Connor says impulsively, gesturing to where Pippa is sitting and watching them intently. “We’ve got margaritas.”

 

Dylan’s eyes brighten. “Mean.”

 

Evan frowns. “What?”

 

“Oh. It’s like… cool.”

 

“Okay?”

 

When they get back to the table, Pippa immediately extends her hand to introduce herself. “Phillipa Martinez,” she says, and Connor can see when Dylan takes her hand that he’s a little taken aback at the firmness of her handshake. “You can call me Pippa.”

 

“Dylan Fitzpatrick,” he says, looking a little starry-eyed at the sight of her. Connor has to admit that Pippa’s still every bit as beautiful as she was in high school - possibly even more so. 

 

Sure, he’s gay, but he’s not  _ blind.  _

 

“I didn’t get that last joke,” says Pippa bluntly. “Why would you have car key trousers?”

 

“Like… beige trousers?” Dylan says, frowning a little. 

 

“Oh, you mean khaki!” says Evan, eyes widening. “You guys pronounce it differently, that’s why… okay, that’s actually really funny.”

 

“I guess I have to add that to my list of ‘things that aren’t funny in America’,” Dylan says, a little glumly. “Comedy is not universal, apparently.” 

 

“So is Connor your first clone?” Evan asks, extremely bluntly. 

 

Connor might be cutting him off from the margaritas soon. 

 

“Actually, yeah,” Dylan says with a nod. “I mean, I knew they existed, because it was in the news and stuff, but I’ve never actually met one before.” Pippa pours him a glass of margarita and he takes it with a smile, then turns back to Evan. “My old flatmate reckoned there was a clone working at the New World around the corner from our flat, but it turned out it was just a tall guy with the same haircut as me.” 

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” says Connor, a little surprised at how much he means it. 

 

Over the past six years, he hasn’t actually met that many new clones. Reed’s met a few, as has Beanpole, and Evan’s definitely come across some during his travels for work, but Connor’s managed to avoid running into familiar faces for the most part. Dylan’s a little weird, sure, but he seems nice enough, and he hasn’t run away screaming or asked a whole bunch of questions, so Connor’s calling this one a win. 

 

Dylan has a sip of his margarita, then looks at Connor, expression a little timid. “This is gonna sound super weird, but… can I get a selfie? My cousin still thinks that the clone thing is like some mad conspiracy so I kind of want to freak her out.”

 

Connor laughs. “Sure. Full disclosure - I’m really bad at taking selfies.”

 

Turns out Dylan has a knack for taking selfies, and they end up spending the rest of the evening taking stupid photos, drinking far too many margaritas and laughing at Dylan’s accent. Before Connor finally decides that it’s time for them to he and Evan to head back to the hotel, they all exchange numbers. Dylan talks about coming down to Boston to visit sometime to meet the others, which sends Evan into a fit of giggles at the mental image of Dylan trying to hold a conversation with Gus. 

 

Finally they all part ways, Connor making sure to give Pippa a firm hug before they leave. 

 

He’s glad he’s managed to keep his friendship with Pippa. 

 

He’s glad that she’s happy and successful here in New York. 

 

It’s been nice to visit the city, even though it’s not home anymore. 

 

He’ll be glad to be back to Boston tomorrow. 


	5. FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day at the ERAS office.

Evan hadn’t meant to freak Lucas out. He honestly hadn’t. 

 

A month into his new position at ERAS, he'd decided it was a good time to start looking into the clone fertility thing. Mostly because Connor asked him how it was going and he had to admit that he hadn’t even thought about it yet. 

 

“There’s a lot going on,” he’d said, feeling the tendrils of guilt wrap around his stomach. “I just… haven’t gotten around to it.”

 

“No pressure,” Connor had replied, throwing his hands up in a display of mock surrender. “I’m just interested. That’s all.” 

 

Evan had stopped in his tracks then. “Do you want kids?” he’d asked, point blank.

 

Connor had stared at him for a moment. Opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it again, and finally spoke. 

 

“I don’t think so.” There was a pause. “Do you?” 

 

“I don’t think so either,” Evan admitted. “I’m happy to be, like, a slightly dorky uncle, but I… I don’t feel like I need to have kids?” 

 

Connor nodded and smiled a little ruefully. “I guess it’s better that we don’t have kids if neither of us is completely sold on the idea,” he’d said, taking Evan’s hand then kissing it lightly. “I feel like… kids are great, but they should be wanted. A hundred percent wanted. If we’re both not sure if we want kids, then we shouldn’t.” 

 

“Yeah,” Evan had agreed, squeezing Connor’s hand gently. “I think… I’m really glad we’re on the same page.”

 

Connor had smiled at Evan then, the smile he’s always loved, and squeezed his hand back. “Is there anything I can do to help?” he’d asked. “With the whole clone fertility testing thing?”

 

“It’ll definitely be worth doing some tests later on,” Evan had said. “But I think my first step has to be getting in touch with Lucas and Donna.”

 

Evan had tried to make his message to Lucas as neutral as possible. All he’d said was that if Donna and Lucas were in Boston anytime soon, they should stop by the ERAS building and say hi. 

 

He wasn’t expecting them to show up the very next day.

 

Lucky for Evan, his personal assistant is actually in the building when they show up and brings them to Evan’s office without too much drama. (Evan’s new PA has an unfortunate habit of not showing up to work on time, not being where he’s supposed to be at any given moment and not keeping his phone on him. It’s really not particularly helpful.)

 

“Is everything okay?” Lucas asks as soon as the door to the office closes. “What’s going on?” 

 

“Everything’s fine,” Evan replies, a little alarmed at Lucas’s panic. “I just thought I’d touch base with you guys about… well…”

 

It feels super weird to be discussing sex with his fiance’s clone and he’s not sure how to broach the subject. Thankfully, Donna seems to figure out what he’s not saying. 

 

“This is about how we’re trying for a baby, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah,” Evan replies gratefully. 

 

Lucas frowns and goes a little pale. “Have you found out something? Is it… can we not…”

 

“I don’t know,” Evan admits. “Charles and I talked about it before he left and he suggested I have a chat with you guys. He and Tina are thinking of starting a family of their own eventually so they’ve got a vested interest in finding out what the story is.” 

 

Donna bites her lip and nods, frowning a little. “I mean, I kind of thought it could be… difficult,” she admits. “What with the clone illness and all that. And we’re not…” She looks at Lucas, who nods a little, then looks back at Evan. “If it turns out that we can’t have kids biologically, that’s just how it is. We’re okay with it. It’s just that there’s been… pressure.”

 

“From Lucas’s parents?” Evan guesses. 

 

Lucas nods. “Yeah.” A dark expression flits across his face for a moment. “We mentioned we were thinking of adopting and they were just… not great about it. Apparently, we have a responsibility to keep the Freeman bloodline going or some shit like that.”

 

Evan frowns. “They… do they still not know you’re a clone? And not actually a blood relation at all?”

 

Lucas shakes his head. “If they know, they’ve never said anything. I think they’re kind of willfully ignorant at this stage.” 

 

Evan is never going to understand Lucas’s parents. 

 

“Basically, they’ll be happy as long as the grandchild appears by way of my uterus,” Donna says bluntly. “Not that making Richard and Ariana Freeman happy is something I really care about, but…” She glances at Lucas, her expression a little sad. “I mean, it’s not a deal-breaker, but it’s a consideration.”

 

Evan sighs. “Okay, so here’s what we know. ERAS has records of pretty much all the clones all over the world from the DYAD records. There are probably some gaps here and there, some who’ve fallen off the radar, some who have passed away, but we’re looking at… somewhere in the vicinity of 500 clones. And so far, we’ve had no record of any of them having fathered a child.”

 

“So that means we probably can’t have kids,” says Lucas, a little flatly. 

 

“Not necessarily,” Evan points out. “I mean, sure, by 27 we might have expected some kids to show up, but you have to remember that when we talk about clones, we’re mostly talking about men.” 

 

“It’s pretty easy to knock someone up and never talk to them again,” Donna says with a wry smile. “So it’s not impossible that there are clone babies out there.”

 

“No, it’s not,” Evan agrees. He looks at Lucas. “But we can do some tests.” 

 

Lucas’s eyes widen in fear. “Tests? What kind of tests?”

 

Evan really wishes he weren’t having this conversation. “Well, we can check your sperm count, for one thing.”

 

Lucas goes bright red. Donna cracks up laughing. 

 

“Give me ten minutes with this one and I’ll get you a sample,” she says with an exaggerated wink. 

 

Evan didn’t think it was possible for Lucas to go any redder but it turns out he’s wrong on that point. 

 

“Donna, please.”

 

“I mean, if you wanted to give us a sample now, I can get one of our interns to do the necessary tests?” Evan offers, fully aware that he’s probably bright red at this point as well. 

 

There are so many things he’d rather be doing than talking about sperm with Lucas and Donna. 

 

“Better find us a soundproof room, Director Hansen,” says Donna, who’s openly grinning at Lucas and Evan’s obvious discomfort by this stage. “He’s a screamer.”

 

“Donna,  _ stop _ .”

 

“I think one of the downstairs labs is soundproof,” Evan manages to mutter before picking up his phone and calling his assistant. Who, naturally, doesn’t answer. He sighs, then hangs up and calls Reed and asks them if they can send down one of their interns. 

 

“What do you need?” Reed asks, in their calm, matter-of-fact business voice. 

 

“I’ve got Lucas here, we’re going to run some tests.”

 

“Sperm count, gotcha,” says Reed, only the faintest hint of amusement in their voice. “Tell you what, leave it with me. I’ll come down and get it sorted myself.”

 

“Lucas will be thrilled,” Evan says dryly. “By the way, have you seen Chiv?”

 

“Yeah, he’s just here with me.”

 

“Perfect. If he’s got a moment, can you get him to come to my office?”

 

“Depends,” says Reed teasingly. “Has he been a bad boy?”

 

“He’s fine,” Evan replies with a roll of his eyes. “I just have something I want to run by him.”

 

The call ends, and he looks at Donna and Lucas. “Reed’s on their way.”

 

Lucas buries his face in his hands. “Just what I needed.”

 

“Your siblings love and support you,” Donna says with a genuine smile. “It’s nice.”

 

“Giving a sperm sample is not something I need the love and support of my siblings for,” Lucas grumbles. 

 

Reed arrives moments later with Chiv. Donna and Lucas both stand up and Donna pulls Reed into a hug before they get a chance to say anything. “You’re looking well,” says Donna brightly before letting go and moving on to hug Chiv. “How’s Rita?”

 

“She’s good,” Chiv replies with a smile. “We should all do dinner sometime.”

 

“Enough small talk,” says Reed, throwing their arm around Lucas’ shoulder. “We’ve got to find somewhere for Donna to get Lucas off.”

 

“Go easy on him, Reed,” says Evan before Lucas can say anything. “If his brain explodes from embarrassment you’re on clean-up.”

 

Reed escorts Donna and Lucas out of the room, Donna still in fits of giggles. Chiv takes one of the seats by Evan’s desk and looks Evan straight in the eye. 

 

“Let me guess, I’m fired?”

 

“I wouldn’t let you escape that easily,” says Evan with a grin. “Good help is hard to find.” He leans forward. “I actually wanted to talk to you about my assistant.”

 

Chiv winces. “Yeah. I, uh, I kind of noticed he’s… useless.”

 

“He’s not particularly reliable,” Evan says with a sigh. “I’ve spoken to him about it a couple of times now and he’s always very apologetic but… I don’t think it’s working.”

 

Chiv nods. “You’re the boss.” He clears his throat. “No offense, but… I’m Security, not HR. Why talk to me about this?” 

 

“Well, I found the shortlist of the applications,” Evan said, pulling a folder from a pile on his desk. “And I saw that there were some applicants that looked great but didn’t make it past the security check? Only thing is, I can’t quite tell why. So I was hoping you could shed some light.”

 

Reed takes the folder and looks through the documents, then nods. “Okay. Yeah, I was wondering when this would come up.” He looks Evan straight in the eye. “Charles was pretty strict on security when we first started up. I don’t know how much you remember of that first year - you were kind of busy, and things were… a little rough, I know, but when we first started, we didn’t hire anyone who’d come from DYAD who wasn’t ESM when it all burned down. Like, at all.” 

 

Evan takes this in. “Okay. But that’s changed, right? I mean, there are definitely ex-DYAD employees here. I recognize people who used to work with me at DYAD around the office all the time.”

 

Chiv nods. “Yes. We couldn’t avoid it. As we got bigger, we needed the knowledge, the manpower - but we’ve been careful. Really careful. We’re monitoring people closely, limiting their security access.” He pulls out two files from the folder and puts them in front of Evan. “Both of these candidates worked for DYAD in different parts of the country. You’re the director now. Your PA has to have a certain level of security. That’s what ruled these candidates out.”

 

Evan looks at the two files in front of him. 

 

Teresa Schelling, Executive Assistant to the Director of the Los Angeles DYAD Office. 

 

Martina Perez, Executive Assistant to the Director of the Toronto DYAD Office. 

 

“Either one of these candidates is vastly more qualified than George,” he says bluntly. “I need someone I can rely on.” He looks at Chiv intently. “Do you think you can do some digging into both of these people? See if you can find anything more concrete that rules them out than them having worked for DYAD? I just… there’s a lot of administration work to do and I’m drowning in it. Having an assistant who actually shows up and knows what they’re doing is really going to help. I know no one can replace Tina, but we really need a solution here.”

 

Chiv nods. “I can definitely look into it.” He leans forward intently. “Look. Charles is kind of paranoid. I know it. You know it. But he’s… well, he’s not wrong. DYAD was crawling with all sorts of people who couldn’t be trusted.”

 

“It also had plenty of good people who didn’t realize what was happening,” Evan feels compelled to point out. “And good people who got swept up into something they didn’t understand until it was too late.”

 

“I know,” Chiv assures him. “I do.” He sighs. “I have a list of every single current employee who’s worked for DYAD before and I admit, I keep a closer eye on them than I do everyone else. Sure, it’s extra effort, but it’s important. We don’t want to jeopardize what we’ve worked for here.”

 

“Of course not,” Evan says firmly. “But I’m going to need a better reason than ‘they used to work for DYAD’ to not hire one of these two, provided they’re still interested.” 

 

Chiv nods and takes the files back. “I’ll look into it.” 

 

“Thank you.” Evan rubs his temple. He’s getting a headache. “It would have been nice if Charles had mentioned this before he left.”

 

Chiv kind of raises his eyebrows at that. “Would it have made a difference?”

 

“I guess not,” says Evan, feeling himself deflate a little. “I just… look, I know I’m basically babysitting. I’m not trying to rock the boat, I’m not trying to declare that now that I’m in charge, we’re going to do things differently. I just think that it’s a little insane to instantly distrust someone just because they used to work for DYAD. Hell, Charles and I both worked for DYAD.” He sighs again. “It’s been six years. DYAD did some awful things and I’m sure there are still people out there who think it was justified, but that’s not how  _ we _ do things. We’re not going to let that happen again.”

 

“And what if there’s a group like ESM, made up of disgruntled former DYAD employees, who pull something like what we did back in 2021?” Chiv points out gently. “I’m not saying that there is, but… I’m not saying that there isn’t. We’ve all worked hard for this. But we’re still young. We’re still new. We have to watch our backs.”

 

“I don’t want to do anything that’s going to jeopardize what we’ve worked for,” Evan retorts. “I don’t. Of course I don’t. ERAS is… it’s important to me, not just as a place to work but… it’s more than that. You know it’s more than that. But I don’t want to spend my entire time here paranoid that something’s going to go wrong.” 

 

Chiv kind of smiles at that. “Well, no, that’s not your job - that’s mine.” He looks at Evan and the smile fades. “I’ve got your back. If I think that there’s something really dangerous, I’ll say something. I don’t think it’s too much of a risk to hire one of these candidates, providing we do some proper digging into their pasts. And I know that Charles was paranoid, but… I still think he had a reason to be.”

 

Evan rubs his temple again. “I don’t disagree,” he says honestly. “I just… we’ll take it one day at a time. Let’s just find out if there’s anything that jumps out about these candidates and we’ll take it from there.”

 

Chiv nods and takes the opportunity to leave. Once he’s alone in the office, Evan buries his face in his hands and takes a deep breath. 

 

It’s not that he thought this was going to be easy, but…

 

It might just be a bit harder than he thought. 

 


	6. FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 3rd Annual Woofles Family Fun Day.

When she was little, all Zoe wanted was a puppy.

 

She’d begged and pleaded for a puppy from the ages of five to about twelve, with absolutely no luck. Her mom was allergic, her dad didn’t especially like them, and Connor…

 

Well, Connor backed her up until he was about eleven, albeit half-heartedly, but when things started to get bad between them and all they ever did was yell at each other he wasn’t exactly on her side.

 

It’s been fourteen years since she stopped begging her parents for a puppy.

 

It’s six years since Zoe found out her brother was alive and lost her parents all in one devastating week.

 

She still doesn’t have a dog of her own.

 

But she does own half of Woofles Dog Grooming, Training and Daycare.

 

And not only does she have her brother back, she somehow managed to get herself an extra one as well.

 

She wouldn’t have pictured any of this at twelve.

 

At sixteen, she would have punched someone in the face if they’d told her this was what her future would hold.

 

Zoe definitely wouldn’t have believed it at twenty. Hell, for a while she wasn’t even sure she’d fucking _survive_ twenty.

 

But here she is, twenty-six years old, at the 3rd Annual Woofles Family Fun Day, getting her face painted by Gus and trying not to laugh at his look of utter concentration and the weird tickle of the brush on her face.

 

“Are you going to tell me what you’re painting?” she asks for what’s probably the eighth time.

 

“It’s a surprise,” says Gus, more patiently than Zoe thinks she deserves. He’s in his element, intensely focused on painting, but relaxed and happy and brimming with energy and kind of…

 

Everyone knows that Gus is a positive, happy kind of guy, but there’s this kind of glow around him today and it’s contagious. It makes Zoe feel like the entire sun is shining on her face. It makes her feel safe.

 

Gus has always made her feel safe.

 

“Nearly done,” says Gus, dipping his paintbrush into some water and going in for another color - yellow, it looks like. Yellow like the sun. Zoe feels the tickle of the paintbrush on her face a few more times, then Gus pulls back and smiles. “There. You look at it, and you tell me if you like. If you do not like, I can do another.”

 

Gus hands her a mirror, and Zoe can’t help but grin at the intricate, beautiful butterfly on the side of her face. “It’s perfect,” she says. “I love it so much.”

 

Gus blushes at the praise, and kind of waves his paintbrush awkwardly. “I do not have much practice with the faces,” he says sheepishly. “But I like to paint, and I think that maybe it will be good for the children, yes?”

 

The face painting booth is new this year, and Zoe thinks it’s going to be a hit. They’re still just setting up, but the doors will be open any minute and they’ll have an outdoor area full of kids and dogs and all sorts of fun activities.

 

Family Fun Day was Gus’s idea. He wanted a day where children could come and play with the dogs and have food and play games and be happy.

 

Those were his exact words when he pitched it to Zoe.

 

Gus is just… too good sometimes.

 

Clone Club all wanted to help, of course, but Gus is hesitant about having too many clones in one place. It’s not that he doesn’t like the others - Zoe has heard him talk many times about how the other clones are his family - but he’s not the kind of person who wants to bring attention to the fact that there are potentially hundreds of people out there with his face.

 

Aside from the Woofles staff, they have a couple of extra volunteers on deck. Hannah’s taking care of the cotton candy stand, Connor’s surprisingly good at grilling hotdogs and Evan’s running a kids’ competition which is basically a quiz full of facts about dogs. Sveta and Sofia are around as well - Sveta’s helping Connor at the hotdog stand and Sofia’s looking around kind of anxiously.

 

Zoe’s willing to bet she’s waiting for the Winterbottom triplets.

 

“Sofia!” Zoe calls out. “Do you want Gus to paint your face before the crowd comes?”

 

Sofia’s eyes light up and she comes running. “I want to be a tiger,” she announces. “Can you do that?”

 

“I will do my best,” says Gus seriously, and sets about finding the right color face paints.

 

Zoe had bought a ridiculously fancy face painting set when Gus had first suggested face painting, and it had taken some convincing to get him to accept it, but when Zoe reminded him that it’s for the kids, he’d relented.

 

Gus really, really likes hanging out with kids.

 

Getting to hang out with dogs and kids all afternoon? The guy couldn’t be happier.

 

Pampushka jumps on Zoe’s leg, demanding affection, and Zoe scratches her head for a little while. “Shall we make sure everything’s on track?” she asks the dog. “Shall we make sure we’re ready for Family Fun Day?”

 

“Pampushka will make sure all is ready,” Gus says with a smile. “She is very smart. If ever you and I cannot run Woofles, we can leave the business to Pampushka.”

 

“I don’t doubt she’s smart enough,” Zoe replies, patting the dog’s head, “but how’s she going to do the paperwork?”

 

“Paperwork is overrated,” Gus replies, laughing a little. “And to Pampushka, most delicious.”

 

“Taking ‘the dog ate my homework’ to a whole other level, I see.”

 

Zoe looks up to see Connor approaching. He’s got his hair in a ponytail, is wearing sunglasses and looks almost as happy and relaxed as Gus.

 

Zoe feels something kind of clench in her chest.

 

It’s just…

 

It’s good to see him happy.

 

Not for the first time, she finds herself overwhelmed with gratitude that Connor’s back in her life.

 

Despite everything it cost.

 

She’s spent a lot of time talking things over with her therapist, trying to figure out the cause and effect of it all. It’s taken her a long time to forgive Connor for everything, and there’s a part of her that can’t quite separate her parents’ death from Connor being alive, and…

 

For a long time, she wanted things to go back to the way they were.

 

Alive parents, dead Connor.

 

(Part of her still wants that, and she hates herself for it.)

 

But she can’t change the past.

 

She’s never going to be able to change the past, so thinking about what she’d do if she could…

 

It’s just going to hurt everyone.

 

So here they are.

 

Dead parents, alive Connor.

 

Zoe’s never going to stop missing her parents.

 

Her complicated, messed-up, sometimes not-quite-enough parents.

 

But at least she doesn’t have to miss Connor.

 

They’ve been to therapy together a couple of times over the years. Both times they’ve ended up yelling and crying and feeling completely drained and devastated but it’s helped, weirdly.

 

They’ve had to work at it.

 

Work at having a relationship.

 

But here on a sunny afternoon when he’s standing in front of her in a bright blue Woofles-branded polo shirt that he wouldn’t be caught dead in any other day of the year, smiling softly at his siblings with obvious affection on his face…

 

It doesn’t make what happened hurt any less.

 

But it’s good to see him happy.

 

It’s good to have him here and safe and alive and warm.

 

“You going to get your face painted?” Zoe asks Connor.

 

Connor puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her in for a side hug. “Maybe if there’s time later,” he says diplomatically. “I’m pretty sure that the minute those doors open, there’s going to be a pile of kids wanting some Gus Sadler art on their faces.” He smiles at Sofia. “I see you’re getting in early.”

 

“Can you tell Yvette that I’m getting my face painted if you see her?” Sofia asks. “She said she was coming with her mom and Sally and Claudia.”

 

Zoe’s not quite sure how it all happened, but Lucas and Donna’s triplet nieces who live in Connecticut became very good friends with Sofia somewhere in the past few years. She thinks Gus did some babysitting somewhere along the line and the four of them met. They’re the same age and get along famously, but there’s definitely a stronger bond between Yvette and Sofia than the other two triplets.

 

“Sure,” says Zoe with a smile. “Everything okay on your end, Connor?”

 

“Actually, I wanted to know if there were more napkins somewhere,” he says apologetically. “I could only find the one packet and we’re definitely going to need more.”

 

“They’re in the office,” Zoe replies, fishing in her pockets for her keys and handing them to her brother. “On top of my desk. Just make sure you lock up once you’ve got them? We don’t want anyone getting in there while the whole site is open.”

 

Connor gives a goofy salute, and Zoe laughs, and then he’s off to the main building, and Zoe can see the team from the ASPCA arrive in their van and goes over to welcome them.

 

She has to admit, this is her favorite part of Family Fun Day.

 

After the success of their first ever Family Fun Day, one of the managers of the local ASPCA gave them a call and asked if they would be interested in the ASPCA bringing along some dogs and puppies who are up for adoption to their next event. Gus, of course, was on board and Zoe thought it was a great idea. They managed to get nearly a dozen dogs into new homes at the last Family Fun Day, and Zoe’s hoping they can beat that record this year.

 

Zoe helps the volunteers get set up in a secure area for the animals up for adoption, then makes sure everyone’s ready to open up the site.

 

Once eleven am rolls around, it’s all systems go at Woofles.

 

There’s a crowd of people almost immediately, and Zoe finds herself keeping busy as the afternoon progresses, checking up on all the different parts of the event. As predicted, there’s a line at Gus’s face painting booth, Hannah’s serving ridiculous amounts of cotton candy, there’s a lemonade stand, the hot dogs are selling fast and almost everywhere you look, there are dogs.

 

One of the newer staff members, a recently qualified dog trainer named Carlton, is giving beginner obedience lessons to a group in the corner. There are dog toys all over the place, and plenty of space for everyone to run around. A spirited game of Frisbee is happening under a tree and Pampushka is in the middle of all of it, happily playing with the other dogs like nothing in the world could possibly bother her.

 

Zoe heads over to where Evan’s got a row of kids lined up game show style, each holding a squeaky dog toy.

 

“Okay, here’s the next question. True or false: dogs have twice as many muscles in their ears as humans. And… go!” There’s a cacophony of noise and an animated discussion as to who got there first. Evan looks over, catches Zoe’s eye and smiles. “Let’s get a second opinion - Zoe, who did you see squeak first?”

 

Zoe grins. “Gotta be the yellow team,” she says, and the team with the yellow hats on cheers wildly.

 

Evan claps. “Okay guys, the boss has spoken! Yellow team, let’s hear your answer - true or false?”

 

“True!”

 

“You’re right! That’s 10 points to the yellow team!”

 

He writes the score on the whiteboard he’s got behind him, and Zoe waves as he turns back around. Evan waves back with a smile.

 

It had taken a long, long time for things to be okay between Evan and Zoe.

 

Zoe blamed Evan for the death of her parents for a long, long time. It had taken her a long time to get over the pain and the anger, the hurt and the betrayal, and it hadn’t helped that Evan had just… ignored her.

 

Avoided her.

 

Pretended like she didn’t exist.

 

Zoe knew he wasn’t good at confrontation. When everything went down, he was in no shape to be confronting anyone. They both needed time to heal, to recover, to get their equilibrium back.

 

It had been awkward for a good couple of years, made even more awkward by the fact that Evan and Hannah were such good friends, and Connor and Evan had barely spent any time broken up before getting back together in the aftermath of what happened with DYAD.

 

It wasn’t until the summer of 2024 when Gus and Connor went on a three month long trip to Europe that Evan finally reached out to Zoe.

 

They’d met up for coffee and talked.

 

And realized that even though nothing was going to change what had happened, that there was always going to be this painful history…

 

Their friendship had been important.

 

To both of them.

 

It’s still hard sometimes. One of them will say something that’ll remind the other of something. Anniversaries are still hard. But at the end of the day, what it comes down to is that Evan and Zoe are friends again.

 

More than that.

 

They’re family.

 

Once Connor and Evan get married, they’ll actually be family.

 

Well, kind of.

 

Zoe still doesn’t know what’s going to happen when they get married since Connor Murphy is still legally dead.

 

But that’s not something she needs to be thinking about right now.

 

Instead, she goes over to where Gus is face painting to see if he needs a break. Pampushka has returned to Gus’s side and is sitting at his feet as he carefully paints the face of an adorable little girl with pigtails who looks to be about five or six. There’s a guy about Gus’s age sitting on the ground next to her, and the three of them seem to be deep in conversation.

 

“Sharks are the best,” says the girl enthusiastically, and Zoe can see that Gus is indeed painting her face to look like a shark, which is ridiculous and adorable.

 

“I don’t know why she’s so into sharks,” says the man, clearly amused. “Jaws gave me nightmares for months when I watched it as a kid.”

 

“Sharks are not so scary,” says Gus conversationally. “Will only attack if they are scared. I read somewhere that sometimes, they think when we are jumping in the water that we are a seal! Is funny, yes?”

 

“Did you know that if a shark loses a tooth, it grows back that day?” says the girl, her expression animated. To his credit, Gus doesn’t smudge the painting. He just patiently waits for her to stop moving.

 

“I did not know this,” says Gus enthusiastically. “Is very clever, the shark.”

 

It’s obvious Gus is concentrating on the little girl he’s painting, but Zoe’s more interested in the fact that the man sitting next to her is definitely checking Gus out.

 

“How’s it going?” Zoe says brightly, taking a seat next to Pampushka, who licks her hand happily.

 

“Gus is making me a shark!” says the girl.

 

Gus looks at Zoe and smiles. Then he looks over at the man, and…

 

Zoe’s not seeing things. Gus is definitely blushing.

 

“This is my sister and business partner Zoe,” Gus says. “Zoe, this is Penny, and her dad Steve.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” says Zoe, extending a hand for Steve to shake.

 

“Likewise,” says Steve warmly. “We just moved into the area and saw the signs for the Family Fun Day and… thought it would be fun, right Pen?”

 

“It’s the best day ever!”

 

Gus grins. “I am very glad to hear this. Zoe and I work hard to make best day for all families and dogs.”

 

“How long have you been in business?” Steve asks.

 

Zoe answers, even though it’s clear he’s actually asking Gus. “About five years now. We started small, but we do all sorts of things now. Training, doggy daycare… Gus has actually been grooming dogs for about seven years now, isn’t that right Gus?”

 

“Yes,” says Gus, wiping off his paintbrush to get a new color. “I start business in Wisconsin, but then I move to Boston to be nearer family.”

 

“We moved to be closer to family, too,” says Steve. “My parents live nearby, and my job is remote, so it made sense.”

 

“What do you do for the job?” Gus asks.

 

“I’m a web developer and graphic designer.”

 

Zoe smiles. “I’ve been telling Gus we should work on getting a better web presence. Maybe we can hire you! Gus, you should give Steve your business card.”

 

“They are on my desk,” Gus says, and he’s definitely blushing now.

 

“I’ll go get them for you,” Zoe announces, and gets up and heads back into the building before Gus can protest.

 

Once she’s got the business cards, she heads over to the cotton candy booth to check on Hannah. Hannah’s rolling a truly ridiculous amount of cotton candy onto a stick and presenting it to a gangly teenager. She waves at Zoe as she approaches.

 

Zoe slides in behind the booth next to her and pulls her in for a kiss. “You taste like sugar,” she says as they pull apart. “How much of the cotton candy have you eaten?”

 

“None, actually,” Hannah assures her. “It’s just kind of gotten everywhere.”

 

“Oh, so you’re all sticky, then?” Zoe says in a low voice. “Maybe once we’re done here I could help you clean up.”

 

Hannah turns bright red. “Zo, there are kids here.”

 

Zoe laughs, kisses her again and then steals some cotton candy. “So there’s a hot dad over at the face painting booth who’s totally got his eye on Gus,” she says with a smile.

 

“Oh?”

 

“He seems nice,” Zoe says. “I mean, I didn’t get to talk to him much, but his daughter is adorable and he seems like he’s a good dad.”

 

“Can’t be any worse than Gus’s last boyfriend,” says Hannah, a little bitterly, and they exchange a look.

 

Gus’s last boyfriend was… the fucking worst.

 

Motherfucking asshole Tim.

 

“He’s definitely checking Gus out,” Zoe says confidently. “I know that historically my Bi-Fi hasn’t been great, but I’m calling this one.”

 

“A guy with a kid could be complicated,” Hannah points out, a little hesitantly. “Especially with… you know, with everything.”

 

“Gus loves kids,” Zoe counters. “Any guy would be lucky to have someone as wonderful as Gus.”

 

“I know that,” Hannah replies. “It’s just… it’s not always that easy, you know?”

 

“I know,” Zoe says with a sigh. “I just want him to be happy. To have someone nice.”

 

It’s getting later in the afternoon, and Zoe makes sure to give Steve Gus’s card before they head off. Steve thanks her, then turns to Gus.

 

“You’ve lived here awhile, right?” asks Steve.

 

“For six years now,” Gus confirms with a nod. “I like Boston very much.”

 

“Maybe you could show me the sights sometime,” says Steve. The expression on his face is a little nervous. Zoe definitely admires this guy’s guts.

 

Gus goes absolutely bright pink. “I would like this,” he says, a little awkwardly. “You have my number on business card. If you want, you can call or text. Maybe we can have drinks.”

 

Steve’s face breaks into a smile. “It’s a date. I mean, it’s a plan.”

 

Gus goes even pinker, and Steve’s kind of pink as well, and Penny’s looking between the two of them like they’re completely insane, and Zoe’s just glad that for once in her damn life, her Bi-Fi actually worked.

 

Steve and Penny head off and Gus watches them go.

 

“He seems nice,” says Zoe teasingly.

 

“Very nice,” Gus replies, his voice a little far away. He’s still pink, and is definitely watching Steve’s butt as he walks away.

 

Sure, there’s going to be a decent amount of cleanup to do once everyone goes, but Zoe’s calling the 3rd Annual Woofles Family Fun Day a win.


	7. SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee and meetings.

Hannah’s always considered herself to be a diligent student. She’s not the kind of person to procrastinate, to leave things to the last moment. She makes schedules for when she’s going to do things and she sticks to them. 

 

But today things just aren’t going to plan. 

 

She’s been staring at her laptop screen for the past hour, trying to make sense of her pages and pages of notes, and for some reason, it’s just… not working. 

 

She’s trying not to panic about it. 

 

Hannah knows what Zoe would say. That everyone has off days. That she shouldn’t put too much pressure on herself. That it’s okay to take a break every now and then. That taking a break will let her get back to it fresh later. 

 

But this is a big deal. 

 

A big fucking deal. 

 

She’s working on her Ph.D. thesis, for crying out loud. She’s been studying for years, she should be able to just switch on the part of her brain that does the science and just… get something substantial done. 

 

Hannah sighs, and closes her laptop. Runs her hand through her short hair and ruffles it up a bit. Opens her laptop, closes it again, then takes out her phone and fires off a text. 

 

**To**

**Connor:**

Free for coffee? I need a break. 

 

The response is almost instant. 

 

**From**

**Connor:**

Oh thank fuck 

I’m not the only one

Yes

Definitely yes

Meet you at the usual spot?

 

Hannah smiles. 

 

**To**

**Connor:**

Be there in ten. 

 

If she’s going to procrastinate, she may as well do it with the king of procrastinators. 

 

There’s a cafe that’s exactly halfway between Evan and Connor’s apartment and Zoe and Hannah’s place, and it’s where Connor and Hannah meet for coffee, on a relatively regular basis. 

 

When Hannah first met Zoe, there’s no way she could have predicted becoming such good friends with her dead brother. 

 

It had surprised her, to be perfectly honest, making friends with Connor. Zoe hadn’t talked about him a lot when she thought he was dead, but everything she’d said had been bittersweet and complicated. 

 

She’d talked about how he was an asshole, a drug addict, violent and abusive and angry and mean. But she’d also talked about how when they were little, he’d learned to braid her hair and was always careful to be gentle. 

 

The Connor Hannah knows is a different Connor to the one Zoe grew up with. 

 

She knows that. 

 

The two of them had bonded over their mutual worry about Zoe in the aftermath of what happened at DYAD. She wouldn’t talk to either of them, she’d lashed out at both of them and they’d united in their grief, in their hurt, in their love for her. 

 

(It still makes her heart hurt, thinking about Zoe in the year after DYAD burned down.)

 

Getting back together with Zoe hadn’t been easy. It had been slow. It had taken time for Hannah to trust her again, what with how quickly she’d burned things down between them. 

 

Things are good now. Zoe’s got Woofles and is working on finishing her psychology degree part-time. She’s happy. 

 

And she makes Hannah happy. 

 

And that’s what counts. 

 

When she arrives at the cafe, she sees Connor at the counter. She waves and approaches and Connor pulls her into a hug. “Already ordered for you,” he says before she can say anything, and Hannah sighs and rolls her eyes. 

 

“What is it with you Murphys and refusing to let anyone else pay for coffee?” she grumbles good-naturedly as they find a seat. 

 

“We grew up with rich parents,” Connor says with a shrug. “We’re assholes like that.” He pulls his laptop out of his bag and puts it on the table with a flourish. “Let’s pretend I’m actually going to do some writing.”

 

Hannah looks at him, then pulls her own laptop out of her bag, and Connor smirks at her. 

 

Over the next three hours, she actually gets some work done. She’s so engrossed in what she’s doing that she doesn’t notice Connor keeps getting refills on their coffee until she’s consumed maybe three cups. At some stage, a bagel appears, and she kind of wants to argue but she knows there’s no point. 

 

Zoe would have done the same thing.

 

As Hannah eats her bagel, she watches Connor mess around with a napkin. He’s methodically ripping it up so it forms one long chain of paper. 

 

Zoe does that, too. 

 

Connor and Zoe may not be biologically related, but they’re definitely siblings. 

 

Connor catches Hannah looking at him and raises his eyebrows, then looks down at his napkin and just keeps going. “I have writer’s block,” he announces dramatically.

 

“And you’re going to solve it with a ripped up napkin?”

 

He shrugs. “Stranger things have happened.”

 

An alarm goes off on Hannah’s phone and she checks it to see it’s just gone four. “I’d better head off,” she says, closing her laptop and putting it away. “I’ve got a meeting with Evan at ERAS.”

 

Connor’s face brightens at the mention of Evan. “You’re going to see Evan? Can I come?”

 

“He’ll be done with work in like an hour,” Hannah points out with a roll of her eyes. “You can wait until then.”

 

“No, he’s got a late meeting,” Connor counters. “After he meets with you, he’s got a Skype call with the Los Angeles branch.” He frowns for a moment, then packs up his laptop. “I won’t stay long. I just have to bring him a muffin.” 

 

Hannah chuckles as Connor heads to the counter and orders a muffin and a latte to go for Evan. ERAS isn’t far, so once the coffee’s ready, they start the walk to the office. 

 

It’s warm for the end of September, and almost blindingly sunny. Connor hands Hannah the latte so he can get his sunglasses out of his bag, prompting Hannah to realize she’s forgotten hers and genuinely having to convince Connor that no, he didn’t need to stop and buy Hannah a new pair. 

 

Eventually, Connor gives up, and changes the subject to Zoe and Hannah’s weekend plans. “Zoe said something about us all doing dinner?” he says, a little hesitantly. “Me and Evan, you two. And Gus, obviously.” 

 

“I’ll ask her tonight,” Hannah promises. She laughs a little. “She’s still insufferably smug about Gus’s date tonight.” 

 

Connor frowns a little. “Zoe met this Steve guy at the Family Fun Day, right? And she thinks he’s… okay?”

 

“I mean, she didn’t exactly give him the third degree,” Hannah admits. “But she said he seemed nice.” She looks at Connor. “We both know how protective she is of Gus.” 

 

“We’re all pretty protective of Gus,” says Connor with a nod. “He deserves someone nice. I just don’t want him getting hurt again, you know?” 

 

Hannah nods back. “Yeah, I know.” 

 

Connor’s quiet for a moment. “Is it bad that my gut instinct is that I have to vet this guy to make sure he’s good enough for Gus?”

 

Hannah laughs. “No one’s good enough for Gus.”

 

“True.”

 

“It’s not  _ bad _ ,” Hannah assures him. “I mean, I’d recommend you don’t stake out their date or stalk him or anything. But you wanting to make sure Gus is safe? That’s not a bad thing at all.” 

 

“I guess.” Connor sighs. “Zoe seriously thinks this guy’s okay?” 

 

Hannah nods. “Yeah. And remember, she hated Tim on sight.”

 

Connor’s expression darkens. “Motherfucking asshole  _ Tim _ .” He shakes his head, then the corner of his mouth curves into a smirk. “Zoe did write a really catchy song, though.”

 

Hannah groans. “Oh my god, please don’t remind me. Now I’m going to have it stuck in my head for the rest of the  _ day.” _

 

When they get to ERAS, Connor signs in and gets a visitor pass, then they both head to Evan’s office. Evan’s new personal assistant is there, and she smiles at the sight of them. Hannah doesn’t know her very well, but thinks her name is Teresa. 

 

“Just head on in,” she says brightly. “He’s expecting you. Well, he’s not expecting you, Mr. Murphy, but he is expecting Ms. Weiss, so… I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

 

They head through the door to see Evan working on his laptop, frowning a little. He looks up and his face immediately brightens. “Connor! What are you doing here?” 

 

“Brought you a snack,” says Connor, practically running over to his fiance and handing him the bagged muffin and the latte before kissing him with far more enthusiasm than Hannah really wants to be witness to. 

 

“Hey Evan,” says Hannah when they finally break for air, waving awkwardly. 

 

“As much as I love it that you’re here,” Evan says to Connor apologetically, “I do actually have a super busy afternoon. After this meeting with Hannah I’ve got two more.”

 

“I know,” Connor replies, pouting a little. “That’s why I brought you coffee and a muffin.”

 

“Thank you,” Evan says softly, pulling him in for another kiss. “Now go write. I love you.”

 

Connor wrinkles up his nose. “I was thinking I’d wash the car. I haven’t done that in ages.”

 

Evan sighs. “Write your novel, love. I’ll bring home Mexican after work.”

 

Connor kisses him again, waves to Hannah and leaves the office, shutting the door behind him. Hannah takes a seat in front of Evan’s desk and tries not to feel like she’s been called into the principal’s office. 

 

They stare at each other for a moment, then both burst into nervous laughter. 

 

“This is weird, huh,” says Evan sympathetically. “I feel weird, sitting here like I’m some kind of big-shot corporate director.”

 

“You are a big-shot corporate director.”

 

Evan rolls his eyes. “Well, yeah, temporarily. But I’m still just me. How’s your thesis going?”

 

“I feel like I should be getting more done,” Hannah admits, “but it’s been slow going.”

 

“And the research team from Harvard? How’s that all going?” 

 

Hannah shrugs. “They’re fine. They’re great. It’s just… you know, you start to feel a little bit like an imposter?” 

 

Evan laughs. “I know exactly what you mean, oh my god. I’ve got a meeting with the head of the science department at Harvard next week and I feel like a complete and utter fraud, you have no idea.” He sighs. “I’m only 27 and there are people there who’ve been professors for literal decades. They probably think I’m a toddler.”

 

“How’s the new PA going?” Hannah asks. “She seems… well, she actually seems like she shows up to work, which is a change from the last one.” 

 

There’s something a little troubled on Evan’s face. “She’s good,” Evan assures her. “It’s just…” He trails off, looks at something on his computer, then abruptly changes the subject. “So we wanted to talk today about you starting some work with the neuroscience team, right?”

 

“Is everything okay?” Hannah asks, point blank. Evan looks kind of pale and a little concerned and she’s having flashbacks to when they both worked at DYAD and Evan worked himself ragged and was having panic attacks at the drop of a hat. 

 

That had ended badly. 

 

Really, really badly. 

 

“It’s fine,” Evan says, a little too quickly. “It’s just…” He sighs, then takes a deep breath. “Charles was very particular about not hiring people with DYAD backgrounds unless he knew them personally and could vet that they were the kind of people we want for certain levels of security. Teresa used to the personal assistant for the DYAD director in Los Angeles.”

 

Hannah frowns. “Okay. Chiv did a full background check though, right?” 

 

“Of course,” Evan says. “Of course he did. And she’s great. She’s really great, I’m just… I don’t know, I’m worrying about nothing, probably, but I’m… second-guessing myself?” He runs his hand through his hair. “She’s done nothing to give me any reason to doubt her, I swear, I’m just… ugh.”

 

“I think you kind of need a healthy dose of paranoia doing the job you do,” Hannah says gently. “Just don’t let it consume you.”

 

Evan laughs, utterly humorlessly. “It’s barely been two months since Beanpole left and I’m already looking forward to going back to my normal job. Back to some actual science rather than… paranoia and paperwork.”

 

Hannah takes a steadying breath. “You still seeing your therapist?” she asks gently. 

 

“Yes,” Evan assures her. “And I’ve still got my anti-anxiety meds. I’m fine, really, I’m just… I’m afraid this whole place is going to come crashing down and it’ll be my fault.”

 

Hannah’s about to tell him that’s not going to happen but she doesn’t get the chance. 

 

Because right at that moment, there’s a deafening noise. 

 

The entire building shakes. 

 

And the ground gives way underneath them.    
  



	8. SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gus has a date.

Gus spends the day of his date with Steve most nervous. He feels like he has had too much coffee and is a little bit shaky, but he is also very much looking forward to the date. 

 

The day is going very slowly. 

 

He was not expecting to get a call from Steve the day after Family Fun Day, but that is what happens. They talked for some time about how it was a very nice day, how Penny liked her shark face paint very much, and how Steve thinks that Boston is a very nice place to live and is very glad he and Penny have moved here. 

 

They talked a little bit about a website, but mostly they talked of other things. 

 

Steve is very easy to talk to, Gus thinks. 

 

Gus does not notice because Steve’s English is very good, but Steve tells him that English is not his first language. He is speaking Korean before he learns English and moves to the United States when he is five years old. His parents speak only Korean at home and have had to learn English as adults, which Gus can understand is most difficult. 

 

It has been many years that Gus only speaks English, except when he is talking to Sveta and Sofia. He is still not perfect, but he thinks he is much better. Even so, sometimes he is having trouble. When there are words that Gus does not understand, Steve is very quick to explain in a way that is easy to understand and also very direct, which Gus likes very much. 

 

Steve is better at explaining words that Connor, Gus thinks but will never say to his twin. He knows it is because Steve truly understands that speaking two languages is confusing, whereas Connor only speaks English. 

 

(Connor still tries to learn Ukrainian and is still very bad. Zoe tries to learn some also, and is equally as bad. Hannah and Evan also both try to learn Ukrainian, and for them, it is a lot easier - they can have a basic conversation with Gus in Ukrainian and they are good at making the words sound right. This makes Zoe and Connor very frustrated, and Gus tries not to let them see that he thinks this is very funny.)

 

Gus thinks he might try to learn some Korean, one day. He likes languages and thinks they are interesting, even though they can be most frustrating. He knows that Reed’s partner Chiv is also Korean. Sometimes he thinks he might ask Chiv to help him learn Korean, but he is wary. 

 

He does not want Steve to know he is a clone. 

 

Not yet. 

 

Maybe not for a long time. 

 

Gus knows that people are knowing about the clones now, that it is not a secret. Still, he does not like to talk of clones with anyone. 

 

It makes him think of the clones he murdered. 

 

It makes him remember that he was a monster once. 

 

He has never told anyone who did not already know that he was a clone. Gus was with Joe for nearly three years but did not tell him of the clones. Joe met Connor, so knew he had a twin, but Gus was careful for Joe not to meet other clones. He did meet Reed one time, but Reed is almost an exception because they are looking so different to the others with their fashion, hair and makeup. 

 

Gus lies to Joe and says that Reed is cousin. 

 

He does not think Joe really believes this, but Joe does not say anything, and they do not speak of this. 

 

Joe did not meet the other clones. He did not meet Beanpole or Lucas or Torpedo. 

 

Three years, and he did not meet them. 

 

Zoe said this is strange, that Joe deserved to know of Gus’s family, but Gus was afraid. 

 

Gus does not want to explain the clones to someone he is caring about. 

 

Because then he will have to explain what he did. 

 

And it will be the end. 

 

Gus cannot expect someone to forgive him for his past when he is not sure he has forgiven himself. 

 

He feels comfortable talking to Steve, and Steve is most direct with his feelings. They are speaking very often, and Steve says that he would like to take Gus out to dinner, that he is liking him very much and would like to see how things go. 

 

When Gus first meets Steve, he is somewhat confused because Steve has Penny, and Penny looks just like him, so this must mean that Steve likes women and has had a baby with a woman. But Steve is also asking for his number and is blushing and it seems that he is liking Gus. 

 

He talks to Zoe and Hannah of this. Zoe reminds him that it is possible to like both men and women - this is how Zoe is, and also Evan. Hannah also says that there are men who can have babies, so this is another thing to consider. 

 

Gus is not sure how to ask this, so he does not. During one of their phone calls, Steve mentions that Penny’s mother died when she is born and that she is not knowing her, which Gus thinks is very sad. He tells Steve that he is adopted, and is finding his birth father and twin brother when he is a teenager, but that his birth mother is also dead when he is very small. 

 

This is the story he is telling people to explain his Dad and Connor. 

 

Gus likes Steve very much. 

 

He likes that Steve is kind. That Steve has had hardship in his life, but that it has made him kind. 

 

Gus knows this is not always so. That sometimes people have hard lives and this makes them bitter, makes them hard also. 

 

Gus always tries to be kind, even though there is much pain in his past. 

 

He thinks Steve is the same. 

 

He likes this very, very much. 

 

It has just been a month, and only phone calls, but he is feeling that he has a connection with Steve. 

 

Gus hopes that when he has dinner with Steve tonight, he can still feel this connection. 

 

He thinks it could be very good. 

 

He thinks Steve is very handsome and very kind and very funny and very patient, and he likes him very much. 

 

Gus and Zoe are closing Woofles for the day when Zoe’s phone rings. She answers it, and Gus sees the moment that her face goes very, very pale. 

 

Something cold creeps up his back. 

 

Zoe’s eyes well up with tears, and Gus knows that something is very, very wrong. She is asking questions, and Gus is having a hard time processing them, because his heart is beating very fast, and he is feeling very afraid, because… 

 

He can feel it. 

 

He can feel that something is very, very wrong. 

 

Pampushka rubs against Zoe’s leg and Zoe does not seem to notice. She tells the person on the phone that she is on her way, then she bursts into tears as she ends the call. 

 

“It’s Hannah,” she says through tears. “She’s in hospital. ERAS… it blew up. The building exploded, they… she’s alive but…” 

 

“ERAS blew up?” Gus repeats, feeling the fear take hold of his stomach. “Is Evan safe? Reed and Chiv?” 

 

Zoe just shakes her head. “I don’t know, I don’t… I have to get to the hospital.”

 

“I will drive you,” Gus says immediately, and guides her out of the building into his van, making sure to lock the door behind them. 

 

He drives faster than he should and makes it to the hospital to find it is very, very busy. There are many ambulances, and Gus feels sick because he knows there are many people who work at ERAS. 

 

If it is blown up, this could mean there are many people injured. 

 

This could mean that people are dead. 

 

Zoe rushes to the desk and demands news about Hannah. The nurse is sympathetic but firm and tells her that Hannah is in intensive care, and tells her where the best place to wait is, and Zoe is crying and yelling and Gus guides her to a chair and Pampushka rests her head on Zoe’s knees and Zoe sobs for a very long time. Gus holds her tightly and tries not to cry himself. 

 

His head is spinning with thoughts and worries and concerns. 

 

After some time, Zoe’s head snaps up. “Evan,” she chokes out. “Evan and Reed and Chiv. We… can you ask if…” She bursts into tears again, and Gus nods. 

 

He goes to see the nurse. 

 

“We have other friends who work at ERAS,” he says to her, as politely as he can. “We do not know if they are okay. If I give you names, can you tell me if they are here?” 

 

The nurse hesitates but then nods. “What are the names?”

 

“Evan Hansen, Reed Albrecht, Chiv Yu.”

 

There is some confusion with Gus’s accent, so he writes the names on paper for the nurse, and the nurse looks in her computer then shakes her head. “They haven’t been admitted,” she says. “It doesn’t mean they won’t be. I’ll keep an eye out for you. There are…” she trails off, blinks and continues. “There are a lot of very injured people being admitted from the ERAS center.”

 

Gus wipes his eyes. He did not realize he was crying. “People are dying, yes? There are people who did not survive?”

 

The nurse nods gravely. “It’s hard to tell right now. Just because your friends haven’t been admitted doesn’t necessarily mean they’re dead.” She smiles, but it does not reach her eyes. “Don’t give up hope just yet.”

 

Gus goes to Zoe and tells her what the nurse said. She bursts into fresh sobs. “We need to call Connor,” she says firmly. “And Seamus and Heidi. Can you… can you do that?”

 

Gus nods. 

 

He finds a quiet place and he makes the calls. 

 

He feels like he is like a machine or a puppet right now, that he is doing things but not really here. 

 

Pampushka stays with Zoe, which Gus is glad of, but he wishes she were here with him as he makes the difficult calls. 

 

First, he is calling his dad. He explains things as quickly as he can and his dad immediately tells him he will find out what is happening, he will get more information, he will talk to Heidi and they will find where Evan is. The conversation is short and to the point, but Dad is sure to tell Gus that he loves him and asks about Connor. When Gus says he has yet to call Connor, his dad tells him he loves him again. To tell Connor that he loves him. 

 

“You’re strong,” says Dad, his voice thick with tears. “You’re all strong. We’re going to get through this.”

 

Gus nods, even though he knows Dad can’t see him. 

 

When the call is over, he looks at his phone for a long moment. 

 

He finds the contact for Connor. 

 

It is hard to press the call button, but he does it. 

 

Connor answers after a few rings, sounding cheerful but distracted. 

 

“Hey Gus, you all ready for your big date tonight?” Connor says brightly. “What’s up?”

 

“It is ERAS,” Gus manages to choke out. “There is explosion.”

 

There is silence. 

 

“What?” 

 

Connor’s voice is weak and shaky. Gus does not like it. 

 

“I am with Zoe at hospital,” Gus explains further. “She gets a call. Hannah is here. She is in ICU. There are many, many people who are injured during explosion.”

 

“Where’s Evan?” Connor asks urgently. “He was with Hannah. They were both there in his office. They should… is he…”

 

“I don’t know,” Gus says, trying not to cry more. “I don’t know where he is. He is not at hospital, I am asking this. They tell me there are many people, that there are many injured. I do not know about Reed or Chiv either.”

 

“I’m going down there,” Connor says firmly. “I’m going to ERAS and I’m finding out what the fuck is going on.”

 

“Dad is finding out,” Gus says. “He is finding out. He thinks there will be many people there, it will be chaos. He will find out. You know he has ways to find things.”

 

“I’ll call him,” Connor says, his voice shaking. “I have to find out what happened, I…” 

 

“I do not want you to be alone,” says Gus. “Come to hospital. Stay with us. Zoe is… she is very scared.”

 

There is silence for a while. “Okay,” Connor says finally. “I’ll call Dad. I’ll call Reed. I’ll call Chiv. I’ll call until someone can give me some kind of fucking idea of what’s going on. And then I’ll come to the hospital. Okay?” 

 

“Thank you,” Gus says, feeling a little more calm. 

 

Connor laughs without humor. “Fucking hell. You have a date.”

 

“I do not leave Zoe,” Gus says firmly. “Steve will understand.”

 

“Why is it that all the clone bullshit shows up whenever you’ve got a date?” Connor asks. 

 

“I am not sure,” Gus replies. 

 

The call ends, and Gus stares at his phone again. 

 

Then calls Steve before he can change his mind. 

 

Steve answers after one ring. 

 

“Hey Gus, how’s it going?” 

 

Gus takes a deep breath to steady himself. He does not want to cry on this call. “I have family emergency,” he says, trying to sound steady. “I am very sorry. We can reschedule for tonight, yes?”

 

“Of course,” says Steve immediately. He sounds worried. “What happened? Are you okay?” 

 

“I have family who works at ERAS,” he says, still trying very hard to make his voice steady. It still wobbles. “There is explosion. Zoe’s Hannah is in the intensive care, and we do not know if my brother’s fiancé is okay. Many people are injured, they think some people are dead… I cannot leave Zoe. I am sorry to cancel on you.”

 

“Do you need anything?” Steve asks, sounding very worried. “Can I get you guys anything? Penny’s with my parents tonight. If you need me, I can be there.”

 

“You do not have to do that,” Gus replies immediately. 

 

“I want to,” Steve insists. “What hospital are you at?”

 

Gus wants to insist that Steve does not need to come, but finds himself giving the name of the hospital. He is starting to feel panic, and finding it hard to breathe. 

 

Steve seems to notice. “Gus. Hey. It’s going to be okay,” Steve says, his voice calm. “I’m going to grab you guys some food. You’ll probably be waiting around for a while, so I’ll get some food, and maybe some crossword puzzles or something. Does that sound okay?”

 

Gus still feels like he should tell Steve that he does not need to come. 

 

That this is family problems, and that he is only knowing Steve for a month. 

 

That they have not even had a first date yet. 

 

But he is scared. 

 

He is scared, but he must not show it, because he must be strong for Zoe and Hannah and Connor and Evan. 

 

Maybe he does not need to be strong alone. 

 

“Okay,” he relents. “Thank you.” 

 

Steve’s voice is soft. “It’s not a problem. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 

The call ends, and Gus puts his phone in his pocket. 

 

He gives himself a few moments to make his breathing normal. 

 

To wipe his eyes. 

 

He must be strong for Zoe. 

 

He takes another deep breath and goes to find his sister. 


	9. EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

Reed works hard. They  _ know _ they work hard. So does Chiv, so does Rita. The three of them have different professions, even though Chiv and Reed technically work in the same company, but they’re all passionate about what they do - Reed in his research, Chiv as ERAS Head of Security and Rita as an early childhood educator. 

 

All three of them work hard, so every now and then they’re entitled to a break, right? 

 

In hindsight, Reed can’t tell whether it was the worst or best luck that they and Chiv took the afternoon off and weren’t at the Boston ERAS Center when it exploded. 

 

The moment it happened, Chiv got an emergency alert on his work phone, which was a rare enough occurrence to have all three of them concerned. Reed remembers very vividly how Chiv grabbed his phone, turned paler than they’d ever seen him and scrambled out of bed to put on his clothes. 

 

“It’s ERAS,” he says as he frantically redresses. “There’s been an explosion in the basement lab. A big one. It’s affected the whole building, they’re reporting casualties and injuries and…” Chiv takes a deep breath, wipes his face and throws on a t-shirt. “I have to get down there. Now.”

 

“We’re coming with you,” says Rita, and there’s no way either of them are going to argue with that tone of voice. She grabs her panties from on top of the bedside lamp then fumbles around trying to find her bra and Reed’s hurrying to get fully clothed as well and this whole situation where they’re all trying to put on their clothes as fast as possible would be kind of hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that people Reed cares about were in that building when it blew up. 

 

When they get to the ERAS Centre, the place is crawling with police and firefighters and ambulances, and Chiv fights his way to the front as there’s a crowd forming. Before the policeman at the scene says anything, Chiv shows his ERAS identification. “I’m Head of Security,” he says firmly. “Tell me what’s going on.”

 

“Explosion happened around 4.30,” the police officer says, his voice low and clear. “The building… it isn’t stable, it’s still falling. We’re getting people out as fast as we can. There are a lot of injuries. I’m glad you’re here, I need information on how many people we need to evacuate. How many people should be in the building.”

 

Chiv turns to Reed and Rita, and Reed can tell that he’s barely keeping it together. Reed takes his arm and squeezes it gently, and Chiv relaxes. “Okay. This is what I know.”

 

The next two hours go by in a haze of finding information, the building continuing to crumble before them and an almost never-ending line of ambulances filling up with injured people and heading to the hospital. Reed feels a chill go down their back as they see Hannah’s battered form on a stretcher. She’s deadly still and looks smaller than they’ve ever seen her before and they have to let Zoe know, they have to call, they…

 

They didn’t bring their phone. 

 

They rush to the ambulance Hannah’s going into. “Her next-of-kin is her girlfriend Zoe Murphy,” they tell the ambulance in a hurry. “Her number should be in Hannah’s phone which should be in her pocket. Please call her. She needs to know.”

 

“What’s her name?” the paramedic asks, her voice calm. 

 

“Hannah Weiss. She’s a Ph.D. student at Harvard who works with us here as part of her thesis.”

 

The paramedic’s eyes widen. “Hannah Weiss? She worked on the cure for the Phanes clones. I read about it - she’s incredible.”

 

“She is,” Reed agrees. “Look after her, okay?” 

 

“Of course.”

 

Reed watches the ambulance go and feels a hand around their waist. They look down to see Rita, her expression somber. 

 

“She’ll be okay,” Rita says soothingly. “Hannah’s tough. You know she is.” 

 

“She was meeting with Evan today,” Reed says, starting to feel increasingly uneasy. “She was… she was meeting with Evan, she and Evan should have been in the same place.” 

 

The two exchange a look. Rita takes their hand and goes over to the firefighter at the front of the building. 

 

“The blonde woman you just put in an ambulance,” Rita says firmly before the firefighter can tell her to fuck off. “There should have been a man in the same room. Dark blond hair, kind of tan, freckles.” 

 

The firefighter shakes his head. “We found her in the foyer.” He hesitates. “It looked like she might have been moved, that something fell on her. But there wasn’t anyone else alive in the foyer.”

 

“What do you mean ‘anyone else alive?’” Reed demands. 

 

The firefighter looks troubled. “There was a receptionist. She was dead when we found her.”

 

Reed remembers Lila at reception vividly. They feel sick. “Lila just got back from maternity leave,” they say, feeling like they’re going to be sick. “She and her wife had just had their first kid.”

 

Rita takes Reed’s hand and holds it tightly. “I’m so sorry, love.”

 

“No other dead bodies nearby?” Reed asks. Demands. 

 

Evan’s not dead. 

 

Evan can’t be dead. 

 

The firefighter shakes his head, and Reed lets Rita guide them away to find a spot to sit on a bench across the road. 

 

They’re shaking. 

 

They sit there for what feels like hours, Rita rubbing their back soothingly and kissing their cheek. It’s starting to get cold. 

 

“There’s nothing we can do,” Rita says quietly. “Chiv’s busy with the emergency services. He… he doesn’t want us to get hurt. It’s pretty dangerous, having a science research center explode.” 

 

Reed nods. “I know. I… I need to call Connor, he needs to know about this.” They sigh. “I forgot my phone.”

 

Rita pulls hers out of her pocket. “I’ve got mine,” she says. “Let me check to make sure I have his number.” 

 

While she’s going through her phone, Reed looks at the building. It’s not on fire anymore but it’s a mess. An absolute mess. A pile of rubble. 

 

It makes them think of last time. 

 

Of when DYAD burned. 

 

This time, they’re on the other side. 

 

And they fucking hate it. 

 

“Reed!”

 

Reed looks in the direction the sound is coming from and sees Seamus running toward him, Heidi not far behind him. 

 

“Reed, are you okay?” 

 

“I’m fine,” Reed assures them. “I wasn’t in the building when it… when it happened.”

 

“What happened?” Seamus demands. “Is everyone okay?” 

 

Reed’s trying to keep it together. They really are. 

 

Bursting into tears is not what they want to be doing. 

 

Rita puts her arm around them and pulls them close and explains to Heidi and Seamus in a low voice everything they know. 

 

Heidi looks terrified. “They haven’t found Evan?” she asks urgently. “They haven’t found my son?” 

 

“There’s a lot of damage,” Rita says, her voice a little shaky. “There’s a lot of damage, and they’re going as quickly but as carefully as they can to get people out. But they haven’t found him yet, so we don’t know how he is. We just don’t know.” She rubs Reed’s back again. “There have been casualties.”

 

“Hannah’s gone to the hospital,” Reed says. 

 

“We know,” Seamus replies. “Gus called us. He and Zoe are at the hospital. Hannah’s in intensive care.”

 

“I need to call Connor,” Reed says. 

 

“Gus is calling him,” Seamus says. Then his phone rings, and he pulls it out of his pocket. “That’s Connor now.” 

 

As Seamus fills Connor in on what’s been happening, Heidi sits down next to Seamus and takes in a shaky breath. Once Seamus is done talking to Connor, he kisses Heidi then goes back toward the ERAS building, saying he’s going to find out more. 

 

“Go with him,” Reed says to Rita. “Check on Chiv, he’s probably freaking out.”

 

“You sure you’re okay?” Rita asks, frowning. 

 

“I’ll stay here with Heidi,” they assure her. “Go.”

 

Moments later, it’s just Reed and Heidi, sitting on a bench across the road from the rubble of the ERAS building. Heidi lets out a hollow laugh. 

 

“This brings back memories,” Heidi says, her voice bitter. “Memories I was hoping to forget.” She sighs. “It’s never over, is it.”

 

“We still don’t know what caused the explosion,” Reed offers, their voice a little weak. “It could have been an experiment gone wrong - this is a science research facility.”

 

They don’t say that ERAS has ridiculous amounts of fail-safes in place. That Chiv takes security and safety incredibly seriously. 

 

That it’s very likely this is sabotage. And if it was sabotage, it was probably an inside job. 

 

Meaning that someone at ERAS might not have their best interests at heart. 

 

Someone at ERAS might have been playing a long game since they burned down DYAD. 

 

And that’s enough to make Reed sick with fear. 

 

* * *

 

Connor doesn’t think he’s capable of driving right now. He’s so on edge that he knows he can’t focus. The ERAS Center is about a five-minute drive from their apartment, making it about a twenty-minute walk. 

 

He gets there in ten minutes, out of breath but too terrified to care, and seeing the building from across the street almost makes him throw up. 

 

It’s bad. 

 

It’s really, really fucking bad. 

 

And Evan might still be in there. 

 

He’s about to run across the road when someone practically grabs him, and he turns to realize that it’s Heidi, and she’s crying, and Connor pulls her into a dazed hug. 

 

Then he sees Reed. 

 

“Oh thank fuck,” he breathes out, then lets go of Heidi and grabs onto Reed for dear life. “Were you there? When it exploded?”

 

Reed shakes their head. “The three of us were at home. Took the afternoon off. We came as soon as we heard.” They gesture to the building. “Chiv’s in there, doing what he needs to do as Head of Security.”

 

“What’s happening?” Connor demands. “What can we do?”

 

He’ll dig through the rubble himself if he has to. 

 

“They’re only letting trained personnel in there,” Rita says. Connor hadn’t even noticed she was there. “Given everything that goes on in ERAS… they’re worried that if they’re not careful, they could set off another explosion.” 

 

Connor’s about to argue when he sees Seamus coming toward them, his expression grave. When he sees Connor he breaks into a jog. 

 

“No sign of Evan yet,” says Seamus the minute he’s in earshot. “But it could be some time. They have to be very careful going through the rubble. We can’t help.” He looks at Connor sadly. “I asked.” 

 

“Hannah’s in the hospital,” Connor says, a little weakly. “Zoe’s there. Gus says she’s freaking out.”

 

“Chiv’s going to call us the minute he hears anything,” Seamus says firmly. “The second he hears anything. The chances are that when they do find Evan, they’ll be taking him to the hospital straight away.”

 

“So let’s go there,” Rita says, her voice steady. “Connor, you go with Seamus and Heidi and head straight there. Reed and I will stop by home, get Reed’s phone to make sure we can all stay in touch. I’ll also grab some food on the way - it could be a long night.”

 

Connor lets his dad guide him toward their car, which is parked a few blocks away. They get to the hospital in record time and Connor immediately texts Gus, who finds them in the lobby and brings them to the waiting room where Zoe’s sitting with Pampushka at her side, sobbing in a way that makes Connor’s heart hurt. 

 

When Zoe sees him, she stands up and grabs him into a tight hug. 

 

They stand and hold each other for a very long time. 

 

“Did you hear anything about Evan?” she asks, and Connor shakes his head. 

 

“How’s Hannah?” he asks, and Zoe bursts into fresh tears. 

 

It feels like a long time before Connor manages to get Zoe to sit down. She rests her head on his shoulder and he pulls her closer and sternly tells himself that it’s not the time to lose it. 

 

That just because they haven’t heard about Evan doesn’t mean he’s dead. 

 

_ But he and Hannah were in the same room when I left,  _ he thinks to himself.  _ And if they found Hannah and not Evan… what does that mean? _

 

“Rita’s picking up food,” Heidi says, sitting on Zoe’s other side and holding her hand. “We need to keep up our strength.”

 

“Gus?” 

 

Connor looks to see a tall, good-looking Korean man carrying what looks like a cooler heading toward Gus. He pulls Gus into a firm hug and Gus hugs him back and it suddenly clicks that this must be Steve. 

 

“I brought stuff for sandwiches,” says Steve, a little awkwardly. He waves at the group. “I figured you’d be here for a while so might want something that wasn’t just straight fast food.”

 

Seamus is looking at this guy a little warily, and Gus goes a little pale. “This is Steve,” he says to the group. “We meet at Family Fun Day. Steve, this is my sister Zoe, and my twin brother Connor, and my dad Seamus and his partner Heidi.” 

 

Seamus stands up and shakes Steve’s hand firmly, and despite the fact that Steve’s a good four inches taller than Seamus, he looks like he’s intimidated. Still, he stands his ground. “Nice to meet you,” he says. 

 

“I think some food is a mighty fine idea,” Seamus says after a moment. “It’s very kind of you, Steve.” 

 

“If I can’t take Gus out for dinner, at least I can bring dinner to him,” he says, smiling a little. He puts down the cooler and starts pulling out loaves of bread and sandwich fillings and Connor has to admit, it’s kind of adorable. He’s even got cutlery and plates and almost everything you’d need for a picnic. It’s all very nice and practical and Connor thinks that this guy might be so bad after all. 

 

He feels a buzz from his phone and has a look to realize he’s got a whole lot of messages. 

 

**From**

**Lucas:**

Saw what happened at ERAS on the news. We’re on our way. 

 

**From**

**Torpedo:**

Are Evan and Hannah and Reed okay? Mom and I are heading to you. 

 

**From**

**Dylan:**

Hey Connor, it’s Dylan. Saw about ERAS in Boston on the news and remembered you said Evan works there? Is everything okay? Do you need anything? I can come down to Boston later in the weekend if there’s anything I can do. 

 

Connor fires off replies in a bit of a daze. 

 

Gus hands him a chicken sandwich and a glass of apple juice. 

 

The two of them sit cross-legged on the waiting room floor. 

 

“So this is Steve,” says Connor, gesturing to the man who’s steadily making sandwiches and handing them out. “He’s nice.”

 

“Yes,” says Gus faintly. “He is very nice man.”

 

“He must really like you to do all this for a bunch of people he doesn’t know.”

 

“He is kind person,” Gus says, going a little pink. Then he looks at Connor and pulls him into an awkward hug. “Is going to be okay,” he says quietly. “Hannah is strong. Evan is strong.” There is a pause, then Gus’s voice lowers. “We find out who did this and we stop them.” 

 

Connor doesn’t know what to say, so he just nods. 

 

Almost an hour goes by before Rita and Reed show up at the hospital. They’ve all eaten sandwiches and are sitting in the waiting area anxiously. Connor’s next to Zoe, who looks exhausted and bursts into tears at semi-regular intervals. Heidi and Seamus are next to them. Seamus is checking his phone nearly every minute and Heidi is growing paler and paler. Gus and Steve are a few seats down, having a quiet conversation. 

 

Connor can see they’re holding hands. 

 

Connor can see Gus go a little pale at the sight of Reed and realizes, with some dismay, that Gus probably hasn’t told Steve about the clones. 

 

Gus doesn’t tell people about the clones. 

 

He was with Joe for 3 years, and he told Joe that Reed was a cousin. 

 

Connor assumes this is what they’ll be going with this time around. 

 

Steve’s eyes widen as he spots Reed, who goes straight to Zoe and pulls her into a tight hug. Gus stands up and Steve stands with him. Connor stands up as well, just to make sure that everything’s okay. 

 

“This is Rita,” Gus says by way of introduction. Rita waves. “And this is our cousin Reed.” 

 

Reed looks a little taken aback, but extends a hand for Steve to shake, which Steve takes, frowning a little. 

 

“Hell of a family resemblance,” he says. 

 

Reed laughs weakly. “We get that a lot.”

 

“Connor?”

 

Connor looks down the hallway to see Lucas and Donna walking toward them. They start moving faster as they see them, both looking extremely concerned. Donna hugs Connor the moment she sees him and Connor would usually hug her back but he’s hyper-aware of the fact that there are now four of them with the same face in the same room. 

 

He pulls away and sees that Steve is openly staring at Lucas. 

 

Steve looks at Lucas, then at Reed and Connor, then back at Gus. 

 

Gus’s face is ashen. 

 

Something shifts in Steve’s expression. 

 

“Phanes,” he says. “You’re the Phanes clones.” 

 

Gus’s expression shifts to one of pure terror. 

 

Before anyone can say anything, Gus turns and starts walking toward the exit, Pampushka hot on his heels. 


	10. NINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee. Ice cream.

Zoe watches as Gus practically runs away, feeling even more helpless than before. 

 

The look on his face… 

 

Connor looks at Zoe, then breaks into a sprint and heads off after Gus. 

 

The tension is so thick you can practically taste it. 

 

“I’m sorry,” says Steve quietly. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to upset him, I…” 

 

“It’s not a secret,” Reed says after a moment. “DYAD and human cloning… it hasn’t been a secret for six years. But Gus doesn’t like to talk about it.”

 

“Being a clone hasn’t been easy for Gus,” says Seamus, his tone gentle but still warning.

 

“It must be overwhelming,” says Steve, his tone sympathetic. He looks at Seamus, expression a little lost. “It doesn’t… Gus being a clone doesn’t change anything.” He frowns. “Should I go after them?” 

 

“He’ll come back when he’s ready,” says Reed, their tone matter-of-fact. “It’s been a stressful night.” 

 

Steve sighs. “Yeah.” He frowns again, then looks around the group. “I can go get coffee if anyone wants one?” 

 

“That sounds great,” says Heidi. “I’ll come with you.” 

 

Heidi and Steve head off, talking quietly, and Reed sits down next to Zoe and pulls her into a hug, which she accepts gratefully. 

 

Her brain just… 

 

It can’t process what’s happened. 

 

It can’t process that Hannah’s in intensive care, that she’s hurt, that somewhere she was supposed to be safe ended up hurting her…

 

“How did this happen?” she asks Reed, point blank. “How the  _ fuck _ did this happen?”

 

“I don’t know,” Reed replies, their voice honest and raw. “But we’re going to find out.” They look at Seamus, their expression grim. “I’m… the fact that we don’t know where Evan is? It’s not good. He was with Hannah during the explosion. If they found her, they should have found him, too.” 

 

Seamus is pale. “You don’t think this was an accident, don’t you.”

 

Reed hesitates, then shakes his head. “No, it wasn’t an accident.”

 

“You think it’s DYAD?” Zoe asks, feeling her heart start racing. “You think they did this?”

 

DYAD. 

 

The organization that’s haunted her nightmares for years. 

 

DYAD got her parents killed. 

 

Tortured her brothers. 

 

Somehow, she’s always known they weren’t really gone. 

 

This time it’s going to be different. Because Zoe Murphy is ready for whatever the fuck the DYAD Institute has to throw at her. 

 

She knows how to fight. She knows how to shoot. She’s got more money than she knows what to do with and she can use it to get to the bottom of this if she needs to. 

 

Anger boils up in her stomach. 

 

“Whoever did this,” Zoe says determinedly when Reed doesn’t respond, “is going to be very fucking sorry they messed with my family again.”

 

“We’re going to find out who did this,” says Reed, their voice equally determined. “We’re going to find out what happened, and we’re going to make sure it never happens again.”

 

“Do you think it was an inside job?” Seamus asks, narrowing his eyes. “That there was someone in ERAS who’s been playing double-agent all this time?”

 

“I don’t think we can rule that possibility out,” Reed replies. 

 

Seamus is still pale but he’s starting to look as angry as Zoe feels. “I should have known,” he says, almost to himself. “DYAD went down too easily. You don’t just abandon over twenty years of research without more of a fight. I’ve been waiting for them to strike back for years.” He looks disgusted with himself. “They’ve been playing a long game. I got complacent.”

 

“This isn’t your responsibility,” says Zoe firmly. “This isn’t anywhere near your fault.”

 

Seamus grits his teeth, but doesn’t reply. 

 

“Any news about Hannah?” asks Donna. Zoe starts a little, having almost forgotten she was there. Zoe shakes her head, and Donna sighs. “I’m so sorry this has happened, Zoe.” 

 

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages,” Zoe says, for lack of anything better to say. “How have you guys been?”

 

Donna and Lucas take the seats across from them and hold hands. “Well,” says Lucas, a little hesitant, “I’m thinking of going back to college to study sports nutrition.”

 

Zoe blinks. 

 

That’s… new. 

 

The whole time Zoe’s known Lucas, he’s been boring. It’s not kind, she knows, but he’s just boring. Also kind of an asshole, but mostly boring. He works as a financial advisor and every single time he’s tried to talk about his job (which he doesn’t do often, admittedly) Zoe’s been bored to tears. 

 

Connor had said something about Lucas playing soccer as a teenager and being really good at it, though. As in, good enough to make some kind of national team. 

 

So maybe this isn’t super unusual. 

 

“So you’ve finally realized that being a financial advisor is really fucking boring?” Reed says, their tone innocent but a smile curling at the edge of their mouth. 

 

“Oh please,” says Donna with a roll of her eyes. “He knew that before he even started the job.” She squeezes Lucas’s hand. “But this one wanted to make the parents happy, so he’s stuck with it for way longer than he should have.” She smiles. “I think sports nutrition is a great idea.” 

 

“I’m still thinking about it,” Lucas replies almost instantly. “Weighing up the pros and cons. And of course, it depends if we can actually…”

 

He trails off, and he and Donna exchange a look. 

 

“You were thinking about kids, weren’t you?” Rita asks. 

 

Donna bites her lip. “We, uh, we were talking with Evan,” she says, and Zoe feels a sharp pain in her chest at her friend’s name. “There, uh…”

 

“There aren’t any recorded instances of clones reproducing,” Reed says, their voice low. “We’ve done some tests and it looks like Lucas might not be able to. At least not easily.”

 

Zoe snorts. “Reed, you and Evan and Hannah cured a fatal disease when you were only twenty. I’m sure between the three of you, you can figure out how to make Donna and Lucas a baby.”

 

It’s only once she’s said the words that she realizes what she’s said. 

 

The three of them. 

 

Hannah’s in intensive care. 

 

No one knows where Evan is. 

 

The three of them may never work together again. 

 

She bursts into angry tears, and Reed looks devastated, and Rita puts her arm around her and says something soothing and Zoe’s just so overwhelmed and tired and scared and  _ furious _ . 

 

Hannah is going to be okay. 

 

Hannah  _ has _ to be okay. 

 

And Zoe is going to find out who did this and kill them. 

 

* * *

 

Gus makes it all the way out of the hospital building before Connor catches up with him. It takes a while before Gus has the courage to look at his twin. 

 

He is embarrassed. 

 

Running away is very childish of him. He is an adult now. 

 

Steve is kind and nice and brings food for all of his family. 

 

Steve does not deserve this. 

 

Gus does not deserve Steve. 

 

“It’s going to be okay,” says Connor, in a voice that is soft and calming. It makes Gus think of the time they spent in Ben’s apartment after Jerome died. 

 

Connor was a comfort to Gus then. 

 

But this is not a time where Connor can be a comfort to Gus. Gus must look after his twin. 

 

Gus needs to be strong. 

 

“I did not expect for him to find out,” Gus says, trying to sound like he is not very, very scared. Like this is okay, like this is normal. “Now he is knowing. This cannot be changed.”

 

Connor sighs. “Gus-”

 

“I am being foolish,” Gus interrupts his brother, his voice sharp. “It is not the time for me to be foolish. It is not the time for me to be upset about something that does not matter.”

 

“Gus,” Connor says firmly. “It matters. Of course it matters.”

 

Before Gus can say anything else, Connor hugs him, and Gus is very embarrassed because he cannot help but cry. He has much emotion in him. He is scared for Hannah. He is scared for Evan. He is scared for Connor. And he is scared that Steve knows about the clones. 

 

He is very, very scared. 

 

But he must be strong. 

 

For his family. 

 

He must be strong. 

 

Gus is about to let go, to tell Connor that all is okay even if this is a lie, but he realizes that Connor needs the hug as much as he does. 

 

That Connor is crying now. His breathing is coming in short, sharp gasps, and he is shaking, and Gus holds his brother tighter and rubs his back and lets Connor cry for a very long time. 

 

“Sorry,” Connor mutters. “Sorry, this isn’t-”

 

“It is not like taking turns,” says Gus firmly. “It is not that sometimes I look after you and sometimes you look after me. It is always that we look after each other.” 

 

“I’m so scared,” says Connor, his voice so quiet he can only hear because they are hugging. “I’m so fucking scared. They can’t find Evan, they… what if he’s dead? What if… I’m so fucking scared.”

 

“He is strong,” Gus says. “Evan is strong, you are strong, we are all strong. Because we have each other.”

 

Connor sniffs, and pulls away, and his eyes and nose are red but his face is very, very pale. “I thought we were safe,” he says weakly. “I thought that we’d be safe now.” 

 

Gus does not know how to respond to this. A part of him was also thinking that they would be safe now. But another part of him, a secret hidden part that he has not managed to ever turn off, has never felt safe. For a long time, his life was not safe, and even though he has had safety for many years, he thinks that he will never stop bracing himself for things to go wrong. 

 

It does not mean it does not hurt. 

 

But he thinks that when things are not safe, there are parts of him that are stronger than his twin. 

 

He must be brave for Connor now. 

 

He must be strong. 

 

“We will find out what happened,” Gus promises. “And we will stop whoever did this. We have survived many things, this is another thing to survive.”

 

Connor sighs. “I was supposed to be looking after you.”

 

“Is not how that works,” Gus says with a small smile. “We are looking after each other, yes?”

 

Connor takes a deep breath, then looks at Gus. “Steve knowing about the clones doesn’t mean he has to know about your past,” he says. His voice is strong. “He doesn’t need to know about the Proletheans.”

 

Gus does not respond. 

 

He knows this, yes. But for him, the fact that he is a clone opens doors in his heart. Makes it hard to forget. He never forgets the faces of the clones he kills. He never forgets the names. 

 

Steve knows he is a clone now. 

 

Steve knows there are many faces like his. 

 

It is only time before he knows what he did. 

 

“Gus.”

 

Connor’s voice is soft, and he’s frowning. 

 

“It is hard to… separate this,” Gus tries to explain. “You are knowing what I did, and so are other clones we count as family. I don’t know Steve well enough yet for him to be knowing this. I… I want for him to think I am normal.”

 

Connor smiles sadly. “Normal is overrated.”

 

“We should go back,” Gus says, even though he is not sure he wants to do this. “We should go back and I will talk to Steve and explain.”

 

“You don’t have to explain anything if you don’t want to,” Connor says seriously. “I’ll talk to him if you want to.”

 

Gus looks at his twin. He looks tired, and he is shaking a little, and he is very pale and his face is so, so sad. 

 

“I will talk to him,” Gus replies. 

 

He does not want to cause his brother any more stress. 

 

They walk back into the hospital and find the waiting room. Everyone is still sitting, and there are many cups of coffee. Dad and Heidi are talking to Steve, and Gus is somewhat nervous because he knows that his dad is very protective. 

 

“Would you like to have walk?” Gus asks Steve when he arrives. “Is good for Pampushka to stretch her legs some more.”

 

Steve stands up immediately and nods. Connor sits next to Zoe, who looks tired and angry, and offers Gus a smile. 

 

“Is there anything any needs?” Steve asks the rest of the group. 

 

“We’re fine,” Connor says quietly. He looks at Gus. “We’ll call if we hear anything.”

 

Zoe rests her head on Connor’s shoulder, and Gus is glad they are together. 

 

He does not look at Steve as they head toward the exit in silence. 

 

Once they are out of the hospital and into the night air, Steve touches Gus’s arm gently. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” he says quietly. “I just… I’m kind of a huge nerd and when I found out human cloning was real, I read everything I could find out the DYAD Institute and ERAS and the Phanes project. I didn’t put it together until I saw all of you in the same place, but I always thought you looked kind of familiar.”

 

“It is not something I like to speak of,” Gus says. The words are hard to say. “But you are owed explanation.”

 

Steve shakes his head. “You don’t owe me anything.”

 

“We are only knowing each other for a short time,” Gus says, and this is somewhat easier. “But you are easy to talk to, and you are very kind, and you come here to the hospital to help me look after my family. I think… I think you are a very good person, and I like you very, very much, and I do not want to lie to you.”

 

“I like you, too,” Steve says with a smile. “But you still don’t owe me anything. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. It’s… it’s got to be hard. Knowing that you’re part of an experiment.”

 

“Is complicated for me,” Gus tries to explain. “I am a clone, but I am… different to other clones. Have had a different life. Things in my past are hard. Complicated. Hard to talk of. All because I am a clone and I am different.” He sighs. “I do not want you to think badly of me.”

 

“I wouldn’t,” Steve promises. “Whatever’s in your past is in your past.”

 

“This is kind. But you do not know. There is much that you do not know.”

 

“And when you’re ready to tell me, I’ll listen,” Steve says, his voice strong. “But for now, you’ve got a lot going on with your family. And that’s the focus. For now, we just need to focus on looking after your family during this crisis and after that, we can talk properly if that’s what you want.”

 

Gus looks at Steve very closely. His face is very handsome and very sincere. Gus thinks that he believes Steve when he says he wants to help them. He thinks that Steve is kind and understanding and patient and very, very good, and he would like to spend much time with Steve. 

 

He would very much like to kiss Steve, but he thinks he should not do this outside a hospital. 

 

“I think that now I would like ice cream,” he says after a long pause. “Is okay if we go to get ice cream?” 

 

Steve’s handsome face breaks into a smile. “Whatever you want,” he replies. There is kindness in his voice. Also fondness. 

 

He smiles at Gus the way Connor smiles at Evan, and Gus thinks, not for the first time, that this could be very, very good. 

 

Gus reaches out and takes Steve’s hand. 

 

It is strong and warm in his. 

 

Pampushka walks between them as they walk to Gus’s van, where they will go in search of ice cream. 

 

There is still much for Gus to fear, but for a moment, he is feeling safe, and this is a great comfort. 

 

He can be strong for his family. 

 

There is someone on his side. 

 

Even though many things are bad right now, this is a very good thing. 


	11. TEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waiting.

It’s a long, long night. 

 

Seamus has his phone on as loud as he can get it, waiting for a call from Chiv with news about Evan. 

 

New about Evan doesn’t come. 

 

Chiv does, however, call Rita, and she and Reed head back to ERAS. They haven’t found out anything about Evan, Rita explains, but Chiv’s going to be there all night helping get to the bottom of the explosion and wants to know if they can bring him some food. 

 

“They’re still steadily pulling people out,” Rita says to the group as she and Reed get ready to go. “More injuries than fatalities.” She looks at Heidi and smiles as best she can. “Don’t give up.” 

 

It’s nearly ten pm when Lucas and Donna decide they’re going to go find somewhere to stay for the night, seeing as they’ve come all the way from out of state. Seamus offers to get in touch with Renee and see if there’s a room at the old hotel but Lucas says he’s managed to find a room at something closer by. 

 

Lucas makes them promise to call when they hear anything. 

 

It’s nearly midnight when Steve says he should go home. Seamus can tell he’s not thrilled about the idea, but Gus is insistent he gets some sleep. 

 

“You will need energy for tomorrow when Penny is home,” says Gus with a smile. Gus seems to notice Seamus’s confusion because he turns to him and continues. “Penny is Steve’s daughter. She is five years old and says that sharks are the best.”

 

Steve breaks into a brilliant grin and is looking at Gus with such affection that Seamus can’t help but smile as well. “I didn’t know you had a daughter,” he says, not knowing what else to say. 

 

Gus hadn’t really told Seamus much about his date. 

 

Seamus gets it. It’s embarrassing to talk to your dad about dating for most people, and that’s before taking into consideration the whole human cloning thing. 

 

He freely admits he’s protective of Gus. Honestly, he thinks he has every right to be. But it’s not like he’s about to try and do the whole slightly patronizing over-protective dad thing when it comes to the men Gus dates. Gus is an adult, and most of the time he’s a pretty good judge of character. 

 

Motherfucking asshole Tim being the obvious exception. 

 

It’s early days yet, and obviously, Seamus still has to get to know him properly but Steve’s made a pretty good first impression. 

 

“Penny and I met Gus at the Woofles Family Fun Day,” Steve says by way of explanation. “She had the best time. She keeps asking when she’s going to see Pampushka again.”

 

Gus is absolutely beaming. “We can arrange this,” he says enthusiastically. “I am sure Pampushka will like to see Penny, too.” 

 

Seamus wouldn’t have picked it, but it kind of makes sense, Gus with a guy who’s got a kid. Gus has done a lot of babysitting of both Sofia and Lucas’s nieces and he’s very, very good with children. 

 

“It’s been nice to meet you all,” says Steve to the group. “I just wish it had been under better circumstances.” He looks at Gus. “If there’s anything you need. Anything at all, just call me. I’ll see if I can get my parents to look after Penny again if you need me tomorrow.”

 

Gus looks tempted but shakes his head. “I do not want to interrupt Penny’s weekend with her dad. She tells me weekends with Dad are the best times when we are at Woofles.” 

 

Steve smiles fondly. “She’s a good kid.” He waves at the group, everyone says their goodbyes and Gus walks him out to his car. 

 

Seamus sees Connor watching them go and they look at each other knowingly. 

 

“He seems nice,” Connor says, voice warm. 

 

“He seems like he really likes Gus,” Zoe chimes in.

 

Seamus nods, and checks his phone, just in case. 

 

He still hasn’t had a call from Chiv. 

 

Heidi looks over his shoulder and frowns. “No news?”

 

Seamus shakes his head no. Heidi rests her head on his shoulder and lets out a shaky breath. 

 

It’s nearly two am by the time they hear that Hannah’s out of surgery. Zoe’s spent the hour previously actually pacing, looking like she’s barely holding herself back from literally running into the operating theatre. The doctor tells them it’s been a long, difficult process and that while they’re confident she’ll make a full recovery, she’s not likely to wake up for at least another 24 hours. 

 

Zoe spends the next half an hour in an intense discussion with the doctors, who are trying to convince her to go home and get some sleep. It’s not quite an argument, but it’s close. By the time Zoe’s through with them Hannah is being moved to a private room and Zoe’s allowed to stay with her for as long as she wants. 

 

She has, however, relented to only 2 other people being allowed in the room at a time. 

 

“You can go home,” Zoe says to the group, her voice tired. “I’ll stay here with her.”

 

“I’m not leaving you here by yourself,” Connor says immediately. 

 

“It’s the middle of the night,” Zoe points out. “We can’t all wait in Hannah’s room. You should get some sleep.”

 

“I’m not going to be able to sleep,” Connor replies, and he looks almost as exhausted. “Not until I find out what happened to Evan.”

 

Heidi looks like she’s about to say the same thing but stops herself, taking Seamus’s hand and squeezing it. She’s been ridiculously strong throughout this whole ordeal, but Seamus can tell that she’s nearing the end of her resolve. 

 

Whatever else happens, Seamus doesn’t think they’re getting answers tonight.

 

The doctor comes back and says they can go see Hannah now, but they have to stick to two at a time. Zoe stands up, and both Connor and Gus stand with her, but she surprises everyone by looking straight at Seamus.

 

“Seamus, can you come with me first?”

 

Connor and Gus exchange surprised looks. Seamus isn’t sure what’s going on but he nods and walks with Zoe down the hallway, around the corner and to an elevator, making sure to note how he got there so he can get back to where the others are waiting. 

 

Hannah looks small in the hospital bed. 

 

She’s hooked up to all sorts of machines and is black and blue all over and Zoe lets out a choked sob and Seamus puts his arm around her gently. 

 

It takes a moment, but Zoe eventually speaks. 

 

“I need to find out who did this,” she says. “And I need to take them down.”

 

“And you want my help,” Seamus guesses, suddenly understanding why she asked for him. 

 

“You’ve got contacts. You know more about this than I do. You’ll know where to start looking.”

 

Seamus nods. “I’ve got some theories, yeah.”

 

Zoe looks at him and there’s fire in her eyes. “I’ll destroy them. Whoever did this, I’ll destroy them. I just need you to help me find them.”

 

“Of course,” Seamus replies.

 

Because he understands. 

 

Because it’s that simple.

 

Whoever hurts someone he loves is going to regret it. 

 

“We’ll talk in the morning,” Zoe says decisively. She’s looking at Hannah now, and there are tears running down her face, but she looks determined. “You and Heidi should get home.” She looks back at Seamus and her face crumbles. “Call me if you hear anything about Evan?” 

 

“Of course,” Seamus says again. 

 

Zoe hugs him fiercely, and Seamus makes sure to hug her back with just as much energy, then she asks him to send up Connor, and he heads back toward the waiting room. 

 

There’s a part of Seamus that feels like he should have seen this coming. 

 

Even if they’re not saying anything officially, he knows what happened at ERAS wasn’t an accident. And the most likely cause is probably DYAD. 

Seamus spent nearly eighteen years trying to find out everything he could about DYAD, about human cloning, about anything that might help him find the twins. And what he’d found was a complicated maze of information, a labyrinth full of twists and turns and misdirects. 

 

He’s willing to bet that all they really did was sent DYAD underground. 

 

And now they’re back. 

 

And Seamus is an idiot for not having anticipated this. 

 

He goes back to the waiting room and guides Gus, Connor and Heidi to where Hannah’s room is so they know how to find it. After a quick discussion in the hallway, Connor goes in to stay with Zoe and the rest of them head out of the hospital into the cool night air. 

 

“You will call if there is news, yes?” asks Gus, pulling his jacket closer toward him. 

 

“We’ll call as soon as we know,” Heidi says firmly. 

 

They get home almost too quickly. 

 

Seamus isn’t surprised when Heidi bursts into tears the minute they get through the front door. He guides her to the sofa in the living room and holds her tight as she sobs and sobs and sobs for what feels like hours. 

 

It’s breaking his heart. 

 

He’s been trying not to think about Evan. About the fact that he could very well be dead, or seriously injured, and the longer it takes for someone to find him the less likely it is that this is going to end well. 

 

Heidi’s kept it together all night, and Seamus is incredibly proud of how strong she is, but right now she needs to let it out and he’ll sit here on this sofa holding her until she’s out of tears, even if it takes days. 

 

Eventually, the sobs die down, and Seamus realizes that she’s exhausted, that they’re both exhausted, that they’re likely to fall asleep on the couch if they don’t move soon, and they’re definitely too old for that. Seamus all but carries Heidi into their bedroom and they’re both out like a light without even bothering to properly get changed for bed. 

 

When he wakes up, it’s morning. 

 

Heidi’s not in bed beside him. 

 

He looks at his phone. 

 

There’s a short text from Chiv, saying there’s no news about Evan. 

 

He gets up, changes into something other than the clothes he fell asleep in and heads into the kitchen to find Heidi sitting at the kitchen table, staring into a coffee cup. She’s still in the clothes from last night and she looks drained. 

 

Seamus sits across from her and takes her hand.

 

“Your boys didn’t have a choice,” Heidi says suddenly, and Seamus is almost a little taken aback at the sound of her voice, harsh in the stillness of the morning. “They can’t escape what they are. It’s not fair, but… they didn’t have a choice.” She takes a deep breath. “Evan did. Evan  _ chose _ this. He could have walked away. Had a different career. Been safe. He could have chosen something safe. Someone safe.”

 

“You’re right,” says Seamus, because what else is there to say? She’s got a point. She’s got one hell of a point. Connor and Gus are clones. Torpedo, Reed, Lucas and Beanpole are clones. And that means their lives were always going to difficult. They can’t escape their own biology. 

 

Evan stumbled upon it. Got himself shot for his trouble. Made terrible choices and nearly died and fought to recover and…

 

And chose to stay.

 

Chose to stay with ERAS. With Connor. 

 

And this time he might not have made it.

 

“I guess he’s an adult,” Heidi says, wiping her face. “And that he… he chose this life, even knowing the risks. And part of me knows that I have to respect his choices, but… the other part of me just wants to scream at him for putting himself in a situation where this sort of shit could happen.” 

 

“We shouldn’t… we shouldn’t act like he’s gone,” Seamus replies, and his voice is shakier than he wants it to be. “We don’t know yet. Last time we thought he was dead it didn’t exactly take.”

 

Heidi laughs humorlessly. “You’re right,” she agrees. “Part of me feels like I’d know if he were dead, you know? Like I’d  _ know, _ somewhere deep inside of me. But it… it doesn’t look good.”

 

“All we can do is wait,” Seamus says, and he knows his voice is shaking now, and he’s on the verge of tears as well because even though they had a rocky start, Evan’s family now. Evan’s one of the few people on this planet that Seamus would do anything to protect, and with every minute that passes it’s more and more likely that he’s dead. 

 

Seamus should have been more prepared for this. 

 

He should have known that DYAD was still out there. 

 

He should have done something. 

 

Heidi grips her coffee cup like it’s the only thing anchoring her to reality, then smiles weakly at Seamus. “What do we think of this Steve character?” she asks, and it’s a blatant change of subject. 

 

“He seems like a good guy,” Seamus replies, glad for something else to talk about. 

 

“I think a kind-hearted man like that who’ll make a pile of sandwiches for people he’s just met and spend hours at the hospital is just what Gus needs,” Heidi declares, nodding to herself. “Especially if…”

 

_ Especially if we’re in the worst case scenario.  _

 

_ Especially if Evan’s dead, or fatally injured, and we all have to deal with it.  _

 

Heidi doesn’t finish her sentence, but Seamus knows what she means. 


	12. ELEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Special Agents Brewer and Fence.

“Okay, what’s so important that I have to be here at 9 am on a Saturday morning?” 

 

“You’re grumpy in the mornings,” says Special Agent Marigold Brewer to her rookie partner, rolling her eyes. 

 

“Wasn’t expecting to be anywhere but my bed at this time of day on a weekend,” he grumbles, sitting down next to her and putting a Starbucks cup down in front of her. 

 

To his credit, Special Agent Fence did show up with coffee for both of them, completely unprompted. He may be complaining, but at least he’s coming through where it counts. 

 

“Hot date last night, huh?” she teases.

 

“Bite me, Brewer.”

 

Brewer takes a sip of her coffee to find that it’s not only the perfect temperature, it’s also exactly what she usually orders. She raises the cup at him and he rolls his eyes, clearly still cranky. 

 

“Trust me, once you hear about what’s going on with this one you’ll be glad I called,” she announces, handing him a dossier. 

 

Brewer watches as he opens the file and sees his own face staring right back at him. Only it’s not his face - it’s a face that looks exactly like his, except with slightly more unkempt hair and glasses. 

 

Once again, she’s impressed by Fence as he barely bats an eyelid. He looks at her. “What’s happening with Phanes?” he asks, and she’s never going to play poker against this kid because aside from having gone slightly pale, there’s not a trace of surprise on his face. 

 

“Explosion at the Boston ERAS Center,” Brewer explains. “Interestingly timed, too - Charles Booth left the country a couple of months ago and they’ve got an interim director taking over. You ask me, someone’s seen an opportunity to strike and they’ve taken it.”

 

“Obviously we think it’s DYAD, right?” asks Fence, looking through the files intently. “That they’re finally making a move? It was too clean when ERAS took them down in 2021. I’ve read everything there is to know about this case that I’ve got clearance for but there’s still plenty of information I haven’t been able to get my hands on. It was too clean.” 

 

Brewer grins. This is exactly what she’d hoped for. Fence was still in college when ERAS took down DYAD but you could say the kid has a personal interest in all things Phanes - given that he’s one of them. 

 

Brewer’s been with the Bureau for nearly fifteen years whereas Fence has been here just shy of three. But the moment she’d realized that there was an honest-to-God actual Phanes clone working for the FBI, she’d known she had to work with him. 

 

Calling Phanes an obsession is probably a little much, but Brewer’s definitely an enthusiast. She’s been working on uncovering the mystery of Phanes for a decade now, and just because human cloning was exposed to the world doesn’t mean she’s lost interest. Far from it, in fact - it became all the more interesting the moment she was told to let it go. 

 

It’s been six years since ERAS decided to burn down DYAD offices all over the globe, leak their secrets and announce to the world that not only did human cloning exist but that they’d found a cure for a neurological disease unique to their clones that had seriously positive real-world connotations in terms of research for other neurological diseases. Brewer remembers the day it all came out, the day she was dragged into her supervisor's office and told in no uncertain terms that all official investigation into the Phanes project was to be dropped. 

 

She’s pretty sure there are other people at the Bureau who know she’s still looking into it, but she’s smart and she’s sneaky and she’s not about to let it get in the way of her other assignments, and no one’s asked her to stop. 

 

Managing to convince the Bureau to let her partner with a rookie Phanes clone had been difficult, and it hadn’t really helped in any way because Fence is boringly by-the-book and wouldn’t be caught dead helping her with a technically forbidden assignment, but she’d always figured it would come in handy one day.

 

Today seems to be that day. 

 

“They’re letting you work on this?” Fence asks, finally looking up at her. “Like, they’re actually giving you this assignment? Or have you just stolen the file and we’re not actually supposed to be looking into this?”

 

“You wound me, Noah,” she says, putting her hand dramatically on her chest and gasping like a telenovela star. 

 

Fence scowls. “Please don’t call me that.” 

 

“This is legitimately our assignment,” Brewer assures him with barely contained excitement. “It’s not something they’re putting a lot of resources into, it’s not going to be a full-blown investigation, but we’ve been assigned to look into it.” 

 

Fence still looks suspicious. “If this is just you trying to talk me into doing something off book…”

 

“I appreciate your concern,” says a voice from the doorway, “but she’s right. This is your assignment.”

 

Fence snaps to attention. “Good morning, sir,” he says. 

 

“Good morning, sir,” Brewer repeats, trying not to look surprised.

 

It’s the goddamn Executive Director. 

 

Brewer feels a thrill go through her. 

 

They’re taking this seriously. 

 

Director Brown looks at her and nods. “Well, you’ve got what you wanted,” he says, sounding more resolved than resigned. “You’ve always wanted to get to the bottom of this one, haven’t you Brewer? Off you go, then. You and Fence need to get to Boston as soon as you can. You’ll be meeting with the Boston ERAS Center’s Head of Security. His name is Chiv Yu.” 

 

“What about the interim director?” Brewer asks. “Evan Hansen?”

 

Brown looks at her. “He was in the building when it exploded. They’re still recovering people from the rubble, but there’s no sign of Hansen. There’s a possibility he’s injured, or even dead, and still needs to be found, but another theory is that DYAD’s taken him.” 

 

“How likely is that?” asks Fence, looking a little skeptical. “We seem to be working on a lot of assumptions here. Can we be a hundred percent sure we can rule out the incident at ERAS being an accident? They are a science and research facility. Accidents happen.” 

 

“We got an anonymous tip,” says Brown, and Brewer sits up and takes notice because she was not expecting that. “A few days before the explosion. A phone call, completely untraceable, using a disguised voice. Just four words: DYAD want Evan Hansen.” 

 

“So it’s definitely DYAD,” says Brewer, feeling her heart start to race. 

 

She’s finally going to find out what’s going on with these guys. She’s finally got the chance to get some answers, to get to the bottom of this mystery.

 

Considering that a building got blown up, a bunch of people died and the interim director of the Boston ERAS Center might have been kidnapped, it’s a little insensitive for her to be classing today as the best day ever. 

 

But still. 

 

This is the best day ever. 

 

“Here’s what we know about Chiv Yu,” says Brown, handing over another file. “29 years old. Graduated high school, didn’t go to college. Worked in security for the DYAD Institute in New York for a while as a teenager. Long story short, he saw something he didn’t like and fell in with ESM, the group that created ERAS. Helped destroy the Boston DYAD Office in 2021. Since then, he’s been the Head of Security at the Boston ERAS office. He’s also dating one of the Phanes clones, Reed Albrecht.”

 

“Reed Albrecht was one of the clones responsible for finding the cure,” says Fence. His expression is still maddeningly bland but Brewer can see a flash of excitement in his eyes.

 

“Yes, you were among the first to get the cure, weren’t you, Agent Fence?” 

 

“I started to show symptoms in late 2020,” says Fence. Still with the poker face. “Headaches, mostly. When ERAS took over DYAD, I found out that my older sister had been monitoring me. She was contacted through the monitor program and it wasn’t long before I was informed of what happened and provided with the cure.” 

 

“Your sister was your monitor?” Brewer asks, surprised. “You’ve never mentioned a sister.”

 

“We don’t talk anymore,” Fence says tersely. 

 

“We’re hoping that a familiar face will make Mr. Yu more likely to trust us,” Brown says, effectively changing the subject. “We hope. It could have the opposite effect - there have of course been Phanes clones affiliated with DYAD.” 

 

“Like Dominic Morgan,” Fence adds. 

 

“You weren’t kidding when you said you’d read everything,” Brewer replies, shooting Fence a look. 

 

“You’re one to talk.”

 

“We’ve booked you a flight for midday,” says Brown. “All we need at this stage is for you to talk to Mr. Yu and find out everything you can about the explosion, about employees he thinks might have been connected. All signs point to an inside job.”

 

Which means that there are people working at ERAS who are secretly still DYAD. Which she suspected, to be perfectly honest. She’s been keeping tabs on ERAS, especially the Boston branch, because so many people of interest worked there. The Boston branch has by far the lowest percentage of former DYAD employees in their ranks, which is what makes this so interesting. 

 

Brewer’s not stupid. She knows that the vast majority of people working for the DYAD Institute had no idea about the horrible things their employers were doing.  That most of them quite happily moved on to ERAS without much of a change in their day to day working lives. Just scientists who want to learn and discover and find things. 

 

But still, it’s good to be cautious. And the Boston branch has been cautious. 

 

Yet they’re the target. 

 

Just them. 

 

It’s not like last time with synchronized attacks all over the world. It’s not like someone’s trying to take down ERAS in one fell swoop as they did with DYAD. This is something different, something else. 

 

It could mean a bunch of different things. 

 

It could mean that whatever’s left of DYAD isn’t big enough to pull it off. They’re not big enough to take the reins back.

 

Or they’re just not interested. 

 

They’re after something else. 

 

And then there’s that message. 

 

DYAD want Evan Hansen. 

 

The question here is  _ why. _ Why Evan Hansen of all people? Sure, he’s the interim director, he’s been around since ERAS started and he was instrumental in finding the cure, but Brewer’s read about him. He’s been quite happy sticking to the science up until now. From all accounts, he’s only taking the interim director role temporarily because Charles Booth wants to work on his doctorate at Cambridge. 

 

He’s engaged to a Phanes clone. That could be why they’re interested in him. 

 

And what do they want him for? What are they going to do with him? What’s the end game, the goal, what are they actually trying to accomplish in the long run? 

 

There are plenty of questions here and Brewer’s almost giddy with anticipation. 

 

She finally gets to work on this. 

 

She finally gets to find out. 

 

At eleven, she meets Fence at the airport and they check in. Fence is in a nice suit, and it suits him, and Brewer feels slightly underdressed even though she’s in a blazer, nice shirt and dress slacks. It’s probably because Fence, like all the Phanes clones, is absurdly good-looking. Brewer doesn’t consider herself hideous looking, but she’s pushing forty, doesn’t get enough sleep and lives on coffee and fast food. She’s in decent shape, because she has to be, but her days of turning heads are long behind her. 

 

(Her mother has long since given up on her settling down with a nice man to pop out some grandchildren. Instead, she likes to complain loudly that Marigold used to be so beautiful until she ran herself ragged focusing on her career and isn’t it a shame?)

 

Fence hands her a cup of coffee when she arrives and once again, she’s impressed that he got her order right and also somehow managed to time it so it was at the optimum temperature when she arrived. He’s got some kind of weird sixth sense when it comes to coffee, which she’s always been grateful for. 

 

“Okay, so, I know you’ve always refused to answer but I think it’s time you actually tell me,” she says, holding the cup of coffee with both hands. “Have you actually met another Phanes clone?”

 

Fence glares at her for a moment and takes a sip of his own coffee. “No comment.”

 

“Noah. I’m serious. This is actually related to the assignment, you know.”

 

He scowls. “Don’t call me that.”

 

“If you haven’t met one, then today could be the first time you do,” Brewer points out. “That’s got to be a mindfuck. I just want to know so we can be prepared.”

 

Fence sighs, takes another sip of coffee, then looks at her. “Fine,” he replies. “I’ve met one. His name was Parker and he and his partner Ivy were the ones who gave me the cure.” 

 

“What was he like?” 

 

Fence considers. “Kind of a dick, actually. He didn’t know anything about the science behind it. Ivy did, though. She helped with the cure research, actually. They had kind of a May December thing going on.” 

 

“Oh?”

 

Fence shrugs. “Yeah, he was 21 and she was, like, 45 or something? She could have been his mom, it was kind of weird.”

 

Brewer considers. “Yeah, that’s a hell of an age gap. Still, I guess the heart wants what it wants.”

 

“They were cute,” Fence comments, taking another sip of his coffee. “Parker was a lot further along with the clone disease than I was when he got the cure, so he had some recovering to do. And Ivy had a coke habit she had to get sorted as well. So I guess they kind of looked after each other while Parker recovered and Ivy went through rehab.” 

 

“Well, that’s nice,” says Brewer thoughtfully. “Did you stay in touch?” 

 

“A little,” says Fence. “I keep in touch with them on Clonebook.”

 

Brewer just stares at him for a moment. “What the actual fuck?”

 

Fence looks embarrassed. “It’s lame, I know. It’s super lame. Some guy in Switzerland created what’s basically Facebook for clones, and it’s given some of us an opportunity to stay in touch and get to know each other.” 

 

“There’s a clone Facebook? How the hell did I not know about this?” Brewer demands. “This would have been so useful in my investigation!”

 

“You mean the investigation you weren’t supposed to be doing for the past six years?” Fence counters, and by this stage he looks goddamned smug, and Brewer wants to punch him. “It’s secure. It’s ridiculously secure. It’s designed so that we can have some privacy, but reach out and talk to people who understand.” 

 

Brewer finds herself realizing, not for the first time, that it has to be difficult to know you’re part of an illegal human cloning experiment. That you were created in a test tube, that there are hundreds of people out there with your face. 

 

“Does it help?” she finds herself asking. 

 

Fence looks surprised at the question. “It does,” he replies, and his voice is a little less brisk, a little softer. 

 

“Well alright.” She looks at him, and thinks he’s almost smiling. Almost. “You’re still going to have to tell me everything about Clonebook, you realize.”

 

“Nope,” he replies. He finishes his coffee, rolls his eyes with an expression that could almost be described as affectionate, then throws the empty cup in the bin.

 

Before she can ask any more questions, their flight calls for boarding, and pretty soon they’re on their way to Boston. 

 


	13. TWELVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

Reed doesn’t realize they’ve been up all night until they see the sunrise. It’s been a long night of pulling people out of the rubble and trying to get an accurate head count of how many people should have been in the building at the time of the explosion. 

 

This is made all the more difficult by the fact that they can’t access their security systems which has information on who’d swiped into different access areas. 

 

Which Reed thinks is a sign that this isn’t just an accident. 

 

It’s about three in the morning when Torpedo shows up, and he quickly sets to work with his laptop connecting to their offsite server, trying to get that information back. It’s not long before he tells them that someone’s scrambled everything. That it looks like some kind of virus. 

 

“I’ll do my best,” he says, frowning, “but I can’t guarantee anything. Someone’s definitely fucked with this.” 

 

So it’s the old fashioned way for the most part. Rita’s at the hospital, talking to people who were injured but are still conscious, trying to figure out who they saw at work that day and get some kind of an idea of who’s still missing in action. 

 

Aside from the obvious. 

 

They still haven’t found Evan. 

 

Beanpole’s been in touch. He’s booked a flight from the UK but won’t be in the US until Sunday. Reed has to admit, they’re glad he’s coming, even though it’s under such awful circumstances. Beanpole not being here at a time like this just feels wrong. 

 

At around nine, Rita shows up with coffee and breakfast muffins and a report from the hospital. Hannah made it through her surgery, but there were four more fatalities overnight. Reed asks for names and is dismayed to realize they’ve worked with all of them. 

 

“I saw Zoe briefly,” says Rita, her face pale from lack of sleep. “She and Connor are still at the hospital. Hannah’s not awake yet.”

 

“How are Zoe and Connor?” Reed asks. 

 

“Tired. Scared.” Rita takes a sip of her coffee. “Zoe might… she wants to know who did this. And I’m willing to bet she’ll do whatever it takes to find out.”

 

“We’ve got that in common,” Chiv says grimly. 

 

“Mom’s coming this morning,” says Torpedo. “She’s going straight to Heidi and Seamus’s. She and Heidi are close, and Heidi’s probably not doing so great right now.”

 

That’s the understatement of the century. 

 

“Speaking of people who are showing up,” says Chiv, and Reed’s a little heartbroken at just how drained his partner looks, “we’re getting a visit from the FBI this afternoon.”

 

Rita looks surprised. “Really?” 

 

“The FBI was looking into DYAD long before we took them down,” Torpedo says, in a tone of voice that makes it sound like this should be obvious. “Guess they’ve decided that what’s happened here warrants further investigation. DYAD was into some pretty weird shit.” 

 

“Weirder shit than human cloning?” Rita asks, frowning. 

 

“Human cloning was definitely up there with the weird shit,” Torpedo agrees. “They were also looking into all sorts of cybernetic enhancements. There were… experiments. A lot of really, really fucked up experiments.” 

 

They all finish their breakfast in relative silence, then it’s back into the fray. 

 

They pull out five more dead bodies before lunchtime. 

 

And still no sign of Evan. 

 

* * *

 

Connor kind of feels like he’s vibrating out of his skin and he can’t tell if it’s because he hasn’t slept or because his brain just won’t stop screaming at him. 

 

He remembers when Jerome died, how his brain just wouldn’t touch that thought. How it felt like touching a hot stove. How he couldn’t process it. 

 

This is different. 

 

This is uncertainty and horror and trying to keep it together for his sister when he can’t stop thinking about Evan crushed by a building and with every passing moment it’s less and less likely he’ll survive and running through his mind over and over are the words  _ not again not again notagainnotagainnotagain… _

 

“Hey.” 

 

Zoe’s got her hand on his arm and is looking at him, eyes full of concern. She looks completely exhausted. 

 

“Hey,” he replies weakly. 

 

She looks like she’s about to say something but is interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. It’s Gus and Pampushka. Gus is bearing coffee and a box of donuts and looks like he didn’t sleep much, either. 

 

“How is Hannah?” Gus asks, his voice quiet. He hands both Zoe and Connor a cup of coffee and puts the box of donuts on a spare seat. 

 

“Vitals are good, apparently,” says Zoe. “Nurse has been in regularly to check. They don’t know when she’ll wake up but they’re confident she will.”

 

Zoe conveniently doesn’t mention that she’s argued with the doctor over the word ‘confident’. 

 

Because it’s not ‘sure’. 

 

It’s not a one hundred percent guarantee. 

 

And Connor knows she’s flat-out terrified. 

 

The three of them drink coffee in silence for a while. 

 

No one touches the donuts, not even Gus. 

 

It’s a while before Gus speaks. 

 

“I talked to Dad before I came,” he says. “We make a plan, if is okay with both of you.”

 

“Oh?” Connor replies, not really sure what to expect. 

 

“Plan is this. Dad comes to pick you both up so you can shower and maybe have sleep. Pampushka and I stay with Hannah.” 

 

“I’m not leaving her,” Zoe says immediately. 

 

“Shower only, then,” Gus offers. “Shower, change of clothes, very quick, then back to hospital. I think you will feel better.”

 

Zoe shakes her head. “I can’t leave her alone.”

 

“You do not leave her alone,” Gus says gently. “I will be here to look over your Hannah. She is very precious to me, too. I will call if any change, but you have had long night. Even if it is just a change of scenery, is good.” 

 

Zoe opens her mouth to argue, but Connor gets in first. “Come on, Zo,” he says, equally as gently as his twin. “You know she’d want you to look after yourself.”

 

Zoe looks at both of them fiercely, then nods. “Fine. Shower and a change of clothes. Then I’m coming right back here.”

 

“Also proper breakfast,” Gus insists. “Need your strength.” He smiles kindly and his eyes are very, very sad. “It is hard road ahead, sestra.” 

 

Zoe’s eyes fill with tears and she mutters something about needing the bathroom and disappears into the room adjacent. Connor and Gus exchange a look, then Gus sits down on the seat next to Connor. Connor rests his head on his brother’s shoulder and lets out a long breath. 

 

“Thank you for being here,” says Connor quietly. “Zoe listens to you.” 

 

“We have understanding,” Gus replies mildly. He puts his arm around Connor and looks at him, his expression concerned. “I talk to Dad and also Reed. There is no news of Evan. This waiting… is very painful. I worry for him, and also for you. How are you really, Connor?”

 

“I have no fucking idea.”

 

“Understand. This is hard. The not knowing, most hard.”

 

Connor sighs. “I can’t stop thinking about it. What if he’s dead, what if he’s so badly injured that he’s never going to recover, what if he’s… what if something else happened.”

 

Gus goes very still for a moment. “Something else?”

 

Connor’s quiet for a moment, then voices his worst fear. “What if it’s DYAD and they took him somehow? And if they did… what are they doing to him?”

 

Gus is very pale and Connor doesn’t need to say what he’s really thinking. 

 

He’s thinking about what DYAD did to him and Gus. 

 

He’s thinking that Evan doesn’t have a healing ability. 

 

“You think they try to get information about ERAS from him,” Gus replies, his voice dark. “Information so they can destroy all that has been worked for. Or perhaps… leverage? Perhaps blackmail?”

 

“I honestly don’t know,” Connor says, and he can hear from his own voice just how tired he is. “I don’t… I don’t know, and it’s killing me because I just don’t know and there are so many possibilities and…”

 

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Gus pulls him into a hug and Pampushka rests her head on his knee. A few moments later, he feels another set of arms around him and realizes it’s Zoe. 

 

When they finally break apart, all of them are red-faced and red-eyed. Zoe offers a weak smile, then looks over at Hannah for a long moment. 

 

Hannah’s always been quiet and unassuming but seeing her bruised and beaten and still is wrong. 

 

“I will call Dad,” says Gus, voice gentle but firm. “You will have shower and food, and maybe nap if you want. Pampushka and I watch over Hannah.” 

 

“Hannah’s mom and brother are arriving this afternoon,” Zoe says, her voice tired. “I need to be back by then.”

 

“That is okay. We can do.”

 

It’s not too long before Seamus arrives, looking about as exhausted as the rest of them. He smiles when he sees the group and gives everyone a hug. Zoe goes over to Hannah, kisses her cheek and then lets Connor and Seamus guide her out of the room. 

 

Connor looks over his shoulder as they leave to see Gus and Pampushka sitting right next to Hannah’s unconscious body, Pampushka resting her head on Gus’s lap. Gus is stroking her fur and looks very, very sad. 

 

Seamus takes them both back to Zoe and Hannah’s, which makes sense because Zoe’s the one who’s probably going to spending the most time at the hospital and needs her things. Zoe takes the first shower and Seamus manages to whip up some pancakes in the kitchen relatively quickly. Connor just kind of trails around after him, doing what’s asked of him to help mechanically while trying not to think about Evan. 

 

Find the eggs. Make a pot of coffee. Get out some plates. 

 

Evan dead under a pile of rubble. Evan unconscious and alone. Evan being tortured. 

 

All of a sudden, he’s throwing up in Zoe’s sink, and Seamus has his arm around him and is saying something comforting in a soft voice that Connor’s just not processing at all. He just stands there and wipes his mouth and stares at the sink and tries in vain to stop fucking thinking. 

 

“Where’s Heidi?” he asks after a long moment, his voice raw and rough. 

 

“With Jenny,” Seamus replies as he starts cleaning the sink. “Torpedo’s mother.”

 

“Is Torpedo here?” 

 

“He’s at ERAS with the others.” Seamus looks at Connor. “I thought that after we take Zoe back to the hospital, we could go down there. See if there’s anything we can do to help.”

 

Connor nods. It might be good to see Torpedo. 

 

It’ll definitely be good to see Torpedo. 

 

It’s not like they never see each other anymore, but considering that they’re in different states, they don’t see each other as often as Connor would like. Torpedo’s busy with his game development and he does a bit of traveling for it these days as well. (He invented some kind of ridiculous smartphone game when he was bored that went viral and earned him a lot of money, which Connor’s never going to not find hilarious.)

 

“You’re going to be okay,” Seamus says suddenly. “Whatever happens, you’re going to be okay. Even if…”

 

Seamus trails off and Connor appreciates that he doesn’t voice what they’re all thinking. 

 

Even if Evan’s gone. 

 

“Yeah,” says Connor tightly, even though he’s not sure, because he’s lost so many people and he doesn’t know if he can stand losing the love of his life on top of this and even though he’s got Seamus and Gus and Zoe and the rest of his clone family, he’s never felt so alone and exhausted and…

 

“Shower’s free,” says Zoe quietly as she comes back into the kitchen, hair wet but looking a bit less completely wrecked, which is good. “I, uh… I also found some of Gus’s clothes he left here one time if you wanted to change.” She hands him a pair of soft jeans and a flannel shirt, and it’s definitely not usually his style but he’s too tired to care. 

 

He stays in the shower longer than he probably needs to, just letting the hot water run over him. 

 

When he’s done, he puts on Gus’s clothes. They smell like vanilla. 

 

Seamus makes him eat a pancake before they leave. Zoe just sits at the table, looking anxious. 

 

Connor stays in the car when they drop Zoe back off at the hospital. There’s a conversation about how Heidi and Jenny will pick up Hannah’s mom and brother from the airport later in the afternoon, but Connor’s barely listening. 

 

He’s so tired. 

 

He dozes off in the car and wakes up when it stops. Then looks around. 

 

They’re not at ERAS. 

 

“You need some sleep,” Seamus says gently. “Come on. Let’s get you inside.”

 

He notices, dimly, that they’re at Seamus and Heidi’s. When they get into the house, Heidi and Jenny are sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Connor notices that Heidi’s eyes are red and she looks absolutely devastated. 

 

Heidi pulls him into a firm hug when she sees him, and Jenny does the same. 

 

“How are you holding up?” Jenny asks gently. 

 

Connor doesn’t know how to reply.

 

“I think a nap is in order,” says Seamus quietly, and they guide him into the guest room. 

 

Connor feels very far away. 

 

He takes off his shoes and he gets into the bed in the guest room and closes his eyes. 

 

He kind of feels like he’s floating. 

 

Like he’s not really real, or not really here, or this is all some kind of horrible dream, and maybe it is because it’s just not fair that after everything, this is happening again.    
  



	14. THIRTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torpedo's on the case.

Torpedo’s pissed off. 

 

Seriously pissed off. 

 

Whoever hacked into the ERAS server knows their shit, and he’s pissed off at himself that he can’t get through it faster. 

 

He’s been at it since he showed up in the early hours of the morning and he’s just getting more and more frustrated and annoyed. Reed, Chiv and Rita assure him that it’s not his fault but he just feels like he’s letting everyone down. 

 

What the fuck. He’s supposed to be good at this. 

 

He’s supposed to be the computer guy. 

 

Now there’s an actual situation where his skills are needed and he’s struggling, he’s not getting it done fast enough, and he’s kicking himself for focusing more on game development than security over the past few years because he’s letting everyone down. 

 

Reed had called him a few hours after the explosion when they realized that they’d somehow been locked out of the ERAS server. Chiv had his work laptop with him at home, which was lucky, but he couldn’t access anything. Couldn’t log in remotely. Couldn’t find the staff list, access the security footage, anything useful. 

 

Anything that would give them a place to start. 

 

A clue. 

 

A way to figure out what the fuck had happened. 

 

“It’s bad,” Reed had said when they called. “The building’s exploded, Hannah’s in intensive care at the hospital and we haven’t found Evan yet.”

 

Torpedo had felt his heart stop at that moment. “Do you think Evan’s…”

 

“He was in a meeting with Hannah when the building blew,” Reed said, their voice tight with grief and anger. “The fact that they found Hannah but not Evan? It’s not… there’s something wrong. Something’s wrong.”

 

Torpedo had gotten into his car and driven to Boston as fast as he could, debating the whole time whether he should call Connor. 

 

Connor, who’d been through so much, doesn’t deserve to have to deal with this. 

 

Doesn’t deserve to lose someone he loves again. 

 

When he’d arrived at ERAS in the early hours of the morning, he’d taken Chiv’s laptop and gotten stuck in as fast as he could. Hoping it’d be a quick job. He knows he’s good, he knows he’s got more knowledge than most people and he’d assumed, foolishly, that whoever it was who’d done this would have done a shoddy enough job to get through. 

 

He was wrong. 

 

Whoever’s done this knows exactly what they’re doing. Knew exactly what they were doing. 

 

This is no accident. 

 

This whole fucking thing is no accident.  

 

He only stops when Connor arrives sometime after lunch with Seamus. Connor looks so incredibly exhausted and upset that he can’t really stop himself from getting up and giving his clone the biggest damn hug he’s got in him. 

 

Connor holds onto him tightly. “It’s good to see you,” he murmurs. “I’m glad you’re here.”

 

“I’m trying to get back into the ERAS server,” he explains, trying not to sound as frustrated as he feels. “It’s… difficult.”

 

“It’s really good to see you,” Connor says simply. 

 

“Sorry for the mess,” says Rita apologetically. She’s helped set up a ‘command station’ of sorts - a large gazebo tent with power generators and desks and places for people to get shit done. Torpedo had barely noticed when he’d been ushered into one sometime early this morning and has literally no idea how she sorted this whole place out in the middle of the night. 

 

“Don’t listen to her,” says Reed with a scoff. “The fact that we even have all this is amazing.” 

 

“Is there anything we can do to help?” asks Seamus. Torpedo hadn’t even realized he was there. 

 

“Not really,” Chiv replies, rubbing his face. He kind of looks at his shirt and frowns. “Pretty sure the FBI is going to be here soon and I look like death.”

 

“I can take you back to your place to have a shower,” Seamus offers. 

 

Reed, Chiv and Rita look at each other, then Chiv shrugs. “Sure. Why not.” He rolls his eyes. “Gotta look nice for the feds.”

 

There’s a brief discussion, and it’s decided that Chiv and Reed will go shower and Seamus will drive them. Rita, Connor and Torpedo are holding down the fort. Torpedo allows himself to get stuck back into his work for a while but is distracted by the sight of Connor, who’s sitting across from him with his head in his hands. 

 

“I suppose asking you if you’re okay is kind of pointless,” Torpedo says finally.

 

Connor laughs hollowly. “A little, yeah.”

 

“We’re all going to be okay,” Torpedo promises.

 

Connor just stares at him. “How?”

 

Torpedo doesn’t have any answers. 

 

He goes back to his computer. 

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Rita making sure that Connor’s eaten and had plenty of water and Torpedo allows himself to relax a little and focus on his work, knowing that Connor’s in good hands. He half-listens to their catch up conversation and learns that Heidi and his mom are heading to the airport to pick up Hannah’s family, that Gus is at the hospital with Zoe and that Connor’s had a couple of hours sleep and a shower and breakfast. 

 

It feels like no time at all has passed when Reed and Chiv, both changed and showered and looking a little less exhausted. They’ve also brought sandwiches, and Torpedo’s handed one which he eats with one hand while continuing to work. 

 

He’s starting to get a bit of a headache, which makes sense given that he hasn’t slept either. 

 

“Take a break,” Rita says to Torpedo. “Just a short one. You look frustrated.”

 

“I am,” he grumbles, then shuts his laptop and sighs. Rita hands him a packet of cookies and he takes a couple. 

 

He looks out into the afternoon and sees two figures approaching, both in suit jackets. One’s smaller than the other, probably female, and the other is about his height and male. 

 

Torpedo guesses this must be the FBI agents. 

 

As they get closer, he’s surprised to see a face he recognizes. 

 

“You must be Special Agents Brewer and Fence,” says Chiv, standing up to shake their hands, Reed at his side. Torpedo watches them as they approach. The clone seems mildly taken aback by Chiv’s blue mohawk and Reed’s pink hair, but doesn’t seem particularly ruffled by the fact that he’s looking at his own face. 

 

“You must be Chiv Yu and Reed Albrecht,” the woman replies, and Torpedo’s not sure whether she’s Brewer or Fence, until something rings a bell in his mind. 

 

“Wait, Noah Fence?” 

 

The clone sighs deeply and the woman, who must be Brewer, cracks up laughing. 

 

“Hear that, Noah? Your reputation precedes you.”

 

“Not really,” says Torpedo with a smirk. “It just stuck out to me when I found out that one of the clones was literally called Noah Fence.”

 

Connor looks equal parts dubious and amused. “That’s seriously your name? Do your parents hate you?” 

 

“I go by Drew,” says the FBI clone, looking annoyed. “My middle name is Andrew. No one calls me Noah.”

 

“Except me,” Brewer says with a grin. “When I want to piss him off.”

 

“Which is most of the time.”

 

“An FBI agent named Noah Fence,” says Rita, looking absolutely delighted. “People must think you’re joking.”

 

“Christ Almighty,” says Brewer, looking around the room at the identical faces. “I didn’t expect there’d be so many of you.” 

 

“I’m Torpedo.” He waves a little. 

 

“Your parents named you Torpedo?”

 

“No, my parents named me Marvin.”

 

Brewer laughs again. “See, Noah? Could be worse.”

 

“This is Connor,” Reed says, gesturing in his direction. 

 

Brewer immediately looks interested. “You’re one of the twins, aren’t you.”

 

Reed kind of tenses. “I guess you’ve done your research,” they say, their voice even.

 

“I’ve been following this human cloning business for a long time,” Brewer says, her expression a little amused but serious. “Over ten years now.”

 

“What about you?” Chiv asks the ridiculously named Noah Fence, who Torpedo is just going to call Agent Fence because the pun is just too much for him to handle right now. 

 

“Obviously I’ve done my research, too,” says Fence, his expression absolutely blank. “Given the… personal connection.”

“How long have you been an FBI Agent?” Rita asks. 

 

“Nearly three years.”

 

“Shall we get down to business?” says Chiv, and the way he’s looking at Brewer and Fence is calculating. Torpedo thinks it was a clever move of the FBI to send someone with their face. He guesses it was to make them more willing to cooperate. 

 

But Torpedo’s not about to forget that not everyone with this face has their best interests at heart. 

 

“Is there somewhere we could talk in private?” Brewer asks politely, pointedly not looking at Connor, Torpedo, Rita and Seamus. 

 

“We’re fine in here,” says Chiv, equally politely. “I trust everyone in this room.”

 

It looks like Brewer wasn’t expecting that. She and Fence exchange a look, then look back at Chiv. Brewer nods. “Alright.”

 

Seamus is watching the FBI agents intently, and Torpedo figures that a decent chunk of what Seamus is good at is flying under the radar, away from law enforcement, so this is probably a little strange. Still, Torpedo doesn’t think that anyone but people who know him would notice, since Seamus has one hell of a poker face. 

 

Chiv explains, clearly and concisely, exactly what happened at ERAS on Friday afternoon as best he can, and the challenges they’ve had to face since. Not being able to confirm who was in the building. Their security systems being compromised. Torpedo’s work trying to get them back in. 

 

When Torpedo’s mentioned, Agent Fence looks right at him, and there’s something calculating in his gaze. 

 

Torpedo’s not about to admit to the FBI that a decent chunk of the information he’s provided about DYAD over the years has been stolen, hacked or illegally obtained, but he figures it’s no worse than what they get up to. 

 

When Chiv’s finished, Brewer and Fence look at each other again, and Brewer starts talking. “We’ve had an anonymous tip,” she says, and Fence’s face is still maddeningly blank. “Regarding Evan Hansen.”

 

Connor starts in his chair. “What about Evan?” he demands. 

 

“All we know is that DYAD wants Evan Hansen,” Fence says, his tone even. “We don’t know why. We have reason to believe they’ve extracted him.”

 

“Extracted is a nice word for kidnapped,” says Seamus darkly. 

 

Torpedo looks over at Connor, who’s gone deathly pale. Paler than Torpedo’s ever seen him. “What are they doing to him?”

 

“We don’t know,” Brewer says, and her tone’s even as well, but there’s genuine sympathy in her eyes. “Like I said, anonymous tip. We got it the day before the incident.”

 

Connor’s eyes widen. “You could have said something,” he practically spits out. “So we could have kept him safe. If you knew this was going to happen-”

 

“We didn’t,” Fence interrupts. “The tip was completely anonymous. All it said was ‘DYAD wants Evan Hansen’. That’s it. That’s all. Nothing else.”

 

Brewer shoots Fence a look and Torpedo’s willing to bet that he wasn’t supposed to have said that. Maybe sending a clone is backfiring just a little bit. 

 

There’s something harrowing about seeing someone who looks just like you as fucking devastated as Connor does right now. 

 

“So what’s being done?” Reed asks firmly. “If we know for sure it’s DYAD, then we’ve got to find where they’ve taken Evan and get him back. What do you need from us?” 

 

“A list of the ERAS employees who used to work for DYAD,” Brewer says. “We’re particularly interested in anyone one who worked in the part of the building that blew up.” 

 

“Did you find out where the explosion originated?” Fence asks. 

 

“Our neuroscience department,” Chiv replies, frowning. “We’re still trying to get into our servers. Someone’s infiltrated them, which is making finding out who’s missing difficult.”

 

“We can send some of our information guys out here,” Brewer says, pulling out her phone. 

 

“I’ve got it,” Torpedo replies tersely. “Or at least, I will. Whoever’s done this - they know what they’re doing.”

 

“So we won’t have that list until you can get back on your servers, is that right?”

 

“Not exactly,” Chiv says all of a sudden, as if he’s just realized something. “I sent the list of former DYAD employees to my personal email.” Brewer and Fence exchange a look, and Reed looks a little surprised. “This is something we’ve been keeping an eye on. I had a chat with Evan about it just last month.”

 

“Beanpole might have more information as well,” Torpedo points out. “He’ll be here tomorrow, right?”

 

“Beanpole?” Fence asks, frowning a little. 

 

“Charles Booth,” Brewer says immediately. “They call him Beanpole.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because he’s tall.”

 

“Yeah, we all are.”

 

“Do you think it was someone at ERAS?” Connor says, and everyone stops to look at him. His voice is low and dangerous and Torpedo is, for a moment, reminded of the few times he’s seen Gus like this. “Someone at ERAS who was a double agent and who made this happen?” 

 

“It’s possible,” Brewer replies. 

 

“And you didn’t think to maybe  _ not _ hire ex-DYAD employees?” Connor demands. “For this very reason?”

 

“Not everyone who worked for DYAD-”

 

“I don’t care! My fiancé is missing and you’re telling me it was someone who worked here who caused it,” Connor snaps. “You should have been more careful.”

 

Reed bristles. “Chiv’s done a thorough background check on everyone ERAS has ever hired.”

 

“Yeah, and that worked out well.”

 

“Connor,” says Seamus, his tone soft but warning. 

 

“Haven’t DYAD done enough?” 

 

Everyone’s silent for a long moment. 

 

Torpedo’s a little surprised that it’s Agent Fence who breaks the silence. 

 

“We are going to do everything we can to find your fiancé,” he says, and there’s actual emotion on his face. “We’re going to find DYAD and we’re going to get your fiance back to you.”

 

Connor doesn’t look convinced, exactly, but he all but deflates, sinking back into his chair and looking at the floor. Torpedo watches as he wipes his face. Clearly, he doesn’t want anyone to point out that he’s crying. 

 

“If there’s anything you need, just let us know,” Chiv says. “Anything at all.”

 

Fence nods, and Brewer offers a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “We’re going to get ourselves situated at the hotel,” she says, “but here’s my number and my email. Send that list through. Let me know when you find anything else. We’ll be in touch.”

 


	15. FOURTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannah's family arrives.

Hannah’s family are too nice to have to deal with the fact that Hannah’s unconscious in a hospital bed, Zoe thinks. They’re too nice, and too kind, and too welcoming, and have been through enough. They shouldn’t have to deal with this, too. 

 

She can’t say she isn’t glad to see Ruth and Daniel, though. 

 

They arrive at the hospital in the afternoon, both looking like they haven’t slept at all. Hannah’s mom Ruth gives Zoe a hug immediately then goes straight to sit at Hannah’s bedside. Ruth is pale but she looks like she simply refuses to burst into tears, which Zoe’s a little jealous of because she doesn’t seem to be able to stop herself. 

 

Daniel gives her an awkward hug as well. Hannah’s little brother isn’t quite as tall as the clones, but he’s taller than Zoe and far taller than Hannah. He offers up a sad smile and quietly asks Zoe how she’s doing, then immediately realizes that there’s a dog in the room and brightens a little. 

 

“This is Pampushka,” says Gus, smiling. “You must be Hannah’s brother Daniel. She tells me of you. Says you are in college and train to be teacher, yes?” 

 

Hannah’s family know about the clones. Specifically, they know that Zoe’s brother is one. It was one of those things that couldn’t really be helped, considering that Ruth and Daniel, like everyone else, had been under the impression that Connor killed himself when Zoe was sixteen. 

 

Both Ruth and Daniel have met Connor before but this is Daniel’s first time meeting Gus. To his credit, he doesn’t seem to be worried about the clone thing at all. Zoe remembers Hannah telling her about Daniel’s reaction when she told him that her girlfriend’s dead brother was alive and part of an illegal human cloning experiment. 

 

Apparently it was, quite literally: “Huh. Weird.” 

 

Daniel kneels down to properly fuss over Pampushka, who seems absolutely delighted to have made a new friend. Zoe sits down next to Ruth and feels her heart wrench once again as she looks at Hannah’s still form. 

 

“They think she’ll wake up soon,” Zoe tells Ruth quietly. “They think. They don’t know.”

 

“Would I be able to talk to the doctor?” Ruth asks. “Just so I’ve got a better idea of what we’re dealing with.” She looks around the room for a moment. “How’d you manage to get such a nice room?”

 

“I bribed the hospital.” 

 

Ruth sighs. “You didn’t have to do that.”

 

Zoe shrugs. “This is the best use of the ridiculous amount of money my parents left me when they died, trust me.”

 

She’d do anything for Hannah. 

 

Anything at all. 

 

Gus stands up and looks at Ruth. “Hello again, Ruth,” he says, his voice gentle. “It is nice to see you. I wish it were for a better reason.” 

 

Ruth smiles. “Hi Gus. You’re looking after Zoe?” 

 

Gus smiles. “Always.” He turns to Zoe. “Would you like that I find the doctor for Ruth? Give you some time with Hannah’s family.” 

 

“That would be great,” Zoe replies gratefully. Gus and Pampushka head out into the hospital and Daniel takes Gus’s seat. 

 

“Have you slept?” Ruth asks. 

 

“No, but I’ve eaten and I’ve showered.” It looks like Ruth’s about to argue, so Zoe keeps talking before she can. “What’s the plan? I’m guessing you’re staying for a while.”

 

“Mom’s staying until Hannah gets out of hospital, at least,” Daniel says. “I’m playing it by ear. I’ve told my lecturers what’s going on but there’s only so much I can miss.”

 

“Do you have somewhere to stay?” Zoe asks. “Do you need me to find you a hotel? I can pay.”

 

“I’ve organized a hotel already,” Ruth replies. 

 

“Let me pay for it.”

 

“That’s very kind of you to offer, but-”

 

“Please.” 

 

Ruth sighs. “We’ll see.” 

 

Zoe supposes she shouldn’t be surprised. It took Hannah a long time to let Zoe pay for things for her, even though Zoe honestly thinks she has far more money than she’s ever going to use.

 

They sit there in silence for a while. Zoe wants to make some kind of small talk. She wants to ask Ruth what she’s been up to. She wants to ask Daniel how classes are going. But it’s just not right without Hannah. Hannah should be here, asking her mom questions about friends from temple and teasing Daniel about how one time he accidentally said that he was pregnant in a Spanish oral presentation. 

 

It’s not right without Hannah. 

 

Gus comes back with the doctor, who explains the extent of Hannah’s injuries to Ruth and Daniel. Zoe’s heard this all before but she’s still having a hard time processing it. 

 

Broken ribs. Broken leg. Internal bleeding. Traumatic brain injury. 

 

They’re confident she’ll wake up and once she’s awake, they’ll be able to assess things further. 

 

They’re confident she’ll wake up. 

 

Not sure. 

 

But confident. 

 

As far as Zoe’s concerned, confident isn’t fucking good enough. 

 

Once the doctor’s gone, Gus comes back in and gives Zoe a hug. “You should rest,” he says gently. “Hannah’s family is here. They will stay with her while you rest.”

 

Zoe shakes her head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Zoe,” says Ruth, her voice firm and no-nonsense. “You should get some rest. Even just for a little while. We’ll call you if anything changes, if she wakes up.”

 

“I…”

 

“You are very tired, Zoe,” says Gus kindly. “And to stay in hospital all day, is not good for you. We get you fresh air and some sleep, yes?” 

 

Zoe wants to argue. Needs to argue. But she knows she’s starting to lose it, starting to crack around the edges, and when Hannah wakes up she’ll just worry about Zoe if it looks like she’s not doing great. So for Hannah’s sake, she needs to get a grip. 

 

And sleep would probably help, she thinks. 

 

She lets Gus and Pampushka guide her out of the hospital in a bit of a daze. 

 

Hannah’s safe. 

 

She’s safe with her mom and her brother. 

 

Zoe doesn’t realize she’s crying until they get to Gus’s van and Gus pulls her into a hug and she just sobs and sobs and sobs for what feels like hours. 

 

She falls asleep in Gus’s van and only wakes up when they get to her apartment, where she climbs into bed without arguing. 

 

When she wakes up, she can hear voices, so she heads into the lounge to find Gus and Connor both sitting on the sofa. Connor’s pale as a ghost and Gus looks… angry. 

 

It’s not often that Zoe sees Gus angry, but every time she does it’s a shock and a stark reminder that Gus is fucking lethal. 

 

That Gus is not to be fucked with. 

 

“What happened?” she asks, and the twins turn to look at her. 

 

Connor’s face is tight with grief. 

 

“DYAD has Evan.”

 

* * *

Connor watches as Zoe’s face goes white, then red.

 

“Why?” she demands. “What are they doing with him?”

 

“I don’t know. No one knows. The FBI got an anonymous tip. All it said was ‘DYAD wants Evan Hansen’. Now ERAS is a pile of rubble, and Evan is missing. Makes it pretty fucking obvious what’s happened.”

 

Zoe looks absolutely furious, and Connor thinks he’d be just as fucking mad if he could muster up any kind of emotion right now. 

 

“The FBI?” Zoe says desperately, like she’s latching on to the words. “What else did the FBI say?”

 

“Not a lot,” Connor admits. “But they’re on the case. And one of the agents is a clone.” 

 

“Jesus fuck, you just keep popping up,” says Zoe, and her voice is distant and Connor recognizes that she’s starting to shake where she stands. 

 

Gus stands up immediately and guides her to a spot on the sofa next to Connor. It’s like she deflates immediately. She rests her head on Connor’s shoulder and a part of him is grateful for the human contact. 

 

Another part of him just wants to scream and kick and punch things but he just doesn’t have the fucking energy. 

 

The whole day has been like a waking nightmare. He thinks he slept a little bit at Heidi and Seamus’s, though most of it was just staring at the ceiling and wondering if he was having some kind of out-of-body experience. Then he’d gone to ERAS, met yet another poor bastard with his face and found out that the FBI had gotten a tip about his fiance. 

 

Someone had contacted the FBI to warn them that Evan was in danger. 

 

Why hadn’t they warned someone at ERAS?

 

If they knew Evan was in danger, why not come to people who knew him? Who could protect him?

 

Probably because they knew ERAS wasn’t safe either. 

 

He’d kind of sat around at ERAS for a while, watching as Reed and Chiv and Rita and Torpedo ran around doing useful shit, but there wasn’t anything for him to do and it’s not like he had the concentration anyway. Seamus had gone back home to tell Heidi what they’d found out and Connor had…

 

Well, he’d wandered aimlessly around the streets of Boston for a while, until Gus called him and told him he’d taken Zoe back to her place and she was napping. So he got an Uber to Zoe’s and told Gus everything. 

 

Gus had not reacted well. 

 

“I find who takes Evan,” he had said, his voice low and dangerous, “and I stop them by any means necessary.” 

 

Connor doesn’t want Gus to have to do that. 

 

Connor doesn’t want Gus to have to hurt anyone again. He doesn’t want him to have to rely on those skills he learned as a kid. He doesn’t want him to have to go back there. 

 

But it’s Evan. 

 

Hell, if Connor had even a fraction of Gus’s skills, he’d fuck everyone up himself. 

 

It takes him a moment to realize Zoe’s talking. 

 

“So where do we start?” she asks, eyes narrowing. She’s more alert now, and she’s pissed. She’s seriously fucking pissed. “Trying to find DYAD. We’ve got to start somewhere. I can hire someone, maybe. A private investigator? I’ve got enough money for it.” 

 

“They think it was an inside job,” Connor says wearily. “So I guess we start with ERAS. Chiv’s got a list of people who used to work for DYAD, it’s the only lead they really have.” 

 

“Seamus knows more than he’s saying, I’m sure of it.”

 

Gus and Connor exchange a look. 

 

“This is possible,” Gus admits. “We can talk to him. Find out what he knows.”

 

“Whoever did this,” Connor says slowly, “knew what they were doing. They fucked up the computer systems so much that it’s taking Torpedo ages to get in. And Torpedo knows his shit when it comes to computers. They’ve probably covered their tracks.”

 

Zoe’s face drains of color. “This isn’t like last time,” she says darkly. “This isn’t like being able to storm in and make some kind of grand rescue. Last time at least we knew where the fuck you were. Now we’ve got to fucking find where they’ve taken Evan and why they’ve got him and what they’re going to do and what’s their actual end game. We just don’t fucking know any of it.” 

 

“We will find out,” Gus promises. “We will find out, and we will stop them, and we will get Evan back. But for this, first we need strength.” He looks at both of them. “Both of you are very tired. Very drained. Long night, not much sleep, many feelings. I think today there is not much we can do. Maybe tonight it is best that we have dinner, then sleep. FBI starts to look. ERAS starts to look. We have no information yet. We must rest for strength. All of us.”

 

Zoe looks like she’s about to argue when Connor’s phone rings. 

 

He picks it up without even checking who’s calling.

 

It could be about Evan. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, is this Connor?”

 

The accent’s vaguely familiar. “Who’s this?”

 

“Dylan Fitzpatrick? We, uh, met in New York a few months back.”

 

It clicks into place. “Right, yeah. Sorry, you texted yesterday, sorry I didn’t reply, it’s been kind of… everything’s kind of crazy.”

 

“I saw on the news,” Dylan says in that weird accent of his. “Look, I don’t know if there’s anything I can actually do, but… I’m in Boston.”

 

Connor blinks. “You’re in Boston now?”

 

“Yeah man,” says Dylan. “I got a train? And there’s this weird old hotel I’m staying at, it’s kind of art deco and cool as. I can stay here as long as I need. I don’t want to get in the way or anything, but I figure maybe I can help somehow?”

 

“You came to Boston?”

 

“I’ve been staying in a backpackers,” Dylan explains, “so it was easy to just pack up and leave. Cheaper out here anyway, and I figure all the weird science shit means it’s probably some kind of weird as clone thing? I was talking to my mum and she says that it’s important that family’s there for each other, and I know it’s just genetics or whatever, but you lot are the closest thing I’ve got to a family in the US, so I figured I’d just… be here.” 

 

That’s… weird, but oddly kind. “Uh, okay,” says Connor. “We’re just… shall I come and see you?” 

 

“Only if you want to. It’s sweet as, bro. I can just chill here. Unless you need something?”

 

Right at this moment in time, Connor just desperately wants some kind of distraction. He’s been floating around all day, trying to get some kind of traction, trying to figure out what his next move is supposed to be and how he’s going to get Evan back but he’s just…

 

He doesn’t know what to do. 

 

He doesn’t know what the fuck to do. 

 

“Text me the address,” Connor says. “I think I know which hotel you’re talking about, but just want to make sure we’re on the same page. I’ll be there in about half an hour.”

 

“Sweet,” says Dylan. “I’ll, uh, see you soon.”

 

Connor disconnects the call to see Zoe and Gus looking at him expectantly. “That was Dylan,” he explains. “He’s another clone. We met in New York.”

 

“Is he the bad stand-up comic?” Zoe asks, frowning. “What’s he doing here?”

 

“He heard about ERAS on the news,” says Connor. “Came down to see if he could help.”

 

Zoe’s frowning even more now. “Weird,” she says. “I mean, you guys only met him a few months ago. He could be DYAD.”

 

Connor shakes his head. “I don’t think so. He’s only been in the country since March, and he really doesn’t strike me as some kind of criminal mastermind.”

 

“He is wanting to help?” Gus asks. He’s frowning a little, too. “How is he helping?”

 

“I just… it’s rude to just ignore him,” Connor says, a little defensively. “He came all this way, and… I don’t know, I could use the distraction.”

 

Zoe and Gus don’t look particularly convinced, but Connor’s made up his mind. “I’m calling an Uber,” he says firmly. “I’m going to head to where he’s staying and then maybe we’ll go out to get dinner or something.” 

 

“I do not think this is the best idea,” Gus says. He’s frowning more. “You are not knowing him very well. I think he means to be kind, but also I think that maybe you need to rest and be with family now.”

 

“He’s a clone,” Connor replies. “That’s kind of like family. Look, I just… I’m going, okay?”

 

Zoe laughs bitterly and looks at Connor, her eyes burning with anger. “So what, you’re just going to go run off with some weird clone from down under and forget this whole thing is happening?” 

 

“You said it yourself,” Connor shoots back. “We don’t fucking know where to start here. I don’t… for the last twenty-four hours I’ve just been sitting around, thinking about the fact that my fiancé is fucking missing and one of my closest friends is in hospital and I can’t do a fucking thing about it. And I can’t… I need to not be thinking about that right now.”

 

“Running away when things get hard has always been your go-to move,” Zoe replies, her voice absolutely laced with venom. “Nice to know you’re still fucking consistent.”

 

Gus looks at Zoe, frowning. “Zoe, there is no need to be unkind. But Connor, I do not think this is a good plan.” 

 

Connor looks at both of them. Feels the white-hot burn of anger in his stomach. “Good thing it’s not up to either of you then is it.”

 

He leaves Zoe’s apartment without another word. 

  
  



	16. FIFTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunday discoveries.

In the early hours of Sunday morning, Torpedo finally gets into the ERAS server. 

 

Reed and Chiv spend a few hours going through everything to find that as far as they can see, nothing’s missing. 

 

Which, honestly, isn’t that much of a comfort, as far as Reed’s concerned. 

 

They check the staff list against the list they’d compiled. Out of the 212 staff members at the Boston ERAS Center, only 153 were onsite at the time of the explosion. From that 153 there are 22 confirmed dead, 37 injured enough to warrant a hospital visit, 9 in critical condition and 45 still unaccounted for. The other 40 made it out of the rubble without any injuries barring some mild bumps and bruises, but pretty shaken up. 

 

It’s the 45 unaccounted for that freaks Reed out. 

 

There are other possibilities aside from them being trapped in the rubble or dead, of course. They could have escaped from the explosion and simply just gone home and not been counted as having survived. They could be at the hospital but not have been counted along with the injured. Seeing as they didn’t have a staff list to compare against, it’s entirely possible people have slipped through the cracks. 

 

As soon as they have the list of the 45 unaccounted for, Rita heads to the hospital to see if there’s anyone there they haven’t found earlier. By 9am, she’s called back to confirm that they can remove another dozen people from the list. 

 

They’re down to 33. 

 

Including Evan. 

 

It’s around nine am when Beanpole arrives. He’s obviously tired and shaken up, but he’s come prepared. It takes very little time for Chiv to get him up to speed with what’s been happening, and Reed can see the tension Chiv’s been carrying on his shoulders for the past two days start to lessen ever so slightly. 

 

Beanpole’s always been one of those people who makes you feel like he’s got everything under control. 

 

“I did some preliminary scouting for a new site,” Beanpole tells them, pulling out what looks like a notebook from his bag. “I’ve also managed to secure a venue for a meeting Monday morning where we can talk to all the staff who are well enough to make it and let them know what the plan is for the next couple of weeks while we get things sorted. After that, I’ll also be holding a press conference and releasing a statement about the explosion and what ERAS plans to do.” 

 

“What do we plan to do?” Reed asks. 

 

“I’m meeting with the New York ERAS center on Tuesday,” Beanpole tells them. “There’s a lot of crossover with what we’re doing at the New York branch, we can look at moving some of our departments there on a temporary basis. I’m also going to be meeting with Harvard to see if they have space for us to use on some of our less classified projects in their science department in exchange for opening up more internships once we get the new site sorted.” He sighs. “It’s going to be expensive getting a new site set up, but we do have pretty comprehensive insurance, and we’re doing well internationally. I’ll also be liaising with the international board - there are people in other sites who might be able to help. I’ve got an IT guy in Switzerland who’s offered help getting things sorted - he’s American, so no need to worry about any language barriers.”

 

“Sounds like you’ve got everything under control,” says Chiv, and he looks… embarrassed. Beanpole stops what he’s doing and looks at Chiv, his expression determined. 

 

“This is not your fault, Chiv. None of this is your fault, and you’ve done a splendid job dealing with everything so far.” Beanpole looks around the room. “That goes for all of you. Reed, Rita, Torpedo… you’ve all done marvellously in a terrible situation and I’m very glad to have you here.”

 

“It’s good to see you,” says Rita warmly, and something in the room shifts. Beanpole’s business-like expression crumbles, and all of a sudden he looks very, very young. 

 

“I’ve missed you all,” he says quietly. “It’s good to see you, too. I just wish it were under better circumstances.”

 

The morning passes by in a flurry of activity. Around midday, Lucas and Donna show up with a huge pile of Chinese food. Over lunch, Lucas lets everyone know that they’re heading back to Connecticut that evening but if there’s anything else they can do to just let them know. They’d spent the morning helping Zoe move things around at her apartment so Hannah’s mom and brother could stay with them rather than having to pay for a hotel, and let the group know that Hannah hasn’t woken up yet but the doctors say that her vitals are strong. 

 

“How’s Connor doing?” Beanpole asks, and he sounds so worried that it breaks Reed’s heart a little. 

 

Lucas’s face falls, and there’s genuine concern on his face. “Not good,” he admits. “He’s… Gus said that last night he ran off to hang out with that clone he met in New York and they haven’t heard from him since. From the sounds of things, he’s just trying to distract himself from what’s going on.” 

 

“Can’t say I blame him,” says Beanpole, frowning. “So he’s in New York?” 

 

“No, he’s in Boston. Apparently Dylan came down. He’d been staying in a hostel so could just up and leave.”

 

“Dylan,” says Beanpole, almost to himself. “There’s not a Dylan in America, from memory, but there is one in… Australia, I think? Or possibly New Zealand.”

 

“New Zealand, yeah,” says Reed, remembering the group chat. “He met him at a comedy show a few months ago.”

 

“Right,” says Beanpole. “I remember now.” He frowns. “What do we know about Dylan? Aside from the fact that he’s a very bad stand-up comedian?”

 

“Not a lot.”

 

Beanpole looks like he wants to say something. He doesn’t. 

 

There’s a noise from outside the tent. Chiv looks at Reed and the two of them head out to see what’s going on. 

 

Reed feels their heart leap to their throat at the sight of emergency workers pulling bodies from a hole in the ground. One of the workers comes up to them, face pale. 

 

“We finally managed to get down to the basement lab,” she says, looking terribly sad. “At least thirty bodies. No signs of life. I’m so sorry.” 

 

At least thirty bodies.

 

Reed’s blood runs cold. 

 

Beanpole, Rita, Torpedo, Lucas and Donna join them outside and they watch as the bodies are removed from the rubble in silence. 

 

Reed recognizes most of the faces as people they’ve worked with. 

 

The final body count from the basement lab is thirty-two.

  
None of those bodies are Evan Hansen.

 

* * *

 

Connor’s not answering his phone. It’s been twenty-four hours since she’s heard from him. 

 

Zoe’s more than pissed off - she’s fucking furious. 

 

How dare he just disappear with everything going on? Now she’s got one more thing to worry about and it’s more than she can fucking handle right now. 

 

Now it’s Sunday afternoon and she’s desperately trying to hide the fact that she’s so angry she could punch something from Ruth and Daniel. They’re both exhausted, having stayed with Hannah all of Saturday night, and Zoe’s trying to focus on being a good hostess and getting them settled in to get some rest at her and Hannah’s apartment. 

 

It’s been a long, tiring day. She’d barely slept on Saturday night, even though she was completely exhausted, and had spent most of the day at the hospital with Ruth and Daniel. Lucas and Donna had been kind enough to organize things at the apartment, which Zoe appreciates immensely. Gus had spent the morning with Steve and Penny but he’s at the hospital now with Hannah. 

 

And no one’s heard anything from Connor because he’s a fucking asshole. 

 

“Shall I make some tea?” Zoe offers, desperately trying to keep her anger at her brother under control. 

 

“I think we both just need some sleep,” Ruth says kindly. She smiles at Zoe. “You look like you could use some as well.”

 

“I’m going back to the hospital,” Zoe replies stubbornly. “I can’t ask Gus to stay overnight and I don’t want Hannah to be alone.”

 

She looks at her phone for what’s probably the millionth time. 

 

There’s a text from Connor. 

 

**From**

**Connor:**

_ Fuck off. Leave me alone. _

 

Zoe bites her lip to stop from screaming. 

 

“Are you alright?” asks Ruth, and Zoe shakes her head without even thinking of it. 

 

“My brother is being an asshole,” she spits out. “He’s just… he just ran off and I haven’t heard from him for a full day until just now when he texted me telling me to fuck off and he’s such a selfish fucking  _ asshole _ ...”

 

Ruth pulls her into a hug and Zoe sobs on her shoulder for an embarrassingly long time. 

 

“His fiance is missing,” Ruth says gently once they finally break apart. “That’s no excuse for his behavior, but he can’t be having an easy time.”

 

“None of us are,” Zoe replies miserably. 

 

When she gets back to the hospital half an hour later, Gus and Pampushka are there to greet her. Gus takes one look at her and pulls her into a hug so strong it almost lifts her off the ground. 

 

She shows Gus Connor’s text, and Gus’s eyes flash with anger. “I am sorry,” he says quietly. “I know that Connor suffers, but he does not need to lash out and give you more pain.”

 

“It’s like being in high school again,” Zoe says wearily. “It’s like… this is what it used to be like. Between us. All the time. Just hurt and anger and yelling and screaming at each other and… I thought we’d moved past this.” 

 

“I am sorry,” Gus says again. He looks tired and sad and Zoe doesn’t want to put him in the middle of this but she can’t control how fucking mad she is. 

 

“How are Penny and Steve?” she asks instead, and Gus’s face brightens as he tells her about how they went to the park and had coffee and how Penny and Pampushka had an adventure with a squirrel and it’s all tooth-rottingly sweet and pretty much exactly what Zoe needs to distract her right now. 

 

Gus excuses himself to go to the bathroom. A few moments later, a doctor enters the room carrying a tray. He’s not one Zoe recognizes. He smiles blandly, and there’s something about him that doesn’t feel right. 

 

“I have some medication for Miss Weiss,” he says. His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. 

 

“What’s it for?” Zoe asks. 

 

“It’s a painkiller,” he replies. “To keep her comfortable.”

 

Zoe’s skin is crawling and there are some serious alarm bells going off in her head. 

 

“I want to speak with Dr. Andrews before you give her any medication,” Zoe says firmly.

 

“He authorized this,” says the doctor.

 

“I want to talk to him in person,” Zoe insists. 

 

The doctor looks at her intently. 

 

Then he lunges at her. 

 

Zoe moves on instinct and blocks his attack. He tries to punch her, but she dodges it easily, and as he makes another swing at her she grabs his hand and throws him to the ground. It doesn’t take long before she’s got him pinned to the ground, her knee at his throat. The tray with the syringe is on the ground next to them and she grabs it, then holds it to his neck. 

 

“Tell me who you are and why you’re here,” Zoe hisses, “or I’ll pump you full of whatever the fuck it was you were trying to inject Hannah with.”

 

The man shudders, then blinks rapidly, and his eyes fill with tears. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this.”

 

“You don’t want to do what?” Zoe demands.

 

“They made me,” says the man, who is starting to shake. “They made me do things. They made me do this, I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

 

“Who made you do things?” Zoe presses her knee down a little harder and the man gasps. “Was it DYAD?” 

 

“Not DYAD,” the man replies, and his voice is taking on a manic tone and it’s freaking Zoe out. “They want you to think it’s DYAD, but it’s deeper. It’s deeper than that. It’s Neolution.”

 

“What the fuck is Neolution?” Zoe asks. 

 

The man takes in a deep breath. Then his eyes roll back into his head and he starts to shake even more. 

 

No. 

 

Not shake. 

 

He’s having a seizure. 

 

Zoe pulls away from him immediately and watches in horror as he starts foaming at the mouth, face red, eyes white. 

 

She can only watch as the room starts to flood with people. Everything’s getting a little hazy around the edges and her heart won’t stop pounding and she can feel Gus’s hand on her shoulder and the room’s getting louder and louder and louder until she can’t hear anything and 

 

The man stops moving.

 

His eyes are open. 

 

He’s still. 

 

There are doctors and nurses and then there’s a stretcher and Gus guides her to a chair. It takes her a moment to get her breath back.

 

Hospital security spends the next ten minutes asking her questions. They take the syringe to run tests on what it was he was trying to inject Hannah with. Part of Zoe doesn’t want to know. 

 

It’s terrifying. 

 

It’s fucking terrifying.

 

“I’m hiring private security tomorrow,” she tells Gus once the hospital staff have gone. “This can’t… this was an attack. Someone wanted to hurt Hannah.”

 

“Did you learn anything from the man who tried to hurt her?” Gus asks. 

 

“He kept saying that he didn’t want to be doing this, that they made him do it,” Zoe explains. “Then he mentioned Neolution.”

 

Gus frowns. “I do not know this Neolution.”

 

“Me neither.” She looks at Gus. “He said that it wasn’t DYAD, it was Neolution. That Neolution is… deeper than DYAD?”

 

Gus’s eyes widen. “We must talk with the others,” he says firmly. “This is important, I think. Torpedo is good with computers. Maybe he can help find more about what is Neolution.”

 

Zoe pulls out her phone. On a whim, she opens a browser and Googles Neolution, not expecting to find anything. 

 

She’s surprised when there’s a result. 

 

“Neolution is a club in New York City,” she tells Gus. “That doesn’t… that doesn’t make any sense.”

 

Gus frowns. “Maybe is a cover,” he offers. “A cover for something else. But is a good place to start, I think.”

 

“Gus,” says Zoe slowly, “Connor’s with a clone from New York City now.”

 

Gus goes pale. 

 

Zoe dials Torpedo’s number without a second thought. 


	17. SIXTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dylan orders onion rings.

Dylan thinks this bar is a bit of alright. The drinks are cheap, the music’s old school and Connor keeps buying rounds of shots, so it’s shaping up to be another epic night. 

 

A voice in the back of his head thinks that perhaps Connor shouldn’t be drinking quite so much, considering what’s going on for him, but a louder voice is saying that he should just let the bloke have a bit of fun. 

 

Dylan reckons that if he found out that his fiancé was probably being tortured by some kind of freaky underground science organization, he’d want to get absolutely smashed as well. 

 

He hadn’t really known what to expect when Connor announced on Saturday night that he was meeting Dylan at the hotel. It hadn’t been for Connor to show up in an Uber, tell Dylan to get his jacket and then head into the city to go bar-hopping until nearly 7 in the morning. Still, Dylan’s always been one to go with the flow and never one to turn down a chance to get wasted, so he’d been all for it. 

 

Saturday night was a bit of a blur of alcohol and dancing and weird conversations, and they’d crashed at Connor’s apartment when they were finally finished and the sun was well up. Dylan hadn’t woken up again until about three in the afternoon, and Connor was still out for the count, so he’d found the kitchen and made himself a cuppa and kind of looked around the apartment for lack of anything better to do. 

 

The whole situation had hit Dylan a bit harder when he saw a bunch of photos on the walls of Evan and Connor, looking happy and in love. There are other people in the photos with their face, along with an older guy and a blonde woman and a big fluffy white dog.  

 

It was all a bit too much to deal with, so he’d grabbed a book from the bookshelf and settled on the couch to read until Connor woke up. 

 

Connor had surfaced around six, swore a lot and then practically dragged Dylan out of the house again to yet another bar, where they’ve been ever since. 

 

Dylan’s ordered fries at the bar but Connor’s blatantly ignoring them, instead drinking shot after shot after shot of cheap vodka and not answering his phone, which is ringing a lot. 

 

“You should answer that,” Dylan says after what’s probably the millionth time the phone rings. 

 

“Fuck off,” says Connor, and downs another shot. 

 

“I’m serious, mate,” Dylan insists, a little uncomfortable. “Or at the very least you should message someone to let them know you’re alive. With all the shit that’s going down, they’re probably worried.”

 

“I’m not the one they should be worried about,” Connor snaps, but he does pick up his phone and fire off a text. “They should be worried about Evan.”

 

Connor’s voice breaks as he says his fiance’s name and Dylan’s really fucking sad all of a sudden. 

 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he says, without any real way to back it up. “I’m sure of it.”

 

Connor rolls his eyes and orders more drinks. 

 

They’re quite a few drinks in and Dylan hasn’t seen Connor eat anything since they first started hanging out, so he’s starting to get a bit concerned. He’s about to suggest they go somewhere and get dinner when Connor pokes his shoulder with more force than he probably needs to. 

 

“You. What’s your story, anyway? Why the fuck are you halfway across the world right now?”

 

“Oh, I’ve been traveling for the last five years or so,” Dylan replies, feeling like they’ve had this conversation before but choosing not to mention that. “I was in Europe for 2 years, then in South America, then I worked on the ski fields in Canada, then I came down to the States.”

 

“Another one of us did the whole wandering around the world thing,” Connor says. He takes another shot, then continues. “Ended up in Buenos Aires.”

 

“Oh real? I’ve been there. It’s pretty sweet.” 

 

“That’s what they say,” Connor replies. His expression darkens. “Then DYAD caught up with him and he got his head sliced open.”

 

Dylan just stares for a moment. “What the fuck?”

 

“That’s what these fuckers do,” Connor continues. “It’s what they could be doing to Evan. I have no fucking idea where to even start looking for him. I’m fucking useless.”

 

“But DYAD’s gone,” Dylan says, frowning. “I remember that bit. It’s ERAS now, right?”

 

“DYAD’s not gone. DYAD’s never going to be fucking gone because there are genuinely evil people out there who think it’s perfectly acceptable to destroy people’s lives and perform horrible experiments on innocent human beings.”

 

Dylan doesn’t know what to say to that, so he takes another shot. 

 

“But you guys, like, kicked their asses last time,” he tries. He doesn’t really know the whole story but he does know that they won. That the clones won. “You can kick their asses again.”

 

“Can’t kick an ass you can’t see.”

 

“I guess not.” Dylan pushes the bowl of fries toward Connor, who pushes them back. He takes a fry, eats it and then tries to figure out what to say next. 

 

“He could be dead by now.” Connor’s voice breaks, and it looks like he’s about to burst into tears, and Dylan’s struggling for something to say but before he can, Connor stands up, mutters something about the bathroom and disappears. 

 

Dylan watches as he heads off into the crowd, then goes to order some wedges. Maybe Connor will want to eat those. He’s pretty positive he needs to get some kind of food into Connor in the next little while, but he’s not sure how. After a moment, he orders some onion rings as well. 

 

Connor comes back nearly twenty minutes later, looking a little happier. Dylan’s relieved to see that he does start eating the onion rings and the wedges, and even though he does order another round of shots, at least he’s eating. 

 

“I was like obsessed with The Hobbit when I was a kid,” Connor confesses, almost cheerfully. “Then the first of the movies came out when I was 12 and I was like ‘what the fuck, why are there three films for one book?’ but I watched them anyway. New Zealand is pretty.”

 

“I know a bunch of people who were in The Hobbit,” Dylan comments, eating another onion ring. “Then again, it’s hard to find someone in New Zealand who doesn’t know someone who was in The Hobbit. It’s not a big country.”

 

“You could have been an elf.”

 

Dylan snorts. “Not when I was 12, dude.”

 

“A baby elf.”

 

They both crack up at the thought. 

 

Dylan doesn’t know why Connor’s mood’s changed all of a sudden but it’s definitely better than him just being super sad, so he’s gonna roll with it. 

 

“So you’ve actually never met another clone before you met me?” Connor asks, sounding genuinely surprised. “That’s so fucking weird. Especially if you’ve been traveling. We’re all over the place. Like, there are so many of us. My sister reckons that whoever made us just got a t-shirt gun and started shooting out embryos, it’s so fucked.”

 

“Nah man,” says Dylan. “I totally haven’t met one before you. Then again, I’m not, like, super observant? So maybe I did and I didn’t remember. Who the fuck knows?”

 

“Weird,” say Connor. He eats another onion ring then drinks some more of his beer. “I met my first clone when I was seventeen.”

 

“Oh yeah?” 

 

“Yeah, it was super fucked up. He, like, died in front of me. And then I met three more clones, and then I met another clone who was French and a total asshole, then I met Gus who’s my twin but at first, he tried to kill me, which wasn’t very nice of him, but it was a whole thing… you should meet Gus. He’s a really good guy.”

 

“He tried to kill you?” 

 

Connor shrugs. “Well, yeah, but that was like ten years ago, I’m over it. And he doesn’t kill people anymore now. He washes dogs.”

 

“He washes dogs?”

 

“Yeah, and he trains them and also runs a doggy daycare with my sister.” Connor drinks another one of the line of shots in front of them. “My sister thought I was dead for three years, that was wild.”

 

“Your sister thought you were dead for three years?” 

 

Connor nods, then downs the last three shots in quick succession. “I’m gonna get some more shots,” he announces, then disappears again. 

 

When Connor comes back, it’s another twenty minutes later and he’s definitely very, very drunk now, but he’s laughing at something and he hasn’t actually brought any shots with him. 

 

“Oh fuck,” he says, laughing even more. “I didn’t get shots. I’ll get shots!” 

 

“Mate, I don’t know if we need more shots-”

 

“Tequila sounds good,” he announces, and then he’s off again. 

 

Dylan’s trying to figure out how he’s going to cut Connor off when all of a sudden someone is grabbing his arm. Hard. 

 

“Where’s Connor?” 

 

He turns to see a girl with long, dark blonde hair staring at him, her expression one of absolute fury. 

 

“He’s just gone to get shots,” he replies. “Who the hell are you?”

 

“I’m his sister,” she spits out, “and both of you are coming with me.”

 

Connor comes running up behind her, frowning, and he looks at Dylan with a dark expression, and he’s wearing a different shirt, and… 

 

Oh, right. 

 

This must be the twin.

 

There is a dog next to him. 

 

A big fluffy white dog at a crowded bar. 

 

Dylan can’t quite help but laugh. 

 

The sister - Zoe, Dylan thinks her name is - glares at him and if looks could kill she’d be underground. “I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, but you’re going to tell me everything you fucking know about Neolution or I’m going to break your neck.”

 

Dylan blinks. “Whoa. Harsh.”

 

Connor comes back with a bunch of shots and stops in his tracks when he sees his twin and his sister. “I don’t have enough shots for everyone,” he announces. “You two have to get your own.”

 

“You’re coming with us,” says Zoe darkly, and she takes Connor’s arm and practically drags him out of the bar. Dylan follows, because he’s not sure what’s going on and also because the twin - was his name Gus? - is every so subtly making sure he doesn’t go anywhere. 

 

Gus looks like someone who’s not to be fucked with. 

 

Then they’re being all but thrown into a van and Connor starts laughing and Dylan starts laughing as well even though he’s not sure why because he’s pretty drunk by this stage and whatever’s about to happen is probably going to make for a good story. 

 

It feels like no time at all when they’re at what looks like an office building. Then they’re being escorted up a lift and down a hallway and into a room and Dylan’s not sure what’s going on but he thinks he might be sobering up because what the actual fuck. 

 

There’s a guy with glasses who looks exactly like him and Connor, a short Korean dude with a blue mohawk, and another guy with very messy hair hunched over a computer who, on closer inspection, is another clone who’s also wearing glasses. 

 

“Neolution,” says the guy with the glasses, and this one’s British. “What do you know about them?”

 

“I have no idea what the fuck you’re on about,” Dylan swears. 

 

“That’s bullshit,” says Zoe darkly. “Someone tried to kill Hannah. They said they were from Neolution. The only thing we can find out Neolution is that it’s a club in New York - and you were just in New York. It can’t be a fucking coincidence.”

 

Connor starts laughing. “You can’t be serious,” he says, and from the tone of his voice, he thinks this whole thing is hysterical. “You think Dylan’s…” He trails off, and then he looks at Zoe, and his face falls. “Someone tried to kill Hannah? When?”

 

“Half an hour ago,” says Zoe, and she’s clearly pretty fucking pissed about it, and Dylan doesn’t know who Hannah is but she’s obviously important. 

 

“Chiv and Reed are at hospital with her now,” says Gus, and Dylan’s surprised that this one’s got what sounds like a Russian accent. “Also Dad goes too.”

 

“You think Dylan’s with DYAD?” Connor asks, and he kind of laughs, but then he looks at Dylan and his whole expression changes to something… 

 

Dylan’s starting to freak out. 

 

“I swear I have nothing to do with DYAD, or Neolution, or anything,” he says wildly. “I swear to fucking God, I don’t know anything about them and I’m definitely not with them, I swear.”

 

“Then why are you here?” Zoe demands. “Why come all the way from New York?”

 

“Because I saw what happened on the news and I wanted to help,” Dylan says. It’s sounding less and less convincing every time he says it, he knows. “I just… I was wanting to get away from New York anyway because it’s too expensive and I’ve never met clones before so I just… I can go, if that’s what you want, I can go anywhere else, I don’t care where, but I have nothing to do with DYAD. And I don’t even know what Neolution is.”

 

The two clones with glasses exchange a look. The one with the messy hair looks at Zoe. 

 

“I’ve checked him out,” he says. “Dylan Fitzpatrick, T94FF6. Born February 6, 2000. Graduated from the University of Wellington in 2022 with a Bachelor of Arts in Philosophy, then left New Zealand to travel. He arrived in the States in April of this year. He was in Chicago for a while, then New York. Before that he was teaching skiing in Canada, before that he was in South America, before that he was in Europe, then Japan. It’s been five years since he had a fixed address. No contact with any other clones until he met Connor. The only contact he’s had with ERAS is receiving the cure in late 2021.”

 

Dylan’s super freaked out that this guy knows all of this. “What the fuck, dude.”

 

“I don’t think he’s DYAD,” says the messy-haired clone with glasses. “Or Neolution, or anything like that. I think it’s just a coincidence, and bad timing on his part.”

 

Zoe’s face doesn’t change. “Are you sure?” 

 

“Doesn’t really make sense for him to be DYAD,” says the other clone with glasses, his tone almost thoughtful. “Not really.” 

 

“So you’re just a drunken idiot who’s gone on a bender with my asshole of a brother?” Zoe says, looking right at Dylan. 

 

“Uh, yes?”

 

Zoe takes a deep breath. “Fuck!” She kicks a chair over, then looks back at the British clone. “So it’s not a lead, then. This guy’s just fucking useless, and Connor’s just decided the best thing to do is drink away his problems.”

 

Connor snorts. “Fuck you.”

 

“Fuck  _ you _ .” Zoe gets right in Connor’s face. “Don’t you even fucking care that DYAD has Evan? That they tried to kill Hannah? Don’t you even care about finding out who these Neolution bastards are?”

 

“Of course I fucking care,” Connor snaps back. “I care so much it’s driving me fucking crazy, and I can’t fucking deal with it, okay? So sue me if I decided to take a break. To just not think about it for a while. I’m allowed a fucking break.”

 

Zoe looks at him for a long moment, and Dylan can see her expression shift. “You’re high.”

 

The room falls into an uncomfortable silence, and Dylan feels like a bit of an idiot. 

 

He probably should have picked up on that. 

 

“Like you’ve got any right to judge me on that,” Connor says to Zoe, his voice bitter. 

 

“I’m not the one who spent summer in rehab in high school,” Zoe replies, equally as bitter.

 

“Yeah, well I’m not the one who landed in hospital with hypothermia. Or told Evan to kill himself. Or-”

 

“Connor, that is enough.” Gus looks angry and sad all at once. He looks at Zoe. “I will take you back to the hospital to be with Hannah, then I will take Connor home to rest and will stay with him. We will talk of this tomorrow.”

 

Zoe crosses her arms defiantly. “If you think I’m just going to fucking let this go-”

 

“Of course you’re fucking not going to let this go,” Connor shoots back, “you’re just going to sit there and act like you’re fucking better than me when you’re every bit-”

 

“I said that is enough.”

 

Gus’s voice is quiet, but there’s something about it that shuts both Zoe and Connor up and makes Dylan feel like this is not someone he should be pissing off. 

 

“I’ll call an Uber,” says Dylan, for lack of anything else to say. “And, uh, if there’s anything I can do to help with… with this whole thing with Evan, let me know. I am really sorry and I do really want to help, I swear.”

 

“We’ll let you know,” says the British clone, his voice a little icy. “It’s probably best that you left.”

 

Dylan doesn’t need to be told twice. 


	18. SEVENTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnet and Bob.

It’s approximately four in the morning when Charles wakes up and realizes where he’s heard the word ‘Neolution’ before. 

 

He knows he should just go back to sleep, but instead he gets up and starts digging through the files on his laptop to find an address for Bob Buskirk. 

 

The original source of the Phanes DNA.

 

Charles hasn’t exactly kept in touch with Bob, but he hasn’t exactly lost touch with him, either. Bob’s technically an ERAS board member, though it’s more in name than anything else, and has invested considerable money in the organization. He likes to keep to himself, though, and Charles heard, he was still in New York. 

 

It takes a while, but Charles finds an address, then goes about organizing himself transport to New York. He manages to get a cheap flight, which is probably better than driving at this stage because he hasn’t really slept since he first heard about what happened at ERAS. 

 

It had been like something out of a nightmare. Tina had just left for Switzerland a few days prior, so Charles had been by himself when he got the news and hadn’t taken it particularly well at first. He’d spent at least an hour just looking at his phone, seeing the messages come in from ERAS Centers all around the world, hoping it was all some kind of horrible joke. 

 

Once he’d gotten it through his head that this was actually happening, it had been a non-stop parade of phone calls and plans and booking flights and trying his hardest to make a game plan to get things under control. 

 

Arriving in Boston and seeing the site for himself had been harrowing. 

 

The sheer relief in Chiv and Reed’s eyes at the sight of him had been almost overwhelming. 

 

But they’re starting to put plans into place. They’re starting to fix things. Rita found them a temporary office to use on Sunday afternoon and by the evening they were all settled in, meaning they didn’t have to be right next to the rubble that used to be Charles’ beloved Boston ERAS Center. 

 

Which was probably good for all of them, to be perfectly honest. 

 

It had also proved pretty useful when Zoe called Torpedo in absolute terror, explaining that someone had just tried to kill Hannah, had mentioned Neolution and this had led Zoe to jump to the conclusion that Connor was in danger because he was with a clone who’d just arrived from New York. 

 

Torpedo had tracked Connor’s phone, given Zoe the location and then promptly found out as much as he could about Dylan Fitzpatrick. Chiv, Reed and Rita had gone to the hospital to stay with Hannah (Chiv making sure to have a very strongly worded conversation with their security) and Zoe and Gus had dragged Connor and Dylan back to the office. 

 

It’s pretty obvious Connor’s in bad shape due to Evan’s disappearance. Charles just hadn’t realized how bad. He’d known vaguely that Connor had had issues with drug use as a teenager and had generally been kind of troubled throughout those years, but he’d never really seen Connor quite so aggressive. Zoe and Connor going for each other’s throats had been a little bit jarring, and he’s rather grateful that Gus managed to calm them down, at least a little. 

 

Charles is kind of glad that Dylan Fitzpatrick is just a slightly dim clone from the other side of the world who’s apparently not very good at stand-up comedy. 

 

By the time he gets to Brooklyn, it’s mid-morning. Charles vaguely recognizes the area from when he and Jenny Hetherington interviewed Bob back in 2021. He rings the doorbell and after a few minutes, a woman in black answers. 

 

Magnet still looks every bit as intimidating as she did all those years ago, albeit a little bit older. Her long, jet-black hair is pin straight, she’s covered in tattoos and piercings and she looks surprised to see Charles. 

 

“Phanes on my doorstep, once again. Do come in.”

 

Charles follows Magnet into the house. It’s quaint and a little bit old-fashioned, just like last time, and something smells rather good. Magnet guides him into a parlor, where Bob is sitting in an armchair, reading a newspaper and eating what looks like a scone. He puts down his paper and looks at Charles, clearly a little taken aback. 

 

“Why hello,” he says, his voice warm. “And which one might you be?”

 

“Charles Booth,” he says. “We’ve met before.”

 

Bob folds his newspaper and smiles. “Of course, do forgive me. It’s lovely to see you again, Mr. Booth. Would you care for some tea?” 

 

“That would be lovely.” 

 

Bob looks up at Magnet, who’s standing next to him. “Magnet, darling, would you be so kind as to make young Charles here a cup of tea? Oh, and if there are any of your scones left I’m sure he’d like one.”

 

Magnet smiles softly. “Of course, Granddad.” She heads off in the direction of what must be the kitchen, and Bob looks at Charles intently. 

 

“The last I heard, you were back in the United Kingdom,” he says. “I’m assuming this isn’t a social call.”

 

“I don’t know if you heard about what happened in Boston,” Charles replies. 

 

Bob sighs. “I did, yes. I’m terribly sorry to hear what happened.” He nods to himself, then continues. “I suppose your visit is related to this, somehow. If there’s anything I can do, I’m more than happy to assist.”

 

“Actually, I think your granddaughter might be able to help,” says Charles, just as Magnet comes back into the room with a tray. There’s a tea set and a plate of scones and it honestly looks absolutely delicious. 

 

Magnet’s eyes widen, then she takes a seat on the sofa across from Charles, curling herself up like a cat. “Of course. What would you like to know?”

 

“I’d like to know anything you can tell me about Neolution.”

 

Magnet and Bob exchange a look, then turn back to Charles. “Well,” says Bob, “I can tell you what I know from the early days and Magnet’s dealt with them more recently.” 

 

“The early days?” Charles asks, leaning forward to make himself a cup of tea. “What do you mean?”

 

“Neolution started as a sort of meeting of the minds within DYAD,” says Bob, frowning a little. “Run by a man named James Haines. He was what you’d call charismatic. Most of what he had to say seemed a little kooky to me, but he managed to get a lot of people seeing things his way. He was particularly interested in human cloning, and once they found out about my unique genetics, absolutely relentless in trying to convince me to donate my genetic material.” Bob’s face darkens. “He was responsible for drugging me during a board meeting and taking everything they needed to start Phanes.”

 

Charles feels a chill go through him at Bob’s words. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“What’s done is done,” says Bob, his voice trembling a little. He looks older, all of a sudden. “By the time Phanes was truly underway and there were surrogates and IVF babies all over the world, Neolution had formed its own… subsect, I suppose you’d call it. And they wanted a Phanes baby to raise in their own beliefs.” He sighs. “So DYAD gave them one. The first one born, actually. I think they called him Adam.”

 

“There’s a Neolution raised clone?” Charles asks, a little stunned. “We don’t… there’s no record of Neolution in any of the files we got from DYAD. Or a clone raised by Neolution.”

 

“That’s not surprising,” Bob says, nodding a little. “Adam was born on the 1st of January, 2000, here in the United States. He was one of the surrogate babies who was meant to be put up for adoption, but he was premature. Almost didn’t make it. DYAD gave him to Neolution. Cut ties with the Neos not long after. I think that DYAD didn’t expect Adam to survive. I wouldn’t know if he did.” Bob frowns. “I do remember his ID number, though. It was particularly memorable.”

 

“What was it?”

 

“AAY2K0.” Bob laughs a little. “Bit of an inside joke because of his date of birth. People were panicking about the end of the world back then. Y2K. In retrospect, it was all a bit of a bust.” 

 

“So that was it for Neolution and DYAD working together?” Charles tries to confirm. “They took a Phanes clone baby and just… disappeared?” 

 

“They didn’t so much disappear as went off the record,” Bob clarifies. “There were always murmurings of Neolution, but they simmered down as the years went by. I didn’t even realize there was a nightclub involved until I met Magnet.”

 

“Club Neolution has existed since the early 90s,” says Magnet, in that lilting, dreamy tone Charles is starting to realize is just how she talks. “As a teenager, I was fascinated with body modification, biohacking, transhumanism - ways to upgrade the body. Make it different, make it more. Preserve it, even prolong life.” A shadow passes over her face. “My mother was terminally ill. I was young. Naively I thought that there was something I can do, a way to keep her. A way to save her. She passed away when I was eighteen.” 

 

“I’m so sorry,” says Charles gently. 

 

“Once she passed, I moved to New York City, and I found Neolution. They promised creation. Innovation. Power. I… reinvented myself.” She moves her hand over the tea try and a teaspoon attaches itself to her finger. “Gave myself a new name. Subdermal magnets, inserted under the skin. A minor procedure, compared to some of the things that were being done at Neolution, but enough that it made me memorable. Helped me belong. Gave me a community I could soak in, I could relish - a way to be seen and connect to something greater than myself.” She smiles sadly. “Or so it seemed.”

 

“What happened?” 

 

“People came and went like ghosts. I thought it was just transience, the natural way of things. But I stayed. I heard things. Tales of the identical boys with the mismatched eyes, tall and lanky and unreal. Tales of Phanes.” She takes a deep breath, then lets it out and looks right at Charles. “You and your brothers. Neolution liked to whisper about you and I drank it all in. Wanted to understand. They created life. Neolution created life. But the more I found out, the more I realized that what they created… it was unstable. Unknown. Dangerous.” 

 

Charles takes in a deep breath of his own. “What do you mean by that?” he asks, his voice sharper than he intends it to be. 

 

“It’s what I believed, then,” says Magnet, her voice challenging. “I found out everything I could about the Phanes boys. There were deaths. So many deaths. So many of you, dead by your own hand. It wasn’t until years later I saw things clearer. Gained a fuller picture.” Her face softens. “Found my own connection.”

 

“It took us some time to find each other,” says Bob. He looks horribly sad for a moment. “My wife and I had Katherine long before Phanes. When DYAD drugged me and took my bone marrow and my blood, I was never the same.” He’s holding a cup of tea and his hand is starting to shake. “I became paranoid. Convinced that I was being watched. My marriage fell apart. My wife left, and my daughter… she thought I was crazy. She wouldn’t speak to me. I didn’t know she’d had Violet until she was nearly five years old, and even then she wouldn’t let me see her.” Bob looks at Magnet, his face apologetic. “Magnet, rather. I’m sorry darling, I know you don’t go by that name anymore.”

 

“Finding my grandfather came after I left Neolution,” says Magnet. She leans over and takes her grandfather’s hand and squeezes it lightly. “I wanted to know my family. My mother rarely spoke of them, but I did some digging and I found Granddad. I needed somewhere to go. Somewhere to belong.”

 

“I’d been alone for so long,” says Bob, his voice wavering a little. Charles can see he’s tearing up. “I hadn’t even known Katherine was sick. I never got the chance to say goodbye. Having Magnet here is a true blessing. These old bones aren’t what they used to be and she’s been looking after me, and I try to look after her, too.” 

 

Charles can feel a twisting in his chest at their story. Not for the first time, he’s struck with horror at what DYAD and Neolution did to this kind old man who shares his face. 

 

He can’t help but feel guilty. Knowing he owes his existence to such a violation. 

 

“What made you leave Neolution?” Charles asks. 

 

He’s not sure he wants to know the answer. 

 

But he has to. 

 

Magnet’s face goes pale. “I said that people came and went,” she says, her voice shaking. “That’s what I believed at the time. The truth is far more horrifying. Neolution may have presented itself as a place to express yourself, to be truly free, to test the limits of science and the human body, to create yourself anew. And it was, for some of us.” She bites her lip and continues. “Others were swallowed whole. Lost, lonely people, seduced by promises of re-creation, made into cogs in a larger machine. Torn apart. Ripped apart. Used to further Neolution’s agenda.”

 

Charles feels sick. “They were test subjects.”

 

Magnet nods. “One day I stumbled across something I wasn’t meant to see,” she continues, looking straight at Charles. “I’d seen many routine procedures, of course, even those more experimental. All consensual. All wanted. But Mary hadn’t been sure. She hadn’t decided if she wanted to be augmented. And they strapped her to a table anyway. Gagged her so she couldn’t scream, but kept her awake as they drilled into her skull and put… something in there. It made her stop screaming. They undid the straps, they let her off the table. They told her to jump on one leg. She did. They told her to do a cartwheel. She did.” Magnet takes in a deep breath and blinks rapidly a few times. “They told her to pick up the scalpel and slit her own throat.” 

 

She blinks a few more times and Charles can see she’s trying not to cry. 

 

“Did she?” he asks quietly. 

 

Magnet nods. 

 

“Did they see you watching?”

 

Magnet shakes her head. She takes another deep breath, wipes her face and looks at Bob, then back to Charles. “If they hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here. I knew I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I knew I couldn’t… I knew I was untethered. Disconnected. That there was nothing to stop them from doing something like that to me. So I stopped visiting the club. Gradually. Slowly. Enough to make it seem like I was losing interest, to avoid suspicion. But I…” 

 

Bob reaches over and takes Magnet’s hand. “We don’t go out much,” he says simply. “We keep each other safe. Only a handful of people know we’re here, and we like to keep it that way. It’s been some time, so I don’t think Magnet is on their radar anymore, but we’re careful.” 

 

Charles nods. “There’s an FBI investigation about what happened at ERAS,” he says, trying to keep his tone as even and kind as he can. “Would you be alright to speak with the agents? One of them is one of us. Phanes.”

 

Magnet and Bob exchange a look. “We could arrange something,” Magnet says quietly. “As long as we can be sure it’s safe. If they’re looking into Neolution… I’ll tell them what I know, but I won’t go back. I’ll never go back.” 

 

“If you’re worried, we can look at getting you out of the country,” Charles promises. “I have contacts. I could get you somewhere safe.”

 

“We’ll consider it,” says Bob, smiling a little ruefully. “I don’t travel so well these days, unfortunately. These old bones have been through an awful lot, Mr. Booth.”

 

Charles helps himself to a scone, and tries not to worry about the fact that he might have just made things a million times more complicated for Bob Buskirk. 


	19. EIGHTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monday morning at Gus's.

Gus does not sleep much on Sunday night. 

 

He brings Connor back to his apartment and makes him eat some food, even though his twin insists he is not hungry. Connor eats one waffle, and pushes the rest around his plate, and talks about how Dylan has a friend who was in Lord of the Rings, which has nothing to do with anything. 

 

Gus knows that Connor has taken drugs but does not know what he has taken, and Connor will not tell him.

 

Connor falls asleep on the couch, which Gus thinks is probably good, but he does not stay asleep. A few hours after he goes to sleep, he is awake again and does not look good. He says that he is itchy, and is very pale and looks sick. 

 

Gus makes Connor some tea and sits with him. Connor does not say much. He naps for a bit, but wakes up to use the bathroom often, and is very sick, and is coughing and blowing his nose much, and is also quite shaky.

 

Gus is very worried. 

 

He considers calling Dad, but it is very late at night, and he does not know if it will help. Connor has the regeneration, like Gus, and he should be okay. 

 

At least in his body. 

 

Gus is not sure about his spirit. 

 

Zoe sends him a message very late about what they have found at the hospital. She says that the hospital ran tests on what was in the syringe that the fake doctor tried to use on Hannah and found that it would have killed her. 

 

Gus wishes very much to be in two places at once, even though he knows this is impossible. 

 

He is very worried for Zoe and Hannah. 

 

He is very worried for Connor. 

 

He is very worried for Evan. 

 

Pampushka curls up on his lap and licks his face, and this is a comfort. Gus manages to sleep a little in the armchair in his lounge but wakes every time Connor is up to be sick and gets him water. 

 

It is nearly dawn when Connor falls asleep for longer than just half an hour, and Gus also falls asleep, and only wakes when he gets a phone call. 

 

He looks at his phone to see that it is nearly midday and that Steve is calling. 

 

Gus’s voice is scratchy because he has not slept well, and Steve notices right away. 

 

“Did I wake you up? I’m so sorry.”

 

“Is okay,” Gus assures him. “It is… long night. Bad night.”

 

“What’s going on?”

 

Gus is not sure what to tell Steve. Part of him feels that he must be cautious. Not tell him all of what is happening, because Steve is still mostly unknown. 

 

Another part of Gus is sure he can trust Steve. 

 

But it is better to be safe than to be sorry. 

 

“Is complicated. There is much I cannot tell you now. I am sorry.”

 

Steve’s voice is soft when he replies. “That’s okay. I can imagine that things are really difficult, and we haven’t known each other that long. You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with. Just know that I want to help if I can.”

 

Gus smiles despite himself. Steve is a very nice man. “You help already, very much. To spend time with you and Penny yesterday is very nice. Good distraction.”

 

“What’s the plan for today?” Steve asks. “Is there anything I can do? I could bring you lunch?”

 

“You are very kind,” Gus says, “but there are things I must do. Connor is… he is not good. His spirit is in much pain because we do not find Evan, and this is… this makes things difficult.” He sighs. “My brother and my sister, both very stubborn. Both sometimes will say things designed to hurt. There is much stress, much confusion, much pain.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Is not your fault.”

 

“I know. Just… let me know if I can do anything, okay? Even if you just want to talk. Anytime, really. I’m here whenever.”

 

“Thank you.” Gus smiles. “We should go to the park with Penny and Pampushka another time. Pampushka is liking Penny very much, I think. She has much energy, and is good at throwing sticks for Pampushka to catch.”

 

Steve laughs. “Yeah, she’s got a lot of energy, that’s for sure.”

 

“Is good, I think, for children and dogs to be together,” says Gus thoughtfully. “Both have much energy. Both have different view of life. For children and for dogs, life is more simple.” He sighs. “Right now, I am jealous of this.”

 

“I can imagine,” says Steve, his voice full of sympathy. “Stay in touch, okay? I could bring over dinner if you wanted. For you and for Connor. Just… let me know. Anything you need, really. Anything at all.”

 

Gus thinks that what he would like right now is for Steve to be here and to have a hug and maybe also some kissing, but he does not think this is something he needs, just something that is nice to have. And that now is not time to think about how Steve is a very good kisser, and is very handsome, and has a good heart and calls to make sure that Gus is okay. 

 

Now is the time to focus on his family. 

 

They talk for a little longer, and then Steve has to go to do some work. Gus can hear Connor throwing up in the bathroom again, and ends the call so he can go check on his twin. 

 

Connor comes back into the lounge and curls up on the couch. He looks like he is feeling a little better, and his eyes are clearer, but he is shaky and pale and there are very dark circles around his eyes. It makes something in Gus’s chest hurt. 

 

“How do you feel?” Gus asks, his voice low and gentle. 

 

“Like shit.”

 

“Is understandable. Last night, you drink a lot. Also, you are doing drugs.” Gus sighs. “It is many years since you are doing drugs, Connor. Many years. I know is important to you to be sober. I think going out with Dylan was a bad decision.”

 

Connor scowls. “Don’t you fucking start.”

 

“I am not saying this to be cruel, Connor,” Gus insists. “But you are very sick, and this is not good. You are already in much pain in your spirit, you do not need to also be sick, too. This is not good. You are hurting yourself more, and I do not want this for you.”

 

“This has nothing to do with you,” Connor spits out.

 

Gus is beginning to feel frustrated and somewhat angry. “That is not true,” he replies, his voice firm. “When you are in pain, this concerns me. You are my brother and I love you very much and I do not like to see you hurting.”

 

“Well, unless you know where DYAD’s got Evan locked up, there’s nothing you can do about it,” Connor replies, wrapping his arms around himself like he is trying to stay warm. Gus thinks he is shaking somewhat. Maybe he is cold. 

 

There is a blanket on the other chair, and Gus hands it to Connor. Connor just looks at it, his expression somewhat vacant. 

 

“What are you taking last night?” Gus asks gently. 

 

Connor shrugs. “Fucked if I know. Coke, maybe? Oxy? Both?”

 

Gus does not know much about drugs, but this does not sound good. “I do not mean to nag, or to be cruel, but I do not think this is good for you. You are not doing drugs for many years, and it is for a reason. It is because for you it is hard to stop. I worry that you are using drugs to deal with your pain, and think it is a dangerous road. It may be good that you talk to therapist.”

 

“It was one night out,” Connor replies, and his voice is bitter and harsh and Gus does not like it. 

 

“I am sure it was two.”

 

“Fine, two nights out. Whatever. I just needed to let off some steam.”

 

“I know you are in pain,” Gus says, trying to keep his voice calm. “I understand this. I do. These are very hard times for us all, and for you is harder because Evan is your fiance. Evan is very, very precious to all of us, but more to you, so this is of course the most hard for you.” He braces himself to say something he knows his brother does not want to hear. “But this is not excuse for you to be cruel.”

 

Connor’s face darkens. “Fuck off.”

 

“The way you are speaking to Zoe last night is not okay,” Gus continues. “She is also hurting, very much. Hannah does not wake up yet, and this gives her much worry. She loves Hannah as much as you love Evan, and she is in a lot of pain.”

 

“Yeah, well she had no right to give me shit for just going out and trying to distract myself,” Connor shoots back. “She gives as good as she gets, and you know it.”

 

Gus tries to stay calm, because this is true. Zoe and Connor are more alike than they want to admit to themselves, and in times like this it is a like gunpowder, waiting to explode. 

 

“You are working very hard to have a good relationship with Zoe,” Gus says. “Very, very hard. The fact that you did not have this in the past caused you much pain. I know this. I remember this. It takes a long time for you and Zoe to become close again. I do not wish for you to destroy what you have worked so hard for.”

 

“It goes both ways,” Connor replies stubbornly. 

 

“You  _ both _ need to be more gentle with each other,” Gus says firmly. “Especially now. Both of you. I will talk to Zoe later. Right now, you and I are talking, and I am saying that you must not speak to Zoe the way you did last night. Reminders of the past do not help now.”

 

“She’s being a hypocrite-”

 

“Do you remember how you felt when Zoe was drinking and doing many drugs and hurting herself?” Gus interrupts. “Do you remember how you were worried? She sees you doing this now, and is also worried, and this is normal, because you are siblings and care about each other very much.” He takes a breath. “I am very worried about you, Connor. I understand that you are hurting much in your spirit, and I will do all I can to help, but you must let me.”

 

Connor stares at him for a moment, then laughs a little. It is a hollow laugh, with no humor at all. “You know what you could do to help,” he says, his voice low and dangerous. “You’re fucking lethal, Gus. You’re a fucking weapon. All anyone else needs to do is find a location for these DYAD assholes and you could go in and kill them all and get Evan back. Fuck, you’re resourceful. You could probably figure it out yourself if you actually tried. That’s how you could help me, not by sitting here and giving me shit.”

 

Gus feels cold, all through him. He does not know how to reply to this. “I want Evan safe,” he says finally. “But I am not a weapon anymore.”

 

Connor laughs that hollow laugh again. “And I’m not a druggie anymore, but you saw how quickly I fell into old habits again.”

 

“It is not the same.”

 

“Isn’t it?” Connor looks straight at him. “People don’t change. We don’t fucking change.”

 

“That’s not true. That is not true, and you know it.” Gus tries to calm down his racing heart. His twin’s words are like a knife in the chest. “You are hurting. You are hurting very much, and you are lashing out, and I understand this but it is not fair. It is not fair to say such things to me.”

 

“You should have killed me in that parking garage,” Connor continues, his eyes dark with anger. “Do you remember? You tackled me to the ground. You had a knife. You were going to stab me. You should have just done it.”

 

Of course Gus remembers. 

 

He remembers arriving in New York, shipped across the sea like cargo. Locked in a box for hours and hours, completely alone in the dark, cramped and uncomfortable. 

 

He remembers living in an abandoned warehouse, full of rats and cockroaches, sleeping on the cold floor. 

 

He remembers gnawing hunger, twisting his stomach, struggling to find strength. 

 

He remembers tracking Ben Childs to Grand Central Station, brushing past him in the crowd, his knife at his side. He remembers the French clone arriving, seeing the two of them face to face, and knowing that soon he would be sending the abominations to hell where they belonged. 

 

He remembers Tatiana, telling him to follow the clones, to find the others, to rid the world of their evil. 

 

He remembers everything. 

 

He remembers the dark, and the cold, and the burn of holy water and the words of the bible and -

 

Pampushka barks loudly and licks Gus’s hand, and Gus puts his hand in her fur and tries to steady himself. 

 

He feels like he is the one who is stabbed in the chest right now. It is hard to breathe. 

 

It takes him some time to return to himself. When he does, Connor is staring at him, his expression horrified. 

 

“Gus. I’m sorry.”

 

“I think it would be good for you to get some sleep,” Gus manages to say, his voice shaking. “You are tired. You are in pain. Sleep will make you feel better. You can go to my room.”

 

Connor is pale. Very pale. “I have to leave.”

 

“Connor-”

 

“I have to get out of here.” 

 

“No,” says Gus firmly. “Connor, you should not be alone right now.”

 

Connor’s putting on his shoes as quickly as he can and Gus is trying to find the words to make him stay because he knows his twin should not be alone now but the words do not come. Instead he stands up, and grabs Connor’s arm, trying to stop him. 

 

Trying to make him stay. 

 

Gus does not know what will happen if Connor leaves now. 

 

He is afraid. 

 

He holds Connor’s arm tighter. 

 

Tighter. 

 

Too tight. 

 

Connor yelps in pain.

 

Gus lets go quickly. He feels sick. 

 

Connor is looking at him and his face is full of guilt and pain and horror.

 

And then he leaves. 

 

And Gus does not know what to do. 


	20. NINETEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fence and Brewer visit the hospital.

Torpedo’s a little taken aback when Beanpole calls him on Monday morning and tells him he’s in New York City. After he explains, it makes sense, but Torpedo’s more than a little concerned that Beanpole doesn’t seem to have slept. 

 

Torpedo knows he’s not sleeping properly. Neither are Reed and Chiv. Rita’s had to go back to her real job today and she’s bound to be exhausted. Zoe and Gus have been spending most of their time at the hospital with Hannah, and now that there’s been an attack they’re not about to relax. 

 

And who the hell knows what’s going on with Connor. 

 

If DYAD or Neolution or whoever’s responsible for what happened was aiming to destabilize and distract them, they’ve done a hell of a job. 

 

“So what next?” Torpedo asks Beanpole, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. 

 

“Chiv’s getting in touch with Brewer and Fence from the FBI,” Beanpole explains. “I’m heading back to Boston now to meet with the ERAS staff, then I’m back to New York tomorrow to talk to their ERAS Director.”

 

“Are you planning to get any sleep in between now and then?” Torpedo can’t help but ask. 

 

“Yes.” Beanpole’s reply is curt. 

 

“This whole thing has been chaos. We’re… none of us have slept enough, we’re all freaked out, we’re all… we’re all running ourselves ragged and I think it’s what those bastards want.”

 

“I’m well aware,” says Beanpole. He sighs. “There are reinforcements coming. Tina arrives on Wednesday with Miranda Gosse and her assistant Lili, along with Jared and Gaelle.”

 

“Jared Kleinman?” Torpedo says with surprise. 

 

He’s dealt with the guy before, but never face to face. Jared’s a computer guy as well. He set up the Facebook knock-off site for the clones to use and communicate, and also worked on some of the international data security channels. 

 

Torpedo’s also aware that Jared went to high school with Connor, Evan and Zoe, and was kind of an asshole. 

 

“Yes,” says Beanpole, in a tone that demands no arguments. “I trust him. We need to work on improving our information security, if Neolution managed to get in and lock us out so easily.”

 

“It wouldn’t have been easy,” Torpedo points out. “It would have taken time to prepare.”

 

Beanpole sighs. “Yes, well, we need to deal with it. Especially considering that you’re not an ERAS employee.” 

 

“Reed asked me to help. I wasn’t going to say no.”

 

“And I’m grateful for your help. We all are. But you have a job and a life. We need to handle this through the official channels.”

 

“Two heads are better than one,” Torpedo points out. “I’ll work with Jared. Between the two of us, we’ll get something in place.” 

 

Beanpole’s quiet for a moment. “I’d need you to sign an NDA.”

 

“Of course,” Torpedo replies immediately. “Of course. Anything you need. I’m not just going to sit around making dumbass video games while my family’s in danger, Beanpole. You know that.”

 

“I know.” Beanpole’s voice is a little shaky. Torpedo can hear a noise in the background, and Beanpole sighs. “Okay, I’m getting on a plane now. I’ll see you later on today, alright?”

 

“Alright.”

 

His mom comes into the living room of the hotel suite they’re staying in, drying her hair with a towel. Torpedo pours her a cup of coffee and they sit at the table in silence for a few moments. 

 

“I’m worried about Heidi,” Jenny confesses, her voice full of pain. “She’s determined to go back to work today, even though Evan’s still missing. She’s spent the whole weekend a complete mess but she’s absolutely determined she needs to get into a normal routine. She wouldn’t listen to Seamus or me when we said it might not be a great idea.”

 

Torpedo doesn’t disagree. Then again, he’s also known Heidi Hansen for a few years now, and knows exactly how stubborn she is.

 

“What about you? Do you need to get back home?”

 

Jenny shrugs. “I mean, I have everything I need to work from here. Charles has asked me to look through some old DYAD files later on today. See if I can find anything that might give us some more information on Neolution.”

 

“He went to New York and talked to Bob Buskirk,” Torpedo tells her. 

 

Jenny’s eyes widen in recognition, then she nods. “Of course. I didn’t even think of that.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “His granddaughter used to be involved with the Neolution club.” 

 

“He didn’t say exactly what he found,” Torpedo says, “but we’ll catch up later today.”

 

Jenny nods. “That sounds good.” She takes another sip of her coffee, then looks at Torpedo. “How’s Connor?”

 

Torpedo’s face falls. “Not good,” he confesses. “I haven’t heard how he’s doing today, but last night he was in pretty bad shape.”

 

“I’m not surprised.” She sighs. “This is tough, kiddo. This is all really, really tough.”

 

Torpedo doesn’t disagree.

 

* * *

 

Noah Andrew Fence, known to his few friends as Drew, legitimately has no idea what kind of career his parents were expecting him to end up in. It probably wasn’t working for the Federal Bureau of Investigation, considering that they cooked and sold meth for a living. 

 

Then again, the drugs might explain why they named him Noah Fence. 

 

He was born in Oregon in early 2000, sometime in the short period of time his parents decided they wanted to do the whole ‘live life on the straight and narrow’ thing. They had two kids via IVF. Felicity was just a year older than Drew, and they’d been close as kids. Really close.

 

Which was probably just as well considering that when Drew was three, Damien and Clarissa Fence decided they were bored with the quiet life in the suburbs and went right back to dealing drugs. 

 

One of Drew’s earliest memories was his parents teaching him how to lie to the police.

 

Now his parents are in jail, and he’s an FBI agent, and the last he heard from Felicity she was working as an elementary school teacher in Washington DC. 

 

He hasn’t spoken to his parents since he was eighteen and they got arrested.

 

He hasn’t spoken to his sister since he was twenty-one, found out he was part of an illegal human cloning experiment and was told that not only did he have a genetic illness that would kill him unless he was given a cure, his sister had been reporting on his every move for the past six years. 

 

When they were kids, it was Drew and Felicity against the world. Their parents seemed to have lost interest in the whole ‘raising their kids’ thing and pretty much only paid attention to them when they wanted something. They’d had to stick together to survive. 

 

The fact that she was his monitor isn’t something he can forgive. 

 

So Drew doesn’t exactly have a family anymore. These days, all that really matters is the job. 

 

A job that’s all of a sudden gotten weirdly personal. 

 

It’s midday on Monday when he and Brewer finally get to the hospital to talk to Zoe Murphy about Sunday’s attack on Hannah Weiss. They arrive in the hospital room to find it full of people. Drew recognizes Reed from ERAS with their pink hair. There’s a middle-aged woman who Drew thinks must be Hannah’s mom, sitting next to a young man who might be Hannah’s brother. And then there’s a long-haired clone sitting next to Zoe Murphy that Drew thinks for a moment might be Connor, only this one is accompanied by a large fluffy white dog. 

 

Must be August Sadler, then. 

 

August Sadler is a bit of a mystery to the FBI. They know he’s Connor Murphy’s twin, and that Connor and August are the only set of twins in the entire experiment. But there are holes in August’s story - big, gaping ones - and there’s something too perfect about his green card and no record of him ever having arrived in the United States. 

 

It’s not like Noah’s going to push, but he’s pretty certain that if he did look into it properly, he’d find that August Sadler’s cover story would fold under scrutiny pretty damn quick. 

 

There are security guards standing at the entrance of the room and it’s obvious they’re not hospital security. Zoe notices Drew looking at them and fixes him with a challenging stare. 

 

“I hired private security,” she says. “So we don’t have a repeat of what happened last night.”

 

Drew honestly can’t say he blames her. 

 

There’s a round of introductions, but they’re brief. Zoe Murphy doesn’t seem particularly pleased to see them, but she’s willing to cooperate, which is the main thing. Hannah’s mother Ruth and brother Daniel both excuse themselves to go get coffee, leaving Brewer and Drew alone with Zoe and August, who they quickly learn prefers to be called Gus. The dog’s name is Pampushka, and she’s a very intelligent Samoyed who’s registered as a companion animal, hence her presence in a hospital room. 

 

Gus and Zoe both look exhausted, but there’s something haunted in Gus’s expression. 

 

Zoe just looks mad. 

 

“If you could tell us in your own words exactly what happened last night,” says Brewer, her voice soft and understanding. “Everything you can remember. Any detail, no matter how small, could help.”

 

Zoe launches into the story, her voice steady and matter of fact. Brewer asks questions along the way, and Drew thinks back to the information he’d found on the attacker. 

 

Ross Black. 37 years old. Divorced. High school gym teacher. 

 

No connections to DYAD in any way, shape or form. 

 

It didn’t make any sense. 

 

“He kept saying he didn’t want to do this,” Zoe says with a slight frown. “That they made him. That Neolution made him do it. Then he had what looked like a seizure.”

 

“The autopsy results are unclear,” Brewer says, also frowning. “They’re having trouble confirming the cause of death, but they’re still looking into it. Trying to find anything they can.”

 

“I’m interested in how you managed to subdue him,” says Drew, looking at Zoe intently. “He’s got at least 100 pounds on you.”

 

Zoe looks back at him. It’s clear she’s pissed off. “I’m a mixed-martial arts fighter,” she replies. “I may not be big, but I’m quick, and he wasn’t expecting me to put up a fight.” 

 

“She is very fast,” Gus agrees. “Very fast, very talented. She wins many fights. Not to be messed with.”

 

Gus has a thick, almost Russian-sounding accent. Ukraine, Drew remembers from the files. He was raised in Ukraine. 

 

There’s not a lot in Gus’s files.

 

“It’s a good thing I did,” Zoe continues, her voice heated. “If I hadn’t stopped him, he’d have killed my girlfriend. So maybe stop asking me idiotic questions and focus on stopping whoever it is that sent him to do their dirty work.”

 

Gus shoots her a look that’s more than a little warning. Her expression doesn’t budge. 

 

Drew gets the distinct impression that Zoe Murphy is not fucking around. 

 

“We’re meeting with Charles Booth this afternoon,” Brewer says. “He’s been in touch. He’s uncovered some information about Neolution that will help the investigation.”

 

This doesn’t make Zoe any less frustrated. In fact, it seems to have the opposite effect.  _ “Beanpole’s _ uncovered information? Shouldn’t that be your job? What the hell have you guys been doing, anyway?” 

 

Drew braces himself. “Miss Murphy, I understand your frustration-”

 

“Don’t you fucking dare  _ Miss Murphy _ me, asshole,” she snaps. “I’ve had just about as much bullshit from your face as I can take right now.” She looks at Gus. “Sorry, Gus.”

 

Gus looks uneasy. “Is difficult situation, Zoe. Most difficult. We all do what we can.”

 

“Yeah well, it’s not enough.” 

 

Gus’s face goes pale and he looks horribly, horribly sad and Drew feels like there’s something he’s missing, but something tells him not to push. 

 

“Look, this whole situation sucks,” says Brewer, her tone frank. “And you’ve got every right to be pissed off at what’s happening to you. I promise you, Fence and I are going to do everything we can to get to the bottom of this, but you need to work with us, okay?” 

 

“I’ve told you everything,” Zoe insists. “I’ve told you everything that happened last night. I’m not keeping anything from you, I’m not lying about anything - I have nothing to fucking hide here!”

 

“Zoe?”

 

The room goes deadly quiet and Zoe’s eyes widen in alarm. 

 

Hannah Weiss is pale and small in her hospital bed but she’s awake. 

 

“Hannah. Oh my god,  _ Hannah.” _

 

Zoe’s entire demeanor changes as she rushes to her girlfriend’s side, eyes filling with tears. She takes Hannah’s hand and Drew watches as Hannah squeezes it weakly and looks at Zoe, her eyes a little unfocused but definitely awake. 

 

“I will get doctor,” says Gus immediately, standing up and heading out of the room. 

 

“Is Evan okay?” Hannah asks. Her voice is quiet and kind of slurred, but it’s clear enough that Drew knows he heard correctly. 

 

“Sweetheart, just relax,” says Zoe soothingly, pushing Hannah’s hair off her face. “You’ve been out for over two whole days.”

 

“Is Evan okay?” she repeats, her voice growing stronger. 

 

Zoe bites her lip. “We don’t know,” she says finally. “We don’t know, I’m so sorry.”

 

Hannah’s eyes widen in alarm. “I saw someone take him.”

 

Zoe stares at her for a moment, then looks at Drew and Brewer. “She’s only just woken up,” she says. “Don’t… you can ask questions later.”

 

Hannah follows Zoe’s gaze. “Are these people here to help find Evan?” she asks. 

 

“Babe, just relax. You don’t need to do this right now-”

 

“He helped me get out,” she says, looking right at Drew. “The ground… it caved in, and I could feel my leg was broken. Evan picked me up and carried me through the rubble toward the entrance of the building. We got to the lobby and then he collapsed and dropped me and I saw someone drag him away. I didn’t see their face. They were wearing protective gear. Then more of the ceiling must have caved because something hit me and that’s the last thing I remember.” 

 

Zoe’s staring at Hannah, her face absolutely horrified, and she takes Hannah’s hand and holds it tight. Hannah looks exhausted and leans back against the mattress, the explanation clearly having taken its toll.

 

“If you have more questions, you can ask them later,” Zoe says after a moment. “But at least now we can be sure a hundred percent sure someone took him, whether it was DYAD or Neolution.”

 

Hannah frowns. “DYAD?” she asks weakly. She sighs. “Of course.” 

 

Zoe bursts into tears and Drew’s heart goes out to her. 

 

All of a sudden, the room is full of people. Gus is back with the doctor, as well as Hannah’s family, and a nurse ushers Drew and Brewer out of the room politely. 

 

“I think it would be best if you came back tomorrow,” says the nurse, her voice pleasant but firm. “Give the patient some time to recuperate.” 

 

Brewer nods and heads down the hallway toward the elevator. Drew looks back at the room for a moment, then follows her. 

 

“Think she’s telling the truth?” says Brewer as the elevator starts moving. 

 

“I don’t think she has a reason to lie,” Drew replies honestly. 

 

“Me neither.” 

 

They’re quiet for a moment. 

 

“Do we take that as confirmation that Hansen wasn’t in on whatever went down on Friday?” Drew ventures. He feels like an asshole saying it, but he has to consider every possibility. 

 

Brewer looks at him, her expression determined. “I’d say it’s pretty clear that whoever the inside man was at ERAS, it wasn’t Evan Hansen.” She nods a little. “We’ll talk to Charles this afternoon and see what he’s uncovered about Neolution. Depending on what we find out, there’s someone else I think might be worth talking to.”

 

Drew thinks he knows where Brewer’s going with this. “Do you think we can convince Brown to let us offer him a deal in exchange for information?”

 

Brewer shrugs. “It’s worth a shot. He’s the only real lead we have on DYAD.”

 

They head back to the rental car, and Drew pulls a pile of files from out of his bag, flicking through them until he finds the one he’s looking for. 

 

Dr. Cliff Dubois, former DYAD scientist and Head of Operations at the Boston branch, currently in FBI custody in the aftermath of what happened at DYAD in 2021. Reading between the lines, it’s fairly obvious that Dubois was set up to take the fall by other people in the organization. 

 

He might be willing to talk. 


	21. TWENTY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost everyone gets some sleep.

Heidi looks exhausted when she gets home from work on Monday evening. She looks pale and tired and stressed and Seamus is immediately worried about her. 

 

Then again, he’s been worried about her all day. 

 

Well, no, actually, he’s been worried about her ever since ERAS blew up and Evan went missing. 

 

Seamus isn’t sure she should have gone to work today. She insisted that she needed to get back into some kind of normal pattern, but Seamus honestly doesn’t think that it’s helped. Heidi looks so tired and stressed and all he wants to do is wrap her up and protect her - or go out and shoot someone and get her son back. 

 

At this stage, he’d be good with either. 

 

He has to admit, he’s pissed off at himself. Pissed off that he didn’t see this coming. Pissed off that he hasn’t managed to stop it. Pissed off that he hasn’t managed to protect Heidi or Evan in this situation, or Connor or Zoe or Hannah. 

 

He’s supposed to protect them. He’s supposed to protect everyone. 

 

Fat lot of use he is. 

 

“How was your day?” he asks gently as she puts her handbag on the sofa and takes off her blazer. 

 

“Long,” she admits, closing her eyes for a moment. 

 

“Got a call from Zoe about half an hour ago,” he tells her. “Hannah’s awake.”

 

Heidi stares at him for a moment, then sighs shakily. “Oh, thank God.” She flops down on the couch, tiredness radiating through her, and Seamus sits down next to her and takes her hand. 

 

“Hannah said that Evan helped her get out of the building when it blew up,” Seamus says, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. “The floor of his office caved in and Hannah broke her leg in the fall. He carried her as far as the lobby before someone knocked him out and took him. Hannah didn’t see who, she passed out not long after.”

 

Heidi’s quiet for a moment, then starts crying. Seamus pulls her closer toward him and she sobs into his shoulder for a long time. 

 

“What does that mean?” she asks finally. 

 

“It means we need to find the people who took him and get him back,” Seamus replies. The words are simple, but he knows it’s nowhere near that easy. 

 

Heidi looks at him, her expression a little desperate. “The FBI’s involved, right? And they have leads?”

 

“Yeah, they have leads.”

 

Heidi nods. “Good. Okay, good.” She stares at him. “I don’t want you trying to play the hero on this one, Seamus.”

 

Seamus looks at her for a moment. “I have contacts,” he says. “There are things I could do to-”

 

“No. No, don’t. Please don’t. If anything happened to you, I… just don’t. Don’t put yourself in danger.”

 

He tries to figure out the best way to say this. “You know I’d do anything to protect the people I care about. That includes you and Evan. I’ve talked to people in my networks, I’m trying to dig up as much information about this Neolution group as I can.”

 

“Information’s great,” Heidi replies, “but you can’t go running into danger. Anything you find, you give to the FBI or do some kind of anonymous tip if you need to, but I can’t have you running off and playing action hero. I can’t… I can’t cope with that.”

 

Seamus doesn’t know how to reply. 

 

He’s never been one to care about his own personal safety. Not really. He spent seventeen years working more or less alone, doing everything he could to track down DYAD and the Proletheans. He’s put together a huge network of allies and informants, sure, but when push comes to shove, he’s always been the one to do his own dirty work. 

 

Always. 

 

The idea of sitting back and letting someone else handle this when someone he cares about is in trouble…

 

It seems wrong. 

 

Completely wrong. 

 

At the same time, though, he’s not as young as he used to be. He’s nowhere near as fit as he used to be. He’s been forced into semi-retirement after a nasty fall off a ladder a few years back fucked up his back, and he’s got to admit he’s been feeling pretty stiff over the last few days due to the lack of sleep. 

 

But who knows how long the FBI will take to track down Neolution?

 

Seamus has never been someone who trusts the government. Not back in Ireland and most definitely not in the United States. 

 

He knows that ERAS are conducting their own investigation, or at least working closely with the FBI. He knows that Charles and Reed and Chiv and the rest of them will do anything to get Evan back safely and get to the bottom of what’s happening. 

 

Sure, he can help with information, perhaps, but they don’t need him to jump into the fray like he would have when he was young. 

 

Hell, he’d probably be a liability. 

 

He feels old. Slow. Useless. 

 

“You look exhausted,” Seamus says, for lack of anything else to say. “I’ll put on something for dinner, yeah?”

 

Heidi just nods and curls up on the couch. She picks up her phone and Seamus hears the beginning of a conversation as he heads off into the kitchen to cook up some pasta. 

 

From the sounds of it, she’s talking to Zoe, which makes sense. They’ve become a lot closer in the past few years since Evan and Zoe repaired their friendship, which he knows was a huge source of relief for Heidi. 

 

While he’s waiting for the pasta to cook and the sauce to simmer, he calls Gus. 

 

There’s a bit of background noise when he first calls and Gus apologizes, but then moves somewhere with better reception so they can talk. 

 

“Hey son, just wanted to check in. How are you?” 

 

“I am fine,” Gus assures him, in a tone that’s almost too chipper. “It is very good that Hannah is awake.”

 

“You’re still at the hospital?”

 

“Yes. I will not stay much longer, I do not think. Very tired. I did not sleep much last night.”

 

Seamus takes a breath. “Connor’s not answering my calls.”

 

Gus sighs. “He does not answer me either. Or Zoe. I think maybe we must give him space for some time. He is in much pain.”

 

“I don’t like the idea of him being alone,” Seamus confesses. “But I don’t want to leave Heidi and go running after him.”

 

Gus is quiet for a moment. “You know that when Connor is in pain, sometimes he is cruel. I think that space for some time is good for everyone.” He pauses. “Is good for me.”

 

Seamus frowns. “What did he say to you?”

 

“That is not for you to worry,” Gus says firmly. “We are adults, we will sort this out ourselves. It is a very difficult time for all. Tomorrow, we call again, but for now, we leave him to his space, okay?”

 

Seamus can tell there’s something Gus isn’t telling him, and he hates it, but he knows better than to push. “Okay,” he says. “I should get back to cooking dinner.”

 

He can hear the smile in Gus’s voice. “Zoe is talking to Heidi now, I think. It is very good for you to make delicious foods for Heidi. You are good man.”

 

“I try,” Seamus replies, a little woefully. “I love you.”

 

“Love you much.”

 

When Seamus brings two plates of pasta into the living room, Heidi’s off the phone and is kind of just staring into space. He hands her a plate and a fork, and she smiles weakly. 

 

They sit on the sofa in silence as they eat. 

 

“Are you sure you should be back at work?” Seamus asks finally. “You look exhausted.”

 

“I need the routine,” Heidi replies, stabbing at her pasta and swirling it on her fork. 

 

“You don’t have to be working, you know,” he presses. “You can afford to take some time off. I’m sure work would understand.”

 

Heidi sighs. “I just… I think I just want things to go back to normal.”

 

“But they’re not normal. And you’ve barely slept all weekend.” It’s his turn to sigh. “Just… take the week off. Or just a few days. Or even just tomorrow. You just look so tired. Maybe some rest will help?”

 

She looks at him for a moment and then shrugs. “I guess,” she says, sounding a little unconvinced. 

 

After Seamus does the dishes, he manages to get Heidi to talk to her boss and take the next few days off. They sit on the couch and watch television for a while, then Heidi announces she’s going to bed. Seamus stays up a little longer, checking his phone every few minutes to see if Connor’s been in touch, but eventually follows her into the bedroom. 

 

She’s curled up on her side of the bed and Seamus can hear her sobbing quietly. 

 

He wraps himself around her and kisses the back of her neck gently as they both drift off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

It is nearly ten at night when Gus finally leaves the hospital. He has been putting it off for some time because even though he knows he needs to sleep, he is not sure if he can. 

 

His heart is very heavy and he is full of worry. 

 

It is good that Hannah is awake. She seems to be doing quite good and is asking many questions, but also is very tired. In the time since she is waking up, she has had several small naps, and the doctors say that this is normal, but Zoe is worried. 

 

Gus is glad that Zoe has hired security. He hopes that it will make her feel safe. 

 

The hospital is very careful to look after Hannah well, because Zoe is very, very angry that the man who tried to kill Hannah was allowed into the hospital in the first place. Gus thinks they would very much like to avoid a lawsuit, so they are most accommodating, and Hannah is put in an even better room, and there is even a place for someone to sleep so they can stay with her. 

 

Zoe is determined not to leave Hannah now that she is awake, and Gus thinks that he understands this. 

 

Zoe loves Hannah very deeply, and it is clear she is full of relief to know that even though Hannah is still in the hospital, she is better and she will continue to get better, even if it will be a long road. 

 

Gus tries not to think of Evan. 

 

Or of Connor. 

 

He gets into his van and drives to a supermarket and buys some ice cream. He thinks he deserves some ice cream. It has been a long day. He also gets treats for Pampushka, since she has been a very good girl. 

 

As he leaves the supermarket, he does not realize until he has passed his street that he is not driving home. 

 

He is driving to see Steve. 

 

Gus knocks on Steve’s door and immediately feels bad for not having called. It is late, and Steve has a daughter to look after, and it is very rude for Gus not to give notice. 

 

He is about to leave when the door opens and Steve is standing there. He is wearing pajama pants, a t-shirt, and no shoes. 

 

Gus thinks he looks very handsome. 

 

“Gus?”

 

“I have ice cream,” Gus says, trying to find words to make sense. “I left the hospital and bought some ice cream, and then I am driving here. I am not sure why. I can go if you want me to.”

 

“I’m glad you’re here,” says Steve immediately. “Come in.”

 

Gus has been to Steve’s house before only one time, and it was very quick when he is picking up Steve and Penny to go to the park on Sunday morning. He did not see much of it then, but now he has time. He follows Steve into the kitchen and Steve gets out bowls and spoons and starts serving up ice cream. 

 

“I am sorry,” says Gus. “Is very rude of me not to call first.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve assures him. “It’s… I’m really glad to see you.” 

 

Pampushka rubs her nose on Steve’s leg, and Steve reaches down to scratch behind her ears and she wags her tail happily. 

 

“Pampushka likes you very much,” Gus comments. “She is best judge of character.”

 

“I like her, too,” Steve replies, and his smile is like sunlight. 

 

It is a very, very good smile. 

 

Steve looks at him, and his smile fades a little. He looks concerned. “Are you okay, Gus?”

 

Gus is not sure how to respond to this. 

 

He does not want to lie to Steve, but he does not know how to explain. 

 

The memories of his past are strong today, and they race around his head. They chase him like dark shadows, like ghosts that wish to harm him, and even though Gus knows that they have no power, he is still afraid. 

 

“I am not sure,” he says instead. “I think no, but to explain would take much time. Would be very difficult. And I do not think this is something I can do right now. I am sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to explain,” Steve says gently. “I… I don’t know exactly what’s happened in your past, but I know what it’s like to have things you don’t want to remember. I’ve got some of my own.” 

 

“Most of the time I am okay,” Gus tries to explain. “And I am okay. It is just… my brother is in pain, and when he is in pain he can be cruel. He uses words like arrows or bullets, and today they are hitting me in a place that is… undefended. I do not know if that makes sense.”

 

Steve moves closer and takes Gus’s hand. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“He is not a bad person,” Gus says quickly. “Connor is not a bad person. But he is… Evan is missing. It is very likely that someone has taken him, and the people who have taken him are known to harm. We do not know what is happening, or if he will survive, but the more time passes, the more likely it becomes that he will continue to suffer, and this is… it is hard to accept, especially when there is nothing you can do.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Steve says again, and he pulls Gus toward him. The movement is gentle but firm, and Gus finds that his thoughts slow down as Steve holds him for a moment. “I wish I could do something to make it better.”

 

“This is good,” Gus says quietly. His mouth is by Steve’s ear, so he knows he can hear him. “To be like this… it is most good.”

 

Steve pulls back a little bit, and Gus thinks that maybe he will let go, but instead, he kisses him. 

 

Gus kisses him back. 

 

Steve’s hands are in his hair and his body is warm against his and Gus finds that his worries are not so important now because this moment is soft and good, and so is Steve. 

 

“Would you like to stay here tonight?” Steve asks, his voice soft. “With me? We don’t have to do anything, we can just sleep.” Steve pushes a loose part of Gus’s hair behind his ear and there is something in Gus’s stomach that feels like electricity.

 

“I would like this,” says Gus, and Steve smiles, and then they are kissing again. 

 

Steve lends Gus a pair of pajama pants, a shirt, and a toothbrush, and he goes to the bathroom to get changed. The clothes are very soft and smell like lavender, which is different to the vanilla that Gus usually uses but is just as nice. It is a calming smell, and Gus thinks it is very good. 

 

Pampushka follows Gus into Steve’s room, and Gus is unsure what happens now. Joe preferred for Pampushka to sleep in the lounge and Tim did not like her at all. Gus knows that Steve likes Pampushka, but he does not know if this means that he will be okay if Pampushka stays in the room with them.

 

Then Steve comes in with a blanket that looks old, but soft. “I thought Pampushka might want to sleep on this,” he says, putting it in the corner of the room. “Do you think she’ll be okay? Does she need to eat? I don’t have any dog food, but I could cook her some eggs and I think I have some flank steak I can defrost overnight so she’s got something to eat in the morning.”

 

Gus does not know what to say. 

 

It means much to him that Steve is so considerate of his dog. 

 

It means much to him that Steve makes an effort to take care of Pampushka, as well as Gus. 

 

He does not have the words to express how much this means.

 

Instead, Gus takes Steve’s hand and pulls him toward the bed and hopes that if he kisses him enough, Steve might begin to understand. 


	22. TWENTY-ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe eats a breakfast burrito.

Steve Kim has always considered himself someone who thinks ahead and plans for things. He’s not spontaneous, he’s not impulsive - he likes knowing what’s going to happen next. Sure, he can roll with the punches when he needs to, and it’s not like he panics if his carefully laid plans don’t quite work out, but he likes to know what’s going to happen and consider all the variables. 

 

However, there’s something about Gus Sadler that seems to have him throwing caution to the wind. 

 

Case in point: it’s early on Tuesday morning when he’s woken up by his very enthusiastic six-year-old who’s delighted to see Pampushka and doesn’t seem to be even slightly fazed by the fact that Gus is in bed with her dad. 

 

“Hi Gus!” she says brightly. “Did you sleep well?”

 

Gus wakes up quickly, Steve notices, like he’s preparing for some kind of attack. His face pales a little when he sees Penny, but his voice is kind when he answers. 

 

“Good morning Penny,” he says. “I had very good sleep. How about you?”

 

“I had a very good sleep, too,” says Penny, who by now has climbed over Steve to sit between the two of them in the bed. “Come here, Pampushka!”

 

Pampushka’s at the end of the bed wagging her tail and Penny reaches out for her. Pampushka looks at Gus, who looks at Steve. 

 

“Pampushka is very good girl,” says Gus to Penny. “She will only go on bed if she it is okay with your dad.”

 

Penny looks at Steve with pleading eyes and Steve’s pretty sure he’s not winning this one. “It’s okay,” he says, and Gus smiles and says something in Ukrainian to the dog, who jumps onto the bed and heads straight for Penny, who’s absolutely delighted. 

 

Steve looks at the clock. It’s six am, which is earlier than he’s usually up, so there’s time to spare. 

 

And this is kind of nice. 

 

Having Penny and Gus and Pampushka all in a pile on the bed is nice. 

 

It’s like having a proper family. 

 

Steve tries not to let that thought settle. It’s way too early to be thinking about things like that, and he has no idea if Gus is anywhere near on the same page as he is. 

 

He’d like to think he might be, but he can’t be sure. 

 

“Are you sleeping in my dad’s bed because you had bad dreams?” Penny asks. “Sometimes I have bad dreams, and I come and sleep in Dad’s bed, because my dad can scare away all the dream monsters.” 

 

Gus and Steve exchange a look and Steve kind of feels like a rabbit caught in the headlights. 

 

He hadn’t actually thought this through.

  
This is the first time that Penny’s ever known someone Steve’s dated. He’s been a few dates in the last year or so, once Penny started school, but they never met Penny and were mostly just physical relationships. But now here he is, first thing in the morning, with a handsome man in his bed. Of course his daughter’s asking questions. 

 

To be honest, her logic’s pretty sound. Gus had seemed pretty on edge when he arrived last night. Steve’s just glad he didn’t have to be alone. 

 

It doesn’t mean that it’s any easier to explain this to his daughter. 

 

He’s just glad that even though there was definitely a lot of kissing last night, both of them are fully clothed this morning. 

 

“Your dad is a very nice man,” says Gus, and his tone is very patient. “Do you remember I tell you on Sunday that there is accident and my friends are hurt?” Penny nods, and Gus continues. “This is making me very sad. Because your dad and I are special friends, he is letting me stay here last night so I am not alone.” 

 

Penny nods again. “Sometimes when you’re sad and by yourself it just makes you more sad.” 

 

Gus nods. “This is very true. And I am liking your dad very much. He is a very kind man. ”

 

Steve can see Gus’s ears turning pink and he’s fairly certain he’s blushing as well. 

 

Gus is just…

  
Steve doesn’t have the words. There’s just something about him that Steve really, really likes. He’s a little unusual, but he’s smart and he’s funny and he’s deeply, deeply kind, and really damn patient. There’s still a lot about Gus that Steve doesn’t know and the whole human cloning thing is a can of worms he hasn’t even dared to dive into properly, but he’s always trusted his gut, and his gut says that Gus is a good man. A really good man. 

 

One of the best. 

 

“Are you going to stay here again tonight?” Penny asks. 

 

“It is very kind of your dad to let me stay, but it is good for me and Pampushka to go home, I think.”

 

Penny pouts. “But I have to go to school soon. It’s not fair that Dad got to hang out with you and Pampushka while I was sleeping.”

 

Gus shoots Steve a sly grin and Steve grins back. 

 

His six-year-old doesn’t need to know what he and Gus were doing while she was sleeping. 

 

“We can all have breakfast together,” says Gus, his tone bright. “And I am sure we will all see each other again soon. What do you think, Pampushka? Is good?”

 

Pampushka barks, and Penny giggles and buries her face in her soft fur. 

 

When Steve looks over at Gus, Gus is looking straight at him, expression soft and hopeful.

 

Steve could get used to mornings like these. 

 

* * *

Hannah has never liked hospitals.

 

She spent plenty of time in hospitals as a kid with a sick dad. She didn’t like it then and she likes it even less now when she’s the one hospitalized while everything goes to hell around her. 

 

It takes a while for her to get up to speed with what’s been going on. Zoe wants her to rest and not worry about things, but that’s easier said than done. Hannah wants to know what’s happening, and what she can do to help. 

 

The problem being, of course, that she’s got broken ribs and a broken leg and a head injury. She’s constantly tired and every conversation seems to wear her out. After regaining consciousness on Monday afternoon, she’s only really spent a couple of hours at a time awake, which the doctors say is to be expected because she’s got a lot of recovery to do. 

 

On Tuesday morning, she wakes up to find Zoe eating a breakfast burrito and Gus sitting beside her, looking a heck of a lot more calm than he had the previous day, which is good to see. 

 

Zoe’s whole face lights up when she sees Hannah’s awake and Hannah really, really wants to wrap her in a big hug right now but doesn’t think she can manage it. 

 

“Morning babe,” says Zoe, and her voice is almost cheerful. “How are you feeling? Do you need any more pain relief? Shall I call the doctor?”

 

“I’m fine,” Hannah assures her, even though she is pretty sore, because she really doesn’t want to be drugged up any more than what she already is. “I was hoping someone could call Reed? So I can talk to them about what’s going on at ERAS and what I can do to help.”

 

Zoe and Gus look at each other, then back at Hannah. “There is much that is happening,” Gus says calmly. “Many things. But you do not need to worry. Your job for now is to focus on getting better.”

 

Hannah just stares at them. “Guys. Seriously. I’ve worked for ERAS for years. Since it first started. It’s important to me. I want to help.”

 

“Babe, you were unconscious for two days,” Zoe says frankly. “You have a broken leg. You have broken limbs. Internal bleeding. Traumatic brain injury. You’re not in any shape to be working.”

 

Hannah’s not budging on this. “I need to know what’s going on,” she insists. 

 

Zoe crosses her arms. “Hannah. Did you miss the part yesterday where I told you that  _ someone tried to kill you?”  _

 

“Tried being the operative word,” Hannah shoots back. “Whoever’s responsible for whatever’s going on clearly thinks I’m a threat. Which means maybe I can help.” A thought occurs to her. “Or maybe the attack on ERAS had something to do with my area of research.”

 

Gus looks at Zoe. “If she is talking to Reed, this is not so bad, yes? Just talking. They can come visit. Short visit. So she is not too tired.”

 

“You’re supposed to be backing me up here, Gus.” 

 

Gus looks a little sheepish, but continues. “What Hannah is saying makes sense. Maybe if she is talking to Reed, they uncover more information together. Information that leads to finding Evan.”

 

Zoe looks at Gus, then back at Hannah. 

 

She looks young and very scared. 

 

Hannah reaches out her hand and Zoe grabs it and squeezes it tightly. 

 

“Gus, do you want to call Reed?” Zoe says after a moment. 

 

Gus nods. “I will be in hallway.”

 

Gus and Pampushka head out of the room and it’s just Zoe and Hannah. Hannah wants nothing more than to pull Zoe toward her for a kiss but she doesn’t seem to have the strength. Instead, she just kind of tugs on Zoe’s arm. 

 

Zoe seems to be on the same page. She leans down and kisses her. 

 

“You have no idea how scared I was,” Zoe confesses quietly. “I thought I might lose you.” 

 

“I’m right here,” Hannah assures her. “Can’t get rid of me that easily.”

 

Zoe squeezes her hand and kisses her again. 

 

They sit in comfortable silence for a while. 

 

“How’s Connor?” Hannah asks. 

 

Zoe tenses up. 

 

“Not great,” she says. 

 

Hannah frowns. “Is he… what’s happening?”

 

“He got super drunk and high over the weekend,” Zoe confesses. “We talked and we both… said some things we shouldn’t have.” 

 

Hannah’s heart sinks. She knows just how harsh both of them can be. 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Zoe just kind of shrugs. “He was at Gus’s on Sunday night. Monday morning they talked and… Gus won’t tell me what Connor said, but he was pretty shaken up.” 

 

Hannah blinks. “And since then?”

 

Zoe shrugs again. “No one’s heard from him,” she admits. “I… I know he’s not okay. I know he’s… I just, I can’t right now, I…” She takes a deep breath and continues. “It’s awful to say this, I know it is, and I know it’s not the same, but… he’s not the only one who cares about Evan, you know? This is affecting all of us.”

 

“Yeah,” Hannah agrees, and she’s just horribly, horribly sad thinking about it. 

 

Once Evan and Zoe repaired their friendship, they’d gotten close again. Really close. Hannah and Connor had spent plenty of evenings commiserating over the fact that neither of them understood the many, many inside jokes Zoe and Evan had. They’re best friends, and Hannah’s heartbroken that Zoe has to go through losing him again. 

 

Gus comes back, Pampushka in tow, and smiles at Hannah. “Reed will be here soon,” he says. “Beanpole is coming also. He said he will bring you chocolates.”

 

“That’s nice of him,” Zoe says. 

 

Hannah laughs. “It’s Beanpole. Showing up to hospital without some kind of gift wouldn’t be proper.”

 

“It will be nice to see them,” says Gus, taking a seat next to Zoe. “Is good that Beanpole is here.”

 

Hannah agrees. Beanpole’s smart, and more calculating than people give him credit for. If there’s anyone who can help get to the bottom of what happened to Evan, it’s him. 

 

* * *

 

“Does Hannah like nuts?” 

 

“She’s a lesbian, Beanpole.”

 

“Reed, please be serious. I’m trying to decide what chocolates to get.”

 

Beanpole has been standing at the confectionary aisle, trying to make a decision for nearly ten whole minutes. Reed’s not exactly properly awake, so they don’t necessarily mind, but it is a little weird, kind of just… standing around at the supermarket. 

 

“Do you think you’ll be much longer?” 

 

“These things can’t be rushed.”

 

Reed shrugs. “Okay. Well, I think there’s a cafe down the road, so I’m going to get some coffee and you can just text me when you’re done. Do you want anything?”

 

Beanpole tilts his head a little, as if thinking. 

 

“Okay, clearly we have reached the ‘having trouble making decisions’ level of tired. I’ll get you an espresso.”

 

Beanpole just kind of makes a noise of agreement, and Reed heads off to find some caffeine. 

 

They haven’t had a full night’s sleep since this whole thing began, and it’s starting to wear on them. Chiv’s in even worse shape, but has even more to do - he’s interviewing new security staff, looking at new venues and working with Torpedo on figuring out what the new security software is going to need. Tomorrow Beanpole’s IT guy friend arrives and they’ll get both get stuck into it, and Beanpole’s promised that both Reed and Chiv can have some time off then. 

 

Reed feels terrible even thinking about taking time off when Evan’s god knows where suffering through god knows what, but they also know they can’t keep this up much longer. 

 

They get to the cafe and order 2 espressos. While they’re waiting for the orders, their phone rings. 

 

It’s Chiv. 

 

“Hey babe. You okay?”

 

Chiv’s voice is tense. “I think we have a problem.”

 

“We have a lot of problems.”

 

“No, I mean another one.”

 

Reed can feel their heart start to race. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Chiv assures him. “Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for some of our staff.”

 

“What’s happened?”

 

“The police called. Overnight they’ve found five people dead in their homes, and the only thing linking them is that they all work for ERAS.”

 

Reed’s eyes widen. “What? Who?” Chiv lists off some names, and Reed’s eyes widen even further. 

 

They recognize the names. All older scientists, well respected in their areas of expertise. Reed’s worked closely with a few of them.

 

“You know what else they have in common?” Chiv continues. “They’re all ex-DYAD. And not only that, but they all worked for DYAD for at least 25 years before joining us.”

 

Reed blinks. “They were all working for DYAD in the lead-up to Phanes.”

 

“If DYAD separated itself from Neolution around the time of Phanes, then this could be Neolution’s way of tying up some loose ends,” Chiv points out. 

 

The barista calls out Reed’s name, and they manage to grab the coffee tray and head out the door to where Beanpole’s heading toward them, a shopping bag in his hand. 

 

“I’ve got Beanpole here now,” Reed says to Chiv. “Tell him what you told me.”

 

Beanpole’s face is ashen as Reed hands him the phone. 


	23. TWENTY-TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beanpole finds out more.

Charles Booth does not like coffee, not even a little bit, but he has to admit that it certainly does what it advertises. He’s feeling a lot more alert once he’s downed an espresso (quickly, so he doesn’t have to taste it) and ordered an Uber back to the temporary ERAS office. 

 

He’d certainly have liked to visit Hannah, but needs must. He gives Reed instructions to pass on the chocolates on his behalf. 

 

He’ll visit her as soon as he can.

 

When Charles arrives at the temporary office, there are more people there than anticipated. Not only are Agents Brewer and Fence there, along with Chiv, there’s also an older woman that Charles recognizes but can’t quite place. 

 

“Dr. van Druten wanted to talk to you,” says Chiv. 

 

“Right,” says Charles absently. Dr. van Druten. From memory, she’s a molecular biologist, and one of the dozen or so scientists that came to work for ERAS after DYAD ended. 

 

That takes a moment to sink in. 

 

Oh. 

 

“Is there somewhere we can talk in private?” asks Dr. van Druten. She’s looking at Chiv like he’s a stain on her shoe and Charles starts piecing more information about this particular scientist from his memories. 

 

Dr. Eleanora van Druten, born 1972, began her professional career at the DYAD Institute in 1994 right after graduating from Yale University. 

 

“I’m afraid we’re rather lacking in space,” says Charles, not quite apologetically. “In addition, Mr. Yu is my head of security, and given the current circumstances I’d rather he be in attendance.”

 

“And the suits?” asks Dr. van Druten, looking more than slightly annoyed. 

 

“Agents Brewer and Fence, FBI.”

 

Dr. van Druten goes pale and looks around the room, her eyes sharp. “Alright then,” she says, her voice curt. “I have information for you about Neolution and I’m willing to make a deal.”

 

Agent Brewer frowns a little. “What is it that you want?”

 

“Protection,” she says simply. “I know Neolution are after me.”

 

“And what makes you think that?” asks Chiv. 

 

She all but rolls her eyes. “Because they’ve killed the rest of us. And they’ve already broken their agreement.”

 

Brewer frowns even more, but Fence seems to have figured it out. “Let me guess. You made a deal with them and it didn’t go as planned.”

 

Dr. van Druten’s expression darkens. She looks afraid, but still defiant. Charles has a sickening feeling that this woman has some answers about what happened on Friday. 

 

“If you protect me from them, I’ll tell you everything.”

 

“Alright,” says Charles before anyone else can say anything. “From the top, if you don’t mind, Dr. van Druten.”

 

She stares at him for a long moment, like she’s not sure where to start. Finally she nods. “Alright then. I suppose it starts with you and your brothers, Mr. Booth. I was part of the original team of scientists that worked on the Phanes project, fresh out of Yale University. I was a prodigy. I finished early. But they kept my involvements under wraps. You won’t find any mention of me in DYAD’s files from that time.” 

 

“Got any way of backing that up?” says Brewer, her voice a little skeptical. 

 

The doctor shoots her a harsh look. “Explaining to you the ins and outs of the process we used to create human life would go over your head, Agent. Trying to prove myself would be a wasted conversation.”

 

Charming, Charles thinks to himself. 

 

“What else did you work on for DYAD?” Charles asks, keeping his voice as calm and mild as he can. He finds it usually gets him the results he needs. 

 

“A variety of things,” she continues, holding his gaze. “I assisted in some research on the healing properties of stem cells. Some of our methods of experimentation were… unorthodox, but we got results.”

 

There’s a growing uneasiness settling in Charles’s stomach. He thinks he knows what’s she’s alluding to, and if that’s the case…

 

“Unorthodox like experimenting on newborn babies, intentionally bred to have birth defects to encourage gene mutation?” 

 

Charles isn’t expecting that question to come from Agent Fence. It’s a little unsettling to see such a calm expression on a face that looks like his when discussing something so horrific. 

 

“As the saying goes: if you want to make an omelette, you have to be prepared to break a few eggs.” Brewer looks sick to her stomach and Chiv doesn’t look much better. Dr. van Druten does roll her eyes then. “This reaction, right here. That’s the problem with your organization. You’re not going to get the breakthroughs you need because you’re not willing to make the hard decisions.”

 

“Adhering to a code of ethics isn’t a weakness,” Charles replies, a little more harshly than he intends to. “DYAD were out of control. Something had to be done.”

 

“And that’s where you came in,” says Dr. van Druten. Her voice is practically dripping with disgust. “You and your organization, destroying decades of progress with DYAD and acting like ERAS could pick up where they left off. All you did was make it harder for us to achieve what needs achieving. All you’ve done is set scientific progress back by years.” 

 

Charles doesn’t have to look at Chiv to know that his friend is practically vibrating with anger. 

 

Quite frankly, he’s not far off it himself. 

 

“I’m guessing your opinion was shared by other former DYAD employees,” says Charles. 

 

“Yes. In the aftermath of ERAS destroying DYAD, Neolution reached out to us. Said that if we helped give them access, they’d help us set things right. Create a new DYAD. Set scientific progress back on course.”

 

Charles does feel sick now. Sick to his stomach.

 

“How many of you are there?” he asks. 

 

Dr. van Druten bites her lip, then opens and shuts her mouth a few times. She looks angry, but Charles thinks that right now, it’s with herself. “They told us there was a network of us all over the world,” she says finally. “There were 12 of us in Boston. They told us they’d mount a similar operation to what your group did - attack in a weekend when fewer people were onsite. Minimum casualties. Key centers all over the world to destabilize the whole organization.”

 

“But they just attacked Boston,” Brewer points out. “And they attacked on a Friday.”

 

“Eight of the twelve of us were in the building when it went down,” says Dr. van Druten, eyes flashing with anger. “Six didn’t make it. I managed to get out unscathed, as did Henry Markham from the neuroscience department. Today I find out that Henry’s been murdered. So have the other four who remained.” She seems to deflate in front of them. “I’m the only one left.”

 

“So Neolution betrayed you,” Chiv says, his voice shaking with barely repressed anger. “And you think they murdered your colleagues?” 

 

“I think they’re tying up loose ends,” says Dr. van Druten, and it’s almost exactly what Chiv had said when he told Charles what had happened. “And I’m one of them.” She looks around the room. “You said you’d protect me. I gave you the information you wanted.” 

 

“You also got over fifty of your colleagues killed,” Chiv shoots back. “Forgive me if I’m not jumping for joy here.”

 

“What more can you tell us about Neolution?” asks Agent Fence. “All we really know is hearsay. You’ve been in touch with them. Anything you can tell us would help.”

 

“We had a contact,” says Dr. van Druten, her voice careful. “But we never saw his face. His code name was Alpha, and he sent messages through a secure channel.” She looks at Charles for a moment, then back to Agent Brewer. “I think I know who he is, though. James Haines. I worked with him at DYAD in the lead-up to the Phanes project. He’d have known how to find me. My involvement wasn’t common knowledge.”

 

“We’ve looked into him,” says Agent Brewer. “No one’s seen James Haines since 2002.”

 

“That’s what I know,” says the doctor, her expression sour. “They also asked us for updates. On the Phanes clones.” She doesn’t seem to be able to meet Charles’s eye as she says that, and instead focuses on Agent Brewer. 

 

“On all of them, or just a few?” asks Fence. 

 

“On a particular six.” She does look at Charles now, expression defiant. “Six key subjects of interest. Charles Booth, Reed Albrecht, Marvin Adams, Lucas Freeman, Connor Murphy, and Gus Sadler.”

 

Brewer, Fence, and Chiv all look at Charles. 

 

He tries to process this. 

 

Neolution is taking an interest in him. 

 

In his family. 

 

It’s not like he doesn’t know other clones, but he doesn’t consider all of them family the way he considers Reed, Torpedo, Lucas, Connor, and Gus his family. 

 

Neolution knows they’re a unit. 

 

Neolution knows they’re important to each other. 

 

And of this group of six, two of them have regenerative powers. 

 

That’s definitely got to be something they’d be interested in. 

 

The question is, does Neolution know about Connor and Gus?

 

Charles afraid of what the answer might be. Because even if they didn’t know beforehand, now that they have Evan, there’s every chance they might. Not that Evan would intentionally betray Gus and Connor. But Charles isn’t naive. He knows what these people are capable of. 

 

And they’ve had Evan for four days now. 

 

“Did your Neolution contact say anything about Evan Hansen?” Chiv asks, looking straight at Dr. van Druten, his expression unflinching. 

 

Her expression changes immediately, filling with scorn. “Nothing,” she says. “Only that with Evan in charge, they’d have a better chance of moving forward with the plan.” She looks at Charles. “You may act all mild-mannered, bumbling British, but no one’s going to underestimate you again, Mr. Booth. Everyone knows that ERAS taking down DYAD was mostly you. Having you out of the picture was an opening, especially when you put Evan Hansen in charge. He barely survived in 2021. There was no way he was going to fill your shoes or pose any real threat.”

 

Charles is more than a little offended on Evan’s behalf. 

 

“If Evan doesn’t pose any real threat, then why did Neolution take him?” 

 

Dr. van Druten frowns a little. “Why would you think that?”

 

“Hannah Weiss saw someone knock Evan out and drag him away. If Neolution is behind what happened, it’s only logical it was them.”

 

She shrugs. “I don’t know what they’d want from him. I don’t see what he has to offer them. Our contact kept saying he wasn’t a threat, that him being in charge made it the perfect time to strike.”

 

“Your contact also didn’t tell you when they set off the bombs,” Charles points out. “It’s entirely possible they’re not the most trustworthy.”

 

Dr. van Druten scowls. 

 

Brewer and Fence exchange a look, then turn back to the doctor. “We’ll organize a protection detail,” says Fence, his voice stony. “If the director signs off on it, that is. I can’t promise anything.”

 

Her eyes widen. “I told you everything I know! You have to see I took a risk coming here.”

 

“No, you didn’t,” Fence counters. “Self-preservation kicked in. Neolution double-crossed you. They’ve killed everyone else and you’re another loose end. It would have been more of a risk not to talk to us, to be honest.”

 

Dr. van Druten stares at Agent Fence for a moment, then laughs coldly. “A Phanes clone in the FBI. Working this case. Isn’t that a massive conflict of interest?”

 

“I don’t see how that’s your business,” Brewer replies. 

 

“It’s madness, the way they all treat you like real people.” Dr. van Druten shifts her gaze from Fence to Charles, and her voice is dripping with disdain. “I was there when you were in a test tube. I helped make you. And now you expect for people to just let you run things? I’ve had a career in the sciences for over thirty years and I’ll be damned if I end up taking orders from one of my own creations. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make any sense.” 

 

“You may have helped create us,” says Charles, as calmly as he can manage, “but the fact that I’ve managed to upset you this much just by living my life says something about your lack of control of the situation, wouldn’t you agree?”

 

Dr. van Druten just stares at him for a moment, then continues. “Phanes was deemed a failure, you know.”

 

Charles raises an eyebrow. “Really? And why would that be? From where I’m standing I’m a perfectly healthy twenty-seven-year-old male. Granted, I was born with an illness that nearly killed me, but we managed to sort that out.”

 

“You weren’t supposed to be perfectly healthy,” Dr. van Druten says venomously. “You were supposed to be  _ more.  _ You were supposed to be the next stage of human evolution. Stronger. More resilient.” She leans in. “We designed you to be superhuman, and you’re all just... ordinary. A disappointment. A failure.”

 

Fence rolls his eyes. It’s the most emotion Charles has seen from him all day. 

 

“I’m quite happy being an ordinary disappointment,” he says, his voice just a touch too strong to be a completely off-hand comment. “If that’s failure, then so be it.”

 

Dr. van Druten is staring daggers at Charles, and in that moment he realizes three important things. 

 

One: Dr. Eleanora van Druten really, really does not like him. 

 

Two: Connor and Gus’s regenerative abilities might just prove that Project Phanes wasn’t a complete failure after all. 

 

Three: Neolution can under no circumstances get their hands on the twins. 


	24. TWENTY-THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The insanely out-of-his-depth Jared Kleinman.

“Je ne veux pas être ici.”

 

“Gaelle,” says Lili warningly, “English, please.” She shoots Jared a teasing smile. “You know that Jared still finds French difficult.”

 

“Jared ne veut pas être ici, non plus.”

 

Gaelle’s tired, and her French is faster than usual, but Jared’s still pretty sure he understands her. She doesn’t want to be here, and she thinks that he doesn’t want to be here, either. 

 

As usual, the eight-year-old is not wrong. 

 

Here is Boston International Airport, where they have arrived at a ridiculous hour on Wednesday, after a far too long flight. Beanpole had arranged for them to fly business class, which was nice, but it definitely didn’t make the trip that much easier. 

 

It’s not exactly fun traveling with a kid who is constantly reminding both of her guardians that she’s totally not cool with the whole “going to America” thing. 

 

Maybe she’d have been more excited about the trip a few years ago when she went through an Amelia Earhart phase and decided she wanted to fly planes when she grew up. At least then she would have been excited about flying. But she’s not five anymore and she’s got a stubborn streak a mile wide that’s definitely kicking in. 

 

Jared had had to literally pick her up and put her in a taxi kicking and screaming when they left their house in Switzerland. 

 

That’s how much she doesn’t want to be here. 

 

Jared’s trying not to take that as some kind of fucked-up omen. 

 

The whole damn situation has just been weird as hell. In the early hours of Saturday morning, Gaelle had woken up in the middle of the night crying. There’d been nothing Jared could do to calm her down. She’d cried and cried and cried until she ran out of tears and exhausted herself, hours later, and he and Lili hadn’t been able to get a reason for her tears out of her. 

 

Then Lili checked her phone and found out that the ERAS center in Boston had blown up. 

 

And it all started to make sense. 

 

It’s not something they talk about a lot, but it’s always there at the back of Jared’s mind - the knowledge that Gaelle is probably Yorick’s kid, and that there’s something out of the ordinary about her. Lili thinks it must have something to do with the clones, and Jared’s inclined to agree, even though the whole thing is somewhere in the realm of science fiction. 

 

Then again, so is human cloning. 

 

He remembers Lili telling him how Gaelle cried when Yorick died. How she cries every time one of the clones dies. She’d cried a lot as a baby and a toddler, Lili had said, but it was always different somehow when it was clone related. 

 

Considering that around the time she was born, the Phanes clones were dropping like flies from the illness that would have killed Yorick if DYAD hadn’t sliced his head open first, the timing all made sense. 

 

Jared moved to Switzerland around the time that the cure started being distributed to the clones all around the world. Lili said that Gaelle had been calmer since the cure, that fewer clones were dying, and for a while, the whole weird clone connection could kind of be ignored. Written off as a weird fluke. 

 

But there have been other moments. Gaelle knowing things she couldn’t possibly know. When she was five, she woke up one morning absolutely bouncing off the walls, more hyper than Jared had ever seen her. All through breakfast, it was sunny smiles and laughter, and when Lili had asked her teasingly what was making her so happy, she said it was because Uncle Charles was having the best day ever. 

 

Half an hour later, Beanpole had called to tell Lili and Jared that Tina had agreed to marry him. 

 

There’d been something similar last year. Not quite as enthusiastic, but still happy enough for Jared and Lili to notice. She’d come home from school buzzing with energy, then sat at the table, deep in thought, for nearly half an hour. 

 

Jared remembers exactly what she’d said that day. 

 

“He is very, very happy Jared. But also he thinks that he should not be happy, because for a long time he is not happy. And also he never thought he would be happy like this, so he is not sure if he can trust it.”

 

That one had taken a little longer to figure out. A few days later, Beanpole had told him that Evan and Connor had gotten engaged. 

 

It’s freaky as hell, but Jared can’t exactly deny it when the evidence is right there. 

 

There’s some kind of connection between Gaelle and the clones. 

 

And that only makes sense if Yorick is her real father. 

 

Miranda doesn’t know, and Jared doesn’t know how he feels about that. Obviously, it’s Lili’s decision, and he’s not about to tell her what to do, but part of him feels like it might bring Miranda some peace, knowing that there’s a part of Yorick that’s still around. On the other hand, though, Jared understands keeping the whole ‘this is a clone baby’ thing under wraps. 

 

Jared is the only person Lili has told. 

 

Sometimes he finds himself lying awake at night, feeling like the weight of that knowledge is going to crush him. 

 

He still doesn’t feel like he deserves to know. Deserves to be trusted with something this huge. 

 

But there’s no way in hell he’s going to do anything that could hurt Lili or Gaelle. 

 

It’s been six years now, and he’s a part of this weird little family, and even though he definitely didn’t picture this for himself, he wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

 

Well.

 

No.

 

That’s not entirely true. 

 

He’d give it up in a second if somehow it brought Yorick back. Yorick deserves it a hell of a lot more than Jared ever did. 

 

Once they found out about ERAS, everything had kind of gone into overdrive. Tina arrived the next day, and their tiny apartment had turned into a flurry of activity. Miranda, Lili and Tina had been in touch with Beanpole and were putting together plans to go over to the States and help with the situation in Boston. 

 

Jared had kind of assumed he’d be able to stay with Gaelle in Switzerland. He’d done it before. Lili and Miranda had spent a lot of time in Johannesburg when Gaelle was five, and he’d spent nearly a month looking after her full time. Taking her to school, feeding her, making sure she slept and brushed her teeth. 

 

(He’d done a pretty damn good job. Lili had teased him when she got back that she was proud of him that Gaelle still had all her limbs.)

 

But Beanpole’s worried about their IT security, so he’s asked for Jared to come along as well. 

 

Which means that Jared’s back in the United States for the first time in six years. 

 

Which is… 

 

Well, he knows it’s naive, but he kind of hoped he’d manage to go at least a few decades before setting foot on home soil. 

 

Doesn’t really feel like home anymore. 

 

There’s a guy with a blue Mohawk holding a sign that says BEAUFORT on it, and Tina waves at him. He smiles, and hugs Tina when they get close enough, then greets Miranda and Lili. Finally, he turns to Jared and offers a handshake. 

 

“Chiv Yu,” he says. Jared takes his hand. 

 

That’s a damn firm handshake. 

 

“Jared Kleinman.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” 

 

Jared just kind of blinks. “Cool.”

 

“Il a les cheveux bleus,” says Gaelle. “Pourquoi?”

 

“If you really want to know, you must ask him in English,” says Lili, clearly exasperated. 

 

Gaelle looks at Chiv. “Why do you have blue hair?”

 

Chiv’s eyes widen comically, then he looks up. “What? I have blue hair? How did that happen?” He makes a show of touching his hair in amazement and shock, and Gaelle starts to giggle, and Jared decides that this guy might not be so bad after all. 

 

They pile into a truck that’s probably seen better days. The early morning is gray and Jared’s just fucking exhausted. He tries not to doze off as they drive, Gaelle curled up beside him. Despite having subjected her to the indignity of being forcibly put in a cab, Gaelle seems to be sticking to Jared and ignoring her mom, which probably boils down to the fact that Lili is definitely the authoritarian in this whole weird co-parenting situation he’s found himself in. 

 

Gaelle falls asleep before they even leave the parking garage and Jared thinks she probably needs it. 

 

It doesn’t take them too long to get to the hotel. It’s not too fancy, somewhere in the center of town, and Chiv helps them all check in. Jared, Lili and Gaelle are in a suite, which has a lounge. Jared puts a still sleeping Gaelle to bed, then heads back into the lounge to find a few more people have shown up. 

 

All with familiar faces. 

 

There’s Beanpole, sitting on the sofa with his arm wrapped around Tina like she’s just returned home from the war. Next to Chiv is a pink-haired clone with an honest-to-fuck feather earring, wearing what kind of looks like a kimono and no shoes. Cross-legged in the corner is yet another clone with a mop of messy curls, thick glasses and a laptop in front of him. 

 

They all look up when they see Jared arrive. 

 

“Good to see you,” says Beanpole, standing up and shaking Jared’s hand. “Thank you for coming. I do appreciate it.”

 

“Yeah, well, you asked. Who am I to say no to the great and powerful Beanpole?”

 

The clone with the laptop snorts. “Well, I guess he kind of is the man behind the curtain.”

 

Beanpole gestures to the clone who just spoke. “This is Torpedo. I think you’ve worked together online, just not in person.”

 

“Yeah man,” says ‘Torpedo’, which Jared honestly thinks is ridiculous but kind of great at the same time. 

 

“Why do they call you Torpedo again?” 

 

“Because my real name is Marvin.”

 

“Torpedo it is.”

 

“I’m Reed,” says the pink-haired clone. He doesn’t look particularly pleased to see Jared, for whatever reason. 

 

He probably knows Evan and has already heard about how much of an asshole Jared is. 

 

Which.

 

You know. 

 

Fair. 

 

“Reed’s the whole reason Evan got involved with the clones,” says Beanpole, his voice matter of fact. “They had a class with Evan in his sophomore year of college, the first year he was in Boston.” 

 

“Did he freak out?” Jared asks before he can stop himself. 

 

“Not as much as he freaked out when Connor showed up at my apartment and dramatically announced he was alive,” Reed says, rolling his (their?) eyes. 

 

Jared kind of clears his throat. “Uh, just checking - pronouns?”

 

“They/them,” Reed says, and they seem to relax a bit, which means Jared relaxes a bit, because he’s not about to intentionally misgender someone, he’s not that much of an asshole. 

 

“Jared, you’ll mostly be working with Torpedo, but we thought you should meet Reed,” says Beanpole, his voice serious. “Reed and Chiv will be working with Miranda and Lili and Tina on some of the practicalities later in the week, but they’ll be taking the next two days off.”

 

Reed and Chiv exchange a look, and Jared notices just how fucking exhausted they both look. 

 

“It’s been kind of rough,” says Reed, frowning a little. “Especially with… well, you’d get it, I guess. You know Evan.”

 

“We knew each other in high school,” Jared feels compelled to say. “I know we technically work for the same company now, but we haven’t really spoken since, uh…”

 

“Since Yorick,” Torpedo pipes up, and Jared’s kind of struck by the realization that this is the inner circle, that these people know pretty much everything there is to know about the whole situation. 

 

About what happened. 

 

About the part he played in what happened. 

 

The room’s quiet for a while, then the silence is broken by the sound of a door opening. 

 

Gaelle walks into the room and stops suddenly, looking at the three identical faces with what looks like recognition. 

 

Lili is at her side in a flash and Jared doesn’t realize he’s moving until he’s next to both of them. 

 

Gaelle looks at Reed first, who kneels down so they’re not towering over her. “Hello,” they say, their voice gentle. “My name’s Reed. You must be Gaelle.”

 

Gaelle nods, and her face crinkles in what looks like confusion. “I know,” she says quietly. “You are very sad, yes? Your friend is missing and you are sad. I can feel it.”

 

Reed’s eyes widen, and they look at Lili and Jared questioningly. “Did you… did you tell her about what happened?” they ask quietly. 

 

Lili looks at Jared, her eyes frightened. “Qu’est-ce qu’on devrait les dire?” 

 

Her French is quiet, but slow enough so that Jared can understand what she’s asking. 

 

_ What should we tell them? _

 

“C’est ton choix,” he says in his terrible French accent, not actually sure if he’s using correct grammar right now.  _ It’s your choice. _

 

Lili stares for a long moment, then lets out a sigh. “I am not telling her about what happened,” says Lili quietly. “Sometimes… sometimes Gaelle is knowing things. Things she cannot know.”

 

Miranda is looking at both of them in absolute shock, and Jared feels like a total asshole, because this isn’t how he wanted her to find out. 

 

“Lots of them are sad,” Gaelle says. “They are sad, and they are angry, and they feel… like they have no power and it makes them even more sad. And there is one with a broken heart. He is the most sad, but he feels… fuzzy. I can’t always feel him, but when I do it hurts very much. More than everyone else.” 

 

Lili takes in a deep breath and Jared doesn’t realize he’s moved until he notices his arm around her, holding her steady. 

 

“We think there is a connection between Gaelle and the clones,” Lili says.

 

Miranda stares right at them. “Why would there be a connection?” she asks, and it’s clear from her expression that she knows what the answer will be. 

 

Lili’s eyes well up with tears, and Jared tightens his grip around her. When it’s clear she’s in no shape to answer, Jared speaks. “Gaelle might be Yorick’s daughter.” 

 

The room goes deadly silent. 

 

“This is huge,” says Reed after a long pause. “This… there aren’t any other recorded instances of clones having kids. We thought it might not be possible. The fact there’s proof… one of the other clones, Lucas. He and his wife want to start a family. This is huge.”

 

“What about this connection?” Torpedo asks, his voice sharp. “What does that… how does that even work?”

 

Jared can feel Gaelle press herself against his leg and take in a shaky breath. Immediately, he kneels down so he’s at her level. “Hey,” he says quietly. “You alright?”

 

“Ils ont peur,” she says. “Ils ont peur de moi.”

 

He doesn’t have it in him to berate her for continuing to speak French, because he thinks she might be right. 

 

He thinks that the others in the room might indeed be afraid of Gaelle. 


	25. TWENTY-FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are pancakes, and hard conversations.

As Lili and Miranda have what seems to be a heated conversation in French, Reed focuses their attention on the little girl practically glued to Jared’s leg.

 

She’s got big hazel eyes, dark brown curls pulled into a ponytail and skin that’s a few shades lighter than her mom but definitely darker than the clones’ paleness. Now that they’re really looking, Reed can see similarities to their own facial features.

 

Gaelle has their kind of goofy ears and high cheekbones.

 

She also looks fucking terrified.

 

Reed’s a bit on edge themself, and figures that if Gaëlle can indeed feel the clones’ emotions, there’s probably one hell of a feedback loop going on right now.

 

Poor kid.

 

They sit cross legged on the floor in front of Gaëlle, who watches them cautiously.

 

“This is all a bit strange, huh?”

 

Gaëlle looks at them with those big hazel eyes for a long moment, then nods.

 

Jared is looking at Reed, their expression full of careful scrutiny. Reed’s heard enough stories about this guy to not exactly consider themself a fan, but they have to admit that Jared’s protectiveness over this kid is winning him some points.

 

After a moment, Jared kind of shrugs and joins Reed on the floor. Gaëlle climbs into his lap and hold on tightly to him.

 

“What we’ve just told you,” Jared begins, his voice hesitant. “It doesn’t leave this room. There’s a reason it’s a secret. We need to keep her safe.”

 

Reed nods so emphatically it kind of hurts. “Of course. Especially with this whole Neolution thing.”

 

Jared’s expression shifts. “Yeah, I’m gonna need you to tell me more about that. Especially if there’s any chance it’s going to affect my... any chance it’s going to affect Gaëlle.”

 

Reed looks at Gaëlle, who seems to be trying to make herself as small as she can get. “Maybe not in front of little ears,” they say gently. “But we can talk later. Definitely.” They focus their attention on Gaëlle. “Are you hungry? Shall we find go and find some breakfast? I know a place nearby that does really yummy pancakes.”

 

Gaëlle looks up at Jared, who glances over at Lili, who’s still deep in conversation with Miranda. Reed has no idea what they’re saying but Jared seems to have at least a basic understanding, and looks extremely uncomfortable. He looks back at Gaëlle. “What do you think, little cabbage? Shall we get pancakes?”

 

After some consideration, Gaëlle nods. She and Jared disappear into one of the rooms to get ready and Reed stands up.

 

“Who wants to go get breakfast with Jared and Gaëlle?”

 

Chiv immediately nods. Torpedo looks like he’s considering, but in the end shakes his head. “I think maybe it should just be you and Chiv,” he says. “Probably best not to overwhelm the kid.”

 

“I think Aunty Tina’s a bit sleepy,” says Beanpole apologetically to Gaëlle. “But I’m sure we’ll get to hang out soon.” He turns to his wife. “Our hotel room is just down the hall. Did you want to have a lie down, darling?”

 

“You guys have been apart for less than a week,” Torpedo deadpans. “Do you really have to go bone down straight away?”

 

Beanpole goes bright red but Tina just laughs. “Why yes, Torpedo, I absolutely need to go bone down with my remarkably handsome husband. It’s been a stressful week, and orgasms are good for the soul.”

 

Of course, Jared and Gaëlle had to come back into the room right as Tina finished her sentence. Gaëlle looks Beanpole dead in the eye, an innocent expression on her face that Reed doesn’t quite think they believe. “Uncle Beanpole? What’s an orgasm?”

 

Lili, who clearly hadn’t been paying attention to Tina teasing her husband, looks around the room, an accusing gaze landing on Jared.

 

Jared’s eyes bulge comically. “I had nothing to do with this, I swear.”

 

“And that’s my cue to take Charles to bed before his head explodes,” says Tina hurriedly, taking Beanpole’s hand and practically dragging him out of the room as he stammers out British apologies.

 

Lili’s saying something to Gaëlle in rapid-fire French and Miranda seems to have taken the opportunity to leave the room. Reed obviously hasn’t understood any of the conversation between Lili and Miranda but they’ve got a pretty good guess as to what it was about, given how shocked the older woman had looked at the revelation that Gaëlle was Yorick’s kid.

 

Which makes sense, seeing as Miranda was Yorick’s mom.

 

Making her Gaëlle's grandmother.

 

Fucking hell, what a nightmare.

 

It takes a while, but soon Lili, Jared, Gaëlle, Chiv and Reed all manage to leave the hotel room and head out to a nearby cafe. They manage a relatively neutral conversation throughout the meal, which is probably for the best. Gaëlle sits between Chiv and Jared, and Chiv seems to have made it his mission to get Gaëlle to laugh. It works about sixty percent of the time.

 

Lili’s quiet and focused on her meal, and Jared keeps sending her worried glances. Reed wonders what’s going on there. From what he remembers Beanpole saying, Jared’s been helping Lili raise Gaëlle since 2021, after tracking down Miranda in the wake of the expose about Yorick’s death being plastered all over the internet.

 

It’s not a stretch to assume that Jared feels guilty about what happened to Yorick. Reed suspects that it’s not just guilt that’s keeping him in Switzerland, given his obvious love for Gaëlle and the way he looks at Lili.

 

But Reed’s not about to say anything.

 

Getting involved in the relationship drama of people they barely know isn’t their idea of a fun time.

 

Gaelle seems to relax a little bit more throughout the meal, even though she’s still looking at Reed a little suspiciously. Reed doesn’t know how it all works, but their heart goes out to the kid. With everything that’s going on, emotions are definitely running high, and if she’s feeding off them then no wonder she’s a little bit wary.

 

Emotions are big and scary enough when you’re an adult. They must be even worse when you’re eight.

 

Gaëlle's English isn’t perfect, but she can make herself understood and she’s clearly very intelligent. She doesn’t say a lot but it’s obvious she’s taking in everything around her, drawing her own conclusions.

 

Once they’re done with the meal, they head back to the hotel. Gaëlle's yawning, and Jared suggests she have a nap while he and Torpedo talk. She doesn’t seem to want to miss anything but she’s clearly exhausted.

 

“Who will be here when I wake up?” she asks.

 

“Your maman, Auntie Miranda, and I will all be here,” says Jared firmly. “And maybe Torpedo, if we don’t get our work finished.”

 

Gaëlle looks at Torpedo, and the corner of her lips curl into a smile. “You have a very silly name,” she says, “but I like it.”

 

Torpedo grins at her. “Me too.”

 

Reed’s getting the picture that Jared wants them to leave, but before they do they get back down on Gaëlle's level. “Is it okay if I come and visit you tomorrow?” they ask. “I’m going to bring some things with me so we can do a little test.” Jared and Lili both stare at Reed accusingly, and they rush to explain. “It’s just a DNA test. It’s really easy and it won’t hurt a bit. We just want to check some things, okay?”

 

“You want to check who my papa is,” says Gaëlle knowingly. “That’s okay.”

 

Lili looks tired. “It will not hurt her?” she asks, her voice sharp. “And it will be secret, yes?”

 

“I promise.”

 

Gaëlle looks at Lili, and her face grows serious. “It’s okay,” she says to Lili. “It’s okay to be sad that he’s gone, maman.”

 

Lili looks close to tears. “It is okay for you to be sad, too. I am very sorry he did not get to know you.”

 

Gaëlle blinks. “He loved me very much,” she says, her voice firm. “He knew he was my papa and he loved me very much. He was just waiting.”

 

The room goes very still.

 

“For what?” asks Jared, his voice barely above a whisper.

 

Gaëlle looks at her mother, her big hazel eyes solemn. “For you to be ready.”

 

Lili bursts into tears. Jared looks deadly pale.

 

Reed has no idea what to say.

 

Chiv puts his hand on Reed’s shoulder. “We shouldn’t be here,” he says quietly.

 

Reed nods and lets Chiv lead them out of the hotel room.

 

* * *

 

Zoe honestly wasn’t expecting Hannah to be a terrible patient.

 

It just hadn’t crossed Zoe’s mind. Hannah never really seemed to get sick. Zoe’s only ever seen her hungover once. Hannah was always the sensible one who drank plenty of water, paced herself throughout the night and made sure everyone got home safely.

 

The one time Zoe saw Hannah hungover was after a particularly eventful night which began with Zoe drunkenly serenading Gus’s ex Tim with a song about how much he sucked outside his apartment building and finished with a Space Jam themed drinking competition with Gus at Evan and Connor’s apartment.

 

And even then, Hannah was still the least hungover of the five of them.

 

It’s been nearly 48 hours since she’s regained consciousness and Hannah is making her displeasure about being in the hospital known.

 

“I just don’t see why I have to stay here,” Hannah says. Again.

 

“You have a head injury and were unconscious for two days,” Daniel says from the corner where he’s on his laptop, working on an assignment. “Also you have broken ribs. And a broken leg. And are recovering from major surgery to fix the whole internal bleeding thing. Because _a building fell on you.”_

 

“I could recover at home,” she says, and the pouting would be cute if it weren’t for the fact that this is the fourth time they’ve had this conversation today.

 

“No, you can’t,” Zoe says curtly. “You’re staying here until the doctors say you’re ready to go home.”

 

“I could at least do some work,” Hannah pleads.

 

“Babe. Your work exploded.”

 

Hannah lies back in her hospital bed and lets out a groan of frustration. “I just want to be doing something to help,” she says. “I want to know what’s going on. What they’re doing to find Evan.”

 

“Hannah,” Zoe says, as calmly as she can, “you are not in a position to help right now. You need to focus on recovering, or else you’re just going to be stuck here longer.”

 

“She’s right,” says Daniel from the corner. “Listen to your girlfriend, Hannah.”

 

“Thank, you Daniel.”

 

“We come bearing food!” says a cheerful voice from the doorway. Ruth’s carrying bags of takeout, and Gus and Pampushka aren’t far behind her.

 

“Awesome,” says Daniel enthusiastically. “I’m starving.”

 

Hannah looks at her brother. “You just ate my jello ten minutes ago.”

 

“Yeah, and it was terrible. Hospital food is the worst.” Pampushka pads over to where Daniel’s sitting and he brightens. “Hey Pampushka. How’s the prettiest dog in the world doing today?”

 

“You will give her big head,” says Gus teasingly, taking a seat next to Daniel and handing him a burrito.

 

“She knows she’s beautiful,” Daniel replies with a grin.

 

“This is very true.”

 

Zoe unwraps a burrito and gives it to Hannah, which makes her roll her eyes but she takes it. Zoe watches as she takes a bite and closes her eyes and moans in delight. “Oh my gosh, it’s so good to be eating actual food. Daniel’s right. Hospital food is the worst. Hospitals are the _worst.”_

 

“Has she always been a terrible patient?” Zoe asks Ruth, rolling her eyes.

 

Ruth laughs. “Yes. She got the chicken pox when she was 5 and she was a total nightmare.”

 

“I’m right here,” Hannah grumbles, and takes another bite of her burrito.

 

“It is not nice to be sick,” Gus says mildly. “I understand it is frustrating.”

 

Zoe looks at Gus, who’s picking out bits of meat from his burrito and feeding them to Pampushka. He looks rough. He’s got dark circles around his eyes and he’s paler than he should be.

 

Zoe knows she should ask if Gus has heard from Connor.

 

But she can’t bring herself to do it.

 

And from the looks of things, she already knows the answer.

 

The thing about Gus and Connor that Zoe took a long time to get used to was just how much they rely on each other. It’s still really fucking weird for her, to be perfectly honest. After getting over the initial shock of Connor being alive, not to mention the horrors of DYAD, she’d gotten to know Gus and while the twins couldn’t be more different, they always seem to function better when they’re together.

 

Zoe doesn’t believe that a person can complete another person, but there’s something about the bond between Gus and Connor that might make her dispute that. It’s not like they’re weirdly co-dependent - they both have their own lives and their own priorities - but they’re close, and it’s weird for Zoe to reconcile the way Connor acts around Gus with the brother she grew up knowing sometimes.

 

Zoe’s always known that Gus makes Connor better. That wasn’t even a question. Gus softens some of Connor’s edges but never lets him walk all over him. Gus is good for Connor.

 

It had taken a while for Zoe to realize that the relationship went both ways. That Connor was just as good for Gus. She’d kind of been slapped in the face with it around the time that Gus and Joe broke up after Joe moved to the UK. Gus wasn’t in a great space, and Connor was the one he went to for support. Zoe hadn’t been exactly jealous, but she was a little taken aback - she’d just kind of assumed that Gus would come to her. The Connor she knew wasn’t the kind of person who dealt with emotions all that well.

 

But Connor had known exactly what to do to help Gus. Exactly how to make him feel better. He’d practically moved into Gus’s apartment for two weeks, making sure Gus ate, going for walks with Pampushka and watching Space Jam over and over again, without any complaints. He’d been kind and patient and steady, steady in a way that Zoe had never seen before.

 

Zoe knows that at first, Connor was a little bit jealous of her relationship with Gus. She also knows that Gus is sometimes sad that he didn’t grow up knowing Zoe, that he doesn’t have the history that she shares with Connor. But when it comes down to it, she’s the one who should be jealous - Connor and Gus are each other’s rocks.

 

It’s clear that Gus isn’t doing so well with Connor off doing god knows what.

 

A part of Zoe is really fucking pissed off.

 

Another part can’t even process how she’d react if Hannah was the one who was missing. Who’d been missing for six days now.

 

She might be off being self-destructive as fuck as well.

 

Gus catches Zoe looking at her and his expression shifts. “Zoe, is it okay if we talk outside?” he says, and he’s holding himself a little awkwardly.

 

“Is everything okay?” Hannah asks sharply, looking between Zoe and Gus.

 

“Do not worry,” Gus assures her, “we must just talk business for a time.”

 

Zoe nods, then lets Gus lead her out into the hallway, Pampushka trotting along behind them.

 

“Derek called half an hour ago and said everything was fine,” Zoe says once they’re alone. “Has something happened?”

 

Gus looks sheepish. “That was a lie to make Hannah not worry,” he admits, his expression horribly guilty. He frowns, then opens his mouth to speak, then shuts it, then opens it again. “I am talking to Dad. He is saying he is worried for Heidi. I wanted to talk to you, because you are knowing her for more time than us. Maybe you are knowing what to say.”

 

Zoe feels her heart plummet. “She must be out of her mind with worry,” she says. “Evan’s… Evan’s so important to her. She loves him so much and they’ve been through so much… I can’t imagine how scared she must be.”

 

“Dad is making Heidi take some time off work,” Gus says, a little awkwardly, “and since then, she does not leave her bed. Sometimes she gets up for bathroom, but always she goes back to bed. It is… Dad thinks that it is not good.”

 

Zoe frowns. “First of all, making Heidi do anything is kind of bullshit,” she says, her voice coming out harsher than she means to. “I mean, I know he just wants to help, but… Heidi’s not the kind of person who can just sit around and do nothing, you know? She probably would have been better off going to work, even if just so she’s distracted.”

 

Gus nods. “I am not sure how to say this,” he confesses. “It is different when he looks after Connor and I. We are his children. When things are very bad for us, we are still teenagers. But Heidi is an adult, and knows her own mind… I think he is making a mistake, but I do not want to be disrespectful. I know he has good heart. Is trying his best.”

 

“I’ll call Jenny,” Zoe says decisively. “Maybe tomorrow we can all go over. Take Heidi out for lunch or something. See if we can help.”

 

“If it is okay, I would like to come too,” says Gus, and his voice is so tentative it kind of rips something in Zoe’s chest. “I like Heidi very much, and want her to feel better.”

 

They stand there for a while. Zoe braces herself.

 

“No word from Connor?”

 

Gus shakes his head. “No.” His face goes even paler. “I am asking Torpedo to use his phone to look for him. It says he is at his apartment, but I go there and I find his phone. He does not have it with him.”

 

Zoe feels cold. “That’s… that’s not good.”

 

Gus’s eyes are starting to well up. “I don’t know what to do,” he confesses, and Zoe pulls him into a hug and lets him cry on her shoulder for what feels like a long time.

 


	26. TWENTY-FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A park bench in Rhode Island.

Connor’s not sure exactly where he is, but he’s pretty sure it’s not Boston. Or even Massachusetts. He got in his car on Monday morning and started driving until he found a bar. Then started drinking. Then managed to sniff out someone selling coke and oxy and proceeded to practically buy them out and get as high as he could possibly manage then pass out in his car.

 

When he woke up, he kept driving and repeated the process again. And again. And again.

 

He’s not sure where the hell he is now. No idea what city or what state.

 

He’s not even sure where he parked his car.

 

His phone’s back at his apartment in Boston because he doesn’t want to be found.

 

He’s sitting on a park bench somewhere and it’s completely abandoned, except for the fact that Ben Childs is sitting next to him, wearing that stupid blazer, looking at him with disdain.

 

“You have no right to judge me,” Connor points out. “Fuck knows what you were on.”

 

“Adderall, mostly,” says Ben, his tone almost conversational. “You know you’ve fucked up, right?”

 

“Again, no right to judge me.” Connor blinks. “Also, you’re dead.”

 

“Which gives me some perspective.” Ben looks at him and kind of rolls his eyes as Connor pulls out a bag full of oxy tablets and tries to figure out how the fuck he’s gonna crush and snort this on a park bench. “So this is what you’re spending my trust fund on, huh.”

 

“Fuck you,” Connor scowls. “I wrote a book. They paid me money for it. I can do what I want.”

 

“Do you really think this is helping anyone?” Ben says, frowning. “Do you really think this is helping Evan?”

 

Connor freezes. “Don’t you dare talk about Evan. You don’t know him.”

 

“Not to mention what you said to Zoe,” Ben continues, as if Connor hadn’t even spoken. “And what you said to Gus.”

 

“You don’t know them, either, so shut the fuck up.”

 

“Again, being dead gives me perspective,” says Ben conversationally. “You know, when I said you could have my life, I didn’t mean for you to end up in exactly the same place I did. Alone, on drugs, sitting on a park bench.”

 

Connor takes a large handful of pills, figuring it’s his best option at this point. It’s not going to hit as fast, but it’ll do something, at least. “Yeah, well, call it cyclical storytelling,” he says wryly. “I’m a writer. I know about that shit.”

 

“And I don’t? I’m a writer too, you know.” Ben leans back against the park bench. He’s got a cup of black coffee from McDonald’s in his hand. Connor hadn’t noticed it earlier.

 

They sit in silence for a while, Ben sipping on his coffee and Connor just kind of staring at his shoes.

 

He’s wearing his boots.

 

Ben’s wearing his loafers.

 

He could have sworn they’d swapped.

 

“So this is the plan, huh?” Ben says, looking around. “You’re just gonna get high on a park bench in Rhode Island?”

 

Connor blinks. “I’m in Rhode Island?”

 

“Yeah, dude.”

 

“Huh. Weird.”

 

Ben swirls his cup of coffee around and finishes it in one gulp. “You do realize you’re just making things harder for everyone else, right? Making them worry about you on top if everything else.” He gives Connor a significant look. “Pretty selfish of you.”

 

Connor rolls his eyes. “Fuck you, Ben. You literally killed yourself, right in front of me, and forced me to take over your life. Don’t talk to me about being selfish.”

 

“My life worked out pretty well for you,” Ben points out. “You did a better job with it than I ever would.”

 

“I got your boyfriend killed. How is that better?”

 

Ben looks horribly sad for a moment and Connor kind of regrets saying anything.

 

He hasn’t thought about Jerome in years.

 

Mostly because it still hurts.

 

And if he thinks about Jerome and how it’s totally his fault he’s dead, he’ll start thinking about what’s happening to Evan and how that’s totally his fault as well.

 

“Guess I’m two for two on fucking over people I love,” Connor says bitterly.

 

Ben just looks at him for a long moment, then laughs a little. “Are you always this maudlin?”

 

“Like you have any right to call me maudlin.”

 

“You’re better than this, Connor.”

 

Connor sees red at that. He whirls around and gets all up in Ben’s face. “You don’t know me. You don’t know me and you never did, and you never gave me a choice in any of this. Fuck you. If if weren’t for you coming in and fucking up my life, I’d be…”

 

He doesn’t seem to be able to finish the sentence, but Ben has no such qualms.

 

“You’d be dead. You’d have never met Gus, or Seamus, or Reed or Torpedo or Lucas or Beanpole. You’d never have reconnected with your sister and you definitely wouldn’t have been with Evan. You’d be dead, and you’d have missed out on all of it.”

 

Connor doesn’t how to respond.

 

He really wants a drink, or possibly some more cocaine. Or both.

 

“I guess what you have to decide,” Ben continues matter-of-factly, “is if all of that was worth it. If all those people who care about you are worth sticking around for, even if Evan’s really gone.”

 

They sit in silence for a while.

 

“I don’t deserve any of them,” Connor says quietly. “I don’t deserve any of it.”

 

“Whether or not people care about you isn’t your decision. It’s theirs.” Ben smiles at him, a little sadly. “Take it from someone who no one cared about.”

 

“That’s not true,” Connor replies immediately.

 

Ben looks skeptical, but Connor’s not budging.

 

He thinks of Pippa.

 

He thinks of Reed and Torpedo and Lucas.

 

“People cared.”

 

Ben sighs. “It’s too late now, at any rate. I’m dead and you’re… well, you’re high on a park bench in Rhode Island.” He tilts his head a little. “How do you think they’d feel if someone found you dead here tomorrow morning? Dead on a park bench, just like me.”

 

“Wouldn’t happen,” Connor replies bitterly. “Haven’t you heard I’m indestructible?”

 

Ben just looks at him. “I very much doubt that’s true.”

 

“I grew back an eyeball. And a finger. When I was fourteen I tried to slit my wrists and it just didn’t work. I could probably snort my body weight in cocaine and wake up with a headache.”

 

“Maybe at first,” Ben says mildly, “but if you keep going and going, eventually it’ll wear you down. Remember how much longer it took Gus to recover from his wounds at the beginning? When he was underfed and exhausted and being tortured with bleach? The more you keep going with this, the more you’ll burn out and sooner or later you’ll reach the limits of what you can do.”

 

Connor raises an eyebrow. “Challenge accepted.”

 

Ben just stares at him. “You’re such a little shit, oh my god.”

 

Connor smirks. “Yeah well, I was worse at seventeen.”

 

Ben actually laughs at that. “You’d have driven me crazy. If we’d really known each other.”

 

“We could have used your help,” Connor blurts out suddenly. “Back then. We didn’t know what we were doing. You did. You had all the fucking answers and you just left. And you… I watched you die and it was like watching myself die and it fucked me up, dude. And… and Reed and Torpedo and Lucas didn’t deserve that. They all blame themselves. All of them. They think they should have realized you weren’t coping, and should have stopped you, but you didn’t let them in. If you’d actually fucking talked to them, they could have helped you. They wanted to help you and you didn’t give them the chance. It wasn’t fair. It’s not fucking fair.”

 

“Fair doesn’t matter,” Ben says simply. “Fair has never mattered. No one cares about what’s fair.”

 

“You were just a kid.” Connor blinks a couple of times and realizes with horror that he’s crying. “You were just a damn kid, and your parents were assholes, and you died alone and I couldn’t stop you.”

 

“I didn’t die alone. You were there.”

 

“But I left.”

 

“Because you had to.”

 

“But I didn’t stop you.”

 

“Because you couldn’t.”

 

Connor doesn’t feel like arguing with a ghost on a park bench in Rhode Island anymore.

 

“What’s it like being dead?” he asks instead.

 

He thinks he vaguely remembers someone asking him that very question ten years ago

 

Evan.

 

It was Evan.

 

“I can’t tell you that,” says Ben. Patiently, as if explaining to a child.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because I’m not really here.”

 

Connor scowls. “Fuck you.”

 

Ben rolls his eyes. “Well, this has been fun.” He stands up. “We should go.”

 

Connor stands up, too. “Go where?”

 

“Somewhere that’s not a damn park bench,” says Ben, a little impatiently. “Let’s go.”

 

Connor follows Ben out of the park and down a quiet suburban street, so much like the one he grew up on that it kind of hurts.

 

Ben doesn’t say much, just keeps walking determinedly. Connor struggles to keep up. He’s tired. He’s worn out.

 

All he really wants to do right now is sleep, but for some reason it’s really important that he follow Ben.

 

Or, like, Ben’s ghost. Or a hallucination.

 

Fucking hell.

 

They walk for what feels like forever. It’s cold, colder than it should be, and Connor’s shivering a little but focuses on keeping up with Ben, who is starting to blur around the edges. He’s not sure if it’s because he’s starting to disappear or if Connor’s just starting to lose it.

 

After a while, Connor starts to realize the streets are changing. They’ve clearly passed the residential area.

 

There’s a bar on the corner. Ben stops outside the door.

 

“Your stop.”

 

Connor blinks.

 

“Are you coming with me?”

 

Ben shakes his head. “Not my place anymore.”

 

Connor blinks again. “What do you expect me to do?”

 

Ben doesn’t reply. The next time Connor blinks, Ben is gone.

 

For lack of anything else to do, Connor heads into the bar and orders a whiskey.

 

Then he sits in the corner and tries not to think anymore.

 

He orders another drink. Then another five.

 

The room’s starting to get blurry when someone sits in the seat next to him.

 

“Hey man, you okay?”

 

Connor blinks. “Oh hey. You’re back.”

 

Ben frowns. “I don’t think we know each other, dude. I just noticed you sitting here and you look like you’re in pretty bad shape.”

 

“Quit fucking around, Ben.”

 

The man in front of him laughs awkwardly. “I’m, uh, my name’s Jeff? I just… where are you from?”

 

“Boston.”

 

“Boston? Are you staying somewhere nearby?”

 

Connor shakes his head. Then lays it on the table.

 

Everything feels floaty and weird.

 

He can hear Ben or Jeff or whoever talking, but he’s not really registering what’s being said. Something about a message and then he’s being given a glass of water and then he’s being led out of the bar and into a car and part of him knows he should be worried but he honestly doesn’t care enough right now.

 

Everything goes blurry for a while.

 

He wakes up with a headache, on an unfamiliar couch.

 

“... most worried. Thank you for your message.”

 

“I think he’s coming round.”

 

Connor opens his eyes and sees three familiar faces.

 

“Ben?”

 

“Not exactly,” says Reed, frowning deeply. “Jesus fuck, Connor, what are you on?”

 

“What the hell? What are you doing here?”

 

“Jeff sends Reed a message on the Clonebook,” says a familiar voice. Connor’s heart plummets at the sight of Gus, his face pale and scared. “He is finding you in a bar. Is worried. You say you are from Boston, he is finding clone in Boston to take care of you.”

 

“I figured it was the best idea,” says the other guy who’s got the same haircut as Ben but obviously isn’t. “Gus and Reed are gonna get you home, okay?”

 

“I don’t know where my car is,” Connor says, a little helplessly.

 

“Okay,” says the other clone. Jeff? His voice is calm. He looks at Reed. “Let me know the license plate number, I’ll put out some feelers and see if it shows up. But for now I think he just needs to get home safely.”

 

There’s a flurry of activity and thank yous and Connor’s practically dragged into Gus’s van, where he promptly passes out again.

 

The next time he wakes up, he smells vanilla.

 

He’s running to throw up in Gus’s bathroom before he’s even really registered he’s in Gus’s apartment.

 

He vomits for a long time, and there is someone there rubbing his back and saying soothing words in a language he doesn’t speak and Connor can’t help but start crying because he’s an asshole who doesn’t deserve this and he should have died instead of Ben and none of this should have ever happened and…

 

“Ssshhh,” says Gus quietly. “No more. No more words for now. We will have some water, and then some sleep, and tomorrow we will talk.”

 

“I’m so fucking sorry, Gus.”

 

“I am glad we find you. I was very, very worried.”

 

“I’m such a fucking asshole.”

 

“Yes. But you are my brother and I love you.”

 

Connor barely has the energy to move but lets Gus guide him to his bedroom.

 

He’s asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.


	27. TWENTY-SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming to terms.

Gus wakes up early on Thursday morning, even though he does not sleep until late last night. Connor is still sleeping, and for a moment Gus is scared because he does not move. 

 

He stays still, and hears him breathing, and relaxes somewhat. 

 

Gus thinks about sleeping some more, but he is feeling most uneasy and does not think he can. Instead, he has a shower and starts to make some eggs, then sits in the kitchen and eats them while he thinks of what to do next. 

 

Last night was very strange. After he visits Hannah in hospital and speaks with Zoe, he goes home and watches Handsome Funny John on Netflix because it is always making him feel better. It is late when Reed calls him, their voice full of panic. 

 

“Connor’s in Rhode Island.”

 

Gus is not sure how to react. It does not make sense. “How are you knowing this?”

 

“There’s that website for clones to stay in contact. I got a message from a clone named Jeff in Rhode Island who found a clone with long hair who said he’s from Boston at a bar, drunk and possibly on drugs. Jeff took him back to his apartment but he’s talking about taking him to the hospital and if it’s Connor, that’s a really bad idea.”

 

Gus does not wish it to be so but it does sound like Connor. 

 

He gets in his van, drives to pick up Reed and then goes to the address the clone is giving him in Rhode Island. 

 

It is indeed Connor, and he is passed out on a stranger’s couch, and Gus is very, very afraid for him. Jeff is a nice enough man but he seems also quite frightened, or at least not comfortable with what is happening. Gus is very grateful that he is messaging. 

 

Gus drives the van and Reed stays with Connor in the back, and Connor drifts in and out and says things that do not make sense and keeps talking of Ben. 

 

This is the part that makes Gus unsettled. 

 

Ben Childs has been dead for over ten years. 

 

Reed helps Gus bring Connor into his apartment, and puts him to bed, and checks that he is breathing. 

 

“We need to do something,” Reed says, their expression very scared. “He’s… sure, he’s got regenerative abilities, but he could really hurt himself if he keeps going on like this. There’s no telling what he’s taken.”

 

“I will speak with him,” Gus promises. “Maybe what is happening today will make him understand.” 

 

Reed looks at Gus and frowns. “He wouldn’t stop talking about Ben.”

 

“What is he saying?” Gus asks, because this is strange and he is curious. 

 

“Mostly just ‘fuck off, Ben’.” Reed’s face is very pale. “Like he’s…  _ seeing him _ or some bullshit. Like he’s so high he’s hallucinating.” 

 

“This is… this is not good. I will speak with him.”

 

“You don’t have to do this on your own,” Reed says, frowning more. 

 

“He is my twin.”

 

“And that’s important, I know, but… Torpedo and I can back you up here, okay? We’ll… we’ll come around tomorrow. And all of us can talk. Maybe between the three of us, we’ll get through to him.”

 

Gus feels very helpless. 

 

“Okay.”

 

Now it is morning and there must be a plan. Gus likes it when there is a plan, especially when there are things that are difficult that must be done. It is too early for a call, he thinks, but he sends a message to Reed and Torpedo. 

 

Reed replies immediately, and says that they are on their way.

 

Gus feeds Pampushka and gives her hair a brush while he waits. When Reed arrives, he is feeling much more calm that he does not have to do this alone. Reed also looks tired but their face is very determined. 

 

“I’m guessing Connor’s still asleep,” Reed says, putting down their bag on the sofa. 

 

“He is still sleeping,” Gus confirms. “But I do not know if he will wake and be sick again. He is not well.”

 

“Doing a fuckton of drugs and getting totally wasted will do that,” Reed says with a roll of their eyes. 

 

Pampushka is full of energy and leaps up on Reed, who gives her much attention. 

 

“On normal mornings, we go for run,” Gus says apologetically. “She has much energy because we have not done this. I do not want to leave Connor.”

 

“I’ll make sure he doesn’t go anywhere,” Reed promises. “Go take your dog for a run.”

 

Gus is hesitant, but agrees, and goes to change into running clothes. He and Pampushka have a longer run than usual, and at the end Pampushka is very tired, but Gus feels like he is still full of nervous energy. 

 

When he returns home, Connor is sitting on the couch, drinking coffee. Reed is next to him and they do not seem to be talking to each other much. 

 

Gus understands this. Connor is not well and must not feel like talking. 

 

Also, Gus thinks that Reed is very angry with Connor. 

 

Gus is somewhat angry too, but mostly he is worried. 

 

“You’re back,” says Connor, and his voice does not have life in it. “Did you have a good run?”

 

“It is good,” Gus says, not sure what else to say. “I will have shower, and we will talk.”

 

He takes his time in the shower, trying to decide what it is he needs to say. He wants to be truthful, and he does not want to cause unnecessary pain, and he does not want that the conversation goes badly. 

 

He does not think he is strong enough for the conversation to go badly this time. He is tired, and he is worried, and he is scared that he might lose his twin if this continues. 

 

When he has finished his shower, he still does not have the words he needs. 

 

Pampushka climbs onto his lap when he sits on the couch next to Connor. Connor’s face is so pale he is almost gray, and Gus can tell that he is feeling very sick. 

 

Gus must be strong. 

 

They sit in silence for a while. 

 

Gus is somewhat surprised when it is Connor who speaks first. 

 

“I fucked up.”

 

Reed snorts. “No shit.”

 

“I mean, I really fucked up, I… I just… I’m really fucking sorry.”

 

All is quiet for some time. 

 

“We must have a plan,” Gus says finally. “For how we make sure this does not happen again.”

 

Connor nods, very fast. “Okay. Yeah, okay, whatever you want.”

 

“It is not about what I want,” Gus replies, and his voice is more harsh than he wants it to be. “It is about keeping you safe. Things are hard right now. Very hard. We do not know what will happen next. Perhaps we have good news, perhaps.... Perhaps we have the worst news. We do not know. But we must make sure you are safe throughout. We must all be safe.”

 

Again, it is quiet. 

 

“Before all of this happened,” Reed begins, their voice careful, “were you still seeing Melody? Going to therapy regularly?” 

 

Connor looks a little guilty, then shakes his head. “It kind of… I kind of just kept putting it off. It hasn’t been regular.”

 

“Okay, so we call her,” Reed says firmly. “And we get that sorted again. Okay?”

 

Connor nods. 

 

Reed looks at Connor for a long moment. “I really want to tell you that we’re getting closer to finding out what happened to Evan,” they say finally. “But I don’t know if we are. We’re starting to piece it all together but when it comes to figuring out where he is, why they want him and what they might be doing… we don’t know. And that… I hate it. I completely, totally hate it, because he’s my friend and my colleague and pretty much family. I want to be able to tell you to just hold on, that we’ll figure it out, that we’ll mount some daring rescue attempt and get him back, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen. And I need to know that I won’t lose you, as well. Because I don’t think I can handle that.”

 

“I’ll talk to Melody,” Connor says, his voice very small. “I’ll… I’ll stay sober.”

 

“I know you went to rehab in high school,” Reed says, frowning. “Do we… is that something you need again?”

 

Connor just blinks a few times. “No. No, I don’t… I don’t want that. I… I’ll just stop.”

 

“Don’t know if that’s how it works,” Reed points out, but their voice is kind even though the words are harsh. “But I also don’t know if sending you somewhere is the best idea with everything that’s going on with DYAD and Neolution.” They sigh, then look Connor straight in the eye. “Here’s how it’s going to work. Someone will stay with you for the next few days while you detox. It’s going to fucking suck.”

 

Connor winces. “Yeah, I remember that.”

 

“Gus, can he stay here?”

 

“Of course,” Gus replies immediately. 

 

Reed nods. “Good. Okay. It’s not just going to be Gus looking after you, though. It’s going to be all of us. Me, Torpedo, Gus, Beanpole and Lucas.”

 

Connor’s eyes widen in alarm. “You told Lucas?”

 

“Yes,” Reed replies firmly. “He’s your brother and he loves you and he wants to help.” 

 

Connor leans back against the couch but does not say anything. Gus thinks that Connor is not pleased that Lucas knows, but is sure that Lucas does care very, very much. 

 

They are a team, all six of them. 

 

Gus is starting to feel like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. 

 

Things are still very bad, but they will all work together. 

 

It will be alright. 

 

* * *

 

Zoe has every intention of getting some sleep when she gets home from the hospital on Thursday morning. She really does. 

 

Unfortunately, her brain seems to have other ideas. 

 

She’d spent the night at the hospital with Hannah, because she’s still completely terrified that if she leaves her alone something will happen. There was a cot set up so she could sleep, but she hadn’t managed to get much rest at all. 

 

Mostly because at around eleven, Gus texted her to say that they’d found Connor. 

 

Naturally, Zoe had wanted to know exactly what the hell was going on. Once Gus told her she was almost sorry she’d asked. 

 

She’s beyond pissed at Connor right now. 

 

Beyond scared, beyond terrified. 

She thought they were done with this. Thought he was different now. Watching him be reckless and self-destructive is too much like when they were teenagers. Reminds her too much of how awful things used to be between them. 

 

Reminds her of the years she spent thinking he was dead. 

 

Makes her worry that if he’s not careful, he’ll end up dead for real. 

 

No popping up alive three years later, but properly in the ground. 

 

She’s already lost her parents. She can’t lose Connor, too. 

 

Reed had called her to let her know they’d gotten Connor back to Gus’s. They’d had some kind of intervention planned and asked if Zoe wanted to be part of it, but she didn’t think she’d be able to stay any kind of calm. 

 

She’d just start screaming at him and she’s fairly certain that defeats the purpose of any kind of fucking intervention. 

 

Ruth and Daniel arrived at around nine, took one look at her and sent her home immediately. Ruth made her promise she’d get some sleep, and she’d honestly tried, but it had mostly just resulted in her lying in bed for three hours, then eventually giving up and getting up. 

 

Zoe stares at her phone and debates calling Gus. Or Reed. Or anyone else who might know how Connor’s doing. 

 

But she’s too pissed off at him to deal with it right now. 

 

Instead, she calls Jenny Hetherington. 

 

“Zoe? Hey, what’s going on?”

 

“I was talking to Gus last night,” Zoe says, deciding she’s going to focus on a different problem. “Seamus told him that Heidi’s having a hard time dealing with… everything. I thought maybe we could go over there? Check in on her?”

 

Jenny’s quiet for a moment, then Zoe hears her sigh. “She hasn’t been answering my calls,” she says. “Last I heard, she was going back to work. At first I wasn’t convinced, but she said she’d feel better if she was staying busy, so I figured I’d trust her judgment.”

 

“From the sounds of things, Seamus convinced her to take some time off,” Zoe replies curtly. “And now she’s not getting out of bed.”

 

“Shit.”

 

“Shall I pick you up?” Zoe asks, completely aware that she’s pushing it, she’s being a human bulldozer, but needing to do something right now to feel like she’s got some semblance of control. 

 

“I’ll text you the address,” Jenny replies, and Zoe’s really fucking grateful that Torpedo’s mom is so cool. 

 

Zoe showers, then puts her hair up in a ponytail and heads to the hotel where Jenny’s staying. Jenny’s waiting for her outside and gets in the passenger seat, then suggests they stop at a convenience store to get supplies. Zoe immediately agrees and makes sure to pay for everything, despite Jenny’s protests. 

 

She has a ridiculous amount of money. It’s the least she can fucking do. 

 

When they get to Seamus and Heidi’s, it takes a while for Seamus to answer the door. He looks tired and worried, but seems pleased to see them. Zoe doesn’t spend much time with pleasantries - instead, she heads straight into the master bedroom and opens the curtains, then turns to see the Heidi-shaped lump under the covers not responding

 

Heidi Hansen is one of the strongest people she knows.

 

Seeing her like this… hurts. 

 

“Heidi? It’s Zoe. Jenny and I came to visit.”

 

The lump under the covers moves, ever so slightly at first, then a blonde head pops out. Heidi’s looking at her, eyes rimmed red and bloodshot, face pale and tear-streaked. 

 

Zoe’s going to tear DYAD or Neolution or whatever the fuck they want to call themselves with her bare hands. 

 

“Zoe?” Heidi’s voice is scratchy, no doubt from lack of use. She peers out at Zoe, then awkwardly moves to sit up. “Is Hannah okay?” 

 

“Hannah’s fine,” Zoe assures her. 

 

This isn’t strictly true but she’s fairly certain it’s what Heidi needs to hear at this point in time. 

 

“That’s good,” Heidi says weakly. She rubs her face. “God, I must look like a total mess. It’s just…”

 

She trails off, and starts crying, and Zoe sits on the edge of the bed and pulls her into a hug. 

 

“It’s going to be okay,” Zoe says, because it’s what you say, and she really needs Heidi to be okay because if Heidi’s not okay, then what hope do the rest of them have? 

 

“We brought lunch,” announces Jenny from the doorway. “There’s quiche, and some fresh fruit, and also a chocolate cake because it felt like a chocolate cake kind of day.” 

 

Heidi pulls away from Zoe somewhat reluctantly and looks toward the doorway, face coloring with embarrassment as she sees Jenny. “You didn’t need to do that, Jen.”

 

“I absolutely did,” says Jenny firmly. “And it was all Zoe’s doing anyway.” Zoe offers a smile, and Jenny sits on the edge of the bed. “So here’s the plan. I’m going to put this quiche in the oven. It might take a little while, so how about you have a shower? Then we can have some lunch, then maybe watch some Netflix. Just a nice chilled out afternoon. What do you say?”

 

Heidi stares for a moment, then nods. It takes her a little while, but she gets out of bed and heads toward the bathroom, seeming a little dazed. 

 

While Heidi’s showering, Jenny puts the quiche in the oven as promised. Seamus is sitting in the lounge, looking a little shell-shocked. 

 

“She hasn’t gotten out of bed since Monday night,” Seamus confesses to Zoe. “Apart from going to the bathroom. She’s just… it’s been hard.”

 

“Maybe her taking time off work wasn’t the best idea,” Zoe says frankly. 

 

Seamus kind of frowns. “I thought she needed the break. I just wanted to help.”

 

“Yeah, you don’t get to decide what’s best for her. She wanted to go to work and keep her mind off things and you convinced her not to and she didn’t get out of bed for three days. Nice work.” 

 

Zoe’s not exactly an expert at reading Seamus’s facial expressions, but he looks more than a little offended. Before he can say anything, though, Jenny pipes up from the doorway. 

 

“Zoe’s got a point, Seamus.” 

 

His face falls. “I just wanted to help,” he says again. This time it’s sadder. 

 

“It’s going to be hard,” Jenny says matter-of-factly. “You’re going to have to trust that she knows what’s best for her, Seamus.” 

 

“Okay,” says Seamus simply. “I’ll do that. I…” He sighs, and frowns, and sighs again. “I just wish there was something I could do. I wish I knew how to get Evan back.” 

 

Zoe’s still kind of pissed at Seamus, but she definitely agrees with him on that one. 


	28. TWENTY-SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day in the life of Agent Fence.

Charles is going to get Rita a rather large fruit basket. 

 

He’s not a hundred percent sure where one would get a fruit basket, but he’s going to find one and he’s going to have it delivered to Rita. She’s gone completely above and beyond and Charles honestly can’t imagine how they would have survived without her. 

 

It’s less than a week after the explosion and Rita has already somehow managed to find them not only an office they can use, but also a short-term lab space. Turns out she knew someone who knew someone who knew someone, and long story short they have the basics of the Boston ERAS Center up and running again come Thursday morning. 

 

It’ll be another week before they bring the staff in, but everyone’s hard at work, getting things back to as close to the status quo as they can. Lili, Miranda, and Tina prove an efficient team, and Torpedo and Jared do seem to work rather well together. 

 

Charles had to admit, he’d worried about friction. He’s well aware that Jared and Evan didn’t exactly part on good terms the last time they saw each other and he’s even more acutely aware that neither Jared nor Connor are each other’s favorite person. Considering that Torpedo’s so close to Connor, Charles had expected there might be some hiccups.

 

However, he needn’t have worried. Despite the fact that he still dresses like a teenager, Torpedo has been nothing but professional the whole time. And, as Charles suspected, once they spent some time together, Jared and Torpedo actually got along swimmingly. 

 

It’s almost too good to be true, Charles thinks. All of the practical things to get the Boston ERAS Center back up and running seem to be going well. 

 

There’s only four of them in the office - Charles, Torpedo, Jared and Gaëlle. Gaëlle had schoolwork to do at the request of her teachers back in Switzerland, and she’s diligently working through it with more patience than Charles remembers her having the last time he saw her. 

 

Every now and then, she’ll ask the room a question about whatever she was working on, and one of the three of them would answer. Gaëlle had been a little hesitant of Torpedo at first, but she’d quickly warmed up to him. Torpedo’s managed to get Gaëlle to dissolve into a fit of giggles when all of a sudden, she stops in her tracks and her eyes pop wide open with fear and horror. 

 

“Something very bad happened,” she says, her eyes filling with tears. “One of them saw something very, very bad.” 

 

Jared’s at her side in an instant, pulling her into a hug, and Charles desperately wants to ask what’s happened but holds his tongue. 

 

Lili, Jared, Tina, Reed, and Charles had had a long conversation about Gaëlle’s “abilities”, for lack of a better word. The scientist in Charles is loathe to start thinking along the lines of a ‘psychic connection’ or any such nonsense, but another part of him knows that human cloning’s strange enough in and of itself, not to mention Connor and Gus’s accelerated healing. Some kind of connection isn’t outside the realm of possibility. 

 

And it seems like the connection has shown up again. 

 

Charles knows it’s selfish, but he hopes that whatever’s just happened has nothing to do with them. 

 

That hope is dashed when his phone rings. He answers it without even looking. 

 

“Hello?” 

 

“Charles? It’s Agent Fence.” 

 

“Something’s happened, hasn’t it?” Charles says before he can stop himself. 

 

There’s silence on the line, then Agent Fence continues. “We found Bob Buskirk and his granddaughter dead in their home in New York. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Did it just happen?” Charles asks. 

 

“Yes. We came to interview them, the door was open… I won’t go into details, but it wasn’t pretty.” Fence’s voice is maddeningly even. “I’m sorry. I know you knew them.”

 

“Are you alright?” 

 

Another silence. “This is part of the job, Charles. You get used to it.”

 

Given that Gaëlle’s still a sobbing heap in Jared’s arms, Charles very much doubts this is true. 

 

“What was the point of killing them?” Charles asks, keeping his voice quiet so Gaëlle can’t hear. “They told me everything they knew already. It’s not like Neolution’s managed to silence them.”

 

“Yes, but they didn’t make an official statement,” Fence counters. “It just means there’s more red tape.” He sighs. “At least we were there when Dr. van Druten told us what happened. I’ve still got more questions for her, however. Once we’re finished here, we’re going to take her into protective custody for a while. It’s likely they’ll go after her next.”

 

“So when they killed Bob and Magnet, it was just revenge?” Charles replies, trying to keep the surge of anger that’s rippling through him under control. “They’d been through enough. They… they didn’t deserve this. I should have made them go into hiding. I should have protected them.”

 

“I’m sorry,” says Fence, his voice quiet and solemn. “I’d never met them, but… well, Bob’s the original. He’s our future, in a way.” 

 

Yet another silence. 

 

“Well, at least we know we age well,” says Fence, and it’s such an unexpected joke that it genuinely startles Charles. 

 

“Thank heavens for small mercies.”

 

Another pause, and then they both laugh, and even though it’s uneasy it helps somewhat. 

 

“We’ll be heading back to Boston this afternoon,” says Fence. 

 

“You’re with Brewer?” 

 

“Well, she is my partner.”

 

“Good,” Charles finds himself saying. “Good, you - she’s good.”

 

Fence’s laugh is slightly less uneasy this time. More real. “I suppose she’s alright.” He sighs. “I don’t have a lot of time, but quickly before you go - what’s been your impression of Dr. van Druten, having worked with her?” 

 

Charles has to take a moment to think about that. To be perfectly frank, his memories of working with her are colored slightly by how easily she sold her colleagues out, how disdainfully she talked about the Phanes clones.

 

Her obvious lack of respect for him and everything’s he worked for. 

 

Not that this is a new feeling - when ERAS began, Charles was 21 and the public face of human cloning to the scientific community. He’s used to not being taken seriously. As far as he’s concerned, the proof is in the pudding, and he’s worked hard for what they’ve accomplished. 

 

It doesn’t mean Dr. van Druten’s words didn’t sting, however. 

 

“In all honesty, I’d never had any problems with her,” Charles admits after a moment. “She was perfectly respectful in a workplace environment. She contributed, she challenged when necessary - it was evident she took her work seriously.” He frowns. “Which is why I’m not exactly pleased to know she was plotting to tear the whole place down.” 

 

“Thank you,” says Fence, and Charles can hear the fatigue in his voice. “I’ll be taking her to a safe house later on this evening, provided she’s willing to work with us further.”

 

“Alright. Well, if there’s anything you need from me, do let me know.”

 

“Of course. Thank you, Charles.” 

 

Charles hesitates before wrapping up the call. “Just to confirm - you are alright, aren’t you?” 

 

There’s another silence before Fence replies. 

 

“I’m always alright.”

 

Charles looks across the room to where Gaëlle is still crying. 

 

“Right. Of course. Travel safe.”

 

* * *

 

“And you’re sure you’re alright to escort her by yourself?” 

 

Drew sighs. “Brewer. It’s fine. I can handle it.”

 

It’s the fourth time Brewer’s asked since they landed in Boston and Drew’s getting a little frustrated. He can definitely handle getting a bitchy doctor to a safe house. He’s a professional. He knows what he’s doing. This is just part of the job, and it’s the most mundane part ninety-nine percent of the time. 

 

To be honest, he’s pretty sure he’s got the better end of the deal, as Brewer will be up all night doing paperwork. 

 

It has occurred to him that Brewer, who knows how much he hates paperwork, organized things this way on purpose. Still, she seems on edge and keeps giving him concerned glances, and it’s not helping calm the frantic beating of his heart that hasn’t let up since he walked into an apartment in Brooklyn and saw a man who looked like a future version of himself with a bullet between his eyes. 

 

This is his job. 

 

His career. 

 

Just because someone looks like him doesn’t mean he’s allowed to let their death spook him. 

 

Drew had read up about Bob Buskirk on the drive back to Boston. It was enough to make his stomach churn. 

 

He hadn’t known. 

 

In all his research about Phanes, about his own history, he hadn’t known that they’d taken Bob’s genetic material by force. 

 

That it had cost him his wife, his daughter and his peace of mind. 

 

All Bob wanted was to live a quiet life with his granddaughter, the granddaughter he never got to see grow up, and Neolution had to put a bullet between his eyes. 

 

At least for Bob, it had been quick. His granddaughter had had her throat slit. 

 

Drew isn’t the kind to theorize wildly without any proof (he leaves that to Brewer), but if he had to guess, he’d say that Magnet died first. 

 

That Bob had to watch her die. 

 

He still feels sick. The whole thing makes him feel like there’s something crawling under his skin. 

 

Drew grew up watching cop shows. There are plenty of characters with tragic backstories, who’ve had horrible trauma in their lives that spur them on to fight for justice and make them better cops and all that shit. 

 

If he had to watch someone he loves die in front of him, he doesn’t know it if would inspire him to greatness. 

 

He thinks it would just break him. 

 

Not for the first time since he saw Magnet and Bob dead in that apartment, Drew thinks about calling his sister. 

 

It’s been six years. 

 

He doesn’t know if she’d even pick up the phone. 

 

“You’ll have backup arriving,” Brewer says, pulling her hair into a messy bun and securing it with a pen. “You won’t be on your own on this one.”

 

Drew would never say because it’s got nothing to do with him and it’s her damn hair, but he always likes it when she wears it up. He likes being able to see her face, especially when they’re working a case together. Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves but Marigold Brewer wears her mind on her face. 

 

It’s gotten to the stage that he knows before she says anything if she’s had a breakthrough. He can tell by the way her eyebrows move, a subtle change in her jaw. 

 

Not that Drew spends an unhealthy amount of time looking at his partner when they’re working on cases together. 

 

Obviously. 

 

He puts on his jacket and is about to leave when Brewer gives him this look that’s so full of concern it stops him in his tracks. 

 

“I’m fine,” he says before she can say anything. 

 

“We see some fucked up shit in this job,” she replies, “but I’ve never seen a murder victim who looks like me. You’re allowed to not be fine.” She frowns a little. “Maybe you’re too close to this.”

 

“Don’t you dare,” he shoots back before he can stop himself. “Don’t you dare try to pull me off this one, Marigold.”

 

She’s still frowning, but there’s a flash of… something in her eyes. “Okay,” she says simply. “Be careful, okay?”

 

“I always am.”

 

Dr. van Druten got herself a hotel room in the same hotel where Charles and his wife are staying last night, so that’s where Drew’s headed. He’s let Charles know ahead of time to keep too many familiar faces out of the lobby. 

 

Before he goes into the room, he meets up with his backup. They’re both unassuming looking guys who easily fade into the background. 

 

The plan is simple. Meet the doctor in the lobby, have a drink and then leave in the flow of people coming and going. 

 

When he gets into the lobby, he almost doesn’t recognize Dr. van Druten in a cocktail dress with her hair done up. It’s a nice enough hotel so she doesn’t look out of place, but it does make him feel a little bit uncomfortable. 

 

Drew takes a seat next to her at the bar. “Evening,” he says blandly. 

 

“Do you come here often?” she says, her voice dripping with irony. 

 

This is already off to a bad start. He can tell she’s had a couple of drinks already. 

 

Still, he can work with that. 

 

“Not particularly,” he replies. He gestures to the bartender. “Soda and lime, please.”

 

Dr. van Druten tilts her head. “Oh come on, kid. Live a little. Have a cocktail. You’re legal, right?”

 

“I’m twenty-seven.”

 

Her face darkens. “Like I don’t know that. Like I’d ever forget that.”

 

“Of course,” he replies, keeping his voice as neutral as he can. His poker face has gotten him out of plenty of scrapes in the past and has the added bonus of driving people nuts half the time. 

 

He has to admit, he uses it more than he should. 

 

Dr. van Druten orders another margarita and drags her finger around the rim, collecting the salt then licking it off her finger. 

 

Drew tries not to let on just how uncomfortable this is making him. 

 

“So,” she says, her voice conversational. “Bob.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“I knew him back when the project began, obviously,” she says, before taking a sip of her drink. “He never did like doing things the easy way.”

 

Drew refuses to rise to the bait. “I heard.”

 

“Still,” she says as she puts her glass down. She looks him up and down, and there’s something predatory in her eyes. “He was never bad to look at. At least you know you’ll age well. And there’s something to be said for the stamina of youth.”

 

There’s something about her tone that makes him feel like he needs a shower. Drew has nothing against older women in principle, and he’s not against flirting, but this is one of the scientists responsible for creating him and his clones. It’s all weird and slightly incestuous and he’s not enjoying it in the slightest. 

 

Then again, there’s a part of him that’s fairly certain she’s just pushing to see if she can get a reaction out of him. 

 

Her words from earlier in the week come back to him.

 

_ “It’s madness, the way they all treat you like real people.” _

 

He isn’t sure what to say, so he doesn’t say anything. 

 

Dr. van Druten’s face falls, and she’s about to respond when the unexpected happens. 

 

The bartender leans over the bar, smashes a glass and stabs the doctor in the jugular. 

 

Drew barely has time to react before both of them tumble to the floor. There’s chaos and screaming and he moves as quickly as he can to stop the blood flow on Dr. van Druten’s neck, a sick feeling rising in his stomach. 

 

When the paramedics arrive, he already knows it’s too late. 


	29. TWENTY-EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody said it was easy.

Reed spends pretty much all day Thursday at Gus’s apartment with Gus and Connor. 

 

It’s not pretty. 

 

They’d done a bit of research about detoxing and knew it was supposed to be tough but they hadn’t realized just how tough. Connor’s a miserable mess, shaking and sweaty, when he’s not running off to the bathroom to puke or worse. Over the course of the day, Gus grows increasingly concerned at just how sick Connor is. 

 

“I know we cannot call a doctor,” says Gus in a low voice, talking to Reed in the kitchen so Connor won’t overhear. “But he is very sick. Is there anything else we can do to make it less bad?” 

 

“Not really,” Reed replies, a little hesitantly. “I mean, I’m not an expert, but… I’m pretty sure this is normal. Like, it’s supposed to be this awful.”

 

Gus frowns, then lets out a sigh. “I am not needing reason to not do drugs, but I think this is it.” He looks horribly sad. “I do not like it that he is in such pain.”

 

“I don’t like it either,” Reed admits. “But this is how it’s going to be for a while.”

 

“How long will it last?”

 

Reed shrugs. “He’s going to be really, really fucking sick for the next three days at least. And possibly for a while longer. But with the healing thing that you guys have, it might not be quite as bad. I don’t know.” 

 

“Okay,” says Gus. He sighs, and then gets a bottle of cold water out of the fridge. “I will make sure he has enough water.” 

 

With that, they head back into the living room where Connor’s staring blankly at the TV screen, shivering on the couch that Gus and Reed had pulled out into a bed to try and get him a bit more comfortable. 

 

Reed doesn’t think it’s really working, but at least they’re trying. 

 

They binge-watch Adventure Time, which Connor doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to, but Reed thinks it’s got more to do with making Gus feel like he’s got a bit more control of the situation. Reed thinks back to the last time the three of them were watching Adventure Time on a couch, nearly ten years ago now.

 

Things were definitely different then, but Reed can’t decide if they were better or worse. 

 

Around about the hundredth time Connor disappears to go puke or shit or whatever other unpleasant thing detoxing causes, Torpedo arrives. By this stage it’s early evening, and he’s brought along a duffel bag. 

 

“Figured I’d crash here tonight and help out,” he says, taking a seat on one of Gus’s very soft armchairs. He pulls out his laptop. “I do have some more work to do. This new security software design is no joke.”

 

“Hope Beanpole’s paying you,” says Reed with a raise of their eyebrows. “You’ve been putting in a heck of a lot of work.”

 

Torpedo just laughs. “Reed, I have enough money to last me three lifetimes after Pizza Torpedo. I could work for free for the rest of my life and still buy like, a hundred yachts.”

 

“I’d forgotten all about that,” they confess.

 

About three years ago, Torpedo had gotten really high and created a phone game app with a designer friend of his. The main point of the game seemed to be how many different things you could throw pizzas at. It was, by Torpedo’s own admission, fucking ridiculous.

 

Anyway, he and his friend had put it on the app stores and it went unexpectedly viral, to everyone’s surprise.

 

It had made Torpedo a seriously impressive amount of money, which had confused Gus, frustrated Lucas and absolutely delighted Connor because it was so incredibly ridiculous. 

 

Heidi and Zoe had spent nearly six months in fierce competition over who had the highest score.

 

“What would you do with a hundred yachts?” asks Gus. “I remember that you get very sick on boats. I think there are better things to spend your money on, Torpedo.”

 

“You’re not wrong.”

 

Connor comes back then, pale and shaking. Torpedo takes one look at him and his face falls. 

 

“Hey,” Connor says weakly. 

 

“Hey,” Torpedo replies, his expression deeply sympathetic. “You hanging in there?”

 

Connor just kind of shrugs and curls up on the couch again. Gus rests his hand on Connor’s shoulder and squeezes it gently. After a while, Connor drifts off to sleep. He’s been in and out all day, and Reed figures he probably needs the rest. 

 

Every now and then, Gus’s phone beeps, and he picks it up and smiles. After the third time, Reed shoots him a knowing look. 

 

“Is that Steve?” 

 

Gus goes a little pink, but nods. “He is asking if Pampsuhka and I would like to come over tonight. It would be very nice, but I am needed here.”

 

Reed and Torpedo exchange a look. 

 

“If you want to go, we can hold down the fort here,” Torpedo offers. “I was planning on staying overnight. And you were probably up all night with Connor last night anyway, right? You deserve a break from all of this.”

 

Gus looks hesitant. Reed can tell from his expression that he’s tempted, but conflicted. “I do not want to leave Connor,” he says. “He is very sick. It would not be right.”

 

“You don’t have to look after him by yourself,” Reed says gently. “You’re not responsible for him. I said from the beginning that we’d all help.”

 

“I do not want him to feel like I have abandoned him,” Gus replies, his voice quiet. “I want him to know that even though things are hard, I do not leave. That even if… even if the worst has happened, that I am always here.”

 

“He knows,” Torpedo says simply. “Seriously. Connor knows. We all know.”

 

Gus looks at Reed, still frowning. “You are sure? You are sure it is okay if I go?”

 

Reed takes in Gus’s pale face and the dark circles under his eyes. He looks exhausted. 

 

Honestly, a break would do him good. 

 

“I’m sure. Go hang out with your man.”

 

Gus’s cheeks turn pink, but he nods, and gets off the couch to start getting his things ready. Torpedo looks at Reed after Gus leaves the room. 

 

“What’s this Steve guy like?” 

 

“Hot,” Reed replies. 

 

Torpedo rolls his eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”

 

“I don’t know him super well, but he seems great,” Reed says. “He seems to really care about Gus - he came to the hospital on Friday and brought food for everyone. He was really nice, wanted to make sure everyone was doing okay.” Reed pauses for a moment, then continues. “Also, he’s really hot. Like… damn. Steve is really, really hot.”

 

“Steve is very kind man,” says Gus as he comes back into the room, his voice firm. “Very kind, very funny, very smart.” His cheeks go a little pink as he continues. “But yes, you are right. He also is really hot.”

 

“What’s happening?” Connor slurs, kind of stirring on the couch next to Reed. 

 

“Gus is going to Steve’s for the night,” Reed says calmly. “Torpedo’s gonna stay here tonight, okay? I’ll be around for a while longer as well.”

 

“Okay,” says Connor, still kind of half asleep, starting to shiver violently. 

 

Pampushka crawls up onto the couch next to Connor, boops his face with her nose, and then jumps off the couch and heads over to Gus. 

 

Connor goes back to sleep. 

 

Gus looks at his twin for a long moment before turning back to Reed. “You will look after him, yes?”

 

“We will,” Torpedo promises. “Have a nice night.”

 

With that, Gus and Pampushka head out. Reed and Torpedo sit through a few more episodes of Adventure Time, then Torpedo decides he’s ordering pizza. 

 

“Will Connor eat?” 

 

Reed shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe? He’s been puking a lot. Like, a lot. So maybe he should eat something so he’s got something to puke? I don’t know.”

 

“I could get garlic bread,” Torpedo suggests. “It might be, I don’t know, more likely to settle?”

 

“Honestly, I don’t really think there’s much we can do except ride it out,” Reed admits. 

 

Torpedo looks like he’s considering something. “Okay, hear me out on this,” he says slowly, “but I do have weed.” 

 

Reed considers. 

 

“I actually hadn’t thought of that,” they admit, “but I remember reading somewhere that pot can help with some of the symptoms of withdrawal. That might actually be helpful, at least to make him feel a little bit better.”

 

“I’ll order some pizza,” Torpedo decides, “and when he wakes up next, we’ll give it a go.” He pauses. “On the balcony, though, because I don’t know if Gus would be super cool with us making his whole apartment stink of weed.”

 

“Probably not.”

 

An hour later, there are several pizzas and garlic bread and Connor’s woken up only to spend about twenty minutes in the bathroom. Torpedo eats three pieces of pizza and shoots worried glances in the direction of the hallway. 

 

“Is that normal?”

 

“Yeah. Withdrawal is a bitch.”

 

Connor arrives back in the lounge, pale and shivering and looking like death warmed up. Reed and Torpedo exchange a look, then Reed starts picking up the pizza boxes. “We’re going to the balcony,” they announce. 

 

Connor just stares. “Okay?”

 

“We’ve got weed.”

 

Connor blinks. “Uh. What?”

 

“It’ll help with the nausea,” Reed assures him, “and then you might be able to eat something, and you might be able to actually stay asleep for more than like half an hour at a time.”

 

Connor stares again, then shrugs slightly. 

 

Gus’s balcony is small and contains a table, a couple of chairs and a ridiculous number of garden gnomes, despite there being no garden. Reed recalls Gus discovering garden gnomes at some point and thinking they were the best thing ever. Clearly since then, he has amassed a collection. 

 

They settle Connor into a chair and wrap him up in a blanket. Reed puts the pizza boxes on the table. Torpedo grabs another chair from inside, along with his bag, and soon they’re passing around a joint and finishing up the pizza, watching the sun set. 

 

Reed watches Connor carefully as they eat and smoke, and notices with some satisfaction that Connor actually seems to be able to keep some food down. Definitely an improvement. He’s still pale but he’s shivering a bit less and he looks slightly more like a human being. 

 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Reed says, suddenly remembering. “Jack texted me this morning. He found your car.”

 

“Oh,” says Connor. “That’s, uh, that’s good.”

 

“Yeah, he’s got a friend who was going to get the train into Boston tomorrow, so he’s going to drive it in for you.”

 

Connor looks confused. “How’s he going to do that without the keys?”

 

“You left the keys in the ignition.”

 

“I did?”

 

“You also left the car unlocked.” Reed rolls their eyes. “You’re lucky no one stole it, dude.”

 

“Oh my god,” says Torpedo, passing Reed the joint. “Connor, seriously, what the fuck.”

 

“Seriously,” Reed says, looking at Connor sternly, “that was a serious dumb move on your part. The whole damn thing. You’re really fucking lucky it all worked out.”

 

Connor just looks exhausted. “Yeah, well, it’s not the dumbest thing I’ve done high.”

 

Torpedo raises his eyebrows. “Okay, I’ll take the bait. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done high?”

 

Connor stares at them for a moment, then his cheeks turn pink, and Reed’s pretty sure there’s about to be an embarrassing story but they’re just kind of glad to see he’s got some color. 

 

“In my defence, there was a ridiculous amount of cocaine involved, and I was seventeen and an idiot,” he begins. 

 

“What did you do.”

 

“I fucked Guy,” Connor mumbles. 

 

Torpedo’s eyebrows shoot up and his eyes widen comically. “I’m sorry, you did  _ what?”  _

 

Reed finds themself screwing up their nose. “Oh my god, that’s… what the hell.”

 

“You fucked that obnoxious French clone?” Torpedo says, sounding genuinely appalled. “He was the  _ worst.” _

 

“It was definitely a hatefuck,” Connor points out. “I don’t remember a lot of it, to be honest, but the next day I definitely regretted it. In a big, big way, oh my god.” He shudders. “Seventeen-year-old Connor was a mess.”

 

“Twenty-seven-year-old Connor’s not looking much better,” Torpedo says, not unkindly. “Dude. Seriously. You scared the shit out of us.”

 

“I know,” Connor mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around,” Reed says quietly. “The whole week I’ve been running around trying to sort things out with ERAS, I didn’t… I should have reached out. Made sure you were okay.”

 

“That goes for me, too,” Torpedo adds, looking deeply sad. “This... this whole thing is a nightmare. And with Evan missing… we should have looked after you better.”

 

Connor blinks. “This isn’t your fault,” he says firmly. “I made a dumb decision. I’m a fucking idiot.”

 

“You’re in pain,” Reed counters. “You’re in pain, and you made the wrong call, but you’re our brother and we love you and we’re here, okay? Whatever you need.”

 

The three of them sit outside and smoke until the stars come out. 

 

* * *

 

Charles gets the call about Dr. van Druten during dinner with Tina, Lili, Jared and Gaëlle. Gaëlle had started screaming about half an hour before Agent Fence called, so he’d known something was up. 

 

That doesn’t mean getting confirmation hadn’t been painful. 

 

Fence sounds tired, despite his usual neutral tone, and had assured Charles that he didn’t need to come down and talk to anyone but that he wanted him to know. “We’ll touch base tomorrow,” he says. “If that’s okay. There are a couple of pieces of this puzzle I need to put together and I’ve got some questions I wanted to ask. But it can wait.”

 

“As long as you’re sure,” Charles says. “I’m so sorry.”

 

“Part of the job,” Fence says wearily. “Anyway, I’ll speak with you tomorrow.”

 

Now Gaëlle’s calmed down, it’s getting close to her bedtime and she’s determined that “Uncle Charlie” is going to read her a story. 

 

“When you are visiting last, you promise Harry Potter,” she says firmly. “I bring it with me.” 

 

Charles looks at Tina, who grins. “You heard the lady,” she says with a smirk. 

 

“Alright then,” Charles says. “You go get your pajamas on and brush your teeth, and then come and get me, okay?” 

 

Gaëlle runs out of the room to get ready for bed, and Charles turns to Jared, who immediately frowns. “You want to talk to her about the clones, don’t you?”

 

“Yes,” Charles replies simply. “I think it might be easier if we speak alone. If that’s alright with you two.”

 

Lili and Jared exchange a look. “We trust you,” Lili says simply. “But remember, she is just a little girl. And I do not think she understands what is happening.”

 

“That makes two of us,” Charles confesses. 

 

Gaëlle comes back about five minutes later and practically drags Charles back into her room. She’s brought along one of her stuffed animals, an owl with big shiny eyes, that Charles remembers from their last visit as well. 

 

Once she’s crawled into bed, Charles sits on the edge next to her and she looks at him with big hazel eyes. 

 

“Before we read the book,” Charles begins, “can we talk about your uncles?”

 

Gaëlle looks at him solemnly. “It is always like this,” she says. “Always, I feel them. Even when I’m very small. I feel all of them, always, but not always loud. If I have focus I can feel them more, but they are always there, just very quiet.” She frowns. “Unless they are very very sad, or very very happy, or very very angry. If the feeling is very big, then I feel them more.”

 

“You can feel me, too?”

 

Gaëlle nods. “I know that you have fear, Uncle Charlie. I am sorry.”

 

Charles tries to keep the fear that’s rising up inside him under control. He doesn’t want to scare her. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry that things are so scary right now. I’m sorry that you have to feel so many bad things. I think you’re very brave, Gaëlle.”

 

Gaëlle smiles for a moment, then her face grows solemn again. “Maman and Jared say it must be a secret,” she says, “so I do not talk of it with anyone else. But I know I can trust you, because Maman and Jared trust you also.”

 

“I’m doing everything I can to find out what’s happening,” Charles promises. “So that when we know, we can stop being scared.”

 

Gaëlle’s eyes widen for a moment. She opens her mouth, then closes it, and looks hesitant. 

 

Charles looks at her carefully. “What is it, sweetheart?”

 

“There is an uncle who is very happy right now,” she confesses, her voice barely above a whisper. “I do not feel him often, because he is only… half. Part of him is not an uncle, it is something else. I don’t know. He is very scary. I don’t like it when I feel him.”

 

“Can you tell me anything else about this uncle?” Charles asks. 

 

“He thinks he is the most important,” Gaëlle says, frowning. “But he is broken. He is very very happy now, but he is mean. It’s a mean happy. It is hard to explain.”

 

In the back of his mind, Charles is starting to piece together a theory. The logical part of his brain wants to dismiss it straight away, because what Gaëlle's saying is strange and he still isn’t sure he can quite believe it. But his gut says that what she’s saying is true. 

 

And if what she’s saying is true, then it’s possible that the person responsible for whatever is happening right now is one of them. 

 

Is another clone. 


	30. TWENTY-NINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A return.

It is dark and cold and wet. 

 

His stomach is hollow and empty. 

 

A parking garage. 

 

A sniper rifle. 

 

A man with his face dies with a bullet between his eyes. 

 

The second man with his face runs, but August is quick. 

 

August tackles the man with his face and puts a knife to his chest. 

 

The knife goes through. 

 

Connor looks at him with recognition in his eyes. 

 

“People don’t change.”

 

Connor dies in an alleyway with a needle in his arm. 

 

Connor dies on a park bench with a bottle of pills in his hand. 

 

August is trapped. 

 

He is trapped in a cage and he cannot escape. 

 

He feels the burn of holy water. 

 

He can smell it all over him. 

 

There is holy water and the words of the bible and Tatiana gives him a knife so he can pay penance for all that he has done. 

 

He carves his wings and knows he is worthless. 

 

He is far from the light. 

 

He is so far from the light. 

 

He is…

 

“Gus. Gus, hey. Wake up, it’s okay, you’re having a nightmare, it’s not real. It’s not real.”

 

Gus takes in a gasping breath and comes back to reality. 

 

It takes him a moment to realize where he is. Pampushka is next to him, rubbing her face against his arm, and he looks over to see Steve, an expression of fear on his face, and Gus’s heart sinks. 

 

“I am sorry,” he manages to say. “I will… give me a moment, and I will go.”

 

“Don’t go,” Steve says immediately, looking terribly sad. “Please. Don’t go.”

 

Gus does not realize he is crying until Steve pulls him closer and it is like the gate is open, and he cries for a very long time. Steve has his arms around him and holds him tight and Gus does not deserve this kindness. 

 

“I am sorry,” Gus says when the tears stop. “I am sorry to wake you.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Gus shakes his head. “I cannot. I am sorry.”

 

“That’s okay,” Steve says, his voice very even. Gus can tell that he is full of worry, and he does not like this. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

 

“I am sorry to wake you,” Gus says again. “I did not want this.”

 

“Are the nightmares a common thing?” Steve asks. 

 

“Before, yes,” Gus admits. “But it has been some time. I was… unprepared. I think it is because there is much stress.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” says Steve quietly. “I’m so, so sorry.” He sighs. “I used to get nightmares a lot, especially after Penny’s mom died when she was born. It was tough.”

 

“I am sorry you know this, also.” Gus takes a deep breath. “It is hard for me to talk of, but… in my past, there are many horrors. One day, I will explain, but for now I will just say that there were horrors. Sometimes, my mind takes me back there. It is hard. But I work hard to be better. To give the horrors less power. Pampushka is very good at helping me when I am going back to the past. It is… this is why Pampushka is with me always.”

 

“I thought that might be the case,” says Steve, his voice soft and full of sympathy. “She’s a good dog. I’m glad you have her.”

 

Gus wishes, very much, that he could tell Steve everything. 

 

They are not knowing each other for much time, but already he feels like he can trust him. Like Steve is important, in a way that he has never felt before. 

 

With Handsome Fruit Man, it takes Gus much time to talk to him. So much time that they miss their chance. 

 

With Joe, it takes much time for them to figure things out. They are talking for a long time before they are going on dates, and after this it is also a long time before they become boyfriends. 

 

But Steve is different. 

 

Steve feels different, and Gus does not recognize it, and the way he feels is somewhat scary but in a good way. 

 

He also knows that at the moment, his life is uncertain. There are many things that he cannot control. 

 

That maybe things with Steve are going too fast. Maybe because he is in a stressful time, he is clinging to Steve and it is not right. 

 

But it does not feel not right. 

 

It feels very right. 

 

Gus can imagine a long life with Steve. He can imagine making a family with Steve, Penny and Pampushka, and being very happy together. 

 

But it does not seem fair. 

 

It does not seem fair that he has Steve when Connor does not have Evan. 

 

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Steve offers, and it distracts Gus from his thoughts. “I can make tea.”

 

Tea is good. It is comforting, and it reminds Gus of his dad. 

 

He feels guilty that he has not yet told Dad about Connor. 

 

Dad has enough to worry about with Heidi. He does not need more worry. 

 

“Tea would be good,” Gus says, and Steve turns on the light and heads out of the room into the kitchen. 

 

Pampushka curls up next to Gus and rubs her face against his, and he pets her fur and focuses on how soft she is. 

 

It will be okay. 

 

Gus must be strong for his family. 

 

He will be okay. 

 

* * *

Drew gets to the office he and Brewer are using early.

 

Like, ridiculously early. 

 

He hadn’t been able to sleep, so instead, he’d decided to do something useful. 

 

Something like go over everything they know about the ERAS explosion, DYAD and Neolution. 

 

Nothing’s making any sense. 

 

Any damn sense at all. 

 

He starts from the beginning and tries to figure out what they know so far. 

 

The explosion at ERAS was an inside job. 

 

Whoever set off the explosion was given access by the twelve ex-DYAD scientists who Neolution convinced to work with them. 

 

All twelve of those scientists are now dead. 

 

According to Dr. van Druten, Neolution told them they would take ERAS down and reinstate DYAD on a global scale, but only Boston was attacked. 

 

According to Dr. van Druten, Neolution was particularly interested in six clones: Charles Booth, Lucas Freeman, Marvin Adams (apparently known as Torpedo, which is an interesting choice), Reed Albrecht, Gus Sadler, and Connor Murphy.

 

The six clones are close and consider each other family. 

 

Out of those six clones, two work for ERAS and one is engaged to the interim director Evan Hansen.

 

Evan Hansen is the only person unaccounted for after the ERAS explosion. 

 

The FBI received an anonymous tip: DYAD wants Evan Hansen. And all signs point to DYAD now having Evan Hansen. 

 

The question, of course, is why they’d want him. 

 

Also dead: Bob Buskirk and his granddaughter Violet Buskirk, aka Magnet. They were found dead after Charles questioned them about Neolution. 

 

Neolution performed experiments on people without their consent. Magnet alleges that one of their experiments allowed them to force a woman to kill herself. 

 

This is where Drew starts feeling like he’s living in a science-fiction novel. What Charles recounted from Magnet’s story about what she saw at Neolution sounded like they’d hacked into this woman’s brain or something. 

 

Like some kind of creepy robot mind control. 

 

Which is just fucking insane. 

 

“You’re here early.”

 

Drew looks up to see Brewer standing above him. He hadn’t even seen her come in. Her eyes widen at the sight of him, and she puts a coffee cup in front of him. 

 

“I haven’t had any yet and something tells me you need this more than I do.”

 

“Thank you,” he says, and is surprised by how croaky his voice sounds. 

 

He’s exhausted. 

 

“Are you okay?” she asks, sitting across from him. 

 

“I’m fine,” he assures her. 

 

She frowns. “No, seriously, are you okay?”

 

“How many times do I need to tell you that I’m fine?”

 

“Until I believe you,” she replies. Drew rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his coffee.

 

“I’m trying to make this whole thing make sense,” he says. “The thing that’s weirding me out is what Charles said that Magnet said about Neolution and the experiment she accidentally saw.”

 

Brewer frowns, and picks up the file with Charles’ carefully written testimony about what Magnet told him. “I don’t like that it’s not a first-person account,” she admits, “and while I do think Charles is trustworthy, it does sound insane.” She bites her lip. “But even though it sounds insane, it could explain some things.”

 

“Really? Like what?”

 

“Like the fact that Ross Black is a high school gym teacher and tried to kill Hannah Weiss,” says Brewer. “They said that he said he didn’t want to do it. What if Neolution did perfect some kind of mind-control technology?”

 

“It’d be a convenient excuse,” says Drew, a little skeptically. 

 

“Yeah, if he were trying to plead not guilty by reason of insanity,” Brewer admits. “But he’s not around to plead anything. He’s dead, and the coroner’s still don’t know why.” She bites her lip again. “Do we ask them to look for creepy mind-control technology in his brain?”

 

“Surely if it existed, they’d have found it in the autopsy.”

 

“Unless it’s super sophisticated,” Brewer points out. “Like, nanotechnology.”

 

Drew can’t help but rolls his eyes. “Sure.”

 

“Then there’s Cameron Rossini,” Brewer continues. “Bartender from last night. Kills Dr. van Druten, then himself. Also no known connection to DYAD, or history of violence or instability. Maybe there’s a creepy mind-control thing going on there.”

 

“This can’t be our only theory,” Drew insists. “Neolution are mind-controlling people to do their dirty work. We’d need to prove that somehow.”

 

Brewer grins. It’s kind of feral. “Good thing we’re working with hot-shot scientists, then, isn’t it?”

 

Drew sighs. “I guess it’s worth discussing the possibility. It just seems completely unreal.”

 

“You’re a clone.”

 

“Yeah, well…”

 

Drew rubs his eyes. He’s exhausted, down to his bones, and every time he closes his eyes, he just sees death. 

 

He looks at Brewer to see her looking at him intently, her expression full of worry.

 

“I’m fine,” he says, before she can ask. 

 

“Drew,” she says quietly. 

 

Marigold Brewer has never called him Drew before. 

 

This is a first. 

 

“I’m a little spooked,” he admits. “I’ve seen some brutal stuff over the past few days. It’s… it’s hard. But I don’t want to stop working on this. Not even a little bit.”

 

“If it’s affecting you like this-”

 

“They’re my family,” Drew interrupts, and Brewer’s silent at that. He sighs. “I mean, I know they’re not really, but… there’s a connection. I can’t explain it, but it’s there. I know it’s weird. It’s just DNA. But I still feel something.”

 

Brewer reaches out her hand across the table. 

 

Drew takes it and she squeezes it. 

 

It’s oddly reassuring and shockingly intimate. 

 

“We’re going to get to the bottom of this,” she says. “For you and your brothers.”

 

* * *

Lucas and Donna arrive at Gus’s apartment around midday on Friday. Lucas isn’t sure what to expect, really. All he knows is that Connor’s detoxing after taking a whole lot of drugs and is really sick and needs looking after and that they’re all pitching in.

 

He figures it’s the least he can do, considering what everyone’s going through. 

 

Donna’s brought along a bunch of movies and some herbal tea she insists is great for nausea. She’s quiet for most of the drive. 

 

Lucas can tell that she’s worried. She’s always been closest to Connor out of all of Lucas’s clones, for reasons he’s never really going to understand. 

 

They get to Gus’s to find Torpedo and Connor on the sofa. Torpedo’s doing something on his laptop and Connor’s watching TV.

 

Connor looks like shit. 

 

“Hey,” says Torpedo when they arrive. “Perfect timing - Jared wants me to meet up with him to go over something that’s apparently too weird to explain over text.”

 

Connor makes a disgusted face. “I can’t believe you’re working with Jared fucking Kleinman.”

 

Torpedo kind of sighs. “You haven’t seen the guy in ten years. Maybe he’s changed.”

 

Connor snorts. “Doubt it.”

 

“Have you eaten?” Donna says to Connor. “You should eat. I’ll make soup.”

 

“Where’s Gus?” Lucas asks Torpedo. 

 

“He’s at Steve’s,” Torpedo says, standing up and starting to pack up his laptop. “He’s getting some rest - he hasn’t been sleeping very well. Steve called to check to make sure we’d all be okay, which is why I called you guys.” 

 

A look of shame crosses Connor’s face and he looks away. 

 

“It’ll be fine,” Lucas says, and he’s not sure who to convince. He turns to Connor. “What are you watching?” Connor shrugs. “What I’m getting from that is I get to pick. Awesome.”

 

Lucas flops down on the couch next to Connor in the seat Torpedo just vacated and grabs the remote. Connor kind of rolls his eyes, but settles into the couch and lets Lucas scroll through Gus’s Netflix account to find an action movie that doesn’t look half bad. 

 

The afternoon passes, Connor frequently getting up to go to the bathroom. Lucas can hear him puking out his guts and Donna looks at him, her expression worried. 

 

“He’ll be okay,” Lucas assures her. “He’s just… he’s gotta get through this for the next little while. Reed told me all about what to expect.” He frowns. “It’s not pretty.”

 

At about four, Connor seems to get a bit more color. Donna looks at him sympathetically. “Did you want to grab a shower?” she says. “It might make you feel a bit better.”

 

Connor winces, then nods. “Yeah, I’ve been in the same clothes for a few days now.” He frowns. “I don’t really have anything with me, though.”

 

“We could take you to your apartment and get some of your stuff?” Donna offers. “Are you feeling up to it?”

 

Connor considers, then nods. “Yeah. If I don’t have to drive, then yeah.”

 

Lucas frowns. “I don’t want you throwing up in my car.”

 

“I won’t throw up in your car.”

 

“Like you can really guarantee that right now.”

 

“I know where Gus keeps the spare plastic bags,” Donna says firmly. “If he’s going to puke in the car, he can do it into a plastic bag.”

 

Lucas isn’t thrilled, but he gets wanting to wear your own clothes, and he figures that Connor doesn’t look too bad and it’s not a long drive. 

 

It doesn’t take them long to get Connor into the car. He’s not wearing any shoes, but Lucas isn’t about to point that out given the state of him, and he’s shaking on his feet but he manages to get into the back seat. Donna sits next to him, keeping an eye on him and holding on to the plastic bag, and Lucas drives. 

 

When they get to Connor and Evan’s apartment, it takes a bit of effort for Connor to get up the stairs and once they’re in the apartment, Lucas guides him to the couch to sit down for a moment. 

 

Connor takes in a shuddering breath. “This sucks.”

 

Lucas can’t help but agree. 

 

They’ve been sitting there for about five minutes when they hear the sound of a key in the lock. Lucas looks at Connor, who frowns. Lucas is about to ask who has a spare key when the door opens. 

 

Donna lets out an audible gasp of alarm and Lucas can only stare as Evan Hansen walks through the door.

 

“Hi!” Evan says with a smile. “I didn’t realize you guys were visiting. How’s it going?”

 

The room is deadly silent. 

 

Evan’s smile fades into a concerned frown. Before he can get another word out, Connor’s off the couch and pulling him into a hug, bursting into loud, choking sobs. 

 

“What’s going on?” Evan asks, wrapping his arms around Connor and looking over his shoulder at Lucas with an expression of alarm. 

 

Lucas has no idea where to start. 


	31. THIRTY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reunion.

Connor holds onto Evan as tight as he can, breathing in his familiar smell, and tries to ignore the voice in the back of his head screaming that this is too good to be true.

 

It’s surprisingly easy to ignore.

 

“You scared the shit out of me,” he mumbles into Evan’s shoulder, and Evan’s grip on him gets tighter, and then he’s crying again.

 

In the background, he can hear Lucas making a phone call, but that’s not important now.

 

What’s important is that Evan’s here.

 

He’s been missing for a week and they’d all assumed the worst but now he’s here, and he’s in one piece, and doesn’t seem to realize there’s anything unusual about him being here, and…

 

“What happened?” Connor asks urgently. “What happened, where _were_ you?”

 

They pull apart, just slightly, and Evan looks deeply concerned. “At work? Connor, what’s going on?”

 

“Do you remember the explosion?” Donna asks, and Connor had almost forgotten she was here. “At ERAS?”

 

Evan’s eyes widen. “There was an explosion at ERAS?”

 

“A week ago,” Donna confirms. “ERAS exploded, and you went missing. The last person to see you was Hannah - she had a broken leg and you carried her to the lobby, then someone knocked you out and you’ve been missing ever since.”

 

Evan’s eyes widen even further. “That’s… I don’t remember any of that. What… what the fuck.”

 

“You’re back,” Connor says urgently. “You’re back, and you’re alive and you’re okay and you’re here and that’s what matters.”

 

“Your mom is on her way,” Lucas announced. “She’s been worried sick.”

 

Evan looks absolutely horrified. “Oh my god.” He looks at Connor, really looks, and Connor starts to feel his skin crawl with shame.

 

Because of course Evan would see.

 

Of course he’d realize.

 

“You don’t look so good,” Evan says, frowning. “Are you… you look sick, are you sick?”

 

“He relapsed,” Donna says gently. “And he’s detoxing. We’ve been looking after him. He’s been at Gus’s, we were just here to get some of his stuff so he could have a shower.”

 

Evan looks at him intently. “You relapsed? Connor…”

 

“I’m okay,” Connor lies. “I’m fine. It’s going to be fine. You’re back, and you’re okay.”

 

“I’m so sorry.”

 

“I’m _fine.”_

 

“I’m calling Beanpole,” Lucas announces. “Everyone at ERAS has been trying to figure out what happened to you. They need to know you’re back, Evan. They’ll know what to do next.”

 

“Okay,” Evan replies, looking completely overwhelmed. He looks around the room for a while, then frowns at looks back at Connor. “Hannah broke her leg? Is she okay?”

 

“She was unconscious for a couple of days,” Donna explains. “Broken ribs, broken leg, brain injury.”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

Connor looks Evan over with a critical eye. He’s lost a bit of weight. Connor can see bruises peeking out under the edge of his shirt,. But they’re fading. He’s in the same clothes he was last Friday, but they look like they’ve been freshly washed.

 

None of this makes any fucking sense.

 

He’s starting to feel shaky and sick and sweaty and gross and all the awful symptoms of detoxing are coming back and he can’t handle this, he can’t handle this right now, he has to make it stop, he can’t do this right now.

 

He can’t do any of this right now.

 

“I’m, uh, gonna go have that shower,” Connor says, trying to sound like he’s not on the verge of puking his guts out.

 

“Okay,” says Evan, looking more than a little overwhelmed. He takes a seat on the couch and Donna sits next to him. Connor watches them for a moment, then heads to get some clothes.

 

And his stash of pills.

 

Connor goes into the ensuite bathroom attached to the master bedroom he and Evan share and looks in the mirror.

 

“This is just temporary,” he promises his reflection.

 

There’s too much happening. Evan’s back, and doesn’t remember being taken, and everything’s a mess, and he doesn’t have time to be detoxing right now.

 

He’s just going to take enough to deal with the withdrawal. Enough to even things out.

 

This is just temporary.

 

He locks the bathroom door and starts crushing up the pills.

 

* * *

The ride to Connor and Evan’s apartment is short and tense. Reed, Beanpole and Torpedo all pile into Chiv’s van and don’t really say much of anything to each other.

 

Reed suspects they’re all thinking the same thing.

 

That this all doesn’t make any sense.

 

When they arrive at the apartment, Heidi and Seamus are already there, along with Lucas and Donna. Connor’s nowhere to be seen, but Evan’s there on the couch, sitting next to his mom, who’s clasping his hand in hers and looking more relieved than Reed thought it was possible for a human being to look.

 

They all look up when the four of them enter, Reed letting themself in with their spare key (Evan had given him one in case of emergencies, or in case he forgot his keys, which happened more often than either of them would care to admit). Evan’s pale and seems a bit smaller, but he appears mostly unharmed.

 

And he definitely seems to still be Evan.

 

But Reed’s still wary.

 

When they’d gotten the call from Lucas about Evan just showing up at the apartment like nothing had happened, the four of them were in the middle of a discussion about Brewer and Fence’s ridiculous mind-control theory.

 

“Fence seemed almost embarrassed to bring it up,” Beanpole had said, frowning a little, “but Brewer seems to think it’s worth looking into. And for that, they might need our help.”

 

“Mind control, though?” Torpedo had asked, looking more than a little skeptical.

 

“It’s what Magnet was alluding to when she told me about Neolution,” Beanpole said, throwing his hands up in frustration. “It sounds like science fiction, I’m aware, but whatever it was that she saw was enough to scare her away from Neolution for good. And even though it sounds crazy, it makes sense.”

 

“How would they even do that, though?” Reed had asked, trying to figure it out.

 

“Magnet described it as them putting something inside the woman’s brain,” Beanpole said, looking almost ill as he did. “But the coroners haven’t found anything in the man who tried to kill Hannah and the man who killed Dr. van Druten.”

 

“Well, they don’t exactly know what they’re looking for,” Chiv had pointed out.

 

Reed doesn’t want to think about it, but they can’t afford to not at least consider the possibility.

 

If Neolution has some kind of creepy mind-control technology, there’s no telling what they’ve done to Evan if they’ve had him a whole week.

 

Evan stands up when he sees Beanpole. “Hey,” he says, his voice a little rough. “Sorry I missed a whole week of work. In my defense, last thing I remember was being at work, so…”

 

“What exactly do you remember?” Reed asks, trying not to sound as panicked as they feel.

 

“I was getting ready for a meeting with Hannah,” says Evan. He frowns. “Then I came home. But… I can’t remember the meeting, or the meeting I had after that. It’s just… kind of fuzzy.” He frowns even more. “I have a bit of a headache. Maybe I have some kind of concussion?”

 

“It’s a possibility,” says Beanpole, who’s obviously struggling to keep the concern out of his voice. “Before we get into more questions, I do have to say that it’s very, very good to see you.”

 

“You too,” says Evan, somewhat awkwardly. “I’m sorry you had to come all the way from the UK for this.”

 

“That’s not important,” Beanpole says dismissively. “What’s important is making sure that you’re okay. That Neolution didn’t do anything to.”

 

“Hold on,” says Evan, clearly confused, “what’s Neolution?”

 

“They started off as part of DYAD, but they split off into their own thing,” Reed summarizes. “We’re pretty sure they’re the ones who took you.”

 

“What do you think they did to him?” Heidi asks, and she’s still clasping Evan’s hand tightly and her eyes are red and she’s wearing slippers and Reed’s hit with a wave of sympathy for this poor woman who’s clearly still terrified for her son. “Is he going to be okay?”

 

“I feel fine,” Evan assures her. “I mean, aside from the headache. And I seem to have a few bruises, but that makes sense if I was in a building when it exploded.” Heidi bursts into tears at that and Evan sits back down and pulls her into a hug. “Mom. Mom, I’m okay. I’m here. It’s okay. I’m so sorry I scared you.”

 

“Where’s Connor?” Torpedo asks, looking around.

 

“He’s having a shower,” Lucas says. “He’s still feeling pretty rough. Hopefully, it’ll make him feel a bit better.”

 

“Could do,” Reed admits. “He’s had a rough couple of days.”

 

“Has he been sick?” Seamus asks, looking straight at Reed, and Reed’s suddenly struck with the realization that Seamus doesn’t know what’s been going on with Connor.

 

Which means Gus hasn’t told him.

 

“Yeah, he’s had stomach flu,” says Torpedo, his voice deliberately casual. Lucas catches Reed’s eye and frowns a little, but no one corrects Torpedo.

 

Lying to Seamus about this is probably a bad idea.

 

But at this point in time, it could be for the best.

 

“Can we get Evan checked out by someone?” Heidi asks, her voice a little desperate. “Just to make sure he’s okay?”

 

“That’s definitely part of the plan,” Beanpole says decisively. “I’ll make some calls and see if we can get access to an MRI.”

 

“Because I don’t remember,” Evan concludes, nodding. “That makes sense.”

 

“We can’t just take him to the hospital?” Heidi asks.

 

Beanpole and Reed exchange a look. “I don’t think it’s a great idea,” Reed confesses. “There’s… if Neolution has done something to Evan, I don’t know if it’s a great idea to take him somewhere public.”

 

“When you say ‘done something’, what are you actually talking about?” Evan asks, his voice growing slightly more panicked. “What do you think they’ve done to me?”

 

There’s a moment of quiet. Torpedo’s the one to break it.

 

“Okay, so Agent Fence has this crazy theory about mind control.”

 

The room is quiet for a moment.

 

“Are you serious?” Seamus asks incredulously. “Mind control?”

 

“A source told us Neolution had managed to create some kind of technology that worked like mind control back in 2019,” Beanpole says, his voice careful. “So it’s not outside the realm of possibility.”

 

“Especially with eight years to work on it,” Chiv adds, frowning deeply.

 

Evan looks incredibly freaked out. “Okay, so if there’s a possibility I’m being mind controlled I’d really like to know about it,” he says firmly. “How do we tell? How do we find out if they did that?”

 

“I don’t know,” Beanpole admits. “We have leads, sort of, but at the moment they haven’t found anything.”

 

“What do you mean you have leads?” Seamus presses.

 

“The man who tried to kill Hannah and the man who killed Dr. van Druten,” Reed says wearily. “Both of them didn’t have any DYAD connections or any history of violence of instability. Fence and Brewer have a theory about mind control, but the coroners haven’t found anything yet in their autopsies.”

 

“Wait, someone tried to kill Hannah?” Evan says, eyes wide. “Is she okay? What happened?”

 

“Zoe happened,” Connor says from the hallway. He’s drying his hair with a towel as he walks into the living room, dressed in clean clothes and looking… surprisingly good. A lot better than he has for the past few days, that’s for sure. “She kicked his ass. And then he had some kind of seizure and died.”

 

Connor takes a seat on the couch and Evan sits down next to him, with Heidi on his other side. Both Connor and Heidi keep looking at Evan like they’re not sure he’s real. Like he could disappear at any moment.

 

“Apparently he kept saying he didn’t want to do it,” Reed says quietly. “With that and the seizure… as crazy as it sounds, it lines up with a mind control device.”

 

“I still can’t believe we’re sitting here talking about mind control,” Chiv mutters. “Our lives are so weird.”

 

“How soon can you get access to an MRI?” Evan asks, his voice urgent. “If Neolution have done something to me, I need to know. What if they make me do something? What if I hurt someone?”

 

Connor’s eyes widen with alarm and fear. “Whoa, whoa, hold up - someone explain what I missed, please?”

 

Torpedo launches into an explanation of Brewer and Fence’s mind control theory and Connor’s face runs a gauntlet of emotions from skepticism to confusion to out-and-out panic.

 

“Surely you’ve got someone in your geek factory who specializes in brain stuff,” Connor says finally. “Wasn’t there a neuroscience department?”

 

“Dr. Michaels,” Evan says immediately. “He’s the head of the neuroscience department.”

 

Beanpole looks very sad. “He died in the explosion,” he says quietly.

 

Chiv grabs Reed’s arm. “The explosions started in the neuroscience department,” he says urgently. “At first I thought it was just the best way to take the whole place down because of where it’s situated, but what if it was deliberately there to take out anyone who specializes in neuroscience?”

 

“Wait, no one from the neuroscience department made it out?” Evan asks, and he’s turning paler and paler by the second.

 

“A few interns survived,” says Chiv, frowning deeply, “but the majority of the department is just… gone.”

 

“My meeting with Hannah was about her starting work with the neuroscience department,” Evan says slowly. “Could that be why Neolution targeted her?”

 

“Probably,” Reed admits. They rub their forehead absently. “Fuck. This is just… fuck.”

 

Evan’s expression turns into one of resolve. “Seamus, can you stay here tonight?” he asks. “If we can’t get an MRI until tomorrow, I want to make sure there’s someone around to keep Connor safe.” He pales. “If Neolution tries anything…”

 

“You want to keep me safe from… you?” Connor asks, eyes widening. “Evan, I _know_ you wouldn’t hurt me, no matter what some freaky scientists did to you.”

 

“I don’t know that,” Evan confesses in a rush, and his breathing is starting to speed up and Reed can tell his friend is starting to panic. “I don’t know what they could make me do, I don’t know… I’m missing a whole week and this is…”

 

He doesn’t seem able to finish his thought and Connor pulls him into a tight hug. Heidi’s face is ashen and she looks at Seamus, who nods subtly.

 

“Heidi and I will stay over tonight,” Seamus says decisively. “Just to keep an eye on things. If anything… if anything weird happens, or you’re acting out of the ordinary, I’ll take care of it.”

 

Chiv frowns. “By take care of it, you mean…”

 

“I’ll knock him out,” Seamus says quietly. “I won’t hurt him. I’d never do anything to hurt him.”

 

“Thank you,” says Evan, his tone grateful. “I just… thank you.”

 

There’s another silence for a moment, then Heidi clears her throat, sniffs and offers the room a watery smile. “Well, I think it’s worth celebrating Evan being home, don’t you? How about we get some Chinese food?”

 

Everyone nods in agreement, because it doesn’t really seem like the worst idea. From then on, the room’s a flurry of activity. Heidi and Seamus discuss with Lucas and Donna about what they’re going to order, with the plan to go pick up food and also grab what they need to stay the night at Evan and Connor’s apartment. Beanpole’s calling his contact at Harvard’s science department about possibly using their MRI on Saturday morning.

 

Evan and Connor just sit on the couch. Evan looks exhausted, and Connor doesn’t look much better, but at least they’re together.

 

That’s something.

 

Reed, Torpedo and Chiv find themselves in the corner, talking quietly.

 

“You want to tell me why we lied to Seamus about Connor’s withdrawal?” Chiv asks Torpedo, his tone pointed.

 

“Gus didn’t tell him,” Torpedo says simply. “He must have had a reason. It’s not our place to say anything.” He shrugs. “Besides, Evan’s back. And look how much better Connor looks. He’s going to be fine.”

 

Chiv frowns. “I’ve seen people detoxing before,” he says. “It takes days. Connor’s still going to be really sick. Or at least, he should be.” He looks at Connor a little suspiciously.

 

“Maybe the regeneration ability has kicked in,” Reed says hopefully. “We don’t really know how it works. It’s possible.”

 

“I guess so,” Chiv admits.

 

“I think we need to call this a win,” Torpedo says firmly. “Evan’s back, and we have a plan, and even if we don’t have all the answers… he’s here, and he’s safe, and we’re going to get to the bottom of this. It’s going to be okay.”

 

Reed nods, and hopes Torpedo's right.   



	32. THIRTY-ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing makes sense.

When Gus returns to his apartment late on Friday afternoon, no one is there.

 

Lucas and Donna are supposed to be here looking after Connor, and no one is here.

 

His heart starts to race, but before he can allow himself to panic, he decides to check his phone, and sees there is a message from Donna, saying that they have all gone to Connor’s apartment to get some clothes for Connor.

 

Gus is not sure that moving Connor is the best idea, seeing how sick he is, but maybe he is feeling better today.

 

He feels somewhat guilty that he has not been home in some time.

 

On Friday morning, Penny is waking them up and Gus is still feeling very shaky and tired, because he does not sleep well after his nightmare. Steve notices, and tells her that Gus is still feeling very tired, so that they will let him sleep some more.

 

When he wakes up, it is afternoon. He gets up, goes to the bathroom and then goes into the living room to find Steve is working at the table in the kitchen, and Pampushka is next to him, curled up by his feet. Gus smiles at this.

 

“You’re up,” says Steve, sounding almost relieved. “Are you doing okay? I called Reed and let them know you wouldn’t be back for a while.”

 

Gus is grateful for this. “Thank you. Did they say if Connor is okay?”

 

“They said he’s doing a bit better, and that Lucas and Donna are coming from Connecticut to help look after him,” Steve assures him. “They say to stay here as long as you need.”

 

Gus sits next to Steve at the table. Steve shuts his laptop and takes Gus’s hand. “Thank you,” says Gus again. “You are too kind to me.”

 

“I think I’m just kind enough. You’re having a rough time, you deserve someone looking out for you.” Steve looks at him. “You seem to spend a lot of your time looking out for everyone else.”

 

“It seems like this,” Gus tries to explain, “but it is not always so. There are many times when Connor is looking out for me. Is taking care of me. I do not want you to think that it is not fair.”

 

“It’s family,” Steve says simply. “We do what we need to for family.”

 

“Yes,” Gus agrees. “My family is… unusual, however. Many of the same face.”

 

“Must get confusing,” Steve jokes.

 

Gus laughs. “One time, we are having a vacation, and it is early in the morning, and Evan gives me a hug because he is thinking I am Connor,” he says, remembering the first clone vacation. “We only just meet that weekend, and Evan is very embarrassed.”

 

“How long have Connor and Evan been together?” Steve asks.

 

“Six years.” Gus hesitates. “For Connor and Evan, is very complicated. They are knowing each other in high school, but for three years, Evan is thinking that Connor is dead. So is Zoe, and also his parents. Connor lives as another clone for much time. It is confusing, I know.”

 

Steve seems to be considering. “It makes sense, in a way,” he says. “I mean, if you’re going to take over someone else’s life, it’s easier if you have the same face.”

 

“It is not what he wants to do,” Gus feels like he must explain. “Connor has no choice. He is young, it is not his decision. Very strange. Very complicated. Is hard to explain.” He frowns. “I feel like because you are not knowing Connor, and only hear now that he is struggling, you are getting… bad impression of him. But this is not true. He is a good man.”

 

“I’m sure he is,” Steve says, and he sounds like he believes Gus, and Gus likes this very much. “I’m sorry he’s going through all of this. I’m sorry you’re all going through this.”

 

“I am sorry, too.”

 

They have some food, and they talk for some time, and they pick up Penny from school and go to the park. Pampushka and Penny play for a long time as Gus and Steve drink coffee and watch, and it is very nice.

 

Gus thinks he would like for life to be like this always.

 

“Do you want to stay over again tonight?” Steve asks, and he seems a little shy. “Reed seemed to think they had everything under control with Connor.”

 

Gus shakes his head. “I would like to, but I think I must go back,” he says firmly. “It is good to have some space, but he is my brother and I must take care of him.”

 

Steve nods. “Okay.” He takes Gus’s hand. “Anytime you need a break, just come over. Or call, and I’ll come over and help. Penny can stay with my parents if you need me. If you need anything.”

 

Gus squeezes Steve’s hand. “Thank you.”

 

Steve’s words stay with him as he returns to his apartment. It is strange, to feel so connected to someone who is not part of the clone club. Gus knows that he has not known Steve for much time, but he already feels like he is very familiar, and it is strange but the most wonderful type of strange.

 

Gus takes some time to clean up while the apartment is empty. It is not very messy, but he likes to have something to do. He puts on some laundry and cleans the bathroom (which is not very nice) and does a small amount of vacuuming.

 

After an hour, he is starting to wonder what is taking everyone so long, and his phone rings.

 

It is Torpedo.

 

“Is everything alright?” Gus asks, frowning.

 

“Evan’s back.”

 

Gus blinks. He is sure he did not hear this properly. “What did you say?”

 

“Evan literally walked into his and Connor’s apartment like nothing had happened,” says Torpedo, sounding quite freaked out. “He doesn’t remember the explosion, or anything that’s happened in the last week. The last thing he remembers is coming home from work.”

 

Gus has no idea what to say to that. “He is okay, though?”

 

“I mean, yeah, it seems like it. Connor’s really happy to see him. He seems to be doing a lot better.”

 

“This is a good thing, then,” Gus determines, although he is still feeling very uneasy.

 

It does not make sense, Evan to return so suddenly, like nothing is wrong.

 

He knows that DYAD has many horrors, and is worried there is something wrong.

 

“Maybe,” Torpedo says, and he also sounds uneasy. “We don’t know what DYAD did to him.”

 

“What is to be done to find out?” Gus asks, frowning. “What is the plan?”

 

“They’re going to check Evan out in an MRI tomorrow,” Torpedo explains. “To check his brain, and see if everything’s okay. For tonight, Heidi and Seamus are staying at Connor and Evan’s in the spare room. Connor doesn’t want to leave Evan.”

 

“Understand,” Gus says, nodding. He thinks of something. “I… I did not tell Dad of Connor’s detox. I thought he had enough worries.”

 

“Yeah, we kind of figured that when he didn’t know why Connor was sick,” Torpedo says, and there is hesitance in his voice. “So we just told him he had the flu.”

 

Gus frowns. “I do not like to lie to Dad.”

 

“You already did, dude.”

 

“Not telling is different to lying.”

 

“Not really.” Gus thinks that if he could see Torpedo, he would be rolling his eyes. “Anyway, what’s done is done. And Connor does seem to be a lot better. Reed thinks that maybe the regeneration ability has kicked in.”

 

Gus feels relief. He is glad that Connor is not in such pain anymore. “Alright. What do you need? How can I help?”

 

Torpedo is quiet for a moment. “Honestly, I feel like more people is just going to overwhelm Evan. Maybe we all just catch up tomorrow? I think they’re going to get an early night. Everyone’s really tired, it’s been kind of emotional.”

 

Gus nods. “Okay. As long as you are sure. You know you can call if you need me.”

 

“Go hang out with Steve,” Torpedo suggests. His voice grows slightly concerned. “Reed said you weren’t doing so well last night? That you weren’t sleeping well. But that Steve’s looking out for you. I’m glad you’ve got him, he sounds cool.”

 

“You will have to meet him sometime,” Gus says, and realizes that this will be a first.

 

It will be the first time Torpedo is meeting someone Gus is caring for.

 

“I’d like that a lot,” Torpedo replies, his voice warm.

 

When the call is over, Gus packs up a bag of things for him and Pampushka and begins the drive to Steve’s apartment.

 

Steve is pleased to see them when they arrive, and Penny is very excited to see Pampushka. As Penny and Pampushka play, Steve looks at Gus and seems to realize something is happening.

 

“Is everything okay?”

 

Gus frowns. “I am not sure.”

 

“What happened?”

 

Gus looks over to where Penny and Pampushka are cuddled on the floor, and looks back at Steve.

 

And begins to tell him everything.

 

* * *

Brewer gets back to the office she and Fence are renting out with a bag of Indian takeout to see Fence wrapping up a phone call. She puts the bag on the desk and looks at him expectantly.

 

Fence seems more than a little spooked. “That was Charles,” he says, frowning. “Letting us know that Evan Hansen just walked into his apartment with no memory of ever having been gone.”

 

Brewer’s eyes widen. “What the hell?”

 

“Last thing he remembers was being at work,” Fence continues. “He had no idea he was missing. Seems more than a little shaken up about it, from all accounts.”

 

“We need to talk to him,” Brewer says instantly. “We should go over there right now.”

 

“Charles has asked if we can wait until tomorrow,” Fence says, a little hesitantly. “Apparently he’s pretty overwhelmed.”

 

Brewer frowns. “I guess,” she says, reluctantly. “But this is weird, right? This is super weird.” She hesitates. “Do we think that Neolution could have wiped his memory or something along those lines?”

 

“Or he has a concussion,” Fence points out. “We should probably check out some of the more based in actual science reasons before we go straight to the science fiction. Charles has organized for Evan to get an MRI tomorrow morning.”

 

Brewer considers. “I mean, an MRI is probably a good idea. If there is some kind of weird mind control device in his head, it would show up, right?”

 

Fence nods. “Probably.” He sighs. “They brought up the whole mind control theory with Evan and he’s pretty freaked out at the idea. Which…” Fence looks at Brewer, still frowning. “If he _was_ being mind controlled, then surely his reaction would be more along the lines of “that’s crazy, why would you even think that?” rather than “that’s terrifying, let’s find a way to confirm either way”?”

 

“So you think that because he thinks mind control is within the realm of possibility, he’s really him,” Brewer concludes. “That’s… I mean, I suppose it makes sense. But it’s not enough to make a call on.”

 

She pulls a serving of lamb korma out of the takeout bag and hands it to Fence, then takes her own chicken tikka masala out and digs in. Fence opens up the container, then kind of stares at it for a moment.

 

“There’s something bigger going on here,” he says finally. “And I don’t even know where to start. But regardless of whether Evan’s being mind controlled or not - and can I just say for the record I still think that’s insane - there has to be a reason Neolution sent him home.”

 

“Agreed,” says Brewer. She looks over at her partner, who’s looking increasingly concerned. “So we talk to him tomorrow. Find out as much as we can. Then we watch his every move for the next little while, see what he’s doing.” She sighs. “It could be as simple as Evan working for Neolution this whole time. The whole thing could be a setup. He could be lying about not remembering. He is an ex-DYAD employee, after all.”

 

Fence shrugs. “I know that’s the simplest solution,” he says. “But somehow I don’t think that’s what’s happening. Evan’s got history with the other clones. I don’t think he’d turn on them. And I honestly can’t imagine him willingly scaring his mother and fiance by disappearing for a week.”

 

Brewer hates to say it, but feels like she should. “You don’t know Evan, though,” she points out. “You’re just going based on what the clones have said. And… well, you might be a little bit biased. Given the personal connection.”

 

Fence looks at her for a moment, and his face goes stony. “I don’t appreciate having my professionalism called into question,” he says, and it’s like a brick wall has slammed into place, and Brewer's stunned for a moment, because...

 

Well. 

 

She'd thought that she and Fence were making some kind of progress toward being friends rather than just partners who tolerated each other. He'd been softer on this case, more human, and Brewer had liked it. 

 

Probably more than she should, to be honest. 

 

She looks at him, and chooses her words carefully. “I’m not trying to offend you-”

 

“You requested me as your partner, Brewer,” Fence says, his voice low. “Because you have a morbid fascination with the Phanes clones. And now you’re using that against me, and I don’t appreciate it.”

 

“I’m not wrong, though,” she presses. “You don’t know him.”

 

“I don’t,” he concedes, “but I’m not about to disregard what people who care about him have to say.”

 

“I didn’t ask you to, I’m just pointing it out,” Brewer shoots back. She sighs. “Look, can we just eat dinner and then get an early night and talk about this tomorrow? This case is weird. And for you, it’s kind of personal. And it’s setting both of us on edge, so… can we call a ceasefire here?”

 

Fence looks at her for a long moment, then nods. “Fine. Okay.” He stabs at his korma with more aggression that totally necessary, and Brewer tries not to let her frustration show.

 

It’s been a long, weird week.

 

Maybe tomorrow they might finally get some answers.

  



	33. THIRTY-TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can rationalize almost anything.

Connor wakes up in the middle of the night, shivering and sick to his stomach. He manages to get out of bed and to the bathroom before vomiting profusely. 

 

Fuck. 

 

He hopes he hasn’t woken up Evan, who he’s still not a hundred percent sure he hasn’t just imagined is back and unharmed and missing a week of his memories. 

 

The whole thing is just so fucking surreal. 

 

When he’s finally finished puking, he makes sure the bathroom door is locked, then reaches into the bathroom cupboard to where he’s keeping his stash of pills for the time being. He’s put them in an old medication bottle, which he realizes is terrible in terms of drug safety, but at the least the bottle has his name on it. 

 

Connor turns on the faucet to drown out any suspicious noises, crushes up a couple of pills then snorts them as quickly as he can. The sooner he can get back to bed, the less likely Evan is to realize anything’s wrong. The drugs hit and he feels almost instantly better, so he takes a moment to brush his teeth before heading back to bed. 

 

When he gets back to the bedroom, Evan’s sitting upright in bed, the lamp next to him on. He’s staring into space and doesn’t seem to notice Connor until he’s crawled back into bed beside him. 

 

“Hey,” Connor says, and Evan looks at him for a moment before smiling slightly. “You okay?” 

 

“Kind of freaked out,” Evan admits. “I just… I don’t remember a whole week, Connor, that’s… who knows what happened.”

 

“You’re back now,” Connor insists, wrapping himself around Evan as tight as he can. “And it’s going to be okay.”

 

They sit there for a while. 

 

“Do you think they did something to me?” Evan practically whispers. “I mean, the whole mind control thing sounds insane, but… I’ve seen some pretty insane things over the years. Human cloning. Your healing. It’s not… it’s not impossible.”

 

“I don’t know,” Connor says, because there’s nothing else to say. He doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t want to think about it. “But you’re you. And I’m glad you’re back.”

 

“There has to be a way to be sure,” Evan continues, frowning. “A way to be sure that my mind is… my mind, and someone’s not hacking into it.” He looks at Evan. “There are others, right? Others that they think might have had the same thing done to them?”

 

“Yeah,” Connor says, “and they’re both dead.”

 

Fuck. 

 

He didn’t mean to say that. 

 

Evan’s gone white at his words, and Connor rushes to reassure him. “All it means is that if there’s some kind of freaky mind control device in them, whoever’s doing the autopsy will find it eventually, right? And then they’ll know where to look, and they can do a scan or whatever, and check your brain, and once we know either way we can figure out what to do next.”

 

“Yeah,” says Evan, though he doesn’t sound particularly convinced. “That… yeah, that makes sense.”

 

“Let’s get some sleep,” Connor says, because he’s exhausted and he’s sure Evan must be, too. 

 

Evan lets Connor practically drag him back down under the covers, then leans over to switch off the bedside lamp. Connor kisses the back of Evan’s neck, then Evan rolls over so they can kiss properly. 

 

It’s achingly familiar, but not quite right at the same time. 

 

Connor tries not to think about it too much. 

 

“Were you sick?” Evan asks as they break off. “You’re still… you’re still going through withdrawal?”

 

“A little bit sick,” Connor says, “but I’m okay now. And I have it all under control. Promise.”

 

“Okay,” says Evan, sounding unsure. “I’m so sorry. You must have been so worried.”

 

“It’s not your fault.”

 

“I would have been worried if it had been you.”

 

“Evan, It’s not your fault.”

 

Connor’s feeling sleepier by the second. He just wants to enjoy this. Being in bed with his fiance, like everything’s normal and nothing bad has happened. 

 

Evan buries his head in Connor’s neck and Connor feels himself drift off. 

 

* * *

When Charles and Tina head down for breakfast on Saturday morning, they find Jared and Gaelle already at the hotel restaurant. Gaelle’s eating an impressive stack of pancakes and practically vibrating in her seat.

 

Charles can relate. He’s full of nervous energy himself. 

 

He takes a few breaths to try to calm himself down a little bit, in the hopes that it’ll rub off on the exuberant eight-year-old. 

 

After Charles and Tina help themselves to something to eat from the breakfast buffet, they head toward Jared and Gaelle’s table. 

 

“Morning,” Jared greets them as they take a seat. “What’s the plan for today? Doing the whole MRI thing?” 

 

“That’s the one,” Charles confirms. “Where are Lili and Miranda?”

 

“At work,” Gaelle pipes up. “They are very busy.”

 

Charles nods. “They are. I hope they’re not too busy for breakfast, though.”

 

“They were awake before us,” Gaelle explains. “They start early. Jared needs more sleep.”

 

“I really do,” Jared confesses. “Still don’t think I’m used to the time difference yet.”

 

Charles thinks it’s got more to do with the fact that Jared hasn’t gotten used to the fact that he’s back in the States. He knows Jared hasn’t been back in nearly seven years. He also knows that there are absolutely zero plans for Jared to go visit his family, or anyone else he knew when he lived here. 

 

It must be stressful, being back when he really doesn’t want to be. 

 

“Guess I’ll head over once I’ve had breakfast,” says Tina, sighing a bit. “An administrator’s work is never done.”

 

“We’re getting there, though,” Charles points out. “We’ll have a skeleton crew of scientists working on Monday in the temporary lab, and plans for constructing the new facility are coming along nicely, thanks to everyone’s hard work.”

 

“Doesn’t hurt that ERAS is worth billions of dollars,” Jared says. “Money does make everything go quickly.”

 

“Speaking of money,” Tina says, her voice quiet, “Mr. Buskirk’s lawyers called me yesterday. Since both he and Magnet have… passed away, he’s left everything to ERAS.” 

 

Charles feels his eyes sting and a lump rise in his throat. “We’ll make sure we do something fitting to remember both of them when the new facility is built,” he promises. 

 

“So what’s happening with this MRI?” Jared asks, frowning a little. “You’re trying to find some kind of weird mind control device? That’s what’s happening?” 

 

“It’s a theory,” Charles says hesitantly. “Mostly we’re looking for brain damage. Anything out of the ordinary. Considering that Evan doesn’t remember an entire week… we want to make sure he’s in good health.” 

 

“Technically, he’s still the Director,” Tina points out. “But considering everything that’s happened, we may want to… change that.”

 

“Why?” Jared asks, genuinely curious. 

 

“At the very least, he’ll need to take some leave,” Charles says thoughtfully. “I don’t think that jumping straight back into things is a good idea until we can get to the bottom of what happened to him. And it’s… well, it’s a security risk, having a Director who’s got a huge gap in their memory, who was potentially kidnapped and experimented on by Neolution.”

 

Jared nods. “That’s fair, I guess. And he’ll understand.” He frowns. “If he’s really Evan, he’ll understand.” 

 

“Exactly,” Charles agrees. “We have everything under control with the new facility. I’m very anxious to get it up and running as soon as possible. It’s a sign of strength. Letting Neolution know they haven’t beaten us.” 

 

“Unless us rebuilding quickly is what they want,” Tina points out quietly. 

 

“That’s the thing, though,” Jared says firmly. “We don’t know what they want. We don’t know what their endgame is, what they’re trying to achieve.”

 

“We don’t,” Charles says, frowning as he pushes his eggs around his plate. “We really, really don’t.”

 

* * *

When Connor wakes up again, it’s to Evan gently shaking him awake.

 

“Hey,” Evan says softly. “My mom and Seamus are taking me to meet Beanpole to get an MRI. Did you want to come or are you not feeling up to it?”

 

Connor can feel the nausea rising in him. “I might just stay in bed,” he says. “Unless you want me to be there?”

 

Evan looks a little relieved. “If you’re still sick, you need to rest,” he says firmly. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. I know Beanpole probably has questions, and I think so do the FBI, but I’ll try to keep it short. So I can get back here to you.”

 

“Is anyone staying here?” Connor asks. 

 

Evan frowns. “Not unless you want someone to stay with you?” 

 

“No, no, it’s fine,” Connor assures him. “I just wanted to check. So… I’ll go back to sleep, and you’ll go get your brain scanned. It’s all good.” 

 

Evan leans in and kisses him, and Connor feels like the worst person in the universe, because all he can think about is that this is a great opportunity to go and buy some more drugs. 

 

It’s not like he’s just given up on getting clean, he reasons. It’s that right now isn’t the right time. It’s that he can’t afford to be so incredibly sick with withdrawal when everything else is so uncertain. 

 

He needs to be strong. He needs to be there for Evan. And he can’t do that when he’s going through withdrawal. 

 

He hasn’t given up on getting clean. 

 

This is just temporary. He’s just putting it off for a while. 

 

Connor waits in bed until he hears the front door lock and he’s sure that everyone’s gone. 

 

Then he gets up, throws on some clothes and heads out into the city. 

 

* * *

When Charles gets to the Martinos Center, Evan’s already there, talking with Dr. Carol Harkness, who is, as always, not dressed even slightly like what you’d expect one of the country’s leading biomedical researchers to be dressed. She’s wearing overalls and a crop top and sneakers and waves when she sees Charles.

 

“Hey there, Charles,” she says, her voice bright. “I was just giving Evan here a hard time for not returning my calls. Then again, I suppose you guys were busy with the whole explosion thing.”

 

“Slightly busy, yes,” Charles confirms, and looks at Evan who shrugs slightly apologetically. 

 

“So what do you need?” asks Carol, before taking a sip of a ridiculously large Starbucks coffee. “You said something about using an MRI?” 

 

“We need to scan Evan’s brain,” Charles says bluntly. “He’s had some memory loss, and we’re just trying to make sure he’s okay.”

 

“Alright,” says Carol, frowning slightly. “Any reason you just didn’t get him seen by a regular hospital?”

 

“We’re also looking for anything… unusual.”

 

“Unusual how, exactly?”

 

Charles considers for a moment. He’s known Carol for some time. She’s worked closely with ERAS since the beginning. 

 

“We’re looking for any kind of strange technology,” he says finally. 

 

Carol’s eyes widen. “Whoa. Okay. Uh, yeah, sure, let’s get to it.” She ushers them through to her lab. 

 

Charles notices that Heidi and Seamus are trailing behind them. “We could be here a while,” he says, apologetically. “Did you want to go get a coffee or something and come back?” 

 

Heidi and Seamus exchange a look. Heidi seems reluctant to leave Evan, but nods in agreement, and they two of them head off. 

 

“When you say strange technology, what exactly are we looking for?” Carol asks once they’re alone. 

 

Charles looks at her. “I’m afraid you’ll think we’re rather mad if I tell you.”

 

Carol shrugs. “I’m all about the weird shit. Lay it on me.”

 

“Mind control.”

 

Carol stares for a moment, then starts laughing. “Mind control? Oh my god, that’s so fucking cool.”

 

“Well, it’s my mind,” says Evan irritably, “so it’s slightly less cool for me, thanks.”

 

Carol’s laughter stops. “Wait, you think there’s some kind of mind control device in Evan’s head? Who’d do that? And how?”

 

“Evan’s been missing since the explosion,” Charles confesses, because there’s not much point keeping it a secret now. “He came back with no memory of being gone. We’ve also had a series of attacks, and a first-person account of the organization we suspect took him having used mind control technology in the past. So even though it sounds crazy, we’d like to check.”

 

“Absolutely,” Carol says, nodding. She pauses for a moment. “Okay, so if we find anything, I get to try and take it out, right? And study it? Obviously I’ll let you know anything I find, but… this kind of technology is amazing.”

 

“We’ll see,” Charles says curtly, because at this point he can’t even think that far ahead. 

 

Carol turns to Evan. “Right. Okay. Let’s get you sorted.”

 

As Carol talks Evan through the procedure, Charles’ phone rings. He sees it’s Fence calling, and answers. 

 

“Hello?”

 

“Charles? The coroner’s office just called me,” says Fence, his voice urgent. “They found something in Ross Black’s autopsy. In his brain.”

 

“Really?” 

 

“Yeah. Some kind of microchip? I’m sending you through the brain scans they took to finally locate it. You should get them via email any second.”

 

“Did they find the microchip in the bartender as well?” Charles asks urgently. “Do they still have the microchip so we can study it?”

 

“That’s the thing,” says Fence, and Charles can hear his frown. “It disintegrated. The moment they touched it. The one in Black’s head, that is. And then when they located one in the second body, that one disintegrated, too.”

 

Charles frowns, too. “That’s… inconvenient.”

 

“Very,” says Fence, who does not sound happy about this. “On the bright side, though, they’ve now got scans that show where the device is.”

 

“Which means now we know where to look,” Charles concludes. 

 

“I figured you’d want to know,” says Fence. “It’s something, at least.”

 

It’s more than something, Charles thinks. If they know where to look, that means that soon they’ll know, one way or another, whether Evan’s really Evan. 

 

But it doesn’t mean he’s got any idea what to do if it turns out he’s not. 


	34. THIRTY-THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Results are in.

“Good news,” says Carol enthusiastically as she shows Charles and Evan into her office where a series of scans are stuck to a lightbox. “There’s nothing in Evan’s brain. Well, apart from the stuff that’s meant to be there.”

 

“Everything looks normal?” Charles clarifies, feeling a wave of relief hit him. Hard. 

 

“I can see some light swelling,” Carol says, pointing to different areas, “so I do think at some point he’s had a concussion and probably needs to rest. But no sign of anything funky. Nothing like what’s in these scans you sent me.”

 

She points to the two scans sent through by Fence, where Charles can indeed see a small but obvious gray square. “So that’s the mind control device, huh.”

 

“Must be,” Carol says. She’s frowning a little bit. “I’d have much rather actually seen the original scans and any data about the autopsy I can get would be great, but at least we’ve ruled out that there’s anything in Evan, right?”

 

“Thank you,” says Evan, his voice sounding overwhelmingly grateful. “Just… thank you, it’s been freaking me out.”

 

“No worries,” says Carol with a smile. “I’m serious about the original scans and any more data, though. Unless you’ve got people on your team working on it?”

 

“Not so much,” Charles confesses. “The neuroscience department is… a little understaffed right now.”

 

“Meaning that the explosion killed nearly everyone,” Evan says sadly. 

 

Carol’s eyes soften in sympathy. “I’m sorry. There were some good people there.” She frowns suddenly. “Wait. Hannah Weiss. Is she…”

 

“She made it,” Charles assures her. “She’s still in hospital, though. She’s pretty beaten up.”

 

“I’m glad she made it,” says Carol sincerely. “We’ve worked together in the past and I’m pretty excited about what she’s got coming up. Plus, she’s awesome. The world needs more Hannahs.” 

 

“Couldn’t agree more,” says Evan, smiling. He looks at Charles. “So… where does this leave us?”

 

“I don’t know,” Charles admits. Knowing that Evan’s really Evan is like a weight being lifted, but he’s still not sure what Neolution wants, why they took him and why they sent him back. “I guess what we have to figure out is what it is you know as the Director of the Boston ERAS Center that they wanted to know. Once we figure that out, we can go forward from there.”

 

“I was Director for about 6 weeks,” Evan points out, frowning. “You were Director for years. Why target me?” Before Charles can even say anything, Evan’s frown deepens and he continues. “Right. Because I’m the easy target.” 

 

“In fairness,” says Carol, “Charles here is basically like the Iron Man of the scientific community. It makes way more sense to attack when Hawkeye’s running the show.”

 

“You think I’m Hawkeye?” Evan asks, and Charles can’t tell if he’s offended or not.

 

“I think I’m much more polite than Iron Man,” Charles adds. 

 

“Well, yeah, that’s a given,” says Carol. “On second thought, I can’t remember Hawkeye ever being in charge. Maybe that was a bad comparison.” She looks at Evan thoughtfully. “I suppose you could be Captain America, but that doesn’t work either, because no one’s going to mess with Captain America.” She shrugs. “I’ll figure it out.”

 

“Okay,” says Evan, looking at Charles. “So I guess we try to figure out what I know that they might have been interested in.” He winces. “If I don’t remember anything, then I can’t be sure what I told them, so we have to assume they know everything.”

 

“Are you up to talking with the FBI?” Charles asks. “Fence and Brewer aren’t too far away.”

 

Evan shrugs. “Sure. I’m as anxious to figure this out as all of you.”

 

As they bid Carol farewell and head to Charles’s car, Charles tries not to think about the fact that even though Evan sounded grateful to know he didn’t have a mind control device in him, he also didn’t sound surprised. 

 

Then again, Evan looks exhausted. He’s probably reading too much into all of this. 

 

Evan texts his mom as they drive, letting her know where they’re going to. Charles figures it makes sense that Heidi’s a little anxious to know where Evan is at all times, considering what happened. 

 

“So…” Evan says, almost conversationally. “The FBI’s involved in my disappearance? That’s… intense.” 

 

“They got a bit of a heads up,” Charles confesses, because now that he knows that Evan’s Evan, he’s feeling a little less like he should be careful of everything he says to his friend. 

 

Only a little less careful, however. 

 

“Really?” 

 

“Yes, someone told them DYAD wanted you.”

 

Evan takes in a sharp breath, then lets it out in a rush of air. He rubs his face, and Charles is struck by just how freaked out he looks. “Okay,” he says after a moment. “Okay. That’s… that’s terrifying.”

 

“The agents on the case are good,” Charles assures him. “Brewer and Fence. Fence is one of us, actually.”

 

Charles looks over and can tell the minute Evan clicks. “Oh my god. Noah Fence is an FBI Agent?”

 

“He goes by Drew, but yes.” Charles allows himself a chuckle. “For a guy who’s name is a terrible pun, he’s one of the most composed people I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t want to play poker with him.”

 

“I feel like I’ve missed a lifetime,” Evan confesses. “Mom was saying that… Gus has a boyfriend? The last I heard, he was going on a first date. For Gus, that’s… fast. Gus doesn’t really move fast when it comes to relationships.”

 

“His name’s Steve,” says Charles. “I haven’t met him, but he’s met Reed and Lucas and Donna.”

 

“He’s met Lucas?” Evan repeats, clear alarm in his tone. “That’s… he was with Joe for 3 years and Joe never met a clone. That’s… that’s huge.”

 

“Steve came to the hospital the night you disappeared and brought everyone dinner,” Charles says. “He seems like an honest-to-goodness lovely fellow. He’s been keeping an eye on Gus - Gus has been finding things hard. Connor’s been… well, with you gone, he wasn’t doing so well.”

 

“I’m so sorry.”

 

“Evan, it’s not your fault.”

 

They’re quiet for a while, then Evan continues. “I don’t mean to keep talking about it, but are we sure this Steve guy is trustworthy?”

 

“Torpedo ran an extensive background check,” Charles assures him. “We have no reason to believe he’s not.”

 

“Okay,” says Evan, clearly not convinced. He looks out the window for a long moment. 

 

“Is there any other reason you suspect Steve isn’t who he says he is?” Charles asks after a while, knowing he’s taking the bait but needing to know nonetheless. 

 

“He just seems to have shown up at a convenient time,” says Evan, his voice hesitant. “That, and…” He looks at Charles then appears to steel himself. “I’ve been wracking my brain, trying to figure out what kind of things I know Neolution would be particularly interested in. What things they might have forced out of me. And the top of that list? It’s gotta be the healing. Gus and Connor’s abilities. So… this guy showing up out of the blue? It’s enough to put me on edge.”

 

Charles wants to say that they don’t need to worry, but that seems naive right now. 

 

Instead, they just nod. “Alright. We’ll make sure to keep an eye on him.”

 

* * *

Drew can’t say that he dislikes Evan Hansen. He seems like a nice guy - quiet, a little awkward, but very willing to get to the bottom of what’s going on with him.

 

It’s just that for some reason, he gives him the creeps. 

 

It could be the enormity of what’s happened to him. Being taken by a nefarious organization, returning with no memory of an entire week, the threat of creepy mind control devices… it’s enough to make someone a little on edge. 

 

Still, Evan kind of… feels weird, and Drew can’t figure it out. 

 

“Well, we’ve managed to rule out a mind control device,” Charles says, sighing. Drew can’t help but notice how tired the other clone is. “However, we have managed to confirm that mind control devices do exist and were used on both Ross Black and Cameron Rossini, so there’s that.”

 

“Awfully convenient they dissolved,” Evan comments with a frown.

 

“I don’t disagree.”

 

“What we should probably tell you,” says Evan, his voice a little hesitant, “is that I have a theory about what Neolution might want.”

 

“And what would that be?” asks Brewer. Her tone’s professional, but Drew’s known her too long not to have picked up that she’s getting a kick out of this whole thing, despite herself. 

 

Charles and Evan exchange a look. “Gus and Connor.”

 

“Okay,” says Fence, as neutrally as he can. “Why them in particular?”

 

“Because they can heal,” says Evan firmly. “Accelerated regeneration. Back in 2021 when DYAD took Connor, they took out his eyeball. It grew back in a few weeks.”

 

“His eyeball grew back?” Brewer asks incredulously. 

 

“So did his index finger,” Evan continues. “And Gus grew back a kidney. And…” He trails off, and starts to go pale. “And both Connor and Gus survived suicide attempts in their teens because of their abilities.”

 

“Fuck,” says Brewer, looking at Drew with wide eyes. “So it’s just Gus and Connor? Not all of you?”

 

“Just Gus and Connor.”

 

“Because they’re the only set of twins the experiment ever had,” Drew concludes. “It did something weird to their biology.”

 

“How much of what they can do have you studied at ERAS?” Brewer asks. 

 

Evan shakes his head. “We haven’t studied them. Not at all. It’s not… it’s not the kind of thing we want people knowing about. Sure, we’d do everything we can to test humanely, but if someone else found out they might want to try more extreme methods, and we can’t let that happen. I can’t let that happen.”

 

“You think that Neolution might know about Gus and Connor’s abilities,” Fence confirms, and Evan nods. 

 

“If I can’t remember, I can’t be sure I didn’t tell them,” he says firmly. “I can’t be sure they didn’t make me tell them.” He looks at Charles. “Aside from that, I don’t know what else they would be interested in regarding what we’re doing at ERAS. We’re more or less an open book. The whole point of ERAS was to be transparent in our research.”

 

“Which is one of the reasons we never studied Gus and Connor,” Charles adds. “It wasn’t something we wanted to hide.”

 

“So Neolution kidnaps the Director of ERAS to try and extract their secrets,” says Brewer, who’s practically pacing by this stage. “Except instead of extracting ERAS’s secrets, they find out a secret that’s not even really ERAS’s. That two of the clones have healing abilities.” She looks at Fence. “From their point of view, they’ve probably hit the jackpot.”

 

“If you were them, what would your next move be?” Evan asks curiously. 

 

Fence thinks about it. “Well, they didn’t need to send you back. They might just be trying to lull us into a false sense of security.” 

 

“I guess,” says Evan, frowning a little. “But we’re going to… we have to figure out a way to keep Gus and Connor safe, right? Maybe we could… I don’t know, maybe the three of us could go away somewhere. Out of the country or something. Just until you all get to the bottom of what’s going on.”

 

Brewer and Fence exchange a look, and Fence knows his partner is thinking what he’s thinking. 

 

That even if Evan’s been cleared for mind control devices, it doesn’t mean they should blindly trust him just yet. 

 

“I think carry on with life as normal,” Brewer says, “but be alert. In the meantime, we want to ask you a few questions about what you remember.”

 

“I don’t remember a lot,” Evan says with a frown, “but I’m happy to tell you everything I know. Anything that’ll help put an end to all of this and get things back to normal.”

 

Fence nods. “Okay. Let’s get to it.”

 

* * *

Connor’s just gotten back to his apartment with enough drugs to tide him over for a little while as long as he’s careful when his phone rings. He answers it without checking who’s ringing.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Connor? Is Gus. You are feeling better, yes?”

 

“Much better, yeah,” Connor says, trying to force a smile into his voice. He’s having a bit of a hard time concentrating, but he knows it’s vital he convince Gus that everything’s okay. 

 

That he’s just finished withdrawal quickly, not that he’s high. 

 

“Torpedo calls me and tells me Evan is back,” says Gus, his voice grave. “But that he does not remember. I am glad to hear he is safe and with us, but the fact that he does not remember… this is troubling. How are you? Are you doing okay?”

 

“I’m okay,” Connor says. “I’m just… you know, resting.”

 

“Did I wake you? I am sorry.”

 

“No, I was up, just resting.”

 

“Who is with you now?” Gus asks, his voice curious. 

 

“It’s just me,” Connor says, and before Gus can say anything, he keeps talking. “I’ve been sleeping most of the day. Evan’s gone to get a brain scan, then talk to the FBI, and he should be home any minute.”

 

“I do not like that you are alone, Connor,” Gus says, and Connor can hear him frowning. “You are fragile right now. It is not good to be alone.”

 

“I appreciate you worrying,” says Connor, trying to sound like a functioning adult, “but I’m okay. I’m fine. I rested, I’m feeling a lot better - I think I’m past the worst of it.” He changes tacts. “How’s Steve?”

 

“Steve is good,” says Gus, his voice cautious. “I am… I am telling him what has happened, and he is very kind. He wants to help, however he can.”

 

“Wait, what did you tell him?”

 

“I do not tell him everything from the beginning,” Gus says, “but I give him short version. So he is understanding.”

 

Connor can’t really think straight at that. It just isn’t really sinking in. 

 

It still feels weird, especially when Gus was so determined never to tell Joe anything. 

 

Joe and Gus were together for three years. 

 

Steve and Gus have been dating for a week. 

 

“You’re sure you can trust him?” Connor asks. 

 

“I am sure,” Gus says, and he sounds so sure that Connor hates to doubt him, but…

 

Well. 

 

Everything’s been pretty nuts. Evan was kidnapped, people are being murdered all over the place, there’s talk of creepy mind control and…

 

“Just be careful, alright?”

 

“I am always careful.”

 

Connor can’t think of what to say next, so he doesn’t say anything. All he does is think to himself that he very much hopes so. 

 


	35. THIRTY-FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Normal is the watchword.

“And you’re sure you don’t want to come along? Heidi said you’re more than welcome.”

 

Jared’s shaking his head before Charles can even finish his sentence. “Look, I’m glad Evan’s back and healthy and apparently doesn’t have a mind control chip in his brain, but honestly if I show up it’s just going to be awkward.”

 

“More awkward than Evan having been missing for a week and having no memory?” Tina asks, fake-innocently. 

 

“Yeah, pretty much.”

 

Jared looks fairly determined, so Charles decides not to ask again, despite the fact that it would be infinitely easier for him if both Evan and Jared would bury the hatchet and start over as adults. 

 

Then again, Evan’s just been through a pretty harrowing ordeal and, despite being the guardian of a small child, Jared’s only an adult in the very loosest sense of the word. 

 

Evan’s never said much to Charles about his relationship to Jared, but Jared’s confessed to having been an asshole in high school multiple times while drunk. On one memorable occasion while Charles was on a visit to Switzerland, he and Jared drank the majority of a bottle of scotch and Jared admitted to having made fun of Connor rather harshly the day before he allegedly killed himself and how he still kind of hates himself for it. 

 

Hating himself seems to be a very Jared emotion. 

 

Charles thinks that if he hated himself a little less, he’d be in a proper relationship with Lili by now. 

 

At any rate, this probably isn’t the time for an Evan and Jared heart to heart, given the circumstances, so Charles and Tina head over to Seamus and Heidi’s. They have the biggest living area, so they’re hosting a kind of ‘welcome home’ dinner for Evan on Sunday afternoon. 

 

Heidi is apparently making tacos. 

 

Charles rather enjoys Heidi’s tacos. 

 

When they arrive, almost everyone is there. Lucas and Donna are both helping Heidi in the kitchen and Seamus hands Charles and Tina a beer each as they enter the living room. Reed, Chiv and Rita are crammed on a sofa that probably shouldn’t fit three people, Torpedo’s cross-legged on the floor and Evan and Connor are on another sofa. 

 

Evan looks tired, and so does Connor. Connor possibly more so - he looks like he could fall asleep at any minute. When Evan sees Charles and Tina, he offers them a smile and a wave. 

 

“Glad you guys could join us,” he says warmly. 

 

“Who are we waiting on?” Reed asks curiously. “Just Gus?”

 

“I think he’s bringing Steve,” Seamus says. 

 

Evan and Connor both tense at that, and Charles frowns. Obviously Evan’s talked to Connor about his theory, which is… 

 

Well, part of Charles feels like there’s no sense getting paranoid. The other part thinks it’s fair enough. 

 

After speaking with Evan, Charles asked Torpedo to run another background check on Steve, and everything still checks out. 

 

But that doesn’t mean they can completely rule him out. 

 

A few moments later, Pampushka bounds in, Gus and Steve behind her. Seamus gives Gus a hug when he arrives, and shakes Steve’s hand warmly. Charles observes, trying not to make it look like he’s observing. 

 

Seamus has met Steve before, Charles knows, and from his body language, thinks he’s someone they can trust. 

 

Charles has always appreciated Seamus’s instincts. 

 

“This is Steve,” says Gus cheerfully. “Steve, I will make introductions. You know Seamus, who is Dad, and Heidi, who is is partner. Heidi is also Evan’s mom.” 

 

“Good to have you back, Evan,” says Steve, his voice sincere, and Evan smiles at him. A smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

 

“Here on couch we have Reed, Chiv and Rita. I think you are meeting all but Chiv before. He is Korean, also!”

 

Steve smiles. “만나서 반갑습니다.”

 

Chiv grins. “ 너도.”

 

“I will learn Korean soon,” Gus promises. “You are also meeting Lucas and Donna, but I do not think you meet Torpedo.” Gus gestures to his clone, then turns to Steve and smiles. “Is not his real name, but it is how he likes to be called.”

 

“When your parents name you Marvin, you get a little creative,” says Torpedo with an easy smile. “Good to meet you, man.”

 

“Likewise.”

 

“This is Tina,” says Gus, gesturing toward them, “and this is Charles, but sometimes we call him Beanpole.”

 

“Charles is fine,” he says, rolling his eyes slightly. Steve chuckles goodnaturedly and Charles can’t help but join in. 

 

It’s a first impression, sure, but he thinks he doesn’t mind this guy. 

 

Then again, first impressions aren’t always reliable, especially with everything that’s been going on. 

 

“And of course you are knowing Connor.” Connor waves, and smiles weakly, and leans his head on Evan’s shoulder. “I think he is very tired, though.”

 

“Nice to see you,” says Connor, and Charles is fairly certain he might end up falling asleep sometime during the proceedings. 

 

“Zoe stays with Hannah,” says Gus conversationally, “but she is saying hello to all.”

 

“I’m going to go visit her and Hannah at the hospital tomorrow,” says Evan with a nod. 

 

Soon the air is full of conversation and everyone’s plates are full of Heidi’s famous tacos. Charles looks around to see people split off into groups, and he and Tina join Gus, Steve and Torpedo at the kitchen table. 

 

“Gus mentioned you were new to Boston,” Torpedo says conversationally, “but that you have family here?”

 

“Yeah, my parents moved here from Ohio after I left high school,” he says. “But they moved from South Korea when I was five. So I grew up in Ohio, then went to college in Los Angeles, and started working in tech there when I met Penny’s mom.” 

 

“Is Penny with your folks now?”

 

Steve nods. “I figured it might be a bit overwhelming for her, to meet so many people. She knows Gus pretty well now, and she adores Pampushka, but we figure that we might wait a while before dropping the whole ‘identical faces’ thing on a six year old.”

 

“It’s actually not as weird for kids as you’d think,” Donna pipes up from across the room. “My brother has triplets. They met Gus and Connor when they were four and genuinely thought it was the best thing ever.”

 

“That’s because Gus is ridiculously good with kids,” Connor adds, and the twins exchange a smile, and Charles finds himself relaxing a little bit. 

 

All in all, it’s a nice, normal, comfortable event. 

 

“So, what can I do to help tomorrow?” Evan asks Charles during dessert. “To help get the new center set up.”

 

“Honestly, we’ve got it under control,” Charles says, trying to keep his tone light but firm. “I think you need to take some time off to recover.”

  
Evan looks at him, and for a moment there’s a flash of irritation over his face, but it’s gone as fast as it comes. “I’m sure there’s something I can do. I’ll go nuts if I stay at home doing nothing.”

 

“I’ll let you know if I think of anything,” Charles assures him. “But Tina, Miranda and Lili run a pretty tight ship, and Torpedo and Jared have their hands full with the IT side of things, which I know isn’t your area of expertise.”

 

Evan blinks. “Wait, Jared’s here? I thought he was in Switzerland.”

 

“He came over to help,” Tina says. She looks sympathetic. “It’s the first time he’s been back in the US in about seven years, actually.”

 

Evan frowns. “I mean, I knew he’d done some work for ERAS, I didn’t know that he was this involved.”

 

“Well, considering that Lili and Miranda came over, it made sense to bring him, too,” Tina points out. “And Gaelle, of course.”

 

“Gaelle?” Evan asks, clearly curious. 

 

“Lili’s daughter.”

 

“Right,” he says, almost to himself. “Jared’s girlfriend has a daughter, that’s right.”

 

“She’s not his girlfriend,” Charles corrects him.

 

Tina snorts. “She would be if both of them would get their heads out of their asses and talk to each other about their mutual squishy feelings.”

 

Donna laughs knowingly. “Ah, it’s like that, is it? Still, I guess it’s more complicated with a kid involved.” She and Lucas exchange a look. “Speaking of kids-”

 

“Actually, there might be something you can help with,” Charles interrupts before Donna has the opportunity to say anything. “Let me tell you more about it.”

 

With that, Charles takes Evan off into a corner and goes into a very long, very intense conversation about wholesale science equipment. Charles can see he’s boring Evan but Evan’s too polite to say anything, but at the very least he hopes he’s distracted him from talk of Gaelle. 

 

When he and Tina get to the car to drive back to the hotel, Tina turns to him. “You don’t trust Evan,” she says simply. 

 

“I don’t  _ not _ trust Evan.”

 

“You didn’t want him to know about Gaelle.”

 

Charles sighs. “We did promise it wouldn’t leave the room.”

 

“Lucas and Donna seem to know.”

 

“And that’s fine, but given what happened with Evan… it’s best he doesn’t know. It’s not something he needs to know, after all.”

 

Tina nods. “I suppose you’re right.” She frowns a little. “This whole paranoia thing. It’s… it’s going to be hard to keep up, you know that, right?”

 

Charles sighs. “Trust me, I know.”

 

* * *

It’s just after breakfast on Monday morning when Evan shows up in Hannah’s hospital room. Hannah’s been dozing on and off, but wakes up properly when Evan arrives. Zoe gets up from her seat in the corner and pulls him into a huge hug.

 

“Took your time coming to see us!” she says, sounding a little tearful. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner,” he says apologetically. “The last few days have been kind of chaotic. Lots of questions. Most of them I can’t answer.” He smiles at Zoe, his face soft. “It’s so good to see you.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t visit,” says Zoe, also apologetic. “I’m kind of weirdly paranoid about leaving Hannah, after everything that happened.”

 

“I totally get it,” says Evan, and he moves closer to Hannah’s bed to give her an awkward hug. “Hey Hannah. I’m glad you’re doing a bit better.”

 

“It’s so good to see  _ you,” _ Hannah says enthusiastically. “Thanks for getting me out of the office safely.”

 

Evan kind of smiles, looking embarrassed. “I mean, I don’t remember doing that, but… you’re welcome.”

 

“What do you remember?” Hannah asks quietly. 

 

“I remember going to work on Friday, and planning for my meeting with you, then going home,” he says, and it sounds a little like he’s reading from a script, which makes sense if he’s answered the same question over and over again. “It’s all kind of a blur aside from that. I didn’t even realize any time had passed until Connor freaked out when I got home.”

 

“How is Connor?” Zoe asks, and her voice sounds a little urgent. “He’s texted, says he’s doing okay, but he hasn’t stopped by, and I’m kind of still worried.”

 

“Not going to lie,” says Evan wearily, “he’s been pretty tired. But he seems like he’s doing okay. Perks of the accelerated healing, I guess.”

 

“That’s good,” says Zoe, and she sounds kind of relieved. “I’m just… I’m really glad you’re back, and you’re okay, and…” She pulls Evan into a tight hug. “I’ll try and stop by later today, okay? When Ruth and Daniel are here. They stayed overnight - we’re taking shifts.”

 

“The security outside interrogated me pretty hardcore before letting me in,” Evan says, frowning slightly. “Surely you don’t need to take shifts if you’ve hired them?”

 

“Zoe’s paranoid,” Hannah says with a roll of her eyes. 

 

“I’m not paranoid,” Zoe shoots back. “Someone genuinely tried to kill you.”

 

“Obviously, you want to do everything you can to keep Hannah safe,” says Evan decisively. 

 

“So is Connor at home or what?” asks Zoe, changing the subject.

 

“He’s sleeping in,” Evan says. “This is only a quick visit, sorry - I wanted to head back to him. Beanpole’s put me on mandatory leave for at least a week, which is annoying.”

 

“It also makes sense considering you literally cannot remember a week of your life.”

 

“Yeah, well, sure, but…” Evan shrugs. “I’d rather be working.”

 

“I feel you,” says Hannah sympathetically. “I keep trying to let them let me do something to help and it’s all ‘no Hannah, you’re in hospital Hannah, you have a brain injury Hannah’ and that bullshit.”

 

“All of that bullshit is  _ true,” _ Zoe points out irritably. 

 

“I’d better get back to Connor,” Evan says apologetically. “I just wanted to say hi. I’m going to go get some muffins and coffee and see if I can tempt my fiance out of bed.”

 

“Gross, but okay.”

 

With that, Evan hugs Zoe and hugs Hannah again, then heads out. When he’s gone, Zoe and Hannah exchange a look. 

 

“Did he seem weird to you?” Zoe asks. 

 

Hannah nods. “A little. But… I mean, considering everything, you can kind of expect it, right?”

 

One of the security guards comes through the door, two people with him that Hannah vaguely recognizes. “These people are here to see you, say they know you? Dr. Carol Harkness and Sarah Parkinson?”

 

Once she’s got the names, Hannah figures it out. “Sure, yeah, I’ve worked with both of them through Harvard.”

 

The security guard smiles, then heads back out into the hallway, giving them some privacy. Zoe yawns, then leans down and kisses Hannah. “You have fun talking nerdy, I’m going to go find a real cup of coffee. That okay?”

 

Hannah kisses her back. “That’s fine.”

 

Once Zoe’s gone, Dr. Harkness looks at Hannah and clicks her tongue sympathetically. “You look rough, kid. I’m glad you made it, though.” She grins. “Figured I should come visit once I found out what had happened - I was talking to Evan the other day and he and Charles mentioned what was going on.”

 

“You were talking to Evan?” 

 

“Yeah,” says Dr. Harkness enthusiastically. “I’m the one who scanned his brain.”

 

“Nice to see you, Sarah,” says Hannah to the nervous looking blonde. She’s worked with Sarah before, and knows that she’s brilliant but socially awkward. 

 

She’s never looked quite this awkward before, though. 

 

Before anyone can say anything, Sarah pulls a knife out of her shoe and heads straight for Hannah. Dr. Harkness lunges for her, but Sarah kicks her hard in the chest and she goes down hard. 

 

“Sarah, come on,” Hannah says, trying to keep her voice calm. “It’s Hannah. You know me. You don’t want to hurt me.”

 

Sarah’s pale and sweaty and her hand is shaky but the knife is still close to Hannah’s throat. “I’m trying as hard as I can,” she manages to say. “I’m trying not to hurt you, but he’s strong.”

 

“Who is? Who’s strong?”

 

There’s the sound of a gunshot, and Sarah falls to the floor. Hannah looks up to see one of the security guards standing, holding a gun, then looks to the floor to see that Sarah’s seizing. 

 

Dr. Harkness is scrambling to get upright, having had the wind knocked out of her, and Hannah swings her leg around to sit up and tries to get closer. 

 

The gunshot is in Sarah’s shoulder, nowhere near a vital organ, but she’s foaming at the mouth and all Hannah can see are the whites of her eyes. 

 

Then she’s still. 

 

And everything’s quiet for a moment. 

 

Dr. Harkness looks at Hannah, eyes wide and face pale. “Hannah, I’m so sorry, I...”

 

“It wasn’t you, and it wasn’t her,” Hannah says firmly. “But we need to find out who is responsible.”


	36. THIRTY-FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suspicious minds.

Steve decides to spend the morning working in a cafe. It’s been a while since he’s done that, and he could probably use the change of pace, not to mention a bit of focus. He’s got a deadline coming up and for the first time in a long time, he’s not way ahead of schedule. 

 

He’s not behind, by any stretch of the imagination, but he’s gotten used to having such a big buffer that he’s let himself take it easy for the last week or so, and it’s probably time to catch back up. 

 

Especially if he wants to spend more time with Gus. 

 

Which he absolutely does. 

 

It’s almost scary, just how quickly Gus has become part of his life. Part of Penny’s life. Just the other day, Penny asked if Gus and Pampushka could come live with them so they didn’t have to keep going home, and Steve’s heart just about imploded.

 

Firstly, his kid is clearly getting attached. 

 

Secondly, he can’t think of anything he’d like more. 

 

But there’s no way that’s going to happen now. Not now, when everything’s going crazy in Gus’s life, when they’ve only known each other for a while. Even though it feels like they’ve always known each other. 

 

Not when there’s the threat of this Neolution group hanging over everyone’s heads. 

 

Gus had explained how Neolution was an offshoot of DYAD, and how he’d been there when DYAD was taken down by ERAS. How DYAD had captured Connor, how Gus had taken his place and been experimented on, how the group had taken the whole place down. 

 

How six years later, Neolution’s back, and potentially using mind-control technology to get ordinary people to do their dirty work. 

 

“I understand if you do not wish to keep seeing me,” Gus had said, his voice hesitant. “There is much danger. You have a child. But I promise that I will do all I can to keep you safe.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Steve had replied then. 

 

There’s a part of him that thinks that’s insane. 

 

But there’s a bigger part that trusts Gus implicitly. Knows he wouldn’t do anything to hurt them. Knows that he’d keep them safe. Considering that Gus doesn’t work for ERAS at all, Steve thinks it’s worth the risk. 

 

Thinks Gus is worth the risk. 

 

Penny’s spending more and more time at her grandparents, which she’s always happy about because they spoil her rotten, and Steve sees that as a way of keeping her out of this. 

 

If there’s anything he can do to help with this whole Neolution thing, he’ll do it. He doesn’t know how, or what he would do, but he knows he’ll do it. 

 

Steve knows that he’s all in on this. 

 

He’s all in on Gus. 

 

And that’s scary, because he’s never felt this way about anyone before. 

 

He debates ordering another muffin when he sees a familiar face walk into the coffee shop. Evan waves at him, seeming a little surprised to see him, then heads to the counter and places his order. A few minutes later, he comes over. 

 

“Do you mind if I sit while I wait for my coffee?” says Evan tentatively. 

 

“Sure, go ahead.”

 

Evan smiles, then takes a seat. “I just wanted to say how nice it was to meet you yesterday,” he says, his voice warm. “You and Gus seem really happy together, and he deserves to be happy.”

 

“He’s a great guy,” Steve says honestly. “A really, truly great guy.”

 

Evan opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it again. “Gus said he told you… everything.”

 

“I got the short version, I’m sure,” says Steve quietly, “but yeah. He told me everything. I’m so sorry about what’s happening. How are you holding up?”

 

Evan shrugs. “It’s all kind of surreal. I hate the not remembering. And it feels like… I don’t know, it feels like we’re all just sitting around waiting for the next horrible thing to happen, and it’s driving me crazy.” 

 

Steve nods. “I get that.”

 

Evan sighs. “Anyway, I just wanted to say hi, and also say how cool it is that you’re so understanding about Gus’s past.”

 

Steve blinks. “Sure,” he says, not sure what Evan’s referring to specifically. 

 

“It’s gotta be hard, reconciling the fact that Gus murdered seventeen people when he was a teenager with the man he is today,” says Evan, and his tone is so matter of fact that Steve’s almost sure he’s heard him wrong. 

 

“I’m sorry, what?”

 

Evan looks at him for a moment, then his eyes widen. “Shit. Fuck. He didn’t… he didn’t tell you that bit.”

 

“He murdered seventeen people?” Steve repeats, in complete disbelief. 

 

There’s just…

 

There’s no way. 

 

There’s no way Gus is a murderer. 

 

No way at all. 

 

“It wasn’t his fault,” Evan insists, his voice slightly frantic. “He was raised by religious extremists. The people he killed… they were all other clones. He was taught they were demons.” 

 

“Seventeen clones,” Steve can’t help but repeat. “When he was a teenager?”

 

“He killed his first clone at thirteen,” says Evan, and Steve’s mind is reeling and he can’t believe this and he doesn’t know why Evan’s telling him this and if he weren’t sitting down, he’d need to, everything is shaky and nothing makes sense and

 

“Thirteen?”

 

“He’s different now,” Evan assures him. “Completely different. You don’t need to worry. That’s not him anymore. You don’t need to worry about your safety, or your daughter’s safety, Gus would never do anything to hurt you and her, I swear.”

 

“This is… a lot to take in,” Steve says, as calmly as he can. “I didn’t… I didn’t know.”

 

“Please don’t tell him I told you,” Evan says frantically. “I thought you knew, I honestly did, I… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to… I’m so sorry.”

 

The barista calls Evan’s name, and he stands up to go collect his coffee. Once he has it, he comes back to Steve’s table. “Are you okay? Do you want me to… do you need anything?”

 

“I just need to process for a bit,” Steve says, trying desperately to make sense of it all. 

 

“Okay. I’m sorry, I thought he’d told you.” Evan sighs. “I have to go, I’m… I’m so sorry.”

 

With that, Evan’s out the door, and Steve stares at his laptop blankly, thoughts spiraling through his head. 

 

* * *

“Something needs to be done,” Zoe says firmly when Agents Fence and Brewer walk through the door into Hannah’s hospital room. “This is the second time someone’s tried to kill Hannah.”

 

“Admittedly, I did sleep through the first one,” Hannah jokes weakly. 

 

“Not fucking funny,” Zoe seethes. 

 

She’s beyond furious right now. Beyond mad, beyond scared. If you could the explosion, this technically means it’s now the third time, and all they seem to be doing is running around in circles. 

 

She’s so mad she could scream. Instead, Zoe crosses her arms and stares straight at the FBI Agent wearing her brother’s face. “Do. Something.”

 

“I’ve spoken with Dr. Harkness,” Agent Brewer says, “and she’s agreed to do the autopsy. She wants a chance to get hold of the chip herself. To see if she can salvage it before it disintegrates like the others.”

 

Zoe turns to Hannah. “Does Dr. Harkness know what the fuck she’s doing?”

 

“Yes,” Hannah replies immediately. “Absolutely.”

 

“Well, at least someone does.”

 

“Okay,” says Agent Brewer, her tone a little testy. “I get that you’re upset-”

 

“Wow, what an observation.”

 

“But we are doing everything we can-”

 

“Then why aren’t we any further forward?” Zoe demands. “Instead of getting answers, we just keep getting more questions, and everything’s a complete fucking nightmare and there are mind control devices which means no one can be trusted and-”

 

“They’re trying to unsettle you,” Fence interrupts, his voice calm. “They’re trying to freak you out, make you distrust each other. And I’d say they’re doing a damn good job.”

 

“I just want to be able to do something,” says Zoe, aware that she’s sounding a little childish but not really caring. “Like, seriously - find out who the bad guys are and let me punch them. That’s all I ask.”

 

“Why don’t you take a break?” Hannah says, clearly going for a soothing tone but not quite hitting the mark. “Don’t they do kickboxing classes on Monday morning?”

 

“The last time I left, you nearly got stabbed,” Zoe retorts. “So, uh, no, I will not be leaving to go do a kickboxing class.”

 

“You do kickboxing?” Brewer asks, her eyes brightening. “Sweet. Me too.”

 

“I do mixed martial arts,” Zoe says, and Brewer looks even more excited.

 

“We should spar sometime,” says Brewer. “I never get a chance to spar anymore, oh my god.”

 

“Get to the bottom of what the fuck is going on and I’ll gladly kick your ass from here until next Saturday,” Zoe replies curtly. 

 

Brewer just laughs. “Knew there was a reason I liked you.”

 

Fence looks expressionless, as per usual. “If we can get the chip from Sarah Parkinson, we might be able to track it,” he says. “Find where they’re based.”

 

“See?” Hannah says, looking at Zoe. “Me nearly getting stabbed is a good thing?”

 

“Jesus  _ fuck, _ Hannah.”

 

“Babe, I’m Jewish. I don’t care what Jesus does.”

 

“If you find out where they are, then I can go punch someone, right?” Zoe says. 

 

Brewer just laughs. “The official FBI response is no. My response is ‘we’ll see’.”

 

Damian the security guard comes in with Dr. Harkness in tow. “The doctor wanted to speak with you,” he says calmly. “Considering what happened last time, I figured I’d say here while she does.”

 

Dr. Harkness nods. “Fair enough.” She looks over at Hannah. “I need a second pair of eyes. Hannah, can I borrow you downstairs?”

 

Hannah’s eyes light up. “I get to help with the autopsy?”

 

Zoe shakes her head before Hannah even finishes her sentence. “No. Absolutely not. No way in hell.”

 

“The hospital staff will allow it,” Dr. Harkness counters. “As long as she stays in a wheelchair and she goes back to bed the moment she starts to feel too fatigued.”

 

“I’m in,” says Hannah.

 

Zoe shakes her head even more furiously. “No. No, Hannah, I’m serious, I don’t want you anywhere except this hospital bed.”

 

Hannah looks at her determinedly. “Babe, I love you, but you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. You’re not my mom.”

 

“I’ll call your mom right now. I’m sure she’ll agree with me.”

 

“You can come too,” Dr. Harkness offers. “So can the security guards. Seriously, I just need a set of extra eyes I know I can trust.”

 

Hannah looks at Dr. Harkness for a moment and frowns. “Do you think there was something weird about the last two autopsies?”

 

Dr. Harkness nods. “From what I’m finding on this one based on what I was looking for in Evan… it’s completely different. Either we’re looking for different technology, or there was something wrong with the last two scans.” She looks up at Fence and Brewer. “Given the uncertainty, I think it’s best to have someone I know I can trust helping me. Considering how many times Neolution has tried to kill Hannah…”

 

“... she’s the best woman for the job,” Zoe finishes with a sigh. “Alright. Okay. I’m coming with you, though.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“And I’m bringing Damian. And also Kent.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“And if it’s boring, I reserve the right to complain. A lot.”

 

“Oh, it’s going to be boring.”

 

“Okay.” Zoe leans down and kisses Hannah fiercely. “And the minute, the very second you don’t feel up to it, you tell me and we send you back to bed, okay?”

 

“I can live with that,” says Hannah, smiling softly. “Have I mentioned how much I’m glad you’re here with me?”

 

“It may have come up once or twice,” Zoe says. 

 

What she doesn’t say is that she’d follow Hannah anywhere. 

 

It doesn’t need saying. 

 

* * *

Connor’s lying on the sofa when he hears Evan get home. There’s a little voice in the back of his head that’s saying he probably overdid it today with the oxy but he’s high enough not to really care. Still, he should probably keep up appearances.

 

He gets up off the sofa and gives Evan a hug when he gets into the living room. 

 

Evan looks concerned, and for a moment Connor’s convinced that he’s figured out he’s high, and he’s going to get some kind of a lecture or a talking to or whatever, but instead Evan just takes his hand and squeezes it. 

 

“We should go somewhere,” he says. “To the lakehouse, maybe.”

 

Connor frowns. “Cool, okay. Why?”

 

“If Neolution found out about your healing, then we should get out of town,” Evan says firmly. “Who knows what I told them if I don’t remember. You and I and Gus should all get out of town.”

 

Connor just stares at him for a moment. “I don’t know if Gus will want to go,” he says. “He’s pretty serious about this Steve guy. He probably won’t want to leave. Plus, you know, Gus is Gus. He can handle himself. If Neolution try anything, they’d be dead in seconds.”

 

“That’s the point,” Evan insists. “What if Neolution get some kind of mind control device in Gus? He’d be deadly. Completely deadly. And I’m still not sure about this Steve guy.”

 

“I think Steve’s nice,” Connor says, a little weakly. 

 

His head is kind of pleasantly fuzzy and he’s not really registering the conversation, but he’s trying his best to focus even though he’d really rather just be having a nap. 

 

“He seems nice, but what do we really know about him?” Evan points out. “I think he might be a Neolution plant. Think about it. It makes sense.”

 

Connor frowns. “Do you really think so?” 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“That sucks. That, like, properly sucks, Gus likes him so much.”

 

“I know he does,” Evan says gently. “But we need to keep Gus safe, right? That’s the most important thing.”

 

“Yeah,” says Connor, nodding. “Yeah, that does makes sense.” 

 

“I’ll figure it all out,” Evan promises. “We’ll figure it out. Tomorrow, we’ll talk to Gus, and we’ll go to the lakehouse for a bit, and just kind of camp out until everything blows over.” He smiles. “It’ll be nice. Relaxing. We can all just relax for a bit.”

 

Connor nods. “Okay.” 

 

Evan looks at him intently. “You look tired,” he says. “Have a nap, maybe? We’ll sort everything out. It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

 

There’s a voice in the back of Connor’s head that says that something isn’t right, but he’s tired, and it’s  _ Evan, _ so he follows his advice and goes back to bed. 


	37. THIRTY-SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontations.

Gus and Pampushka arrive at Steve’s in the afternoon. Steve had texted, said he wanted to talk, and Gus had some time after doing some dog washing just after lunch, so offers to come to visit. 

 

Steve’s texts had been very short, which was unusual for Steve. 

 

Gus hopes everything’s okay. 

 

He knocks on the door, and Steve answers. Gus takes one look at him and frowns. “Are you alright?” he asks. “You seem troubled.”

 

“Come in,” Steve says, and Gus and Pampushka come inside. Pampushka runs into the living room and seems disappointed to see that it is empty. 

 

“Penny isn’t here?” Gus asks. “Pampushka is looking for her, I think.”

 

“She’s at her grandparents,” says Steve, and his voice is short and sharp, and Gus is beginning to feel very concerned. 

 

“Steve. Are you alright?”

 

Steve looks at him for a long time. “I found out something today,” he says slowly. “About your past.”

 

Gus’s heart falls to the floor. “What did you find out?”

 

“That you killed people,” he says simply. “And I want to know why. I want you to… explain it, because it sounds… it doesn’t make sense.”

 

“How did you find out?” Gus asks, and Pampushka comes to stand next to him and nudges at his hand with her nose. 

 

Steve shakes his head. “That doesn’t matter.”

 

Gus stares at him. “It matters.”

 

“Just tell me what happened,” Steve says, and he looks… scared. Sad and scared. 

 

Scared of Gus. 

 

This is the worst thing Gus can imagine, and it is happening. 

 

He does not know what to do. 

 

What to say. 

 

“Gus. Please.”

 

“I was raised by monks in Ukraine,” he says, feeling like he is very far away. “When I am eight, I am taken by a group called Proletheans. They tell me that clones are abominations. Demons. That it is my duty to destroy them, to cleanse the earth of their evil.” He looks at Steve, trying to keep his voice steady. “I was eight years old. They taught me how to kill when I was eight years old. They… they tortured me, and did not give me food, and told me I had to… had to hurt myself, so I could be saved.”

 

“How old were you when you killed your first clone?” Steve asks. His voice shows no emotion, and Gus is lost. 

 

“Thirteen. I was thirteen.”

 

“And he was thirteen as well.”

 

“Yes. He was.”

 

“How many did you kill?”

 

“Seventeen. The last one I kill when I am almost eighteen. In front of my twin, who I did not know was my twin then. In front of Connor.” Gus tries to take a breath, but it feels like his throat does not want to let in air. “Connor is… he teaches me that I do not need to kill. That clones are not abominations. It takes time, but I learn to be a real person. I spent nearly ten years being tortured and… brainwashed into being a killer, but it is not who I am. Not anymore.”

 

Steve doesn’t say anything for a long moment. “I want to believe you,” he says, and there is emotion in his voice now. 

 

There is much, much pain. 

 

“It is the truth.”

 

“If it were just me to consider, I’d… but I have a daughter, Gus.”

 

Gus’s eyes widen. “I would never hurt her. Or you. Please believe me.”

 

“I just… I need some time to figure this out,” Steve says, and Gus can see that there are tears and he wants, very much, to move closer to him and wipe them away, but this is not something he can do. “We… we’ve moved really quickly, without really knowing each other, and I think we should… just take a bit of time, okay?”

 

“You do not want to see me again?” Gus asks, his voice very quiet.

 

“I do,” Steve says instantly. “I do, I really do. Gus, I… I’ve never felt this strongly about anyone before, I honestly haven’t, but I need to make sense of this. I need to… I need to take some time, to think about it, to get used to it. It’s… it’s a lot to take in.”

 

Gus can understand this, he thinks. 

 

It is a lot to take in. 

 

“I wish I had the chance to tell you myself,” he says, and he must blink many times so that the tears do not fall. “To explain better. It is… it is hard for me to talk of this, it is a part of my past that haunts me. Every day, it haunts me. I remember their faces. I remember the name of every life I took. I… I do not take this lightly. You must know this.”

 

“I just need some time, and some space,” Steve says. He bites his lip. “It’s not… I need to do what’s best for my family.”

 

Gus nods. “Understand.” He pets Pampushka for a long moment, trying to focus on the feel of her fur so he does not go into panic. “I will go now,” he says, when he feels he can move again, and Steve does not move to stop him. 

 

He gets into his van and Pampushka crawls into his lap. 

 

Gus cries for a very long time. When the tears finally stop, he drives. 

 

* * *

Jared’s got his own temporary office at the temporary Boston ERAS Center, and is hard at work on a particularly tricky line of code. It’s mid-afternoon, he’s not really expecting anyone to bother him since Torpedo got a call from one of his clients and had to fly to LA for a meeting.

 

He has to admit, the fact that the guy makes video games for a living makes him even cooler. It’s the kind of life that Jared would have killed to have at eighteen, or twenty, or twenty-one. 

 

He thinks he’s happy with the life he has now, though. 

 

Even if it’s not quite what he expected. 

 

There’s a knock on the door, and he looks up to see the absolute last person he expected standing there. 

 

“Hey, do you have a moment?” asks Evan. 

 

Jared thinks for a moment, then shrugs. “What the hell. Come in.”

 

Evan walks in, shuts the door and looks around for a moment, then takes a seat across from Jared’s desk. “You look like you’re settling in.”

 

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty portable these days.” Jared looks at him intently. “No offence, but we haven’t talked in six years. What do you want?” 

 

“To catch up,” says Evan, who looks far more at ease than he probably should, given the fact that the last time they saw each other, it wasn’t pretty. 

 

“Huh. Okay. Well, I’m good,” Jared says sarcastically. “Here cleaning up your messes because Beanpole’s a buddy of mine. Well done being interim director for like a whole minute before getting yourself kidnapped, by the way. Impressive.”

 

“So we’re not even bothering with the small talk,” Evan shoots right back. “Good to know. Okay.”

 

Jared throws his hands up. “What do you expect me to say, Evan?”

 

Evan shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m just interested. They tell me you’re playing happy families in Switzerland, that your girlfriend’s got a kid and you’re, what, Papa Jared now?” 

 

“Lili’s not my girlfriend,” Jared replies. He’s said it so many times it’s almost automatic. 

 

“But you care about her,” Evan counters. 

 

“I don’t see what this has to do with anything. Or how it’s your business.”

 

Evan smiles, and there is something absolutely not right about it. Jared’s starting to feel a little uneasy. “You see, I’ve been wracking my brain, trying to figure out why you’d drop everything and move to Europe to help raise someone else’s kid, and I think I have it figured out.”

 

Jared raises an eyebrow. “You do, do you?”

 

Evan looks at him intently. “That kid is Yorick’s, isn’t it? That’s why you’re helping raise her. Out of some misplaced sense of guilt.”

 

Jared just looks at him for a moment. “That’s not… no, why would you think that?” 

 

“Because you wouldn’t be doing it for any other reason,” Evan says. “You don’t have an altruistic bone in your body. Guilt, however… guilt’s a powerful motivator.”

 

Jared’s getting more and more creeped out, because the Evan he remembers would never be this direct. He remembers something someone said about mind control. 

 

Shit. 

 

Fuck. 

 

This isn’t Evan. 

 

He reaches for his bag which has his phone in it, but before he can do anything, Evan’s behind him with a knife to this throat. “Is the child the daughter of a clone?” Evan says calmly.

 

“I’m not telling you anything,” Jared says, despite the fact that there’s a literal knife at this throat and his heart is pounding and someone he has known longer than he remembers appears to be genuinely trying to kill him. 

 

“Good enough for me,” Evan replies. “Definitely a clone baby, then.” 

 

Jared thinks that Evan’s going to slit his throat. 

 

Thinks that whoever’s taken over Evan’s body is going to slit his throat. 

 

Instead, the hand holding the knife shakes, and all of a sudden it moves quickly. 

 

Jared braces himself for impact, but it doesn’t come. 

 

The knife’s wedged into the desk and Evan’s backing away. 

 

Jared turns to look at him and it’s like he’s looking at a whole different person. 

 

“You have to get her out of the country,” says Evan, and he’s pale and he’s shaking and Jared’s hit with the realization that this is the real Evan, that he’s managed to fight off whatever’s happening to him somehow. “Don’t go back to Switzerland. He has people in Switzerland.”

 

“Who’s he?” Jared demands. 

 

“I…”

 

Then Evan starts to laugh. Stops shaking. Smirks at Jared like this is all some kind of dumb joke. “I have to say, I was not expecting that,” says whoever’s wearing Evan’s body. “Guess Evan really doesn’t want you dead, for some reason.” He rolls his eyes. “Not sure why. All his memories point to the two of you having a bit of a rocky past. You haven’t talked in years.” 

 

Jared’s reaching toward his bag to get his phone while “Evan” talks, as slowly as he can so as not to attract his notice. If he can just call someone, they can stop this. 

 

They can stop whoever’s hijacked Evan. 

 

“Evan, I know you’re in there,” says Jared, realizing his voice sounds a little desperate but not caring. “You did it once, you can do it again. Don’t let this asshole win.”

 

“Evan” scowls, then pulls the knife out of the table and hits Jared in the head. Hard. “Just for that, I’m going to kill you slowly.”

 

It all happens slowly but all at once. A knife in his gut, twisting and turning. Duct tape across his mouth and around his wrists so he can’t scream, can’t move. And then he’s kicked underneath the desk, then kicked in the head again, and all Jared can think of as he fades into unconsciousness is that he can’t protect Gaelle, he can’t warn anyone, he can’t stop whoever this is and…

 

* * *

Connor wakes up to something licking his face.

 

It takes him a moment to get his bearings. He’s at home, and he’s still kind of high, but… Pampushka’s there?

 

He sits up, and Pampushka whines softly, and Connor realizes that Gus is sitting next to him in bed, staring into nothing. 

 

“Gus?” 

 

“I did not mean to wake you,” Gus says, and Connor can tell immediately that he’s been crying. “I am… I do not think I should be alone right now, so I will stay here for a few days, okay?”

 

“What happened?” 

 

Gus sniffs, and wipes his face. “Steve and I… we take some time apart.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

Gus’s face crumbles. “He is… he finds out about my past. About the clones I killed. And he needs time to… understand.” 

 

Connor tries to piece it all together. “What? How?” 

 

Gus shrugs, and starts crying in earnest, and Connor pulls his brother into a hug and Gus’s sobs just get more and more heartbreaking the more they continue. 

 

“Gus, I’m so sorry,” Connor murmurs, rubbing his twin’s back. “You’re going to be okay. It’s going to be okay.”

 

“He is right to want time,” Gus says between sobs which are sounding more like hiccups now, and Connor’s afraid Gus is going to make himself throw up. “It is a thing that needs time. And he has… a daughter, he must protect her… I would never hurt her, Connor, I would never harm the innocent.”

 

“I know you wouldn’t,” Connor assures him. “That’s not you anymore.”

 

Gus shakes his head furiously. “What if you are right? That people do not change?”

 

Connor blinks. “What?”

 

“It is what you say to me, some days ago, and it stays with me.” Gus pulls away from Connor and wipes his face. “What if I do not change? What if he is right to fear me? To keep me away from his child?”

 

“I was wrong,” Connor insists. “You’re a good person, Gus. One of the best. You’re not that person anymore, and even when you were it wasn’t your fault. The Proletheans made you a weapon. All we did was… help you find yourself. Who you really are.”

 

The two of them sit on the bed for a long time. Connor’s dimly aware of the front door opening, and maybe another door, and the sound of the shower running, but focuses on Gus. 

 

Connor hasn’t seen him this upset in a very long time. 

 

He must really care about Steve. 

 

Connor wonders how Steve found out 

 

Maybe Evan’s right. Maybe Steve is a plant. 

 

“Gus? Hey, is everything alright?” 

 

Evan’s standing in the doorway of the bedroom in a towel, hair wet. 

 

Gus looks at him and reddens slightly. “I am sorry. I did not-”

 

“Steve and Gus are taking a break,” Connor says, so Gus doesn’t have to. “Gus is going to stay here for a bit, okay?”

 

Evan looks at them both, then nods. “Yeah, that’s fine. That’s, uh, that’s perfect, actually. We can go to the lake house. Now, actually. Let me put on some clothes and we’ll go.”

 

Gus frowns. “The lake house?”

 

“Evan thinks we should get away from everything that’s going on,” Connor says gently. “I think that’s a good idea, don’t you?”

 

Gus looks at Evan, then at Connor, then nods. “Okay. No, this is good. We will go to lake house.”

 

It’s a rush of activity from then on. It’s barely fifteen minutes later that they’re on the road. 

 


	38. THIRTY-SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Road trip.

“We should watch more autopsies. This is so fucking cool.”

 

“Normally I’d agree with you,” Dr. Harkness says to Agent Brewer, “but I’m currently drilling into the head of someone I worked with, so… not quite as cool for me. A+ for enthusiasm, though.”

 

Hannah’s busy looking at the scans of Sarah Parkinson’s brain, compared to the scans of Ross Black and Cameron Rossini. “It’s not here,” she announces. 

 

Dr. Harkness puts down the drill and looks at Hannah quizzically. “What do you mean, it’s not here?”

 

“Well, look,” Hannah says, showing the three scans. “That mark there on Ross and Cameron? It’s not there on Sarah. Also… okay, so I can’t be sure, but there’s something weird about the scans with the mark. I… I think someone added them in after taking them.”

 

“You’re saying the whole mind control chip thing was faked?” asks Agent Fence, and it’s strange to see such a neutral expression on a face Hannah knows so well. 

 

“Pretty sure we’re sticking with mind control as a theory here,” Dr. Harkness says firmly. “I know Sarah. She wouldn’t hurt a fly. And she definitely wouldn’t kill Hannah.”

 

“We’ve worked together,” Hannah says. “She bought me frozen yogurt.”

 

Brewer rolls her eyes. “Oh, well if she bought you _frozen yogurt-”_

 

“So are you two boning down or what?” Dr. Harkness asks Brewer and Fence, point blank. 

 

From across the room, Zoe nearly chokes trying not to laugh. 

 

“That’s irrelevant to the case,” says Fence, and if Hannah didn’t know the Phanes face so well, she might not have noticed the way his ears turned slightly pink. 

 

“And very unprofessional,” says Brewer, who’s more visually flustered. 

 

“Oh, come on,” says Dr. Harkness as she picks up the drill. “Two attractive people working in law enforcement. I’ve seen the TV shows.”

 

“Well, as long as you’ve noticed how attractive I am,” Brewer says sarcastically. 

 

“Seriously, though,” says Dr. Harkness, winking at Agent Fence. “Brewer, you should be getting all up on that. He’s hot. Isn’t he, Hannah?” 

 

Hannah shrugs. “I’m a lesbian. Not my area.”

 

“Zoe?”

 

“Gross,” she replies from across the room. “He looks like my brothers.”

 

“Security guards?” 

 

They all look at the security guards, one who is shrugging and one who is nodding. 

 

“So that’s a yes from Kent and apathy from Damian,” Zoe notes.

 

“Can we please get back on task?” Agent Fence says. “What I’m getting is that we’re at square one when it comes to finding where this mind control device is.”

 

“We’ll keep looking,” says Dr. Harkness firmly. “I’m going to find this, trust me.”

 

“And how long is it going to take?”

 

“As long as it takes.”

 

Hannah turns to Agent Fence. “Is there anything you can tell us about the three subjects? Something that ties them together, perhaps? It might give us some kind of an idea.”

 

Brewer goes through her files. “Honestly, we’ve checked everything. Ross Black, Cameron Rossini, and Sarah Parkinson have nothing in common except the same dentist.”

 

Hannah stops. “Did you say the same dentist?”

 

“Yeah, why?”

 

“Teeth,” Hannah blurts out immediately. She looks at Dr. Harkness pointedly. “What if the devices are in their teeth?” 

 

The room is quiet for a long moment. 

 

“That is beyond creepy,” says Zoe, clearly weirded out. 

 

Dr. Harkness is already opening Sarah Parkinson’s mouth to check. It takes her a few moments, but soon there’s a bloody tooth on the table, cracked in half to reveal what looks like a microchip. 

 

But nothing like any microchip Hannah’s ever seen before. 

 

It almost looks… alive. 

 

Agent Fence leans in to have a look and immediately backs away. “Okay, that is disgusting.”

 

“Is it… moving?”

 

“I think so,” says Dr. Harkness, clearly fascinated. “I think it’s generating its own power source.” 

 

“Can we track it?” asks Agent Brewer, who’s equally as fascinated as Dr. Harkness.

 

“Maybe,” says Dr. Harkness. 

 

Zoe has moved from her spot across the room to stand next to Hannah and has taken Hannah’s arm. “Babe, if the microchip in the brain scans were faked, then that means that it’s possible Evan’s got one of these in his teeth. We have to get him here as soon as we can so we can be sure.”

 

Hannah’s blood runs cold. “Do you know where he is now?”

 

Zoe shakes her head. “I texted him a few times after he left but he hasn’t been replying.” She picks up her phone. “I’ll call him now.”

 

She moves toward the corner to get some space and Hannah looks at the microchip more closely. It’s circular, like a disc, and is still steadily pulsating.

 

“We should check the other bodies,” says Hannah decisively. She looks at Agent Brewer. “Could you organize that?”

 

“I’m on it,” she says, picking up her phone and heading into the hallway.

 

Agent Fence moves closer to have a good look at it. “It’s strange that something so tiny can have such a big impact.”

 

Hannah’s not sure what to say, but she’s spared having to answer by Fence’s phone ringing. He also heads out to take the call, excusing himself politely as he goes.

 

“How are you holding up?” Dr. Harkness asks, looking at Hannah intently. 

 

“I’m fine,” Hannah insists. 

 

Dr. Harkness doesn’t look so sure. In all honesty, Hannah can’t blame her - she feels like shit. Her leg hurts, her ribs hurt, her head hurts - everything’s just a blur of dull pain, and she’s struggling to keep focused, but this is important. This is potentially life or death. 

 

There’s no time for stupid things like injuries to get in the way. 

 

Zoe comes back in, her expression troubled. “Evan’s not answering his phone. Connor’s is going straight to voicemail.” She rolls her eyes. “Honestly, it’s 2027, I have no idea why we even have voicemail anymore.”

 

Brewer’s the next one back. “We’re getting some teeth!” she announced cheerfully. “Should be here in the next hour, then we can crack them open and see if there are any more creepy goodies inside.” She looks around the room, looking a little sheepish. “Sorry, I realize the enthusiasm is a bit much. It’s just… this is so  _ weird, _ right? So weird. So cool, but so weird.”

 

“I’m glad you’re having a good time,” says Fence as he walks in, frowning slightly. “But we have to go to ERAS. There’s been an attack. One of their employees was found stabbed under their desk.” 

 

Hannah’s heart nearly stops. 

 

ERAS is on a skeleton staff right now. 

 

The chances of it being someone she cares about are very high. 

 

“Who is it?” Zoe demands, her face pale.

 

“Jared Kleinman.”

 

Zoe looks taken aback, and more than slightly confused. “Wait, what? Since when… I didn’t even know he was part of ERAS, let alone here. Last I heard he was in Switzerland.”

 

“Reed mentioned Jared,” Hannah remembers. “In one of their visits. He’s helping with the IT stuff.”

 

“I knew him in high school,” Zoe says, looking at Hannah. “Last time I saw him was at graduation, where I tore him a new one for being such an asshole to Evan.” She frowns. “They were ‘family friends’ or some bullshit and he was always just so awful to him.” 

 

“He’s the one who found Yorick in Argentina,” Hannah says, slowly starting to piece it together. “He called Evan, and… well…” 

 

“Yorick Bateman?” Fence asks, his voice sharp. “He was the one DYAD were experimenting on to find the cure. The one whose head was sliced open.” He looks at Brewer. “I remember seeing that in the news. It was… jarring, to say the least.”

 

“It must have been,” Brewer says, her voice softening. She looks at Hannah intently. “Are you saying that Evan’s responsible for what happened to Yorick?”

 

“No,” Hannah says shortly. “I’m saying that DYAD’s responsible for what happened to Yorick. Jared met Yorick in Argentina, freaked out that he looked so much like Connor who he went to school with and thought had killed himself and skyped Evan to let him know. Then he mentioned Yorick was having bad headaches, which was one of the main symptoms of the clone disease we were trying to cure. Evan insisted they come to Boston so he could help Yorick, but DYAD decided a clone who was a traveler with very few roots would make an excellent test subject.” 

 

She looks at Brewer and Fence. Brewer’s still looking a little skeptical, and Fence is stony-faced as usual. “Evan was the one who took the photo,” Hannah continues. “Who helped expose this to the world. He nearly got killed taking DYAD down back in 2021. So if you’re thinking that Evan didn’t need to be mind controlled to be sabotaging ERAS, you’d be wrong. Very, very wrong.”

 

“That doesn’t mean he’s not being mind controlled now,” Zoe points out, her voice full of fear. “Poor Evan, oh my god.”

 

“We should head to ERAS,” Fence says to Brewer. “See if we can find out anything about who attacked Jared. He’s not in any shape to be able to tell us.”

 

“Is he alive?” Hannah asks. 

 

Fence frowns. “Barely. Whoever attacked him… it was brutal. Vicious and brutal.” 

 

“That’s not Evan,” Zoe says immediately. “That’s not him.” She sighs. “But if he’s being mind controlled, it could be.” 

 

Hannah’s head is starting to spin. It’s a lot to take in and her head hurts and she hurts all over and she closes her eyes for a minute, only to be hit with intense vertigo. 

 

“Hannah?” Zoe says, her voice insistent. “Hannah, hey, let’s get you back to bed.”

 

“I want to help,” she protests weakly.

 

“You’ve done great,” Dr. Harkness says, her voice soothing. “You’ve done amazingly. Now you need to rest. Rest and heal.”

 

Hannah’s too tired to argue when Zoe starts pushing her wheelchair back to the elevator.

 

* * *

Evan drives less carefully than Gus remembers. He is focused on the road, not paying much attention to anything but driving, but he is faster than he should be and does not always get the rules right.

 

It is strange, Gus thinks. 

 

Very strange. 

 

Connor is in the front seat, and he is asleep. He is spending much time asleep, Gus thinks, and this is also strange. 

 

Gus feels worn out from crying, from thinking about Steve and his reaction. It is making him tired, also, but there is a voice in the back of his head that says it is important that he does not sleep now. 

 

It is important that he stay alert. 

 

Pampushka is curled up in the backseat next to him and he strokes her fur to try to feel more calm. The day is a whirlwind, many things happening at once, and he must stay calm and focus and not think about Steve. 

 

It is hard not to think about Steve. 

 

Gus can understand why Steve must be cautious. He has Penny, and Penny is the most important to him, and he will do what he needs to do to keep her safe. 

 

It hurts, very much, to know that Steve does not trust him not to hurt his daughter. 

 

It hurts to remember the killer he once was. 

 

Gus knows, somewhere deep inside him, that he would not have kept his past a secret from Steve forever. That Steve is important. Very important. And for them to be happy and healthy, he must know all of them. 

 

But it was not the time. 

 

Now was not the time. 

 

He is angry that the chance to break the news more gently has been taken from him. 

 

He still does not know who tells Steve this, and a part of him does not want to know. 

 

The other part is very, very curious. 

 

And also angry. 

 

They have been driving for many hours without stopping. Gus can see that Evan is gripping the steering wheel of the car very tight. His hands are white. 

 

Gus is not sure why. 

 

“Would you like me to drive for some time?” Gus asks finally. 

 

“I’m fine,” Evan replies, and he does not sound pleased. 

 

Gus frowns. “Evan, are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine,” he says again, still not sounding pleased. 

 

“Okay,” Gus replies. He is quiet for a while. “I do not mean to annoy, it is just that you do not seem fine. You seem quite on edge, and we are leaving in a hurry, and I-”

 

The car swerves off the road and stops. Evan is gripping the steering wheel so tight Gus is afraid he will hurt himself. He takes in a shaky breath. 

 

“Gus. Gus, you need to kill me.”

 

A chill goes through Gus’s body. “Evan. What is wrong?”

 

“I’m not… I’m not in control, I can’t stop him for long, he wants to take both of you and I can’t… you need to kill me and you need to go home and warn them-”

 

“Evan, you are not making sense.”

 

Gus can hear Evan start to cry. He grips the steering wheel tighter and tighter. 

 

Connor stirs from the front seat. “Are we there?” he asks, his voice full of sleep. “What’s happening?”

 

Evan turns to Connor. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, so sorry. I love you so much and I…”

 

He trails off, and then he laughs. And it is a cold laugh. “I need to stop underestimating this guy,” says Evan, and he starts the car and moves back onto the road and is driving faster and faster and faster. 

 

“Evan, what’s going on?” Connor asks, and Gus can hear the panic in his voice, and Evan is driving faster and faster and faster and Pampushka is barking and Gus knows something very bad is about to happen. 

 

The car keeps going faster and faster until suddenly, it swerves into a very large tree. 

 

Gus feels his body flying forward.

 

Then all is black. 


	39. THIRTY-EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promises, promises.

Charles isn’t going to forget the sight of Jared, duct-taped silent and near death underneath his desk in the new ERAS office anytime soon. 

 

It’s basically burned into his retinas at this point. 

 

He was the one to find him and call the ambulance. It’s all kind of a blur but he remembers feeling for a pulse and noticing how weak it was. 

 

Noticing how cold he was. 

 

Now Charles is sitting in the waiting room with Tina, Lili, Miranda and Gaelle. Gaelle hasn’t stopped crying since she found out about Jared, and it’s absolutely heartbreaking. 

 

Lili’s a mess. A proper mess. Charles can tell she’s trying to hold it together for her daughter, but she’s struggling. Every couple of moments, she bursts into tears again and holds Gaelle tighter and Charles is struggling not to cry as well because he’s never felt quite this helpless. 

 

He was the one who brought them here. 

 

He asked them for help, and they came all the way from Switzerland, and now Jared’s in intensive care and the doctors don’t know if he’s going to make it, and…

 

Gaelle tugs on Charles’s arms insistently. 

 

“The scary one is happy,” she says, and it’s hard to hear her through her tears. “The scary one is very happy, and the twins are scared. More scared than before. I think something very very bad is happened.” 

 

At that, Gaelle climbs into his lap and wraps his arms around his neck and bursts into fresh tears. Charles pulls her into a hug and tries to figure out what she’s just told him. 

 

Gus and Connor. 

 

Something’s happened to Gus and Connor. 

 

He looks at Tina, who’s gone white. “I’ll call Evan,” she says, and heads off down the hallway for some privacy. 

 

Gaelle is warm on Charles’s lap and he’s hit by an intense feeling of protectiveness. This is his niece. More than his niece - she shares his biology, his DNA. Even though he’s not her parent, she’s still a part of him, somehow. 

 

A part of all of them. 

 

“We’re not going to let anything bad happen to you,” Charles promises Gaelle fiercely. “All of your uncles are going to keep you safe.”

 

“Reed’s not an uncle,” Gaelle points out. She looks perplexed for a moment. “What do I call them?”

 

Charles actually has no idea. “We’ll have to ask them when they come back, okay? But they’re going to help keep you safe, too.”

 

He can hear footsteps coming toward them, and immediately looks for the source of the noise. He sees Heidi approaching, looking more than a little scared. As soon as she spots Charles, she practically runs toward them. 

 

“Jared’s mom called me,” she says as she gets within earshot. “His parents are on their way, but they’ll be a couple of hours off. Rebecca asked me to come to the hospital and find out what’s happening if I can.” 

 

“Of course,” Charles says, almost to himself. “You know Jared.” 

 

“Known him since he was a kid,” Heidi says, with a sad smile. “Is he going to be okay?” 

 

“They do not know,” says Lili, her voice quiet. “They cannot tell us yet.”

 

Heidi takes in the group, then gets down to Gaelle’s level and focuses her attention on the child. “I’m Heidi,” she says, her voice warm. “I knew Jared when he was about as big as you.”

 

Gaelle looks from Charles, to Lili, back to Heidi. “Did he eat broccoli when he was as big as me?” she asks. 

 

Heidi laughs. “He did everything he could to avoid eating broccoli, that much I can tell you.” She looks toward Lili and Miranda, who seem to be trying to figure out who exactly she is. “I’m Evan’s mom,” she explains. 

 

“Tina’s trying to get hold of Evan now,” Charles says. “We’re worried about Gus and Connor.”

 

“Gus and Connor?” Heidi repeats, looking concerned. “Evan texted me a few hours ago. He’s taking Gus and Connor to the lake house to get away from… all of this. He thinks it’ll keep them safe.”

 

Charles frowns. “He didn’t say anything when he stopped by ERAS earlier.”

 

Lili looks at Charles and frowns. “You did not say you saw Evan at ERAS,” she says accusingly. “Is this before you find Jared?”

 

“About an hour before,” Charles clarifies. He frowns. “Surely Evan didn’t have anything to do with what happened to Jared.”

 

“Beanpole?”

 

Charles looks to see Zoe approaching, her face pale. “Agent Fence said Jared was attacked,” she says as she gets closer. “I figured he’d have been taken here, so I figured I’d check in before I go home. Is everyone alright?” 

 

“The twins are not safe,” Gaelle says insistently. “I know this.”

 

Zoe freezes. She kneels down to Gaelle’s level and looks at her intently. “Can you tell me what you mean?” she asks. “What do you mean when you say the twins aren’t safe?”

 

Gaelle looks very sad. “I know they are not safe, but I cannot say more. I feel it.”

 

Zoe frowns, then looks at Charles. “What… what does she mean?”

 

Lili’s the one to speak. “My daughter,” she begins, “we think she has… a gift. She can feel clone feelings sometimes. She feels that the twins are scared, and she is very worried.”

 

Zoe just stares for a moment. “How is that even possible?”

 

Lili looks around to make sure they’re not being listened to, then stands up and moves closer to Zoe. “She is the child of a clone. The child of Yorick. And of me.” She frowns. “But this must be a secret. Neolution would want to know, and would want to find out more. We must keep her safe.”

 

Zoe looks absolutely overwhelmed. She looks around the group for a moment, as if she’s looking for someone to tell her she’s being pranked, but no one’s laughing. 

 

It’s at that moment that Tina comes back. “Evan’s not answering his phone,” she says urgently. “Neither is Gus, neither is Connor.”

 

“Evan didn’t answer my calls, either,” Zoe says, her eyes widening. “We need to talk to him. We need to check his teeth.”

 

Heidi looks alarmed and confused. “Why on earth are we worrying about my son’s dental health right now?”

 

“Because the mind control thing isn’t in his brain,” Zoe says in a rush. “Someone at the morgue faked those scans, we think. But it could be in his tooth. Because that’s where we found the others.”

 

Charles’s heart starts to pound abnormally fast. “So we don’t know for sure Evan’s not being mind controlled?” he says, as his chest starts to hurt from a jolt of fear right between his ribs. 

 

“We don’t,” Zoe confirms. “And if he’s not answering his phone and this kid is worried about Gus and Connor and they’re not answering either…”

 

“Evan’s taking Gus and Connor to the lake house,” Heidi says, and she’s gone so pale it’s scary. “But if he’s not really Evan…”

 

“And he was at ERAS,” Lili says insistently. “Very few people are at ERAS. If he is there, then maybe it is he who hurts my… who hurts Jared.”

 

Lili’s visibly shaking now. Gaelle climbs off Charles’s lap and reaches up to her mother, who leans down and pulls her into a hug. They sit down, right on the floor of the hospital, and Gaelle looks like she wants to cry again but is trying to stay strong for her mum, which is possibly the saddest thing Charles has seen in a long time. 

 

Lili and Gaelle Beaufort are strong women. Strong enough to keep on going and survive, even if the worst happens and Jared doesn’t make it. Charles remembers a conversation with Jared, a few years ago, after Jared and Lili had a disagreement about something Charles can’t even remember. 

 

“What am I even doing here?” Jared had asked then, a little desperately. “They don’t need me. Lili’s more than capable of being a single parent. Hell, she’s way better at it than me. They don’t… they don’t need me, it’s not like I’m swooping in and rescuing the poor damsels in distress or whatever.” He’d laughed then, more of a snort than a laugh. “Lili’s about as much a damsel in distress as you are.”

 

“Maybe they don’t need you,” Charles had said thoughtfully, “but I see how happy you all are. They don’t need you, but that’s even better. Because they want you here.”

 

He’d thought then, and he thinks now, that Jared doesn’t realize just how happy he makes Gaelle. How happy he makes Lili. How even though he and Lili refuse to admit that there’s more than friendship between them, it’s obvious how much they care about each other. 

 

It’s obvious, seeing Lili and Gaelle clinging to each other on the floor of the hospital, just how much they care about Jared. 

 

“Evan wouldn’t hurt anyone,” Heidi insists, and Charles didn’t think it was possible for her to get any paler but she has. 

 

“No, he wouldn’t,” Zoe agrees. “But Neolution would.”

 

* * *

Connor comes to with a screaming headache, feeling sick to his stomach.

 

It’s not exactly an unfamiliar feeling these days, so it takes a few moments to figure out what’s going on. 

 

He looks around, and he’s in a dimly lit room, lying on what looks like a prison cot. His head is pounding and he’s absolutely sure he’s going to throw up, so he gets up and stumbles to where he can see an open door and a bathroom. 

 

Connor vomits for fuck knows how long, then drinks some water from the faucet and looks around. 

 

Aside from a toilet, a sink, and a towel, there’s not much in here. 

 

He goes back into the main room to see there’s the bed he woke up on and nothing else. He moves toward the door to see if he can get it open and figure out where the hell he is. 

 

Connor’s not surprised when he can’t, but he bangs on the door and screams as loud as he can anyway, trying to get someone’s attention so they can explain what the fuck is going on. 

 

He remembers Gus showing up at his apartment, Evan coming home, then getting in the car and heading to the lake house. 

 

This clearly isn’t the fucking lake house. 

 

Connor sits on the bed and tries to piece it all together. Everything’s blurry and fragmented, and his head really fucking hurts, and he’s grasping at his memories, trying to make sense of it all. 

 

He slept in the car. 

 

Evan was driving. 

 

Evan was crying and saying he was sorry. 

 

Evan swerved into a tree? 

 

There was a car crash. He was in a car crash? 

 

He runs his hands through his hair and feels a sharp sting. Feels around a bit more. Pulls something out of his scalp. Looks at it in his hand. 

 

Glass. 

 

Broken glass. 

 

Okay, then. Car crash. 

 

Where’s Evan? Where’s Gus?

 

Why is he in what’s essentially a prison cell? 

 

It comes to him in bits. 

 

Neolution. 

 

Has to be Neolution. 

 

They must have separated him and Gus and Evan, which makes sense he supposes, but really fucking sucks because he doesn’t know if they’re okay, he doesn’t know what’s happening to them. 

 

Especially after a car crash. 

 

Connor checks himself for injuries but aside from pulling more and more glass out of his scalp, he’s in pretty good shape. 

 

The healing’s kicked in, he’s sure of it. Any injuries he sustained just disappeared thanks to some weird quirk in his genetics. 

 

Which means Gus is probably fine, too. 

 

But Evan…

 

He doesn’t have healing abilities. He doesn’t have any of that. 

 

He might not have made it. 

 

Connor yells and screams as loud as he can, banging on the door of the room for what feels like hours. 

 

He doesn’t remember passing out, but when he wakes, he’s curled up by the door and feeling worse than ever. 

 

He moves to the bed. 

 

He closes his eyes. 

 

When he wakes up again, it’s even darker and he stumbles to the bathroom and vomits for what feels like a very long time. He drinks some water from the faucet again, then washes his face the best he can and goes back to the bed and just… curls up and tries not to focus on how much he feels like absolute shit. 

 

There’s a noise, and Connor sits up to try to place it, and dimly notices that someone’s pushed a tray with food on it through a slot by the door. 

 

He can’t even muster up the energy to yell or to eat, even if he trusted whatever they've given him. 

 

He lies down and falls asleep again. 

 

The next time he wakes up, it’s brighter. He doesn’t know how much time has passed, but he knows he’s going to be sick again. 

 

He spends a long time in the bathroom. 

 

When he finally finishes, he walks shakily back into the main room to see Evan sitting on the edge of the bed. 

 

And his heart nearly stops. 

 

Evan looks bad. Really bad. There’s a huge bandage over one of his eyes, he’s got his arm in a sling and he’s covered in bruises. 

 

And he’s smiling, but it doesn’t look right. 

 

“Evan?” he asks, not trusting his own eyes. 

 

There’s something not right. 

 

This is not right. 

 

“Not exactly,” says the man sitting on the bed, his voice matter-of-fact. “I’m just borrowing him for a while. Don’t worry, it won’t be much longer.”

 

“What the fuck does that mean?”

 

“Evan” stands up. “It means,” he begins, with a smirk that’s so not Evan it sends chills through Connor’s body, “that I’ve been taking your fiance’s body for a joyride this past week or so. And let me tell you, has he put up a fight.” The man almost looks impressed. “I mean, seriously. I’ve done this dozens of times and this has to be one of the most stubborn hosts I’ve had to deal with. Before we could even let him out of the lab, we went through three upgrades on the Critter, and even then it still all came crashing down.”

 

“The Critter?” Connor repeats weakly. 

 

This isn’t making sense. This is… this is completely insane. 

 

They were right. They were right that there was some kind of mind control going on, but they didn’t know how intense it was. 

 

There is something else or someone else controlling Evan’s body. 

 

“It’s what I call it,” the man continues, almost cheerfully. “The technology we use to make this all possible. It’s not just metal and wires, you see, it’s pretty sophisticated biotech. Almost has a mind of its own. Almost, but not quite. So I call it the Critter. A cute little thingymajig that lives in your teeth and controls your brain.” 

 

“What’s it all for?” Connor asks. “And why Evan?”

 

“Evan” laughs. “I wanted to know what was so special about you and your twin,” he says, his voice smug. “I knew there was  _ something,  _ but I could never get close enough to figure it out. So I waited and when the opportunity presented itself, I took it.” He gestures up and down the body he’s wearing. “This body is what I needed, and I intend to get as much mileage out of it as I can. For as long as I can.” 

 

Something’s niggling at Connor. “You said it wouldn’t be much longer. What did you mean?”

 

Evan’s lips - lips Connor knows so well - curl into a cruel smile. “The human brain can only withstand so much,” he says conversationally. “It’ll crack soon. I’ve seen it happen before.” He taps on his forehead gently. “Up here? Your boy is screaming. He is screaming and yelling and crying and begging and fighting and that takes energy. And it’s a finite source. Now, I can pilot a body with a broken brain for a little while, but eventually, it just gets too hard. So I’ll be looking for a new one soon. And I’ve got the perfect one in mind.”

 

“No,” Connor says firmly. “No, you’re not fucking getting anywhere near me. Get the fuck out of Evan’s head or I’ll…”

 

It hits him that he can’t do anything. 

 

He can’t rip this asshole to shreds because he’d be fighting  _ Evan, _ and that’s not something he can do. 

 

“You’ll what?” “Evan” laughs. “You’re in no position to bargain. At any rate, I don’t want you. I’ve got better things to do with my time than wrestle with a junkie's brain.” His eyes light up. “Good thing you come with a better half who’s got all sorts of fun things. Who could kill someone with his pinky finger if he wanted. Who’s a trained assassin with healing abilities.”

 

Connor’s heart stops. He’s sure it’s stopped. 

 

Gus. 

 

This asshole wants Gus. 

 

Something on Evan’s face shifts and there’s a look of horror and desperation and Connor knows, just  _ knows _ that it’s really Evan, it’s Evan breaking through and he’s practically screaming.  

 

“You can’t do that to him, you can’t make him-”

 

Then Evan’s mouth closes abruptly. 

 

His expression evens out and his eyes flash with anger, but he laughs a little, like he’s trying to make it look like it doesn’t matter. “See what I mean about him being a fighter?”

 

“Evan,” Connor says desperately. “Evan, I know you’re in there and I promise, it’s going to be okay.  We have people who care. They’ll be out there looking for us. They’ll figure out a way to stop this, to get you free, and it’s going to be okay, I promise.”

 

Evan’s face breaks into a cruel caricature of sympathy. “Oh Connor,” he says with an exaggerated sigh, “what makes you think you’re in any position to make those kinds of promises?”


	40. THIRTY-NINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In case of emergency.

Gus opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings. 

 

His whole body is tense. It has been many years since he has woken up to danger, but his muscles still remember. 

 

The last thing he remembers is the car crash, and now he is in a room that is strange and unfamiliar. 

 

He remembers Evan driving into the tree. 

 

He remembers that Evan was not really Evan.

 

Wherever he is, whatever has happened, it is important that he get out of this room and find out more. 

 

Find out where Connor is. Where Pampushka is. 

 

Figure out how to make Evan himself again. 

 

Gus looks around the room takes it all in. There are two doors. One is shut, one is open. The one that is open goes to a bathroom. 

 

The one that is shut is probably locked. 

 

He goes to check and finds he is correct. 

 

Gus looks through his pockets to see if he has anything he can use to get the door unlocked. He knows how to pick locks, but he will need something like a bobby pin. 

 

Sometimes he has bobby pins in his pocket, but not today. 

 

This is unfortunate, but it does not mean that all is lost. 

 

He looks at the bed. It is small and the mattress is too firm. He takes off the mattress to check if there is anything he can use in the frame, but all is smooth and there is no metal for him to break off. 

 

Gus checks the bathroom. Maybe there is something there. 

 

He searches high and low, but all is smooth and there is nothing he can break off to use. In the main room, there is very little. He cannot even get into the light fixture, because all is smooth. 

 

Gus takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. 

 

Panic does not help. 

 

He must be smart. 

 

Maybe he will have to wait, but that is okay. When he is small, there are many times where Tatiana would leave him alone for long lengths of time, and he would have to wait. 

 

He can be patient when he needs to be. 

 

Gus sits on the bed and tries to think about what he knows. 

 

He knows that Evan is not Evan. That there is talk of Neolution using mind control devices. This means that it is Neolution who is keeping him here, and they are controlling Evan. 

 

He also knows that sometimes, Evan can break through and regain control. This means that Evan is still Evan, deep down inside him, and that it is possible he can be saved. 

 

He knows that Dad and Heidi think he and Connor are with Evan, and do not know that Evan is not Evan. He knows that Steve is needing space, so Steve will not notice he is gone.  This means it may be some time before anyone knows Gus and Connor are missing. 

 

Gus thinks that Connor is here somewhere, also. It was smart of Neolution to separate them. 

 

He does not know what they have done to Pampushka. 

 

It is very strange, not to have her here, and he finds that it distracts him somewhat. Over the years, he has become used to always having her companionship, to never being alone. 

 

But just because he has become used to having companionship does not mean that he does not remember what it is like to be alone and to only have himself to rely on. 

 

If Neolution has done anything bad to his dog, he will tear it down with his bare hands. 

 

It takes some time for anything to change. Gus sits on the bed and waits as patiently as he can. 

 

He thinks about Evan, and how he must be very afraid right now. If Gus is understanding correctly, then Evan has not been himself since his return. This means that on his return, he sees people he loves but cannot talk to them, cannot tell them that something truly horrifying has happened to him. 

 

That he is trapped, and no one knows. 

 

That everyone is thinking that everything is fine but inside his head, he is screaming and no one hears. 

 

Gus does not wish this on anyone, much less his friend who is almost like a brother. 

 

After what feels like many hours, there is a noise, and Gus stands up immediately. He sees that someone puts a tray of food under the door. 

 

He goes to investigate. There is a sandwich, and also some juice, and the juice is in a sealed container so Gus thinks it is okay to drink. Since he will need energy, he drinks it. 

 

He does not touch the sandwich. He does not trust it. 

 

After he has had the juice, he goes back to the bed and lies down for some time. He thinks perhaps he sleeps, but not fully. 

 

The expression “sleep with one eye open” is a strange one, but Gus thinks that this is what is happening now. 

 

When he wakes up, it is to the sound of the door opening. Gus sits up immediately and goes to move when he realizes that it is “Evan”, standing at the door. 

 

He has shut it behind him. 

 

Gus considers his options. 

 

Before he can do anything, “Evan” pulls out a tazer. “I know that Connor wouldn’t attack me,” he says, his voice calm. “But I’m still not sure about you.”

 

“I know you are not Evan,” Gus replies, and he keeps his voice calm to match “Evan”. “What then do I call you?”

 

He looks surprised, but he answers. “My name is Adam.”

 

“Adam,” Gus repeats. “The first man.”

 

Adam’s eyes flash with an emotion Gus does not understand. “Yes,” he replies after a moment. “Exactly.” 

 

“You do not need to use Evan like this now,” Gus says, as calmly as he can. “You use him as deception, but now I know it is you. Come back with your own face. We will talk then.”

 

“You already know my real face,” Adam says. “It’s just like yours.”

 

Another clone, then. 

 

For some reason, Gus is not surprised. 

 

“Then why not show me?” Gus asks, interested in the reply he will get. “Why continue to use my friend? Is it that you want to scare me? I do not fear you.” 

 

“No,” says Adam, tilting his head. “No, I think you do. You see me controlling Evan and you’re afraid. The idea of losing control terrifies you.” 

 

“Loss of control gives fear to many people,” Gus points out. “I am not so different.”

 

“Yes, well.” 

 

Adam looks tired, and Gus takes in the injuries. A bandage over an eye. Arm in a sling. Many bruises. 

 

“You do not look so good,” Gus says matter-of-factly. “You feel his pain, yes? Even though it is not your body, you feel the pain. Maybe you should have thought of this before you crash the car.” 

 

“I knew you and Connor would be fine,” Adam replies, and he seems to be annoyed now. “I don’t care what happens to this body. It’s collateral damage.”

 

“That body is my friend,” Gus snaps. “A friend who is like a brother to me.”

 

Adam smiles. It is not a nice smile. “You’re all connected. It’s interesting. You and your fellow clones, and so many others besides. You make up a family unit. It’s… cute, I guess. Clone Club. I can see Evan’s memories, you know. Summer vacations at the lake house. Tacos with his mom. Birthdays and weddings and proposals and engagement parties and graduations… lives lived together.” 

 

“You have never had this,” Gus guesses. “But it is something you want.”

 

Adam’s smile drops. “Beside the point. It’s intriguing, more than anything else. Connor seems to think that someone will come running and save all three of you.” His smile returns, and it is even colder. “I wouldn’t count on it.”

 

“Are you here for a chat, or is there something you want from me?” Gus asks bluntly. “Or shall I kill you now, right where you stand?”

 

Adam’s hand grips the tazer more tight, and Gus almost laughs. 

 

It is funny, that he thinks the tazer is what stops him. 

 

What stops him is that it is his friend in there. 

 

“Kill me and you kill Evan.”

 

Gus meets his eye and stares intently. “He asked me to kill him. Don’t you remember?”

 

Adam laughs. “You would not.”

 

“Not now,” Gus admits. “Not until there is no other option.” 

 

“I’ll be out of his brain soon, don’t worry,” says Adam, and there is a satisfied smirk on Evan’s face, and it is very jarring to see. “Once we get all the kinks from this version of the Critter worked out, I’ll be jumping ship. Into you, August.”

 

There is a part of Gus that saw this coming. 

 

It makes sense. He is trained to kill. He can heal. He is strong. 

 

He is the perfect weapon. 

 

It does not mean it does not give him fear. 

 

Deep, deep fear. 

 

“The Critter is how you do this, yes?” Gus asks. “How you control another?”

 

Adam looks impressed. “You’re quicker than your twin. Then again, you’re not a junkie.” He laughs. “If you thought that Connor had gotten clean, you’d be wrong - he’s been high as a kite ever since ‘Evan’ got back.” 

 

Gus wants to argue that this is not true. 

 

That Connor finished his detox and is no longer on drugs. 

 

But what Adam is saying makes sense. 

 

He does not dignify Adam’s words with response. 

 

“It’s been killing Evan to see the man he loves so drugged up, he can’t even tell he’s not really himself,” Adam continues, and his face is smug. “Turns out it’s easy to get a junkie back on drugs, even if it has been years. He just needed a little push. Turns out that idiot Australian was good for something.” Gus still doesn’t say anything, and Adam looks irritated, then continues. “I didn’t even need to use the Critter on him. I just jumped into someone, headed to New York, found him in a bar and showed him the news about ERAS. Then when he said he knew people who worked there, suggested he should pay them a visit.”

 

“So you jump into people often,” Gus says, and Adam looks pleased that he is finally responding. “Have you many people to jump into?”

 

“Oh yes,” Adam replies, and he sounds happy to be talking of it. “Less sophisticated versions of the Critter, but they do the job. I take control for a few hours at a time if I need to, then I dispose of them. I have a network of people from all walks of life, ready to go.” 

 

“How?”

 

Adam grins. “That would be telling.”

 

Gus looks at him. “You will jump into me soon,” he says. “And then I will know.”

 

“True. But you won’t be able to do anything about it.”

 

“Evan breaks through sometimes,” Gus reminds him. “Evan is strong. And so am I. You may find that if you try to control me, I do not make it easy for you.”

 

“Oh, I know that,” says Adam with a roll of his eyes. “That’s why we’ll be taking the Critter out of Evan soon to analyse it. It’s smart, you see. Constantly looking for ways to improve itself. Just give my team twenty-four hours. They’ll have an upgrade that’ll keep you under control, I’m sure of it.”

 

Gus looks at him intently. “When you take the Critter out of Evan, you will kill him,” he realizes. 

 

Adam shrugs. “Probably.”

 

Gus thinks for a moment. “Then you have given me no options.”

 

Before Adam can respond, Gus attacks, and Adam is on the floor in an instant. Gus holds Adam down by resting his knee on his chest, and he howls in pain. Gus wraps his hands around Adam’s neck and begins to squeeze. 

 

“Gus, please don’t do this.”

 

The voice sounds like Evan. The face looks like Evan. 

 

“Gus, please, please, there’s got to be another way. I don’t want this.”

 

Gus’s grip on Evan’s neck relaxes. 

 

His heart is pounding. 

 

He cannot do this. 

 

Even though this is the best choice, he cannot kill his friend. 

 

He is not that person anymore. 

 

There is a shift in Adam’s face, and Gus sees determination. 

 

“Do it. Gus, do it. It’s the only way.” 

 

He is not sure of anything. 

 

He does not know if it is Evan or it is Adam and he does not know if he can do this. 

 

He does not know what to do. 

 

“Gus,” says Evan, and his voice is urgent. “Gus, I love you, and I know you don’t want to do this, but you have to, for everyone’s sake. For your sake and Connor’s sake and everyone we love, please.”

 

Gus tightens his grip on Adam’s neck. 

 

Evan’s neck. 

 

Adam’s neck. 

 

Just as he is about to twist with all his strength, the door flies open, and what feels like dozens of armed men storm in and rip him away from Adam. 

 

From Evan. 

 

Gus kicks and bites and struggles and tries to get free but there are too many. 

 

Then there is a needle in his neck and he slows down and his vision fades and all goes dark. 

 

* * *

Zoe doesn’t go home from the hospital. Instead, she goes back up to Hannah’s room and tells her everything.

 

That Evan took Connor and Gus to the lake house and now no one’s heard from them. 

 

That someone brutally stabbed Jared and all signs point to Evan. 

 

“This is…” Hannah takes in a deep breath, then looks at Zoe desperately. “If they make Evan hurt Connor and Gus, it’ll destroy him. He must be so scared, Zo.”

 

“We have to find them,” Zoe says urgently. “I’m pretty sure they’re not going to the fucking lake house.” She sighs. “Jenny’s going to drive up there and check, but we’re not expecting to find them.” 

 

“So what’s the plan?” Hannah asks, her face ashen. “What are we going to do?”

 

“Torpedo’s in LA, but he’s tracking their phones,” Zoe tells her. “Reed’s with Dr. Harkness, they’re analyzing the chips we found in teeth and are trying to get a location from them. But they’re all showing different locations.”

 

“Maybe if we plotted out those three locations, we could narrow it down to a particular,” Hannah suggests. “Like, a triangle we can start searching in.”

 

“Or I could go and punch the dentist,” Zoe says darkly. 

 

“You don’t know what dentist it is,” Hannah replies reasonably. 

 

“I’ll look up all the dentists in the Boston area and I’ll punch all of them.”

 

Hannah sighs. “Fence and Brewer are probably looking into the dentist angle,” she points out. “They might find something.”

 

“And it might be too late,” Zoe shoots back. “I need to do something, I…” Her phone rings, and it startles her so much she nearly drops the call trying to answer. “Hello?”

 

“Uh, hello,” says an unfamiliar voice. The voice sounds very young, and a lot unsure. “Is this Zoe?”

 

“It is,” Zoe replies quickly. “Who is this? How did you get my number?”

 

“My name’s Molly, and I found your number on a dog collar? I tried to call the first number but no one answered but it also said if there’s an emergency to call Zoe and had your number.”

 

Zoe’s so beyond confused right now. “What?”

 

“Um… I don’t really know how to say the name on the collar, but do you have a big white fluffy dog?”


	41. FORTY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a family thing.

Miranda Gosse considers herself a pragmatist. 

 

She thinks that this is the way it has to be, all things considered. 

 

Life has thrown strange things in her direction for many years now, ever since she began her career at DYAD after finishing her degree in HR Management. She worked hard, was recognized for her work and wanted to succeed. 

 

Miranda never wanted to become a mother. She never felt the need. But when approached about being a surrogate for an innovative new IVF project DYAD were taking on, she agreed. It was to only be nine months, she was young and in excellent health, and it was a good way to be seen as a team player. Plus, it came with a hefty bonus. 

 

She never anticipated that Roy and Denys, the couple who adopted the child she carried, would want to keep in touch. Would send photos and updates, would keep her connected to Sandy. 

 

She never anticipated loving Sandy so much. 

 

Sandy was an intelligent young man and his fathers made sure he worked hard. He was put up a grade in elementary school, which meant he was only just seventeen when he graduated high school. Instead of going straight to college, Sandy decided he wanted to spend some time with Miranda in Europe, and his fathers agreed to let him do what was supposed to be a gap year. 

 

That gap year resulted in Sandy giving away his college fund to his pregnant friend and helping her raise her child for almost two years, essentially crushing his fathers’ dreams of higher education. 

 

They were never as close after this. 

 

For some time after Gaelle was born, Miranda suspected that perhaps the child might be Sandy’s. There were similarities in the baby photos, in the mannerisms. 

 

She definitely had his ears. 

 

But when Sandy left to backpack around South America in mid 2020, Miranda came to the conclusion that this must not be the case. If it were, then why would he leave?

 

In March 2021, Miranda found out her son was being held prisoner by DYAD. 

 

That he was being experimented on. 

 

That he was being subjected to a fate worse than death. 

 

DYAD soon learned that Miranda Gosse was not someone to be crossed. The organization was destroyed, and she learned that her son died as peacefully as he could before the building he was being kept in crumbled into ruins. 

 

She became part of what they rebuilt from the ashes of DYAD, acting as one of the International HR Managers for ERAS. Her role let her continue to work in Switzerland, managing a small team remotely, and she was able to keep Lili as her assistant. 

 

Miranda met Jared Kleinman at the initial ERAS summit in Johannesburg and did not know what to make of this strange American boy who had called out of the blue, full of guilt about his role in her son’s death. 

 

Over the years, Jared has become less strange to her. He still has a tendency to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and is sometimes, to put it bluntly, an asshole, but he has become part of her family. 

 

She has always considered Lili and Gaelle family. 

 

Even though she has only just discovered that her initial suspicions about Gaelle’s paternity were correct. 

 

The conversations with Lili regarding her relationship with Sandy have been hard. 

 

“I told him Gaelle was not his,” Lili had said tearfully. “That he owed us nothing. That he should go and travel the world, like he had always talked of doing. I did not want him to give up his dreams. If I had not lied, he would have stayed, and he would still be alive.”

 

“We do not know this,” Miranda had replied, and of this she is certain. “He was sick. He had the clone disease. It had progressed rapidly, his files say. If he had stayed here, he may have died anyway. The cure would not have been found fast enough to save him.”

 

“But he would not have died alone.”

 

Now Miranda waits in a hospital room for news of Jared. She does not know if he will survive, but she knows that whatever happens, Jared will not die alone. 

 

She will not let that happen again. 

 

They have been there for many hours when Jared’s parents finally arrive. His mother has the same round face, his father has his eyes - the genetic resemblance is strong. Heidi, who has remained with them, Seamus having joined her after some time, is the first to greet the new arrivals. 

 

Miranda waits as Rebecca Kleinman greets Heidi with a hug and a non-stop flood of words. 

 

“We didn’t even know he was in the country, Heidi, and we get a phone call from a hospital in Boston to say that he’s been stabbed? I mean, honestly, it’s just been a nightmare. We got on the road as soon as we could but traffic was terrible and it’s such a hassle to travel between states these days and of course there’s so much to organize because who knows how long he’ll be here, and we’ll be taking him back home as soon as he’s out of surgery, obviously, but this is just typical of him, not to bother telling us he’s back in the United States after almost seven years and to get injured-”

 

“I believe that injured is an understatement,” Miranda cannot help but interrupt. “Your son is in surgery, Mrs. Kleinman. We are still waiting to hear what the results of this surgery will be. When they brought him here, he was near death.” 

 

Mrs. Kleinman looks at Miranda in a similar fashion to someone looking at a fly found in their soup. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

 

“Miranda Gosse,” she says, not bothering to extend a hand to shake. She does not feel particularly inclined to be welcoming. “I suppose you might say that technically, he works for me. But I would consider him family.”

 

The woman looks somewhat appalled, then looks around to see Lili and Gaelle. Something in her expression shifts when she sees them. “And I suppose this must be Lillian and Gabrielle?”

 

“Lili and Gaelle,” Miranda replies sharply. “And yes.”

 

Lili stands up, blinks back the tears that have been near constant since they found out about Jared, and lifts up her jaw determinedly, pulling her shoulders back to show off every inch of her five foot frame. “You must be Jared’s parents,” she says, her voice pleasantly polite in a way that Miranda has heard her use many times on clients and stakeholders she does not particularly care for. “I have heard much about you.”

 

“I’ve heard about you, too,” says Mrs. Kleinman. “How you convinced my son to throw away his chance at higher education to help you raise your fatherless child thousands of miles away.”

 

“Considering that I did not meet Jared until nearly 8 months after he dropped out of college,” Lili says, her voice still pleasant and polite, “that would be unlikely.”

 

“If you knew your son at all, you’d know that he’s hardly likely to let himself get convinced to do something he does not wish to do,” Miranda chimes in.

 

The woman’s eyes flash with annoyance, and she turns back to Heidi. “Do you know when he’ll be able to be moved?” she asks. “We’ll want to bring him home.” 

 

Miranda cannot believe the nerve of this woman. “Was I not clear when I said that he is in surgery to save his life?” she says, somewhat taken aback. “We are still not sure whether he will survive. Moving him is out of the question at this point.”

 

The woman lets out a huff of frustration. “Well, we can’t stay here indefinitely. Unlike Jared, we’re not about to completely abandon our lives back home.” 

 

“Rebecca,” says Heidi, her tone more than a little warning. “We need to take things as they come. We don’t know what’s happening yet.” Her expression changes to one of sympathy. “You’ve had a long drive. Let Seamus and I take you for a cup of coffee. We’re not expected to hear the results of the surgery for another hour at least, last we heard, and Miranda can call us if anything changes.”

 

Mrs. Kleinman crosses her arms. “If you think I’m leaving this hospital until I see my son, you’ve got another think coming.”

 

“Alright,” says Heidi, with the practiced ease of someone who has clearly dealt with this woman before. “Seamus, would you be able to run out and grab some coffee for all of us?”

 

“Not a problem, love,” says Seamus, who’s been standing slightly behind Heidi this whole time, shooting looks at Miranda every couple of moments. 

 

Miranda is somewhat pleased to see that from the look on Seamus’s face, he thinks the Kleinman parents are as ridiculous as she does. 

 

Seamus goes about collecting everyone’s coffee order, and Tina offers to go with them. Miranda had almost forgotten Tina was still there, Charles having left some time ago to speak with the FBI Agents on the case. 

 

Once Seamus and Tina leave, the group is quiet for a while. Rebecca and Levi Kleinman sit down across from Miranda, Lili and Gaelle. Gaelle curls up in her mother’s lap. She’s starting to look tired, but Miranda can see she is forcing herself to stay awake. 

 

“Tu peux dormir, ma belle,” Miranda says to Gaelle. “On va te reveiller si on a des nouvelles.”

 

Gaelle shakes her head. “J’suis pas fatiguee.”

 

Lili rolls her eyes. “Menteuse.”

 

Miranda sees Mrs. Kleinman looking at them and looks straight back, her eyes challenging. Mrs. Kleinman clears her throat, then coughs, then sighs. 

 

“Is there a problem?” Miranda asks innocently. 

 

“I just think it’s rather rude to be speaking a foreign language,” Mrs. Kleinman says. “Not everyone can understand.”

 

“She was not talking to you,” Gaelle pipes up, “so why does it matter?”

 

Lili makes a choking sound that Miranda knows is her trying not to laugh. 

 

Mrs. Kleinman fixes Lili with a harsh look. “Clearly my son hasn’t managed to teach your daughter any manners.”

 

“With all due respect,” Lili replies, her voice still pleasant, “have you met your son?”

 

This time, the choking-back-laughter sound comes from Heidi. Mrs. Kleinman shoots her a betrayed look, and Miranda fights back a smile and a sigh. 

 

This is shaping up to be a long night. 

 

* * *

“Hannah told me you drive like a maniac,” Daniel says conversationally from the passenger seat of Zoe’s car. It’s the first thing he’s said in about an hour, and Zoe’s so surprised she almost swerves into oncoming traffic.

 

“Dude,” she replies once she’s got the car under control. “Not cool.”

 

“Sorry,” he says apologetically. “You okay?”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Really? Because it’s totally okay if you’re not. Everything’s been pretty nuts.”

 

Zoe really doesn’t want to talk to Hannah’s little brother about how insane her life has been for the past two weeks. She doesn’t really want him in her car, to be perfectly honest. But Hannah had insisted she not drive to and from Maine by herself, so Daniel’s in her car, reading a textbook and seeming completely unbothered by everything going on. 

 

Until now, when apparently he decided they were going to have a conversation.

 

“That’s an understatement,” she says, sighing. “I just want to get Pampushka, then try to figure out why the fuck she’s not with Gus.” 

 

“So you don’t think she just ran away?” Daniel asks. 

 

“Not a chance in hell,” Zoe shoots back. “Pampushka’s too smart for that. She’s a support animal. She looks after Gus.”

 

Gus must be freaking out, not knowing where Pampushka is. 

 

Neolution has him. 

 

Zoe’s absolutely sure of it. 

 

Daniel, thankfully, doesn’t continue the conversation and goes back to his book. He’s keeping up with his studies pretty diligently, from all accounts. Lord knows he’s paying more attention to keeping on top of things than Zoe did when she was at college. 

 

The radio’s crackling with static and Zoe forgot the cord to make her iPhone play through the car stereo so they’re driving in silence and it’s giving Zoe way too much time with her thoughts. 

 

If Neolution has Gus and Connor, then how are they going to find them? They had no leads when they took Evan, now they’ve got Gus and Connor. 

 

All they know is that Pampushka’s in Maine, not too far from the lakehouse. 

 

Maybe Neolution’s got some kind of facility nearby. 

 

If it were up to Zoe, she’d pick up Pampushka and then storm every damn building in a 10 mile radius from where she was found, but that’s not something she can do with Daniel in her car. 

 

Which is probably why Hannah insisted he come with her. 

 

To stop her from doing something stupid. 

 

Sure, Zoe can be a little reckless sometimes, but she sure as hell isn’t putting Hannah’s little brother in danger. 

 

Ruth Weiss has been through enough as it is. 

 

Eventually, they get to the address they’ve been provided. Zoe gets out of the car and Daniel follows suit. Zoe knocks on the door and it doesn’t take long before it opens and a cute blonde kid stands at the entrance. 

 

“Hi,” Zoes says awkwardly. “I’m Zoe, I’m here for-”

 

Before she can even finish her sentence, she’s being almost bowled over by a blur of white fur. “Pampushka! Hello gorgeous, it’s so good to see you!”

 

“I’m Molly,” says the kid. Zoe notices there’s an older woman standing behind her. “This is my mom.”

 

“Thank you for getting in touch,” Zoe says gratefully. “Where did you find her?”

 

The older woman looks concerned. “Molly found her down the road from our house. When she brought her home, the dog kept running off, like she wanted us to follow her. So we followed her about half a mile out of town and found a car wreck.” She gives Zoe a card. “The car’s totally, I’m afraid, but it’s been towed. There was no one in it, but they did find blood.” She frowns. “The local police will want to talk to you about what’s happened but they won’t be around until the morning.”

 

“Pampushka is my brother’s dog,” Zoe says, feeling sick to her stomach. “He was on a trip with my other brother and his fiance, up to the family lakehouse. We haven’t heard from them and I… I thought something had happened.”

 

“There’s a motel down the road,” says the woman, her face full of sympathy. “Ask for Billy, tell him Cheryl sent you, he’ll give you a good deal if you want to stay in town.”  

 

“Pushka is a good dog,” says Molly, her face serious. “I hope that your brothers are okay.”

 

Zoe bites her lip and nods. “I hope so, too.”


	42. FORTY-ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit to the dentist.

It’s close to 2 am when they finally get word about Jared’s surgery. All Charles can think when the doctors tell them that Jared’s going to be fine is that they had to have some good luck eventually. 

 

Zoe had called she’d picked up Pampushka to explain that Evan’s car had been found, destroyed and wrapped around a tree in Maine, and while they’d found blood at the scene, there hadn’t been any bodies. 

 

“It has to be Neolution,” Zoe had said firmly. “They have to have taken them. And I think… I think we can’t rule out Evan not really being Evan.”

 

Charles had been the one to break it to Heidi and Seamus, on Zoe’s request. He’d taken them aside and let them know what he’d found out. Both of them are shaken, pale-faced and grim, but neither of them looks surprised. 

 

“I knew this wasn’t finished,” Heidi had said, and Seamus had clasped her hand tight. “I just… I knew it. Evan coming back like that was too easy. Nothing about this has ever been easy.”

 

“What’s the plan?” Seamus asked simply. “What do we do next?”

 

“I wish I knew,” Charles said, as honestly as he could. “Fence and Brewer have some leads they’re following up, and Zoe’s speaking with the police in Maine tomorrow to see if they can find out anything.”

 

“Did they ever find out anything from the club in New York?” Heidi had asked. “That was called Neolution, too, wasn’t it?”

 

“It’s been closed for at least a year, according to the building manager,” Charles said. “The FBI sent agents to check it out, but there’s nothing there. When they left, they cleared it out completely.”

 

“I’ll see if any of my contacts know anything,” Seamus promised. “I asked when Evan went missing after the explosion, but I’ll see what else I can find out. All anyone’s said about Neolution has been about the club and tales of strange things happening there, but if it’s not there anymore… I don’t know.”

 

Heidi and Seamus stayed at the hospital with them, despite the fact that they’re obviously reeling and worried about their sons. Charles is ninety percent sure it’s to make sure that Miranda and Rebecca Kleinman don’t get into a literal catfight. 

 

It’s obvious from the moment she walked in that Rebecca Kleinman wasn’t a fan of the people her son had chosen as his family, and Miranda had no doubt heard enough stories about Jared’s parents to dislike them instantly. Heidi, having known Rebecca for a long time, manages to calm her down enough to be civil, and Seamus talks quietly with Lili and Miranda, Gaelle having fallen asleep despite her arguments just after midnight. 

 

“I want to see him,” Rebecca announces once the doctor tells them that Jared’s going to be okay. 

 

It’s only when Lili stands up that Charles realizes they’ve said the same thing at the same time. 

 

The doctor looks between the two women, a little apologetically. “Family only at this stage,” he says firmly. 

 

“I’m his mother,” Rebecca says immediately. 

 

Lili opens her mouth to argue, then looks horribly sad, and Charles’ heart goes out to her. It’s obvious to him that Jared, Lili, and Gaelle are a family, but in the eyes of the law they’re just people who happen to live together. 

 

Which is frustrating, considering that Charles knows for a fact who Jared would rather see.

 

“I want to see him too,” a small voice pipes up, and it’s Gaelle, awake and looking defiant. She stares down the doctor with all the strength her eight-year-old frame can muster. “He’s my papa.”

 

Rebecca scoffs. “He’s not her real-”

 

“He’s my papa in my heart,” Gaelle interrupts, looking at the doctor. “Can I see him please?”

 

“He’s not awake yet,” the doctor says, his voice going soft. “But you and your grandma can go in and see him for a little while.”

  
Gaelle rolls her eyes. “She’s not my grandma.”

 

“Right,” says the doctor, who looks like he’d rather be doing anything else other than having this conversation. “Okay.”

 

“If we keep it quick, maybe we could do two visits?” Charles suggests. “Jared’s parents, then afterward Gaelle and Lili.”

 

The doctor looks hesitant, but nods. “Alright. We can do that.”

 

Rebecca Kleinman doesn’t acknowledge any of them, she just takes her husband’s hand and drags him to his feet. They head down the hallway with the doctor, and Gaelle looks at Charles, clearly frustrated. 

 

“Jared doesn’t like them,” she says frankly. “And neither do I.”

 

Lili sighs. “She must be very sad, that her son is injured,” she says to Gaelle. “I would be very sad if you were in hospital, ma cherie.”

 

“Yes, but you would not be so awful.”

 

Charles catches Seamus trying not to laugh. 

 

Ten minutes later, Rebecca and Levi Kleinman come back into the waiting room. Heidi and Seamus stand up. “We’ve got a spare room,” Heidi says. “You’re welcome to stay.”

 

“Alright,” says Rebecca, like she’s doing Heidi some kind of favor, which makes Charles’s blood boil just a little. “We’ll head back in the morning. He should be awake then, all going well.” She sniffs. “I don’t know why the child has to see him now if he can’t even speak to her.”

 

“For the same reason you do,” Charles says simply. “Because she loves him.”

 

Rebecca stares at him, and for a moment he gets a glimpse of real emotion on her face. Here she is, terrified beyond belief about her son, a son she hasn’t seen in seven years. 

 

If she weren’t so awful, Charles might feel sorry for her.

 

“We’ll see you tomorrow,” Heidi says kindly, and Charles watches as the four of them leave. 

 

It’s not long until Lili and Gaelle are back. Gaelle looks exhausted and Lili’s not much better, and it’s clear they’ve both been crying. 

 

“He looks so small,” Lili murmurs. “I hate it.”

 

“He will be okay,” Gaelle says, her voice serious. “It will be okay soon.” She looks at Charles, eyes big and full of sadness. “I want everyone to be okay and not sad.”

 

Charles doesn’t think he’s agreed with anything more. 

 

* * *

“All I’m saying is that dentists are creepy enough as it is, without including this whole ‘mind control chip in your teeth’ business.”

 

Brewer resists the urge to roll her eyes. The entire drive to the Happy Smiles Dental Center, Fence has been ranting about how terrifying dentists are, and while it’s entertaining, it’s getting a little annoying. 

 

“The fearless Noah Fence is scared of dentists,” says Brewer with a smirk. “I’ll be sure to let everyone in the Bureau know. I’m sure they’ll find it as funny as I do.”

 

“Okay, so a. I’m sure at least half the agents in the country agree with me,” Fence begins, “and also b. me being scared of dentists isn’t even close to the most mockable thing about me and you know it.”

 

“This is true,” Brewer concedes as they get out of the car. 

 

The Happy Smiles Dental Center is small and looks pretty welcoming, for a dentist. 

 

It’s also where Ross Black, Cameron Rossini, and Sarah Parkinson have all recently had oral surgery and ended up with a brain controlling microchip in their tooth. 

 

As they enter, one of the dentists catches a glimpse of Fence and his eyes widen. Brewer’s immediately on edge. 

 

Sure, people do recognize the clones sometimes, but Brewer thinks this is something else. 

 

“Good morning, innocent people who are supposed to be seeing a dentist this morning,” she announces in a loud voice. “I’m afraid you’re all going to have to reschedule, as we have a warrant to question the staff and search the premises.” 

 

The three people in the waiting room look at her blankly. 

 

“Potentially we’re doing you a huge favor,” Fence says wryly, showing his badge. 

 

They look at each other, then at the badge, then pick up their things and go. Meanwhile, Brewer heads straight to the dentist who reacted to Fence. “We’ve got some questions about some of your patients,” she says, her voice firm. 

 

To his credit, the man stands his ground. “I don’t remember every single patient I’ve ever treated, but I’m happy to help where I can.”

 

“Ross Black, Cameron Rossini and Sarah Parkinson,” Brewer continues. “They’re all dead. They’ve all recently had oral surgery at this clinic. And wouldn’t you know it, they found the darndest thing in their autopsies. Want to have a look?”

 

With that, she displays photos of the teeth and the chips across the reception desk. The receptionist looks beyond confused but leans in to get a closer look. “What the hell,” Brewer hears her mutter to herself. 

 

“All three patients died right after either murdering or attempting to murder someone,” Fence says. “And our scientific experts think that something in their teeth had something to do with it.”

 

“Can you pull up the records for these three patients and tell me who did their surgery?” Brewer asks the receptionist. 

 

“Don’t give them anything,” snaps the dentist. 

 

“Yeah, that’s not gonna work,” says Brewer, handing the receptionist a piece of paper. “I’ve got a warrant.”

 

The receptionist starts typing and clicking, then reads something on the screen and shoots a nervous look at the dentist, who Brewer can see from his nametag is Dr. K. Pinkett. “All three of the surgeries were performed by Dr. Pinkett,” says the young woman, her voice a little shaky. “Okay, what the fuck is going on?”

 

Dr. Pinkett frowns. “That’s hardly appropriate language for a workplace, Charlene.”

 

“Dude, you guys do not pay me enough for me to not freak out that you’re putting weird shit in people’s  _ teeth,” _ Charlene shoots back. She looks at Brewer, clearly disturbed. “Did you say they put this weird thing in people’s teeth and it made them  _ murder _ people? What the actual  _ fuck?” _

 

“I was told they wouldn’t show up in an autopsy,” says Dr. Pinkett, who practically deflates in front of their eyes. 

 

“By who?” Fence presses. 

 

“They’re a company called Helix Tech,” Dr. Pinkett continues. “They offered me money. Ten thousand dollars per A-Dev installed. It was supposed to be collecting anonymous health data and sending it back to the company for research purposes. I don’t know anything about murder.”

 

“Do you have any of the devices in the office now?” asks Brewer. 

 

Dr. Pinkett nods, and Brewer and Fence follow him into an exam room. He unlocks a cabinet, then pulls out a small box and gives it to Brewer. “They always know when it’s installed,” he says, his voice weary. “They come online once connected to a nerve. Once they’re online, we get paid.”

 

“We?” asks Fence. 

 

Dr. Pinkett can’t meet his eyes. “I. I get paid. This has nothing to do with the clinic. The money comes directly to me.” 

 

Brewer looks at Fence, who’s wearing his usual bland expression. There’s something in his eyes, however, that makes Brewer think he agrees with her wholeheartedly that this guy is a total douche. 

 

“We’re going to need you to tell us everything you can about Helix Tech and the A-Dev,” says Fence firmly. “In the meantime, we’re shutting this place down until we can be sure people aren’t getting strange technology put in their heads without their consent.”

 

Brewer doesn’t want to get ahead of herself, but she’s starting to think this might actually be the most solid lead they’ve had to finding the real Neolution yet. 

 

* * *

The drive back to Massachusetts is long and annoying and Zoe’s trying to keep her cool and not just start beeping her horn at every other damn driver in frustration.

 

The visit to the police department in whatever tiny town in Maine Evan’s car was found in had not been helpful.

 

At all. 

 

No one had seen the crash, or heard the crash, or seen anyone else show up, or anything even slightly useful. 

 

If it hadn’t been for Pampushka, it might not have been found for days. 

 

So not only did the police have no idea what happened and no way to help track down Evan, Gus and Connor, Zoe then had to go argue with the towing company so she could actually go and look at the car. 

 

It hadn’t been pretty. 

 

There’d just been… so much blood. 

 

Daniel had helped Zoe get everything out of Evan’s car so they could take it back to Boston. Considering they were supposed to be leaving town, there was surprisingly little actually in Evan’s car. The trunk had a couple of bags, all of them looked like they were packed in a hurry. 

 

They hadn’t even brought any food for Pampushka. That’s what weirds Zoe out the most. 

 

“They could have been planning to stop to buy dog food,” Daniel points out when Zoe brings it up. 

 

Zoe shakes her head. “Gus spoils that dog rotten. Usually, when they go to the lakehouse, he brings this specialty food he gets wholesale along. Pampushka isn’t fussy, but Gus went on this weird “health food for dogs” kick and thinks the dog food you buy at the store doesn’t have the right nutrients.” 

 

“So... he must have left in a hurry?”

 

“Yeah,” Zoe says, frowning. “And I don’t know why.” 

 

They’re about an hour out of Boston when they stop for a coffee and Zoe has a thought. “I should get in touch with Steve,” she says to Daniel. “See if Gus told him he was going out of town.”

 

“Who’s Steve?” Daniel asks, putting what looks like a fourth packet of sugar in his coffee.

 

“Gus’s boyfriend.”

 

Daniel nods. “Gotcha.” He looks apologetic. “Sorry, there are a lot of names to remember.”

 

Zoe’s already pulling out her phone. She thinks she has Steve’s number in there somewhere. Sure enough, it’s saved under “Hot Steve who wants Gus’s booty”. 

 

It takes a while for Steve to answer. “Hello?”

 

“Steve? Hi, this is Zoe,” she says, suddenly feeling a little weird. “Gus’s sister.”

 

There’s silence on the other end of the line, and for a moment Zoe thinks that the call might have dropped. But then he finally says something. “How’s it going?”

 

She has no idea how to answer that. This time, it takes her a while to respond, and when she does, she’s fairly certain it’s the wrong thing. “Gus and Connor are missing,” she blurts out. “We think… we think Neolution has them. There was a car crash, and the car is totally but no one knows where they are, and… look, did Gus say anything to you before he left town?” 

 

“Gus is missing?” Steve asks, and there’s genuine panic in his voice. “He… he didn’t tell me left town.” There’s a pause, and when Steve continues, his voice is raw. “We… I talked, and I… we were taking some time apart to…” 

 

Zoe’s fairly certain he might be crying and feels like the absolute worst person in the world for breaking this news in what might be the worst way. Then his words register. “You were taking some time apart?”

 

“I found out about his past,” Steve says, and Zoe can hear him sniffing back his tears. “When he was a teenager, he… I have a kid, when I found out he’d… I just needed some time, because I  _ know _ him, and I  _ know _ he’s a good person, and…” 

 

“You found out about the clones,” Zoe realizes. “How did… there aren’t many people who know about that, Steve. It’s not something he just tells people.” She’s starting to understand why Gus left in such a hurry now. If he told Steve about his past and Steve reacted badly, he’d be heartbroken, and a heartbroken Gus doesn’t always make the best decisions. 

 

Also, fuck this guy for reacting badly for Gus trying to be honest about his painful past. “What the fuck. He trusted you. If he told you, he must have trusted you-”

 

“He didn’t tell me,” Steve interrupts. 

 

“He didn’t tell you? Then how did you find out?”

 

“Evan told me,” Steve says. 

 

And Zoe feels her heart sinking. If she hadn’t been sure before, she’s definitely sure now that Evan’s not really Evan. 

 

Because there’s no way Evan would do that to Gus. 

 

No way in hell.

 

Not if he were really Evan. 


	43. FORTY-TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans are made.

Jared wakes up to bright lights, the sound of beeping and a pain in his gut. It takes a moment for him to figure out where he is. 

 

A hospital, from the sounds of it. 

 

“Ugh,” he says in disgust, barely recognizing his own voice. 

 

As his eyes adjust, he tries to piece together what happened to land him here, and the memory isn’t pretty. 

 

Evan stabbed him. 

 

Evan Hansen honest to fuck  _ stabbed _ him. 

 

Except that somehow, it wasn’t Evan. 

 

_ “You have to get her out of the country. Don’t go back to Switzerland. He has people in Switzerland.” _

 

Gaelle. 

 

Where’s Gaelle? 

 

Has whoever’s taken over Evan’s body found her? 

 

He doesn’t realize he’s panicking until whatever’s attached to him starts beeping frantically and a bunch of nurses come into the room. 

 

“Is Gaelle okay?” he blurts out, struggling to sit up. 

 

“Careful,” says one of the nurses, frowning slightly. “You’ve just had major surgery, you shouldn’t be moving.” 

 

Jared’s hit with a wave of blinding pain and lies back, wincing. 

 

“We’ll get you some more pain medication,” says the nurse. 

 

“Is it going to knock me out?” Jared asks. 

 

The nurse nods. “Probably.”

 

“Can I… is anyone here I can talk to first?” he asks desperately. “I just… I need to know if my kid is okay.”

 

“There was a little girl who visited you last night,” says one of the other nurses. “With her mom.” 

 

“And she’s okay?”

 

“They both seemed fine,” the nurse assures him. “Just worried about you.” Jared’s about to ask more questions when she continues. “Your partner is still here, shall I get her for you?” 

 

“Yes,” Jared answers immediately, not even bothering to correct her. 

 

He focuses on not screaming from the fiery pain in his stomach as the nurse leaves the room. It’s barely minutes later when Lili shows up at his bedside, a look of intense relief on her face. 

 

“Thank god you’re awake,” she says almost immediately. “What happened?”

 

“Well, I got stabbed,” he replies. 

 

Lili rolls her eyes. “I can see that. Who stabbed you?”

 

“Evan. But it wasn’t Evan, not really. He wasn’t himself.” He tries to explain. “Except at one point, he was - like he was trying get control back.” Jared reaches out his hand, and Lili takes it in hers and squeezes it. “He said that we should get Gaelle out of the country. But not back home. That there are people back home who might hurt her, or take her.” He squeezes her hand again. “You have to take her somewhere safe.”

 

Lili shakes her head. “We don’t go anywhere without you.”

 

Jared tries not to huff in annoyance because it hurts his stomach. “If it’ll keep you and Gaelle safe, I don’t care.” He thinks for a moment. “Wait, where is she now?”

 

“At the hotel,” Lili replies. “With Charles and Tina.”

 

“Okay. But… you have to get her somewhere safe.”

 

“When you are well enough to travel, we will all go somewhere safe,” Lili announces. “But until then, we all stay together.” She squeezes his hand again. “Your parents are here.”

 

Shit. 

 

“Was, uh… I’m sorry if my mom was awful.”

 

Lili laughs a little. “She is quite awful, yes. It was hard. They almost did not let us see you, because we are not your family.”

 

“Of course you’re my family,” Jared says immediately.

 

“I know,” Lili says simply. “It is just that we are not family legally. Your parents want to take you home.”

 

“Not happening,” Jared promises. “I’m a grown ass man, they’re not taking me anywhere.” He sighs. “I should get a lawyer or something. Make a will. Figure out a way to give you power of attorney or some shit.”

 

“What?”

 

“In case something like this happens again, or worse.” Jared looks at Lili intently. “I trust you to know what I’d want, way more than I trust my parents.” 

 

“Nothing like this will happen again,” Lili replies fiercely. “I will not let it.”

 

“But if it did, I’d want you to be the one to decide what happens to me.” A thought crosses Jared’s mind, and he blurts it out without really thinking about it. “We should just get married.”

 

It’s a joke, but it doesn’t quite land like one. Lili starts blushing and Jared feels his heart start racing and he definitely shouldn’t have said that, because they have rules, and one of those rules is that they don’t talk about how the two of them aren’t just friends. Not really. 

 

“If this is your idea of a proposal,” Lili says, her voice deliberately light, “then it is no wonder you are single.”

 

Jared laughs, and immediately regrets it because that really fucking hurt. Lili’s face immediately melts into concern and goes to get a nurse. 

 

A few minutes later, Jared’s not in pain anymore, but he can definitely feel himself slipping back into sleep. “You have to keep her safe,” he says to Lili, as urgently as he can, before everything fades. 

 

* * *

Everyone who can gathers at Reed, Rita and Chiv’s apartment that afternoon. Reed puts on a pot of coffee and marvels that this many people can fit in their living room.

 

Beanpole and Tina are there, as is Miranda, whereas Lili is at the hospital with Gaelle. Seamus is there, but not Heidi, who’s still running interference between Lili and Jared and the Kleinmans. Zoe’s there, Hannah having made her promise to come back and tell her everything, and so is Jenny. Torpedo’s Skyping in from LA and Lucas and Donna are Skyping in from Connecticut. 

 

“Shouldn’t Brewer and Fence be here?” is the first thing that Chiv says once they’ve all got a cup of coffee. “Considering that this whole thing is now FBI business?”

 

“We handled it ourselves last time, we can handle it ourselves again,” says Torpedo from the screen, with more confidence than Reed thinks he actually has. 

 

“I’m not sure if that’s necessarily true,” says Rita, biting her lip. She’s visibly shaken by the whole thing, and Reed makes sure they’re sitting near enough to her to put an arm around her if she needs it. 

 

Rita wasn’t there last time. She wasn’t there when they took down DYAD. She hasn’t been exposed to this part of their lives yet, and Reed kind of hates that she has to deal with it now. 

 

“Well, what have the FBI managed to do anyway?” Zoe says with more than a hint of annoyance. “It seems like they don’t have any more of an idea of what to do than we do.”

 

“Let’s start from what we know,” Seamus says, his voice calm but his face pale. There’s a steely resolve on his face that gives Reed chills. “We know that Evan, Gus, and Connor were driving to the lakehouse, but that their car was found crashed in Maine, with no sign of their bodies but traces of blood.”

 

“We know that Evan’s not really Evan,” Zoe says, and she looks a little sick at the thought. 

 

“Do we know that for a fact?” asks Torpedo from the computer screen. 

 

“Yes,” says Beanpole, and he looks sick at the thought as well. “I saw Jared this morning, and he told me that it was Evan who stabbed him. But that he knew it wasn’t Evan because the real Evan managed to wrestle back control for a moment to warn him.” 

 

The room is quiet for a moment as everyone digests this. 

 

“So Evan’s in there?” Zoe says, and she’s going paler by the second and for a horrifying moment, Reed’s sure she’s going to either cry or throw up on the carpet. “There’s someone basically wearing Evan like a meat suit and he can see the whole thing? Oh my god.”

 

“Dr. Harkness and Hannah are studying the chips they found in the teeth,” Beanpole says, his face grim. “Hannah has a theory that there could be a way to disrupt the signal that’s going from whoever’s in control to the chip, but given that she’s doing all of this from a hospital bed, it’s slow-going.”

 

“I’ll help if I can,” Reed volunteers. “It’s not my area of expertise, but Hannah and I work well together. We always have.”

 

“Couldn’t we just pin Evan down and rip out his tooth?” Zoe suggests. 

 

“Sure,” says Chiv, “if we knew where he is. Chances are that now that whoever’s controlling Evan has played his hand, he won’t be back. He’ll know we know he isn’t him.”

 

“We have to have some kind of idea of where Neolution is based,” says Rita, frowning. 

 

“That’s the thing,” Reed says gently. “We don’t. The only record of Neolution anywhere online is the club that closed down years ago.”

 

“I’m trying to trace known associates,” Torpedo says, and Reed can see he’s frowning from the screen, “but I’m not finding anything.” 

 

“Half of my contacts have never even heard of Neolution,” Seamus says. “The others  think they’re a myth.” 

 

“I’m still trying to track down this James Haines guy,” Torpedo says. “He was the one who more or less founded Neolution, but there’s been no sign of him since 2002.” 

 

“We do have one lead,” Beanpole says. “It’s a long shot, but it’s worth a try. There’s an ex-DYAD scientist in police custody. He’s been locked up since we took DYAD down in 2021. We could ask Fence and Brewer if they can help contact him.” 

 

“Who is it?” Reed asks, curious. 

 

“Dr. Cliff Dubois,” Beanpole confirms. “In the grand scheme of things, he was mostly just middle management, but he was involved in enough shady stuff to take the fall. He started working for DYAD in the late 90s, so he would have been around for Phanes. And Neolution.”

 

“Well, that’s something,” Zoe concedes. She doesn’t look particularly convinced. In fact, she mostly just looks really, really freaked out. “All I know is that we need to find Gus and Evan and Connor quickly before these Neolution assholes do whatever it is they’re planning next.” 

 

“When Evan was himself, just for a moment, he told Jared he needed to get Gaelle out of the country, somewhere safe,” Beanpole says with a frown. “He also said that Neolution have people in Switzerland.”

 

“So we’re looking for something international,” Torpedo muses. “Like, a shell company or something.” 

 

“What about the dentists?” Zoe asks. 

 

Everyone kind of looks at her. “What about the dentists?”

 

“Well, they’d have to have gotten the weird chips in the teeth from somewhere, right? So if we can figure out where they got the chips, then we can start looking into a company, and then maybe we can… I don’t know, figure out if any of those companies own buildings in Maine and start knocking down some doors.”

 

“Just because they crashed their car in Maine doesn’t mean that’s where they’ve ended up,” Chiv points out. 

 

“It’s a start,” Zoe insists. 

 

“Alright,” Beanpole says with a nod. “I’ll talk to Fence and Brewer. See what they found out at the dentist. See if we can talk to Dr. Dubois. Those are the best leads we have right now.”

 

“It has to be fast,” Zoe says again. “As fast as we can. The longer we wait, the higher the chances are that they’ll do exactly what they did to Evan to Gus and Connor.” She looks around the room. “And we all know what Gus can do.”

 

It’s deadly silent for a moment as that sinks in fully. 

 

Seamus is the one to finally break it. 

 

“We need to make a plan,” he says, his face more serious than Reed’s ever seen it. “We absolutely, a hundred percent  _ cannot _ underestimate what could happen if whoever’s controlling Evan managed to do the same to Gus. Assuming that this whole mind control thing means that whoever’s in control has access to memories, to skills, anything like that - Gus was trained to be a weapon when he was young. That training… it hasn’t gone away. Add that to the fact that Gus is someone we all know and trust who knows where we live and how to find us... if Neolution wants any of us dead, we’re as good as dead.” 

 

“You’re saying we need to go underground for a while,” Reed says slowly, as the full horror of what Seamus is implying starts to dawn on them. 

 

They remember when Gus was August, and how shaken up Connor had been when August had killed Guy right in front of him. 

 

They remember the seventeen clones, murdered between the ages of thirteen and seventeen. 

 

They remember how Gus tried to kill himself because the guilt was overwhelming once he realized what he’d done. 

 

What he’d been forced to do. 

 

If Neolution makes Gus a weapon again, it’s not just a danger to all of them. 

 

It would destroy Gus. 

 

Absolutely break him. 

 

“Does Steve know Gus is missing?” Reed finds themself asking. “If Neolution really wants to fuck with him, they could make him hurt Steve and his daughter.”

 

“Steve knows,” Zoe says, her face ashen. “And he knows about Gus’s past. Evan told him.” She pauses. “Well, whoever’s in control of Evan told him.”

 

“If we’re all getting somewhere safe so Gus can’t find us, then we need to take Steve and his daughter with us as well,” Reed says firmly. “For their safety.”

 

“I might know somewhere,” Seamus says. “Obviously we can’t go back to the hotel we used last time, but there are other options.” 

 

“What about Hannah?” Zoe asks, and she looks completely terrified. “She’s already been attacked twice.”

 

“We’ll figure it out,” Beanpole promises. He looks around the room. “In the meantime, everyone get ready. Put whatever you need together and be prepared to be on the move.”

 

Everyone nods in agreement and starts leaving. Rita looks from Reed to Chiv and back again, her eyes wide. 

 

“Is this kind of thing normal?” she asks, with a half laugh that makes Reed think she’s only half joking. 

 

“Normal’s not really the word I’d use,” Chiv says with a sigh. “But I’m not exactly surprised.”

 

Reed laughs, a little uneasily. “You didn’t sign up for this. I’m really sorry.”

 

Rita rests her head on Reed’s shoulder, then takes Chiv’s hand. “I signed up for you two,” she says, with that calm, no-nonsense tone Reed’s always appreciated. “Whatever happens.”

 

Reed thinks to themself that the sentiment is nice, but would be nicer if it were just in theory.


	44. FORTY-THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A matter of trust.

Charles has to admit, Seamus works fast. It’s barely been half an hour since he left Reed’s apartment and he’s already been given an address of a safe house that’ll take care of all of them. He’s also been in touch with Christina, the doctor who helped Evan recover from his gunshot wound, and she’s agreed to help Jared and Hannah recover, provided they can actually get them out of the hospital. 

 

“That’s going to be a challenge,” Charles admits. “There’s not a doctor in their right mind who’ll discharge either Jared or Hannah right now.”

 

“They’re the easiest targets,” Seamus points out. “They’ve both been attacked, they’re both vulnerable, and we’ve already determined the hospital isn’t secure.”

 

“I’ll talk to Fence and Brewer,” Charles concedes. “Maybe they’ll be able to help.”

 

There’s silence on the other end of the phone call for a moment. “The fewer people know what’s going on, the better. Do we need to tell them?”

 

“Yes,” Charles says immediately. “We really do. At the end of the day, we’re all on the same side.”

 

Seamus doesn’t argue any further, but Charles knows that the older man isn’t exactly the biggest fan of law enforcement in general. He’s always done things a little off book. Perhaps even a lot off book. 

 

Last time it had just been them. 

 

But last time they’d known their enemy a whole lot better. 

 

“We should move quickly, but not all at once,” Seamus advises. “I’ll give you the address so you can start getting your people organized. Especially Lili and Gaelle.” His next words are softer, less brusque. “We’ll do everything we can to make Gaelle comfortable.”

 

Charles hates the idea of this innocent eight year old having to deal with not just her own fear, but the fear of countless other people. 

 

“We appreciate it,” Charles says quietly. “She’s a good kid.”

 

As Charles takes an Uber to the office where he’s meeting Fence and Brewer, he texts Lili to let her know. There’s an almost immediate response, which is simply three words:  _ What about Jared?  _

 

Charles takes a deep breath and replies. 

 

**To:**

**Lili**

_ I’m working on it.  _

 

Fence is doing what looks like paperwork when Charles arrives, and Brewer’s on a phone call. Charles takes a seat at the tiny desk and Fence looks at him with his usual level expression. 

 

“So,” says Fence, looking at Charles wearily, “we found the dentist. Apparently it’s just one dentist named Kyle Pinkett at Happy Smiles Dental Center who’s been installing, but the company who produces the technology is called Helix Tech. We’re going through his records and he’s installed at least fifty of these things in the last year. He called them A-Devs but I have no idea what that even means.” 

 

Charles makes a mental note to have Torpedo look all of that up when they talk next. “Jared woke up,” Charles says, as matter-of-factly as he can manage. “He confirmed that Evan stabbed him, but that it definitely wasn’t really Evan - at one point, the real Evan managed to take back control, but he couldn’t stop whoever it was in charge completely.” 

 

“That tracks with the other reports,” says Brewer, who Charles hadn’t even noticed had finished her call. “We got the police report from the officers who found Evan’s car in Maine, it had absolutely nothing useful in it.” 

 

“I have a lead for you,” Charles says carefully, “but I need you guys to do something for me.”

 

Fence and Brewer exchange a look. “With all due respect,” Brewer says, her voice equally careful, “but that’s not how we do things.”

 

“We’re going into hiding,” Charles explains. “Somewhere safe. But we need to get Hannah and Jared out of hospital so they can come with us. We have a medical professional who’ll be with us to make sure they’re okay, but we know the hospital isn’t secure. And we’ve got to move quickly, because if Neolution manage to get one of those chips into Gus, we’re all in serious danger.”

 

“So you need us to get Hannah and Jared out of the hospital,” Fence clarifies. He and Brewer exchange another look. “We’ll do our best. Tell us about this lead.”

 

“Dr. Cliff Dubois,” Charles says. “He’s in police custody, here in Boston, and he was at DYAD long enough to possibly know something about Neolution. Namely, who else we’d be looking for other than James Haines, because when we look for information about him we’re coming up with nothing.”

 

“Alright,” says Brewer, noting that down. Then she looks at Charles intently. “Now tell me why Gus being controlled by Neolution is so dangerous.”

 

This is where Charles knows he has to tread carefully. Gus’s past isn’t something he should have to keep being punished for. And that’s not all. Charles knows Gus has a green card and the right to live and work in the US, but he doesn’t know if he got any of it legitimately. Considering Seamus and his network, Charles suspects not. 

 

“He was trained as a killer when he was young,” Charles says finally. “Trained to kill other clones by a group of religious extremists who thought that human cloning went against God. Indoctrinated into it, basically brainwashed. He didn’t get away from then until he was 17.”

 

“How young are we talking?” Brewer asks, clearly uneasy. 

 

“Eight.” Charles feels sick as he realizes that’s how old Gaelle is now. 

 

Imagining Gaelle being told she has to kill strangers who look just like her… 

 

It’s horrific. 

 

“How many clones did he kill?” Fence asks sharply. 

 

Charles just stares at him. “It wasn’t his fault. He doesn’t deserve to suffer for it now.”

 

Fence and Brewer exchange another look, then Brewer turns back to Charles. “Gus isn’t under investigation here. We just need to know how dangerous the situation is.”

 

“He knows what he’s doing,” Charles says simply. “He was taught how to kill people. How to find them, how to get the jump on them - if Neolution wants any of us dead, then Gus is the ideal weapon in their hands.”

 

“Going into hiding makes says,” Brewer replies. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I know that none of this is easy.” She sighs, then picks up her phone. “I will see what I can do about Jared and Hannah, but I can’t promise anything.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Brewer stands up and heads to an adjoining office to make a phone call. Fence looks at Charles, and there’s a crease of a frown between his eyebrows. “This safe house you’re going to,” he begins. “How safe is it?”

 

“I trust the people who are helping us,” Charles replies. 

 

The frown just gets deeper. “Look, I know you guys are doing your own investigation. Trying to figure this all out on your own. I know that you’re doing everything you can, and that potentially some of your sources aren’t exactly above board. I get it. You took down DYAD by any means necessary, you’re using the same approach with Neolution. I understand that. But if you’re going into hiding, you need to be even more careful. You don’t have to do this all by yourself. You shouldn’t be doing it by yourself at all.”

 

There’s a part of Charles that wants to believe that the FBI are more than capable of finding out what they need to get Gus and Connor home and safe, to take Neolution down, to end this whole thing so they can go back to their lives. 

 

But at the end of the day, he can’t sit back and do nothing. Can’t just go into hiding and twiddle his thumbs until someone else tells him it’s safe to come out. 

 

He took down DYAD. He knows he can take down Neolution. 

 

And as much as he respects Fence and Brewer, he knows he doesn’t need them to do it. 

 

But he’s not going to tell them that.

 

“Alright,” he concedes. “We’ll lay low.” 

 

Fence doesn’t look like he quite believes him but doesn’t call him out on it. “If you’re confident that you’ve got what you need to keep Hannah and Jared safe without compromising their health, we should be able to get them out. They’re both out of intensive care, it’s just a case of recovery. Moving them could be difficult, but we’ll figure it out. We’ve done it before.” 

 

“Thank you,” says Charles, and he’s honestly grateful. He really does appreciate everything Fence and Brewer have done. But he knows what he has to do. 

 

It would just be a lot easier to lie straight to Fence’s face if it didn’t look exactly like his. 

 

* * *

It’s a hard afternoon.

 

Zoe goes back to the hospital to let Hannah know the plan, and to talk to Ruth and Daniel. Ruth’s more than a little freaked out, and suggests they just take Hannah back home. 

 

“Gus doesn’t know where we live,” Ruth points out. “Hannah would be safe at home.”

 

“But I wouldn’t be able to help,” Hannah argues.

 

“Sweetheart, you’re recovering from major surgery and you have three broken bones. You shouldn’t be worrying about anything except getting healthy.”

 

“Maybe your mom is right,” Zoe points out. Even though she really doesn’t want to let Hannah out of her sight right now, she knows that Ruth has a point. 

 

“I can’t leave, Mom,” Hannah says, in a tone that Zoe recognizes as her ‘don’t argue with me’ voice, “Evan, Connor and Gus are just as much my family as you and Daniel are. I can’t just leave.” Then she looks at Zoe. “And you should know better than to ask me to leave. After everything, do you really think I would?”

 

“You should know better than to just tell me to go home,” Ruth shoots back. “What kind of mother would I be if I left you now?”

 

Zoe’s hit with the realization that if her mother were alive and in this situation, there’s no way she’d be able to convince her to just go back home. 

 

There’s a too-familiar pain in her chest at the thought. 

 

Daniel and Zoe exchange a look, and Zoe’s relieved when Daniel seems to know what she’s thinking. “Mom should stay,” he says decisively. “I’ll go back to college, and Mom will stay with Hannah. You’ll have room for one extra person, right?” 

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Zoe says, before Hannah can argue. 

 

“You don’t have to stay,” Hannah says, her voice a little feeble.

 

“Pretty sure it’s a mom thing,” Zoe replies gently, and a look of guilt and sadness passes over Hannah’s face, and she looks away, and that effectively ends the discussion. 

 

From then on, it’s a bit of a flurry of activity. Daniel stays with Hannah at the hospital while Ruth and Zoe pack back at the apartment. Once they’re all packed, Ruth heads back to the hospital to stay with Hannah during the transfer and Zoe braces herself to drive to Steve’s. 

 

The phone conversation explaining the situation to Steve had been short and to the point. Steve had agreed to come with them almost immediately, and honestly Zoe’s still not sure what to expect. 

 

She takes Pampushka with her. The moment she knocks on the door, it opens immediately and Pampushka goes bounding in, practically tackling Penny into a hug. Zoe can’t help but smile at the obvious excitement both the dog and the little girl have to see each other. 

 

Steve’s there, looking like he hasn’t slept in days, and he’s already packed. Penny has her own cute little pink suitcase and she’s rambling excitedly about a holiday and how good it is to see Pampushka. They all pile into a rental car Zoe’s arranged for the trip when Penny finally asks the question Zoe’s been dreading. 

 

“Is Gus going to meet us there?” 

 

“Gus is away for a while,” says Steve quietly. “We’re going to look after Pampushka with some of his friends.”

 

“Okay,” says Penny, seemingly unbothered. Pampushka is curled up next to her, and it doesn’t take long before Penny’s having a nap in her carseat. 

 

The safe house is about an hour away, and the drive is quiet. 

 

Zoe doesn’t really know Steve, and she’s feeling more and more like they’ve all made a terrible impression. 

 

She’s also still kind of pissed at his reaction to Gus’s past. 

 

Even though deep down, she knows it’s completely justified. 

 

“Once this is all over,” Zoe says, once she’s sure Penny’s asleep and not listening, “you don’t have to have anything to do with us ever again if you don’t want to. We’re doing everything we can to make sure that when this is over, it’s over, and everyone’s safe.”

 

“I can help,” Steve says instantly. “I know my way around computers. If you need research… I can help. I’ve brought my laptop and all my equipment. If there’s anything that needs doing on that end, I can do it.”

 

Zoe hadn’t been expecting that, to be honest. “We’ll talk to Torpedo,” she says. “He might appreciate it. I don’t know.” She lets out a long breath. “All I know is that we have to find them soon. Before they can…”

 

“Before they can hurt Gus,” Steve says softly. 

 

“I don’t think you understand,” Zoe says, realizing that she sounds a little confrontational but not really caring. “Not really. What they did to Gus when he was a kid. What they made him do… it’s haunted him ever since. They tortured him. He spent nine years basically homeless, living in abandoned buildings or under bridges. The woman who was supposed to be taking care of him? She burned him with bleach and told him it was holy water, that it would cleanse him of his sins. He still can’t be around bleach, did you know that? It sends him into a complete panic. They made him kill. They told him that the clones were demons, not even human, and that he had to kill them all to be close to God.” Zoe’s feeling sick the more she explains, and she refuses to look at Steve as she continues. “She made him cut himself. To make him pure. It took him years to drop that habit. Years.” 

 

Zoe’s practically vibrating with anger and disgust. She holds onto the steering wheel tighter, then finally looks at Steve. 

 

Who is deadly pale and has tears in his eyes. 

 

“If Neolution used him to hurt anyone,” Zoe says, slowly and deliberately, “it would destroy him. He doesn’t deserve that.”

 

“He doesn’t,” Steve agrees. “And I’ll do whatever I can to help find him. I promise.”

 

“He doesn’t tell anyone about his past,” Zoe says, her voice sharp. “He dated this guy Joe for three years and didn’t even tell him about the clones. The fact that you know any of this… I still don’t know if we can really trust you.”

 

“I’m not with Neolution,” Steve begins, but Zoe cuts him off before he can continue. 

 

“I know you’re not. It’s not that. I just don’t think I can trust you not to break my brother’s heart.” 

 

It’s quiet for a while. 

 

“I never meant to hurt him.” Steve sighs. “I just… think about it from where I’m standing. I have a six year old. I find out that my boyfriend has a history of murder. If you were in my position, wouldn’t you want some time to figure things out?”

 

“Yes,” Zoe admits reluctantly. “Yes, I would.”

 

“I just said I needed time,” Steve insists. “I didn’t… I didn’t tell him I never wanted to see him again, I didn’t tell him we were done, I just said I needed time.” He looks a little desperate. “You have to believe me when I say that I don’t just… I don’t take any of this lightly.” 

 

“Neither does Gus,” Zoe says. 

 

“Penny has to come first,” Steve says. “That’s why we’re here. I want her safe, and this makes the most sense.”

 

“I get it.” Zoe kind of half laughs. “To be perfectly honest, if it weren’t for your kid, we wouldn’t have invited you to join us in a safe house. We wouldn’t have trusted you.” She looks at him quickly, and she knows she’s glaring. “Just a head’s up, though. If you do anything to break that trust, you’ll regret it. Trust me on that.”

 

“Okay,” says Steve, and Zoe focuses back on the road. 

 


	45. FORTY-FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a casual conversation.

Gus wakes up to the smell of bleach. 

 

It makes his heart race and fills his mind with horrors. 

 

He remembers the burn and the pain and starvation and anger and…

 

No.

 

He will not let himself drown in memories. 

 

He will be strong. 

 

Gus opens his eyes and he takes in what is around him. 

 

It is almost worse. 

 

He is strapped to a chair. 

 

It feels like a nightmare. 

 

A nightmare he has already lived. 

 

The smell of bleach grows stronger as he becomes more aware of his surroundings, and he fights to keep himself calm. 

 

His heart is beating so fast and hard it hurts his chest. 

 

His vision is starting to go blurry. 

 

He is going into a panic attack, and there is no Pampushka to help him, no cups of tea, no kind words from his dad or his brother, no…

 

He is so far from the light. 

 

He can feel the burn, feel the pain on his back. 

 

The smell is so strong. 

 

He cannot move. He cannot escape. 

 

All he can do is try to breathe. 

 

It is not easy. 

 

He can hear the sounds he is making as he tries to breathe. It sounds like he is choking. He is gasping for air. He is feeling light in his head and nothing feels real. 

 

He is alone. 

 

He is so far from the light. 

 

He…

 

He can hear screaming, and it is not his voice. 

 

It cuts through the fog in his mind and he looks for the source of the noise. 

 

It is Evan. 

 

He can see that it is Evan, from the horror on his face. 

 

“Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it!”

 

Gus focuses on his friend. His friend, who is as much a prisoner as he is. 

 

Then he focuses on making sure he is breathing with his mouth and not his nose. 

 

And he cannot smell anything anymore. 

 

The fear does not go away, but it becomes less. 

 

He looks at Evan and sees his expression change. 

 

Sees the moment where it is no longer his friend in control. 

 

Sees the enemy, hiding behind familiar eyes. 

 

“You still hide behind the face of my friend,” Gus says when he has recovered enough to speak. “You are a coward.”

 

“I’m just using the resources available to me,” Adam says, and he sounds as though he does not care at all about anything. 

 

Gus looks closer. He can see this is not true. 

 

Adam is frustrated. Something has not gone well for him, and he is angry. He is taking this out on Gus. 

 

This is why there is bleach in this room, he thinks. It does make sense for there to be bleach - it is like a hospital in here, and there are tools that make it look like someone has tried to do something to Gus while he was asleep. 

 

But Gus is himself. 

 

He is sure of this. 

 

He is in control, even though he is strapped to the chair and unable to move. 

 

He is still himself. He still has control of his body. 

 

Gus looks at Evan carefully and starts to notice that Evan does not look good. He has not recovered well from the car crash. He looks very tired, like he has not slept in some time, and he is also more thin. His skin is so pale it is almost gray. If Gus saw Evan like this and things were normal, he would tell him to go see a doctor straight away. 

 

Gus thinks that what Adam is doing to Evan is making him weak. 

 

Adam using Evan’s body is destroying it. 

 

If something does not change soon, Evan will not survive. 

 

“Thought we’d do some cleaning in here,” Adam says, and now there is a smile on his face, and it is somewhat satisfied. Gus knows he is thinking about the bleach. “Evan didn’t like that one bit. Even though he was the one who gave me the idea. I’d have never known otherwise.”

 

“It is not his fault,” Gus says immediately. He looks at his friend, trying to make his face as serious as he can. “Evan, it is not your fault. Whatever happens to me is not your fault. I know that even though it is your face I see, it is not your spirit.”

 

Adam looks annoyed again. “That’s touching, I suppose.” He gestures to Evan’s body. “The sooner I can stop using this body, the better. It’s running out of time.”

 

“You are killing him. What you are doing is no better than murder.”

 

“True,” Adam says, and the smile is back. “It’s just a little slower. Although it wouldn’t be nearly as bad if he’d just stop fighting me. He keeps fighting and all it’s doing is making things worse for him. Making this body weaker.”

 

Gus understands why Evan is fighting. 

 

He would be doing the same thing. 

 

If Adam gets his way, soon Gus might be doing this as well. 

 

The thought makes him cold, all through his body. The idea that his body is not under his control scares him more than anything else he can imagine. 

 

Gus knows what his body can do. Knows what he has been trained to do from when he is very small.

 

He imagines seeing his own hands wrap around his twin’s throat and having no way to stop them from ending his life. 

 

He imagines seeing his hands, holding a gun to Dad’s head. 

 

He imagines seeing everyone he loves, lying dead on the floor, and knowing that it is his body who does this. 

 

That his body knows how to do this. 

 

That his body has done this before and remembers. 

 

He will fight, too, if this happens. 

 

Even if it makes things worse for him. 

 

Gus understands why Evan fights, even though it is making him weak. Even though it may be the thing that kills him. 

 

It is better to be dead than to not be in control. 

 

A part of Gus is glad he does not have to live with the guilt of having killed Evan, but there is another part that thinks it would have been a kindness. 

 

His friend is trapped. 

 

The man that his twin loves is trapped. 

 

Someone he cares about very much is trapped. 

 

“You know,” Adam says, and the voice he uses is a voice you would use when talking about something that does not matter at all, “your twin seems convinced that your ‘Clone Club’ will find you and get you out of here. For a while, I thought that maybe he knew something I didn’t. So I’ve been sifting through Evan’s memories, trying to find any information I can about them, and… well, maybe they didn’t tell Evan everything, but from the looks of things you guys don’t know a thing about us. None of your little family has even the faintest idea where to start looking for us.” 

 

Gus latches on to the beginning of what Adam is saying. 

 

That he is talking to Connor. 

 

“You say you want to control me like you control Evan,” Gus says. “If this is so, then why do you need Connor? What do you do to him?”

 

Adam’s eyes light up at the mention of Connor, and Gus’s stomach begins to move uncomfortably. “I’m going to use him for parts,” he says, and he sounds so happy Gus is almost sick, right there. “Once he’s healthy, that is. While he’s going through detox, there’s no point. I don’t want any complications. But once he’s healthy… let’s just say that there are plenty of things I can use in that body of his.”

 

Something clicks in Gus’s mind. 

 

He thinks he begins to understand. 

 

“Your body is not healthy. This is why you use Evan. This is why you want to use me. Your body is not healthy at all.” Adam’s face goes dark with anger, and Gus knows he is right. “I think that maybe, your body is never healthy. That it fails you. If Connor and I are born with bodies that do miraculous things, then maybe for you it is the opposite. You are born with a body that does not work the way bodies normally do.”

 

Adam stares at him for a moment, then laughs. It is a cruel, hollow laugh. “Evan spends a lot of time begging me to change my mind about taking your body,” he says. “Telling me that you’re a good man who’s suffered enough. That what I plan to do is wrong, that you’ve had enough pain your life, that you don’t deserve to suffer anymore. I’ve been going through his memories to find out what he knows about you. I’ve heard your whole sad, pathetic story. And do you know what? You should still count yourself lucky. Because even when you were being starved and tortured and forced into killing, you were still whole. You still had a body that you could rely on.” Adam is moving closer to him now, his voice cold and full of anger. “You think you know suffering? You don’t know the first fucking  _ thing _ about suffering.”

 

It is strange to see an expression of such hate on a face that Gus knows so well. 

 

The man in front of him has never looked less like Evan. 

 

“This is why you hide behind someone else’s face,” Gus says, knowing that what he is about to say will anger Adam further, but not caring. “You enjoy having a body that works. Even if it fights you.” He looks Adam straight in the eye. “Neolution found a way to control other bodies. This must have taken much time, much effort, much money. Yet they did not take the time or effort to fix your real body. It is frustrating for you, yes?”

 

Adam moves back like Gus has slapped him. “They did what they needed to do to my body,” he says, and the words come out in a rush, and Gus slowly begins to understand. 

 

He thinks that Adam does not mean to say this. 

 

“What did they do to your body?” 

 

Adam’s face begins to turn red. He scowls. “None of your fucking business.”

 

“If you do not wish to tell me, I am thinking it is not good.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“I hear about things Neolution does,” Gus says. “There is a woman with magnets in her hands. There are people who are more metal than human. They try to improve on nature. Maybe sometimes, it does not work.”

 

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

“You are an experiment to Neolution, Adam. They do not care about you. Not really.” 

 

Adam glares at him. “There are nearly ten thousand people on the east coast of the United States with chips in their teeth that I can jump into whenever I feel like,” he says, with a confidence that does not feel true. “Why would they fix my body when they can give me ten thousand to choose from?”

 

“But only for a short time,” Gus points out. “Not for long. You are in Evan the longest, yes? Look what is happening to him. It will not last. It is not permanent solution.” He smiles. “And is it only you who jump into the people with chips in teeth? I do not think so. They do not do this for you. They do this to show they can. Probably to sell, to make profit. They do not care about you.”

 

“They’re going to fix my real body,” Adam insists. “Now that we have Connor, they’re going to. And when we figure out how to get your body to stop rejecting the technology, I’ll have your body. A body just like mine, only better. The body I was meant to have.”

 

“Rejecting the technology?” Gus asks, and there is something like hope in his heart. “You try to put chip in my tooth, but it does not work. It is not so easy to control me, no?” 

 

“We’ll figure it out,” Adam says, and he is sounding stubborn and young. It reminds him of when he looks after Sofia and she does not want to go to bed. “It’s going to work. And I’m looking forward to it.”

 

“It might not work before you have to give up Evan,” Gus says, and he knows that now he is taunting, but he does not care. “If this is the case, then you will have another to fight. If they let you have another body. Maybe they will make you use your own. Then you will be trapped again, only this time you will know what it is like to not be trapped.”

 

Adam punches him in the face. 

 

It is unexpected. 

 

It is also not a good punch. Gus spits out blood, and can see that Adam’s hand is injured, because he does not do it right. 

 

“You hurt your thumb, because you keep it inside the fist,” Gus says, and he smiles at Adam and enjoys how he pulls back, his face full of fear and shock. 

 

He must look feral, with blood on his teeth. 

 

Normally he would not like this, but Gus does not mind if he scares this man. 

 

They stare each other down for a long time. 

 

“When I’m in your body,” Adam says finally, “I’ll go through your memories. Find out everything about you. Everything you’ve ever thought, everything you never wanted anyone else to know. I’ll go through all of them, and I’ll make you relive every single one.”

 

“Maybe then you will learn how to throw a proper punch,” Gus replies. 

 

For a moment, he thinks Adam will punch him again. 

 

But this does not happen. 

 

He watches Adam’s face, and it falls for a moment - but only a small moment. A split second, where Gus can see something else peaking through. He looks scared and lost and angry. 

 

Maybe it is Evan. 

 

Or maybe it is the true Adam. 

 

Gus does not know. 

 

“I do not blame you, Evan,” Gus says as Adam turns to leave, walking around in a body that is not his. “No matter what happens. I  _ never _ blame you. Be strong. Keep fighting.”

 

Adam looks at him as he stands at the door of the room. He does not say anything, he just opens the door and leaves. 

 

Gus closes his eyes, continues to breathe through his mouth so he cannot smell the bleach. 

 

And he waits. 

 


	46. FORTY-FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Safe as houses.

Torpedo has to admit, Seamus continues to surprise with his resourcefulness. He probably doesn’t want to know exactly how Seamus managed to arrange this, but sure enough, he’s found a house that not only has enough space for everyone to stay comfortably, it’s also far enough off the beaten track to be somewhere no one would think to look.

 

It’s a little spooky, to be perfectly honest.

 

They’re in New Hampshire somewhere, and the house is a little run down but perfectly liveable. When Torpedo arrives, having flown in from his trip to LA, his mom gives him a bit of a tour and directs him to a small office where a Korean guy is setting up a computer.

 

“You must be Torpedo,” says the guy, offering him a weak smile. “I’m Steve. Charles said you might need help with research?”

 

“I guess this is where we’re setting up the command center,” Torpedo jokes weakly. Steve laughs a little at that, and Torpedo pulls out his laptop. They settle in quickly, setting up computers and modems and everything they’ll need. Steve’s focused on what he’s doing, but there’s a sense of melancholy clinging to him that Torpedo can’t help but notice.

 

Torpedo has to admit, he hadn’t been so sure about bringing Steve and Penny along to the safe house. He’d done extensive research into Steve’s background and nothing untoward had shown up, but it just didn’t seem like a good idea to have such an unknown quantity around.

 

Reed had been insistent, though. They’d argued that “Evan” had spent enough time trying to sow the seeds of doubt about Steve that it was probably a sign he was trustworthy. And that he and his daughter needed to be protected if Neolution got their claws into Gus.

 

Now that he’s meeting Steve in person, Torpedo gets the feeling that Steve genuinely cares about Gus. And that this whole situation must be really tough.

 

Especially to someone who didn’t really know what they were getting themself into.

 

“Beanpole’s got some leads he wants us to follow up,” Torpedo says once they’re set up. “There’s a company called Helix Tech who provided the mind control technology to Happy Smiles Dental Center through a guy named Kyle Pinkett. Apparently they called the technology A-Devs, whatever that means. I guess we take it from there and see what we can find.”

 

“We’ll want to follow the money,” Steve says immediately. “Dentists don’t just put random stuff in people’s teeth unless there’s money involved.”

 

“Unless they’re, like, really fucked up dentists.”

 

Steve laughs a little. “Honestly? This whole thing might have put me off dental work for life. Actually, it’s made me feel weird about teeth in general. Penny’s got one loose now, so that’s going to be fun.”

 

“How old is Penny?” Torpedo asks.

 

Steve’s face grows solemn. “She’s six,” he says. “She thinks we’re on vacation. It’s… how do you even explain this whole thing to a six-year-old?”

 

“I don’t think you can,” Torpedo says with a frown. “She won’t be the only kid here, though. There’s Gaelle as well. She’s eight. Maybe they’ll get along.”

 

“Penny’s with her now,” Steve says with a nod. “Last I checked, they’re trying to figure out how many different languages they can count to ten in between them.”

 

“That’s adorable.” Torpedo looks at his computer and takes a deep breath. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

 

Steve offers a dorky mock salute, and Torpedo can’t help but grin a little.

 

They’re going to figure this out.

 

* * *

Dr. Cliff Dubois doesn’t seem particularly surprised to be speaking to the FBI when Drew and Brewer arrive to interview him.

 

He does, however, seem a little taken aback to see a Phanes clone there.

 

“Which one are you?” asks Dr. Dubois, and it’s a blunt enough question to set Drew on edge.

 

“I’m Special Agent Fence,” Drew says, and Dr. Dubois smiles almost immediately.

 

“I always wondered where you’d end up,” says Dr. Dubois with a chuckle that feels almost fond. “Considering the rather memorable name. Noah Fence.”

 

“None taken,” Drew quips, and Dr. Dubois chuckles again.

 

“You probably don’t believe me but I always do enjoy knowing how the Phanes clones are doing,” Dr. Dubois says, and Drew doesn’t think he’s mistaking the fondness in his voice. It’s unsettling, to be perfectly honest. Like he’s talking about a favorite pet. “Not that I see many of you in here, of course. Although I did once spot one of you on television a few years back.”

 

Drew sighs internally as Brewer’s eyes light up. “Oh my god, how could I forget? There was a clone on RuPaul’s Drag Race.”

 

Drew has most definitely not forgotten about that. He and Brewer had only just started working together and she had teased him mercilessly.

 

“Let’s cut to the chase,” Drew says, desperate to change the subject. “We have questions about Neolution. We’re willing to offer you a reduced sentence if you give us information that checks out.”

 

“If those are the terms, I’m more than happy to help,” the doctor says, and his tone is almost pleasant, which is making Drew just a little bit suspicious. “I’m assuming it’s got something to do with your brothers, Agent Fence.”

 

“We’re not at liberty to discuss details of the case,” Drew says automatically.

 

“Of course,” Dr. Dubois replies, his smile more than a little condescending.

 

“Let’s start from the beginning,” Brewer says. “What do you know about Neolution?”

 

“Neolution started off as a movement inside DYAD,” Dr. Dubois says, his voice calm. “Founded by James Haines. I worked with him personally for many years. An exceptionally intelligent man. He was passionate about the Phanes project. He was personally responsible for getting it up and running.”

 

“By that, you mean drugging Bob Buskirk to steal his genetic material,” Drew says flatly.

 

Dr. Dubois just looks at him. “You owe your existence to James Haines,” he says, his voice mild.

 

Drew just looks at him for a moment. “I owe my existence to Bob Buskirk.”

 

“Tell us more about when Neolution broke off from DYAD,” Brewer says, clearly trying to keep things on track. “What caused the break?”

 

“Differences of opinion,” Dr. Dubois says simply. “We were going in separate directions. There were things Neolution wanted to do that DYAD considered… extreme.”

 

Brewer looks unimpressed. “Considering DYAD sliced a clone’s skull open, that’s saying something.”

 

“Neolution was interested in cybernetic enhancements,” Dr. Dubois explains. “DYAD gave them a clone as a baby. He was the first clone to be born, actually. His ID code was AAY2K0 but if I recall correctly, they called him Adam.”

 

“How biblical,” Brewer quips.

 

“Adam was born premature,” Dr. Dubois continues. “For a few months, no one was sure if he’d survive. Some people thought it was unfair for them to have a faulty clone but others thought it was an opportunity to test out experimental technology.”

 

Alarm bells are starting to ring in Drew’s head. “What did they do to him?”

 

“They attempted to install nanotechnology in Adam’s spine,” Dr. Dubois explains. “It was an experimental procedure. It left him paralyzed. So they tried another procedure. And another. None of them were successful. By the time Adam was a year old, he’d gone through at least a dozen different operations. That was around the time that DYAD and Neolution parted ways.” He frowns. “There were plenty of people in DYAD who weren’t happy with what was being done to Adam. There was talk of intervening, trying to stop what they were doing. Neolution hid him before anyone could do anything to stop them.”

 

“So that’s where DYAD draws the line,” Brewer says, and Drew can see she’s a little shaken. “Performing experimental medical procedures on infants.”

 

“Neolution left DYAD,” Dr. Dubois says. “Of their own accord. They weren’t forced to leave. But there were definite differences of opinion, that much I can say. And different methods. DYAD focused more on genetics and genetic modification, whereas Neolution went down the route of cybernetics. We kept tabs on what they were doing in New York in body modification - most of it harmless and cosmetic, sure, but we suspected there was more to it.”

 

“We need to find Neolution,” Brewer says. “The club in New York is a dead end, it’s been closed for over a year. And there’s been no sign of James Haines since 2002.”

 

“That’s because he doesn’t go by James Haines anymore,” Dr. Dubois says matter-of-factly. “You’re looking for James McDonald. He changed his name when he founded Vanir Industries in 2002.” Dr. Dubois looks almost amused. “At the time, Club Neolution was gaining popularity as one of the hottest clubs in New York. Vanir Industries was probably a way for James to try to establish something a little more legitimate.”

 

“Tell us about Vanir Industries,” Drew says. “I’ve never even heard of them.”

 

“I don’t know much about them. DYAD didn’t see them as a threat,” Dr. Dubois explains. “To be honest, it seemed like a strange move at the time. Vanir Industries focused on medical technology manufacturing, none of it particularly revolutionary. They had a couple of lucrative hospital contracts in the mid-2000s. Eventually, DYAD lost interest. Wrote it off as a way of making money.”

 

“It’s worth looking into,” Brewer says thoughtfully. She looks at Dr. Dubois. “Do you know anything about a company called Helix Technology?”

 

“No,” Dr. Dubois admits. “But it’s not uncommon for companies to own other companies. There could be a link.”

 

“Thank you for your time,” Brewer says, after a moment. “We’ll be in touch if any of this pans out. We appreciate your cooperation.”

 

“Don’t underestimate Neolution,” Dr. Dubois warns. “Whether he calls himself James Haines or James McDonald, he’s a man who shouldn’t be crossed. I don’t know what it is you’re trying to find, but you most definitely want to exercise caution.”

 

“We’re well aware,” says Drew, thinking of Evan, Gus and Connor.

 

As they drive back to the office, Brewer is uncharacteristically quiet. Drew doesn’t say anything. He knows that eventually, she’ll burst out with whatever’s on her mind.

 

“I didn’t like the way he talked about you,” she says after a long silence. “You and your clones, I mean.” She scrunches up her nose. “It reminded me of the way my grandmother talks about her cats.”

 

“There are plenty of people who’ll always think we’re less than human,” Drew says, his tone even. It’s something he’s just had to get used to. “I’ve made my peace with it.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to,” Brewer replies, her voice soft and sad.

 

Drew tries not to read into it too much.

 

* * *

Charles spends the first few hours at the safe house checking up on everyone and making sure they’re okay. There’s a surprising amount of space, and everyone seems to be settling in. It’s interesting to see the various dynamics of the group assembled. Some are more interesting than others.

 

For example, Hannah and Jared are temporarily sharing a room, given as they’re both under close observation by Christina. Jared’s asleep most of the time, which is probably just as well because Zoe is not even slightly happy to see him.

 

“I haven’t seen Jared Kleinman since I told him what an asshole he was at his graduation,” Zoe says when Hannah asks why she’s glaring. “That was nearly ten years ago, and honestly it’s way too soon.”

 

“Why do you think he’s an asshole?” Hannah asks, seeming genuinely curious.

 

“When Evan and I became friends after Connor… after we thought Connor was dead, Jared was a real dick about it. He spent all this time telling Evan that they were just family friends and not real friends, but then acted all jealous that Evan was spending time with someone who wasn’t him.” Zoe’s scowling as she continues. “Evan was… really awkward in high school. Way worse than he is now. It was really hard for him to talk to people and Jared was basically his only friend for ages. And he was a shit friend.”

 

“You’re pissed at Jared because he was a dick to Evan in high school?” Hannah clarifies. “Not to be all voice of reason, but… you do realize that Evan stabbed him, right?” At Zoe’s glare, she continues. “I know it wasn’t really Evan, but still. Stabbed.”

 

“It was also ten years ago,” Charles points out. “While Jared is still… sometimes a tad abrasive, I think he has grown since then.”

 

Zoe rolls her eyes. “I just don’t like that he’s all wrapped up in this.”

 

“To be fair, at this point I’m sure he feels likewise.”

 

Reed’s in the living room with Penny, Gaelle and Pampushka, animatedly reading the girls a story. Every now and then, Gaelle asks her mother to explain a word she doesn’t know in English. If Lili isn’t sure, Reed explains the best they can, with Penny jumping in with her own explanation which is about as concise as you could expect for a six-year-old.

 

Penny’s a smart kid, Charles can tell. She clearly adores Pampushka and while a little shy around Gaelle at first, they seem to be warming up to each other.

 

Gaelle seems a little embarrassed when she can’t remember a word or can’t say a word properly, but Penny doesn’t miss a beat. “Halmeoni and Hal-abeoji don’t speak much English, so we speak Korean at their house. I think it’s cool that you speak more than one language. Like me and my dad. And Gus, too!”

 

“It is very cool,” Lili says with a smile, and Charles can tell she likes this kid.

 

“Is Gus going to be here soon?” Penny asks, and the adults in the room tense up.

 

“We hope so,” Charles says, as gently as he can.

 

“Gus is a twin?” Gaelle asks Charles, her eyes wide. Charles nods. Gaelle looks afraid for a moment, then looks at Penny, and doesn’t say anything.

 

Charles appreciates that Gaelle seems to not want to scare Penny, but wishes she didn’t have to deal with this much fear at such a young age.

 

He sits down on the sofa next to Tina, who’s on her laptop. She closes it as he approaches and rests her head on his shoulder. Charles kisses her forehead gently, then wraps an arm around her.

 

“How are you holding up?” she asks, her voice sympathetic.

 

“I’m alright,” he assures her. “Just tired. I feel like we haven’t stopped. This whole time.”

 

“We haven’t,” she points out. “Not really.”

 

They sit there for a while, listening to Reed telling Penny and Gaelle a story while Rita and Chiv play Connect Four in the corner. It’s nice, in a way. It reminds Charles of holidays at the lake house.

 

Except that it’s completely different.

 


	47. FORTY-SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a goodbye.

When Connor wakes up, he has no idea where he is. Everything’s dimly lit and he can hear beeping. He looks around, tries to move and realizes he’s strapped to a bed. 

 

“Hey,” a soft voice says, in a tone that’s soothing but kind of… off. “You’ve got an IV line in to keep you hydrated. Looks like you haven’t been able to keep enough water down and it’s left you in pretty bad shape. Once we get some fluids in you, you should start to feel a bit better.”

 

“Evan?” 

 

The familiar face comes into view, looking mildly concerned. Then Connor remembers. 

 

“No. It’s not him. It’s  _ you,  _ whoever you are.”

 

“I feel like we got off on the wrong foot,” says whoever it is who’s wearing Evan’s body. “My name is Adam.”

 

“You think we got off on the wrong foot,” Connor repeats, not believing what he’s hearing. “Are you fucking serious?”

 

Adam has the nerve to laugh at that. “You got me there.” 

 

Connor tries to sit up, but the restraints won’t let him. Adam notices and hits a button at the side of the bed. It moves to let him sit up and look at him properly. 

 

Connor refuses to thank him. 

 

“How are you feeling? Adam asks, and the tone of concern is so close to the real Evan’s mannerisms that it actually physically hurts Connor. He can feel it right in his chest. 

 

“Fuck off.”

 

Adam looks annoyed for a moment, then forces a laugh. “Evan approves,” he says, in a deliberately mild tone. “Approves that you’re being your snarky little shit of a self. Well, that’s not how he phrased it, exactly. I’m paraphrasing.” 

 

“You’re reading his thoughts,” Connor says, feeling his stomach churn. He can’t imagine what that kind of violation must feel like. 

 

“Loud and clear,” Adam confirms. “They’re all over the place. He thinks fast, your man. Smart, too. He was the one who figured out you were dehydrated and that we needed to do something about that. Personally, I would have just let you power through it, until Evan reminded me that you’re no use to me until you’re healthy again.”

 

“So what are you going to do to me when I’m healthy?” Connor asks immediately. 

  
Adam laughs at that, and this one’s a bit more realistic. “I’m not going to tell you,” he replies cheerfully. “What’s life without a bit of suspense?”

 

He laughs again, then starts coughing, and Connor watches on in mild alarm. Because it’s Evan’s body there, coughing and wheezing and looking paler and frailer than he’s ever seen him before. 

 

Evan doesn’t look good. 

 

He doesn’t look good at all. 

 

He’s wasting away. He looks tired and worn out and Connor’s an idiot for not having noticed it the moment he saw him. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Connor asks sharply. “What’s wrong with him?”

 

“He’s shutting down,” Adam says, and there’s almost sadness in his voice, which is just fucking messed up. “I won’t bore you with the explanation, but the process that lets me control him is taking its toll. It won’t be long now.” Adam laughs again, but it’s soft and kind of shaky. “You know, I might actually miss him.” 

 

“You’re a fucking psycho,” Connor seethes. “A fucking monster, to do something like this to another human being.”

 

“I’m letting you see him, aren’t I?” Adam points out. 

 

“You’re parading his body around like a fucked up Halloween costume. You’re not doing me any favors.” 

 

Adam’s quiet for a moment. 

 

He just looks at Connor. 

 

Connor desperately wants to punch him in the face, but knows he never could. 

 

Not when he’s wearing Evan’s face. 

 

“What if I let you say goodbye?” Adam says, and Connor frowns because it doesn’t make any sense. 

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” 

 

Adam goes over to the door, locks it and slides the key underneath the door. He gives the handle a few experimental tugs, then nods in satisfaction. 

 

“You’ve got five minutes,” he says, and then all of a sudden Evan’s body collapses to the floor. 

 

Connor’s heart slams against his ribs at the sight. The body is still for a moment, then Evan climbs to his feet. He’s shaking. Badly. 

 

And he’s crying. 

 

And Connor knows it’s really him. 

 

“I’m so sorry,” Evan says, and he sits on the edge of Connor’s bed and grabs his hand tightly. “I’m so, so, so sorry.”

 

“This isn’t your fault,” Connor says immediately, and he knows that he’s crying as well. “None of this is your fault.”

 

“Adam’s a clone,” Evan explains in a rush of information. “He’s a clone, and he’s been paralyzed his entire life. Experimented on his entire life. Neolution developed this technology so he could experience what it’s like to have a body that works.” Evan takes in a deep breath and Connor’s struck with the realization that this is taking all Evan has. “I don’t think that’s true. I think they’re just using him to test it and they’ll sell it on. The technology is hidden in people’s teeth, they’re-”

 

“Evan,” Connor interrupts as gently as he can. “Evan, I don’t think I’m getting out of here to tell anyone all of this.”

 

Evan shakes his head. “No. No, you  _ have _ to. And you will. Beanpole won’t give up. Neither will Seamus. You need to survive so you can take these bastards down and tell my mom…”  

 

Connor watches, heartbroken, as Evan dissolves into sobs. All he wants is to put his arms around his fiance, to hold him one last time, but he’s strapped to this damn hospital bed and he can’t. 

 

Evan looks at him, then down at the bed. With shaking, fumbling fingers, he undoes the straps from one of Connor’s arms. It’s all Connor needs to pull Evan close to him and kiss him like he might never kiss him again. 

 

It’s like a rush of electricity and warmth and if this is their last kiss, then Connor wants to burn it into his memory. Every second, every detail, from the scratch of Evan’s stubble on his face to the greasiness of his hair under his fingers to the taste of salt and the all-encompassing feeling of loss. 

 

They had so much more to do. 

 

There was so much more for them. 

 

Together. 

 

“Just hang on, okay?” Connor says when they finally break apart, breathless and teary-eyed. “Just hang on for as long as you can. You’re strong, and if you just hang on, we might get lucky. Someone might find us in time.” 

 

“I will,” Evan promises. “I will. But if this is it-”

 

“This isn’t it for us. This thing between us? It’s so far from over.” Connor kisses Evan’s cheek gently, then squeezes his hand. “You still need to marry me. You promised you would.” 

 

Evan leans in and kisses him again.  _ “If  _ this is it,” he says quietly, and their faces are so close that Connor can see every single freckle on his face, “then you need to know how happy you make me. You need to know how much I love you. And you need to know that I wouldn’t trade a single moment we had together for anything in the entire fucking universe, okay? It was worth it. All of it was worth it. Everything we went through, everything we’re going through now - all of it was and is worth it, and nobody can take that away.”

 

Connor takes in a shuddering breath. “I’m supposed to be the one who’s good with words,” he jokes, and Evan lets out a watery chuckle. “I just… I love you so fucking much. So, so, so fucking much. And I…”

 

Evan pulls back in a sharp, jolting movement, and it’s so violent that Connor’s taken aback. 

 

He wipes his face on the back of his sleeve aggressively. 

 

It’s Adam staring back, and he looks like he’s seen a ghost. 

 

“Time’s up,” he says, his voice shaking. “He said what he needed to say.” 

 

“Fuck you,” Connor says, with all the venom he can muster.  _ “Fuck. You.” _

 

No fewer than five security guards come into the room. Two of them head straight to Connor and strap him back onto the bed before he can even think to do anything. 

 

“That’s the last time I do anything nice for you,” Adam says, in a voice dripping with sarcasm. Then he smirks. “Next time I see you, I might be wearing another familiar face. As soon as we work out some of the kinks, I’ll be upgrading to your twin.” 

 

Connor desperately wants to scream and rage and yell but he’s not giving this asshole the satisfaction. 

 

Instead, he just sits and stares and shakes with anger. 

 

Adam looks at him one more time with eyes he knows so well, then leaves the room with his security team. 

 

Connor can still taste Evan on his lips. 

 

He wants to hang on to hope. He wants to believe it’ll all work out. 

 

But he can’t shake the suspicion he might never see the love of his life again. 

 

* * *

The first full day in the safe house is a long one. Torpedo and Steve are holed up in their tiny office, and Charles barely sees Torpedo all day. Steve, however, pops out regularly to check on Penny, which Charles finds completely understandable.

 

He’d do the same thing if he had a child of his own in this situation. 

 

Charles spends most of the day answering emails and trying to do at least a little bit of work. He and Tina sit in the living room keeping an eye on Gaelle and Penny, who seem to have become great friends. Every now and then, they tell him what’s happening in the story they’re creating with a couple of Barbies, a stuffed frog and some tokens from the Connect Four set. 

 

“This Barbie is the queen of the yellow dots,” Penny informs him solemnly. “The yellow dots all work in the fields and grow marshmallows. But the frog doesn’t like it and he’s going to overthrow the government.”

 

“Fight the power,” says Reed from across the room. They’re on their laptop and Charles imagines they’re probably trying to do some work as well. 

 

It’s rather hard to concentrate, given everything. 

 

About half an hour later, Reed comes to sit next to Charles and Tina on the sofa, their laptop under their arm. Charles closes his and looks at his friend, who has a thoughtful look on their face. 

 

“With everything that’s been happening, we haven’t had a chance to talk about the whole clone fertility issue,” Reed says after a moment of comfortable silence. “Clearly, it’s possible, given present company.”

 

“But it’s rare enough that it’s captured Neolution’s attention,” Charles points out quietly. “Not to mention what that poor child has to deal with emotionally.” 

 

“It doesn’t seem fair,” Tina says, and she looks so sad that Charles simply has to kiss her forehead and pull her closer to him to provide some level of comfort. “And given that there aren’t any other known clone children… is it fair for us to have a child that would have to go through what Gaelle is going through now?”

 

“I can’t answer that for you,” says Reed gently. “Everything along those lines is on the backburner until we deal with the crisis at hand, but Tina’s not wrong.”

 

“It all just seems completely mad,” Charles confesses. “We’re talking about a psychic connection when it boils down to it.”

 

“Maybe there’s a way to turn it off,” Reed muses. “Or mute it.”

 

“We should definitely look into it,” Charles agrees. “We owe the child that much.”

 

There’s a loud burst of laughter from the middle of the room, and the three of them look over to where Penny is holding the head of a Barbie doll. 

 

“What’s going on?” Tina asks with a smile. 

 

“Mr. Frog has taken over,” Penny says matter-of-factly. “The Barbie queen has been beheaded for her crimes.”

 

“It is very French,” Gaelle says with a nod. 

 

“But Mr. Frog doesn’t really care about the dot people, so soon we will have revolution!”

 

“It is also very French.”

 

“Mon dieu!” says Tina with an exaggerated gasp, and Gaelle bursts out laughing all over again. Penny joins in, and Pampushka decides it’s time to pay attention to the girls and comes over for cuddles. 

 

Pampushka has been all over the house. When she’s not sitting with Zoe and Hannah, she’s playing with the girls, or just sitting looking sad by the door. The first time she sat by the door, Penny had announced that she must be waiting for Gus. 

 

It’s more than a little heartbreaking.

 

It’s getting late in the afternoon when Torpedo finally emerges from the office, looking troubled. Steve comes with him and heads straight to Penny who gives him a big hug and tells him all about the yellow dot uprising. 

 

Torpedo walks over to Charles and hands him a stack of papers. 

 

“It’s not just Happy Smiles Dental Center,” he says, his voice grave. “Here’s a list of all the dental surgeries who are being paid by Helix Tech.”

 

Charles flips through the papers and feels his heart sink as he sees how many there are. “Christ,” he mutters to himself. “We can assume that if they’re being paid, they’re implanting chips into innocent people. Who knows how many are out there?”

 

“This is bigger than just Gus and Connor,” Torpedo says. “If they’ve managed to get this chips into people all over the east coast, then basically they have sleeper agents who’ll do whatever they want. This is huge. That technology gets into the wrong hands… who knows what could happen.”

 

Tina takes Charles’s hand and squeezes it tight. “We need to tell Fence and Brewer,” she says, her voice urgent. “I’m pretty sure this counts as a matter of national security.”

 

“Which means that in the grand scheme of things, getting Evan, Gus and Connor out isn’t top priority,” Reed says, looking wary. “I mean, I’m sure they’ll do what they can, but… if it’s the safety of thousands of people compared with just three, then…”

 

“Are you saying that we shouldn’t tell them what we’ve found?” Charles asks Reed, his voice careful. 

 

“Of course I’m not,” Reed replies. “I’m just… this is big. And if we don’t know where they’re keeping Evan, Gus and Connor, we can’t be sure they’re safe. If the FBI takes the whole organization down, they might just kill them and be done with it.”

 

“So we need to find out where they’re keeping them,” Torpedo says firmly. 

 

“Even if we knew,” Reed begins, but they don’t get a chance to finish before Tina interrupts. 

 

“We have to trust that they’ll do their best to keep everyone safe. We have to trust that. This is big.” Tina looks around. “We can’t do this ourselves. If we try, people could get hurt. We need to let the FBI know what we’ve found out and hope for the best.”

 

“If we found out where they were being kept, we could launch our own rescue mission,” Torpedo counters stubbornly. 

 

“How?” Tina asks. “We’d be going in blind. This is bigger than DYAD, and we don’t have the insider information like we did last time.” She shakes her head. “I don’t like the idea of risking our friends, but I think this isn’t something we can handle.”

 

Charles looks around the room for a long moment. At the kids playing on the carpet with the dog. 

 

They’re a room full of scientists and computer geeks. None of them are fighters. None of them are trained for this. 

 

“She’s right,” Charles says to Reed and Torpedo, and leaves the room to call Fence and Brewer before he changes his mind. 


	48. FORTY-SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A head start.

Brewer and Fence meet Charles at a tiny diner half an hour out of Boston. He’s there when they arrive, drinking a cup of tea with a plain folder on the table next to him. There’s a moment before he notices them where Brewer can see just how troubled he looks, and it kind of hurts to see that look on a face that looks like her partners. 

 

She slides into the booth and Fence takes a seat next to her. The waitress comes over and does a double-take to see two identical faces, but regains her composure quickly. Brewer orders a piece of apple pie, Fence orders a black coffee. 

 

Apple pie probably shouldn’t be her usual, but she’s not going to beat herself up about it today. If there’s ever a case that warranted apple pie, it’s this one. 

 

“This is what we’ve found,” Charles says simply, passing over the folder. “It’s a list of all the dental practices who are receiving money from Helix Tech. Based on what you’ve found out so far and the amount of money being given to these practices… well, it’s not just in Massachusetts. There are people all over the east coast.”

 

“Innocent people who are being controlled and forced to do things against their will,” Fence says, and Brewer knows him well enough to know that he’s barely keeping his tone of disgust under control. “This is… this is a lot bigger than we thought.”

 

“I understand if this needs to become to focus of your investigation,” Charles says, and Brewer suspects he’s fighting hard to keep his tone even. “After all, three people who have been kidnapped pales in comparison to thousands of people who have illegal mind control technology in their teeth.”

 

Brewer hates to admit it, but he’s not wrong. They’ll have to report this to their superior officers, and this will quickly become a high priority case. 

 

They don’t even know where Evan, Connor and Gus are being kept. 

 

There’s every possibility they’ll be casualties in all of this. 

 

Brewer knows that the FBI would consider three people acceptable collateral damage. 

 

Even if she hates it. 

 

Fence looks at her, and he’s gone pale, and Brewer knows they’re thinking along the same lines. 

 

“We will do everything we can to save Evan, Connor, and Gus,” Fence says, looking at Charles intently. “But I can’t promise anything. We can’t promise anything. What you’ve discovered is huge. We need to stop Neolution and protect the people who are affected.”

 

“Torpedo managed to hack in and get patient lists,” Charles says. “They may not be entirely accurate but at least you’ve got somewhere to start.”

 

“We can’t just rush in,” Fence says, frowning slightly. “Three people who had the chip in their teeth died. After we found the chips, the cause of death became a little bit clearer. It was some kind of electrical overload to the brain. So not only can those chips control people, they can also kill people.”

 

Charles looks a little hopeful. “We know that Evan’s being controlled,” he says. “Which means he might be near where the technology is being managed from Neolution’s end. Which means that if you find out where they’re based, there’s a chance you’ll find Evan and Gus and Connor.” 

 

“A chance,” says Brewer. “Not a guarantee.” She opens her bag, puts the folder from Charles in it and then hands Charles another one. Before she lets it go, she looks at Fence, who nods. “We’ve decided to give you everything we got from our interview with Dr. Dubois,” she says, her voice careful. “Torpedo found more information quicker than all of our IT team put together. You might be able to help us find where Neolution’s based.” She looks at Charles significantly. “And where your friends are.”

 

“Thank you,” says Charles with a grateful smile. “I’ll be in touch as soon as we find anything.”

 

“You’re all alright?” Fence asks, a look of genuine concern on his face. “Everyone’s safe, no one’s found you?”

 

“We’re all fine,” Charles assures them. He looks at the folder in his hands. “If we’re lucky, soon this whole thing will be over.”

 

Charles finishes his tea, then gets up to leave. Brewer watches him go and takes a bite of her apple pie. Fence moves to the other side of the booth, a little awkwardly, and sips at his coffee, looking thoughtful. 

 

“You were right,” Fence says after a moment. “This case is personal now. I know I don’t really know them, but Gus and Connor are my family.” He looks right at her, his expression grave. “I need to know you’ve got my back on this one,” he says slowly. “That you’ll help me save my brothers. Even if we have to break some rules.”

 

Brewer can’t help but smirk. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talking about breaking the rules.”

 

Fence’s expression doesn’t budge. “Marigold. Please.”

 

“Drew,” she says, looking right at him. “I will always have your back. I can promise you that.”

 

She’s not sure when he grabs her hand and squeezes it tightly, but his hand is warm and strong and she likes the way it feels. “You’re one hell of a partner,” he says, a little awkwardly. 

 

“Right back at you.”

 

* * *

The next time Gus wakes up, there is a pain in his head. It is dull and it is aching and he can taste blood.

 

And he cannot move. 

 

He tries to move his hands. To move his fingers, even though he thinks he is still strapped to a chair. 

 

It does not work. 

 

_ Interesting.  _

 

Gus can hear a voice in his head, and he knows it is not his own. 

 

He starts to feel cold all through his body. 

 

There is someone in his head. 

 

Adam is in his head. In his body. 

 

His body is no longer his own. 

 

He wants to look around but he cannot control his eyeballs. He cannot control the direction he is looking. After a moment, his eyes move and he sees a man carrying a gun standing nearby. 

 

Then his eyes move again, and he sees Evan. 

 

Evan is sitting on a chair. His eyes are open, but it does not look like he is seeing anything. 

 

_ He finally stopped arguing with me, _ the voice says.  _ Don’t worry. He’s still alive, he’s just… not all there anymore.  _

 

Gus wants to kick and scream and yell. Adam has killed him. He has broken Evan’s spirit, even if he still breathes. It is the same as murder. 

 

Adam has killed someone he loves. 

 

When Gus is free, he will kill Adam himself with his bare hands. He will choke the life out of him. He will watch as his eyes go dull and his spirit departs. 

 

_ Don’t count on being free anytime soon, _ Adam says in his head. His voice is taunting.  _ Your body is mine now. And I’ll use it to do what needs to be done. I’ll find your family and I’ll kill them with your hands.  _

 

“No!”

 

Gus feels a rush of hope. 

 

He took control of his voice. 

 

He was the one to yell. 

 

He made a sound, he broke through. 

 

He…

 

Gus feels something change and can move his hands once more. 

 

Evan’s body looks at him, and Gus knows that Adam has returned to the body he has been using. “You’re a lot stronger than he is,” says Adam, sounding frustrated. “But at least we know the technology works. We made it that far, at least.” 

 

“You will not use my body for your evil,” Gus snaps, wrestling against his restraints. “I will not allow it.”

 

“You won’t have a choice,” says Adam with a laugh. “Sure we have some work to do, but once we’re done? You won’t have a choice. And after a while, your mind will give out, just like Evan’s. But the good thing about you is that your body won’t suffer. Not with your regenerative abilities. You’re perfect. The perfect host.” He laughs again. “The things I could learn from that brain of yours! You know how to kill a man with practically nothing!” 

 

“I will fight you all the way,” Gus says fiercely. “I will promise you this.”

 

“I’m sure you will,” Adam replies calmly. “You’ll fight, and you’ll lose.” He smiles with Evan’s face, and looks almost sympathetic. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. It’s you or me, and I choose me.”

 

“Say whatever you must to make yourself feel better,” Gus says. “You know in your heart what you are doing is wrong. If you have a heart, this is.”

 

“I have a heart,” says Adam, and there is a flash of pain on his face. “It needs a bit of help to keep beating, but it’s there.” Then his face brightens. “But I’ve got a transplant coming. Just as soon as your brother’s finished detoxing. I’ll get a new heart and a new kidney and who knows what else. We’ll start rebuilding my real body. We’ll make it what it should be.”

 

“And if you have your real body, then what will you do with me?” Gus asks. 

 

Adam looks a little uncertain for a moment but then smiles. “Apparently there are plans to rent you out. Once we’ve got complete control… well, there are people who’d pay well for an assassin. A killer. Because that’s what you are.”

 

“You have been inside my head,” Gus replies. “You know that that is not what I am.”

 

Adam’s smile falters. He closes his eyes. He opens them again and looks at Gus. 

 

There is something like sympathy on his face. 

 

Something like it. 

 

Gus does not know if it is real.

 

“I’ve seen your memories, yes. I’ve seen what you’ve done, and how you’ve suffered. I’ve seen your dreams and your nightmares and… but your training can’t be argued with. And even though you’ve tried to bury it, it’s strong. It’s right there, under the surface. And it’s not just your mind that remembers your training. Your body does, too. You’ve got instincts. Killer instincts. They’re strong. You fight them, don’t you? You hold them back, you repress them, you try to forget. But they’re there. And there’s just so easy to tap into.” Adam smiles again. “Fight all you want, but your instincts are working against you. There’s something inside of you that’s working against you. And it’s something I can use.”

 

Gus does not reply. 

 

But he is afraid that Adam might be right. 

 

* * *

Zoe has to admit, she’s a little smug about the fact that Hannah can’t stand Jared Kleinman.

 

Hannah and Jared had shared a room for just under 24 hours before Hannah finally cracked and spent a good half an hour trying to convince Zoe that despite the fact that she has a broken leg, two broken ribs and still-healing internal injuries, it’ll be totally fine for them to share a bed so she doesn’t have to keep rooming with Jared. 

 

“Christina doesn’t need to check on me nearly as much as she has to check on Jared, so it’s totally fine if I move,” she’d argued while she and Zoe hung out on the porch, Hannah in a wheelchair. “And he just will not shut up, oh my god. I get that recovering from a stomach injury is boring, and I get that he’s kind of high on painkillers, but if I have to listen to him talk anymore I’m going to finish what Evan started.”

 

“That’s super violent for you,” Zoe points out. “It’s kind of hot.”

 

“Please just let me stay in your room. You’ve got a big enough bed, I’m sure I can fit.”

 

“If Christina says it’s okay, then I’ll help you move,” Zoe concedes. 

 

Hannah pulls her into a kiss. “Best girlfriend ever.

 

Christina was a little dubious about them sharing a bed, given Hannah’s injuries, but she had agreed that Jared and Hannah sharing a room wasn’t working out. After about an hour of discussing logistics, they managed to shuffle the rooms around enough so that Hannah and Zoe were sharing a room but in separate beds. 

 

Once Hannah was settled in their new room, she’d fallen asleep almost immediately, despite the fact that it was barely four in the afternoon. Zoe has a sneaking suspicion she hadn’t slept well the previous night, seeing as she, unfortunately, knows for a fact that Jared snores like a freight train. 

 

With Hannah asleep, Zoe’s at a bit of a loose end. She wanders around the house and spends a bit of time in the living room with Gaelle and Penny, who are telling a very complicated story with a collection of dolls and soft toys and bits from games. As much as she’d like to hang out with some awesome kids, she’s having a hard time focusing.

 

She keeps thinking about what Charles said about the chips. 

 

About how there was no guarantee that the FBI could get Evan, Gus and Connor out safely. 

 

Zoe had been pissed. Properly angry. “They’ve been here since this whole thing began,” she’d said fiercely. “You keep saying we should trust them, but they can’t be sure they can get Evan and Gus and Connor out? That’s bullshit.”

 

“I’m not saying they can’t,” Charles had argued. “I’m saying that it can’t be their top priority. Not if there are thousands of people affected by these chips. They’ve got to make sure everyone’s safe.”

 

“And they can’t do that and save my family at the same time, is that it?”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying, Zoe-”

 

“DYAD killed my parents, Beanpole,” Zoe had said, her voice cold and almost unrecognizable to her own ears. “There is no way I’m letting Neolution take my brothers. No fucking way.”

 

Zoe has lost too many people. 

 

She refuses to lose Gus and Connor and Evan. 

 

Not now. 

 

Not to this. 

 

She remembers her all-encompassing fury at Evan and Connor in the aftermath of what happened at DYAD. How she’d blamed them both for the loss of her parents. 

 

How Gus had helped her when all she’d wanted to do was completely self-destruct. 

 

It took time, but eventually, she’d repaired her relationship with Connor, and later with Evan. 

 

Connor is her brother. They’ve been through too much for her to lose him now. 

 

The same goes for Evan. And for Gus. 

 

There has just been too much loss. 

 

Zoe can’t even begin to consider the possibility she’ll lose three of the people she loves the most. 

 

It would destroy her. 

 

She won’t let it happen. 

 

Zoe heads into the office where Torpedo and Steve are working. They’re both talking animatedly about something and there’s a sense of energy in the room that’s making her take notice. 

 

“I think this is it,” Steve insists. “It’s the best lead we’ve had. Vanir Industries have an off the books facility in Maine. It’s near where they found Evan’s care, it’s not officially listed as one of their assets so it’s perfect if they’re trying to keep it hidden.” 

 

“You’ve found where they’re keeping Gus and Connor and Evan,” she says, her heart racing. “Tell me where it is.”

 

“We need to tell Charles so he can tell the FBI,” Steve says, looking at Torpedo. 

 

“No, what you need to do is tell me where it is so I get a head start,” Zoe says firmly. 

 

Steve looks completely taken aback. “Zoe, you can’t just-”

 

“I can,” she assures him. “I know how to fight. I know how to handle myself. I’m armed, and I’m not running the risk of losing my brothers or my best friend.” She looks at Torpedo intently. “The FBI said they’d do what they can. You know I’ll do whatever it takes.”

 

“You don’t know anything about what you might find in there,” Torpedo says, his voice warning. “You don’t know what you’re getting into.”

 

“Tell me where I’m going.” 

 

“Zoe-”

 

“You want them safe as much as I do,” she insists. “I know you do. Trust me when I say that I can do this.” She smirks a little. “You came to see one of my kickboxing matches. You know I can handle myself.”

 

“You can’t go by yourself,” Torpedo says firmly. “At the very least, you’ll need someone who can call for backup if it all goes to hell.”

 

Zoe raises an eyebrow. “Are you volunteering?”

 

Torpedo bites his lip, then nods. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m volunteering.”

 

Zoe pulls her keys out of her pocket. “Put some shoes on,” she tells Torpedo. “I’ll get my gun and we’ll go.”

 

Steve’s staring, looking like he doesn’t quite believe what’s happening. “You have a gun?”

 

Zoe just looks at him. “Yes. I have a license for it and I know how to use it.” Steve still looks uneasy, and Zoe sighs. “Look, I’m pretty sure you’re going to tell everyone we’ve run off to launch some crazy rescue mission, and you’ve got every right to do that but… just do me a favor and give us a head start?”

 

Steve keeps staring for a long moment, then nods. “You bring him back alive, okay?” he says, his voice pained. “Bring Gus and the others back.”

 

Zoe nods. “That’s the plan.”

 

Hannah’s fast asleep when Zoe goes to get her gun from her suitcase. She stays asleep when Zoe kisses her goodbye and hopes like hell this isn’t the last time she sees her. 


	49. FORTY-EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A reckless rescue mission.

Reed’s sitting in the living room with Tina and Beanpole, listening to Rita tell Penny and Gaelle a story, when Steve comes into the room, his face pale. 

 

“I think I made a mistake,” he says in a rush. 

 

Everyone stops to look at him. “Where’s Torpedo?” Reed asks. 

 

“On his way to Maine with Zoe,” Steve confesses, handing Beanpole a printout with an address. “We found this about an hour ago and Zoe insisted on going. She’s going to get Gus and Connor and Evan out herself. Torpedo went with her.” 

 

“Zoe’s going to do what?” Beanpole says, his eyebrows so high they’re touching his hairline. He looks at Steve, his face accusing. “And you let them go?” 

 

“Zoe insisted she could handle herself,” Steve says, and he’s gone paler. “I just… I’ve been sitting here for the last two hours, trying to figure out what I should do-”

 

“They’ve been gone for two hours?” Tina says incredulously. “Oh my god.” 

 

“Zoe knew you’d try to stop her,” Steve says, and he’s starting to look almost sick. “She wanted a head start. She thought that… she thought that the FBI wouldn’t be focused on Gus and Connor and Evan. That they’d end up as collateral damage.” 

 

Beanpole is already on the phone. He gets up and moves into the dining room, and Reed can hear the beginning of his conversation as he leaves. 

 

“What were you thinking?” Tina says, looking more than a little terrified. “Zoe’s a civilian, for god’s sake.”

 

“She’s also a trained mixed martial arts fighter with a firearms license,” Reed points out, feeling the need to defend Steve. 

 

Honestly, if they’d been in his place, they might have done the same thing. 

 

“But she’s a civilian.”

 

Hannah arrives in her wheelchair, looking tired. “Has anyone seen Zoe?” she asks. “I took a nap and I’ve been looking for her since I got up.”

 

“Your girlfriend kind of decided she wanted to be an action hero,” Reed says, almost apologetically. 

 

Hannah’s face falls. “She went to find Gus and Connor and Evan. How? We don’t know where they are.”

 

“Actually, we’re pretty sure we do,” Steve confesses. “Torpedo and I found a probably location.”

 

“Please tell me Torpedo’s with her, at least,” Hannah says immediately, and Steve nods. Hannah still looks terrified, but there’s a bit of relief there. “Okay. Okay, at least she’s not alone.”

 

“You are way too calm about this,” Tina says, looking more than a little freaked out. “If I found out Charles had pulled something like this I’d be beside myself.”

 

“That’s because it’d be ridiculously out of character for Charles to do this,” Hannah says, her voice resigned. “But this is classic Zoe.”

 

“Do you think she’s going to be okay?” Steve asks, his voice anxious. Reed notices that Penny has gotten off the carpet and now has her arms wrapped around her dad’s leg, her expression fearful. Gaelle has gone over to where Lili’s sitting in the corner and is curled up on her mother’s lap. 

 

“I think if anyone can handle this, it’s Zoe,” Reed says firmly. 

 

“What about Zoe?” 

 

Reed looks to see Heidi and Seamus entering the room, both looking concerned. Hannah turns to look at them. “Guess who ran off on a half-baked rescue mission?” 

 

“Oh my god,” Heidi says instantly. 

 

Seamus’s eyes widen. He looks straight at Hannah. “Did she take her gun?” he asks. 

 

Tina is looking more and more dismayed by the minute. “Wait, Zoe has a gun?” 

 

“She took it,” Steve confirms. “And Torpedo’s there as backup.”

 

“Where are they going?” 

 

“Maine. But they have a two hour head start.”

 

“Give me the address,” Seamus says firmly. “I’m going.” 

 

“I’m going, too,” Heidi adds immediately. 

 

“This is ridiculous,” says Tina incredulously. “The whole point of us being here is so Neolution couldn’t find us. And now we’re sending people right to their door.”

 

“They have our sons,” Seamus says to Tina, his voice sharp. “Now we know where they are, we can finally act.” He lets out a sigh of frustration. “Zoe should have come to us when she found out. We could have made a proper plan.” 

 

“Should haves won’t help now,” Heidi says firmly. “Seamus, go get the weapons and the first aid kit.” As Seamus moves to go upstairs, she turns to Steve. “I’ll need that address, please.”

 

Beanpole walks back into the room, looking drained. “Brewer and Fence are on their way to Maine,” he says wearily. “I tried to call Torpedo as well but he’s not picking up.”

 

“Seamus and Heidi have decided they want in on the insanity,” Tina announces, throwing her hands up in the air like she can’t believe this is happening. 

 

Which, to be fair, is probably exactly what she’s thinking. 

 

Beanpole blinks, then sighs. “Honestly? That’s fair enough. Seamus knows what he’s doing and having Heidi there in case of injuries is sensible.” 

 

Seamus comes back into the room with a bag. “We have to move,” he says insistently. “We’ll do our best to catch up to them.”

 

“They have a two-hour head start,” says Steve, looking more than a little ashamed. 

 

Heidi looks like she’s going to yell at him for a moment, but holds her tongue. Instead, she takes the keys from Seamus and the two of them head out into the evening without another word. 

 

Everything’s quiet for a long moment. Then, out of nowhere, Hannah starts to laugh. The room looks at her in disbelief, and she looks around, a little sheepishly. 

 

“Sorry,” she says. “It’s just… given our track record, is anyone surprised that we’ve got a reckless rescue mission underway?”

 

Reed can’t help but laugh. “Not really, no.”

 

* * *

By the time they get to Maine, it’s dark out. Torpedo hasn’t said much during the drive and that suits Zoe fine, because she’s busy trying to make plans in her head for what she’s going to do.

 

She’s fired a gun before, sure, but never at another human being. 

 

It’s not that she thinks she can’t kill if she has to. Zoe knows herself, knows what she’s capable of. She knows that if she has no choice, that if it comes down to protecting herself and the people she loves, that she won’t hesitate. 

 

But she also knows she won’t kill anyone unless she absolutely has no choice. 

 

She wouldn’t be able to live with herself otherwise. 

 

Zoe pulls both a tranq gun and a Glock out of her gun case and puts on a holster. Torpedo watches with what looks like morbid fascination. 

 

“You have a tranq gun?” Torpedo asks, sounding more than a little relieved. 

 

“Yes,” she replies sharply. “I don’t… I’m not going in guns blazing like some kind of Die Hard wannabe. I just want to get Gus and Connor and Evan out safely.” 

 

“This way you can tranq Evan so we can get the chip out,” Torpedo guesses, nodding. “Smart.” 

 

She nods back. “Yep. I’m hoping that Gus and Connor are in decent shape so they can help me get Evan out of there. Otherwise I might have to call you for backup.” Zoe looks at him intently. “Do you think you can handle that?”

 

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Torpedo says with an eyebrow raised. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think I could handle it.”

 

“I’ll only call you if I’ve got no other options,” she promises. “I know you’re not… exactly an action hero.”

 

Torpedo snorts. “Not even a little bit.” His expression grows serious. “You know that if things get bad, I’ll have to call Beanpole to get Fence and Brewer here.”

 

Zoe nods. “To be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised if they show up anyway,” she admits. “We got a head start, but sooner or later someone’s going to realize we’re gone and Steve’s going to crack.”

 

Torpedo looks a little guilty and holds up his clone phone. “Yeah, they know we’re here,” he says. “My phone’s kind of blowing up. Beanpole’s pissed, by the way.”

 

Zoe steadies herself. “Then I guess I’d better do this quickly.” 

 

Torpedo looks at her, then smiles a little. “Connor said that you’d make a good action hero.”

 

Zoe rolls her eyes. “Sure.”

 

“No, I’m serious,” Torpedo insists. “When he saw your first martial arts match, he and Skyped later that night. He was a little drunk, sure, but he went on this big rant about how you kicked the ass of a competitor three times your size and you were so tough and so smart and knew how to handle firearms and were basically Furiosa.” 

 

“Furiosa?” Zoe repeats, feeling a smile coming on. “I mean, I’m not mad about that comparison.”

 

“I think you’d rock the haircut,” Torpedo says. 

 

“I  _ know _ I’d rock the haircut.”

 

Torpedo laughs, and they sit in the car for a moment. Then in one awkward movement, Torpedo leans over and pulls Zoe into a tight hug. “Please be careful, okay? I just… I don’t want to have to be the one to tell Hannah I let you get yourself killed.”

 

“Furiosa, remember?” Zoe says into his shoulder. “I’m a badass. I’ve got this.”

 

Torpedo just holds her tighter. Zoe thinks he might be near tears. She gives him a kiss on the cheek, then pulls away and heads out of the car and toward the building. 

 

There are two security guards near the front door. Zoe shoots them both with the tranquilizer gun and they go down. Hard. It looks like it hurts, and she feels bad for a moment. 

 

But just for a moment. 

 

Once she’s sure they’re out, she heads over and checks their pockets for keys, access cards and anything else she thinks could be useful. One of them is wearing a uniform sweater that looks like it would fit her. It’s not exactly a master disguise, but it can’t hurt. She takes it off his body and puts it on. It’s a little baggy, but that’s not exactly a problem. It means she can still move well. 

 

Zoe lets herself in through the door and finds herself at a long corridor. There’s a row of doors and she has no idea where to begin, but most of the doors have some kind of window so she starts peeking through them. There are meeting rooms and what looks like a break room and everything’s looking pretty straightforward. Nothing that screams “we’re trying to control people’s minds through their teeth and holding three people hostage”. 

 

At the end of the corridor, she finds a door and goes through to end up overlooking some kind of production floor. There’s a large machine, producing god knows what, and there are workers packing things in boxes and checking them. It looks like any factory Zoe’s ever seen on television. 

 

She keeps going until she finds another door. It’s so nondescript it stands out as unusual, and she needs the swipe card to get through. Once she’s through, it’s another corridor, but this time there are only a few doors, none of which have windows. 

She opens the first door on the left, not knowing what to expect. 

 

It looks like a dentist’s office. And there on the chair is Gus. He’s strapped down and seemingly unconscious. Zoe’s heart leaps to her throat and she rushes right to him and shakes him, trying to see if she can get him to stir. 

 

Gus opens his eyes. He seems a little out of it but recognizes her instantly. 

 

“Zoe?”

 

She nearly bursts into tears in relief. “Gus. Oh my god, Gus, it’s so good to see you.”

 

“Why… how are you here?” 

 

“Torpedo and Steve figured out where Neolution might be holding you,” Zoe says, moving to undo Gus’s restraints. Her hands are shaking and it’s harder than it should be. “So I came to get you.”

 

“Steve?” Gus asks, and he just sounds completely confused. 

 

“Turns out he knows his way around a computer,” Zoe replies with a laugh that sounds more like a sob. “You have no idea how glad I am to see you. Are you okay? Did they hurt you?” 

 

Gus looks at her and blinks a few times. “What are you doing?”

 

“I’m getting you out of here.”

 

“No,” he says urgently. “You cannot let me out.”

 

“I’m getting you out of here,” she says again, undoing the last restraint. “Can you stand?”

 

“You do not understand,” Gus says, his voice coming out in a rush. “I am not…”

 

Zoe watches as her brother changes before her eyes. His expression changes completely, his demeanor changes, and he looks at her with an expression of smug satisfaction. 

 

“He did try to warn you,” says Gus, and he doesn’t sound even slightly like himself, and Zoe realizes in horror that she’s made a grave mistake. 

 

She barely has time to process it before Gus tackles her to the ground.

 

* * *

Inside his head, Gus is screaming. He cannot do anything as his body attacks his sister and tackles her to the ground. Gus sees the moment Zoe realizes that he is not himself, and is heartened when she begins to fight back in earnest.

 

They have sparred many times. They know each other’s patterns. 

 

Zoe has beaten him many times. 

 

But Adam is not Gus, even though he is relying on his instincts. 

 

Gus’s body is physically more strong than Zoe. 

 

Gus does not know if Zoe can beat his body when it is not under his control. 

 

_ This is incredible, _ Adam says, and Gus can hear how happy he is.  _ I didn’t know bodies could do this. It’s amazing.  _

 

Do not hurt her. Do not hurt her. Do not hurt her. 

 

_ She’s beaten you before, but you’ve beaten her, too. In fact, you’re pretty evenly matched. This could be fun.  _

 

Gus focuses everything he has on wrestling control back from Adam. Zoe goes for her gun, but Adam kicks it away from her, then kicks her in the face. Zoe goes down hard, but she does not stay down. Instead, she gets back up and punches him. Adam blocks the punch, but does not see the kick coming. And he goes down, too. 

 

It is dizzying to be a passenger in his body during a fight. All he wants to do is make it stop. 

 

_ I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alive. She’s one hell of a fighter, Gus.  _

 

Do not hurt her. Do not hurt her. 

 

_ I think I’ll enjoy killing her.  _

 

You will have to beat her first. And that may not be so easy. 

 

Adam gets back up and slams into Zoe, who falls backward and knocks over a tray. Adam leaps on her, but has not noticed that Zoe has picked up a scalpel. Zoe slashes at his face, and Adam howls in pain. 

 

It distracts him. 

 

Enough for Gus to fight his way back into control. 

 

He feels the moment his body is his own again. He knows he will only have a moment, only a small window. 

 

Gus wrestles the scalpel from his sister’s hand. 

 

He sees her eyes widen in fear. 

 

Then he opens his mouth and plunges the scalpel into his gums, where the root of his tooth is. He tugs with all his strength. 

 

The pain is overwhelming. He sees white in his vision but he does not let this stop him. 

 

He twists and he pulls and his mouth fills with blood and finally, finally he feels his mind is now deserted. 

 

Zoe looks on in horror. Gus is in more pain than he has felt in a very long time, but he has always been used to pain. 

 

And this pain is more necessary than anything he has ever experienced. 

 

He reaches into his mouth with his free hand and pulls out the tooth that is now free of his jaw. 

 

He crawls his way onto the chair, then puts the tooth down on the table and uses the scalpel to crack it open. 

 

He sees the chip. 

 

It is a small thing. So small to have caused such pain. 

 

It seems to be moving. 

 

There is ice in Gus’s spine at the sight. 

 

“Oh my god, Gus.” Zoe looks around the room frantically, then grabs some gauze and gives it to Gus. “You’re covered in blood. Bite down on this.”

 

“It will heal,” he says, feeling blood pour out of his mouth, before taking the gauze and doing as Zoe has instructed. 

 

“You got it out,” Zoe says, her voice shaking. “You got it out. You… oh my god, Gus, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry you had to… we should have gotten here earlier, we should have…”

 

Gus pulls her into a hug as Zoe bursts into tears. 

 

It is good to have the warmth of another person. 

 

It is only as he blinks that he realizes that he is crying, also. 

 


	50. FORTY-NINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe and Gus go on an adventure.

Zoe honestly can’t with her brother sometimes. Gus just ripped out one of his own teeth with a scalpel and he’s fussing over her, checking to make sure she is okay. 

 

“Gus, I’m fine,” she assures him. “I should be worried about you. You just performed major dental surgery on yourself.” 

 

“Yes, but I have healing,” Gus says, looking over her once more. “You do not.” He looks so sad. “I need to be sure I did not hurt you when I was not myself.”

 

Zoe’s a little bit sore, but she’s not going to tell Gus that. “Of course you didn’t,” she says. “I kicked your ass.”

 

Gus smiles. “Yes. You did. I am very proud.”

 

Zoe has to ask. “How long was… how long did you have someone controlling you?”

 

“Not long,” Gus replies, and his expression is honest and open and Zoe believes he’s not just lying to make her feel better. “They say it is hard to control me.” He gives a lopsided grin. “I am almost as tough as you.”

 

“You’re damn right.”

 

“How are you here?” Gus asks, and there’s a bit of blood coming out of his mouth. Zoe tries to ignore it. 

 

“Torpedo and I drove here from where we were all hiding out,” she tells him, as gently as we can. “We thought they’d try to put a chip in you and make you… we all went somewhere we knew you wouldn’t be able to find us.”

 

“This is smart,” Gus says, his expression sad. “Where is Torpedo?”

 

“He’s in the car.” Zoe pulls her phone out of her pocket. “He’s my backup.”

 

Gus kind of laughs. “Torpedo is your backup?”

 

“If things went wrong, he could call someone,” Zoe says, a little defensively.

 

“We must find Connor and Evan,” Gus says. He frowns. “Also, I must know what they are doing to Pampushka. I do not see her since the crash and they will not tell me anything about her.”

 

“Pampushka’s fine,” Zoe assures him. “She’s at the safe house.”

 

Gus’s whole face lights up in a slightly bloody smile. “She is okay? She is not injured in the crash?”

 

“Remember how you put my phone number on her collar? Someone found her and called me.”

 

“This is very, very good,” Gus says. He looks relieved for a moment, then his expression grows serious. “But we must find the others. When Adam is in my head, he hears my thoughts, but also I hear some of his. I know that Connor has not been harmed.” His face falls. “He may not be well, though. He is detoxing.”

 

“Didn’t he do that before Evan…” Zoe trails off as she realizes what happened. “Never mind. He didn’t stop, did he? He just got better at hiding it. Or we weren’t paying attention.”

 

“When Evan returns, we are all so relieved that we did not notice,” Gus says softly, a look of guilt on his face. “I should have paid more attention.” 

 

Zoe has a million different thoughts running through her mind right now. She’s pissed at Connor, and afraid for Connor, but at the same time, she gets it. 

 

After what happened when their parents died, she really gets it. 

 

“What’s done is done,” Zoe says firmly. “We just need to focus on getting Connor and Evan out of here. Then we can get the chip out of Evan’s tooth. Hopefully a little less violently than yours, though.”

 

There is something about Gus’s expression that makes Zoe stop in her tracks for a moment. “Gus. What aren’t you telling me?”

 

“I have seen Evan many times since I am here,” Gus says softly. “While he is being controlled, it is not him, but sometimes he is strong enough to break through. Adam tells me he is yelling and screaming and fighting him all the way.”

 

“Good,” Zoe says fiercely. “Good, that’s Evan. He’s strong.”

 

“Adam warns me that he cannot fight forever. As I see him more times, Evan’s body becomes weaker and weaker. He fights hard, but it takes a toll.” Gus is pale as he speaks, and there’s so much pain his voice that it makes Zoe’s chest hurt. “The first time Adam takes my body, I am in a room with Evan. And Evan is still. His eyes are open, but he does not see. Adam tells me he has stopped fighting. That his spirit is broken.” There are tears in Gus’s eyes now and the tightness in Zoe’s chest just keeps getting worse. “Adam can still control his body, but I think that his mind… I think maybe he is not there anymore.”

 

“No,” Zoe says firmly. “No, I refuse to accept that. We get Evan out of here and then we do whatever we need to do to get him healthy again.”

 

“There is much damage to his body,” Gus says gently, “but I think even more to his spirit. We must prepare for worst. We must be ready.” He wipes his face. “Connor will need us. He will need us to be strong.”

 

“I’m not giving up on Evan,” Zoe says flatly. 

 

“Neither am I,” Gus shoots right back. “But I know what I see.” 

 

There’s blood all over Gus’s shirt, but there’s not a lot they can do about it now. Gus washes his face in the tiny sink in the corner and spits out the gauze. After a moment, Zoe braves a look in his mouth to see what the damage looks like. 

 

And to be honest, it’s… not bad. She’s expecting absolute carnage but it’s already starting to heal over. When Zoe tells Gus that it looks okay, Gus smiles a little weakly. “Quick healing can be useful sometimes.” 

 

It’s taken a while, but they finally feel ready to move. Zoe has her tranquilizer gun and her Glock and offers them to Gus. After a moment’s hesitation, Gus takes the tranq gun, and Zoe mentally prepares herself for what’s to come. 

 

“I do not know where anything is,” Gus confesses. “I have only ever been locked in rooms.”

 

“This place isn’t that big,” Zoe says. “Apart from the security guards outside and the factory workers, I haven’t seen anyone yet. 

 

“Adam knows we are here,” Gus says darkly. “He will not want us to escape.”

 

They head out of the room and down the corridor, checking the next few doors to find the rooms empty. Then Zoe swipes the last door and it leads them into another corridor. 

 

At the same time, an alarm sounds. 

 

“Fuck,” Zoe mutters. “Okay, we’ve got to find Connor.” 

 

Three armed security guards round the corner. Before Zoe can even react, Gus has shot them with the tranq gun. The alarm keeps blaring and Gus looks to Zoe. “I will need more of the ammunition for this,” he says.

 

Zoe’s a fucking idiot. “It’s in the car,” she says lamely.

 

Gus just stares at her for a moment, then nods. “Alright. We do what we must.”

 

They manage to check two more doors before the next wave of security guards show up. There are three of them, all armed, and Gus pushes Zoe behind him before taking a gunshot to the shoulder, shaking it off and rendering all three guards unconscious in quick succession. Zoe’s barely got time to be impressed before three more guards show up. 

 

She doesn’t even think, she just runs toward the first one and tackles him. A quick jab to the solar plexus leaves him wheezing and she manages to knock him out just in time for a second guard to try to tackle her. 

 

It’s a blur of motion and reaction and kicking and punching and adrenaline and the knowledge that here there aren’t rules, that these people would kill her if they had the chance and she sure as hell isn’t going to let them. 

 

Zoe doesn’t realize what’s happened until she stands next to Gus and surveys the unconscious bodies on the floor. Gus offers her a smile, then they’re back to checking the doors, and find themselves in another corridor. Gus takes the first turn, opens the door and then stops dead in his tracks. 

 

It takes a moment for her to catch up, but when she does she stops as well. 

 

There’s a clone sitting in a chair who’s so frail Zoe’s not sure how the hell he’s alive. He’s bone thin, with skin so pale the veins show through, and he’s covered in scars. One of his arms is made of what looks like some kind of metal, but there are no fingers - it’s just wired into a computer. His lower half is covered in a blanket but Zoe can see that his legs are so thin they look like they’re just bones. What’s most disturbing, however, is that he only has half a face. 

 

The entire right side of his face is encased in metal. There’s a circular device around his head and Zoe thinks she can see some sort of wiring attaching his face to the device. It must have something to do with the mind control. 

 

It’s one of the most horrifying things Zoe has ever seen. 

 

“Adam,” says Gus, his voice calm and gentle. “This is your real self.”

 

The one visible eye focuses on Gus, wide with an unreadable emotion. Then it darts to the screen of the computer, and Zoe sees that there are words appearing. 

 

**I’m sure you understand why we haven’t met face to face until now.**

 

“You don’t talk?” Zoe asks, and immediately wishes she hadn’t. 

 

The clone - Adam - looks a little annoyed. “I…. can,” he says after a moment, his voice raspy and labored, “but… hard.”

 

“You do what is easy for you,” Gus says firmly, never taking his eyes off Adam. 

 

**What is it that you want, Gus?**

 

“We’re getting out of here,” Zoe announces, “and we’re taking Connor and Evan with us. So how about you tell me where they are before I put a bullet through your head?”

 

She can’t tell if the clone is smiling or grimacing. Words flash up on the screen. 

 

**Everything I saw in your head about Zoe was true, Gus. So was everything I saw in Evan’s head.**

 

Zoe glares at him. “Fuck you.” She turns to Gus, whose face is ashen. “He’s not going to help us, we should go.”

 

“Would you want to come with us when we leave this place?” Gus asks, and Zoe nearly drops her gun in surprise. 

 

“Gus. What the actual fuck?”

 

“ERAS can help,” Gus says, his voice gentle. “You see him. You see what Neolution has done to him. He is clone, so he is brother. We must help him if we can.”

 

“Gus,” Zoe says, her voice urgent. “Gus, come on. He took over your body. He took over Evan’s body. From what you’ve said he might have killed Evan. He tried to kill me in your body. We can’t trust him. We can’t take him with us, that’s insane.”

 

**I don’t know what your plan is, Gus, but your sister is right. Taking me with you is insane.**

 

“What has been done to you is cruel,” Gus says firmly. “It is no wonder that cruel is all you know.”

 

There’s a flash of something across the clone’s half-face, but Zoe refuses to let it bother her. 

 

“No,” she says sharply. “No, that’s not a fucking excuse, and it’s not… we’re not cutting this guy any slack. I should fucking kill him right now. Put a bullet right between his eyes…”

 

**You’re not the only people in this facility right now, you know. Your FBI friends are busy shutting things down from the other end of the building.**

 

Gus looks confused for a moment, then looks at Adam’s not-quite hand attached to the computer and nods. “You are connected to the security system. You know what is happening.”

 

**People are evacuating. People who are more important than me. They’ve left me a final mission.**

 

“Which is?” 

 

**I can control the Critters with my mind. All of them. All I need to do is say the word and every single Critter in every single person will self-destruct, killing them instantly.**

 

“Is it only you who has this control?” Gus asks, and his voice is gentle and matter of fact and Zoe has no fucking clue what he’s doing. 

 

This guy needs to die. 

 

Right now. 

 

Before he can kill thousands of people. 

 

**There’s a backup. But I can access it and delete it. If I wanted.**

 

“Gus, he’s fucking with us,” Zoe says instantly. “He’s stalling for time, there’s got to be some on their way to find us.”

 

“Suppose he is telling the truth,” Gus replies. “Why has he not followed his instructions? Why has he not completed his mission?”

 

**They told me they would get me out. But after you stopped our connection and I came back to my body, they told me it was too difficult. The FBI were already here. My body isn’t that easy to move.**

 

“They leave you for dead,” Gus says, his voice sympathetic. “They tell you that you have mission. I know this. I remember this, from when I am small.”

 

**I know you do. I saw it.**

Zoe doesn’t like this. She doesn’t like this at all. “Destroy the backup,” she says quickly. “Destroy the back up, and turn off the Critters, and we’ll let you come with us.”

 

Adam looks at her with that unsettling half-face. 

 

**You’ll kill me the minute it’s done, Zoe Murphy. I’m not an idiot.**

 

“Yeah, well, neither am I. Do you honestly think I’m going to buy you rebelling and having some kind of big change of heart?”

 

**I don’t need you to buy it.**

 

“So what do you need?”

 

**I don’t know.**

 

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

 

**Evan was right. If they really cared about me, they’d have focused on fixing my real body. Not on this technology. I don’t know if ERAS could help me even if they wanted to. At this point I’m more machine than human.**

 

“Like Darth Vader,” Gus says immediately, then looks like he desperately wants to take the words back. 

 

There’s a strange, choking sound that comes from Adam’s body. 

 

It takes Zoe a moment to realize that it might be laughter. 

 

**It might have been alright if they’d let me have a cape.**

 

“Oh my fucking God.”

 

“What is it that you want, Adam?” Gus asks after a moment. “You want us to help you, yes? You use Critters as leverage. There is something you want.”

 

**I don’t think I’m ever going to get what I want.**

 

“Just tell us what you want,” Zoe replies irritably.

 

**More than this. More than this body that I’m trapped in, this computer I’m connected to.**

 

“You’re not getting another person’s body to fuck around with,” Zoe says. “You can’t just… you can’t just take over someone’s body. I don’t care how fucked up yours is.”

 

**Being in someone else’s body is the only time I’ve felt alive. But I couldn’t control Gus. And Evan**

 

The words on the screen stop, and Zoe looks at Adam and his half face and sees that he’s tearing up. 

 

And she’s hit with almost blinding rage. 

 

It burns her up from the inside. 

 

“Fuck you. You don’t get to be fucking sad about the damage you did to my friend. Fuck. You.”

 

**I thought it was only fair, that it was him or me and that I deserved to have a body that works. They told me I deserved this. I was only getting what I deserved.**

 

“When I put a bullet through your head, you’ll be getting what you deserve.”

 

“Zoe,” Gus says gently. He shakes his head. Then he turns to Adam. “You regret what happens to Evan,” he says softly. 

 

**Yes.**

 

“Then that is what makes you human, and not a machine.” Gus moves closer to Adam. “If you tell the Critters to self-destruct, you will be killing many people. You do not want to live with this on your conscience. I know this.” 

 

**I know you do. I saw all of their faces. All of our faces.**

 

“We don’t know anything about this,” Zoe says, trying to get Gus to see some sort of reason. “He could controlling the fucking things with his mind right now and killing thousands of people during this conversation.”

 

“We do not understand how it works,” Gus agrees. “But it is a computer. And we are knowing someone who is good with the computers.” 

 

Zoe just stares at Gus for a moment. “Are you serious?” 

 

“It is is way for us to know,” Gus says firmly. “To keep thousands of people safe.”

 

Zoe doesn’t trust Adam. Not even a little bit. But Gus doesn’t have a chip in him anymore and there’s no way Adam can do anything to Gus physically. 

 

She doesn’t want to leave Gus and Adam alone, but she has to admit Gus has a point. 

 

“I’ll go get Torpedo,” she says. “And he can tell us if this asshole is full of shit.”


	51. FIFTY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was never fair.

Torpedo hadn’t realized just how boring backup was going to be. He’s got his phone plugged into the car charger and is trying to keep himself distracted by beating his own personal high score at Pizza Torpedo, which is proving harder than it should be considering that he created the damn game.

 

He checks the time after losing the pizzapalooza level twice in a row and sees that it’s been about an hour. He doesn’t know if that’s good or bad. It’s not a huge facility from the outside, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a whole mess of stuff underground, so it could be taking Zoe a while to find everyone.

 

Torpedo’s not going to think about the possibility that Zoe’s gotten herself killed.

 

He’s just about to see if third time’s the charm for pizzapalooza when he sees that Zoe’s calling him. He answers immediately.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Zoe assures him. She sounds… pissed off. “We need your help.”

 

“Really? Why?”

 

“We need you to hack into a computer.”

 

Torpedo rolls his eyes. “Of course you do.” He looks at the building nervously. “Do, uh, do I just go in?”

 

“I’m coming to get you,” Zoe says, her tone businesslike. “Just wanted to make sure you’re ready.”

 

As the call ends, Torpedo sees headlights and hears a car coming up to park behind him. He’s instantly on edge. After it stops, he hears doors open and close and his heart starts beating so fast it hurts and he slides down to try and hide so no one can see him and -

 

“Torpedo, I know you’re in there.”

 

It’s muffled, but he can hear a familiar Irish accent. His heart’s still beating fast but at least he knows he’s not going to get shot.

 

Then again, Seamus does sound pretty pissed.

 

He rolls down the window and gives an awkward wave. “Hey,” he says, a little pathetically.

 

“Zoe’s in the building?”

 

“She’s on her way out,” Torpedo admits. “She needs me for a computer thing.”

 

“Do you know if she found them?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Do you know if she’s okay?” asks another voice, and it takes a moment for Torpedo to realize that Heidi’s standing next to Seamus.

 

Torpedo is about to reply when Seamus and Heidi both move away from the window. He opens the door and gets out of the car to see what’s going on and spots Zoe coming toward them.

 

“Oh, thank god,” he hears Heidi murmur.

 

Zoe, to her credit, doesn’t look surprised to see them. “I need Torpedo,” she says briskly. “I don’t want to leave Gus alone in there any longer than I have to.”

 

“You left Gus alone in there?” Seamus asks, his voice sharp.

 

“He’s okay,” Zoe assures them. She’s already walking back toward the building, and Torpedo rushes to catch up alongside Heidi and Seamus.

 

“Is he… did they…”

 

“They put a chip in his tooth,” Zoe says. “But Gus is tough. He fought back control and he ripped it right out.”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

It’s a complicated maze of corridors and rooms, but Zoe seems to know where she’s going. There’s an alarm blaring, and it’s setting Torpedo’s teeth on edge, but no one else seems to be bothered so he just presses on. As they continue around a corner, Torpedo notices there are security guards lying motionless on the floor.

 

He decides not to ask what happened to them.

 

Then all of a sudden, they’re in a small room and there’s Gus. His eyes light up when he sees them and Seamus pulls Gus into a tight hug.

 

“Are you okay?” he asks. “Are you hurt?”

 

“I am okay,” Gus assures him. Gus pulls away, then looks at Torpedo. “We need your help with the computer. We need to know if what Adam is saying is true.”

 

“Adam?” Heidi asks, and it’s only then that they notice the other occupant of the room.

 

Torpedo can’t help but recoil in horror at the sight of the other clone. He takes it all in - the withered limbs, the metal face, the arm attached to a screen.

 

He can see words pop up on the screen as he watches.

 

**I’m telling the truth, but I understand that you’d need to be sure.**

 

“Okay,” Torpedo says, way more than just a little freaked out. “What am I looking for?”

 

“The chips,” Zoe says curtly. “Adam says he can control them.”

 

“Who exactly is this Adam?” Seamus demands, looking as suspicious as Torpedo feels.

 

“He’s the one who took over Evan’s body,” Zoe says, her voice brimming with anger. “He’s the one who used Evan’s body to stab Jared and kidnap Gus and Connor.”

 

“Where is Evan?” Heidi demands, staring right at Adam, her gaze unflinching.

 

Adam stares back. Then an image appears on the screen. It’s a floor plan, clearly labelled with room numbers. Words appear underneath it.

 

**We’re in 3C. They’re keeping him in 4B.**

 

Heidi turns to Seamus. “We need to go get him.”

 

Seamus nods and turns to Gus. “Be careful,” he warns. Then he looks at Adam. “And Connor? Where’s Connor?”

 

The response is almost immediate.

 

**1A.**

 

Seamus and Heidi leave quickly, and Torpedo moves closer to the screen next to Adam’s immobile body. The sight of it is making him feel queasy, so he focuses on the screen. At first, he has no idea what he’s looking at, but a bit of investigation unveils an interface attached that he can use.

 

A message pops up on the screen.

 

**I guess we’ll see if you know what you’re doing.**

 

Torpedo rolls his eyes. He’s not sure what the hell Gus is playing at, but this Adam guy hasn’t made the greatest first impression.

 

* * *

Brewer has to feel sorry for the twenty or so workers who are being escorted off the production floor. She’s fairly certain they have no idea what the organization they work for has been up to, given how bewildered they all look.

 

As they make their way through the facility, they find empty rooms and what looks like hastily left workstations. They have people surrounding the building, so whoever’s trying to make an escape isn’t going to get far.

 

They still haven’t found Zoe Murphy, which Fence is more than a little pissed-off about.

 

“As if we didn’t have enough to deal with,” he mutters as they work their way through the winding corridors. “Now we’ve got a vigilante on our hands.”

 

“She’s so cool,” Brewer says fondly. Fence shoots her a look. “Obviously she’s not supposed to be going all rogue, and as federal law enforcement I disapprove, but as a bisexual woman with eyes, I’m totally into it.”

 

“Oh my god.”

 

“I don’t know if I want to be her or be on her.”

 

“Brewer, _stop.”_

 

They find themselves in yet another corridor, and Brewer goes to open the first door using a set of keys she’d liberated from one of the workmen. It takes a few tries, but eventually, she gets the door open.

 

And there’s one of the twins, strapped to a chair with an IV in his arm.

 

Brewer’s not sure which one but goes over to unstrap him. He looks at her, clearly a little groggy, and frowns, like he doesn’t quite recognize her.

 

“It’s Agent Brewer,” she says quietly. “We’re here to get you out.”

 

He stares at her for a moment, then nods. Once she’s freed one of his hands, he yanks out the IV and winces a little.

 

“Can you walk?” Fence asks.

 

“Yeah,” says the clone, who Brewer suspects is Connor from the accent. “I can, I… did you find Evan and Gus? Are they okay?”

 

“Not yet,” Fence says. “But we will.”

 

Connor still seems kind of out of it, but his expression grows increasingly more concerned. “When they did… whatever it is they did to Evan, to control him, it hurt him. I don’t know if he… he wasn’t doing great. We have to find him quickly, before…”

 

He’s on his feet but he’s shaking. Fence takes one look at him and puts his arm around his middle to support him. “Let’s go,” he says, and Brewer sticks to Connor’s other side and together, they get him out of the room and down the hallway. Connor’s movement gets freer as they go, but it’s still slower going than Fence would like.

 

“Teeth,” Connor says suddenly. “Evan said something about teeth.”

 

“We know,” Brewer assures him.

 

“That’s so fucked up.”

 

“We know.”

 

They keep going down the hallway, and Connor’s nearly back to normal speed. He’s still shaky on his feet, but he’s starting to get some color back, and seems determined to keep up. Brewer checks a few more rooms, including one which seems to be an office, and calls for backup to check it out with her walkie-talkie.

 

She’s going to make sure all three of Neolution’s hostages are safe before doing anything else.

 

There’s another turn, and yet another corridor, and then all of a sudden, they’re not alone. Brewer pulls her weapon on instinct but puts it down immediately when she realizes what she’s seeing.

 

“Dad,” says Connor, his voice grateful. “Have you found Gus?”

 

Seamus rushes toward him and gives him a hug. “I’ve seen him,” he says. “He’s okay.” When he pulls away, Brewer sees that his face is pale. “We found Evan.”

 

“Is he okay?” Connor asks, his tone cautious.

 

“He’s… he’s alive,” Seamus says, and there’s genuine fear in his voice. “But he’s not responding to anything. It’s like he’s not even there.” He clears his throat, and Brewer suspects he’s trying not to cry. “Heidi’s with him. I left to see if I could find a wheelchair or something so we could get him out.” He looks apologetic. “My back’s not what it used to be.”

 

“I think I saw a wheelchair in the last room we were in,” Fence says, and Brewer’s never been more thankful for her partner’s eagle eye. “I’ll go get it.”

 

Fence is gone in an instant. Brewer looks at Connor, who looks like his entire world is crashing down around him. “At least I got to say goodbye,” he says, and Brewer wants to ask what he means but can’t bring herself to do so.

 

Seamus looks at Brewer. “We might have a lead on shutting down the chips,” he says, his tone brisk. “Adam says he can do it.”

 

“Adam?” Connor repeats, in a tone of absolute disbelief. “He’s the one who did this to Evan. He’s the… he’s Neolution. We can’t trust him.”

 

“Torpedo’s checking the computer to see if he’s telling the truth,” Seamus says, and Brewer can tell from his tone that he’s not expecting much. “Gus seems to think it’s worth a shot.”

 

“Adam’s Neolution,” Connor says again. “He put a chip in my fiance and took over his body. He said he was going to do the same thing to Gus.”

 

“They did,” Seamus says, and Brewer can see anger in his face. “Gus ripped it out.”

 

“Why the hell do you think we can even consider trusting this guy?” Connor demands, his expression clearly showing that he thinks everyone is out of their everloving minds.

 

“If there’s a chance that we can shut down the chips and keep everyone safe, then we should take it,” Brewer says.

 

“I don’t buy that he wants to help us,” Connor says firmly. “He told me, right to my face, that what he was doing to Evan could kill him. And he didn’t care. And now you’re saying that he…” Connor wipes his face, then continues. “If he’s not responsive, then whatever Adam did made him that way.”

 

Fence comes back with a wheelchair, as promised, and Seamus ushers them around the corner into a room.

 

It’s empty except for what looks like a dentist’s chair. Evan’s sitting there, staring at nothing. Heidi’s next to him, talking quietly in a soothing tone, but Evan doesn’t seem to hear her.

 

Brewer feels sick.

 

It’s worse than she imagined.

 

Connor lets out a pained noise and rushes to Evan’s side and Brewer feels a lump in her throat that threatens to choke her as Connor brushes Evan’s hair from off his face and kisses him and tells him through sobs that it’s going to be okay, that he’s here, and it’s all too much for Brewer to handle so she looks away.

 

Fence stands in the doorway with the wheelchair, looking as devastated as Brewer feels. “Fuck,” he says, his voice so quiet she can barely hear him.

 

“We should get him in the chair and get him out of here,” Seamus says quietly.

 

“We need to get him to a hospital,” Brewer says immediately. She can see how pale and thin he looks, how he’s more of a shadow than a person.

 

“Will they be able to help?” Seamus asks.

 

Brewer sighs. “I don’t know.”

 

It takes a while, but they manage to get Evan’s unmoving body into the wheelchair. He’s basically dead weight, and no matter what they do they don’t get any reaction from him. Connor is the one to push him, and Brewer suspects that holding onto the chair is also keeping Connor from collapsing.

 

Seamus leads them through the maze of rooms. Finally, they reach their destination.

 

The first thing Brewer notices is a weird circular device. It takes her a moment to notice that it’s attached to a head.

 

And that head is attached to a clone.

 

“This must be Adam,” says Fence, and Brewer has to hand it to him - he sounds pretty calm considering what they’re seeing. Brewer’s reminded of B-movie cyborgs when she looks at Adam, and it’s turning her stomach.

 

Then she notices a screen attached to the body, near the device.

 

**You must be the FBI Agent with the stupid name.**

 

“He communicates with the screen,” says an accented voice, and Brewer notices that another long-haired clone is sitting next to Adam. She’s pretty sure it’s Gus.

 

Brewer looks at Connor, who’s practically vibrating with rage. He’s holding the handles of the wheelchair so tight his knuckles are turning white.

 

Zoe is sitting next to Torpedo, looking at Evan in horror. Torpedo, on the other hand, is caught up doing something on the computer.

 

“I found it,” he announces. “The signal that goes out to all the chips. There’s a constant low-level signal being sent out continuously. I can cut it, but…” he looks at Adam. “There’s a failsafe. It won’t cut unless he lets it.”

 

“He’ll let it,” Zoe says confidently. “Or I’ll blow his brains out.”

 

**Kill me and the failsafe kills everyone with a chip in their head. Including Evan.**

 

Zoe pales, but looks back at Adam. “From the looks of things, you’ve already killed him.”

 

“If you wanted to kill all, you would have done so by now,” Gus says, looking directly at Adam. “What do you wait for?”

 

“Hang on,” says Torpedo, frowning a little. “There’s a kind of… I don’t know, it’s like a firewall, but not like one I’ve ever seen before. Let me… hang on.”

 

There’s the sound of typing, and then all of a sudden Adam’s screen turns white for a moment. Brewer watches as Adam’s one visible eye rolls back into his head, and then he starts to shake.

 

“Fuck,” says Torpedo, his face white. “Fuck, I didn’t…”

 

Adam’s screen is flooded with what looks like some kind of code, moving in constant lines. Torpedo looks at his own screen and frowns.

 

“There are new files,” he says slowly. “There’s information here. About Connor.”

 

Adam’s still shaking, and Gus looks alarmed, but everyone else is focusing on Torpedo. “What does it say about him?” Zoe demands.

 

“They took blood samples,” Torpedo says, his eyes widening almost comically. “There was a theory that Connor’s blood might be able to cause healing in someone else’s body. So they took Connor’s blood, and put it in someone called… J. McDonald. He has lung cancer.” He looks around the room, an expression of shock on his face. “It gave his body enough of a boost to fight off the cancer cells, but only temporarily. The theory is that if they kept Connor alive and took his blood regularly, they could eventually cure the subject.”

 

“Oh my god,” Brewer says as the gravity of what Torpedo’s saying sinks in. “Are you telling me that Connor’s blood could cure cancer?”

 

“Gus’s, too,” Torpedo adds. “It’s all here in the notes. They also… oh.”

 

Adam’s screen is flashing red and he’s stopped shaking but there’s no mistaking the look of horror and anger on the half of his face that’s visible.

 

**They did this. They made me like this. I wasn’t born like this. They made me like this.**

 

“I found Adam’s medical records,” Torpedo says gently. “They told him he was paralyzed at birth, but that’s not true. They botched an operation when he was less than a year old.”

 

**They made me like this. They told me they did everything they could to fix me, but they’re the ones who broke me.**

 

Gus’s face fills with emotion. Immediately, he reaches out his hand to Adam and touches his arm. Brewer notices then that he’s only got one arm - the other is a direct conduit to the computer.

 

As if this whole thing wasn’t horrifying enough.

 

“They theorized that enough of Connor’s blood could completely reverse all damage,” Torpedo says, and his voice is so soft Brewer can hardly hear it. “But the notes here say that they’ve thought about it and decided it wasn’t worth the risk of harming Connor. That giving him Gus’s body was good enough.”

 

**They decided I wasn’t worth fixing. They decided. They decided everything about me. They’ve had me trapped for twenty-seven fucking years.**

 

“I am sorry,” Gus says gently. Brewer looks around to see that Gus is the only one who can look at Adam right now, and privately thinks that’s fair enough.

 

Torpedo looks horribly sad, but it doesn’t stop him from pulling a flash drive from his pocket. “I’ll make a copy of all of this,” he says, looking at Fence and Brewer. “Everything they’ve got. You can use it to bring these bastards down.”

 

“They deserve to pay for what they did,” Zoe says firmly. She looks at Adam. “And so does he.”

 

“He does not have a choice,” Gus counters.

 

“We’ve all got a sob story, Gus! It doesn’t give us a free pass-”

 

“I have killed many people,” Gus interrupts. “Yet I do not suffer the consequences as I should. For my crimes, I should be dead, or locked up. Yet I walk free.”

 

“But that wasn’t your fault,” Zoe shoots back. “You didn’t…”

 

“I did not have a choice,” Gus finishes, his voice grave. He gestures to Adam. “This is no different.”

 

“It’s completely different,” Zoe insists.

 

No one jumps to Adam’s defense, but no one argues with Gus’s take, either. Brewer looks around to see a room full of different reactions. Connor and Zoe both look furious, as does Heidi, but Brewer can tell Torpedo sees Gus’s point. Fence is blank-faced as usual, as is Seamus.

 

Brewer doesn’t know what to think.

 

The silence is interrupted by the realization that Evan is moving.

 

No, not moving. Twitching, maybe seizing.

 

It’s a short sharp movement that’s over in an instant, but it’s enough to get everyone’s attention. Connor reacts immediately and kneels down so they’re face to face. “Evan. Evan. Come on.”

 

“What did you do to him?” Zoe demands, moving ever closer to Adam.

 

“He shut down the chips,” Torpedo says, sounding more than a little shocked. “All of them. And he’s… he’s deleted the backup.”

 

Brewer looks at Adam’s screen to see new words have appeared.

 

**They don’t deserve this.**

 

Evan’s still now, and back to being completely unresponsive.

 

Then all the lights in the room turn red.

 

**Emergency lockdown. I didn’t know that would happen.**

 

“That means we can’t get out,” Fence deduces immediately. “We’ll have to force our way through the doors that have swipe security.”

 

**They want to slow you down. Make it harder for you to find them and make them pay for what they did.**

 

“Torpedo, is there anything you can do?”

 

Torpedo looks at Brewer, then back at the computer. “I can try,” he offers. He pulls out the flash drive. “I’ve got everything on here, but the files are deleting themselves. It’s gotta be another failsafe.”

 

**I can divert emergency power to the security doors.**

 

Everyone’s still for a moment as they read Adam’s latest message.

 

“Where would you divert it from?” Gus asks.

 

The answer is instantaneous.

 

**From my life support.**

 

There’s another moment of quiet.

 

“Works for me,” Connor says, his voice hard, at the same time as Gus shakes his head.

 

“There is another way. I am sure of it.”

 

**Maybe. But I’m tired. I’m so tired. I’m done with this, I’m done with all of it.**

 

“That does not mean you should kill yourself,” Gus says fiercely.

 

**Getting me out of here alive was never going to happen. I don’t even know what would happen if I unplug from this machine. I’ve been plugged in for ten years.**

 

“He’s right,” Seamus says quietly. “I don’t think we could get him out alive.”

 

“No,” Gus insists. “No, there must be something.”

 

**Let me do something heroic and stupid. I’ve never had a chance to be heroic and stupid before.**

 

“This is not right,” Gus says firmly, looking around the room. “It is not right and it is not fair.”

 

**It was never fair.**

 

Adam’s screen goes blank. All the lights attached to the machine he’s plugged into dim. Brewer watches as he lets out a breath, then stops moving entirely, his one visible eye glassy and unseeing.

 

The lights return to normal. Brewer hears a click and realizes that the room has unlocked. She looks around, taking in everyone’s stunned faces.

 

“We need to go,” she says firmly.

 

Fence nods, and starts ushering everyone out. Gus stands there for a moment, looking at the lifeless body of the frail, mechanical clone.

 

Brewer puts her hand on his arm. “He made his decision,” she says quietly. “It might have been the only time in his life he actually got a choice.”

 

Gus hesitates for a moment, then nods, and lets Brewer guide him out.


	52. FIFTY-ONE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gus makes a ham and cheese sandwich.

It’s going to be a long night, that much Drew can tell. He’s got so many questions for Zoe and Torpedo and Gus and Connor and Evan, but there are a million things that need sorting out on the Neolution side of things, so he and Brewer agree that it can wait. 

 

“Go home,” Brewer says to them gently. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

 

Seamus looks at Drew, his expression concerned. “We have a doctor with us at the safe house. Is it… is it best to take Evan there?”

 

“You don’t want to take him to the hospital?” Brewer asks, frowning. 

 

“They might ask questions we can’t really answer right now,” Seamus says quietly. “And I’m not sure there’s really much they can do, anyway.”

 

“You’re probably right,” Drew admits, and there’s a gnawing pit at the bottom of his stomach. 

 

He can’t shake the feeling that he’s failed somehow. 

 

All he wanted to do was get them all out safely. They just hadn’t been fast enough. 

 

Drew helps Seamus and Connor get Evan into the car, trying to ignore the unsettling feeling of the whole experience. The man’s eyes are dead, even though he’s breathing, and if Drew’s finding it hard to deal with then he can’t even begin to imagine what the people who know him well are going through. 

 

“Call us if you need anything,” Seamus says to Drew, shaking his hand. “We want these bastards stopped.”

 

“So do we,” Drew vows. “Travel safe.”

 

He and Brewer watch as the two cars disappear into the distance. Once they’re gone, Brewer lets out a noise that Drew suspects is supposed to be a sigh but comes out more like a sob. 

 

“Oh god,” she says quietly. “I’ve had a lot of nasty cases, but nothing quite like this.”

 

“Yeah,” Drew replies, just as quietly. 

 

Brewer looks at him, her dark eyes full of sorrow. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It must be hard, seeing a face that looks like yours in a state like that.”

 

“It’s part of the clone deal,” Drew replies, as nonchalantly as he can. He can tell from Brewer’s expression that she doesn’t buy his casual attitude. 

 

“It shouldn’t be. It really fucking shouldn’t be.”

 

“No,” Drew agrees. “It shouldn’t.”

 

* * *

Connor remembers what happens next in fragments.

 

He remembers sitting in the back of his dad’s car with Evan sitting next to him, and how his fiance was completely motionless, just staring into nothingness. He remembers how he had to put on Evan’s seatbelt and how wrong it felt and how he grabbed onto his hand and held it as tight as he could the whole drive back to wherever it was they were going from wherever it was they were. 

 

He remembers falling asleep somewhere along the line and waking up with his head against Evan’s shoulder and instinctively moving in to kiss him, expecting him to meet him halfway and then being bitterly disappointed when reality hit. 

 

He remembers whispered conversations from the front seat between Heidi and Seamus, words that didn’t make sense, that didn’t stick in his head, that sounded like so much white noise that he couldn’t tell you a thing about them. 

 

He remembers holding onto Evan’s hand and feeling desperately alone, because he somehow knew that Evan wasn’t there. 

 

Or if he was, he’d gotten lost somewhere. 

 

And he couldn’t find his way back to Connor. 

 

It’s the middle of the night when they arrive at a large house. There’s a crowd of people waiting outside to meet them. Connor hears Zoe’s car pull up next to them and sees Hannah at the doorstep in her wheelchair, and watches as she and Zoe hug and kiss and listens as Hannah tells Zoe that if she’s going to do something stupid and heroic, she needs to tell her first.

 

Connor thinks back to Adam’s words. 

 

**Let me do something heroic and stupid. I’ve never had a chance to be heroic and stupid before.**

 

He doesn’t think he’s ever hated another human being more in his life. 

 

Even if he did turn out to be helpful in the end, this is still his fault. 

 

It’s still Adam’s fault that Evan’s like this. 

 

There’s a hushed silence over the assembled group as Seamus and Connor get Evan out of the car and into the wheelchair. Zoe’s explaining what happened in hushed tones and Beanpole is looking at Connor with such sadness in his eyes that Connor kind of wants to punch him. 

 

Connor’s the one to push Evan’s chair up the ramp and into the house. 

 

He recognizes Christina, the doctor who checked up on them so many years ago when DYAD fell. He was growing back an eye, Evan was recovering from a gunshot wound and things between them were the worst they’d ever been. 

 

Now this time they’re together and they should be stronger than ever, but Evan’s…

 

Evan’s not here. Not really. 

 

Christina’s face falls when she sees Evan. She looks at Connor, then back at Evan, then quietly says that she wants to check both of them out. After a quick explanation about what happened from Seamus, she announces she wants to see Gus, too. 

 

And then they’re in a room and they’re putting Evan onto a bed and Christina’s checking him over, checking his vitals and frowning, and Connor’s lost. 

 

“This isn’t something I’m an expert in,” Christina says, her voice careful, “but if I had to have a guess, based on what’s happened, I’d say there’s some level of brain damage. Whatever they did to control him, it’s caused some sort of trauma. I don’t know if it’s physical or psychological - probably a little bit of both - but it’s… it’s not good.”

 

“Is there anything you can do?” Connor asks, and he knows how pathetic he must sound but doesn’t care. 

 

“I don’t know,” Christina says, and she looks so sad that Connor wants to curl up in a ball in the corner and cry, but that’s not helpful right now. “What I am going to do, though, is set him up with an IV to get some nutrients in his system. If we can improve his physical health somewhat, then maybe he’ll heal enough to… come back to himself. But I don’t know.”

 

Connor barely notices as Christina checks his vitals. 

 

He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this numb. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Christina asks gently. “In terms of your physical health, that is. I understand that emotionally… things are rough.”

 

“I’m fine,” Connor replies curtly. In truth, he’s nauseous and he feels shaky and dizzy and he has for the past however many days it’s been, but that’s nothing compared to how much his heart hurts. 

 

“I need to know what you were taking,” Christina says, and Connor didn’t think it was possible for her voice to get even gentler. “I know you’re detoxing, I just want to get a better idea of what we’re dealing with.”

 

Connor answers her questions with as few words as possible. She takes his blood pressure and his temperature and then asks if it’s okay to take a blood sample, which Connor has no idea what she’s going to do with since this isn’t a hospital, but goes along with anyway. 

 

“From what you’re describing, I think you’re through the worst of it,” Christina says. “But it’s not going to be easy. I’d strongly suggest that you at least think about going into some sort of rehab facility. They’re going to be better equipped to help you work through this.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Connor says firmly. “I’m not leaving Evan.”

 

“We will keep him safe,” Gus says, his voice soft. “You need to make decision that is best for you.”

 

“I’m not… I  _ can’t  _ leave him, Gus,” Connor tries to explain. “Not while he’s like this.”

 

He takes Evan’s hand and squeezes it. 

 

There’s no squeeze back. 

 

“There is chip in his tooth,” Gus says to Christina, gesturing to Evan. “The signals that cause the controlling have been stopped, but I think it is good that we remove it. Maybe if we remove it, he can heal.” 

 

Christina nods. “I’m not a dentist, but I should be able to do it.” She looks at Evan and there’s genuine sorrow across her face. “I’ll give him an anaesthetic. Even if he’s not responsive, the last thing I want to do is cause him more pain.”

 

“Will it knock him out?” Connor asks immediately. All he can think of is Evan’s eyes closing and never opening again. 

 

“I’ll just use a local,” Christina says, and she seems to have picked up on why Connor’s asked. “Normally I wouldn’t do this, but with everything that’s happened… would you like to stay while I take out the tooth?”

 

“Yes,” Connor says, because even though he’s not sure he can take the sight of Evan’s blood, not being near him right now is far more terrifying. 

 

“Before I do that, I need to check where you removed your tooth,” Christina says to Gus, walking over. “We want to make sure there’s no risk of infection.”

 

“Zoe says it begins to heal already,” Gus says, but he obediently sits down and opens his mouth for Christina to inspect. She puts on a fresh pair of gloves and has a look, kind of humming to herself as she does. 

 

“She’s right,” she replies, clearly surprised. “That’s healed up like there was never a tooth there at all. You’ll have a hole in your jaw, I imagine. Unless you regrow a tooth. I have no idea how your regeneration works, you’ll have to keep me updated if it grows back.”

 

Once she’s got her fingers out of Gus’s mouth, Gus replies. “It is most mysterious,” he agrees. 

 

“You’re lucky,” Christina says. She looks over at Evan and her face falls. “I wish that luck was contagious.”

 

Gus’s eyes widen comically and he stands up. “Our blood,” he says, and Connor looks at his twin, utterly confused. “The studies at Neolution. It says it can heal others.”

 

Christina stops in her tracks. “I’m sorry, what?”

 

“There is study,” Gus says, warming to his subject. “They put blood from Connor in a subject who has cancer. It helps him to heal - not cure completely, but it makes him better. There are notes in the computer, and Torpedo has a copy of the computer. You can read them and maybe there is something we can do. Maybe we can use this to heal Evan.”

 

“That’s… let me read the notes. I want to know everything about what they did and how they did it.” Christina’s voice is urgent and a little disbelieving, but there’s a spark of hope there and Connor feels something leap in his chest. 

 

It’s a flurry of activity as Gus goes to get Torpedo and comes back with Heidi, Reed, Beanpole, Hannah and Zoe in tow as well. Reed, Beanpole, Hannah and Christina crowd around Torpedo’s laptop and read through the information, talking animatedly amongst themselves about the science of it all. 

 

Heidi comes to sit down next to Connor, who’s still holding Evan’s hand. She reaches out and puts her hand over theirs. 

 

“Don’t give up,” Heidi says, her voice shaky. “We’ll get him back.”

 

“You can’t know that for sure,” Connor replies, and he knows his voice is even shakier. 

 

“I don’t,” Heidi says with a sad smile. “I need the reminder not to give up just as much as you do.”

 

Connor brushes Evan’s hair off his face. It’s got a bit more of a curl than it usually does, and Connor remembers mornings watching Evan try to tame it in the mirror, his brow furrowed in concentration, letting out the occasional frustrated huff. 

 

He wanted so many more mornings. 

 

They were supposed to have so many more. 

 

Connor just sits there, holding Evan’s hand, as the conversation carries on around him. Nothing anyone’s saying is really registering. It’s just floating around in the air and drifting and nothing’s making any sense anymore. 

 

“Connor?”

 

He looks up at the sound of his name. From the looks on everyone’s faces, they’ve been trying to get his attention for a while. 

 

“I’m going to take the chip out,” Christina says gently. “And then we’re going to do a blood transfusion. I just need to make sure your blood types match. It says in the notes from Neolution that you and Gus are both O-.”

 

“So is Evan,” Heidi says, sounding relieved. 

 

“It’s probably best to take Gus’s blood,” Christina says. “Given the whole detox situation.”

 

Connor nods. “Sure. Okay.”

 

The room empties out again until it’s just Christina, Gus, Connor and Evan. Gus looks at Evan sadly, then back at Connor.

 

“Thank you for doing this,” Connor says. 

 

He realizes as he’s talking that he’s still kind of pissed at Gus. At Gus’s willingness to forgive Adam, to save him, despite everything he did. At Gus’s dismay when Adam sacrificed himself to get them out. 

 

Adam didn’t deserve Gus’s sympathy and he still doesn’t fucking deserve it. 

 

It’s his fault Evan’s like this. 

 

But Gus wouldn’t be Gus if he wasn’t so forgiving. 

 

As much as it pisses Connor off. 

 

“Of course,” Gus says simply. “We cannot be sure what will happen, but… at least we will try, yes?”

 

* * *

When Christina has finished taking blood from Gus, Gus offers to stay with Connor and Evan. Connor tells him he would rather he and Evan are alone for some time, which Gus thinks he understands.

 

Gus also suspects that Connor is not happy with him right now. 

 

That Connor is not happy that Gus wanted to save Adam. 

 

There is still a voice in Gus’s head that yells and screams that it is not fair, that Adam is deserving of a second chance. That underneath, he is a good person, and he is deserving the chance to prove this and escape from the torment of his life. 

 

Gus sees much of himself in Adam. 

 

He leaves the room Connor and Evan are in and realizes he does not know this house, so does not know where to go. He walks around for some time until he finds a kitchen, and realizes that he is quite hungry. 

 

Gus looks at the clock to see that it is nearly four in the morning. 

 

He decides to make a sandwich. In the fridge there is ham and there is also Swiss cheese, which is his favorite cheese, so he makes himself busy making some food and hopes that this will distract him from the thoughts in his head. 

 

He thinks of Connor, and how devastated he is to see the man he loves so broken. 

 

He thinks of how Adam sacrifices himself so they can leave. 

 

He thinks of Evan, and the way his eyes are open but do not see. 

 

He thinks of how it feels to be a passenger in his body, even for a short time, and thinks how Evan has this for a long time. 

 

It is hard. He thinks Adam is deserving of a chance to live and be a better person, but also he is knowing that Adam is the one who causes Evan’s spirit to be so badly broken. 

 

It is hard to want to forgive and exact vengeance at the same time. 

 

There is too much conflict in his heart to fully understand. 

 

He takes a bite of a sandwich, then hears a noise. He looks toward the door and all of a sudden, there is Pampushka. 

 

His heart makes a great leap in his chest and he kneels down to hug his dog. Pampushka licks his face and wags her tail and she is very soft and very good and very happy to see him. 

 

Gus has never been so happy to see Pampushka. 

 

“I am missing you very much!” he says to her with a smile. “I am back now. You are being good girl while I am gone, yes?”

 

“She kept waiting by the door,” a familiar voice says. “Like she was just waiting for you to come back.”

 

In all of what had happened, Gus had forgotten that Steve is the one to help them find where they are being kept. 

 

Steve is standing in the doorway, wearing pajamas. His hair is messy, like he is just waking up, and his face looks like he is very relieved.

 

“You are staying here?” Gus asks, not sure what else to say.

 

“Reed wanted to make sure Penny and I were safe,” Steve says. His face grows solemn. “In case you weren’t really you and they made you come after us.”

 

Gus feels his heart fall. “It is smart that you stay here,” he mumbles. “But I am sorry you must disrupt your life and Penny’s life because of me.”

 

“I know you wouldn’t hurt us,” Steve says, his voice very soft, like he thinks that if he is speaking more loud, the air around them will break. “I know you wouldn’t hurt anyone unless you had to. And I… I’m so sorry about how I reacted, I-”

 

“You are not doing anything wrong,” Gus interrupts firmly. “You hear the story of my past and it upsets you. This is normal. It is upsetting story. You have a child to protect. It makes sense to not trust me.”

 

“I do trust you,” Steve replies immediately. “I do. That’s the thing. When Zoe called me and told me you were missing, I realized that I do trust you. That your past is in the past and it doesn’t matter.”

 

“It matters,” Gus counters quietly. “It is part of making me who I am. But it does not say who I am. My past is… always, is complicated, but I think it is teaching me things. To be kind, and to be strong. To have grace, even when people are not deserving it.” He looks at Steve. “I am not proud of the things I have done. I remember the faces of all I have killed. There are many things that haunt me, that stay with me. I have been through much. But I go through it and now I am me. And I am… I am a good man, I think.”

 

“You are,” Steve says. “You really, really are.”

 

“So are you,” Gus says, and he is more sure than ever that this is true. “You help to find me. Me and Connor and Evan. You don’t have to do this, but you do.”

 

Steve blinks. “Of course I did.”

 

Gus smiles at him. “You are very good. I am very grateful to you.” Pampushka rubs against his leg, and he reaches down to pat her. “Penny is sleeping, yes? She is good?”

 

“She’s good,” Steve assures him. “She’s made a new friend.”

 

“This is good.”

  
Steve kind of laughs and runs his hand through his hair. “I, uh, I should go back to bed. I’m glad you’re okay.”

 

“Would you like half of my sandwich?” Gus says before he can stop himself, holding out the plate. 

 

He does not want Steve to go. 

 

Steve stares for a moment, then nods and moves closer to him. They stand very close, and Steve looks at the sandwich, then at Gus. 

 

Then they are kissing, and Gus does not think about the sandwich any longer. 


	53. FIFTY-TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Different points of view.

When Steve wakes up the next morning, he’s half-convinced that seeing Gus in the kitchen in the middle of the night was some kind of dream. They’d kissed for a while, then Gus had insisted he go back to bed and Steve had managed to stop himself from dragging Gus back to bed with him. 

 

He goes to check on Penny to find she’s not in bed, so heads into the kitchen to see if she’s already up. 

 

His heart leaps in his chest when he sees Gus in the kitchen, Pampushka at his feet, making pancakes like he’s feeding an army. Penny and Gaelle are sitting at the kitchen island, both packing away pancakes like there’s no tomorrow. When Penny spots Steve, her face explodes into a huge smile. 

 

“Dad, look! Gus is here!”

 

“I can see that,” Steve says with a matching smile. He walks over to Gus, who smiles at him a little uncertainly, then kisses him quickly before he can change his mind. 

 

Gus goes pink but his smile gets bigger and less hesitant, and Steve could look at it all day. 

 

“This is the best vacation ever,” Penny says, practically bouncing in her seat. “I get pancakes for breakfast and I have a new best friend and Gus is here and Pampushka is here and it’s so cool.”

 

Steve and Gus exchange a look but neither of them say anything. 

 

It’s probably best that Penny thinks they’re on vacation. 

 

“Morning,” comes a tired sounding voice from the doorway. Steve looks to see… one of the clones coming in. It takes him a moment to place which one he’s looking at because their hair is in a towel and that’s usually how he tells them apart, but once he spots the piercings he knows it must be Reed. 

 

“Good morning Reed,” says Gaelle, who doesn’t seem to have any difficulty telling them apart. “Do you sleep good?”

 

Reed looks exhausted, and Steve is willing to bed they didn’t really sleep at all. After Torpedo and Zoe ran off on a rescue mission and Heidi and Seamus followed them a few hours later, the rest of the adults at the house had unanimously decided to put the kids to bed and try to get some sleep in shifts. Steve had taken the first one and had only woken up when he heard voices. 

 

Before he ran into Gus, he’d seen Seamus, who gave him a run down of what had happened. 

 

Which was enough to make Steve’s head spin, to be perfectly honest. 

 

“Pretty good,” Reed says with a forced bright tone, and from the look on Gaelle’s face she knows they’re lying. “‘How about you?”

 

“Not so good,” she admits quietly. She taps her head. “Many things.”

 

Reed’s face falls and they move a little closer to Gaelle and put their arm on her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” they say quietly. “How is it now?”

 

“Quieter,” she admits. “But there is still much worry.”

 

Penny, bless her heart, doesn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. She’s busy feeding bits of bacon to Pampushka, who is wagging her tail like she hasn’t got a care in the world. 

 

“After breakfast, we’re going to take Pampushka for a walk!” Penny announces. 

 

“If it is okay with your dad,” Gus says in a hurry. 

 

“He can come too,” says Penny magnanimously. 

 

“That sounds great,” Steve says warmly, and Gus smiles at him with that million dollar smile and Steve’s pretty sure there’s nothing else he’d rather be doing. 

 

Reed goes to the fridge and pulls out some soy milk and makes themself a cup of coffee. Gus gestures to the bench, where there are a plate of muffins. “The muffins are vegan,” Gus announces. He smiles at Reed. “I think I am even better at making the muffins vegan than I was when we turn 21.”

 

“Those were really good muffins,” Reed replies and grabs one from the plate. They take a bite and moan enthusiastically. “Oh my god, they’re still warm.”

 

“Did you get any sleep?” Steve asks Gus quietly. Gus shrugs and flips another pancake but doesn’t really answer. 

 

“Gus, guess what?” says Penny loudly. 

 

“What do I guess?” 

 

“Gaelle taught me how to speak French!”

 

“Really?” Gus says with a smile. “That is very cool. What can you say in French?”

 

“Mes chaussures sont plein de fromage.” 

 

“Very good!” Gus says with delight. “I do not know what you say, but it is sounding very French.”

 

“What does it mean?” Steve asks. 

 

Penny shrugs and takes another bite of her pancakes. Gaelle grins, takes another pancake and slathers it with jam before taking a bit herself. 

 

Steve recognizes the word for cheese but that’s about it. 

 

He’ll ask Lili later. 

 

“How are you?” Reed asks Gus quietly. 

 

“I am well,” Gus assures them. 

 

“I stopped in to see Connor and Evan before I showered,” Reed says, their tone cautious. “The transfusion’s done, but there’s no change.”

 

“Transfusion?” Steve asks, confused. 

 

Gus looks at Steve. “It is complicated. Connor and I, we are different to other clones.”

 

“You can heal,” Steve replies, remembering a conversation between Charles and Reed he’d overheard earlier. “I know.” 

 

“Evan is… it is not good,” Gus continues, not looking at Steve. “Much damage from being controlled so long. Neolution did experiments while they had Connor and I and found that our blood can heal others. Only somewhat, but we took their research and found out what they are doing to make this happen. So we give Evan a transfusion of my blood and… we hope.”

 

Steve takes a moment to get his head around this new information. Sometimes it feels like every new thing he learns about Gus and his clones is sending him further into some kind of weird science fiction film. 

 

“The notes did say it wasn’t instantaneous,” Reed points out, “and we still don’t know if Evan’s… we don’t know if the damage is physical or psychological. There’s talk of taking Evan to get an MRI later today, but we’re giving it time.”

 

“Shit,” says Steve, as quietly as he can. 

 

“Dad!” Penny exclaims. “That’s a bad word!”

 

Gus looks at Penny, then back at Steve, and Steve can tell he’s trying not to laugh. 

 

“You’re right, it is a bad word,” Steve says with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

 

“We are not allowed to swear in my house,” Gaelle comments, picking up her glass of juice and taking a sip. “I think it is stupid. Sometimes swearing is the best way to express the feelings.”

 

Steve has to admit, Gaelle’s got a point. 

 

“Here is a pancake for you,” says Gus, handing Steve a plate. “Penny and Gaelle tell me they are most delicious.”

 

“Thank you,” he replies, taking the plate and sitting next to the girls. Penny passes him the syrup and he spreads some liberally over his pancake. 

 

It’s perfectly golden and fluffy and extremely tasty. Gus really knows how to cook a pancake.

 

“I do not know if the others wake,” Gus says conversationally, coming over to join them with his own plate of pancakes, “so when I have eaten, I will put batter in the fridge and I can cook more when I need to.”

 

“Sounds good,” Steve agrees. 

 

The four of them eat in companionable silence, Reed having made a cup of coffee and disappeared with the plate of muffins. Gaelle finishes the last bite of her pancake and looks at Gus, with an expression that makes her look older than her eight years. 

 

“At the end, he changes,” Gaelle says to Gus, her voice serious. “But always, he is half. I know you are sad that he is gone, but you can be happy that he changes.”

 

Steve watches as Gus’s face completely drains of color. “What do you mean?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. “How are you knowing this?”

 

“All of his life, he is very broken,” Gaelle continues. “And he feels that no one cares. But he sees you, before he goes. He sees that you are caring. And it makes him a little less broken. He thinks you are very kind. You and Evan teach him kindness. He is never seeing that, and it is strange to him, but it sticks.” She stares at him with big hazel eyes, and Steve can see that Gus is trembling slightly. “You made him different.”

 

Gus puts his plate down, stares for a moment then leaves the room, Pampushka following close behind. Gaelle’s face crumbles. She looks at Steve. “I do not mean to make him sad.”

 

“I know you don’t,” Steve says soothingly, although he has absolutely no idea what to say in response. “I’m just going to go see if he’s okay, alright?” 

 

Gaelle and Penny both nod, and Steve goes after Gus. 

 

He finds him sitting on the stairs outside, stroking Pampushka’s fur with a troubled expression. Gus looks up when Steve approaches and sighs. 

 

“I am sorry,” he says guiltily. “I overreact. It is… it is strange that she knows this.” He sighs again. “Torpedo explains to me that she is the child of the clone, that she sees and she feels things. It’s strange, but there are many things that are strange, so I do not think too much of it. But to experience this first hand… it shakes me. I am sorry.” He looks at Steve, genuine shame on his face. “I do not mean to upset the children.”

 

“You’ve been through a lot,” Steve says, and honestly, he feels like an idiot the moment he’s said it, because of course Gus has been through a lot. It’s a stupid, obvious thing to say, but Gus doesn’t call him on it. 

 

Instead, Steve sits next to Gus on the stairs and puts his arm around him. Gus rests his head on his shoulder. 

 

In the still of the morning, they sit and let the sun shine on their faces.

 

Together. 

 

* * *

Hannah spends the morning reading and rereading the case notes from Neolution’s experiment with Connor’s blood.

 

It’s completely insane. Completely insane. 

 

She tries to explain it to Zoe, who’s still kind of wired from her adventure the night before and hasn’t really slept. Zoe nods in the appropriate places and seems to be following, but Hannah’s not an idiot - she knows her girlfriend is a million miles away. 

 

“Hey,” she says finally. “Enough about the weird science. Are you okay?” 

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Try that again and make me believe you.”

 

Zoe sighs. “I’m just… I’m pissed off. And I’m pissed off that I’m pissed off.”

 

“Okay,” says Hannah gently. “Want to talk about it?”

 

“Gus wanted us to get Adam out of there,” she says in a rush. “As in Adam, the creepy Neolution clone who took over Evan’s body and is the whole reason he’s basically comatose. Gus wanted us to get Adam out of there and give him a chance at a normal life, and I just… I hate that so much. I hate that he would even consider that.”

 

“You said that Adam turned off his life support so you could get out of the building,” Hannah says, as carefully as she can. “Sounds like he had a change of heart at the end.”

 

“Yeah, but… that shouldn’t matter,” Zoe argues. “The damage he’s done… it might be irreversible. Evan might never…” she trails off and wipes her face and Hannah knows better than to point out that she’s crying, because she can sense that Zoe’s trying really hard to keep it together right now. “If this transfusion thing doesn’t work, that means that Adam all but killed Evan. And Gus still wanted us to save him. That’s… it makes me so, so angry.” She sniffs and continues. “Gus gave this whole speech about how after everything he did when he was a teenager, after all the clones he killed, he shouldn’t deserve a second chance either but… it’s not the same. They’re not the same. Gus is a good person and Adam is a monster.”

 

“Gus is the kind of person to always see the best in people,” Hannah says quietly. “But you’re allowed to feel the way you feel about it. Evan’s your best friend. He’s… he’s supposed to be your brother-in-law. It’s different to Gus and the clones you’ve never met. It’s personal.”

 

“Exactly,” Zoe says angrily. “It’s personal. And Gus should… Gus should care about Evan enough to not want to forgive Adam for this.”

 

“I really don’t think it’s that Gus doesn’t care.”

 

“It’s that he cares too much,” Zoe concedes. “He’s got this big heart, and it’s one of the things I love about him. He took care of me when things were really, really bad, and I lashed out and I hurt people and he loved me and took care of me anyway. Even when I fucked up. Like, really fucked up.” She lies back on the bed and covers her face with her hands. “What does it say about me that I’m pissed he’s forgiving someone I don’t think deserves it? Like, what kind of a horrible bitch does that make me?”

 

“Hey, no,” Hannah says, putting down the laptop and lying down net to her. “Like I said, you’re allowed to feel how you feel. You don’t have to forgive Adam. You don’t have to. Gus feels the way that Gus does and you feel the way that you do, and both make sense. You just… you can’t compare it, not really.”

 

“If Evan recovers,” Zoe says slowly, “then maybe I’ll feel differently. I don’t know. He… fuck, it was horrifying to look at him. He was like a skeleton cyborg. And Neolution made him like that. On purpose. That’s… that’s fucking horrifying.”

 

“It is,” Hannah says. “And you can recognize that what happened to him was horrible but still be upset about what he did. It’s not all or nothing.”

 

Zoe sighs. “It’s like Gus doesn’t even register that what happened to Evan was Adam’s fault. I just… I want him to be angry about it. I want him to hate Adam for it.”

 

Hannah knows she has to choose her words carefully. “From the sounds of things, Gus doesn’t see it as something Adam really had a choice about. And… well, Adam clearly had a change of heart, and that had to come from somewhere, right? If he spent all that time in Evan’s head… maybe some of that rubbed off on him.” 

 

Zoe’s quiet for a while. “Evan cares so much,” she says softly. “He just… he cares so, so much about all of us. He’s got a huge heart and he…” She falls quiet again and Hannah rolls over so she’s looking straight at her, being careful of her ribs. 

 

Zoe bursts into tears. 

 

Hannah wraps her arms around her girlfriend gently. She’s barely holding it together as well. Evan’s one of her closest friends, one of her most trusted colleagues. One of her favorite people in the world, to be honest. 

 

“I spent three years without Evan in my life,” Zoe says through her tears. “Three years. It took us way too long to make things right between us. After everything we’ve been through, after all the hurt and all the drama and everything, it’s not fair that we might have lost him. It’s not fair on anyone. Connor… fuck, how’s he going to… when Evan was missing, he relapsed and starting using again and… how much worse is it going to be now? If we can’t bring him back?”

 

“Even if the transfusion works,” Hannah says quietly, “there’s… Evan’s going to have a rough time. He’s going to need to recover and heal and he’s going to need support, and so is Connor. But they’re not alone. None of us are going to let Connor deal with this alone.”

 

“I should have known Connor was still using,” Zoe mutters. “I should have… I didn’t even check on him, I just wasn’t paying attention. Fuck, I’m such an asshole.”

 

“Hey, no,” Hannah says firmly. “I’m not letting you beat yourself up about this. About any of this. Connor’s an adult, he makes his own decisions, even if they’re dumb ones. And you… do you have any idea how much you’ve done for me over the past few weeks? You’ve kept me safe and you’ve kept me from going completely crazy in the hospital and you’ve just… you are so wonderful and I love you so much.” Hannah leans in and kisses her gently. Zoe responds eagerly, and Hannah lets herself sink into the swooping feeling in her stomach that happens every time they kiss, even after more than six years. 

 

“I love you, too,” Zoe says softly. “So, so, so much.” 

 

“And don’t think I don’t know that you paid all my medical bills,” Hannah continues, because she’s not about to let that go without being brought up. “Zoe. You are just… you are so good and so kind and you care so much, and if you were as awful as you keep saying you are, you wouldn’t know and you wouldn’t care. But you do. You do care and I love you for it. I love you for so many reasons.”

 

Zoe leans in and kisses her again. Hannah desperately wants to just pull Zoe closer, pull her on top of her, kiss her like there’s no tomorrow and feel her body against her own, but she knows she can’t with broken ribs. 

 

Instead, she kisses her back with all the emotion she can muster. When they finally break apart, Zoe runs her fingers through Hannah’s short hair, then takes Hannah’s hand and squeezes it. 

 

“It’s going to be okay, right?”

 

“It is,” Hannah says immediately. “Because I’ve got you. No matter what happens.”

 


	54. FIFTY-THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lost and found.

Fence and Brewer arrive at the safe house in the afternoon. Both of them look exhausted, which honestly isn’t a huge surprise as far as Torpedo is concerned. He hasn’t really slept since they got Evan, Connor and Gus out of Neolution, and he guesses that the two FBI agents had a lot more to do in the aftermath. 

 

They’d gotten back to the house late, but almost all the adults had waited up for their return. Apparently, Torpedo’s mom had been working on an article in her room when Heidi and Seamus found out that he and Zoe had left on a rescue mission, and had not been impressed that she hadn’t come with them. 

 

Not impressed at all. 

 

It’s been a very long time since Torpedo’s been told off by his mother and he can honestly say he hasn’t missed it. 

 

There’d been a short but intensive debrief of what happened at Neolution but most of the focus was on making sure Connor, Gus and Evan were alright. Having seen the dead look in Evan’s eyes and his total lack of response, Torpedo’s more than a little worried. 

 

He really hopes this transfusion thing works but at the same time, he knows better than to get his hopes up. 

 

He’d gone to bed, then lay awake for a while, and he must have fallen asleep at some point because he woke up to find it was daylight and headed into the kitchen to find a barely legible note from Gus that he has gone for a walk with Pampushka, Penny, Gaelle and Steve and that there is pancake batter in the fridge. 

 

So he’d gotten started on cooking pancakes and eventually, the rest of the house rolled in. When Gus returned half an hour later, he took over the cooking, resulting in much nicer pancakes, and that had been that. 

 

Now it’s early afternoon, and the general atmosphere in the house is still a little tense, but mostly like they’ve all let out a collective breath. Zoe and Hannah are in their room, Lili and Gaelle are with Jared, Heidi and Seamus have gone to get groceries with Torpedo’s mom and Gus, Steve, Penny and Pampushka are off on yet another walk, whereas Tina and Rita have gone out to have a cup of coffee somewhere. They’re all a bit more relaxed about the whole safe house aspect, but no one’s scrambling to go home just yet. 

 

When Fence and Brewer arrive, Torpedo makes a pot of coffee and he, Beanpole, Chiv, Miranda and Reed sit down with them in the living room. 

 

“Nice place,” says Fence, with the air of a man who has never been good at small talk. 

 

“It is,” Brewer agrees. She smirks. “Something tells me I don’t want to know how you managed to get it.”

 

“Probably not,” Reed says. They look at Fence and Brewer intently. “So how’s it all going?”

 

“Well,” Brewer begins, looking at Fence, “most of the staff we found in Maine were just factory workers who had genuinely no idea what it was they were making. But we’ve confiscated all the A-Devs. We’ve also started to organize people getting the chips removed - we’re working as fast as possible, in case there is some kind of backup.”

 

“Even if there is, I don’t think there’s anyone else who has the ability to control people with this technology,” Beanpole says immediately. “They figured out that the chips in the teeth mean people can be controlled, but according to their notes, the person doing the controlling needs something installed right into their brain.” He looks at Torpedo and winces a little. “They were looking for a less invasive solution, but they wanted to make sure the technology worked. So they started with Adam.”

 

Torpedo frowns. “I guess from their perspective, Adam’s already had enough done to him. Installing something in his brain is just one more piece of invasive technology.” He feels a little sick at the realization. “Gross.”

 

“They did have a way of controlling people just via a computer interface,” Beanpole points out, “but it wasn’t terribly effective. From the looks of things, that’s how they controlled the three victims we found chips in.”

 

“So what is going to happen now?” says Miranda, looking straight at Fence and Brewer. “With so many people getting chips removed, there will be media. How will this be done and will it be connected to ERAS?”

 

“It doesn’t have to be connected to ERAS,” Brewer assures them. “ERAS might be mentioned in passing, given there’s a connection through DYAD, but we’ll do what we can to keep it as removed from you all as possible.”

 

“What I’m worried about,” Reed pipes up unexpectedly, “is that we know that there was a successful experiment where Connor’s blood was used to treat cancer. The files says it was J. McDonald - that would be James McDonald who used to be James Haines who founded Neolution, right?”

 

Beanpole nods. “That makes sense.”

 

“The fact that Connor and Gus have blood that could serve as some kind of miracle cure,” Reed continues, “that’s the thing I’m worried about the media finding out. And if James McDonald is still out there, then we don’t have a way of controlling that information.”

 

“We have a lead on him,” Brewer assures them. “There’s a team trying to track him down now. All the information we have about him from the Neolution files is that his health is pretty poor, so there’s only so much moving around he can do. We’ll find him.”

 

“Jared says that Evan tells him not to take Gaelle back to Switzerland,” Miranda says, her voice grave. “That he has people in Switzerland. So Neolution must be there, too.”

 

“There’s definitely evidence it’s global,” Fence replies with a nod, “but not to the extent of DYAD. DYAD was huge, Neolution’s nowhere near that big.” He sighs. “Look, I can’t promise you this is all over. But I can say that from here, it’s about cleaning up. We’ve dealt them a big blow by uncovering the A-Dev technology, and once we find James McDonald, I’m confident we can bring the whole thing down.” He looks thoughtful. “From what I’ve read, James McDonald still controls Neolution with an iron grip, even though his health is failing. All accounts say he’s charismatic and intelligent and a born leader. Once we find out what happened to him, it won’t be long before the rest of Neolution crumbles.”

 

“So what can we do to help?” Torpedo asks. 

 

Brewer smiles a little. “You’ve done more than enough. If we need anything, we’ll tell you, but at this point… just look after each other.” 

 

“How’s Evan?” Fence asks, and there’s uncharacteristic hesitation in his voice. 

 

“The same,” Beanpole replies sadly. 

 

“You said you were trying a transfusion of Gus’s blood?” Brewer asks, sounding completely amazed at the idea. “That’s so wild. Do you think it will work?”

 

“Honestly?” Beanpole says. “I have no idea. But we can hope.”

 

Torpedo knows his clone is right. All they can really do now is hope. 

* * *

Connor doesn’t realize he’s fallen asleep until someone gently shakes him awake. It takes him a moment to place his surroundings and what’s going on. He recognizes Christina, the doctor who helped him through growing back an eyeball so many years ago, and remembers where he is.

 

“Sorry to wake you,” Christina says, her voice gentle. “I wanted to touch base with you about your detoxing.”

 

“I’m handling it,” Connor says immediately, even though he’s fairly certain he’s going to puke in the next ten minutes. 

 

“I’m going to be blunt,” Christina says, still in that gentle tone. “You’re going to keep having a rough time, even with your healing abilities. I’d like to start you on suboxone. It should make things a whole lot easier.”

 

Given everything that’s been going on, Connor feels like his drug problem should be the least of his worries. But he’s tired and he’s sick and he’s scared and his fiance is practically comatose and there’s so much he can’t control right now. 

 

So maybe he should take the help that’s being offered here. 

 

“Okay,” he says, nodding. “That sounds good, yeah.”

 

Christina sits down next to him, then hands him a small thin packet. “I don’t know if you’ve had this before, but it’s like a thin strip you let dissolve under your tongue.”

 

Connor nods then opens up the packaging and puts the film under his tongue as instructed. Christina takes the packaging from him and throws it toward the bin across the room. 

 

It lands perfectly. 

 

Connor’s almost impressed. 

 

“Melody’s going to be here later today,” she says, and her voice is still just so gentle, like she thinks he might break. “I think you should really talk with her about what’s been going on. She can help you make a plan for how we’re going to keep you healthy.” She pauses for a moment. “I’ve also looked into some rehab facilities that might work for you. I’ve got a list, and Torpedo’s looking into them to check staff backgrounds and things like that. We want to make sure you’re safe.”

 

“I can’t go to rehab,” Connor says instantly. “I can’t… while Evan’s here, I can’t go. I just can’t.”

 

Christina’s quiet for a long moment, then she looks at him. “I’m going to be blunt again,” she says, her voice even more gentle. “Even if the transfusion helps, Evan could have a long road toward recovery. What he went through was incredibly traumatic, not to mention something we know very little about. It’s possible that he might continue to be non-responsive for a long time. Recovery for brain trauma can take months, even years.” She takes a breath and lets it out. “I get it. If it were Melody in this situation, I wouldn’t want to leave her. But what you need to consider is that you can’t put your own recovery on hold because of what’s happening here, and you not taking the time to look after yourself could cause more harm than good.” 

 

Connor tries to take in what Christina’s saying, but it doesn’t make sense in his brain. 

 

He’s prepared to sit here until Evan responds. Until Evan comes back. 

 

But he might not. 

 

This could be it. This could be how Evan is for the rest of his life.

 

“What happens if he stays non-responsive?” Connor asks, not sure if he wants to know the answer. 

 

Christina sighs. “We could be looking at a situation where he needs constant care. Constant, round the clock care. And that’s something that could be a full time job that you’re just not capable of. Not right now. We may need to look at option for taking care of him.”

 

“You mean like some kind of facility or home?”

 

“Yes.”

 

It’s still not making sense in his brain. 

 

The idea that this might be it. 

 

That he might never get Evan back. 

 

That all he’ll have is this shell where he used to be. 

 

Christina smiles sadly and touches his arm gently. “All we can do is just wait and see,” she says. She stands up and looks at Evan, then back to Connor. “I need to check Evan’s vitals and I want to do a few more tests. Why don’t you take the opportunity to shower and have something to eat?”

 

Connor blinks. “A shower. Yeah, that could be good.”

 

“You’re a little ripe,” Christina says with a hint of a real smile. “Maybe go do that. If Evan responds to this transfusion, the last thing you want is for him to tell you how bad you smell.”

 

Connor doesn’t laugh, not really, but he makes a sound that he is thinks is trying to express humor. Awkwardly, he gets up from the chair, realizing as he does that at age twenty-seven, he really shouldn’t be sleeping in chairs, and heads out into the main part of the house. 

 

It’s then that he realizes that while he knows where the bathroom is, there aren’t any towels and he hasn’t got anything to change into and he just kind of stands awkwardly until someone calls his name and he turns to see Reed, looking concerned. 

 

“Hey,” Reed says gently. Everyone’s just being so fucking gentle with him, it’s creeping him out. “What’s up?”

 

“Christina says I smell,” Connor says without really thinking about it. “So I was going to have a shower, but I don’t…”

 

“I’ll find you a towel and something to change into,” Reed says immediately. They offer up a half-hearted grin. “Don’t worry, it won’t be anything too crazy. Although I know for a fact you’d rock a caftan.”

 

Connor follows Reed up the stairs and into a room where they start going through a suitcase and then present Connor with a pile of clothes, a towel, a hairbrush, some deodorant and even a razor. “You should do something about the stubble,” they say, “unless you’re trying to do the beard thing from college again.”

 

“Maybe,” he replies, smiling despite himself. “Evan liked the beard.”

 

Reed’s quiet for a moment, then looks at Connor. They don’t say anything, they just pull him into a hug. 

 

Connor doesn’t know how Reed does it, but they always seem to know what he needs. 

 

Half an hour later he’s showered and dressed and shaved and feeling a bit more like a human being. A lot more like a human being, actually. He heads back into the room where Evan is and sees that Seamus and Heidi are sitting there with him. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Seamus asks instantly. 

 

Connor’s immediately instinct is to shrug but he figures his dad deserves an honest answer. “I’ve been better, but I’m doing okay.” He looks at Evan, who still hasn’t moved. “How is he?”

 

“The same,” Heidi says, and she sounds so sad and defeated it’s like a knife to Connor’s chest. “We spoke with Christina. We’re going to give it a bit of time to see how this transfusion goes, if there’s any chance. The notes from the Neolution experiment said it took about 48 hours to see any changes.”

 

“That’s… I mean, it hasn’t been that long,” Connor says, and he’s really, really trying not to get his hopes up. “So we can’t say it definitely hasn’t worked yet.”

 

“We don’t know what it working will look like,” Seamus points out. “He could just snap out of it and be fine, or it could be a slow process where he gradually improves.” He and Heidi look at each other, then back at Connor. 

 

“Depending on the level of care he needs, we’ll need to make some decisions,” says Heidi quietly. “All of us together.”

 

“Yeah,” says Connor, even though he really doesn’t want to be having this conversation or even thinking about this. He needs to get out of his head, to realize that what’s happened to Evan doesn’t just affect him. It affects so many people. 

 

Heidi looks more tired than Connor’s ever seen her, even when Evan was recovering from a gunshot all those years ago. 

 

She doesn’t deserve to go through this again. 

 

She didn’t deserve to go through it the first time. 

 

“I’m going to make tacos for dinner,” Heidi announces after a long pause. “I know you want to stay with him, but can I bring you some food once it’s ready?”

 

“Sure,” Connor says. He’s not sure he’s hungry, but he knows he should eat. 

 

Knows Evan would want him to eat. 

 

Heidi and Seamus head back out into the main part of the house, and Connor’s alone with his fiance again. He looks around the room to see that there’s a pile of books sitting on the table next to Evan. On closer inspection, he realizes that they’re his books. 

 

Well, they’re Evan’s, but they used to be his. 

 

Connor thinks back to the day he found out that his parents had given all of his books to Evan. When they thought he was dead and thought Evan was his secret best friend, grieving his loss. Connor remembers his first time in Evan’s apartment full of plants, looking around and finding a bookshelf and recognizing every title. He remembers recognizing a black nail polish stain on the spine of a copy of Battle Royale and suddenly realizing that these were his books. His copies. 

 

He remembers Evan explaining how his parents insisted he take them when they packed up their house to move, and how weird it felt to have Evan talking about the life Connor had left behind. 

 

He remembers blurting out a question he didn’t mean to ask, and sparking a conversation that spent months floating around his head. 

 

_ “Did you read any of them?” _

 

_ “I read all of them. Every single one.” _

 

_ “Why?” _

 

_ “I wanted to know you.” _

 

_ “Because you told everyone that you already did?” _

 

_ “Not just that. I just… I wanted it all to be true. So badly.” _

 

Connor might not have realized it at the time, but he thinks that’s the moment he fell in love with Evan Hansen. 

 

It’s felt like falling ever since. 

 

He sits down and opens up a copy of The Little Prince. 

 

Looks at the first few words. 

 

Then closes it. 

 

Puts it down on the table. 

 

Wipes his face. 

 

And looks at Evan. 

 

Who blinks. 

 

Then blinks again. 

 

Then moves his eyes and looks straight at him. 

 

“Connor?” 

 

Connor feels like his heart is going to escape through his throat. He grabs Evan’s hand tightly. “Evan. Hey.” 

 

Evan still looks dazed and not quite there, but he’s talking and his eyes are focused on Connor and Connor doesn’t think he’s been happier to see anything in his entire life. 

 

“You’re okay,” Evan says, his voice slow and scratchy, like he’s just woken up. 

 

“I’m okay,” Connor assures him. “We’re all okay, we’re safe.”

 

Evan blinks a few more times, then nods slowly, like he’s trying to fight through molasses. “I’m so tired,” he mumbles. 

 

“Do you know what happened?” Connor asks as gently as he can, while grabbing the walkie-talkie left in the room so he can contact someone for help. 

 

Evan stares at him and blinks a few more times. “It’s fuzzy,” he admits. “I… I think I got lost.”

 

“Yeah,” says Connor, and he can’t stop himself from getting closer, from pushing Evan’s hair back off his face and kissing his cheek and reassuring himself that he’s here, that this isn’t a dream, Evan’s real and he’s here. “But you found your way back.” 


	55. FIFTY-FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early morning tacos.

It’s not that Connor expects that everything’s going to be magically okay and Evan’s going to be completely back to normal. 

 

Except that, deep down, he kind of does. 

 

The next 24 hours after Evan “comes back” are confusing and heartbreaking and messy and definitely not completely back to normal. 

 

Christina checks all of Evan’s vitals and asks him a whole lot of questions, calmly and patiently. Things like his full name, where he lives, what year is it. 

 

Evan struggles to answer at least half of them and the ones he can answer take longer than they should. Connor’s trying not to freak out, to stay positive and encouraging and supportive because if he freaks out, Evan will freak out and Evan already looks completely overwhelmed. 

 

Heidi’s sitting next to Evan on the other side of the bed, carefully observing and taking in every question and answer. Every now and then, she’ll chime in with a question of her own. 

 

It doesn’t take too long before Evan starts to look completely drained. Both Christina and Heidi notice, and Christina’s happy to let him get some sleep but wants to make sure he’s got full control of all his faculties. He stands up of his own steam, which Connor’s more than happy to see, but is a little shaky on his feet and needs a bit of help to get to the bathroom. Once he’s there, he’s able to do what he needs by himself, and Connor doesn’t want to be the creepy guy watching his fiance pee but also doesn’t want him to, like, collapse, so keeps the door a little open so he can listen for any issues. 

 

He hears the toilet flush and the faucet turn on and the water runs for a long time. Longer than it should. 

 

Connor opens the door and sees Evan’s just staring straight ahead, his hands under the faucet, and it’s that same blank stare and it’s freaking him out. 

 

“Evan.”

 

Evan blinks, then looks back at Connor, and looks at his hands kind of helplessly. Connor hands him a hand towel and turns off the faucet and helps him dry his hands and leads him back into the room. 

 

Heidi’s standing there, holding pair of pajamas. She looks at Connor. “If he’s going to get some sleep, he should be comfortable,” she says quietly. “Are you alright to help him if he needs it?”

 

Connor nods. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

 

Heidi smiles, hands Connor the pajamas and then pulls Evan into a hug. Evan doesn’t move for a moment, and Connor’s immediately terrified, but then he moves his arms to hug his mother back, and Connor feels himself relax just a little. 

 

As Heidi leaves the room, she closes the door behind her. Connor looks at Evan, who is frowning like he’s confused about something. 

 

“Are you okay?” Connor asks, realizing that this is possibly the stupidest question in the world right now. 

 

“My face hurts,” Evan replies. 

 

Connor nods. “You had a tooth pulled.” 

 

Evan blinks. “Oh.” 

 

Connor puts the pajamas down on the bed and gestures for Evan to sit down. Evan stares for a moment, then complies, and they look at each other for a long moment. 

 

Connor doesn’t know what to do so he just holds Evan’s hand. 

 

Evan squeezes his hand tightly and Connor’s incredibly grateful. 

 

“You should get some sleep,” he says. “You look tired.”

 

Evan nods. “Yeah. I am, yeah.” He looks at Connor and there’s a flash of fear in his eyes. “What happened to me?” 

 

There’s a lump in Connor’s throat and he wants to answer, because Evan deserves to have his questions answered, but when he tries to speak he just chokes out a sob instead. Evan’s eyes flash with concern and he squeezes his hand tighter. 

 

“It was bad, huh?” Evan’s voice is soft and almost comforting and that’s just ridiculous, because if right now Connor should be the one giving comfort, not Evan, and he’s not prepared for this and he doesn’t know what to do and…

 

Evan kisses his cheek. 

 

Before he can pull away full, Connor pulls him in closer and kisses him properly. 

 

He’d been so scared they’d already had their last kiss. 

 

“You’re safe now,” Connor assures him, and Evan smiles, and though it’s not the full strength of Evan’s smile, it’s still a smile and Connor’s going to take it. 

 

Evan seems to have enough presence of mind to change, but Connor stays to make sure he’s okay. He looks more and more exhausted as the minutes go by. The bed’s made up and Connor takes the opportunity to pull back the blankets so Evan can actually get in, rather than just lying on top like he had been when he was… when he wasn’t really there. 

 

Once Evan’s in bed, he looks at Connor expectantly, like he’s hoping he’ll join him. 

 

Connor might be just as tired as Evan is at this stage. So before he can think too hard about it, he closes the curtains, turns out the light and climbs into bed next to Evan. The minute he’s in bed, Evan rolls over and pulls Connor close to him, and he’s warm and safe and alive and his eyes are closed and he’s breathing and Connor feels himself drifting off. 

 

When he wakes up, it’s dark, and he feels nauseous and shaky, and Evan’s sitting up in bed, staring into space. 

 

Connor sits next to him and puts his hand on his arm. “Hey. You alright?”

 

“There was something in my tooth.” 

 

Connor thinks his heart might actually be breaking. “There was. But we got it out.”

 

“I couldn’t… I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t… I couldn’t move or speak or… he made me do things I didn’t want to do and I couldn’t stop it, I-”

 

“We got it out,” Connor assures him. “It’s gone. And he’s gone. He’s dead. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

 

Evan’s quiet for a long moment. Connor’s terrified he’s slipped away from him again until he finally speaks. “Adam’s dead?”

 

“He’s dead,” Connor says softly. “He can’t hurt you. Or anyone else.”

 

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” Evan replies, and his voice is so quiet Connor can barely hear it. “I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.” He looks at Connor. “I crashed the car.”

 

“Adam crashed the car,” Connor correct him. “It wasn’t you.”

 

“I could have hurt you and Gus.”

 

“We’re fine,” Connor assures him. 

 

“He wanted… Adam wanted to control Gus. Is Gus okay?”

 

“Gus is fine,” Connor says, and he doesn’t know if he should be continuing this conversation or telling Evan more about what happened, but it doesn’t seem to matter because Evan’s sliding back down into the bed and is drifting back to sleep and Connor vows to do the same. 

 

He ends up lying awake for the next hour, listening to Evan breathing. 

 

There’s something comforting about it, but at the same time it’s unsettling, because he can’t get the image of Evan’s blank-eyed stare in that wheelchair in Neolution out of his head. 

 

When it becomes obvious that sleep isn’t coming and he realizes he hasn’t eaten in awhilte, he gets up and heads back into the main part of the house, then wanders around until he eventually finds the kitchen. 

 

Gus is sitting at the kitchen island, his hands wrapped around a cup of tea, a frown on his face. Pampushka is curled up next to him and when she spots Connor, she comes over to him and rubs her face against his hand. 

 

“Hey,” Connor says, his voice coming out scratchy and dark. 

 

Gus looks at him and offers a weak smile. “How is Evan?” he asks immediately. “Dad tells me he returns to himself. This is most good.”

 

“He’s… well, he’s asleep right now,” Connor says. For some reason, he feels weird talking about this with Gus. 

 

Knowing that Gus wanted to save Adam. 

 

When it was Adam who caused what happened to Evan. 

 

Gus nods. “Sleep is healing,” he says wisely. He looks at Connor. “It is late. You should also be sleeping.”

 

“So should you,” Connor replies immediately. 

 

Gus’s face darkens. “There are many thoughts,” he says, his voice more than a little hesitant. “Many thoughts, and they distract me from sleep.” He looks at Connor. “It is the same for you, no?”

 

“It is, yeah,” Connor admits. He goes to the fridge and opens it, but he’s not really seeing anything. He hears Gus move and come to stand next to him. After a moment, Gus pulls out a container of leftover taco meat, some cheese and some sour cream. 

 

“I will make you tacos,” Gus says matter-of-factly. “I know that you do not eat.”

 

“Thank you,” Connor says, and it feels weird to say, and he doesn’t like how weird it feels to be standing here with his twin, one of the people he cares most about in the world, and not really want to be here with him. 

 

Connor has a glass of water as Gus busies himself reheating the leftover meat then assembling a plate full of tacos. Once he’s done, he gestures for Connor to sit at the kitchen island with him. They dig into the plate full of tacos and it’s quiet for a while. 

 

When the plate is empty, Gus looks at Connor, his expression sad. “You are upset with me. Because I wanted to save Adam.”

 

Connor’s too tired to lie. “He hurt Evan. He hurt you.” 

 

“He did not know otherwise.”

 

“I get that you see yourself in him,” Connor begins, trying to put his thoughts in order. “I do. I get it. But Evan… he’s back, but he’s struggling to remember things and he’s… he’s still so damaged, and you wanted to save the person who hurt him, and I… I can’t deal with that right now.”

 

“It is okay that we think differently,” Gus says, frowning a little. “We are different people.”

 

“This isn’t just thinking differently,” Connor replies, trying not to sound as mad and heartbroken as he feels. “This is… it’s like you don’t even care that he hurt Evan, you just… we didn’t know he was going to help us in the end. We didn’t know that and you just… not everyone deserves a second chance, Gus.”

 

“You thought that I did,” Gus says quietly. “I don’t see how Adam is different.”

 

“It’s completely different.”

 

“Only because he hurts someone you love,” Gus points out. “You didn’t know the people I hurt. Not really. That is what makes it different.”

 

“That’s not…” 

 

Connor has to admit, Gus might be right. But he hates it. He hates it he hates it he hates it. 

 

“What was done to Adam was horrible,” Gus says quietly. “It was torture. I know this. I understand this. It is not… it is not something you understand.” 

 

“Maybe not,” Connor concedes. “But my fiance can barely remember his own name because Adam fucked up his mind. He’s talking and he’s responding and he’s remembering, but he’s… there’s damage. He’s not… he’s not the same, and he might get better but he also might not, and that’s… at least you just killed people outright. You didn’t violate their minds. You didn’t control them, make them do things they’d never do, make them… it’s not the same.”

 

“I think you do not want to see Adam as anything that is not evil,” Gus says after a moment. He seems frustrated, and it makes Connor’s blood boil. “Because to see things in black and white is easier.”

 

“And I think you’re letting the things you have in common with Adam blind you to the awful shit he did,” Connor replies heatedly. “You have to forgive him for what he did so you can forgive yourself.”

 

There’s a tension in the air that makes Connor’s skin crawl. 

 

Gus won’t look at him. 

 

After a moment, Gus stands up, takes the empty plate and goes to the sink to wash it. 

 

Connor sits there for a moment longer, then stands up and makes his way back to the room Evan’s in. 

 

It takes him a while to find it, and even longer to stop shaking with anger. 

 

When he gets back to the room, Evan’s standing next to the bed, staring into space. He’s opened the curtains and the lights are on and he looks completely blank. 

 

“Hey,” Connor says softly, feeling a chill unfurl in his stomach. “Evan.”

 

“I have a meeting with Hannah,” Evan says quietly, not looking at him. “I need to get to the office.”

 

“It’s not morning yet,” Connor says, because he can’t think of anything else to say. 

 

“It’s important,” Evan insists. 

 

Connor moves closer to him and takes his hand. “It’s still dark out,” he says softly, gesturing to the window. “See?”

 

Evan is still staring forward, but finally, finally he looks at the window. Then he nods. “Okay.” 

 

“Let’s get some more sleep,” Connor says firmly. 

 

Evan nods. “Okay.”

 

Connor shuts the curtains again and helps Evan back into bed then turns off the light and crawls into bed with him. He can feel his heart pounding, way too fast in his chest. Evan rolls over and then winces. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Connor asks sharply.

 

“Hurts,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “Everything hurts.”

 

Then Evan starts crying, and Connor pulls him toward him and holds him as tightly as he thinks Evan can handle, and his heart is still pounding too fast and Evan’s sobbing into his chest and he wants to make things better, he wants to hurt anyone who’s ever hurt Evan, he wants Gus to see just how much damage Adam’s caused, he wants…

 

He wants none of this to have ever happened.

 

He wants to fix it. 

 

He hears the door to the room open and opens his eyes to see that it’s morning. He must have fallen asleep. Evan’s still curled up in his arms and Connor doesn’t want to let go, but he can tell there’s someone else in the room so he reluctantly pulls away and sits up to see Christina in the doorway. 

 

“How is he?” she asks quietly. 

 

“Sleeping now,” Connor says, climbing out of bed and going to talk to her so he doesn’t risk waking Evan. “He… he’s confused about things. He’s remembering some things, but also still kind of… he remembered the crash and how Adam wanted to control Gus and then later he thought he had a meeting, and it’s all… he’s confused.”

 

“That can be common with brain trauma,” Christina says quietly. “He’s been through a lot. The fact that he’s responsive now is a huge leap forward. Don’t give up hope.”

 

“Never,” Connor says fiercely. “I’d never give up on him.”

 

“I know you wouldn’t.” Christina nods. “You’re due for another dose of suboxone. How are you feeling?”

 

“I have no idea,” Connor confesses. 

 

“Physically.”

 

“Okay? Kind of… I don’t know.”

 

Christina nods. “Well, let’s give you that next dose, and see how things go.” 

 

“What’s the time?” Connor asks. 

 

“About nine,” she tells him. “I just arrived. Checked in on my other patients.”

 

“How’s Hannah?” 

 

“Healing well,” Christina assures him. “So’s Jared, in case you were wondering.”

 

Connor doesn’t give a rat’s ass about how Jared’s going, but Evan probably does, so he just nods. 

 

“Do you need to check on Evan?” 

 

“I’ll let him sleep,” Christina says. “Sleep’s good. It’ll help.” 

 

Connor nods. “Okay.”

 

He lets Christina watch him like a hawk as he takes another dose of suboxone, then heads back to where Evan’s sleeping and climbs back into bed. 

 

Connor doesn’t know if he really needs more sleep but he doesn’t think he’s brave enough to be anywhere else right now. 

 

He just needs to know that Evan’s okay. 

 

That Evan’s here.    
  



	56. FIFTY-FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going for a walk.

Charles wakes up to the sound of his phone. He can hear Tina next to him mumbling to turn off the alarm but as the sound continues, he realizes that it’s not an alarm - it’s a phone call. He reaches out his arm, fumbles for his phone then answers it haphazardly. “Hello, Charles speaking.”

 

“Charles? It’s Agent Fence. Did I wake you?”

 

“Yes,” Charles admits, but he’s awake now, so there’s no point in worrying about it. He crawls out of bed and heads out of the room to let his wife keep sleeping. “It’s fine. What’s happening?”

 

“We found James Haines. McDonald. Whatever he wants to call himself, he’s been found.” There’s a pause. “He’s dead.” 

 

Charles takes a moment to process this. “Did he… did you have to kill him?”

 

“We found him dead in a location just north of Philadelphia,” says Fence, and Charles has spent enough time with him to know that even though it might sound like his voice is even and expressionless, he’s relieved. “Our experts are working on their IT systems now to make sure we can shut down all their locations worldwide, but with James Haines dead… Neolution’s done. They’re done. This is over.”

 

Charles doesn’t think he believes that. 

 

Doesn’t think he can believe that. 

 

“It’s never over,” he says, without really meaning to. “This clone thing… what we are, it means it’s never over. There’s always something out there. I spent six year ignoring that fact and look what happened.”

 

Fence is quiet for a while. “There might always be people out there wanting to hurt us,” he says finally. “Because of who we are. Because of what we are. But I promise you, when it comes to Neolution? It’s over. Your part is over. Leave the rest of it to us.” His voice turns almost gentle. “You’ve done so much here. Most of this investigation wasn’t even us. Let us finish it.”

 

Charles thinks it over. “Do you think we should all just go back to business as usual, then?”

 

“It’s up to you,” Fence says, “but if I were you, I’d take some time to recover.” He’s quiet for a moment. “How’s Evan?”

 

“Better,” Charles tells him. “Last night he kind of… came back to himself. He’s still confused and not quite fully there, but it’s a huge improvement.” 

 

“Good,” says Fence, and there’s genuine relief in his voice. “Good, you must all be really glad. I can’t… I can’t imagine what it must have been like for Connor to see that.”

 

Charles still isn’t sure he believes this conversation is happening. 

 

It just… can’t be over, just like that. 

 

“Switzerland,” he says out of the blue. “We heard there were people in Switzerland. And if they know about Gaelle being a clone child…”

 

“We’ve already found their location,” Fence assures him. “We’ll make it safe. I promise.”

 

“Alright,” Charles says. This all feels weird and anticlimactic and completely foreign to him. After the fall of DYAD, there’d been months and months of fixing things and organizing things and it had just been chaos but now they’ve brought down another terrifying organization and it’s just… over, just like that. There’s nothing else for him to do. 

 

It doesn’t feel right. 

 

“We’ll keep in touch,” says Fence, “but I think what’s most important for all of you right now is to just… rest. You’ve been through a lot.” There’s another pause, and then his voice lowers. “I’d like to come and visit, though. Just to… tie up some loose ends. Would that be alright?”

 

“Of course,” Charles replies instantly. “It’ll be good to see you.”

 

“You too,” says Fence. There’s a hint of a smile in his voice. “I’d never met any of the clones before I met all of you, and I didn’t… well, I didn’t expect it to… it was just a different experience than I thought it would be.”

 

Charles knows what he’s trying to say. 

 

That he feels a connection with them. 

 

Charles knows, firsthand, that just because you share DNA with someone doesn’t mean you’ll connect with them. He thinks back to the group of clones he knew as a teenager, and how easily they fell out of touch. How meeting Reed, Torpedo, Connor, Gus and Lucas had been such a completely different experience. 

 

How they’d become family. 

 

Weirdly, he thinks that there might be a place for Fence in this family, too. Charles doesn’t think he’s going to be as close as the others - the six of them really are close - but it won’t be like it was with the Euro clones all those years ago. 

 

Some kind of middle ground, Charles supposes. 

 

He’s still thinking about it when he finishes the phone call and goes back to bed. Tina’s sitting up, her dark hair falling in her eyes, and Charles climbs over to kiss her good morning. 

 

“Everything okay?” she asks, smiling. 

 

“Yes, actually. I think it’s going to be.”

 

Once they’re both up and dressed, they head into the kitchen to find a flurry of activity. Gus and Steve are cooking what looks like eggs and there’s a crowd of people spilling out into the dining room with plates. Gaelle and Penny are at the kitchen island, happily chatting about something over their eggs and Reed’s leaning against the fridge drinking coffee. When Charles and Tina arrive, everyone greets them. 

 

Charles figures it’s a good time to let them know what’s going on. 

 

“Agent Fence called me,” he announces to the adults in the room once he’s sure that the girls aren’t paying attention. “They found the leader of Neolution dead in Pennsylvania. They’re still cleaning things up, but… Fence thinks this is over. That we’re safe.” Miranda looks like she’s about to say something so Charles rushes to assure her. “They’ve tracked down Neolution in Switzerland as well. It’s all going to be okay.”

 

Everyone’s quiet for a while. 

 

“Can we be sure this is really over?” Seamus asks, his tone a little skeptical. 

 

“Like I said, they’re tying up the loose ends,” Charles says. “But as far as our involvement… we can go back to our lives. Back to normal, as best we can, when we’re ready. He suggested we take some time to recover. It’s been hard for everyone.”

 

Lili and Miranda exchange a look. “I do not think Jared is ready to go back to Switzerland,” says Lili firmly. “He needs more time to recover. And I do not wish to move him again - it was hard enough to move him from the hospital to here. If it is alright, we will stay for some time.”

 

“We’ll stay until the weekend,” Steve says, looking at Penny and Gaelle who are still happily chatting away. “I’d like to get Penny back to school on Monday, but we’ve got a bit of time for her to hang out with her new friend.”

 

“Gaelle will be pleased she is staying,” Lili says with a smile. “She likes Penny very much.”

 

“I’ll talk to Hannah and her mom,” Zoe says. “See what they want to do. They’re not up yet.” 

 

“I don’t think anyone’s in a huge hurry to leave,” says Torpedo, and his mother nod in agreement. “But Steve’s idea of staying until the weekend sounds good. It’ll give us some time to let this all settle.” 

 

“This is good,” Gus agrees. “It is good to have all of us together. It is something I am always enjoying, and after what has happened… it is good to know that we are all safe.” 

 

Everyone murmurs their agreement. “Now that things aren’t as dire, maybe I’ll see if Lucas and Donna want to come around for a meal in the weekend,” Reed suggests. “They’ve been in touch, and I know that they worry.”

 

“As long as we can be sure that we’re safe,” Heidi says quietly. “That we’re safe here and that we’re going to be safe when we go back home eventually. That’s all I need to know.”

 

“We’re safe here,” Seamus assures her. He looks at Charles. “And while it’s wise to give Fence and Brewer a bit more time to wrap things up… I believe them when they say that this is over. As over as it’s ever going to get for us.”

 

“It’s never going to be completely safe,” Reed points out. “We’re all part of this huge conspiracy, and we never know what’s going to happen next. And it’s naive to think we’ll never end up in a crisis again. But we can’t live like we’re waiting for the next awful thing to happen. We’ll all go insane.”

 

Charles has to admit, Reed has a very valid point. 

 

* * *

Gus cannot help but keep thinking of his argument with Connor in the early hours of the morning.

 

He knows that Connor is a stubborn man. He knows that he himself can also be stubborn. 

 

But he does not think Connor is being fair. 

 

It is not fair of Connor not to recognize what Adam goes through. Not to have sympathy. 

 

And it is not fair of Connor to think that Gus having sympathy for Adam means he does not care about Evan. 

 

When Connor and Evan became engaged, Gus remembers that Evan tells him in a joking voice that soon they will be brothers-in-law. Gus replies straight away that Evan is already is brother. 

 

This is still how he feels. Gus and Evan have been through much together. 

 

Gus has killed for Evan. 

 

This is not something he takes lightly. 

 

For Connor to think, even for a moment, that Gus does not care…

 

This makes him angry. 

 

But as the day continues, Gus does not go to visit Evan. He wants to see him, very badly, to see that he is okay and well and has returned to himself, but he cannot bring himself to do so. 

 

There is a part of him that is ashamed. 

 

He does not think he should feel ashamed that he is someone with compassion, who sees the horror that was inflicted upon his clone and wants to offer mercy. 

 

Gus wishes, very much, that there was an easy way for him to explain what he is feeling, but there are many emotions and all have much conflict. 

 

He remembers the feeling of having no control of his body, of being a passenger and seeing himself fight with Zoe. He remembers how helpless he is feeling, and he knows that Evan felt this also. 

 

That Evan felt this for much, much longer. 

 

Gus thinks of the moments where Evan fought back control. 

 

How he begged Gus to kill him. 

 

Two times. 

 

How he screamed for Adam to stop when he used bleach in the room Gus was being kept to cause him pain. 

 

Adam did horrible, awful things to Evan and that makes Gus’s heart hurt. 

 

But he has seen Adam’s real form. Has seen how he has had to live. 

 

His body is a cage. 

 

Gus remembers what it is like to be in a cage. 

 

He also remembers Connor’s words from their fight. 

 

“You have to forgive him for what he did so you can forgive yourself.”

 

Gus would like for what Connor says not to be true, but he thinks his twin has cut to the heart of why he insists that Adam must be forgiven. 

 

It is the afternoon when Steve suggests they take Pampushka for a walk. Penny insists that she and Gaelle come too, and Steve asks Lili if she would like to join them. She agrees, saying that it would be nice to be outside, and Gus is glad for this. 

 

He likes Lili. He thinks she is kind, and even though sometimes they have difficulty understanding, she makes him laugh, even though he knows that she carries much sadness in her heart. 

 

Adam has hurt someone Lili cares for also. 

 

Adam used Evan to do this. 

 

This is something Gus does not wish to discuss with her. 

 

There is a park near the house, and they walk to this park so the girls can play with Pampushka. Steve offers to buy coffee for them, and Gus and Lili stay to keep an eye on the children. 

 

Gus likes this. Likes seeing Pampushka with Penny and Gaelle. 

 

He thinks Pampushka likes to have children to play with very much. 

 

“Will you stay in the house while Evan recovers?” Lili asks, when it is just them on the bench, watching the children play with Pampushka. 

 

“I do not think so,” Gus admits. “When Steve and Penny go home, I think I will go home also. I will visit, but I should go home and check on my business.”

 

Lili looks surprised. “You have business?”

 

“Yes,” Gus says, and this is a topic he likes to talk about. “I have business called Woofles with Zoe that does dog grooming, doggy daycare and also obedience classes. It is going for some years now, and we have very good staff. Is good to be flexible so Zoe and I can do other things sometimes. It has been most useful these few weeks.” 

 

“You must like dogs very much to do this,” Lili replies with a smile. 

 

Gus grins. “Yes. I like dogs very, very much.”

 

Lili looks at the children and Pampushka. “It would be good, I think, for Gaelle to have a dog. She is already asking for one when we return to Switzerland.”

 

“Dogs and children are good together,” Gus says with a nod. “I think that dogs and children together encourage a joyful spirit.” 

 

“It would be good for Gaelle to have joy,” Lili says quietly. “She suffers much, these few weeks.”

 

Gus feels his heart fall. “I am so sorry.”

 

“It is not your fault.”

 

“If she feels the emotions that all clones have,” Gus says, “this must overwhelm. There is much. She must be a very strong child to contain this.”

 

“She is,” Lili agrees. “She is very strong.” She sighs. “There are many nightmares. Many terrors. I think this will continue for some time.”

 

Gus nods. “I understand this.” He looks at Lili thoughtfully. “Maybe it would be good for her to have someone to talk of this to. Someone who is trained. ERAS can find someone in Switzerland, yes?” 

 

“You think it will help her?”

 

“Yes,” Gus says immediately. “I am not wanting to talk to people of my struggles when I am young at first, but I find that it helps. Very much. It is… not fast, but it does help with healing.” 

 

He looks at Gaelle playing and feels much sympathy for this child who feels so much. Often his own emotions become too much for him. He can only imagine what it is like to be so young and feel many different things from so many people. 

 

Hundreds of people. 

 

“She is very special,” Gus says to Lili. “A very special child. If there is anything I can do to make things better, I will do them gladly.”

 

“It is good for Gaelle to be here with Penny and Pampushka,” Lili replies with a sad smile. “It is good for her to have friends, and a dog to play with, and to be a normal child for some time. Your Penny is a good friend for her to have. She will be sad to leave her when the time comes.”

 

“Penny is Steve’s daughter,” Gus corrects her, trying not to go red. “Steve and I… it is very new, what we have between us. But I like Penny very much. She is a very good girl.”

 

He is sure that his ears are very red. He pulls his hair across so his ears cannot be seen. 

 

Lili looks at him and there is some mischief in her expression. “When I see you and Steve, I think you have been together for a very long time. You are very comfortable around each other. If it is new, perhaps this is a sign that it will be long lasting.” 

 

“Perhaps,” Gus replies, and he thinks his cheeks are red too, and before he can say anything else that is embarrassing, he sees that Steve has returned with drinks. 

 

The girls come running over, for Steve has bought hot chocolate for them. They sit on the grass and enjoy their drinks, and Steve has bought Gus something that is very sweet and delicious and has much cream, and Gus likes that he knows to do this. 

 

When they have finished their drinks, the girls seem like they are becoming tired, so they decide to walk back to the house. It is not a short walk, but not a long walk either. They are maybe five minutes from the house when Steve stops and looks into the distance to see a person approaching them. 

“That’s Evan,” he says, frowning. “What’s he doing?”

 

Gus feels his heart start to pound. There is something that is not right. Gaelle looks scared, and Lili picks her up.

 

Gus walks toward Evan. As he gets closer, he sees that he is wearing his pajamas and does not have shoes. There is gravel on the ground, which must hurt his feet, but he does not seem to notice. 

 

“Hello,” Gus says to Evan as soon as he is close enough for him to hear. “Where are you going?”

 

Evan stops. He looks at Gus. He looks very confused. “Connor?”

 

“It is Gus,” he reminds him gently. “Where are you going?” 

 

“I have to go to work,” Evan says, frowning. “I’m looking for my car.”

 

“It is not here,” Gus says, trying to make his words sound like comfort. “And you do not have to go to work today. You are taking a break to recover.”

 

Evan blinks a few times. 

 

He looks very, very lost. 

 

It hurts Gus’s heart. 

 

“We are going back to the house,” Gus says, and he can hear the others coming closer. “You can walk with us, yes? We will go back to the house, and it will all be alright.”

 

Evan frowns again. “But I can’t find my car.”

 

“You do not need it,” Gus says, his voice a little more firm. He takes Evan’s arm gently. “Come now, we go back to the house.”

 

Evan looks like he wants to argue but does not know how. 

 

Gus feels much pain in his heart to see his friend like this. 

 

Then Evan allows him to guide him back in the right direction and they begin to walk back. Gus keeps holding onto Evan, to be sure that he does not go elsewhere, and sees as they walk that there is blood on the ground. 

 

It looks like footprints. Gus understands. 

 

“Your feet are hurt,” Gus says to Evan, and stops for a moment. “This is not good. I will give you my shoes so you do not hurt them more.”

 

Steve moves closer and helps steady Evan as Gus takes off his shoes and so he can put them on Evan’s feet. Evan does not argue, and does not seem to react as Gus puts the shoes on his feet and realizes in horror that they are very cut up and there is very much blood. 

 

Gus is okay to walk back in socks. If his feet get hurt, they will heal faster. Evan does not even have socks. Just cuts on his feet and much confusion. 

 

“Why doesn’t he have shoes?” Gus hears Penny ask. 

 

“He forgot,” Gaelle replies. 

 

This seems to be enough answer for Penny. “Okay.” 

 

They continue their walk back to the house. They are very near when Gus sees someone run toward them. 

 

“Evan! Evan, oh my god, what…”

 

Connor sees the group of them, looks at Gus for a very short moment then purposefully looks back at Evan. He does not acknowledge Gus again. Instead, he wraps his arms around Evan tightly. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Evan replies, and he looks very sad and very confused. “I thought I had a meeting, I…”

 

“It’s okay,” Connor says in a rush, even though Gus knows that it very much is not. “It’s okay, just… if you need to go somewhere, you tell me, okay? We’ll go together if we need to go anywhere.”

 

Evan nods and looks around a little helplessly, but Connor still refuses to look at Gus. Connor takes over helping Evan back into the house, which is now in view. Lili, Gaelle and Penny keep moving but Gus is still standing, his heart pounding very hard in his chest. 

 

Steve notices and stays with him. “I didn’t realize it was that bad,” he says quietly. “It’s… he’s really not okay, is he?” 

 

“No,” Gus admits. “He is not. There is much damage done and I did not… I did not let myself see it.”

 

Things are not black and white. He cannot ignore what has been done to his friend. 

 

Gus wishes that things were more simple. But he sees that they are not. 

 


	57. FIFTY-SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midnight McDonalds.

Connor doesn’t think his heart has stopped pounding since he first realized Evan was gone. He’d gone to have a shower, telling Evan he’d be right back, and returned to find the room empty. A search of the house had revealed Evan was nowhere to be found and he hadn’t even been able to think properly, he’d just ran out and tried to find him. 

 

Thank fuck Gus, Steve and Lili had been there with the kids and Pampushka. 

 

When they get Evan back into the house, Heidi goes straight into dressing the cuts on his feet. She’s calm and matter of fact and gentle as she works and it’s freaking Connor out that Evan’s not even wincing when she uses an antiseptic to keep things clean. Evan’s just kind of staring ahead, looking like he’s a million miles away. 

 

Zoe’s there, and she offers to take Evan into the kitchen and make sure he eats something. Connor moves to go with them but before he can, Heidi takes his arm and pulls him back into the room as they leave. 

 

“You can’t just leave him alone,” she says bluntly. “I know you were showering, but next time please just make sure there’s someone with him. He’s not… I know this is hard, and I know this isn’t what you’re used to, but right now he needs to be watched. To make sure that nothing like this happens.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Connor says quietly. “I didn’t… I didn’t think this would happen.”

 

Heidi sighs. “I know you didn’t. And he must have managed to get through the entire house without running into someone, it’s bad luck. But if he’d wandered further he could have been hit by a car or we might not have been able to find him. Right now he’s…” She takes a deep breath, wipes her face and continues. “Right now we need to make sure we’re keeping a close eye on him. He’s not… he’s not quite himself.” She laughs a little hollowly. “It’s kind of like dealing with a dementia patient, to be honest. Done plenty of that in my time but I never thought…”

 

“I won’t do it again,” he vows. “I won’t let that happen again.”

 

Heidi nods, then pulls Connor into a tight hug. Tighter than is really comfortable, but he’s not about to say anything about it. “You’re not alone in this,” she says, and Connor thinks it’s meant to be comforting, but instead it just makes him feel worse because it serves as a reminder that this is Evan’s mom, who loves him more than anything, and he’s a selfish asshole for having brought Evan into this whole mess of a clone thing in the first place. 

 

When they finally do get to the kitchen, Evan’s eating, which is definitely a plus. It’s slow and kind of mechanical, but at least he’s eating. Zoe’s heated up some mac and cheese that someone made, which is good because Connor knows for a fact that Zoe really can’t fucking cook, and Evan’s enjoying it. Maybe. Connor can’t really tell from his blank expression. 

 

Zoe looks at Connor when he comes in with such sympathy in her eyes that he kind of wants to cry. Instead, he takes the bowl of mac and cheese that’s been offered and focuses his attention on that. 

 

“Monsieur Evan is feeling better?” asks a small voice. Connor looks in the direction of the voice to see Gaelle standing there, her big hazel eyes sad. 

 

“A little bit,” says Heidi. “He’s having some mac and cheese.”

 

“I’m sorry he hurt his feet,” says Gaelle, moving closer to them. Connor’s transfixed at the sight of her. He hasn’t really had a chance to spend much time with her, and while he knows she’s Yorick’s kid, he’s only just getting the opportunity to spot the resemblances. 

 

The ears. The jawline. Something in the shape of the eyes, if not the color. 

 

“Hello,” he says, for lack of anything else to say. 

 

Gaelle looks at him solemnly. It’s a little creepy, to be honest. 

 

“I’m sorry you’re so sad,” she says, and her voice is even smaller. “I’m sorry that your heart hurts so much.”

 

“I’m sorry, too,” he says, because despite his limited experience, he doesn’t believe in bullshitting kids, and he knows for a fact that if his heart is hurting, then hers must be, too, and fuck if that isn’t completely unfair. “I’m sorry it hurts you.”

 

“It is not your fault,” she replies with that lilting French accent. “You didn’t choose for it to be that.”

 

“And it’s not your fault that I’m sad,” Connor says sensibly. “But you’re still sorry.”

 

Gaelle blinks, then lets out a huff. “We can both be sorry,” she says after a pause. 

 

“Okay,” he agrees. 

 

Gaelle sits at the table and it’s only then that Connor realizes she’s carrying what looks like some kind of exercise book. “Penny is having a nap,” she says, “because she is tired and she is still small. Maman said I must do the maths and she will come down to help me when she has seen Jared.” Connor feels a wave of irritation at the mention of the name, and Gaelle looks at him suddenly. “You do not like Jared,” she says, a little accusingly. 

 

“We knew each other when we were young,” Zoe says, when it becomes obvious that Connor doesn’t know how to respond. “Jared wasn’t very nice to Connor.” 

 

Gaelle considers this, and nodded. “Jared says once then when he was small, he was a real asshole. He is grown up now.” She pauses. “A little. Sometimes, he is very stupid still. But it is funny, not mean.” 

 

Connor catches Zoe’s eye. He can tell they’re both trying not to laugh at this eight year old French kid swearing in English. Dimly Connor wonders if he should be telling Gaelle off for swearing. He knows his parents would be. 

 

But he’s not about to argue, because Jared Kleinman is indeed an asshole.

 

“Who taught you the word asshole?” Zoe asks once she’s gotten her laughter under control. “It’s not very polite.”

 

Gaelle looks a little defiant. “Jared did.” 

 

Zoe rolls her eyes. “Of course he did.” She looks at Gaelle’s book. “Do you need any help?”

 

“I am doing multiplication,” she says. “I am trying to remember the 9 times at the moment.”

 

“There’s a neat trick for the 9 times tables,” Evan says, and it’s so completely out of the blue that Connor nearly falls off his chair. Evan’s looking at Gaelle, and his eyes are bright and clear and he’s so incredibly there that Connor wants to burst into tears. He puts down his fork and holds out his hands so all ten fingers are on display. “Hold out your hands like this.” Gaelle does as she’s told. “Okay, so let me show you. When you look at your fingers, you can use them to tell you the answer. Here’s an example. Let’s do…. three times nine. Do you know what three times nine is?”

 

“I remember it is… twenty seven,” says Gaelle with a nod.

 

“Great! Now let’s see it on your fingers. Look at the fingers in front of you and count one, two, three… now with your third finger, hold it down like this.” Evan demonstrates, and Gaelle does the same. “Okay. Now tell me how many fingers are on each side of the finger you’re holding down.”

 

Gaelle looks. “Two,” she says. “And… seven.” Her eyes widen. “Like twenty seven!”

 

“Exactly!” says Evan warmly. “Okay, so let’s try… six times nine. Do you remember what six times nine is?” Gaelle shakes her head, and Evan nods. “That’s okay. Let’s try it with the finger trick. Tell me what the finger trick tells you.”

 

Gaelle concentrates and moves her fingers as instructed, then looks back at Evan. “Cinquante-quatre. Fifty-four.”

 

“Great!” says Evan with more enthusiasm than Connor’s seen in him for a very long time. “Shall we check in your book to make sure I’m not trying to trick you?”

 

Gaelle giggles, then nods, and sure enough, the multiplication table confirms what Evan’s saying. “It is like magic,” she says, clearly impressed. 

 

“And if you’re not sure, there’s another trick,” Evan says, like he’s telling a secret. “We know that three times nine is twenty seven, and that’s a 2 and a 7 when you see it written down. What happens when you add them up?”

 

“You get nine,” says Gaelle. 

 

“Excellent. How about six times nine is fifty four? What’s five plus four?”

 

“Nine,” says Gaelle, her eyes lighting up. 

 

“Exactly!” says Evan with a smile. “It’s all about patterns. Math is all about patterns, you just have to find them. It’s pretty cool, huh?”

 

“I like it,” Gaelle announces to the table. “Mostly I hate math.”

 

“A lot of people do,” Evan says with a nod. “But I don’t think it’s math’s fault. You just have to look for the patterns, and it makes everything way more fun.”

 

Gaelle smiles widely, and looks at Zoe who’s tearing up and Connor who knows he’s pale as a sheet. “Evan is a very good teacher,” she says, and Connor has to agree. 

 

He looks over at Evan and notices in dismay that his face has morphed back into a neutral expression and his eyes have glazed over. 

 

And Connor knows he’s slipped away again. 

 

Gaelle looks at Evan and her face falls. She looks at Zoe, then at Connor, then back at Evan. After a moment, she turns back to her workbook and starts working on her answers, stopping every now and then to use the trick that Evan taught her. Connor can hear her muttering in French under her breath. 

 

Connor tries to finish his mac and cheese but every bite tastes like glue. 

 

He hates this he hates this he hates this he hates this. 

 

They sit there for about twenty minutes until Connor’s finished his food and Evan’s been coaxed into eating a little more. Zoe’s watching Evan with a look of dismay and Connor doesn’t think he’s ever been more emotionally drained in his life. 

 

He doesn’t realize Gaelle’s gotten out of her chair until she’s climbing on his lap to wrap her tiny arms around him in a hug. “I understand why you are sad,” she says solemnly. “I see it now. I wish… I wish it was not like this.” 

 

“Me too,” Connor confesses.

 

Lili appears not long after to make sure Gaelle is doing her school work, and Zoe seems to take that as a cue to leave them to it. She looks at Evan, then back at Connor. “How about we sit and watch something on Netflix?” she suggests. “We can head to my room. Hannah’s not having a great day today either, it could be good for all of us to hang out.”

 

“Okay,” Connor agrees, and soon they’re all heading to a room in the house he hadn’t even noticed and Hannah’s in bed, looking tired but glad to see them. It occurs to Connor that Hannah hasn’t seen Evan yet, and her face falls a bit when she sees just how vacant he looks. 

 

Somehow, all four of them manage to fit on the bed without aggravating any of Hannah’s injuries, and Zoe puts on an old season of Drag Race. Connor thinks she’s hoping that it’ll trigger some kind of response in Evan, given how they used to marathon it so often. 

 

And that’s how they spend the next couple of hours. Every now and then, Zoe will make a comment about an outfit or a challenge, and look at Evan like she’s expecting a response. The response doesn’t come, but every now and then Evan will laugh at something or react in some way, and Zoe will smile.

 

It’s kind of awful, to be honest. Every time there’s some kind of reaction from Evan, Connor feels his hopes rising, only for them to sink when he catches a glimpse of his dead expression and unfocused eyes. 

 

Connor’s not really hungry when the evening rolls around, but Heidi and Seamus show up with a big tray of nachos for all of them. The six of them sit and eat in relative silence, Evan having to be prompted to eat almost every minute, and after the plate is clear, Heidi and Seamus ask Connor if they can speak to him in private. 

 

He’s almost tempted to say no, but instead he follows them out of the room. 

 

“Now that we know things are safe,” Heidi says quietly, “we need to figure out a plan.”

 

“I thought people weren’t planning on leaving until after the weekend,” Connor replies. 

 

“We’re not either,” Seamus says, “but we need to think ahead.” He and Heidi exchange a look, then turn back to him. “We think it could be good if Evan comes to stay with us for a while.”

 

Connor just stares at them for a moment. “You don’t think I can take care of him? What happened today won’t happen again, I promise.”

 

“We just don’t think it’s realistic that it just be you looking after him,” Heidi says calmly. “I know it’s not the same, but I have experience with dementia patients from when I worked as a CNA. It’s similar enough that I know what to expect, at least a little, and I think it’ll be best for Evan overall.”

 

“So we’ll stay with you for a while,” Connor says with a nod. “Okay. Fine. That… that’s okay.”

 

Heidi and Seamus exchange another look. It’s Seamus who speaks next. “Son, we’d really like you to think seriously about rehab.”

 

Connor shakes his head. “No. No, I’m not leaving him. I can… I can do this. I am doing this. I’m clean, I’m.... it’s fine, it’s all fine.”

 

“You’re in the middle of nowhere right now,” Seamus points out. “But once we get home… it’s going to be hard. What’s happening with Evan is going to keep being hard, and you’re already vulnerable. We think that you taking some time to look after yourself is what’s best for both of you.” 

 

“You can’t just force me to go to rehab,” Connor snaps. “What are you going to do, drag me kicking and screaming?”

 

“Of course not,” Seamus says sharply. “How’s that going to help you? How’s that going to help anyone?” 

 

“We just want you to think about it,” Heidi says, her voice soft and even and frustratingly reasonable. “Evan needs more help than you can give him right now. And looking after him is going to be hard. Really hard. Enough that it could cause a relapse, or worse. And we want both of you to be safe.” 

 

“I’m not going,” Connor says again. 

 

Seamus sighs. “You know that I always want to make sure you have a choice,” he says after a long pause. “But I need you to know that we strongly, strongly suggest you do this. You won’t be abandoning Evan, he’ll be with us. You know we love him and we’ll make sure he’s okay. We’ll bring him to visit, and we’ll keep in touch with how he’s doing, but we honestly think you need to take the time to take care of yourself.”

 

Connor doesn’t sleep that night. He lies awake, listening to Evan breathing, and tries to let himself drift off but it’s just not happening. 

 

He thinks about what Evan said in the room in Neolution when Adam gave up control so that they could say goodbye. 

 

_ “It was worth it. All of it was worth it. Everything we went through, everything we’re going through now - all of it was and is worth it, and nobody can take that away.” _

 

Connor gets out of bed. 

 

Gets dressed. 

 

Puts on shoes and a jacket. 

 

Then leaves the room and heads down the hallway to where Zoe and Hannah are sleeping. 

 

He lets himself in as quietly as he can, then fumbles around in the dark to the dresser on the side of Zoe’s bed where she keeps her car keys.

 

He picks up the keys and they make a noise. Immediately, Connor’s knocked on his back. 

 

It takes a few moments for him to realize that Zoe has honest to God tackled him to the ground. 

 

“What the fuck,” he mutters, and Zoe lets out a sigh of relief. 

 

“Connor?” 

 

“Hey,” he says, a little weakly. “I was, uh, just going to borrow your car.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I needed some fresh air.”

 

Zoe’s quiet for a moment. “You were going to go out and get high.”

 

“No,” he insists. She doesn’t reply. He concedes. “Maybe.”

 

He can feel her let him go and she takes the keys out of his hand. He’s preparing himself for her to start yelling at him. 

 

“Let me get my coat,” she says. “And my shoes. We’ll go get McDonald’s.”

 

That’s how he ends up in his sister’s car, driving to the nearest city with a 24 hour McDonald’s. Before they go, Zoe insists they tell someone they’re going - Torpedo, who’s always been a night owl, offers to keep an eye on Evan. 

 

Connor’s ashamed when he realizes he hadn’t even thought of that.

 

He was just going to… go. 

 

He hadn’t even…

 

He tries not to think about it. 

 

Zoe doesn’t say much during the drive, only that Connor wasn’t allowed to change the radio station when they started playing Carly Rae Jepsen. “Gus is obsessed with her, and I’ve been converted,” she says as they pull into the McDonald’s car park. 

 

Zoe orders far too much food, insists on paying and asks for extra ketchup. They take their trays and sit in the nearly empty restaurant, then set about opening ketchup packets and pouring them into a huge pile of ketchup in the middle of the tray. 

 

Connor has vague memories of their dad doing the same thing. 

 

It feels like light years since he’s thought about Larry Murphy.

 

“I totally get why you’d want to get high right now,” Zoe says matter-of-factly. “And I’m not going to do the whole ‘you’re better than that’ bullshit because it’s got nothing to do with anything. But it’s not going to help in the long run, and you and I both know that.”

 

“I wasn’t going to,” Connor lies. “I wouldn’t even know where to get anything here.”

 

“You would have driven until you found somewhere that did,” Zoe says, her tone still extremely matter-of-fact. “I know you. And I know… this.”

 

They don’t talk about this. 

 

They just… don’t. They don’t talk about Connor’s stint in rehab at high school, they don’t talk about Zoe’s drug habit in the aftermath of their parents’ deaths. 

 

They don’t talk about how in so many ways, despite not being biologically related, Zoe and Connor share some pretty fucked up habits. 

 

The closest they’ve gotten was the argument when Evan was missing and Connor had gone on a bender with Dylan and Zoe had yelled at him. 

 

_ “If you think I’m just going to fucking let this go-” _

 

_ “Of course you’re fucking not going to let this go, you’re just going to sit there and act like you’re fucking better than me when you’re every bit-” _

 

He hadn’t had the chance to finish that sentence, but he knows how it was supposed to finish. 

 

When you’re every bit as fucked up as I am. 

 

“You’re right,” he admits. “I… I’m not… I just need to stop thinking for a while, okay? Just a while. And then I’ll stop.”

 

“It doesn’t work like that.”

 

“No,” he agrees. “But right now I… I don’t know what to do.”

 

Zoe dips her fry into the pile of ketchup. “Heidi and Seamus want you to go to rehab,” she says bluntly. “I think they’re right.”

 

“I can’t leave Evan,” he replies, but the argument is getting weaker and weaker, because… 

 

He’d been prepared to just disappear into the night and get high somewhere and steal his sister’s car and didn’t even think about making sure someone kept an eye on Evan. 

 

“I think you have to,” Zoe says quietly. “You’re a mess, he’s a mess, this whole thing is a mess… but you’ve got to make the decision that’s best for everyone. And that’s you getting the help you need.”

 

“I don’t like the thought of abandoning him.”

 

“I know. I get it. But you’re not. You’re helping yourself so you can be in a position to help him better.” Zoe looks at Connor intently, and she looks so sympathetic that he kind of wants to claw his eyes out. “What’s happening with Evan… it could be like this for a very long time. This could be… it could be the new normal and unless you get your health in check, it’ll destroy you. I know you feel like you need to just power through and be strong for him and ignore your own issues, but that’s not going to cut it.”

 

There’s still a voice in Connor’s head that wants to argue. Wants to tell her she’s wrong, that he can’t leave Evan, that he can be what Evan needs right now as long as he just concentrates, but… 

 

He’s got to be realistic. 

 

“Okay. I’ll do it.”


	58. FIFTY-SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The elusive Butterfly.

Torpedo’s used to sitting in a dark room with only the light of his laptop. His mom hates it, that much he knows for sure, but he keeps doing it anyway, even though he knows he should have a light on. It’s useful now, at any rate, as he sits on his laptop and keeps an eye on a sleeping Evan while Connor and Zoe go out for McDonalds in the middle of the night.

 

He suspects that there’s more to the trip than both of them just wanting Big Macs.

 

Torpedo’s spent the last few days double-checking through everything he’d ever found about Neolution, trying to find anything they’ve missed. Anything that could come back and bite them all in the ass.

 

So far, he hasn’t found anything, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop looking.

 

It just seems too good to be true. That it’s all over.

 

There’s got to be something else out there, waiting around the corner to fuck everything up.

 

He thinks back to Reed’s words.

 

_“We can’t live like we’re waiting for the next awful thing to happen. We’ll all go insane.”_

 

Torpedo thinks that maybe this obsessive research is the first sign of insanity.

 

“Connor?”

 

Torpedo looks over to see Evan sitting up in bed, frowning.

 

“Torpedo,” he says gently. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

Evan’s still frowning. “Where’s Connor?”

 

“He and Zoe are out getting McDonalds.”

 

“It’s the middle of the night.”

 

“It is,” Torpedo agrees. “They shouldn’t be too much longer. Go back to sleep.”

 

Evan looks at him for a moment, then turns on the lamp beside his bed. “Any reason you’re sitting in my room watching me sleep?”

 

The question’s blunt and a little tongue in cheek, but it’s very much… Evan. Rather than the shell that’s been walking around these last few days. Torpedo’s almost overwhelmed with a feeling of relief.

 

“I’m just making sure you’re okay,” he says honestly. “How are you? You seem good.”

 

Evan nods. “I’m fine, yeah.” He frowns again. “Everything’s… I can’t explain it, it’s like sometimes everything feels normal and other times there are these big gaps? It’s like… I can’t explain it.”

 

“You don’t have to explain it,” Torpedo says. He picks up the laptop and heads over to the bed and sits next to his friend when it becomes obvious that Evan’s up. Evan moves over to make room for him, still kind of frowning.

 

“Connor’s freaking out about what happened to me,” he says quietly. “Isn’t he?”

 

“It’s pretty scary,” Torpedo says. He doesn’t see the point in lying. “It’s like sometimes you’re here and sometimes you’re not and that’s… that really hurts him, I can tell.”

 

Evan’s face falls. “I hate that I hurt him.”

 

“He hates that you’re hurt.”

 

Evan’s quiet for a moment. “It’s all fuzzy, but… they think there’s some kind of brain trauma? From Adam controlling me?”

 

“They do,” Torpedo confirms. “You went out without shoes today and cut up your feet.”

 

Evan pushes back the covers to look at his feet and sees they’re bandaged up. “Fuck,” he says quietly. “Yeah, I… I can feel that, that’s… fuck.” He looks at Torpedo, his expression a little helpless. “Is it getting better though? I don’t… how long has it been?”

 

“You’ve only been back a few days,” Torpedo says. “And you are getting better. It’s just… it’s probably going to be slow.”

 

“I feel… kind of normal right now,” Evan says quietly, and Torpedo’s a little bit heartbroken that he’s the one who’s here to see it, not Connor.

 

“That’s good,” Torpedo says encouragingly. “That’s really good.”

 

“I taught Gaelle math,” Evan says, remembering.

 

“Did you?” Torpedo replies. “That’s cool.”

 

Evan gestures to the laptop. “What are you working on? A new game?”

 

“I’m researching Neolution. Just making sure there’s nothing we left out.”

 

Evan’s quiet for a moment. “Charles thinks it’s over,” he says after a while. “But you don’t agree.”

 

“I don’t know if I can. Not yet. Not after… after everything. It all seems too easy.”

 

Evan nods. “I get that.” He looks at Torpedo. “Adam was in my head. He could see everything I was thinking, feel everything I was feeling. But it kind of went both ways, so I can tell you that I know Neolution isn’t as big as it seems.” He frowns a little. “I can see how they would have seemed terrifying and scary and like they were everywhere, but it’s just because they were good at hiding. The fact that you found them… they didn’t expect that. It’s enough to bring them down. I’m pretty sure.” Evan looks tired, like the words have taken a lot out of him, and leans back on the headboard. “You’re the one found where they kept us, aren’t you?”

 

“Steve and I found it,” Torpedo confirms.

 

Evan reaches out his hand and grabs Torpedo’s and squeezes it. “Thank you.”

 

“I’m just glad we got you all out,” Torpedo replies, and squeezes back.

 

The door opens, and there’s Connor, and he seems surprised to see Evan awake and the lights on. Evan smiles at Connor, and Connor smiles back, and he looks so fucking relieved it makes Torpedo’s chest hurt.

 

“Good fries?” Evan asks, his voice a little teasing. “Did you do the thing with the ketchup again?”

 

Connor’s smile gets even wider. “Yeah. Yeah, we did.” He looks at Evan with so much warmth and affection and comes to sit at the end of the bed. Then he looks at Torpedo briefly, then back at Evan. “I need to tell you both something,” he says after a moment. “I’m going to go to rehab.”

 

Evan looks at him for a moment, then nods. “I think that’s a really good idea,” he says firmly. “It’s really smart that you’re looking after yourself.”

 

“I’m proud of you,” Torpedo adds, and Connor rolls his eyes but nods.

 

“The plan is for you to stay with your mom and Seamus for awhile,” Connor continues, looking at Evan. “They’ll be able to help while you’re recovering.” He frowns a little. “You’re still, uh…”

 

“Torpedo told me about how I went out with no shoes,” Evan says gently. “Trust me, I can feel it.”

 

Connor’s face falls. “I’m sorry you’re hurt.”

 

Evan shakes his head. “Not your fault. Or mine. I’m just… this is scary, but we’re going to get through it, right?”

 

Connor nods. “Yeah.” He smiles wider. “This is the most lucid you’ve been since you got back, I think. And probably the longest, too. It’s a good sign.”

 

Evan smiles, but it’s fleeting. He winces. “My head hurts,” he murmurs. “I should… maybe I should sleep more.”

 

“That sounds good,” Torpedo says, getting up so Connor can get into bed. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?”

 

The two of them say their goodnights and Torpedo makes his way back into the room he’s sharing with with his mom, who’s fast asleep given the time of night. She’s always slept like the dead, so he’s not worried about waking her up.

 

He gets into bed and opens up his laptop again. He’s still kind of wired, especially after talking to Evan, so he figures he’ll do a bit more research into Neolution, DYAD and anything else that could cause them problems.

 

Torpedo’s definitely not expecting a message to pop up on his screen.

 

I know you’re still scared, Torpedo - but it’s all over. I’ve made sure of it.

 

Alarm bells start to ring in his mind. He’s got no fucking idea how the hell he’s getting this message or who sent it.

 

There’s a blinking cursor in front of him. He types in a reply.

 

Who are you?

 

The reply is almost instant.

 

A friend.

 

Torpedo tries not to scream in frustration.

 

No offence, but I don’t believe you.

 

You’re working with Special Agent Noah Fence, aren’t you?

Have to admit, I still think his name is ridiculous.

 

I’m serious, who are you?

 

You can call me Butterfly. I’m on your side, I promise.

 

All of a sudden, a folder of files start downloading onto Torpedo’s computer. His first instinct is to disconnect his computer, turn everything off, make sure that he can’t be tracked because he’s not an idiot, someone is obviously hacking him, but then another message pops up.

 

This is everything I have on Neolution and DYAD.

I’ve sent it to Agents Fence and Brewer as well.

Maybe it’ll give you some peace of mind.

 

Torpedo opens the first file, despite himself.

 

It’s a full report on James Haines. Date and place of birth, social security number, known associates, education, known addresses, name change records, medical history… everything.

 

I’ve been listening in on Neolution for a while.

They weren’t easy to crack into. It took me years to get into their servers.

Even then, I didn’t know what they were planning until it was too late to do anything.

And I didn’t know exactly what they were going to do.

I warned the FBI the best I could.

 

Torpedo remembers Fence and Brewer saying that someone had left an anonymous tip, the day before ERAS blew.

 

You told them DYAD wanted Evan Hansen.

 

The reply takes a while to come through.

 

Yes.

I figured if I said DYAD, they’d pay attention.

I knew Neolution wasn’t even on their radar.

 

Torpedo’s freaking out. He’s not going to lie.

 

If you’re a friend and were listening in on Neolution, why didn’t you get in touch with me before?

Or give the FBI more information?

 

Another maddening pause.

 

It wasn’t safe.

 

For you or for us?

 

Torpedo stares at the screen and bites his lip hard. Finally, finally there’s a response.

 

For me.

I’m not exactly operating within the law.

 

What do you mean by that?

 

Once again, it takes a while for Butterfly to respond.

 

You think you’re clever, hacking into places you’re not supposed to be?

Let’s just say you think too small.

 

Just as Torpedo’s about to reply, another message comes through.

 

The nice thing about creepy underground corporations is that when you steal millions of dollars from them, you don’t have to feel bad about it.

 

Torpedo has absolutely no idea how to take that. It genuinely takes him a moment to formulate a response.

 

So you ripped off Neolution?

 

This time, the responses are quick.

 

Exactly.

But I ripped off DYAD first.

To be honest, ERAS taking them down did me a favour. I made a ridiculous amount of money.

Don’t worry, I’m not rolling around on piles of cash or anything.

I’ve redistributed most of it.

 

Torpedo’s moved past freaked out and is now mostly confused and curious.

 

Are you trying to tell me you’re some kind of modern day Robin Hood?

 

Hah. Cute.

I mean, kind of.

A little?

Anyway, that’s besides the point.

 

Torpedo rolls his eyes.

 

Enlighten me. What’s the point?

 

The point is that you don’t need to worry about Neolution anymore.

I see you looking into them, trying to find more information.

And I get it - you’re scared they’ll come for you again.

Trust me, they won’t.

They don’t have the resources.

 

Because you ripped them off?

 

Because I ripped them off.

 

Torpedo stares at the screen for a moment, not sure what to say next. He’s taking screenshots of the whole conversation, making sure he’s got a record, because he has a sneaking suspicion none of this is going to be saved once the conversation ends.

 

Why tell me this now? Why even bother getting in touch with me?

 

Call it common courtesy.

Or just looking out for family.

 

Suddenly, it snaps into place.

 

You’re a clone.

 

The response is immediate.

 

Took you long enough.

 

There’s a universe of questions in his mind, but he goes with the first one.

 

Just because you’re a clone doesn’t mean you’re automatically on our side.

 

This time Butterfly seems to be considering their response, because it takes a while for an answer to appear.

 

It doesn’t mean I’m your enemy, either.

I may not have wanted to risk my neck helping you more than I did but that doesn’t mean I’m out to get you.

In fact, I’ve done you some favors.

 

Torpedo bites his lip.

 

How, exactly?

 

I’ve made sure to keep some things hidden.

Things like Gus Sadler and Connor Murphy’s healing ability.

And the fact that their blood can be used to heal other people.

Not to mention that Gaelle Beaufort is the daughter of a clone.

You won’t find any trace of that in Neolution’s files.

Or the FBI records.

 

The hair on the back of Torpedo’s neck is standing on end. His head is spinning at all of this.

 

Why would you do that?

 

The response is so quick it almost gives Torpedo whiplash.

 

Because no one needs to know that shit.

Because no one knowing that shit will keep them safe.

I’m not a monster.

I know what an organization like Neolution or DYAD would do if they found out.

No one deserves that.

Especially not a kid, for fuck’s sake.

 

Torpedo decides he’s going to press his luck.

 

So where are you, then?

 

This response takes a while, and when it arrives Torpedo has to laugh.

 

On a beach somewhere.

Drinking something delicious out of a coconut in a bikini.

 

Torpedo narrows his eyes. They’re clearly fucking with him.

 

Bullshit.

 

There’s a long pause before the mysterious clone replies and it dawns on Torpedo that they might not be kidding about the bikini. He’s heard plenty of rants about how clothing has no gender from Reed and he knows for a fact that there are trans women clones.

 

Now that he thinks about it, this clone calls themself Butterfly. That implies some sort of metamorphosis.

 

It’s possible, but in the end it doesn’t really matter.

 

Believe what you want.

Anyway, check the files. I sent through some ideas for a security upgrade.

Neolution got into the ERAS system, thanks to a couple of people on the inside, but if you use some of my suggestions, you should be able to keep that from happening again, no matter how sneaky your staff are.

 

Torpedo rolls his eyes at that.

 

We’ve got new security sorted, thanks.

 

Torpedo can almost hear the derision in their response.

 

You think you’ve got it sorted but you’re wrong.

I got into your “new security” without any problems.

Seriously, it was so easy.

Tell Jared Kleinman to step up his game.

Once he gets over the whole being stabbed thing, that is.

 

Butterfly, whoever they are, definitely doesn’t pull any punches.

 

I’ll be sure to pass that along.

Was there anything else while you’re completely terrifying me by messaging me out of the blue and letting me know you’ve been watching my every move?

This reply is quick.

 

Haha. I always thought I’d like you.

Shame we’ll never meet in person.

We probably won’t talk again unless I come across something that concerns you and your little gang.

I’m always keeping an eye out.

 

Torpedo can’t help but roll his eyes.

 

Think you could give us a bit more to go on next time?

 

He looks at the blinking cursor for a moment, then a message pops up.

 

You found that Neolution location in Maine pretty quickly, didn’t you?

 

You’re welcome.

 

“Oh my god,” Torpedo mutters to himself. Still, he can’t help but ask.

 

What about the dentist locations?

 

Did you send us those, too?

 

This response is instant.

 

No, that was you and Steve.

Don’t think you’re bad at this or anything, because you’re not.

You’ve got skills, but at the end of the day, you boys are amateurs and I play pro.

Take some comfort in the fact that you’re better at this than the FBI.

Lazy assholes.

 

Torpedo actually laughs out loud at that. His mom moves a little in her sleep, and he feels bad for a moment but when she doesn’t say anything, he looks back at the screen.

 

I guess that’s good to know.

 

There’s another long pause and Torpedo thinks that Butterfly might have left. He’s about to start going through all the files when there’s another message.

 

I get that us computer nerds do our best work in the middle of the night, but you should probably get some sleep.

Seriously, I’ve sent you everything you’ll need.

You don’t need to worry about Neolution anymore.

Oh, and nice try with the screenshots.

 

Torpedo narrows his eyes. Before he can do anything, he sees all the screenshots he’s taken on the conversation disappear from his desktop and the message box vanishes entirely.

 

There’s no sign that Butterfly was ever even there.

 

“Oh my god, you fucking _asshole.”_

 

Torpedo’s just about to turn off his laptop when an image appears on the screen.

 

When he realizes what it is, he genuinely laughs out loud.

 

It’s a screenshot of the global leaderboard for Pizza Torpedo.

 

In the number one spot? A user named **the_elusive_butterfly.**


	59. FIFTY-EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keep going.

When Saturday rolls around, the majority of the group is prepared to leave on Sunday to get back into their usual routines come Monday morning. It’s bittersweet, in a way - Reed’s gotten used to all of them being in the same place. Lucas and Donna arrive just before lunch on Saturday and it just makes it all feel a bit more like home. 

 

By Monday, it’ll just be Jared, Gaelle and Lili at the safe house. Connor will be starting rehab while Heidi and Seamus take Evan back to Boston to their place. They’re hoping that the familiar environment will help him in his recovery. 

 

Reed can see that Evan’s improving, but honestly it feels like two steps forward, one step back most of the time. Sometimes Evan seems completely normal and is happily discussing work with them with no sign of ever having had any kind of brain injury, and the next he’s staring into space or forgetting how to use a fork. 

 

As guilty as Reed knows their clone is feeling about it all, they’re glad that Connor’s going to rehab. Not only because he needs to get healthy, but also because it’s got to be hard, seeing his fiance struggling so much. Some time away from it to focus on his recovery will do him the world of good. 

 

Beanpole and Tina are planning to stay in Boston for a little while longer to help get ERAS back on its feet. It’s been agreed that they’ll stay at Evan and Connor’s place while Connor’s in rehab and Evan’s at Seamus and Heidi’s. Connor will be in rehab for 90 days, so it works out well, especially considering how often Evan asks if someone’s watering his plants. 

 

(On Friday afternoon, Zoe and Gus go to Evan and Connor’s apartment and do a thorough sweep for any drugs Connor might have hidden. Between the two of them, they know all his hiding spots. While they were there, they made sure all the plants were watered and healthy.)

 

Rita’s been on a leave of absence from her job since all the clone stuff started. Given that they hadn’t known what was going to happen and she couldn’t give a time frame, she’s technically unemployed. She’s got plenty of contacts in the industry to find another job, but for the time being she’s decided that she needs a bit of time off to recover from everything, and Reed honestly can’t blame her. 

 

On Monday, the three of them will head to the lake house for the week, and Reed’s very much looking forward to some rest and relaxation with their partners. 

 

Miranda’s going back to Switzerland. She’s still concerned about Jared’s report that Evan had insisted Neolution had people there, and despite Fence and Brewer assuring everyone that it was taken care of, she wants to check everything out for herself. 

 

There’d been information about the European branch of Neolution in the information Torpedo had received from the mysterious Butterfly, which Torpedo still won’t stop talking about. The minute he’d told a still recovering Jared that this Butterfly had managed to hack into the new ERAS security, Jared immediately wanted his computer so he could look into it. 

 

Reed can tell that Jared and Torpedo are completely obsessed with tracking down Butterfly but they honestly doubt they’re going to find them, if they’re as good as they say. Torpedo had recounted their conversation, including their theory that Butterfly might be a trans woman clone, and Reed thinks that if that’s true, then good for her. 

 

They know a few trans women clones through Clonebook, all of whom are lovely ladies, but off the top of their head they can’t recall any of them being brilliant hackers. 

 

Then again, they’d hardly admit it on Clonebook if they were. 

 

Jenny’s heading back to New Jersey but Torpedo’s going to stay in Boston in Evan and Connor’s spare room so he can help with getting ERAS up and running again. He’s also staying in touch with Fence and Brewer, who’ll be finishing up their investigation back in Washington DC come Monday morning. 

 

Brewer and Fence are coming to dinner on Saturday evening, and Reed’s more than a little curious to see how all of them together will pan out. They’re particularly interested to see how Fence and Lucas get along, since as far as they know they haven’t met. 

 

The most surprising thing to Reed is that Hannah is heading back to her mom’s to recover fully. She’d been so completely sure she wanted to be involved in everything going on that Reed was honestly taken aback when they found out. They’d have expected Hannah to want to stay in Boston, to get back into the swing of things. 

 

It all made a bit more sense when Hannah explained, face pale, that now that things had calmed down a little bit, she’d been having a lot of anxiety attacks. She’d Skyped with her therapist and they’d discussed options and in the end, the familiarity and safety of her childhood home seemed like the best idea. 

 

In all honesty, Reed doesn’t blame her. Someone’s tried to kill her twice - three times if you count what happened at ERAS - and it’s been a fucking stressful two weeks. 

 

Zoe, for her part, will be staying with Hannah and her mom and popping back to Boston every now and then to visit Connor in rehab and check up on Woofles. Gus assures her that the business will run fine without her for a while. 

 

Steve and Penny are heading home to get stuck back into their normal lives and Gus will be heading back to Boston as well to get back into managing Woofles. The rehab facility Connor will be staying in is in Boston, and Reed suspects that Gus wants to be near his twin, despite the fact that they seem to be steadfastly avoiding each other at the moment. 

 

Reed hadn’t known what was going on between Gus and Connor until, strangely enough, he had a conversation with a lucid Evan in the kitchen one morning. 

 

Gus had been there cooking pancakes and when Connor walked in, the two of them hadn’t spoken. Eventually Connor had excused himself to go to the bathroom, Gus had made a hasty retreat once the pancakes were cooked and it had left Reed and Evan alone in the kitchen. 

 

“They don’t see eye to eye about Adam,” Evan had said, completely out of the blue. Considering that Evan had been staring into space with that blank look since he arrived in the kitchen, Reed hadn’t expected him to speak. When Reed looks at him, his eyes are clear and full of sadness. 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“Gus wanted to save Adam,” Evan had said quietly. “He wanted to take Adam with us when we left Neolution. To try to heal him, to give him a chance at having a normal life.” He sighed. “Connor wanted him to pay for what he did.” 

 

“He’s dead,” Reed had replied, trying to put it all together. “Didn’t he sacrifice himself so that you could leave?”

 

“He did,” Evan said, and he looks sad. “So neither Gus or Connor got what they wanted. Not really.” 

 

“Or both of them got what they wanted,” Reed pointed out. “Gus wanted Adam to have redemption. By sacrificing himself, he got that. And Connor wanted him dead.”

 

“It’s not that simple,” Evan said wearily. “It’s… Connor doesn’t like that Gus wanted Adam to save him. After what happened, he thinks that Gus shouldn’t forgive him. And he’s hurt that he does, because he thinks it means that Gus doesn’t care about…”

 

When it became obvious Evan wasn’t going to respond, Reed had finished the train of thought. “Connor thinks it means that Gus doesn’t care about what happened to you.”

 

“Yeah,” Evan said with a nod. 

 

“And what do you think about it?” Reed had asked. 

 

Evan had frowned then. “He was in my head for so long,” he said slowly. “I saw him. Saw how broken he was, saw how much he’d suffered. And I felt sorry for him, but…” Evan chuckled humorlessly and gestured to his head. “He’s fucked me up. He made me  _ hurt _ people. Sometimes I’m here and sometimes I’m a million miles away, and I can’t… I wish I were as forgiving as Gus, but I don’t think I can be.”

 

“And you don’t have to be,” Reed assured him. “Neither does Connor.” 

 

“Agreeing to disagree isn’t really how the Sadler-Murphys do it,” Evan had said with a wry smile. “It’s just not their style.”

 

“No,” Reed had agreed then. “It’s not.”

 

Then Evan had dropped a plate and gone to pick up the pieces and cut his hand on a sharp edge and immediately shut down. Reed had managed to get him to a chair to sit down and bandage up his hand and Connor had come back and immediately freaked out and it had been like the whole conversation had never happened. 

 

Now it’s Saturday afternoon and Reed’s sitting in the living room along with most of the adults in the house watching Kid Gorgeous on Netflix at Gus’s insistence. It’s an open plan kitchen and dining room that connect to the living room and Reed can see through to the dining room where Connor’s sitting reading a book in the corner and Evan is playing Scrabble with Hannah, Zoe and Hannah’s brother Daniel, who arrived unexpectedly on Friday night. 

 

Reed likes Daniel. He’s a cool guy who doesn’t seem to be bothered by literally anything. As an example, it’s clear that Evan’s struggling with his memory while playing Scrabble but instead of getting frustrated, Daniel’s staying cool and being genuinely patient with him. Eventually Reed sees it turns into a team game of Scrabble, with Evan and Daniel on one team and Zoe and Hannah on the other, which seems to work a little better. 

 

The doorbell rings and Reed goes to answer it to find that Fence and Brewer have arrived. It’s the first time they’ve seen them in civilian gear, and it’s a little weird. Brewer is in a floral wrap dress with her long curly hair down and she’s even wearing a little bit of makeup, which is a stark contrast to her usual business-like appearance. Fence, on the other hand, is in a nice pair of jeans, a shirt and what looks like a cardigan, which is… not what Reed was expecting. He looks good, it’s just unexpected. 

 

Brewer grins at Reed’s obvious surprise. “We’re not always on duty, you know,” she says teasingly. 

 

“You look lovely, Agent Brewer,” says Reed warmly. 

 

“You can call me Marigold,” she says immediately. “I think we’re past the Agent Brewer thing now, don’t you?”

 

Reed looks at Fence and grins. “Does this mean I can call you Noah?”

 

“No you may not,” he says firmly. “But you can call me Drew.”

 

“Alright,” Reed says with a nod. They lead them through into the living room. “Hey guys, Drew and Marigold are here!”

 

“Who?” 

 

“Agent Fence and Agent Brewer,” they clarify. “We’re on a first name basis with the FBI now, how cool is that?”

 

“I thought his name was Noah,” says Steve in obvious confusion. 

 

Drew rolls his eyes. “If your parents named you Noah Fence, wouldn’t you go by your middle name?”

 

“Fair enough,” says Steve. “I know what it’s like to go by a different name. I picked Steve when we moved to America, but before that I always went by my Korean name.”

 

“What is your name in Korean?” Gus asks, clearly interested. 

 

“Daeshim.”

 

“Daeshim,” says Gus, clearly trying it out. To Reed’s ears he seems to be doing an okay job with the pronunciation, and from the smile on Steve’s face and the nod of approval Chiv’s giving, it seems they agree.

 

Gus turns to Chiv. “Do you have Korean name or is it just Chiv?”

 

“I don’t have a Korean name,” he admits. “My parents wanted me to have an English name, but they just picked a word they thought was cool and named me Chivalry. I’ve gone by Chiv since I was a kid.”

 

“Your parents named you Chivalry?” Torpedo asks with a laugh. “I guess us clones don’t have the market cornered on weird names.”

 

“I actually don’t think Marvin’s that bad a name,” Steve says.

 

“Well, yeah, but that’s because it’s not  _ your _ name.”

 

They can hear the door open and Lucas, Donna, Lili, Gaelle and Penny show up in the living room. Gus takes the opportunity to turn off the television and Penny comes bounding toward them and sits on Gus’s lap. 

 

“Lucas and Donna took us to the park!” she announces. “I saw a squirrel!”

 

“You have seen many squirrels,” Gus says, sounding impressed. “It is not easy for me to see squirrels. Pampushka scares them, I think.”

 

“Pampushka was with me last time I saw a squirrel,” Penny points out. “Maybe I have secret squirrel powers.”

 

“It is possible,” Gus agrees with a nod. “Perhaps you are squirrel whisperer.”

 

“Gaelle can’t say squirrel,” Penny says, looking at her friend. “But it’s okay, because I can’t say squirrel in French.”

 

The two girls then launch into an enthusiastic impromptu French lesson and Reed looks over and Lucas and Donna. Donna and Lili are talking animatedly but Lucas is just watching the girls, a wistful expression on his face. 

 

Reed had been a little bit surprised when Donna had suggested that the girls go to the park with her and Lucas, but had soon realized that Donna was curious about Gaelle. Lili had asked if she could join them, which Reed thinks is why Steve agreed to let Penny go without him. It kind of seemed like Lucas was just going because Donna wanted to. 

 

Reed had kind of figured that the whole having kids thing was mostly Donna’s idea. But given the look on Lucas’s face, perhaps it’s not the case.

 

Drew and Marigold are standing a little awkwardly to the side, so Reed takes the opportunity to introduce them to Lucas and Donna. It’s almost fun to watch Drew and Lucas size each other up and awkwardly shake hands. 

 

“So you’re in the FBI,” Lucas says, his tone a little hesitant. “That’s, uh, that’s intense.”

 

“It can be,” says Drew, his face neutral. 

 

“Right.”

 

“And what do you do?”

 

“I’m a financial advisor.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“Donna,” Gus calls out from his position in the sofa. “Do you bring the karaoke machine this time?”

 

Drew’s eyes widen in alarm. “Karaoke machine?”

 

Donna grins. “What do you take me for, Gus? Of course I did.”

 

“Oh my god,” Reed hears Drew mutter as Marigold cracks up laughing. 

 

Gus practically jumps to his feet and heads toward Donna. “I will carry it into house,” he announces enthusiastically. Pampushka barks in apparent approval. 

 

With wide smiles, Donna and Gus head to the front door, Lucas following after them with slightly less enthusiasm. It’s barely five minutes later when they’re setting up the karaoke machine in the corner of the living room, Penny and Gaelle looking on with interest. 

 

“No one said there’d be karaoke,” Drew says, a little desperately. “You’re not expecting me to sing, are you?”

 

“Only if you want to,” Gus assures him. “There is no pressure here.”

 

“Speak for yourself,” says Marigold with a grin. She hip checks Drew almost aggressively. “You owe me a duet, partner.”

 

“I’d rather get shot again.”

 

Penny’s eyes are wide. “You were  _ shot?” _

 

“Oh boy,” Steve mutters. 

 

Penny’s distracted by Donna’s promise to sing her a “princess song”, which results in Donna belting out a track from the newest Disney movie which has both Penny and Gaelle completely starstruck. Tina goes to the kitchen and starts passing out drinks, and Reed goes with her to assist. 

 

There’s a short conversation about dinner, which results in Seamus, Heidi, Jenny and Miranda heading out to get takeout. Reed suspects they’re all trying to avoid singing but no one calls them on it. 

 

And soon enough, everyone’s in the living room or the connected dining room, taking turns at karaoke, drinking and having a good time. They’ve even managed to get Jared out of his room, though he’s still not able to walk so he’s in a wheelchair. Lili sticks to his side the whole time and Reed notices that while Jared’s not saying much, he keeps looking over at Evan, who’s sitting next to Connor. 

 

Reed wonders whether they should intervene, as the last thing anyone needs is a scene tonight. They keep a close eye on Jared and on Evan. After a couple of numbers, two things become obvious. The first is that Evan’s not in a good space - he’s back to the dead-eyed stare and doesn’t seem to be aware of what’s going on around him. The second is that Jared’s clearly noticed this fact and is more than a little concerned. 

 

They haven’t had a lot to do with Jared, but they have stopped by to visit him a couple of times. Unlike Hannah, Jared hasn’t really been able to leave his room. In fact, today might be the first time he’s actually managed to get out of it. His injuries are more recent than Hannah’s, so he’s had less time to recover, and once Hannah moved to a different room, Jared hadn’t had a ton of human contact. 

 

Which makes sense, to be honest. At the end of the day, Clone Club aren’t really Jared’s people. Connor hates him, as does Zoe, Hannah wasn’t a huge fan and while Charles is a friend, he’s also busy. Torpedo’s spent a bit of time with him, and of course Miranda, Lili and Gaelle are there, but the only other person who’s been checking up on him is Heidi, and even that comes second to looking after Evan. 

 

Reed knows from conversations with Miranda that Jared’s parents aren’t exactly the easiest. Once Jared had woken up, it had taken a grand total of one conversation with their son for the Kleinmans to decide that they were heading home because clearly, Jared didn’t appreciate everything they’d done for him, had a whole new family and didn’t need their help and they shouldn’t have even bothered coming all this way. Which, in Reed’s opinion, is completely insane. Their mommas would never do something like that, much less after major surgery. 

 

(Reed has kept Momma K and Momma L in the loop about what’s happening, but only in the very vaguest terms. The less they know, the better.)

 

Reed can see the moment Connor notices that Jared’s looking at Evan. He wraps a protective arm around his fiance’s shoulder and sends Jared a look that’s so scathing Reed’s surprised it doesn’t cause physical injury. 

 

Jared looks away, his face turning red. 

 

Connor pulls Evan closer to him, catches Reed’s eye then looks away. 

 

Evan doesn’t react at all. 

 

Just as Gus is finishing up an enthusiastic but utterly tuneless version of Call Me Maybe, Seamus, Heidi, Jenny and Miranda come back with food. Bags and bags of food. There’s Chinese and Indian and some pizzas and french fries and it’s completely ridiculous and Reed kind of loves it. Jenny makes sure to point to Reed which dishes are vegan and lets the Weiss family know which dishes are kosher, which Ruth seems surprised they’ve remembered, and the karaoke machine goes off as everyone helps themselves to something to eat. 

 

After dinner, Penny and Gaelle insist on singing three songs in a row from Frozen, which Reed thinks is hilarious considering the film came out before either of them were born. They really get into it, hamming it up like nobody’s business, and Reed can’t get over how proud Gus looks. 

 

It’s lucky that both of them are a lot more tuneful than Gus. 

 

Marigold, it turns out, has a killer voice, and does a fantastic rendition of Dreams by Fleetwood Mac that has the whole room applauding, none louder than Drew. It takes a while for Beanpole to find a song that has clean enough lyrics to perform with children present but he ends up flawlessly rapping something Reed doesn’t recognize, to everyone’s amusement. Torpedo and his mom perform an enthusiastic duet of something by the Gin Blossoms that Reed hasn’t heard in years and after much coaxing, Miranda takes to the makeshift stage to sing La Vie en Rose, which is not exactly how Reed was expecting the evening to go but isn’t complaining about. 

 

It’s getting late. The girls need to go to be and everyone who’s not staying overnight has at least an hour’s drive ahead of them. Gus and Donna reluctantly pack down the karaoke machine and everyone starts saying their goodbyes. 

 

Reed thinks it’s different from every other time they’ve all been together. 

 

For one, there are more people. A lot more people. New faces, new connections and new relationships to navigate. 

 

And even though it’s been an evening full of food and drinks and karaoke and conversations and good people, it hasn’t been a celebration. Not really. 

 

Everyone knows there’s still a long way to go. Recovery that needs to happen, healing that needs to take place. 

 

On second thought, maybe it is a celebration, just one that’s a bit different. 

 

They’re not celebrating that they’ve gone through hell and everything’s fine now. 

 

They’re celebrating the fact that they’re still going. 

 

Maybe that’s what’s important. 


	60. FIFTY-NINE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A departure.

Jared knows that people are leaving on Sunday and soon, it’ll just be him, Lili and Gaelle in this weird, large house in the middle of… somewhere. He’s not actually sure where they are, but it’s kind of the least of his worries at the moment. He’s sure someone would tell them if he asked, given that apparently the insanity of the past few weeks has come to some kind of dramatic climax and they’re all safe now, but he doesn’t think he really cares.

 

Despite the fact that he hasn’t really left his room the whole time he’s been here, it’s going to be different with only him, Lili and Gaelle here. Jared knows that Gaelle is going to miss Penny, who has come with Gaelle to visit him a few times and seems like a nice kid.

 

Heidi’s said she’ll make sure to visit and check in on them, which is nice of her. Jared’s still a little taken aback at just how ridiculous his parents were in the aftermath of his injury. As much as he’d like to pretend he doesn’t care, it still stings.

 

It stings that as far as he can tell, they came all the way to Boston to tell him they didn’t approve of his life choices while he was recovering from major surgery and then just leaving.

 

A+ parenting, right there.

 

He’d never do anything like that to Gaelle.

 

It’s Sunday morning, and Jared knows that Gaelle and Penny are going to the park one last time with Lili and Steve and Gus and Gus’s dog with the name Jared can’t pronounce. There’s been a more or less steady flow of people popping in to say goodbye - Torpedo actually gave him an awkward hug, which was unexpected but not unwelcome.

 

Then there’s a knock on the door and he calls out for whoever’s there to come in, and it’s the last people he expects.

 

Connor Murphy and Evan Hansen.

 

“What are you doing here?” Jared asks, his tone harsher than he intends.

 

Jared can see Evan steeling himself. He looks… better than he did last night. He looks present and stable and his eyes are clear and it’s a good sign.

 

“I wanted to talk to you,” Evan says.

 

“Fine,” Jared replies, “but did you really have to bring Connor?”

 

“Believe me, I’d rather be almost anywhere else,” Connor replies, his tone bordering on caustic. Jared can see Connor clenching his jaw and his expression falls a little. “I’m just here to make sure Evan…”

 

There’s an awkward pause. Evan looks at Connor, takes his hand and squeezes it tight. Evan looks at Jared. “I’m not always here,” Evan says, and it’s blunter than Jared expects. “Sometimes I kind of… slip away. And considering you’re pretty much stuck in bed, we figured that if something happened, you shouldn’t have to deal with it.”

 

“Makes sense,” Jared says after a moment, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

 

He’d heard a lot about how Evan had been practically catatonic after escaping from Neolution but he’d only seen it for himself yesterday, and it was more than a little unsettling.

 

Jared’s known Evan for over twenty years by now, since they were both just kids. Even when Evan was quiet and in the background, he was always moving. Fidgeting or looking around nervously, hyper-aware of everything around him. Seeing him still and dead-eyed feels completely wrong, completely unnatural and kind of freaks him out.

 

And if he’s freaked out seeing Evan like that, imagine how it must make his fiance feel.

 

“I wanted to apologize,” Evan says in a rush. “I’m sorry about what happened. I… I swear, I tried to stop him.”

 

“I know you did,” Jared replies immediately. He doesn’t even have to think about it. “You don’t owe me an apology for what happened. I know it wasn’t you.”

 

“It was still your blood on my hands,” Evan says, his voice shaky.

 

“Physically, yeah,” Jared concedes, “but metaphorically? No way. I know it wasn’t you. It was that asshole who took over your body.”

 

Connor’s standing slightly behind Evan, his arms crossed over his torso defensively. He’s holding himself higher than he did back in high school but he’s still got that defensive stance, as if he’s expected an attack any minute.

 

Jared tries not to think about it.

 

He’s spent a lot of time trying not to think about Connor Murphy over the years.

 

He remembers back in senior year when he found out that ‘Connor’ killed himself. It was the talk of the school that Connor had been found dead of an overdose in a park and for some reason, he’d cut off all his hair.

 

When Jared found out, he spent more than a few sleepless nights, wishing he could take back his ‘school shooter chic’ comment from the first day of school.

 

It made him feel like he’d shoved those pills down Connor’s throat himself.

 

“Okay,” says Connor, looking at Evan and pointedly not looking at Jared. “We done here?”

 

Evan looks at Connor, puts his hand on his arm and then turns back to Jared. “How are you?”

 

“Honestly?” Jared replies. “I’m pretty fucking uncomfortable. I don’t recommend getting stabbed in the stomach.”

 

“If it’s anything like getting shot in the stomach, I feel you,” Evan says with a nod. He rolls his eyes. “Gotta admit, never thought my life would get this interesting when we were kids.”

 

“Getting mind controlled via a chip in your tooth is definitely the most interesting thing to ever happen to you,” Jared declares.

 

Evan raises an eyebrow. “Discovering a human cloning conspiracy wasn’t interesting enough for you?”

 

“Definitely not,” Jared replies. “Mind controlling teeth is where it’s at.”

 

Connor snorts, but doesn’t look at Jared.

 

Evan looks at him for a long moment, then something in his expression changes. He looks… confused.

 

Jared can tell the moment Connor notices. He tenses, then takes Evan’s arm gently.

 

“I’m going to be late for homeroom,” Evan says in this weird, floaty tone, and Jared’s blood runs cold.

 

“No you’re not,” Connor replies gently. “It’s going to be fine.”

 

Evan looks at Connor, and his expression is so lost that Jared genuinely feels uneasy. “No one signed my cast.”

 

“I signed your cast, remember?” Connor says, and it’s like there’s no one else in the room with them. He’s completely focused on Evan and he’s so gentle and patient and this is freaking Jared out because he feels like an intruder, like he shouldn’t be watching this, because it’s more intimate than anything he’s ever seen before.

 

Evan looks unsure. “I’m going to be late for homeroom,” he says again.

 

“Okay,” says Connor. “We can go.” He looks over at Jared, jaw tense. “Uh, well done for not dying or whatever. Good luck with the whole stab wound thing.” Connor moves his arm around Evan and heads toward the door.

 

“Wait,” says Jared, completely out of the blue. He doesn’t know why he’s saying it.

 

Connor turns around and looks at him. “What?”

 

“Evan didn’t need to apologize,” Jared says. “But I do. I’m sorry about senior year and what I said. It wasn’t… it was a dick move.”

 

“Right,” says Connor, frowning. “It’s whatever.”

 

“Not really.”

 

“No, not really.” Connor sighs. “But it’s been ten years, so… whatever.”

 

The two of them stare each other down for a while. After a moment, Connor’s shoulders drop.

 

“I don’t think we’re ever going to be friends,” says Connor slowly. “But the reality is, you’re one of the few people from my past who knows I didn’t die in high school. And even if I don’t like it, you’re part of this whole… this whole thing, so… we don’t have to like each other, but we can be cool with each other, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Jared says, because that’s completely fine by him.

 

He doesn’t need to be friends with Connor. Or with Evan. Not really.

 

But just because they’re not really friends doesn’t mean he’s not sorry that they’re going through what they are now.

 

“Evan’s stubborn,” Jared says finally. “He’s a fighter. And it’s not like he’s not used to fighting his brain. He’ll… he’ll be okay.”

 

Connor nods. “Yeah.” He gestures vaguely in Jared’s reaction. “I was, uh… I hope you heal quickly from the stab wound.” He smirks a little. “You’ve got a pretty energetic kid to take care of.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Gaelle is pretty great,” Connor says quietly. “Try not to fuck that up, okay?”

 

“That’s what I tell myself in the mirror every morning,” Jared quips.

 

Connor actually laughs at that. It’s short and sharp and not entirely convincing, but it’s a laugh.

 

“Right. Okay, well…”

 

Connor gives an awkward salute, then ushers Evan out of the door, leaving Jared alone in the room to try and process what the hell just happened.

 

* * *

Gus is one of the last to leave the safe house.

 

The first to leave are Beanpole, Tina and Miranda, for Miranda has a flight back to Switzerland and needs to get to an airport. It is only Gus and Pampushka who are awake when they leave, and it is quite nice to have coffee and muffins with them before they depart.

 

It is good to see Beanpole and Tina, and it is also good that they will stay in Boston for some time. Gus likes this very much as he missed them when they were gone. He is sad though that Beanpole must put off his studies once again. He speaks of this with Beanpole over breakfast, but Beanpole does not mind.

 

“It’ll always be there,” he says as he sips his tea. “It’s more important that I look after ERAS now.”

 

“What is the plan?” Gus asks, as he is curious. “You have a new building, yes?”

 

“We have one we’re in now,” says Tina, “but it’s only temporary. But we’ve found a site for a brand new complex and ERAS International have signed off on the necessary funding.”

“We’ll be meeting with an architect this week,” says Beanpole, and he sounds as though he is quite excited. “It’s an opportunity to create something really special. It might take a while, but I think in the long run we’re going to come back from this a hell of a lot stronger.”

 

“Then this is very good,” Gus declares. “It is good when you can take something that is not so good and make it good. I like this very much.”

 

He helps them take their bags to the car, even though they say this is not necessary. Before they leave, he gives Beanpole and Tina hugs and shakes hands with Miranda, who he has not had the chance to get to know very much but thinks is a very nice lady. Gaelle has many good things to say about her grandmother, and Gus thinks that perhaps she is not someone to show emotion outwardly but there is much inside of her.

 

And then, they drive off, and Gus watches them go.

 

Next it is Hannah, Ruth, Daniel and Zoe. Because Hannah still has many injuries, it will be a slow and steady drive for them to return to Hannah’s childhood home. They will make stops along the way to be comfortable and Zoe promises to let Gus know they are safe throughout the journey.

 

Gus makes eggs for everyone before they go. It is sad to know that he will not see Zoe almost every day like he is used to, but he feels that what they are doing is best for Hannah. Zoe tells him she will visit much and they will Skype often to be sure that Woofles is okay.

 

He is very proud of what they have created at Woofles. They have good staff who have kept the business going strong through the crisis times. Gus and Zoe both agree that there is room in the budget for staff to have bonuses as a thank you for their hard work on short notice, and Gus is looking forward to telling them this.

 

It takes some time for them to prepare the car for the trip. Hannah is doing much better, but still it will be a long, tiring journey. Zoe has hired a car that is large and comfortable for the trip, and also found many pillows for Hannah to make the journey nice for her. Hannah says many times that it is not worth the fuss, but Zoe does not listen, which does not surprise Gus at all.

 

He is sure to be gentle when he hugs Hannah goodbye, but when he goes to hug Zoe it is so tight it is almost hard to breathe.

 

“I’ll miss you,” Zoe says tearfully.

 

“I will miss you also,” Gus replies truthfully. “It will be strange not to see you as much. But we will all be together soon.”

 

He says farewell to Ruth and Daniel also, and then, they are off.

 

Torpedo and Jenny leave quickly, as they have overslept. They do not have time for food before they go, but they do have time to put coffee in a thermos and take it with them.

 

(Gus thinks the thermos is one of the most brilliant creations.)

 

It is not often that Gus sees Torpedo and Jenny, but it is also not rare for him to see them. It is somewhere in the middle. This farewell is not so hard. It has been nice for them to be around, though, and Gus gives them both a hug and walks them out to their car.

 

Jenny makes two toots with her horn as they drive down the driveway and Gus waves, even though he is not sure they can see him.

 

When he returns to the house, Gaelle and Penny are wearing shoes and jackets and Lili and Steve are with them. They have been waiting for Gus and Pampushka. Before Steve and Penny go home, they would like one more visit to the park.

 

Gus thinks this is an excellent idea.

 

They take their time as they walk. Gaelle and Penny go ahead with Lili, and Steve reaches out his hand so Gus can hold it.

 

It is very nice.

 

When they get to the park, Pampushka is full of energy. Steve has found a frisbee, and he and Gus teach the girls how to throw the frisbee for Pampushka to catch. They think it is a most excellent game, and do this for a long time. It is very nice, Gus thinks, and it is also good for Pampushka to have a chance to stretch her legs before a drive in the car.

 

“Are you looking forward to getting back to Woofles?” Steve asks Gus, and Gus nods.

 

“It will be good,” he declares. “It is always good when I am at Woofles, because there are many dogs, and dogs make me happy.” Gus sighs. “It will be good to have some happiness, I think.”

 

Steve reaches out his hand and squeezes Gus’s shoulder, and Gus likes it very much.

 

When they return to the house after some hours, they go to the living room and find Evan and Connor sitting there. Connor is reading a book but Evan is staring into space, like he is not seeing anything, and Gus realizes that Evan’s spirit is not present right now.

 

He does not like to see this.

 

It hurts his heart.

 

Steve goes to help Penny with her packing and Gus sits on a chair in the living room and smiles at his twin. Connor smiles back, but it does not reach his eyes.

 

Things are still very strange between them.

 

“So,” Gus says finally, because there has been a long stretch of time where it is very quiet and he does not like this, “tomorrow you go to rehab.”

 

Connor’s expression goes dark. “Yeah,” he says, not looking at Gus.

 

“Would you like that I visit you?” Gus asks, and he makes sure the words are gentle, because right now things are very delicate between them.

 

Connor shrugs. “Do what you want.”

 

“Connor.” Gus tries to find the words for what he wants to say. “I do not want for us to part on bad terms.”

 

Connor shrugs. “We’re fine. It’s fine.”

 

“No, it is not.” Gus sighs. “I understand that you are not happy with me because of Adam.”

 

Connor is quiet for a long moment. Then he is the one to sigh. “I just don’t get it,” Connor says quietly. “How you can see Evan like… like _this,_ and still think Adam didn’t deserve to die.”

 

“I care for Evan very much,” Gus says firmly. “It is not that I do not care. You must know this. He is one of the most important people in my life, and to see him like this hurts my heart very much.” It is hard to find the words to explain. “I think that what you say some nights ago is correct. That I must forgive Adam, because it means that I can forgive myself for my past.”

 

Connor looks at him and bites his lip. “I didn’t mean you should blame yourself for what happened in your past,” he says slowly. “I didn’t mean you shouldn’t forgive yourself.”

 

“I do not see how Adam and I are so different,” Gus says.

 

“You’re better than he is,” Connor insists. “You’re… you’re better. You’ve got the biggest heart, Gus, and that’s why you’re forgiving him. Not because he’s like you.”

 

“You do not know him,” Gus points out. “You do not know what he is like. Not really.”

 

“But I know what you’re like,” Connor replies. “And I know that you understand what’s right and what’s wrong. You’re… fuck, even when you were with Tatiana you knew that killing Jerome wasn’t right. That you wouldn’t hurt him because he was innocent. But Adam knew. The whole time, he knew that what he was doing was wrong and he did it anyway. And he _enjoyed_ it. When he spoke to me… I could tell that he loved it. Loved being in control.”

 

Gus remembers Adam’s happiness when he fights Zoe.

 

_I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alive. She’s one hell of a fighter, Gus. I think I’ll enjoy killing her._

 

Gus has never enjoyed killing.

 

It was a duty that had to be done.

 

Gus still thinks that Adam deserved better than he had, but there is a harshness to Adam that he does not have in himself.

 

They are not the same, he realizes.

 

They have things that are similar, but they are not the same.

 

Then again, Gus knows that none of them are the same, even though they wear the same face. They are all different. Unique individuals, with imperfections, and different thoughts and different opinions.

 

It is strange to realize that while they are made the same, there are no two alike.

 

“I am sorry I could not stop Adam sooner,” Gus says quietly. “I could not stop him from hurting Evan the way he has.”

 

Connor almost jumps in his seat. “Do you think I blame you for what happened to Evan?” he asks, his voice very sharp. “Of course I don’t, Gus. It had nothing to do with you.”

 

“I am strong, and resourceful,” Gus tries to argue. “There are things I could have tried to do.”

 

“Stop,” Connor says firmly. “Stop. I don’t… I don’t blame you. Fuck, Gus, of course I don’t blame you. I just… I wish none of this had happened.”

 

“I agree with this very much,” Gus confesses. He moves to the sofa and sits next to Connor. After a moment, Connor leans his head on Gus’s shoulder.

 

And Gus feels that there has been tension inside him since they return from Neolution that releases now.

 

That while they do not always understand and agree, Gus and Connor are connected.

 

“Please visit,” Connor says quietly. “When I’m in rehab.”

 

“Of course I will,” Gus replies, just as quiet. “Getting rid of me is impossible. I will annoy you until we are old and gray.”

 

Connor laughs, and Gus feels it throughout his body. “I’ll hold you to that.”

 

It is obvious that Gaelle and Penny do not want to say goodbye. There are tears, and many hugs, and Steve promises that while Lili, Jared and Gaelle are staying here in the States, they can visit. It is hard, though, because all the adults know that when they return to Switzerland, it will not be so easy for the girls to see each other, and this will be hard.

 

They decide that everyone who is left to leave will do so together, to make it more easy for Gaelle and Penny. Soon the cars are all packed up to go, and the goodbyes begin.

 

Gus makes sure to give Lili a big hug. He likes her very much, and thinks that she is a strong woman. “If there is anything you are needing,” he says, “you can call me and I will come.”

 

“I would not want to interrupt,” says Lili, but Gus shakes his head.

 

“It is no problem,” he insists. “You call, and I will help. Anytime.”

 

Penny is very sad to say goodbye to Gaelle, and Steve says quietly to Gus that he thinks that when they are in the car, she will fall asleep quickly. Gus thinks that this is good.

 

Gus looks at Connor, who smiles a little sadly. “Do you want that I come with you tomorrow when you go to rehab?” Gus asks, and Connor shakes his head.

 

“Dad’s going to take me,” he says. “I don’t want it to be a whole big thing.” He looks at Evan, who’s standing next to Heidi, looking more than a little confused at what’s going on. “Evan’s… well, we’ve talked about when he was having a good day, and he thinks it’s a good idea that I go. And… I don’t know. Maybe when I’m done, he’ll…” Connor nods, and wipes his face, and looks away, then looks back at Gus. “I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

 

“I understand,” says Gus with a nod. “I will visit later in the week, yes?”

 

Connor nods. “That sounds great.”

 

There are many hugs as they all say goodbye. The only one who does not get a hug is Evan, as Gus does not think it is right to hug him when he is not himself. Instead, he takes his hand and holds it between his, and focuses all his prayers on healing.

 

Evan smiles at him, and Gus feels like things will be okay.

 

Finally, they all go. Penny is crying as they get into the car, and she waves at Gaelle as they drive away, and Gus can see that Gaelle is waving as well.

 

It is not long before Penny falls asleep, just as Steve said would happen.

 

The drive home will be long, but Gus is feeling more hopeful than he had before.

 

Steve takes one hand off the wheel and offers it to Gus.

 

They hold hands for the rest of the drive back to Boston.

 

Although there is still a way to go for healing, in this moment Gus is content.


	61. SIXTY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery.

The first month in rehab is the worst. 

 

Connor comes close to just checking himself out on about three separate occasions. He hates pretty much everything about being there, most of all the teenager he’s sharing a room with. Kent is seventeen and he’s a loud-mouthed jackass who clearly doesn’t want to be there and has no problem reminding everyone at every possible opportunity he gets. 

 

He also really likes the sound of his own voice. 

 

As in, the kid never damn well shuts up. 

 

Gus is the first person to come visit Connor in rehab. For the first ten minutes of Gus’s visit, Connor finds himself ranting about how this kid just won’t shut the fuck up, how he’s always talking about how his parents suck for making him go to rehab, and how this is pointless and a total waste of money, how group therapy is bullshit, how the doctors are bullshit, how everything is bullshit…

 

When he runs out of steam, Gus looks at him, his expression contemplative. 

 

“You are going to rehab when you are seventeen, yes?”

 

“Yes,” Connor concedes. “But at least I knew when to shut up. This kid, however…”

 

“Is anything that he is saying not what you are thinking when you are in rehab at seventeen?” 

 

“Point taken.”

 

In typical Gus fashion, he doesn’t press the issue, but instead tells Connor what’s been going on “on the outside”. Woofles is apparently going strong. Gus is teaching an obedience class which includes a very enthusiastic Dalmatian named Ninja who likes to eat shoes, but only high heels. Penny’s settling back into school and enjoying herself. Gus has even brought one of Penny’s drawings to show Connor. It’s apparently supposed to be of the clones, but all Connor can see are identical stick figures. When he points this out to Gus, Gus laughs. 

 

“Maybe they are stick figures, but they are identical. That is the point.”

 

“And how’s Steve?” Connor asks with a grin. 

 

Gus blushes and ducks his head a little. “He is very good,” he says quietly. “Very good, and very kind. We finally have a proper first date, after all that has happened. Penny stays with her grandparents and we go out for dinner and drinks. It is a very nice night.”

 

Connor’s really glad to hear that. He likes Steve, and he thinks he and Gus are good together. He’d like to get to know Steve a bit better. Maybe once he’s out of rehab, the four of them can go on a double date: Gus, Steve, Connor and Evan. 

 

Depending on how Evan’s doing, that is. 

 

The main reason why the first month in rehab is the worst is that Evan only manages to visit once in his second week and he’s barely there the entire visit. 

 

Gus is the one to bring Evan, as Gus has decided that he’s going to visit every week, which Connor is completely fine with. The staff at the rehab center seem to think that Gus is extremely charming and they all go absolutely nuts over Pampushka, who laps up the attention and is more than happy to have belly rubs and pats from complete strangers. 

 

When Gus and Evan arrive that second week, Connor can tell the minute he lays eyes on Evan that it’s not a good day. 

 

Gus is apologetic. “He is okay when we leave the house,” he says quietly, “but as we drive, he becomes more confused. I consider taking him back, but I hope that maybe when he sees you, he will return to himself.” Gus smiles a little sadly. “And maybe that it is good for you to see him, even if he is not seeing you.”

 

Connor’s heart is pounding like crazy as Evan sits down across from him, eyes glazed over. He reaches out and takes Evan’s hand, and while Evan doesn’t look at him or say anything, he squeezes his hand back, and that’s something. 

 

Gus begins to talk animatedly about Woofles, about how Zoe has told him more about Hannah’s recovery, about how the rebuilding of ERAS is going, but Connor’s having a hard time concentrating because Evan’s just… gone. 

 

It’s about five minutes into the visit when their conversation is interrupted by raised voices across the room. Connor looks to the source of the noise instinctively to see his roommate sitting in a chair across from two well-to-do adults, his arms crossed and defensive. 

 

“Do you have any idea how much money we’re spending for you to be here?” demands the man, who’s in a polo shirt and expensive looking Dad-pants and has gray hair and broad shoulders and…

 

Fuck. 

 

It’s like looking into the past. 

 

“I didn’t ask to be here,” Kent snaps. “I don’t want to be here. If it’s such a fucking waste of money then just let me come home.”

 

“You’re making a scene,” hisses the woman, and she looks around the room with an expression that says she’s afraid people are judging her when she’s the one who should be doing the judging. Her outfit looks expensive and her haircut looks fashionable and she’d clearly rather be anywhere else than visiting her kid in rehab. 

 

Connor looks back at Evan and Gus. Evan’s expression doesn’t change, but Gus looks very sad. 

 

“It is not fair,” Gus says quietly. “Their child is needing help, and they think of money and reputation.”

 

Connor snorts. “It’s not uncommon, trust me. Mine and Zoe’s parents were exactly like them.”

 

“They wanted to help you,” says Evan suddenly. Connor looks back at him so quickly he nearly gets whiplash. “They just didn’t know how.”

 

To both of the twins’ dismay, that’s the only thing Evan says the entire visit. 

 

Gus gives Connor a tight hug before he goes, and apologizes again that it hasn’t been a good day for Evan. Connor feels weird about hugging Evan when he’s not really there so instead squeezes his hand and is hopeful when there’s a squeeze in return. 

 

Connor can’t help feel like Evan’s in there, still trapped inside his own head, fighting to get out. 

 

It’s an uphill climb. 

 

That night when they’re getting ready for bed, Kent’s uncharacteristically quiet. A part of Connor is thinking ‘fucking finally’ but another part remembers the argument between Kent and his parents and realizes the kid is probably feeling pretty fucking bad right now if he’s actually shut up. 

 

“Those were your parents who visited?” Connor says, as casually as he can. 

 

Kent snorts, then nods. “Yeah. They’re assholes.”

 

Connor pauses before he continues. “Remind me of my folks.” 

 

Kent looks at Connor, his eyes wide and young. “Did they force you to come here?” he replies bitterly. 

 

“No,” says Connor, as evenly as he can. “They’re both dead now.” He clears his throat. “But they sent me to rehab the first time I went. When I was about your age.”

 

Kent doesn’t seem to know what to say, which Connor thinks is probably a first for him. After a moment, he seems to have regained his ability to form sentences. “How many times have you been to rehab?”

 

“This is my second time.”

 

Kent considers. “And you’re, like, old now.”

 

“I’m 27,” Connor says, his tone a little more harsh than he intended. “I’m not old.”

 

“You’re like, ten years older than me.” Connor doesn’t reply, and he thinks the conversation is over until Kent tentatively asks a questions. “So you, like, just stopped doing drugs for 10 years? Or did you just stop getting caught?”

 

“I stopped,” Connor says. “Until recently.”

 

“What happened?”

 

Connor doesn’t even know where to start. Or what part of the story to tell this kid. He settles for a half truth. “My fiancé got injured,” he says. “He has a brain injury and he’s… not really himself anymore. It kind of fucked me up, and I started using again, and… I’m here to get better. To recover. So I can… well, I’m not fucking use to him if I’m an addict.”

 

Kent’s quiet for a moment. Connor doesn’t hate it. 

 

“Was he the guy who was with you today?” Kent asks after a while. “The quiet blond guy. He looked, like, super out of it.”

 

“That’s him.”

 

By this stage, they’re both in bed in their pajamas. Connor goes to turn off his light, and after a moment, Kent does the same. 

 

It’s dark and Connor’s convinced the conversation’s over until Kent’s voice breaks the silence. 

 

“That fucking sucks, dude. I’m really sorry.”

 

Connor sighs. “Yeah, me too.”

 

Connor’s third week in rehab brings a visit from Zoe. She’s called a couple of times, keeping Connor up to date with how things are going with Hannah, who’s having a bit of a rough time dealing with the PTSD of nearly being killed three times, but this is the first time she’s visited. 

 

It’s weird. 

 

It’s really fucking weird. 

 

The main reason it’s weird is because Zoe didn’t visit Connor in rehab the first time around when they were teenagers. Connor remembers asking where she was every time one of his parents visited. (They’d taken it in shifts, which had made Connor feel like they saw visiting him as a chore not unlike having to unload the dishwasher.) Each time, they’d said that Zoe was busy with her summer job and couldn’t get time off, but Connor knew she just hadn’t wanted to see him. 

 

Which was fair enough. 

 

He’d been fucking awful to her. 

 

Gus is, once again, there to visit, but he lets Connor and Zoe have some time alone. Connor notices a couple of the other residents who didn’t have visitors smiling at the sight of Pampushka and Gus going right up to them, offering to let them pet his dog, which is so quintessentially Gus that Connor can’t help but smile. 

 

“This is weird,” says Zoe once they’re alone. 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Last time…”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Zoe sighs. “How are you? Really, I mean. Please don’t bullshit me.”

 

Connor tries to put it into words. “I’m okay,” he tells her. “I’m… I’m doing okay. They’ve still got me on suboxone, they’re bringing that down slowly, and there’s group therapy and CBT and they’re letting me work on my book as kind of like… art therapy? So it’s… it’s good.”

 

Zoe nods. “That’s good. I’m glad.”

 

They’re quiet for a moment. “How’s Hannah?” Connor asks. 

 

Zoe bites her lip. “She’s going to be okay,” she says, “but it’s hard. She’s having a lot of nightmares. Her doctor prescribed her something to help her sleep, but she doesn’t like it - it makes her groggy all day and that kind of freaks her out? It makes her feel like if something happened, she wouldn’t have quick enough reactions to do anything, and that’s… kind of scary for her.” Zoe sighs. “Have to admit, I’d feel the same way in her position.” 

 

“And how are you? Are you… are you looking after yourself?”

 

“I am,” Zoe assures him. “I’ve been Skyping with my regular therapist about everything that’s been going on, which has been good, and I’ve found a place to do mixed martial arts near Hannah’s mom’s place, which always kind of relaxes me, so it’s been good.” She smiles a little. “It’s kind of good being with Hannah’s mom, though. She’s just… such a mom?” Her smile falls a little. “It makes me miss our mom, though. I’ve been thinking about her a lot.”

 

Connor nods. “That makes sense.” 

 

Zoe blinks a couple of times, and Connor has this swooping feeling in his stomach that he can’t quite place. “Mom would be happy about you and Evan,” she says, and the comment is so completely out of the blue that Connor doesn’t know how to respond to it. “We talked about it once and… she thought you would have been good for each other.” 

 

Connor’s not sure what to say, so he just nods. He can’t really process the idea of his mom and Zoe talking about him and Evan, because he knows that conversation would have happened when they both thought he was dead, and it would have been based on their fake friendship, and that just feels like a million years ago, and…

 

“I know that you and Evan weren’t really friends in high school,” Zoe says bluntly. “Evan and I… we’ve talked about it. When you and Gus were in Europe back in 2024, we cleared the air about everything. Including… all of that.”

 

Again, Connor doesn’t know what to say. 

 

He settles for the truth. 

 

“We weren’t friends,” Connor admits. “But… maybe we should have been. If we had… maybe things would be different.”

 

Maybe if they’d been friends in high school, the whole DYAD thing would never have happened. 

 

They wouldn’t know about the clones. 

 

Evan wouldn’t be...

 

Zoe shakes her head. “You can’t think like that.”

 

Connor knows she’s right. 

 

Week four is the weirdest week of his first month in rehab, because that’s the week he gets not just one or two but five visitors. 

 

By this stage, the staff at the rehab facility have gotten used to Connor’s twin brother with the strange accent and nice smile and cute dog. This, however, doesn’t prepare them for the sight of not just two but six identical faces when Gus brings Reed, Torpedo, Beanpole and Lucas with him to visit. 

 

The visitor’s room is starting to feel a little crowded, and people are definitely looking at them, so Gus manages to sweet-talk the staff into letting the six of them go for a walk outside. It’s a warm day for late October and they end up sitting in the garden, which Connor hasn’t really bothered to spend much time in but is admittedly quite nice. 

 

Reed’s carrying a bag, and they pull a Tupperware container from out of it. They open it to reveal a batch of brownies. 

 

Torpedo immediately cracks up laughing. 

 

“Your mom did  _ not _ send you here with special brownies to bring to Connor in rehab, oh my god.” 

 

“They’re not from Reed’s mom,” Lucas says with a roll of his eyes, “I made them and they’re pot free. I just didn’t bring a bag with me so Reed put the container in theirs.”

 

“Do not worry,” Gus says to Connor, putting his hand on his shoulder. “We check with Maureen at the desk, and she says that it is okay that we bring these for you. She is a very nice woman.”

 

“Well, if Maureen at the desk says it’s okay, then that’s good enough for me,” declares Beanpole, before helping himself to a brownie. He takes a bite, swallows it, then looks between Reed and Lucas. “You were serious that they’re pot-free, weren’t you?”

 

“Dead serious,” Lucas says with a roll of his eyes. 

 

Connor helps himself to a brownie, only slightly disappointed that they’re not one of Momma K’s, and looks at his clones. “So, what’s been going on?”

 

“Things at ERAS are starting to calm down,” says Reed. They look a lot more relaxed than the last time Connor saw them, and it helps untwist his insides a bit. “The new complex is going to take a while, though.”

 

“It’s a big job,” says Beanpole with a nod. “But they’re hoping we’ll be able to reopen next September.” He smiles. “We’ll have to have some sort of soiree to celebrate.”

 

“That’s great,” Connor replies, and he means it. He knows that Evan will be… that Evan would be…

 

“I had lunch with Evan last week,” says Reed quietly. “He was fairly lucid for most of it, but there were a couple of glitches. Christina says he’s improving bit by bit, but that it’s going to be a long road.”

 

“There is talk of another transfusion,” says Gus seriously. “They ask me if this is something I will do, and I say of course. Anything to help my friend.”

 

“We’ve been doing some preliminary research on the healing effects of Gus’s blood,” says Beanpole, clearly warming to the topic. “It’s off the record and not our main focus, but I have a small team on it. People I trust.”

 

“And the new security system is amazeballs,” Torpedo says proudly. “No one’s getting that information if they’re not supposed to.” 

 

“Good to know,” Connor replies. He looks at Lucas. “Anything new on your end?”

 

He’s not expecting Lucas to have much to say, but the other clones go quiet and look at him, and it dawns on Connor that Lucas looks… a lot more relaxed than he’s seen him in years. 

 

“I quit my job,” he announces. 

 

Connor blinks. “I’m sorry, you  _ what?”  _

 

“I found a job in my field with better work life balance,” Lucas says with a slow smile. “It means I get the time to do things I want to do. Things Donna and I want to do.” He picks up a brownie, then he continues. “Donna and I are going through the process of becoming foster parents.” 

 

“That’s really cool,” says Connor with a smile. “I think you guys would be great at it.”

 

“I hope so,” Lucas says, biting into his brownie. He chews and swallows and continues. “Also, Claudia’s soccer team needs a new coach and with the new job, I get to do that. So that’s… kind of awesome, actually.”

 

“You like soccer very much,” Gus says with a huge grin. “This is very good news, Lucas. I am glad you get to do the things that make you happy.”

 

“Me too,” Lucas confesses. He looks thoughtful. “I guess when you go through some of the crazy shit that we’ve been through recently, it really makes you think about your priorities.”

 

Torpedo snorts. “Lucas, this last disaster had literally nothing to do with you.”

 

Lucas raises his eyebrows. “I didn’t say it did. I just said it made me think about my priorities.”

 

Torpedo cracks up laughing and Lucas looks a little insulted. Gus pats Lucas’s shoulder. “It is good to think of priorities. You seem like you are much happier.”

 

Everyone kind of murmurs in agreement and they sit in companionable silence for the next half an hour or so, eating brownies in the rehab facilities garden. 

That evening when both he and Kent are in their room, Kent starts talking immediately. This isn’t new, but what he’s got to say is. 

 

“So, like, what do you call it when there are six of you and you all look alike?”

 

Connor sighs. “We’re clones.”

 

Kent laughs. “Yeah, right. It’s like… sextuplets or whatever, right?”

 

“No, we’re… clones.” Connor shrugs. “I mean, Gus is my twin, but the others are my clones.”

 

Kent just laughs again. “Dude, that’s like… not a thing.” 

 

Connor doesn’t bother replying. He just goes to bed and puts in his earplugs, because that seems to be the best way to tune out Kent’s incessant talking. 

 

Kent leaves rehab at the end of Connor’s first month, and from then on, things get a little easier. His new roommate Colin is quiet and nervous and Connor kind of feels bad for him. As the second month progresses and Gus visits at every possible opportunity, it becomes kind of obvious that Colin doesn’t have anyone who’s visiting him. 

 

So it doesn’t surprise Connor in the slightest when Gus decides to basically adopt Colin. At Gus’s second visit of the second month, he invites Colin to join them for a walk with Pampushka and it’s actually kind of chill. Colin, it turns out, really likes dogs, and also has a severe anxiety disorder along with a drug problem. By the end of that first conversation, Gus has more or less convinced Colin that he should look into getting a dog once he’s out of rehab. 

 

“Pampushka looks after me when I am in the panic,” Gus says, his voice warm but serious. “When I am young, bad things happen to me that are hard to understand. I get Pampushka when I am 18, and she looks after me very well.”

 

“Is she trained to look after you?” Colin asks, clearly interested. 

 

“Pampushka is very smart,” Gus says. “I am not training her. But we are training dogs at Woofles to be companions for those who have difficulties with mental health. There is no pressure for you to do this, but I am happy to help with finding a dog that has the right training and can help you for what you need if you would like.”

 

That night, Colin can’t stop talking about how nice Connor’s brother is, and Connor can’t bring himself to be annoyed about it because, well, it’s true. 

 

In the third week of Connor’s second month in rehab, Gus brings Evan along when he visits. 

 

Evan smiles brightly the minute he sees him and Connor’s stomach does a flip. 

 

He’s here. 

 

He’s here, and he’s present and he’s smiling and his eyes are clear and…

 

Connor doesn’t realize he’s tearing up until Evan’s pulled him into a hug. 

 

“Fuck, I missed you,” Connor says into his shoulder, embarrassed to be crying but not really caring because he hasn’t seen Evan in months and the last time he saw him, he wasn’t really there. 

 

“I missed you, too,” Evan says, and when they finally let go, Connor sees that Gus is smiling so hard his face probably hurts. 

 

“Colin and I will take Pampushka for a walk,” Gus announces, and Colin barely has time to protest before Gus has ushered him away. 

 

Evan looks at Connor, and Connor doesn’t think there’s anything more beautiful in the world than his eyes right now - clear and alert and bright and so incredibly  _ there.  _

 

“I had a second transfusion last week,” he says matter-of-factly. “Since then, things have been… better, I think. A lot better. Less time where I’m just not there. A lot less.”

 

“I’m so fucking glad to hear that,” Connor says fiercely. “Just… thank fuck.”

 

“I still get a bit confused,” Evan admits. “But it’s more like… like I know that something’s not quite right, but can’t quite figure it out? But I haven’t just kind of zoned out since and that’s… that’s really good.”

 

“So the whole transfusion thing works,” Connor says. “That’s… wow, that’s kind of insane.”

 

“Yeah,” Evan admits. “I’ve been reading up about it. Beanpole’s doing this whole study, but it’s staying under wraps for obvious reasons. They’re going to try to see if they can synthesize the healing capability from the blood samples so it doesn’t have to be done the way it’s been done with me.” He looks excited. “This could be huge. If we figured it out, it could help a lot of people.”

 

Connor tries to get his head around what Evan’s saying. It’s all too huge to properly understand right now. “That’s… a lot,” he says finally.

 

Evan nods. “I know. It’s crazy. But, I mean, so is human cloning.”

 

Connor grins. “Think we’re way past crazy on that one.”

 

They just sit there, smiling at each other like idiots for a while. 

 

Then they both start laughing. 

 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Connor says again. He still can’t believe that Evan’s really here. 

 

“Me too,” Evan says with a soft smile. “But I’m doing so much better now. And I’ll be coming with Gus to visit you at every chance I get, okay?” 

 

“Only if you’re feeling up to it,” Connor says immediately. “You don’t have to visit me as much as Gus does. You’ve got to focus on getting better, too.

 

Evan looks like he’s going to argue, but instead nods. “Okay.” His face breaks into a sunny smile. “Look at us, being healthy adults making healthy choices for our health.”

 

“So healthy,” Connor adds, and they both start laughing again. 

 

When it’s time for Gus and Evan to leave, Evan pulls Connor toward him and kisses him, and Connor thinks this might be up there with one of the best kisses they’ve ever had, even if they’re both crying, just a little. 

 

He falls asleep that night still thinking about it. 

 

After that, it’s like time speeds up. Connor’s remaining time at rehab goes by faster than he expects it to. He’s completely off the suboxone now, he’s feeling good and clear-headed and he’s surprisingly getting a lot out of group therapy. As much as he thought he’d hate the very thought of it, he thinks he’s going to go to NA meetings when he goes home. It’s important, he thinks, to have that community aspect. To know people who get it. 

 

This time around it’s so different to how it was in high school. 

 

And he’s feeling really good about it all. 

 

Gus visits every week, but Evan doesn’t always make it. Evan does, however, call pretty often, and it helps allay some of Connor’s fears to be in regular contact and be able to tell that yes, he is improving and yes, things are going to get better. 

 

Connor’s spent a lot of time talking about Evan in therapy, especially in his early days in rehab when he wasn’t sure Evan was ever going to fully recover. Coming up with ways to make sure that he looked after his own health, that he accepted help from his family and friends, that he knew that it wasn’t just on him to look after Evan. 

 

Now that Evan’s doing so much better, all he wants to do is to take Evan back to their apartment and go back to their normal lives, but he knows it’s not that simple. Connor will be getting out of rehab just before Christmas, and after much discussion and a visit where Heidi and Seamus come along as well, it’s decided that Connor and Evan will stay with Heidi and Seamus for all of January at the very least, then take it from there. 

 

Since Beanpole and Tina are still working on the ERAS building, they’re happy to keep looking after Connor and Evan’s apartment, which Connor’s grateful for, but Connor thinks that maybe once he and Evan are ready to live on their own again, maybe they should look at getting a new apartment. 

 

One without all the memories. 

 

On Connor’s last day at rehab, Colin’s there to see him off, which Connor thinks is nice of him. Gus is determined to keep visiting him and the staff agree that Connor’s doing well enough in his recovery that if he wants to visit Colin, it would be fine. Connor’s spent quite a few nights talking with Colin about their struggles with addiction and knows that Colin doesn’t really have a support network, so he’s more than happy to keep in touch with his least obnoxious roommate. 

 

“Are you nervous?” Colin says as they wait for Gus to pick Connor up. 

 

“A little,” Connor admits. “Mostly I’m just looking forward to getting back to my life.”

 

“Getting back to Evan, you mean,” says Colin with a small smile. 

 

Maybe at one point, getting back to Evan would have been all Connor cared about. It’s definitely up there, but it’s not the only thing he’s looking forward to. 

 

He wants to have dinner with Lucas and Donna and listen to Lucas talk about coaching his niece’s soccer team. 

 

He wants to hang out at Reed, Chiv and Rita’s weird apartment and eat samosas and have weird conversations. 

 

He wants to play Mario Kart with Torpedo, even though he knows he’s never going to win. 

 

He wants to watch Handsome Funny John with Gus and Zoe and Hannah and eat ice cream and quote the jokes as they appear on the screen. 

 

He wants to get to know Gus’s new boyfriend. 

 

He wants to talk to his publisher about his new book, which is almost finished after having a decent chunk of free time to work on it in rehab. 

 

He wants to live, surrounded by his friends and his family and the people who care about him. 

 

And he wants to wake up next to Evan. Every morning from now until the end of time. 

 

The doors open and there’s Gus in his ridiculous, way too long scarf that’s wrapped around his neck a million times, wearing a jacket and beaming.

 

And next to him is Evan, his cheeks tinged pink from the cold, in a jacket that brings out his eyes and a hat and the biggest smile on his face, his eyes sharp and bright and clear as an early morning on a perfect day. 

 

Evan reaches out his hand. 

 

Connor takes it with a smile. 


	62. EPILOGUE

**August 2028**

 

For about the hundredth time that evening, Evan looks through his cue cards to make sure they’re still in order. He really, really doesn’t want to fuck this up. 

 

He hadn’t been a hundred percent sold on the idea of giving a speech at the opening of the brand new Boston ERAS Center. When Beanpole had asked him if he’d be interested, he’d genuinely had to take some time to think it over. 

 

There was just so much to consider. 

 

First of all, he hasn’t actually worked at ERAS full time for almost a year, so there’s a part of him that feels like he doesn’t deserve to be doing this. When he’d said that to Beanpole and Reed, however, they’d both immediately argued that it didn’t matter, because the Boston ERAS Center wouldn’t be where it is today without Evan’s hard work, ever since he first started in the aftermath of the fall of DYAD in 2021. 

 

The main reason he’d really had to think about it had everything to do with how long it had taken for him to recover from the damage Neolution’s mind control caused. He’s doing better - a lot better, in fact. There are still moments where he forgets things he should know or kind of zones out for a few seconds but they’re becoming few and far between. Still, he’d worried that the stress of public speaking would trigger some kind of shut down and he’d have an episode. 

 

But the more he thought about it, the more he actually wanted to do it. ERAS is important to him and he’s proud of everything they’ve achieved. 

 

So he’d said yes. 

 

Now here he is, at a party celebrating the official opening of their brand new complex, sliding his cue cards into the pocket of his suit jacket and looking around the room for his fiance. When Evan finally spots Connor, he sees him standing next to his twin. Both of them are drinking champagne, both of them are wearing very well-cut suits and Pampushka’s sitting between them, wearing an adorable black bowtie. 

 

As Evan walks over, he has the sinking realization that he’s not sure which twin is which. 

 

It’s frustrating. Over the years, he’d gotten good at telling the twins apart and had only ever had that one mishap during the clone 21st party at the lake house. But for some reason, one of the things he’s struggled with since what happened at Neolution is telling the clones apart, and it’s incredibly inconvenient. 

 

Before Evan gets there, he’s inadvertently saved from awkwardness by Steve walking over, handing Gus a plate of hors d’oeuvres and kissing him. But he thinks he would have been able to tell them apart just from the way Connor’s eyes light up at the sight of him. 

 

“You ready for the big speech?” Connor asks once Evan’s in earshot, pulling him close and kissing him quickly. 

 

“I don’t know,” Evan admits. 

 

Connor’s expression grows serious. “Beanpole said you could change your mind at any time,” he reminds him. “If you’re not feeling up to it, you don’t have to do it. It’s as simple as that.”

 

“I think I can do it. I’m just nervous. But it’s regular nervous, I think, so… that should be okay.”

 

Connor grins. “Alright then.” He takes Evan’s arm. “Come on, let’s raid the snack table.”

 

“If Tina hears you calling it the snack table, she’ll have your head,” Evan warns him, but lets himself be led regardless. “She’s determined that this be a classy event.”

 

“Well then she shouldn’t have invited Torpedo,” Connor replies, and Evan follows his gaze to see the aforementioned clone putting five bacon-wrapped dates in his mouth at once. 

 

“Hey guys,” says Torpedo cheerfully as they approach, his mouth still full of food. It’s kind of disgusting. He’s wearing a suit jacket and tie and it’s a little weird, because Evan doesn’t think he’s ever seen Torpedo without his hoodie. “These bacon things are really good, oh my god.”

 

“There’s bacon?” says another vaguely familiar voice enthusiastically, and Evan turns to see Jared and Lili approaching. Torpedo offers Jared the plate of bacon wrapped dates and Jared picks up a handful and shoves them in his mouth. 

 

Evan sighs. “Jared, you’re Jewish. You’re not supposed to be eating pork.”

 

“I am Jewish,” Jared says with a mouth full of food. “But I’m really bad at it. Ask my mom.”

 

“I’d rather not,” Evan says dryly, remembering how much he’d always disliked Jared’s mom. 

 

Jared nods. “Yeah, fair call.”

 

Jared’s healed up a nicely from his stab wounds from the previous year, although he’s admitted that he still has some intense scars, which makes sense. Up until the third transfusion of Gus’s blood to help with Evan’s brain injuries, he’d had scarring from the time he was shot, but weirdly enough that last transfusion seems to have gotten rid of his scars. 

 

(Hannah has all sorts of theories about what that means, as does Reed. Watching the two of them talk about it is more than a little overwhelming.)

 

“So you guys are flying back to Switzerland next week, right?” Evan asks, and Lili nods. 

 

“Gaelle must start school,” she says. “Still, we have had a very nice summer here in America.” Jared makes a face but doesn’t argue with his… whatever Lili is to him, Evan’s having a hard time keeping up. 

 

It had taken a while for Jared to heal enough for them to get back to Switzerland, but they’d sent Gaelle back as soon as Miranda thought it was safe so she could get back into school and Lili and Jared had followed as soon as Jared was able to fly. Gaelle had quickly caught up with any missed school work and had managed to convince her mom that they should come back to America in the summer so she could hang out with Penny. 

 

This had actually worked out pretty well for Beanpole and Reed, who wanted to get a better idea of Gaelle’s abilities. Her spending the summer in the States meant that they could catch up with her regularly to do some non-invasive testing and get a better idea of what’s going on. This combined with regular sessions with a leading child psychologist had made things a lot easier for Gaelle, and she’s slowly but surely learning how to block the emotions from the clones. As she gets older, Reed theorizes that she might be able to focus her abilities to hone  _ in _ on the emotions of particular clones, but the verdict’s still out as to whether or not they try that. 

 

When Reed mentioned it, both Connor and Gus had freaked out. 

 

“The inside of my head is not a good place for a kid,” Connor had said, and Gus had nodded in agreement. 

 

As well as hanging out with Penny and working with ERAS, Gaelle’s also had the chance to get to know the other kids attached to Clone Club. Lucas’s nieces Sally, Claudia and Yvette and Gus and Zoe’s friend Sveta’s daughter Sofia are a bit older than Gaelle and Penny but all the girls get along very well (Sofia and Yvette are best friends and have been since they met when they were four). They’d all hung out at the 4th Annual Woofles Family Fun Day and had a fantastic time. 

 

All six of the girls had even gone camping with Gus, Steve, Lucas’s sister Denise and her husband Daniel (not to be confused with Hannah’s brother Daniel, to everyone’s amusement). Apparently they’d had an amazing time, even though all four of the adults looked exhausted on their return. 

 

They’d invited Evan, knowing that he’s a big fan of the great outdoors, but he still didn’t quite feel up to it. 

 

Maybe next year. 

 

“Charles says that you are giving a speech,” Lili says to Evan with a soft smile. “I am looking forward to hearing what you have to say.”

 

Jared cackles. “Oh man, do you remember that time in high school you had to give that presentation and…” He trails off and clears his throat. “I mean, I’m sure you’ll do great.”

 

Evan can feel Connor tense with irritation next to him, so he takes his arm, tells Lili, Jared and Torpedo they’ll see them later and gets his fiance out of there. 

 

“I hate him,” Connor grumbles, and Evan sighs. 

 

“He’s trying,” Evan counters.

 

Connor rolls his eyes. “I know. That doesn’t mean I have to like him.” He’s quiet for a moment. “His kid is pretty great, though.” 

 

“Yeah, Gaelle is cool.”

 

Evan knows that Gaelle and Penny are both staying at Sveta’s tonight to hang out with Sofia and Yvette, who’d begged to be allowed to stay with Sofia for the week before school starts back. (Evan’s not about to say anything, but he’s pretty sure that Sofia and Yvette  _ like _ each other in that twelve-year-old crush kind of way and it’s so cute he can barely stand it.)

 

As they’re walking through the crowds of people, every now and then someone stop and talks to Evan to tell them they’re glad to see he’s recovering and they’re looking forward to seeing him back at ERAS when it reopens. 

 

He doesn’t bother correcting them. 

 

The thing is, he doesn’t know if he’s coming back to ERAS full time. At the moment, they’re taking things as they come. The last few months, he’s been going in a couple of days a week when he’s had good days and helped out, especially with the move from the temporary building to the new one. But there are still gaps in his memory and his knowledge and there are things that he knows he knew that he has to learn again, which is… frustrating. 

 

Really fucking frustrating. 

 

He’d panicked about it at first, not knowing when he’d be able to go back to work full time. The whole idea of not working and not contributing was just really scary and he didn’t want to put the pressure on Connor to have to support him. Connor, to his credit, had been understanding about the whole thing. 

 

“ERAS paid well,” he’d said when they’d discussed the situation, “and your savings are really healthy. I’ve got my trust fund and pre-sales for my second book are going really well - I think we’re going to be okay, even if you’re not working for a while.” 

 

“I don’t want you to have to look after me,” Evan had replied immediately, which had resulted in an eye roll for the ages from Connor. 

 

“I barely made any money right out of college,” Connor pointed out. “When I was working on the book. You looked after me then, I’ll look after you now.”

 

And that had been the end of that conversation. 

 

It still makes Evan nervous to think about. The whole ‘not knowing exactly what comes next’ thing. But if there’s one thing he’s learned from this whole experience, it’s that you have to take things one day at a time sometimes. 

 

Connor had gotten back from rehab just before Christmas and they’d spend January and February living with Heidi and Seamus. In February, they decided to start looking for a new apartment. Their lease on their current place wasn’t up until June, but Beanpole and Tina had decided they’d stay in the States until ERAS reopened in late August and since they were staying at Connor and Evan’s current apartment, they figured they’d be able to work it all out. 

 

In mid-March, Connor and Evan moved into their new place. Instead of being in the city like they had before, the new place was the same neighborhood as Heidi and Seamus and Gus, Steve and Penny. 

 

Speaking of moving, Gus had surprised everyone by moving in with Steve about a week before Connor got out of rehab. Zoe and Hannah had made a million jokes about how lesbians were supposed to be the ones with U-Hauls, not gays, which then led to someone having to explain the jokes to Gus, but at the end of the day it had worked out really well. Steve and Gus are stronger than ever and Evan’s willing to put money on the two of them doing something like getting engaged and married completely out of the blue any moment. 

 

Steve and Gus will probably beat Connor and Evan to the whole wedding thing, to be honest. Evan’s pretty sure that he can’t quite process the whole ‘planning a wedding’ thing any time soon. 

 

He spots Zoe and Hannah in the corner. Hannah’s talking to an older woman in a nice dress that Evan thinks is vaguely familiar but can’t quite place, and there’s this annoying buzzing at the back of his mind that says he should know her and it’s making him anxious. 

 

He and Connor head toward them nonetheless. 

 

“You two clean up nice,” says Zoe as they approach with a smile. 

 

“So do you guys,” Evan replies honestly, because Zoe and Hannah both look amazing. Hannah’s in well tailored pants, a dress shirt, a blazer and a tie and it’s super cute on her, whereas Zoe’s in a sky blue dress that’s kind of floaty with her hair all curled and loose. 

 

“Good to see you up and about, Evan,” says the woman he doesn’t recognize but knows he should with a sincere smile. 

 

Evan doesn’t know what to say. Hannah takes one look at him and smiles encouragingly. “Evan, this is Dr. Carol Harkness. You might remember working with her at Harvard. She helped us with the… situation last year.”

 

The name sounds familiar but it still doesn’t really click. Evan reaches out his hand to shake hers, and she takes it with a slightly concerned look. “I have to apologize,” Evan says as calmly as he can. “I’m still having some trouble with my memory.”

 

“That’s to be expected,” says Dr. Harkness with a nod. “I’ve worked with ERAS to study the effects of the A-Dev and it’s… well, quite frankly it’s rather horrifying.” There’s genuine sympathy on her face as she continues. “You’re lucky to be alive.”

 

Evan feels Connor’s arm around him, gripping his shoulder tighter than he thinks he means to. He reaches out to take Connor’s other hand and squeezes it. 

 

“Okay, so this is a party,” says Zoe bluntly. “Change of subject: Connor, what day is your book release?” 

 

“Next week,” Connor replies, obviously grateful for the topic change. “I’ll be doing a signing in New York.” 

 

“That’s cool,” Hannah says enthusiastically. “Daniel finally read your first book, by the way.”

 

“Yeah?” says Connor. “What did he think?”

 

“His exact words were ‘needs more dragons’.”

 

Connor cracks up laughing. 

 

Hannah’s recovering well from her injuries as well, but it did mean she had to take time off school, which she wasn’t exactly thrilled about but Zoe managed to convince her wasn’t the end of the world. She’d had an understandably hard time and she and Zoe had spent nearly six months living with Hannah’s mom, which Evan thinks was probably a good idea. 

 

He knows he would have found his recovery hard without his mom. 

 

A server comes by with a plate of hor d’oeuvres, including the bacon-wrapped dates from earlier. Evan isn’t really hungry so passes, and he notices idly that neither Zoe or Hannah take the bacon-wrapped dates, then remembers Zoe mentioning something about converting to Judaism.

 

It’s all kind of fuzzy in his brain. 

 

He’s sure they’ve talked about it, but it just didn’t stick. 

 

It’s just so incredibly frustrating. 

 

“You ready for your big speech?” 

 

Evan turns to see Reed heading toward them, Rita and Chiv at their side. If it were anyone else wearing what Reed’s currently wearing, Evan would do a double-take, but he’s known Reed for nearly 8 years now and nothing surprises him anymore. Zoe practically applauds at the sight of them. 

 

Reed is in a suit jacket and a pink ball gown that matches their hair, which is styled into a kind of pompadour that actually looks pretty awesome. 

 

“Oh my god, your  _ eyeliner,” _ Zoe gushes as she looks at Reed. “Seriously, it could kill a man.” 

 

“Tina said this was a formal occasion,” Reed replies with a grin. “I went all out.”

 

“You look awesome,” Connor says with a satisfied nod. He gestures to Rita and Chiv, who are in a slinky red dress and a navy blue suit respectively. “All of you do.”

 

“This is one of the only times we’ve all gotten dressed up,” Zoe says with delight. “This is so cool. We need to make sure we get tons of photos.”

 

“Did you see Pampushka?” Evan adds. “She’s wearing a bowtie.”

 

“Oh my god, of course she is,” says Hannah with a laugh. 

 

“Are Lucas and Donna coming?” Evan asks, because he honestly can’t remember. 

 

“They were planning on it, but they had to cancel at the last minute,” Rita says. She looks at Reed, who nods, and then turns back to the group. “They got a call from a case worker about a six month old boy who needed urgent foster care, so they’ve been crazy busy getting things ready. I think he arrived this afternoon.” 

 

“Wow,” says Zoe, her eyes wide. “They’ve done a lot of short term fostering recently, but this is the first baby, right?”

 

“Yeah,” says Reed with a nod. “Lucas called and told me. The baby’s name is Sam and they’re super excited to have him. This one could be a long term foster home situation.” 

 

“They’re going to do great,” says Connor decisively. “They’ll be great parents.”

 

They stand and talk for a while longer, until Evan spots Tina walking toward them. She’s in a long dark blue evening gown and looks fantastic and waves him over when she sees him. 

 

“Just wanted to check in to see if you’re ready for your speech,” Tina says quietly. “Remember, there’s no pressure.”

 

Evan looks over to Connor, who’s standing with his family and friends, then back to Tina. “I can do it,” he says decisively. 

 

Connor catches his eye then walks over. “Time for you to wow the crowd?” 

 

“Yeah,” says Evan. He reaches into his pocket and grabs the cue cards again, then checks they’re in order one last time. “I’m nervous.”

 

“You’re going to be great,” Connor says sincerely. “You really are.”

 

“Unless I have an episode and forget where I am,” Evan shoots back with a sigh. 

 

Connor’s face falls, and Evan wishes he hadn’t said anything, but then Connor lifts his chin and looks right back at him. “So what if it does? You went through something really difficult and you came out the other side. If you have an episode, then you have an episode. It’s a moment and it’ll pass and no one will judge you for it.”

 

“You know that they will.”

 

“Okay, let me rephrase that,” says Connor with a roll of his eyes. “No one who  _ matters _ will judge you for it.” He smiles widely. “Now go up there and knock them dead.”

 

Evan follows Tina across the room to a podium, where Beanpole’s standing. He taps the microphone a few times then launches into a speech where he welcomes everyone in attendance, thanks a long list of people, explains a bit more about what ERAS does and then introduces “Evan Hansen, one of the original founders of ERAS, who’s here to say a few words”. 

 

Evan steps up to the podium and looks out over the crowd. 

 

He sees familiar faces. 

 

His mom. Seamus. Gus and Steve. Zoe and Hannah. Reed, Chiv and Rita. Jared and Lili. 

 

Former colleagues, people he recognizes by sight and not by name, people whose faces trigger something in the back of his brain. 

 

And Connor. 

 

Looking proud even though he hasn’t said a word yet. 

 

Evan clears his throat and looks at his cue cards, then looks out at the crowd once more. 

 

“When I was asked to say a few words this evening, I wasn’t really sure what to say. As most of you will know, last year when our previous building was destroyed, we lost a lot of good people. People who worked hard and truly believed in what we’re doing here at ERAS. In addition to those we lost, many of us were also affected by the explosion - including me. I’m still recovering from a traumatic brain injury that could have ended my career and my life.”

 

He takes a steadying breath and continues. 

 

“I want to take a moment to acknowledge those we lost in last year’s explosion. If I could, I’d like to ask that we have a minute’s silence to reflect and remember our workmates and friends who are no longer with us.”

 

The room falls silent. Evan turns around to see that they’ve put up a slideshow with the names and faces of everyone who died in the explosions, just as he’d requested. 

 

He times the minute and watches the faces. 

 

So many of them trigger that buzzing in the back of his mind, that knowledge that he should recognize them, he should know who they are, but his brain just won’t cooperate. 

 

He hates it. He hates it so much. 

 

The minute passes, and he goes to his next cue card.

 

“Thank you. As I mentioned earlier, I wasn’t sure what to say when I was asked to speak. I knew that it was important to look back, to acknowledge our past. To acknowledge our losses. But it’s equally as important for us to note that, as an organization, we’ve always strived to look forward. To look to the future. To create new things, to learn more about how the world works, to innovate, educate and create in ways that’ll help the generations yet to come. I think that one of our strengths as an organization is our ability to do that. And this new center is the proof.”

 

He goes to his next card, and he kind of wishes he’d had someone to write this speech for him, because part of him thinks he’s bombing. Part of him knows that if he were at 100%, if he didn’t still have a part of his mind that was out to get him, that this would be a whole lot better. 

 

But this is how it is. 

 

“I wasn’t around in the immediate aftermath of the explosion,” Evan says, trying to keep his voice even, “but I know that it was barely a week before the Boston ERAS Center was back up and running, even if it wasn’t at full capacity. And I think that’s one of our strengths, too. When we get knocked down, we don’t sit around and think about how awful it is that we’re down - we get back up. We find ways to keep going, to keep moving, to keep doing what we do. We’re incredibly fortunate to have strong leadership and support from ERAS International, in particular my friend and colleague Charles Booth. But what I think really keeps us going at the end of the day is the fact that all of us at ERAS really believe in what we do. And we’re willing to do whatever it takes to keep going.”

 

Evan looks out and sees Connor’s encouraging smile. 

 

“I myself am still recovering, and it’s hard. It’s hard work. But I’m not giving up. I’m moving forward and I’m finding ways to keep going, regardless of the setbacks. And I think it’s important to realize that ‘keep going’ and ‘move forward’ doesn’t always mean everything’s going to go your way. It’s not always a straight line to a destination - sometimes it goes all over the place. Sometimes it takes you to places you never expected to be. And those places can teach you a lot.” 

 

He looks out at the crowd and gives a smile of his own. 

 

“I’m excited to see what the future holds for ERAS, in particular for the brand new Boston ERAS Center. If we all focus on moving forward and just keep going, we’re going to do great things. Thank you, and good night.”

 

His heart is thumping so hard it feels like his ears are vibrating as he steps off the podium. It takes him a moment to get his bearings - it’s loud and it’s bright and he’s finding it a little hard to focus, but then all of a sudden there’s a hand on his shoulder and he looks up to see Connor smiling at him. 

 

“You did it,” he says softly. “I’m really proud of you.”

 

“It wasn’t great,” Evan says immediately. “I could have… I could have done better.”

 

“I liked it,” Connor insists. “Looking to the future, right? That’s… that’s what we’re all going to do.”

 

Evan thinks about everything they’ve been through in the last year. 

 

Then thinks about what they’ve got to look forward to. 

 

“Yeah,” he says with a smile. “Looking to the future.”

 

He can’t wait to see what happens next. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's "Just One, I'm A Few", in the bag! 
> 
> This will probably be the last big crazy multi-chapter adventure for Clone Club, but it won't be the end - expect to see a decent chunk of one-off fics for this universe, which I will probably never leave. 
> 
> Huge thanks, as always, to @chchchchcherrybomb for all their love and support, and also to @nosecoffee for letting me do horrible things to their children.


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